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- [00:00]
Ben Mandelker
Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondry in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hear that? That's the sound of Cinnamon Toast Crunch telling us it's crunch time as we gear up for another year of cereal training camp. Last year a dynamic brother duo competed and won the right to make their very own cereal. They named it the Kelce Mix. This summer the energy is being brought straight from the end zone to the breakfast aisle with three cereal loving wide receivers, Justin Jefferson, Amon Ra, St Brown and Ja' Marr Chase. You can find these football stars on limited edition cereal boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, Honey Nut, Cheerios and Reese's Puff Cereal starting in August. And don't miss out on Justin Jefferson's Jetta's Mix, a fruity fusion of Frosted Lemon Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Strawberry. For a limited time only, be sure to score them all where every bite tastes like a touchdown.
- [01:06]
Ronnie Karam
If you're shopping while working, eating or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of a deal. But are you getting the deal and cash back? Rakuten shoppers? Do they get the brands they love? Savings and cash back and you can get it too. Start getting cash back at your favorite stores like Target, Sephora and even Expedia. Stack sales on top of cash back and feel what like to know you're maximizing the savings. It's easy to use and you get your cash back sent to you through PayPal or check. The idea is simple. Stores pay Rakuten for sending them shoppers and Rakuten shares the money with you as cash back. Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. It's the most rewarding way to shop. That's R a K u t e n rakuten.com.
- [02:03]
Ben Mandelker
What happens when there's so much of crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today without his sunglasses. Wow. Ronnie, welcome those beautiful new eyes. Here to watch what crappens. Hi Ronnie. Karim, what's going on?
- [02:33]
Kelly
I'm still a little breezed and sw but I don't feel like wearing glasses today so deal with it. I'm the least bruised and swollen I've been, so you know what it's gonna be. It's a gradual process. Okay. It's like healing.
- [02:45]
Ben Mandelker
It's very nice and very lovely. And your eyes look beautiful. So, everyone, welcome to Below Deck Day. Just when I was gonna start complaining that Below Deck was kind of boring me this season, in comes this episode to give me the sort of belly laughs I really needed on a Monday. I mean, really just. Just a plus work by wretched drunken guests. I was just so happy. I. It was what. It was just. It's what I needed to start the week. It made me so thrilled. I was like. Because for a while there, I was like, am I gonna have to sit through the love rhombus again? Is.
- [03:24]
Kelly
It's just.
- [03:24]
Ben Mandelker
It's like endless with these people making out that I don't care about.
- [03:28]
Kelly
But thankfully promising at the start.
- [03:31]
Ben Mandelker
Did Wasn't. But then Kelly came along and she was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna be every single Ronnie Karam character you've ever seen rolled up into one person.
- [03:42]
Kelly
Democrats, Democrats, Democrats, Democrats, Democrats.
- [03:50]
Ben Mandelker
She was hilarious. So awful. She became legendary. I don't know if we have anything to announce except to say thank you for everyone who came both to our Amazon Live last night. That's still up. Still. Check it out. And we recommended lots of fun stuff. Ronnie gave us an insight into some of his iconic and famous face care routine. So he has recommendations for that. And I recommended three cookbooks that all feature some nice, fresh, healthy recipes. So that's on Amazon Live. And then we also did Crappy Hour. Thanks to Misha for joining us from the big flop. We had a really great time, so. And of course, thanks to all the listeners who showed up and commented and engaged. We always appreciate that. And of course, on patreon.com watch for crappins. You can watch not just listen with crappins on demand. So hi everyone there. We did a really fun bonus episode this week where we talked about our entire experience in Las Vegas. The highs and of the highs. Going to the Backstreet Boys concerts, the lows of the lows, having my flight just up and canceled by Delta and me having to suddenly drive out through the desert out of at the last minute to Vegas. So it was a really fun time. So go check that out. And that's all that there is about that. Let's get into some below deck, shall we?
- [05:08]
Kelly
Yacht club isle since Martin. So everybody's basically making out. Everybody doing their thing. Bunch of mids bone in, basically. You know who's really hot? Jess. My God, she was on Watch what happens. Which I Didn't watch. Well, I watched a little clip that was on Instagram kind of, but, you know, it's boring because it was below deck people. No offense, below deck people, but I don't know. Don't talk on shows. Just talk on your own show. Don't do interview shows because they're like. Because no one's ever spicy on those shows. You know, everyone's in service, so by the time they get to the show, they're just like, I'm so sorry. He was like, whoa, what about you kissing her and then kissing her and then kissing her, but then going back and kissing her, but then kissing her. And she's like, well, I take full responsibility for it because it wasn't cool. But, you know, thinking back on it, I take full responsibility. So blood deck. People on watch what happens live are always like, I'm sorry, but, God, she's gorgeous. Damn.
- [06:11]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I didn't watch. I didn't watch. She is. She is a hottie, but she's also a fuck girl, I guess. Is that the equivalent? Is that the animal fuck boy?
- [06:21]
Kelly
I think. I think it's just a fuckboy is fine. I don't know. Fuck girl sounds weird, right? I mean, I know she is.
- [06:25]
Ben Mandelker
We'll just say her. She's a fuck girl.
- [06:26]
Kelly
She's still a fuckboy. She's got fuckboy behavior also. She. It's hot. No, just kidding.
- [06:34]
Ben Mandelker
Well, they always were.
- [06:35]
Kelly
Also, what I was gonna say is you were completely right last week because I call. I was like, you know, I think. No, I think, you know, maybe she has, like, some playboy, you know, attitudes or whatever, but I think she really means it with Barbara. And then immediately, like. And you were like, nope, that's a fuck boy. And then five minutes later. I mean, literally.
- [06:53]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, like, it's crazy this. She's. She's actually one of the fastest moving fuck boys we've seen on Bravo. I mean, she was kind of like. She trumped Carl in his heyday. Jesse. What's Jesse? What's Solomon? Many Vanderpump rules people. She really. She moved with with a speed that was alarming. And I thought shitty, too. I would also like to add.
- [07:15]
Kelly
Yeah, it was shitty. And, you know, not to excuse her. Okay. But just to make excuses for her, because that's totally different. I think maybe it's probably different when you're, like, used to being the only gay person, because, you know, once you're presented with multiple opportunities, gay people on Below deck aren't used to that. You know, it's like, there's. Usually you're the only one if there is any. And if there are more than that, I think, and they're both into you, it's like, whoa. Not, you know, Solan's not gay, but she's under the umbrella. So I think she's just like, whoa, what do I do? There's so many opportunities.
- [07:51]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yeah. I think she was definitely kid in a candy shop. But guess what? You work on a yacht, not a candy shop, so stop doing that. I thought it was. I think especially I was angry because we love Barbara so much. And I was like, don't you do that to Barbara. Barbara is our. The hero of our. Of the season for us. Don't. Don't play with her heart like that, okay? Don't play with her bangs, her beautiful curly bangs. Don't do this.
- [08:13]
Kelly
Barbara's not one of those girlfriends who's just, you know, just like some frilly, like, plaything. I think Barbara was like, have a farm. You know, she'd like, have a farm. She'd like, have planted a fall crop for you and your children. You know, she's a true all your clothes or something.
- [08:30]
Ben Mandelker
Like, she's like a true real deal lesbian. Like, you make out with her, you're signing a contract for nine years, you know, and she's like, what? You already reneged that quickly? Like, you know, she's like, not gonna happen.
- [08:42]
Kelly
Yeah. So Fraser is talking to Jess and she's like, oh, yes, I did kiss Barbara like you told me. And Barbara's like, you know, I haven't been with gay girl for so long, but, you know, she's a good girl. I like her and I'm having a good time, but it just changed so quickly. I'm like, it's crazy. I'm so happy. Like, what's, you know, here we are so in love and then immediately it's over.
- [09:07]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [09:07]
Kelly
And.
- [09:08]
Ben Mandelker
And then they're like, you know, sitting with each other and being cute. And Jess is like, don't be awkward now. She's like, I'm not awkward. She's like, you're so awkward. It's like flirty post kiss banter, you know? And, you know, Barbara's like, she is being a little awkward. But I. Because I think Barbara has finally maybe opened herself up to the possibility of maybe something with Jess, because Jess begged her incessantly last episode. It was like non stop. Like, don't you feel like there's something with you and me? Because I feel like there's something with you and Me. Let's kiss. I feel like we have something. I think we should get married. And Barbara's like, fine, fine, fine. So begging and begging and begging now that it's happened. Then we go over to Kyle, literally.
- [09:45]
Kelly
Said, I don't want to kiss anybody else but you.
- [09:48]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, literally sold a blatant lie. So then we go over to Kyle, who, like, goes over to Solan, and he's like, well, I've got something to say to you. She's like, oh, I'm listening to you. She's like, well, you know, I thought we were going good, but I felt horrible. But you and Jess were. Went and did your thing, so I'm taking my name out of the race. Like, I'm going to stop trying to kiss you. I'm going to stop trying to cuddle, but I will keep reminding Jess that we did kiss in the closet this morning.
- [10:15]
Kelly
And he tells us, yes, I'm definitely mama's boy. You know, whenever I'm sad, she just tells me, get the fuck over it. You're worse. Slaps me on the back of the head. Enough of your shit. Get on with it. Like, really? Because you need her. I think you need her here to slap you on the head and tell you that. So he's like, okay.
- [10:33]
Ben Mandelker
So glad the show stopped. Everything to be like, okay, stop. Kyle is sad right now. Let's see how this relates to his mother. Okay, now the show is back up again.
- [10:42]
Kelly
But I don't think we got an Instagram wall, so that was good. We did get one.
- [10:47]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [10:47]
Kelly
What's even on his Instagram wall? I think I just ignore those. That's why they don't bother me. I think they just. I think I just filtered them out or something. But, like, what's even on there? Is it him, like, drinking a pint? I. I would just imagine him drinking pints in different, you know, fashions of kilts or something.
- [11:02]
Ben Mandelker
I think. I think it's. I. I try not to actually look at the pictures anymore because they make me so mad, the Instagram walls. Because now that I've, like, declare that they make me mad, they actually make me angrier and angrier with each subsequent episode. So I have now so much rage against them because I've now gone down a path.
- [11:20]
Kelly
I imagine his is like, you know, like the. The. A pint he's drinking or a Peaky Blinders meme. You know, maybe like the goat he took to prom or some shit, like.
- [11:32]
Ben Mandelker
Standing on top of, like, a small mountaintop with his, like, shirtless with his hands out. You know, that's a classic thing that yacht, like, deckhands do.
- [11:39]
Kelly
Yeah.
- [11:40]
Ben Mandelker
In their photos.
- [11:41]
Kelly
Yeah. A lot of things covered in mud, you know, where you're like, why is he muddy? You know, stuff like that. So then he breaks up with her, basically, even though they're not dating. He's one of those guys who got dumped, like, weeks ago. And then he's like, you're ugly anyway because she dumped you already. So he's like, oh, so good, you know, Good. Let's shake hands. Good game. Good game. So they shake and shake. Oh, I've been now scorned by two people in row. This will not happen. I'm not children. So she goes right into gear to get somebody else on the hook, because this girl is not going to take. When one person breaks up with you, you know, if you get broken up with too many times, you're out of there. So she gets to work.
- [12:27]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, exactly. She really does. Meanwhile, Anthony is making. He's eating ribs and Rainbow's eating a salad. And then. Which, I don't know, it's actually funny because I did, like, sort of pause and be and, like, think about. I, like, had, like, a moment where I thought about their process of why they decided on those things. It's not really relevant for the podcast. So Anthony's like, FISA and I, sometimes we need to put everything on the table. And I think the best way to keep a relationship is, like, a friendship like this, you know? And, you know, I feel good, you know, Like, I feel like me and Fraser, like, we broke the tension. I was like, you. You smash your hand into a switch on the wall. And then Fraser came in and said, enough with this already. What is the problem? And then you simpered for a moment and then it was done. And he's acting like they had. They're on top of. They went to some like. Like Miraval or something and, like, did a sound bath and had this giant therapeutic cleansing. It's like, you guys, Clay. Fraser said, just get over it. And you said, okay, I'll get over it. And it was done.
- [13:28]
Kelly
Meanwhile, he's sitting here talking about how while he's gotten over somebody betraying him because he got it out on the table while he's sitting there eating with somebody who just betrayed him. Rainbow. Also, I wish Rainbow had heard Kyle's confessional about his mom smacking him on the back of the head and telling him to get the fuck over it. She would have thought she would have been so triggered. I Know what that's like?
- [13:50]
Ben Mandelker
It's so hard.
- [13:54]
Kelly
So then we go to. Oh, he's just. Oh, now he's talking to Fraser, and he's like, oh, no. We just see the flashback to yesterday. I'm sorry. So then we go to Sylhain and Daimo, because she's got to get somebody back. You know, she's the bombshell. So she's like, with no sunshine, there's no rainbows, which isn't. I mean, I guess that's true, but that's not the saying, right? Like, it's got a rain.
- [14:20]
Ben Mandelker
I don't actually know the saying. Actually.
- [14:22]
Kelly
This is something like, it can't be rainbows without rain meaning, like, you know, once it's when the things are bad, then you know, that's when the rain.
- [14:30]
Ben Mandelker
There might be a rainbow. Yeah, that's a stupid saying, because it's kind of like the saying should really be like, when it rains. Sometimes, once in a while, rare enough that people stop and look at it, there's a rainbow, but usually there's not one. When shitty things happen, sometimes it's just a shitty thing and you have to deal with it.
- [14:49]
Kelly
Yeah. I just like to say, you know, sometimes great and all, but it also causes cancer. That's my thing. So when someone's, like, giving me toxic positivity.
- [14:59]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, yeah. Thunder always happens when it rains, you know? Is that the lyric?
- [15:06]
Kelly
Yeah. Thunder on my rains. Yeah. It's just. I needed a moment for the Fleetwood Mac sound sounds to kick into my head, and it was like. It was like coming to life, crawling up a. A hill, like, I'm coming. I'm coming to you.
- [15:31]
Ben Mandelker
By the way, that's a lie. I don't know where Fleetwood Mac have been living, but I'm just gonna say that right now. Sometimes when it rains, there's no thunder. I feel like there's just so many fallacies about all these. All these cute sayings about rain. I think songs lie is just rain.
- [15:44]
Kelly
Songs lie.
- [15:45]
Ben Mandelker
Songs lie.
- [15:46]
Kelly
Yeah. Songs are fucking liars. You know the biggest lying song that's ever been written?
- [15:51]
Ben Mandelker
What? The big lie.
- [16:00]
Kelly
Handsome fucking liars.
- [16:02]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [16:03]
Kelly
So she's like, what? No such Ain't got no rainbow. And he's like, tell me what happened with you and the girls today. And so they gossip about the girls kissing. And he's like, you don't like that? Just. No, me completely. I'm completely okay with everything. I just shortened eyebrows. I just saw them eyebrow a little bit. Oh, I'm fine with it. I don't care. I'm not bothered at all. Which is why I'm flirting with my 90th person on the boat. Attention, please. Give me attention.
- [16:26]
Ben Mandelker
I really like Jess, and I just really want people happy. But if she feels bad when she saw me kissing you, sounds bad. Like, you know, like, she likes me, but she's scared to like me more. And then I was like, so what does it happen to you a lot, people being scared to like you? She's like, no, because I'm hot. He's like, really? Because you don't think the same thing happened with Silly? She's like, oh, Steely. Oh, another person who broke up with me today. Okay, we really need to make up now. Make out.
- [16:52]
Kelly
Yeah. But still, he wasn't scared to like her. Stamo full of. So she's like, I don't like it. I feel like baby in street. Like, people don't doesn't want to look at this. I'm not like, yeah, this I don't like feeling. But of course I'm human. I have art, Big art, big art. But most of the time, I try to hide because if I look like I don't have heart, I'm rocking and stuff like that, people don't care. She's like explaining gray rocking. I like that she watched the season finale of Vanderpump Rules before she got on the boat. She's like, I'm like, rock, gray lock, gray. Baby pooped in the street.
- [17:27]
Ben Mandelker
She's like, baby poop. It's like if a baby ate a rock and pooped out the rock, that's what she would be.
- [17:32]
Kelly
What's going on in France that you all are just letting your babies shit.
- [17:36]
Ben Mandelker
All over the street?
- [17:37]
Kelly
I mean, come on now.
- [17:38]
Ben Mandelker
I just like how she's like. She's like, I just feel like baby pooping. The street. People just want to avoid me. She's like, I would like someone to step in me. I want someone to put their foot in the baby poop.
- [17:52]
Kelly
So then Damo is, what are you gonna do? She's like, I'm doing what the hell? So basically meaning I'm ignoring it. I'm just gonna continue being hot and wait to trap somebody else. So now Fraser announces that it's time to get out in 30 minutes. So Damo tells Cerlane that he's in love with her and he doesn't want her kissing Jess as Stilly anymore. And she's like, I don't trust you. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
- [18:27]
Ronnie Karam
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- [19:28]
Kelly
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- [19:29]
Ben Mandelker
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- [19:31]
Kelly
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Ben Mandelker
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- [19:45]
Kelly
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- [19:47]
Ben Mandelker
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- [19:52]
Kelly
Prices have to be the best.
- [19:54]
Ben Mandelker
So come to the Spring style event at your furniture superstore, Mathis Home.
- [20:02]
Kelly
So now it's time. Fraser reminds everybody to tip the gorgeous.
- [20:05]
Ben Mandelker
Waitress, which I thought, I thought it was gonna be a. They were setting up some drama. Like they were all pulling together the tips and someone's not gonna tip, and who's the one who's not gonna tip? And I can't believe this person didn't tip. And. No, no, they just. They just tipped a waitress. That's it.
- [20:22]
Kelly
Yeah. So then Selena still talking to Damo, and she's like, normally, I don't think. Yeah, well. But now I start to think that I want to be in trouble always. I don't know, I'm gonna be in trouble. And so they kiss and Anthony sees it and Jess sees it and Jess doesn't love it. And then Kyle's like, well, it sucks to be on the other end of this shit. Like, what the fuck? But he, more than anyone, was quite aware that I was a bit ticked off about the situation. These people are fucked. These people are fucked.
- [20:57]
Ben Mandelker
And they're like, making out in this pool. And then the camera widens up and we see that there's just a guy in, like, a T shirt in the pool just chilling next to them. And Fraser's like, these poor other tourists beside them are trying to have a good day. And meanwhile, they've got a pawn shoot and the guy's just hanging out while they're just, like, going to town right next to him. It's a pretty brilliant shot. So then Damo is saying, now they're doing this thing where he's like, am I gonna be in trouble? You know, but with Scottish. No, Scottish. I don't think he care. This is what they do. This. This is like a repeat thing that. Bravo, liberties especially, but like fuckboys, just like slutty people in general do, is that they do something shitty. And then they come slinking back to the person that they messed up with and are like, am I in trouble? Like, yes, you are. And don't think that you can come slinking in all cute and you're off the hook.
- [21:53]
Kelly
Yeah, but none of them are, because, I don't know, this is like a just big everybody makes out with everybody kind of a thing. And then the people with hurt feelings, those are like the people with, like, normal human feelings. And I think the rest of us are like, well, okay, that person has hurt feelings. Which means they are not completely traumatized. Too traumatized to have a relationship so perfect. I'll go for one of them.
- [22:18]
Ben Mandelker
So Hugo is just like, wow, it must be great to be bi. You can just have your cake and eat it too, mate. Yeah. And so they finally settle up with the bill, and they get into the cars. They're going to go back to their villa, because they actually weren't at their villa. They were somewhere el. At a day club. And then they're in the vans, and Barbara's like, guys, did you enjoy your day? What was your best part? And Jess is like, when I got to kiss you. So, you know, and then they start to make out in the back seat and they're just really going at it. And you're like, oh, okay, maybe this Jess and Barbara thing has legs and maybe it's going to happen.
- [22:50]
Kelly
So he goes giving Solane shit. He's like, so now you have three boyfriends, girl. He's like, you have three boyfriends now? She's like, no, no, zero baby poop street. And Rainbow's loving it, you know? She's like, what a beautifully ancestral crew. I'm so friends with everybody now. It's gonna go great.
- [23:08]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. You guys like me, right? Look, I'm doing the things that people do to have friends, right?
- [23:16]
Kelly
So like it's not a triangle, it's a square and it's like make it octagon. So they go to the villa and Damo comes to try to talk to Kyle. But Kyle doesn't really like him now because he's a shitty friend, you know? Right. So Damon's like, why are you running away from me, mate? He's like, I'm not running from ya. I'm running to get a drink, which is away from you. Thank God, you stinky piece of crap.
- [23:37]
Ben Mandelker
So then, Instagram wall. Damo, am I a bad friend? Probably. I kiss Elaine. I don't regret it though. But I don't know that. I don't know that I shouldn't have done it. But that being said, would Karlin this situation do anything different for me? I don't think so. Because right now I'm in a selfish period of my life. So I do shitty things to like patch my patch my mate's ex misses, even though I know it's going to upset him. I don't care. That you're in a selfish period of selfish period of your life means that you're going to, I don't know, not go out with your friends because you're gonna focus on like staying late at the job so that we can get ahead in your career. Selfish does not mean being shit to people. It's a big difference.
- [24:18]
Kelly
Oh well, it can mean it. But you know, he's like one of those people who's very self aware, so that makes it okay in his mind, like, well, okay, I'm being selfish, but I'm deciding to be selfish, so at least I'm. But that makes it worse because like you're willingly being a bad friend to somebody, you know?
- [24:35]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And you're gonna actually like wrap it up under the guise of some sort of weird self help thing. Like, like empowerment. Like I'm being selfish with myself right now. So if it means that like I'm going to shit on my friend who like I've built some sort of connection with and we live in the same room with, so be it. Because it's for my own self improvement. Like, go fuck yourself.
- [24:55]
Kelly
Yeah. So then Silane jumps into the pool and starts saying, look at me, I'm wet. I'm wet. I'm Marmalade. I'm Marmalade. Which.
- [25:10]
Ben Mandelker
Lady Marmalade.
- [25:13]
Kelly
Should be hilarious to me. But I'm like You kind of are. Marmalade because it's really pretty and you're supposed to want it, but I just never do. It's gross. It's like, gross. Just get me some grape jelly.
- [25:27]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. How do you rate between jam, jelly, marmalade, marmalade, and preserves? How do you rank them? Fuck Mary, kill, and kill again.
- [25:37]
Kelly
I would put it in the order you just gave, except put preserves third and marmalade last.
- [25:44]
Ben Mandelker
Marmalade is the one that gets really killed. Preserves is accidental kill. Marmalade is like, yeah, that was first degree homicide.
- [25:56]
Kelly
Marmalade is a little. Try hard.
- [25:58]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Although, I guess, I don't know, I do like orange marmalade also. It's funny because I say marmalade and.
- [26:05]
Kelly
You say marmalade just because Elaine just said it like that. So, you know, I'm sounding classy because I just heard it on tv.
- [26:12]
Ben Mandelker
It's classy. It's a day for classiness. You know, Bravo was nothing but classy last night. So. Yeah. So she's like. She's in this white dress, which is, of course, now completely see through because it's wet and she's, you know, super hot. And she's like, look at me. I'm Mama lot. I'm Mama Lot. And Jess has now got a lady boner. And, like, literally just foaming at the mouth. I'm surprised. There's, like. I'm shocked. There was not, like, a line of drool going from lips down to, like, the. The floor. She couldn't even hide the fact that she was in some sort of game that she was using Barbara as a pawn in. She just was looking at Solene. Yeah.
- [26:50]
Kelly
And Solene knows what she's doing. You know, she gets back in her white dress, jumps in the pool. So now she's all boobalicious. And, you know, of course, calling attention, like, look at me, I'm Mama La. And so Jess falls right for it, you know, like, goes towards the siren and crashes right into the rocks. And she goes up to her and she's like, are you wearing anything? She's like, no, you smell really good. Not even your perfume. You. You smell good. So now they make out, and Barbara's just watching this, like, yeah, I'm done. I'm done.
- [27:23]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [27:23]
Kelly
I was just thinking of all of the vegetables that I could plant by fall and pickle by spring for this woman. And already she's with Marmalade.
- [27:32]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. That was a quick turnaround. By the way, credit to Solan for some beautiful swimming Swimming moves.
- [27:38]
Kelly
I.
- [27:38]
Ben Mandelker
She had to have been on a swim team at some point. I mean, she was doing the butterfly, she's doing a beautiful backstroke. Her dive into the pool, she was really showing off a lot of talent there.
- [27:46]
Kelly
Maybe that's because eventually her ass is going to get thrown overboard. Yeah, she's trained.
- [27:52]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Barbara is not happy about this whatsoever. And she's telling Fraser. She's like, I'm done with Jess. Of course, Fraser was accomplice to this because he was the one who was like, barbara, I really think that you should be open to making out with Jess. She's into you. You should try it out. I mean, Fraser had to know that Jess was playing a game, too. Fraser was smart. He just wanted to create some mess on the boat, as usual.
- [28:16]
Kelly
I think he just wanted the girl to get some, you know, which. Which is good because Fraser's got a hardened little heart. You know, he's not going to be sitting around moping over Damo, but he's used to it. But Barbara's a sweet soul. She's not used to it, guys. She can't do this. So now it's 17 years until charter. 17 years later, sometimes 17 hours until charter. 7:02pm, Celine and Jess are still making out. Barbara's over it, and she's like, oh, if I'm into someone, I would never change my mind in less than one hour. At this point in my life, I don't have time. Like, I do not have time for this. Like, I have 17 hours till charter. Still not time. I don't have time. So Barbara's like, yeah, I'm gonna go change. So now it's raining, and now Sonlight's just full on. Topless.
- [29:03]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, just. Just topless. And then Jess is like, well, me telling Barbara that I just want to kiss her. It was in that moment, which is. I mean, talk about a bullshit line right there. It was just in that moment. That was my truth.
- [29:16]
Kelly
I was being honest for that moment. That is what I wanted right then.
- [29:20]
Ben Mandelker
I've been in three serious relationships since the age of 17, since I came out. And this is kind of my first time exploring. And I want to grow, I want to experiment and I want to feel these things. I mean, I look a little bit of a tosser right now, but I'm okay with that. Okay? You can explore and you can grow and experiment. Just don't do it, like, all at the same time, okay? Like, you're not in a multiverse. Pace it out. Don't do it. In front of other people. Just find a way to do it respectfully.
- [29:46]
Kelly
Yeah, you can do it. But don't just tell somebody. You're the only person here I want to kiss. Like, I've made up my mind. It's you. You.
- [29:54]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [29:54]
Kelly
You're the one I've been looking for this whole time. I've tried every sample in the Costco, and it's you chicken salad, you that I'm purchasing. And then go off and buy the tuna salad. The rude.
- [30:07]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, a hundred percent. It's. It's like, don't do the hard pitch like that. And then. Then switch it up.
- [30:13]
Kelly
Think about the sample person you just hurt. That was someone's papa.
- [30:17]
Ben Mandelker
It was. And think about the person who just was waiting in line. That was someone else's papa.
- [30:23]
Kelly
Yeah. So Damo is still trying with Kyle. He's like, are you sure we're good? And Kyle's like. He's just looking at him like. And he says, all is fair. All is fair. Which basically means all is fair in love and war. And Damo says, well, this ain't marriage loving. This ain't marriage, love and war. This is just about. And he's like, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It is. Yeah. It's all good. Yeah. If you just hurt your friend's feelings, then. No, it's not just about. You knew that. These people are terrible.
- [30:49]
Ben Mandelker
They really are. They're just garbage. I was like, jess is garbage. I was like, I liked Jess, but I'm like, oh, she's garbage, man. Another person added the garbage pile of the season. So then Damo's garbage, too. I was sort of liking Damo, but now I'm like, he's garbage. They're all really garbage.
- [31:06]
Kelly
I'm not to like Damo because of his highlights. So then Jess and Solene's room, they take a shower tonight and bone, basically, Right? Oh, is this where they bone? Maybe it's later.
- [31:18]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [31:18]
Kelly
Now they're talking about watches. Like, can I wear your watch? And Silane's like, absolutely not. She's like, too late. Because I feel like that's another step in our relationship.
- [31:29]
Ben Mandelker
So then they're, like, making dinner and everything, and they're cooking because they know that they don't care if they don't cook with Anthony, he's gonna lose his mind again.
- [31:39]
Kelly
Like, why is it?
- [31:40]
Ben Mandelker
Why does no one want to cook hot dog with me? Lam once again alone cooking hot dog. So Jess and Barbara are like, Setting the table. And Barb is, like, very awkward. Barbara's, like, not talking and she's like, I'm avoiding Jess because I don't even really want to be her friend now. Like, what do I have to say? I'm just so done with all this fucking drama. I don't need this. I don't need this. And it's like, I get that. It's like, why am I even gonna talk to you? Like, you've shown your true colors. Like, you're just a garbage person whose word I can't take. And you're manipulative and you use me in a pawn for your own gratification. Get out of my life.
- [32:13]
Kelly
And you can tell Barbara is really pissed because she's putting down plates in the most passive aggressive way ever. She's, like holding a stack of plates and then she's like lifting them and dropping them on the place and then dropping the bottom one and then lifting them again and moving to the next place and dropping. It's like very slow. It's like a. It's like a very passive aggressive construction arm that's just like.
- [32:39]
Ben Mandelker
You really feel the negative space in air. No words being spoken.
- [32:47]
Kelly
Drop right while she won't.
- [32:48]
Ben Mandelker
Just a mechanical cold plates going down with no love or affection. Just in their most robotic sense.
- [32:55]
Kelly
Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna bow your head and listen to my conveyor belt. Drop these plates for one hour and a half. It's gonna take me to drop these plates. And you can just stew in it. Think about the garden you were about to have.
- [33:09]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
- [33:09]
Kelly
So Fraser is like, ladies and gentlemen, dinner is ready. Okay. This is something that's just like a little thing, but Fraser at the. At the Isle of Poo Seisay or wherever they just were at the club, was announcing to everybody, like, we're leaving a tip for the gorgeous waiter. It's like he's one of those people who announces so he can take credit for the tip even though he's not gonna leave the tip. And now he's doing that thing where he's like doing the announcement for the dinner, which he didn't make. You know, he's just a. He's a credit stealer there, I'm saying.
- [33:43]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. Wow. I never thought of that before with Fraser, but that's definitely something to flag and keep an eye on.
- [33:49]
Kelly
He's like a manners clout stealer.
- [33:53]
Ben Mandelker
Wow. Everyone's worst side is coming out today.
- [33:58]
Kelly
Yeah. So they're talking about how Solene is kissing Jess at the Table. And how they already banged in the shower today. And Fraser was like, they were both in the shower. And Jess was like, we were just chatting like nothing was happening, which we know is a lie because we have sound effects.
- [34:15]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, we heard the sounds. We heard the mama lad. So Jess is like. I mean, so. So is my kryptonite. I'm attracted to her. I know we have feelings for each other, and I love the excitement that I have with her. You're so addicted to the good parts. Keeps you hooked. Yeah. Well, enjoy it now, because my prediction is that Stilly gets fired for sleeping with the guests, and they bring in Dylan, Soso's ex, to take a spot, and then Soso goes back with him and Jess, you're left in the dust, and all you have there is the shadow of Barbara that you can make out with.
- [34:47]
Kelly
You think that's gonna happen?
- [34:49]
Ben Mandelker
I've decided that's my theory. I was like, they've shown Dylan way too many times in the flashbacks that it just has to be a setup for him coming onto the show.
- [34:57]
Kelly
Ew, gross.
- [34:58]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I'm sorry.
- [35:00]
Kelly
Now it's. They finish dinner and they go back to their rooms, and Barbara is. Goes out into the beach chair, and Jess joins her. And Barbara's just sitting there, like, awesome. So Jess is like, so, how was your day? And Celine says, I kiss Barbara. No, I don't kiss Barbara. But night is not finished. Night is not finished. I mom a lot. So Kyle is sleeping naked on the bed. And Damo's like, yeah, people can't do it this long, drinking. And Hugo's like, um, I know. He actually wasn't as wild as I thought he was gonna be. Look at him sleeping. That's crazy. I'm glad Hugo got to say something today. Or guy.
- [35:40]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Also, Hugo made maybe he hasn't seen last season because Kyle will definitely get wasted. But the thing is, he's like, sad Kyle right now. So sad Kyle just wants to drink and go to sleep, as opposed to happy Kyle, who wants a drink and then go running around the entire, you know, resort. So that's all that was. But I love that this entire scene happened with, like, Damo and Hugo having an entire conversation. And Kyle is, like, full on, just naked on that bed. And they put, like, a little, like. They put some drawers on, like, over his dick to hide it. But, like, Kyle's, like, flopping over and whatever. But, like, in the background, just like, Kyle just. Just. Just passed out in the. In the buff while they're just having a Conversation.
- [36:18]
Kelly
Yeah. So Damo says, well, he was loyal to Stilly, but he's not a good friend. And he was in deep, deep at the start. And then Jess has come all along, and that's not so bad. And Hugo's like, wow, they have a great boyfriend, you know, like a great bromance. I hate to see it end like this, you know, I mean, it's messing up bro code. So he's like, yeah, if everything is whatever I fucking want, it's gonna end up fucking. Fucking in a lot of fucking tears. Fuck. I couldn't say that when I was younger, so I'm gonna say it a lot right now.
- [36:51]
Ben Mandelker
So then Jess and Silane decide to take yet another shower. So maybe that's why there was confusion, because they took a shower before and they take another shower.
- [36:59]
Kelly
Oh, oh, oh. Y. Okay.
- [37:01]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Barbara while they're doing that, Barbara is like. You know, to be honest, I don't know what's going on with Jess because I think that everything she said to me, nothing was true. Her behavior was completely different than what. What she say. And I would never involve someone in my mess. I feel sad because I don't really even want to speak with Jess anymore. Like, I can't even be friends with someone that fucked with other people. Like, you know, I would. Like, that's the problem. That's the problem. I just don't like the feeling. I just don't like how I'm feeling right now. And then she starts to cry, and I'm so mad at Jess for making our sweet Barbara cry.
- [37:29]
Kelly
Yeah. And so then it's a mess. Everything's a mess. It's usual. The kitchen's a mess, there's alcohol bottles everywhere. And now it's time to go back. And Fraser's like, I didn't wear any underwear this weekend, everybody.
- [37:46]
Ben Mandelker
So then demo is they're all excited to get back to work. They're driving back to work, and they're all, like, hungover, and they're just, like, tired and yawning. And Captain Kerry's like, good day, mate. What was the place like? You guys have a fun time? You guys all bang each other and they're like. Fraser's, like, stunning. We got to the point yesterday where people just naturally stopped drinking and in some cases, started whining like a little baby and accusing me of causing them their job. I don't know who that was, but it happened with some people.
- [38:14]
Kelly
A lot of talk about how parents have ruined adult lives. Well, all right. Well, guests are arriving at noon. We're leaving here. One or two o', clock, depending on the bridge. All right, interior. Let's meet in the primary to discuss the next. Next charter deck team. We're doing it in the other place because this below deck is different. All right, let's have two separate meetings talking about the same thing. Do it. Instagram rules.
- [38:38]
Ben Mandelker
So we meet this group, our co primaries. Helen owns a lingerie company and Richard is a semi retired real estate investor. So we see the. The. We've had these people on before. I don't remember them at all, to be honest. They just were strange people in big black wigs.
- [38:59]
Kelly
Yeah, I didn't really remember them either, but I knew when we heard the description it was going to be an extremely old person with someone that you don't ever want to see in lingerie.
- [39:10]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yep, That's.
- [39:12]
Kelly
He's like, they're coming. And they're used to being on yachts, which also means they're probably terrible. So yes, we see flashbacks of them. And even the flashbacks, I didn't really remember anything. So Fraser keeps reading that the additional guest, Michelle, a podcast red carpet host, and Kelly Michelle, a podcast red carpet host. Is that a thing? What does that mean? Like she hosts, she goes to red carpets for podcasts or she works podcast red carpet events.
- [39:43]
Ben Mandelker
Does. Do other podcasts have a red carpet before they start recording? She's like, welcome. Oh my God, Ben and Ronnie, you're about to do your 10,015th show and you're talking about Below Deck for the 6,700th time. What are you feeling today before you sit down?
- [40:03]
Kelly
Here comes Bueller, ready to sit at his father's feet until he hears the magic words, we'll see you next time, everybody. And starts begging for food. Bueller, what are you wearing? And how do you shed so much?
- [40:17]
Ben Mandelker
That's it. It's just like some people. Just have a step and repeat. Just ready to go.
- [40:21]
Kelly
Bueller. Bueller, before you go in, what does your poop smell like? You seem to want to smell it every single time you're outside. What is it like? Can I ask you, why do you pretend to bury your poop but it's all an act? You don't actually kick up any sand or make a hole. You just kind of kick the air and then snort like you did something positive for the country. Why do you do that? Being an actual royal is never about finding your happy ending. But the worst part is if they step out of line or fall in.
- [41:02]
Ben Mandelker
Love with the wrong person, it Changes.
- [41:04]
Ronnie Karam
The course of history.
- [41:07]
Kelly
I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.
- [41:09]
Ronnie Karam
And I'm Brooke Siffrin.
- [41:10]
Kelly
We've been telling the stories of the rich and famous on the hit Wondery Show. Show Even the Rich. And talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich and daily.
- [41:17]
Ben Mandelker
We're going all over the world on.
- [41:19]
Kelly
Our new show, Even the Royals.
- [41:22]
Ronnie Karam
We'll be diving headfirst into the lives of the world's kings, queens and all the wannabes in their orbit throughout history. Think succession meets the crown meets real life.
- [41:31]
Kelly
We're going to pull back the gilded curtain and show how royal status might be bright and shiny, but it comes at the expense of, well, everything else, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head.
- [41:43]
Ben Mandelker
Follow even the royals on the Wondery.
- [41:45]
Kelly
App or wherever you get your podcasts you can listen to even the royals.
- [41:48]
Ben Mandelker
Early and ad free right now by joining Wondery.
- [41:54]
Kelly
It's your man, Nick Cannon and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y' all been needing some advice in the love department, so who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy. And you know what? You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery plus right now.
- [42:53]
Ben Mandelker
Then we also know that there's someone named Kelly, a corporate flight attendant. I did not remember this detail about Kelly. So she works in hospitality basically and she acts a fool this entire episode, which is kind of amazing.
- [43:10]
Kelly
Flight attendant. It kind of explains what's going on with the airlines lately. Did you read that you were just talking about Delta fucking you over on the bonus episode? Did you read that a Delta pilot was arrested the next day they came onto a flight and arrested him off of the flight and took him off. So there was another concert missed.
- [43:31]
Ben Mandelker
My Delta flight was abruptly canceled because there was no Pilot. Was my pilot arrested? What sort of criminals does Delta.
- [43:39]
Kelly
This did happen on Saturday. This did happen on Saturday. So I was wondering if that was the same flight. Yeah, I was wondering if it was the same thing. It was in San Francisco, but I'm wondering if that was a flight that could have been coming to LA.
- [43:51]
Ben Mandelker
That could have been that 100% could have been a thing.
- [43:56]
Kelly
Yeah. At first I thought it couldn't be Ben, because that would have been Friday, but I was in Vegas on Friday to see Beyonce. You were not there, so that was. That would have been Saturday to you. Look, Beyonce's like, how do you prove of that?
- [44:07]
Ben Mandelker
I'm so mad. He was arrested just after 9:30pm you know, that's unfortunate. That would have been really cool if I could have attached myself to a national story, you know, it's my favorite thing in the world to do. My craven, Craven self involved soul always needs that. And I. Alas. Although maybe looking at the details of this case, maybe not such a bad thing to not be attached to this because this guy was arrested for some really heinous things, it turns out, so.
- [44:35]
Kelly
Oh, I didn't even read. They didn't even say what he was arrested for in the article I read.
- [44:39]
Ben Mandelker
Like child sex abuse.
- [44:42]
Kelly
Oh, geez.
- [44:44]
Ben Mandelker
You know what? I'm. Never mind. I will stay away from that one.
- [44:47]
Kelly
Jeez. And they just. They just fired so many people from the airline industry, didn't they? I mean, like, can we filter who? I mean, what the hell?
- [44:56]
Ben Mandelker
Seems like it. Based on the fact that there were no pilots to take me to Vegas and I had to.
- [45:01]
Kelly
Geez, God, I wish you'd. I wish they'd put you on a plane with Kelly, the corporate flight attendant. Democrats. Democrats. So, Captain Carrie, you don't get to.
- [45:12]
Ben Mandelker
Tell me who gets to have tomato juice first. Okay? So I decide. You guys are no fun. You are no fun in this plane.
- [45:20]
Kelly
So Captain Cary tells everybody they're gonna have a beach picnic and then they're gonna go to the Dutch side, the French side, the Orion Bay, the Grand. The grand case. All these places and they bring in all the toys out. All the toys. Then there's a beach picnic. Beautiful beaches. The French side has nude beaches, which nobody needs to see. Any of these people. Nude. None of them. Okay, Keep them on the boat for achieve, for Christ's sake. The nude beaches need to start getting a scanner or something and scan the yachts before they let them land.
- [45:54]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, for dinner. The primary wants a cowboy theme because, I mean, what else would you get when you go down to the Caribbean. And then Captain Carrie. Yeah. They're just. He's like, they're gonna have a lingerie dinner, too. So that's something to look forward to. A true adventure. And so then they're looking at all the pictures, and Captain Carrie's like. Like, all right. He's going to be the problem child of this trip. And Barbara's like, kelly. She's like, why is that? Because she wears pink lipstick. It's not good. But also my.
- [46:22]
Kelly
My spirit animal. I love that she can do that. That's a talent. Or you can just look at someone and know they're awful because of their terrible lipstick.
- [46:30]
Ben Mandelker
I mean, that's one right there. That's. It was very impressive that she picked that out. And then they showed Barbara's. I'm sorry, Kelly's preference sheet. And it was just funny because everything she wanted was pasta. It was like, what do you want for breakfast? Pasta, lunch? Pasta? What are your preferences? Pasta, snacks, pasta? You allergic to anything? I'm allergic to everything but pasta. If she made it to the cowboy dinner, I guarantee she would have complained that there was no pasta at it. Whatever happened to the days of a spaghetti western? Am I right? That's the sort of cowboy I want.
- [47:03]
Kelly
Oh, wait, I found something different. At least one thing different. They said, what do you like for dessert? And she says, gays out of the military. So that was nice. Change it up a little bit.
- [47:14]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, that'd be the cherry on top of the sundae. Really?
- [47:17]
Kelly
So Barbara and Fraser are making a bed. And Fraser's like, so I've got a question, genuinely. Did anyone hear when I said I didn't have underwear on? Because that should have been a more titillating moment than it was.
- [47:31]
Ben Mandelker
But, Barbara, I just want to make sure you're okay. And I want to remind you that Jess treated you like a discarded piece of baloney that someone left on the floor of the supermarket. A poor person, indeed. Do you feel okay? She's like.
- [47:45]
Kelly
She says she's just depressed because she has to work as Nothing to do with the girl. And he's like, well, but then what did you chat about in the pool then? What was that about? Wouldn't that make you cry? Are you sure you don't want to cry? Hold on, let me get out my phone. Videos. Rolling. Videos. Rolling. Portrait mode. Focused on you. Focused on you.
- [48:04]
Ben Mandelker
She said that she thought that there was something between us, but then she went and did whatever she wants to do. Whatever she wants to do. Okay. Do you want to say that again with a bit more, I don't know, tears in your eyes? Okay, just think about how excited you were and then how disappointed you were. Say it again.
- [48:18]
Kelly
Now. Are you sure there's nothing more you can express that I can put into this little vial? I'm collecting misery from anyone around me to drink when I'm feeling down. Please, please think about how you almost had it all. Couldn't I almost had it all? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Life worth living. Oh, God. All right, I'll just keep the vial over here. I'll just call. I'll suggest Anthony's gained some weight or something.
- [48:50]
Ben Mandelker
He has so much misery to give. So Fraser's like, I just feel shitty for Barbara. And by shitty, I mean I'm sort of laughing. It's kind of funny if you think about it. I just don't know what Jess's game plan here is. Why would she go and tell Barbara she's into her if she clearly isn't? I don't want to get involved, but I don't think it's cute from Jess or so. Not one bit. So you know what I'm going to do? Get involved.
- [49:15]
Kelly
I just don't want anyone to get hurt without me there to watch. Do you understand? And she's like, well, exactly. I'll speak with Jessica is protect yourself. Protect yourself, honey. So now everyone's tired, but still getting their work done. And Fraser next hits up Solane, and, you know, she's like, oh, the time that I have to. I don't know, maybe it will take me this time. Maybe it will take me that time. I don't know. Well, how should I know how long it will take? I don't know. And it's like 15 minute. Yeah, to finish all of this. And then you go down and check. Ah, your French accent is very bad, huh?
- [49:53]
Ben Mandelker
He's like, well, so your English accent is incredible, by the way. See? Tit for tat. So then Barbara goes, pulls Jess to have a conversation, and Anthony's telling Carrie. He's like, let's smash this chart on and go home. Will you stay and cook hot dogs with me in the galley? He's like, no, man not have to drive the boat. You can make the hot dogs on your own. But hey, just as a reminder, this time last year, you're fired. Fraser getting here with your vial of tears. He's shedding some right now.
- [50:26]
Kelly
Oh, I was just thinking that. But thank God this time everything is going good, huh? I'm doing so good. It's about to go to sir. Let's hope. Because that's always when it goes to. So someone's like, finally, I have everything figured out. So now Barbara goes to talk to Jess. She pulls Jess aside, and Jess is like, am I in trouble? And she says, you know, like, I'm not the kind of person who wants to hurt people. I am friends with people. Cause I want to take care of them and be nice to them. And you came up to me and said you wanted to be with me. And then you made out with someone else, which was super fucked up. And Jess is like, ugh. Well, yeah. And she's like, yeah, so I'm upset. So I'm talking to you. And she's like, well, I don't know, because I did feel something, but maybe I should have. Shouldn't have acted on it because I was with so. So. No, you acted on it because so. So flirted with somebody else. And you also wanted to have somebody to flirt against her, with, which Barbara called you out for in the first place, which you denied. So this makes it, like, double as bad that you're pulling this shit.
- [51:40]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Barbara's like, well, you know, feel free to kiss anyone. Just I don't want to be the one. Like, it's just. It's fun, but, like, it's not my vibe what you're doing. And Jess is like, I respect that. And I'm sorry I put you in that position. And not just you, but both of you guys. And then she tells us, I've definitely gone in a bit over my head because I want the best of both worlds, but you can't really do that. So I realized now I've actually hurt this person. Like, you don't want the best of both worlds. You want one world, and you're going to use the other world to make the other world jealous. That's it.
- [52:11]
Kelly
So then Jess apologizes, and Barbara's like, okay, I mean, whatever. It is what it is. I'm going back to laundry. This job. So Rainbow is trying to help Celine. She's like, do you need pineapple juice behind the bar? She goes, sully, pineapple juice behind the bar. I still have three. But if you don't want. Do whatever you want. I don't care. You want me to clean bathroom night? Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not one in the morning. I'm not going to sleep.
- [52:37]
Ben Mandelker
So everybody's like, okay, it's fine. As long as you're stocked, everything's fine. Everything's fine. And she, like, walks out the room and Frasier's like, like, you're doing good, Rainbow. You're doing good. Feel the rage. Feel the anger. Now I'm just going to put this vial right up to your eyeball. Don't you worry one bit.
- [52:54]
Kelly
But then Rainbow tells us. She's like, oh, yeah? Well, you tell me you don't give a fuck about me. Well, guess what? Now I don't give a fuck about you. You want to fuck with me? You're about to see what you're going to get. I was like, wow, you really showed her by offering to get her pineapple juice. And I'm walking away cheerfully. The Rainbow revenge. Are you sure you don't want any pineapple juice? Okay, just call me if you need me. Okay? You've got my number, right?
- [53:19]
Ben Mandelker
She really put her in her place. She really showed her who's the boss. She was the queen of that island in Holland. So then Fraser and Carrie do like a walkthrough to make sure everything is clean. And they're doting on things. Whatever. Carrie's like, give this a rinse. You doubt that? Make a nice. Swap that one down or have an adventure over there. Great. And now it's 10 minutes of guest arrival changing into their uniforms. And Fraser's hoping that everyone's gonna be fun, but we all know they line up.
- [53:54]
Kelly
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Call the entire staff down here. Get the French police. There's a handprint on this glass. It's like, all right, done.
- [54:04]
Ben Mandelker
Adventure. So the guests walk up in their, like, Kardashian wigs. It feels like they, they were like, oh, Kardashians are a thing. And they like, sort of like leaned into it in 2017 and just like stayed there. So they're, they're walking up like, wow, what a beautiful day in the neighborhood, right? Oh, my God. And Kelly, the star of the show, is like, I need some champagne. Okay, can these Democrats fill up my glass already? What the fuck is going on around here?
- [54:32]
Kelly
And Helen, who's not Helen, I guess, is the lingerie lady, right? Which one is the podcast red carpet host? She's the one. I really need to know who she is. I don't know, but London, she's like, in London, they call it Go Go Juice. And one of the guys is like, oh, God, I hope they got ibuprofen, because you're gonna need it. Jesus Christ. There's one who's just in such a bad mood the whole time. I'm guessing the old semi retired guy and he's hilarious.
- [54:58]
Ben Mandelker
Yes, well, it's funny because they're all like, New York, New Jersey. They have the thickest accents. But there's like one guy, it seems like there's like a gay guy from, like, the south who is. Yeah, there's a nude. And he just berates Kelly the entire time, which is hilarious. He's sort of like low key. Also the star of the show, and I feel like he doesn't get enough credit.
- [55:16]
Kelly
Yeah. So they come up and Helen's like, these are my dear friends. We're on vacation, but we do all work together in retail lingerie. What a gorgeous crow. Oh, yeah, they're gorgeous. Well, thank you very much for that. Welcome to Sonny St. Martin. Here's your chief Stew stick up the ass himself. He's such a stick up the ass. He is the stick that goes up the ass. It's Fraser, right. He'll show you around.
- [55:46]
Ben Mandelker
So they. He gives the tour and everything. He takes them all around. He takes him to the bar and he's like, this is Barbara. She just got dumped by a slutty lady downstairs, and she will be serving you drinks. And Helen's like, well, Barbara's gonna be my new friend. Okay, this is our main saloon. This is where I think Kelly will probably pass out multiple times on the charter here. And it does get very hot, so don't worry about that.
- [56:12]
Kelly
Oh, look, everybody, I got Go Go Juice. I got Go Go Juice. That's what they call in London.
- [56:19]
Ben Mandelker
It's actually not a thing. But as the British person here, I'll say that's not a thing. But I'm contractually obligated to agree with everything you say. So enjoy your Go Go Juice.
- [56:27]
Kelly
All right, so this is the sad lesbian salon. If you ever want to come up here and have some Go Go juice while you watch a sad lesbian do sad lesbian things, Planting gardens that will never grow. This is where you go. Everybody understand? Barbara, do not move. Do not move. And Barbara's like, I have not a good feeling. I don't know. I hate judge people by their look, but they look like Adam family. There's something dark, there's something not nice.
- [56:55]
Ben Mandelker
The Adams family people are very nice. So Helen is like, you know, you're gonna have a problem with us because we're all from New York and we talk so much. It's terrible. Surface is like, yes, I agree, but I didn't have to articulate that. So here's your cabins, life vests. And Kelly's like, well, we don't need those.
- [57:13]
Kelly
We're just gonna throw each other overboard. It's Kelly. Monster Kelly. Say we all need those. I don't care about no life vest. He's like, okay, well, here's your hot tub, Otherwise known as 13 stews loads which have been blown over the past three days at each other. So it's of prime importance when we're moving that we are not out on our decks, all right? It's dangerous for you guys, it's dangerous for us. The space you're allowed. Sad lesbian salon. Do you understand?
- [57:45]
Ben Mandelker
So just to repeat, if we are leaving the dock, these decks you're not allowed to walk on. You can. Can't go by the hot tub. You stand in that space there. Got it? So when we're leaving the deck, we just really. We're gonna go everywhere we walk anywhere we want. That's actually the time when they say, go hide in some place and talk to anyone you see on a deck. Got it? Got it.
- [58:07]
Kelly
So now the anchor is being lifted, and Helen's regaling her friends with her fabulous tales of what it's like to be. She's like, we had a day from hell yesterday. Every time I go through tsa, I get pulled off the line. They must think I look like a drug mule or something, because every time I'm here, they pull me off the line. You look like you've got, like, 8 kilos in your lips alone. Yes. You look like a mule. You look like the guy from Mask trying to bring over, like, an entire country's worth of drugs. What is wrong? What happened to you? What happened to you?
- [58:39]
Ben Mandelker
I mean, she's like. She's like, why do they make me look like I'm a mob wife? I'm like, because you look like Big Angie.
- [58:45]
Kelly
Literally. No, not Big Angie. What's the other one? Well, yeah, I guess she is. She is kind of a cross between Big Ange and. What's the other one's name?
- [58:54]
Ben Mandelker
The main size Ange. Compact Ange.
- [59:02]
Kelly
But I just love Big Ang, so it's hard for me, Rip. But yeah, they are similar looks. So now one of the guys is trying to go upstairs, and he goes like, just check what deck that guy's trying to sit on, please. And Carrie's like, what's going on, Fraser? We've got guests on deck here. And he's like, oh, stand by. Coming up. I was making more sad lesbian signage. So Richard comes up, and he just goes right up to Captain Cary. He's like, yeah, what's going on? You Got a steering wheel? It's like a fucking cow. How? It's like a car. You. Can I play with it? Yeah, it's good. Is this thing a stick shift?
- [59:43]
Ben Mandelker
Mate, I can't really talk right now to put this. Focus on this. Don't want to crash this boat. Don't want to. Captain Gl it up. So. Yeah, you don't have to. Oh, that's nice to show me.
- [59:52]
Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this. This is my dick. You got any dick pics?
- [59:55]
Ben Mandelker
This is mine on the boat.
- [59:58]
Kelly
Look. Big.
- [59:59]
Ben Mandelker
Come on. Yeah, yeah, we're just gonna. Just focus on driving.
- [60:02]
Kelly
All right. What kind of. What card am I holding in my hand? Okay, I can guess the card you picked. Okay.
- [60:07]
Ben Mandelker
Seven diamonds. Or I'm just gonna. I just don't want to crush the boat.
- [60:10]
Kelly
Here, you get the king. You guessed my dick. Look, all right, it's my dick. It's my dick on a card.
- [60:16]
Ben Mandelker
I just do it. Oh, I'm gonna have a little adventure here. And so you can just go downstairs if you want, if you don't mind, mate.
- [60:24]
Kelly
All right, I gotta go downstairs and. Jesus. Try to be nice to someone. God. So Hugo is like, yeah, yeah. Guys, when we're moving the boat, you. You can't be on the decks. Okay? Got you go up there. So they're already a shit show. So then Captain Claire, you know, and now. These people are terrible.
- [60:48]
Ben Mandelker
They were just told now a second ago, don't, like, don't be on the deck. Like, when the boat is leaving, you have to be. You have to stand here and they just go. Want all of them to start go wandering around with no, you know, just no. No regard for what the instructions were. And this is just. People are terrible. They do this all the time. It's not just these people. It's everyone. Everyone does this all the time in all places.
- [61:11]
Kelly
So now you've got crew trying to get them off the deck, but it's also time to go through that terrifying bridge. And so the captain's waiting for things to call, but Hugo's trying to keep the people in line. And so it's like, I need communication on deck. I need communication. I need correct calls. If they're focusing on the deck, the crew instead of the deck. Oh, the vessel's affected. I'm getting frustrated.
- [61:41]
Ben Mandelker
I saw this really as a Fraser fail because I feel like that this is like the moment when the deck crew has to really be focused. And it should be like, interior, who should be wrangling all the guests together.
- [61:51]
Kelly
Yeah, well, Someone, Geez, someone needs to, apparently. So Captain Carrie's like, oh, come on, focus. We're a beast dick away from that bridge.
- [62:02]
Ben Mandelker
The bee is like, excuse you, I am very well endowed.
- [62:06]
Kelly
The bee's like, you got plenty of room, kids, plenty of room.
- [62:09]
Ben Mandelker
All right?
- [62:14]
Kelly
So don't call me Donk B for nothing, huh?
- [62:20]
Ben Mandelker
You see all these bees around here? Those are my kids. Don't come from a small dick.
- [62:25]
Kelly
A.
- [62:27]
Ben Mandelker
I'm like, well, I'm kind of a 1B kind of man, though, I'm not gonna lie. So they. But guess what? After all this drama, they make it through the. They make it through the bridge. I mean, we all knew it'd be fine, but I was still with stress.
- [62:37]
Kelly
Do we? Because don't we see the boat crashing into the bridge in the preview? Didn't we see a crash this season? Or was that in my mind?
- [62:44]
Ben Mandelker
I don't know. Maybe I just think that I was still stressed because on principle, I just was so angry at these people for just wandering around like a bunch of jellyfish on a boat. Just stupid. So they make it through. And Carry is really mad. He's really, really bad. So he calls up, he calls up, he calls a meeting with Fraser and Hugo. He's like, I can't get on the dick when I'm going to the bridge. I'm fucking livid, alright? I need every answer, focus. You see them on the dock, then the deck. Get him off. Not like that though, okay, Fraser, stop looking so excited. I keep asking for distance to clear, okay? So I don't know what's going on back there, all right, don't do it again.
- [63:25]
Kelly
I like when Fraser gets into a meeting and told off because he just goes, mm, mm, mm, yes, mm. Okay. He's like, I'll let you get over whatever this is that you're doing right now. Just go ahead, get it out of your system. Inside my head, I have the Girl from Ipanema playing. All right, so just do whatever you need to do, right?
- [63:46]
Ben Mandelker
The only one who truly terrified him was Captain Sandy because she really got to him. She's like, you know what evil? The snake rots from the head. And right now you're the head of the snake. You did not like that at all.
- [64:02]
Kelly
He didn't. That was one of Sandy's greatest moments though, because she called it right away.
- [64:09]
Ben Mandelker
So. She really did.
- [64:11]
Kelly
She called that one right away. And the rest of below deck production was like, yeah, we don't produce your below deck. You're not in charge here. So we're going to make Fraser our star for the next 10 years. Years. Okay. Thanks for your advice though, Sandy. Fraser, at some point, could you please create the sad lesbian salon? Great.
- [64:33]
Ben Mandelker
So, yeah, Captain Carrie's saying that when it comes to safety, there's no nice score. Okay? I need my crew to pay attention. He's doing this whole thing. So then he's really going on. He's really. He's really. He's. He's really steaming mad. He's like a freaking moment of losing concentration. I'm hitting that bridge. So that's why I need everyone to be in line. Okay.
- [64:54]
Kelly
All right.
- [64:54]
Ben Mandelker
Fraser, are you listening? Why are you doing a little. Little samba dance? I don't understand what's happening with you over there.
- [64:59]
Kelly
Well, I'm just doing that because you said one of the crew members could get hurt or mimed, so mind. Mind, Fraser. Mind. Not mimed. You can stop miming now. Same thing. You're just saying the same thing over. And so then we go down to the guess and they're hanging out at the bar and one of them's like, domingo, Domenico is single. Just so everyone knows. He's Italian, he's hardworking, he's handsome, he's my brother in law. We're sleeping in the same bed.
- [65:28]
Ben Mandelker
So what an arc. So then Hugo is telling everyone that captain's pissed off about all the guests wandering around. And then one of the guests is saying how he needs a back massage. And Kelly's like, oh, my God, let.
- [65:47]
Kelly
Me cry in a picture. Pour me another drink. Pour me another drink. This guy's working so hard. Am I right? Pour me a drink.
- [65:56]
Ben Mandelker
Well, sorry, Kelly, I don't drive around and drink everywhere. I actually work.
- [66:02]
Kelly
Oh, yeah, pour me another drink. My favorite drink is the next drink, whatever it is, and goes, yeah, anything without your favorite drink.
- [66:10]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Helen is like. She's single, by the way. Shocker. What a shocker.
- [66:18]
Kelly
And Dame was like, fantastic. So am I. Oh, yeah. How old are you? He's like 32. She says, My daughter's 32. I can't, I can't. Come on, come on.
- [66:29]
Ben Mandelker
So they. They drop anchor and everything. And Anthony tells us that he's going to be making something with Mediterranean influence because Instagram wall. He grew up in France, but his.
- [66:40]
Kelly
I'm sorry to interrupt this Instagram, but can I have some champagne?
- [66:49]
Ben Mandelker
I am talking about all my. My grandmother was Italian. She's Italian. Italian. Can we do the banana bowl?
- [67:07]
Kelly
So Jess is gonna put it out for her and then one of the guests is like. Because they're trying to eat now and Kelly's just shit faced and she's like, I don't wanna eat nothing. I want champagne. I don't want anything. All I want to eat is liquor. That's all you should give me because I don't want nothing else. So don't even try to give me this crap. What is this? A bunch of crap? What is it? What are you trying to poison me with crap? I want food. I want liquor and not food.
- [67:36]
Ben Mandelker
Her hair is like all messed up. She's one of those drunk people that the moment they start to get drunk, their hair just gets crazy. And I don't even know how that happens. Like, how. How does that happen with certain people? Like, they could have like perfectly nice hair and then they have one drink and it's like. And it's all off. She has stuff in it. There's something shiny. I don't know if that was like a tassel or if it was food or if it was both. But she's always off of her head.
- [68:00]
Kelly
We're like, when did they serve spaghetti, man? I don't like nothing regular drinks. This is stupid. Eating is stupid and I'm not gonna do it. I don't care who talks about it.
- [68:15]
Ben Mandelker
And then she starts fiddling with the centerpiece. It's like, why do drunk people like to fiddle with things?
- [68:21]
Kelly
Also they love that she starts fighting with the guys. Because one of the guys like, Kelly, if you drink less, we can enjoy everything. Hey, I talk about whatever I want. Whatever I want. And with no explanations, buddy. All right. Do whatever the I want. Do you want to want to talk about drinking? Yeah, I banabo.
- [68:46]
Ben Mandelker
I like the banabo and the banana. That's what I'm going to talk about. Yeah.
- [68:50]
Kelly
He's like, shut up, Kelly, you're embarrassing. So she starts picking up the center feats and trying to throw it, but she can't figure out how to pick it up because it's like. It's like got pearl strings or something on his hand. Hey, I picked this stupid thing up. You don't even make things. I can pick up and throw this, but women supposed to eat this too. Bring me some alcohol. I hate these Daniels.
- [69:14]
Ben Mandelker
I hate these people centerpiece. You can't even eat banana bowl. You can't even get on. What's even the point of coming out of that?
- [69:22]
Kelly
So Rainbow's like, she is so wasted. Like shit face. Like she had to be chugging bottles of champagne in the tax. Like she's on the spaceship to the moon. Banana bub, banana bub ba ba ba ma ma ma baba ba mama ba mama.
- [69:43]
Ben Mandelker
Rainbow's like, I am going to tell her, no, ma', am, no more. Would you like another drink?
- [69:49]
Kelly
Okay, I'm going to speak to Captain. So Fraser goes up and he's like, captain, Kelly's asking for more champagne, but she can barely hold her glass. And he's like, all right, we'll keep an eye on her, maybe say her. Would you like some sparkling water for the next glass? I think you'll appreciate it tomorrow if we do. Copy that. Copy that. That's gonna totally work. Meanwhile, Kelly's like, I hate this place. Can I get some champagne? What a horrible place. What am I at Alibaba's? Why am I in Alibaba? Where they put the terrorism people? It is ridiculous. I'm on champagne. I could drink my fist right now. In fact, watch me. Oh, my feet made me have my salary. Bear gave me some champagne. I hate you.
- [70:33]
Ben Mandelker
You people are wasting my time. So. So she leaves the table and she starts stumbling over to the. To the. To go do water toys. Because also, they're drunk people. They just can't sit still. I don't know why. I feel like if when I get drunk, I love sitting still. At least I think I do. I guess I shouldn't really talk about that because I only have my perspective from being the drunk person, not the other people who are watching me being drunk who are like, man, you get up and you move all over the place. Place.
- [70:58]
Kelly
So Kelly, I'm going on banana bow, baby. Yeah, baby, banana bow.
- [71:04]
Ben Mandelker
So Fraser tells everyone. All right, everyone, I'm going to have to cut off Kelly. She's had too much to drink and she's not funny enough to. To carry on like this. Like, yeah, well, with 100% okay with that do whatever you have to do phrase.
- [71:18]
Kelly
Here comes Kelly getting on a banana boat. Don't try and mess with me. I'm getting on a banana.
- [71:26]
Ben Mandelker
Fists.
- [71:27]
Kelly
I want no vest. I don't need no vest. I lived in Hawaii, okay? So I've already done all this before. All this you got out here, ocean man. I already did it, cuz I live to noi. So isn't that.
- [71:44]
Ben Mandelker
Isn't that the same thing that Dolores said on below deck a few seasons ago when Captain Lee kicked that woman off the. Off the boat and she was like, I live in Hawaii, I know how to swim.
- [71:55]
Kelly
No, she was like, I'm a boat person. Because wasn't she the lady who lived on a boat. She's like, I'm a boat person and I can. I can swim all I want. I live on the water, so you can't get rid of me.
- [72:08]
Ben Mandelker
Now Kelly's like, I live in Hawaii and I've done this before.
- [72:14]
Kelly
I don't need no safety. I don't need it, you know, safety. Unless safety is the name of a Jack Daniels drink and you better keep me the fuck away from me.
- [72:26]
Ben Mandelker
So then Carrie's like, all right, well, you've had a lot to drink. You've got two options. Put the jacket on. Or the other option is, oh, well, she just jumped in the water. So there we go.
- [72:36]
Kelly
So she gets in the water and so they jump into trying some like, I guess Hugo gets in and follows her. So you can't catch me. I lived in Hawaii before. So you think you can jump in here and catch me? You got another thing coming, stupid. I can swim through faster.
- [72:50]
Ben Mandelker
She's like, she's like.
- [72:55]
Kelly
She's swimming away from him and they're trying to catch her. You're too slow, stupid. We should have something to drink, dummy.
- [73:03]
Ben Mandelker
She goes, I love when she goes.
- [73:04]
Kelly
I've been swimming since I was five, okay?
- [73:06]
Ben Mandelker
Michelle Phelps. She's like, I could care less about your stupid yacht. I'm like, well, you should care a little bit more about it, cuz otherwise you're not getting home. But I did love when she was like, catch me if you can. I was like, what is wrong with this lady? Where are you going?
- [73:25]
Kelly
So they finally get her and they bring her back on the deck and she just falls into Fraser and they have to drag her. It takes three people to drag her inside. And he's like, all right, well you're off the boat. And she's like, oh yeah, you're torturing me. You can't touch me. Touch me. This is torture. I mean, fortune there.
- [73:45]
Ben Mandelker
So it's like so that. So car is like, I'm going to call the authorities right now and have you taken off the vessel if you don't listen to me right now. Go back inside. Go inside.
- [73:54]
Kelly
You are disgusting. And she starts throwing a pillow at him. You're disgusting, man. Torturer. What are you? Sam has sins. You better get off of me, torturer.
- [74:06]
Ben Mandelker
And it comes to like, the people upstairs, like, you know what? The pineapple sorbet is a wonderful palette cleanser.
- [74:17]
Kelly
So she's, I can do whatever I want. You can't do nothing to me. And she's like, come on a yacht Come on a yacht. They say, you'll have fun. They say, look at this. It's turned into Olly Greensy, the prisoners torture place. Now I'm being tortured.
- [74:35]
Ben Mandelker
So Captain Carrie's like, all right. Hey, Helen, your friends in here. She's getting very aggressive and she's not listening. So Helen's like, kelly, stop it. Babe, stop it.
- [74:44]
Kelly
I hate you. I hate everybody. Because they're. They're especially the thumb over there. Democrats, Democrats, Democrats.
- [74:55]
Ben Mandelker
And what people. If you didn't see this episode, what you really are not getting is at this point, she is staring right into the camera. And her eyes are bulging and her hair is like, in this crazy half wet, half stringy thing. And she looks like she is like she's in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. She's like, democrats, close the doors. You'd think that she was like, this is the last gasp of life before civilization goes down.
- [75:21]
Kelly
I was dying. This is so funny. And he's like, oh, God. Just make a wall and crowd her in. Try not to touch her the best we can, but if it's safety related, we're allowed. Helen's like, she's just gonna relax at the party of free speech. Just let her relax on my sofa, okay? Could you bring her some tea? Tea will help. And say, I need tree. Tree. What am I gonna drink? I can't drink trees. What stupid thing is that? Try and make me drink a tree, I ain't gonna do it. Torturers.
- [75:53]
Ben Mandelker
So then Captain Carrie, silent. Suddenly like, all right, we gotta close off all the exits. I mean, they're. They're really acting like it is Jurassic Park. And they're, like, cornering a velociraptor. Like, only one. Well, got it cornered.
- [76:05]
Kelly
I hate everybody. All of you. I hate you. Kamala, bomb. All the bomb. Bombs. And Helen's like, you can't threaten the captain. What are you doing? Say, yeah, I can't. I'll kill you. What about that? I'll kill you dead. And the captain's like, listen, you go to your cabin. I'm not going to take threats. There's only one authority on this boat, and it's machine back to the cabin. And Helen's like. She's like, threaten him.
- [76:33]
Ben Mandelker
She's like, I got connections, okay? Don't worry about. I've always been. I have FBI in the family.
- [76:39]
Kelly
I got FBI in the family. I'm gonna call the FBI right now. What do you think of that? You think of that? I want to use my one phone call to call FBI. Somebody give me their number.
- [76:50]
Ben Mandelker
I've tried everything, every avenue to calm her down. Her friends aren't talking her down. She's tried to attack me. She threatened me. She threw a pillow at me, which was the last straw. She also threw a straw at me, too, which was the second to last straw. So he's like, I want you. I want you to enjoy yourself, but you're doing it in here. She's like.
- [77:08]
Kelly
So he's like, oh, my God. She could fall herself and hurt. She could drown, and I've got to do what it takes to keep her safe. She goes, oh, yeah, come get me, authority. Come at me. What are you going to do? Call authority. Bring them. Call them. Call them. Call.
- [77:24]
Ben Mandelker
So, so he calls. He has this conversation with the dock authority, which is clearly overdubbed by, like, a product, like a PA on the. On the crew, who's like. She's like, we got someone who's get. We need to get her off the boat. She's too drunk. That bad, huh? I'm like, no one who works on the doc answers like that. That bad, huh?
- [77:42]
Kelly
That bad, huh? We're really in the middle of a mahjong tutorial over here. Can it wait?
- [77:48]
Ben Mandelker
Blodeck, can you please get better voiceovers for your vehicle? So I laughed at that, too.
- [77:54]
Kelly
That bad, huh? Wow. I guess we'll just have to uproot our entire lunch. God.
- [78:02]
Ben Mandelker
So then, you know, Jennifer, there's a. There's a guest who's like, I'm so sorry. You know, I'm sure. What happened. I'm sure you see this a lot. He's like, we do. You know, it happens with people, but people need to chill out, right? Phrase. Right? We're buddies. Buddies now, right? It's like, yes, yes. Now you get out of my face now.
- [78:18]
Kelly
Yeah, you see it all the time, right? He's like, not that much. Nope. So now the police are waiting ashore for her, so he makes Hugo go get them to bring them on the boat. So Helen's like, listen, we've all gotten like that. And Frank's like, I never get like that. Never in my life have I one time ever gotten like that. She's like, shut up, Frank. I'm not talking to you. It's bad enough, all right, Frank.
- [78:42]
Ben Mandelker
So Carrie sends Fraser to the boat because, like, they want to have someone who's French. French who can at least speak with the police officers in case they can't speak English. So Kelly comes upstairs again. She goes, so what? I jumped in the water. So what? I had a couple of drinks. Not so bad. And Carrie's like, well, I asked you to stay in India for half an hour. She's like, you know what? Can I please talk? She's, like, trying to do that thing where she's like. I'm like. I'm composed and I'm a lady. She's like, can I please talk to him? Can you talk to me in private, please? Absolutely. He's like, after you. He opens the door, and she walks, and he just closes it and traps her in there.
- [79:17]
Kelly
And he's like, I'll be back 20. So then he's holding the door closed and say, 20 minutes. Wait a minute. I have to talk to you right now. He locked me in here. Hey, why don't you lock me in here? I suppose. Lock me in here. Let me out of here. So then he makes. He makes Damo come in and hold the door. I mean, what the hell? And Frank goes, I didn't want that brought on here in the first place. Place.
- [79:47]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Kelly is just screaming, holy hell. In. In that room. He.
- [79:54]
Kelly
Disgraceful. Treating me like, Bill, let me out of here. So unfair, Damo.
- [80:01]
Ben Mandelker
And Damo is, like, holding on to that handle for dear life. Like, he is grabbing onto it because. Enough that, like, when he eventually is able to, like, release himself from the door, you see him taking his hand, and he. He's like. He's, like, flexing it because it's so cramped up. Oh, God.
- [80:19]
Kelly
So she's screaming and yelling, and he's like, the water police are arriving. Let's go talk. So Kelly's like, no, we're disrespecting. I'm a happy person. I'm a good person. Helen's like, I know you're happy, honey. Br's like, kelly, stop talking and listen. Who's on the phone? Say, FBI. The FBI's on it.
- [80:39]
Ben Mandelker
Listen, Kelly, if you don't stop being so loud, they're canceling the charter. Get off the boat. Sleep it off, Kelly. Brian's.
- [80:47]
Kelly
Why don't you tell Herbert Hoover? Why don't you tell Herbert Hoover yourself to sleep? Well, because let me tell you what Hoover. Herbert Hoover likes banana boats. He likes banana boats. That's what he just told me, right? Hey, Herbie, what do you want to go on a banana boat? I'm going on a banana boat with the fba.
- [81:03]
Ben Mandelker
You're getting off the boat, okay? Whether it's right or wrong, that's what's going to happen. But if you resist, see if the French police will Arrest you and detain you.
- [81:09]
Kelly
Yeah, yeah. I mean, French police. I ain't scared of French police. What, are they gonna arrest me with cheese cups? I'm scared of that. I'll eat them.
- [81:18]
Ben Mandelker
To be continued. To be continued. Oh, my God, this woman. Well, we've seen a lot of people get really wasted and be terrible, but this is. She really was the. Probably the. The worst that we've ever seen. This is amazing.
- [81:30]
Kelly
Yeah, I was great.
- [81:32]
Ben Mandelker
She had all the stereotypical notes of being a drunk. I mean, like. Like the whole. Come on a yacht. They said, have fun. They said, like, it's like all these. Like. It was like. It was just like an AI rendering of, like, what a drunk person is. It's like we've looked at all the drunk people and this is what they all say.
- [81:49]
Kelly
Yeah. So, so funny. Go, go, go, Kelly. You go, girl. So, yeah, Kelly's gonna. Kelly's gonna rot in French prison.
- [81:59]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, sounds like it. We'll see what happens next week. Thanks, everyone, for being here and we will catch you on the. Bye, everyone. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.
- [82:17]
Kelly
Our way is the Amber way.
- [82:18]
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster, she can run my country it's Angie McGovern it's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
- [82:29]
Kelly
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt she's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniel Daniella Etchels we never miss her call It's Diane call Aaron mcnicholas.
- [82:38]
Ben Mandelker
She don't miss no Trickolas Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less.
- [82:48]
Kelly
Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with.
- [82:53]
Ben Mandelker
Jessica Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline.
- [82:56]
Kelly
Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren.
- [83:04]
Ben Mandelker
Sills be bringing the funk? It's Leslie Plunkett, she gets an A.
- [83:08]
Kelly
From us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry, we love her on the rocks it's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
- [83:21]
Ben Mandelker
This is Living with Michelle Vivian I.
- [83:24]
Kelly
Love a Ya Olivia Williamson, tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure is swell It's Raquel yes, sweet Cana it's.
- [83:33]
Ben Mandelker
Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.
- [83:37]
Kelly
Let'S share with Sharon Eldridge Darn skippy.
- [83:39]
Ben Mandelker
It'S Tippy the Bay Area Betches Betches.
- [83:43]
Kelly
And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're.
- [83:49]
Ben Mandelker
With Amy Baldwin somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with.
- [83:57]
Kelly
Caitlin o' Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle.
- [84:09]
Ben Mandelker
To Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.
- [84:36]
Kelly
The incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud.
- [84:45]
Ben Mandelker
She'S the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke.
- [84:47]
Kelly
We cannot tell a lie It's Sarah.
- [84:49]
Ben Mandelker
Tell of son Shannon out of a can and Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with.
- [84:56]
Kelly
Tamla Plain it's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Cooter, we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
- [85:25]
Ronnie Karam
Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely. Who's there at 3am when you can't sleep. Who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose.
- [85:38]
Ben Mandelker
She was everything he'd ever wanted.
- [85:40]
Kelly
There was just one cat.
- [85:42]
Ben Mandelker
She wasn't human.
- [85:43]
Ronnie Karam
She was an AI companion. But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn and Travis's private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift, AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human.
- [86:07]
Ben Mandelker
From one this is Flesh and Code.
- [86:09]
Ronnie Karam
A true story of love, loss, and.
- [86:12]
Ben Mandelker
The temptations of technology.
- [86:14]
Ronnie Karam
Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus.