#2953 RHOM S7E8 Part 1: Two Ships Sassing in the Night

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens - Episode #2953 RHOM S7E8 Part 1: Two Ships Sassing in the Night

Release Date: July 31, 2025

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Podcast: Watch What Crappens | Wondery
Episode: #2953 RHOM S7E8 Part 1: Two Ships Sassing in the Night

---

Introduction and Opening Remarks

The episode kicks off with Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam diving straight into their trademark blend of humor and sharp commentary. Ben shares an amusing anecdote about visiting the dentist and noticing the impeccably clean scrubs, likening them to the pristine attire of Captain Jason from Below Deck Down Under.

Ben Mandelker (00:00):

"Imagine if Captain Jason got into medicine. That's what those scrubs look like."

Ronnie quickly jumps in to discuss the practicality and style of Figs scrubs, highlighting their design and functionality tailored for healthcare professionals.

Ronnie Karam (00:21):

"They're comfortable, durable, and they have lots of smart design touches like pockets for scissors, your valuables, and more, so you can keep your hands free to, you know, do medicine."

Transition to Main Content

After a brief interlude featuring a promotional segment, the hosts seamlessly transition to the main topic: a recap and analysis of Real Housewives of Miami Season 7, Episode 8 titled "Two Ships Sassing in the Night."

Two Yachts, Double the Drama

Ben expresses his surprise and admiration for Bravo's decision to charter two yachts for a single episode, a first for the network. He praises the show's luxurious portrayal, drawing parallels to other Bravo franchises.

Ben Mandelker (03:37):

"It's kind of amazing, actually. It's funny because... it's really more of a statement of how luxe this show is."

Ronnie adds to the discussion by recounting how Kiki’s mention of dating a yacht-owning man set the stage for the episode's central conflict—fighting over two yachts instead of one. This creative twist, according to the hosts, amplifies the drama and competition among the cast members.

Ronnie Karam (04:25):

"We saw playing on restricted boat spaces... trying to squeeze down the side of the boat as they're trying to follow the cast members with their water guns. It was kind of funny."

Cast Dynamics and Conflicts

The hosts delve deep into the interpersonal dynamics among the cast, focusing on the strained relationship between Julia and Adriana. They dissect Julia's perceived social climbing and how her alliances with newer cast members like Marisol and Alexia have alienated her long-time friend Adriana.

Ben Mandelker (14:13):

"I think as long as she keeps goats and wackiness in her life, she'll be fine."

Ronnie Karam (14:13):

"She dropped her literally for no reason, just to go to these other ladies and be popular... the cycle continues."

The discussion highlights Julia's tactical maneuvers to reposition herself within the social hierarchy of the group, often at the expense of existing friendships.

Stephanie's Tacky House Tour

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing Stephanie’s newly renovated, albeit tacky, house. The hosts humorously lament the clash between Stephanie’s extravagant tastes and the practical aspects of her home design.

Ben Mandelker (27:30):

"I guarantee a kitchen island that's black with really aggressive white veining, which is my least favorite."

Ronnie Karam (27:56):

"I told you that was coming back walls. I said it years ago. People are going to be sick of this open concept shit."

Their banter underscores the often over-the-top and impractical design choices seen in reality TV homes, using Stephanie’s house as a prime example.

Emotional Turmoil and Health Scares

The episode doesn't shy away from the emotional and health-related storylines. The hosts touch upon the family's ongoing struggles, particularly focusing on Peter’s health issues and the emotional strain it places on Frankie and the entire family dynamic.

Ronnie Karam (45:58):

"This sucks. I mean, poor Frankie."

Ben Mandelker (46:16):

"If you're stuck with a Colon, a colonoscopy back... allow to have some sneakers on, for crying out loud."

Their empathetic yet humorous take provides a balanced view of the personal challenges faced by the cast members.

Nicole's Return and New Alliances

Nicole’s reintroduction into the show brings fresh dynamics. The hosts analyze her interactions with Stephanie and other cast members, noting how her genuine demeanor contrasts with the often superficial relationships in the group.

Ronnie Karam (51:44):

"She has the personality to pull it off, right? America's sweetheart."

Ben Mandelker (51:00):

"She's helping people's lives actively... she's pretty cool."

This segment emphasizes Nicole’s role as a potential peacemaker amidst the escalating tensions.

Conclusion and Tease for Part 2

As the episode wraps up Part 1, Ben and Ronnie hint at unresolved tensions and upcoming confrontations, teasing listeners with the promise of more drama in the next installment.

Ronnie Karam (57:04):

"You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Mandelker (03:37):

  "It's kind of amazing, actually. It's funny because... it's really more of a statement of how luxe this show is."

• Ronnie Karam (04:25):

  "We saw playing on restricted boat spaces... trying to squeeze down the side of the boat as they're trying to follow the cast members with their water guns. It was kind of funny."

• Ben Mandelker (14:13):

  "I think as long as she keeps goats and wackiness in her life, she'll be fine."

• Ronnie Karam (27:56):

  "I told you that was coming back walls. I said it years ago. People are going to be sick of this open concept shit."

---

Final Thoughts

In this engaging first part of their two-part recap, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide a comprehensive and entertaining analysis of Real Housewives of Miami Season 7, Episode 8. Their blend of humor, insightful commentary, and candid opinions offers listeners a thorough understanding of the episode's key moments, character developments, and underlying tensions. Stay tuned for Part 2, where the hosts promise to delve even deeper into the unfolding drama.

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

So I went to the dentist last week. Ronnie. While I was there, I noticed that everyone in the office was wearing super clean and crisp scrubs. Like, I mean, really clean. Like, sort of like when a crew meets a new guest on Below Deck down under, you know, and like Captain Jason's there looking all prim and proper, etc. It's like that. Imagine if Captain Jason got into medicine. That's what those scrubs look like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I already know what they were because all the trendy scrub wearers wear them. They're figs. They are the scrub wearer. If you work in healthcare, forget what you know about scrubs. And figs aren't boxy, itchy, or loose. Instead, they're comfortable, durable, and they have lots of smart design touches like pockets for scissors, your valuables, and more, so you can keep your hands free to, you know, do medicine.

[Ben Mandelker]

Once I saw figs at the dentist, I started seeing them everywhere. Like, I live right by a medical center and almost every person near there walking on the street, going to like, get coffee, they're all wearing figs, Every single one of them. It's crazy. And they also have like a ton of colors, like more pinks than Lisa Vanderpump would know what to do with, so. So head to wherefigs.com and enter figsrx at checkout for 15% off your first purchase. That's wherefigs.com and figsrx at checkout for 15%.

[Unknown]

Travis fell in love with the perfect woman. Beautiful, understanding, available 24 7. There was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free. Right now on Wonder.

[Ben Mandelker]

Guess what happens when there's so much crap. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch with Crappins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben. Hello, Ben.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi. How are you, Ronnie?

[Ronnie Karam]

Good. One of my eyes healing up okay. One of my eyes not healing up okay. What the hell? Am I gonna be wonky eyed for the rest of my life?

[Ben Mandelker]

What's wrong?

[Ronnie Karam]

Is it forever? Look, this one's all swollen and purple still, and this one's not well, maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

You got an infection or something. You maybe should just go to get it checked out. I'm sure it's fine.

[Ronnie Karam]

Texas. So guess what? I'm just. I'm just praying I'm going.

[Ben Mandelker]

Does it hurt, though?

[Ronnie Karam]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, if it doesn't hurt, then you're probably not infected. It's probably just bruising.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hey, it's like you're my own doctor. That's what I always say to myself. If you're not bleeding, don't go to the hospital. Hell, even if you are bleeding, use a paper towel and some Velcro and close that shit up. What are you gonna do?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I think if it were infected, you would. You would feel something, and it'd be, like, really uncomfortable. But if it's just bruising, it's just, you know, it's the body.

[Ronnie Karam]

Guess what I feel. I feel nothing. Everybody. Welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Miami. We're super excited, okay? It was due yacht day. Real Housewives of Miami. If you want to watch this on video, you can just go over to Crappin's on Demand, okay? That's where we do these on video. It's on our Patreon. If you don't want to do that, whatever, you don't have to. We're there for free a week later over on our YouTube channel. Also, our bonus episodes are open on Patreon, up on Patreon. And this week's is about our trip to Vegas, seeing Beyonce, seeing Backstreet Boys, getting mad at hotels and airlines. You know, good stuff like that. But today, here we are with the Real Housewives of Miami. Season seven, Episode eight, Dueling Yachts. Yacht fight. Yacht fight.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I don't think we've ever seen this before on Bravo 2. Two yachts chartered for one episode. It's kind of. It's kind of amazing, actually. It's funny because, you know, I watched the screener for this week's Orange county right after this, and really going from a show that just has. It's, like, flush with colors and water, like, beautiful turquoise water and palm fronds and two separate yachts and then going to, like, Newport Beach. It's an adjustment, I have to say. It really is whiplash going from Miami to Orange County. But it also just is really more of a statement of how luxe this show is. And I just don't know why anyone would sleep on it, because this is the luxury that we want from Bravo.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. And, you know, the beginning of the season, we saw Kiki talking about how she used to date a guy who had a yacht, and that's why she. Or what is he, like, the head of the yacht club or something?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she did mention that. Yes.

[Ronnie Karam]

So now she's, like, getting these yachts for her party episode, you know? But I guess the guy, whoever she's dating, I guess he's like, just take two smaller ones, and I Actually, like that, because it led to, like, fighting over two boats, which I thought was really creative. You know, we've already seen fighting on one boat, and then with this cast, we saw fighting on the. On the pontoon thing in Mexico, which was, you know, classic. So they're like, well, you know what? How are we going to try and top this? Two boats?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they really like putting their camera people on restricted boat spaces because there was no room on that boat in Mexico City and this one, because these boats were smaller yachts. We're used to below deck, where those camera people can just travel on any deck without any issue. But here you see them, like, trying to kind of, like, squeeze down the side of the boat as they're trying to, you know, follow the cast members with their water guns. It was kind of funny.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, it was a good one. So we open at Julian Martinez home, and there's. It's chaos. You know, we just see birds squawking, elephants, her giraffes tearing down trees, rhinoceroses, you know, like, beating down garage doors. That's what they use is, like, a garage door opener. Just like a rhinoceros. And then kids running around Martina trying to figure out what a Pop Tart is, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, yeah, it's pure chaos. But luckily, they're wealthy. These are wealthy lesbians who can afford a nanny. So the nanny will take over now, and instead, Julia and Martina go and look at the sunset together. And Julia's like, you know, I have.

[Unknown]

You, and we have each other, and we have boys and we have girls.

[Ronnie Karam]

We have nothing in between.

[Ben Mandelker]

Never betwixt shall they meet. So Julia's like, right now, everything in.

[Unknown]

My life and in Martina's life is about boys. I was told boys are more active, and they definitely are.

[Ben Mandelker]

But year of grazing goat make me prepared. So, yeah, we see the kids are. The boys are, like, in high chairs. They're, like, flipping over things on the table. It's just. It is chaos, as you said. It is pure chaos. There's, like, powder in the air. Like, things are flying everywhere. It's. It's madness.

[Ronnie Karam]

So then Martina's like, well, speaking of, we have to put them to sleep tonight. Could you choose better terminology?

[Unknown]

Oh, yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm talking about your goats. I can't do all this.

[Unknown]

Oh, well, I. I'm still upset about Gerdy and how she behaved yesterday at the event.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, well, that has nothing to do with us putting the boys to bed. But sure, I guess you'll just change the subject.

[Ronnie Karam]

Probably. It's a Good thing I didn't go to that. Cause you know what I would have done? I would have sat there cross legged and given, you know, roly eye looks. They. Watch out, ladies. Martina's coming.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're about to get Navratilova'd.

[Ronnie Karam]

I might have put out an extremely problematic tweet. So Julie's like, oh, he's so petty.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, Ronnie, what are you supposed to be using that wand on your healing eye?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm trying to heal it with red light.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ronnie, don't. Don't.

[Ronnie Karam]

Light is healing. This is how Jesus healed lepers. Red light. Red light wand, I think.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's not, like, oozing. It's just like if it's.

[Ben Mandelker]

If the bruising is not.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's just like bruising, you know, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

You'Re, like, vibrating on it. You're vibrating on your bruise.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, isn't that. Isn't that what healers do? They tap?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. I'm not you.

[Ronnie Karam]

And they put heat on you. I mean, I'm just. I'm the. I'm the Reiki healer for myself from Vanderpump rules. Be nicer.

[Ben Mandelker]

To Britney. I am not a doctor.

[Ronnie Karam]

To Britney.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm not a doctor. But I am someone who watched Dr. Nicole on this episode, and I'm gonna say, I don't think you should be fiddling with that aisle. Just let it heal on its own.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, it's been red.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do your forehead.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let's see, you've got much more.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can play around with all the rest of your face, but not that eye. Just let that eye do its thing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, let's wait, because by the end of the episode. Look, my eye already looks better. I'm telling you, I just fixed it, you guys. Does it look better? I think it does. I don't know, because I'm blind in this eye now.

[Ben Mandelker]

So you've been putting red, red light into your eyeballs, and then you're like, wow, I can't see the red anymore.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, you guys, if you think you look bad, you should blind yourself in one eye and you'll look better staring into a light.

[Ben Mandelker]

I can't see how far away I am from the screen.

[Ronnie Karam]

I just solved it. Okay, so they're talking about how this whole, you know, Julia's doing her whole victim thing. Like, oh, I'm so upset about Gertie and how she behaved. It's also petty. I left, and Adriana wanted me to go hash it out with her and Martina's like, there is no hashing out. There is no hashing out. How dare she put up completely benign text that said nothing bad on a screen.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nohashing. So Julia's like, well, after having time.

[Unknown]

To think about why Adriana didn't follow me, I'm starting to think that there is some sort of resentment towards me. Like, maybe she doesn't like that I stop hanging out with her and. And hanging out with her mortal enemies. Like, I don't know, she's crazy like that. Because now my friends are Marisol and Alexia, the cool girls. They've accepted me on Wednesdays. We wear pink.

[Ronnie Karam]

I love that. Julie is so confused. She's like, maybe Adriana's resentful. Yeah, maybe she is. Because you dropped her like a bag of hot potatoes. A bag of hot potatoes. You dropped her like a. Yeah, I would drop that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't even want to drop a. Imagine a single potato is bad enough, but a bag of them. And I'm assuming the bag's not insulated, right? Just a mesh bag with all the heat where you just touch all those hot surfaces.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, but I mean, a bag of hot potatoes isn't bad because at least you're not, like, burning your hand. I mean, the point is, it's a hot potato, but it's not in a bag. I mean, I could take a hot potato in a bag.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why'd you put your hot potato in the bag in the first place?

[Ronnie Karam]

That's not to deliver it, man. How else are you gonna doordash? Gotta make the mortgage. So anyway, she dropped her like a. A poopy diaper.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like a bad habit.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, Julia. Julia's just shocked. She's treating everybody like. And then now all of a sudden, they don't like her anymore. Hi, I'm your friend. Consequences. You dumb, stupid Julia. Even I don't like you. Julia. And I used to love you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love Julia. And I'm so.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm don't like anymore. Just kidding.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't like your goat.

[Ronnie Karam]

I still like the goat.

[Ben Mandelker]

I do too. I, like, disagree with everything you say. I'm going to copycat you the whole rest of the episode. Question. Is there any coming back from Julia? Because, like, we loved Julia for the longest time, and now she's taking this turn. You know, I know every season people like you hate someone one season, you love them the next season. But this, this season has shown, like, a social climbing side of Julia. Like a side that, like, really was not there. And I'm wondering, like, with a good edit next season or, like, walking things back. Can we really like Julia again? Or has that ship sailed? I saw her on Watch what Happens Live last night and she's like, kathy.

[Unknown]

I would love to talk to you and I would love to settle this at the reunion.

[Ben Mandelker]

Please, Kathy, please come back to me. Kd.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, really? Because you've been making snotty little comments all over your Instagram and making little laughy emojis when people are on your side about throwing water on her and everything else. So your apology is okay and it's too late. And did you see the interviews with Gertie that have been going around this week where she's talking about how this boat thing happened even before the last reunion? I mean, it was forever ago. So Julia had no problem. She still stood up for her all reunion, had no problem with it until she needed a storyline to be on Marisol and Alexia's side. Shame, shame on you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Shame, shame, shame on you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you think there's. Do you think there's a. Oh, my God, this happened a year ago. And that's when. Then she comes at me at the party. That's why I'm looking like, am I in the Truman Show? Am I in the Truman show right now? I'm looking around at the cameras like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

What shit? I like this, like, puppet thing you're doing there. That's very Muppet, very Muppet coated.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's how she's. That's how she is.

[Ben Mandelker]

She is muppety, let's be honest. But do you think there's coming back from Jul for Julia? Do you think, like, she could have, like, a good edit next season and we embrace her again? Or do you think she has been forever tarnished?

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, you know, look, Julia's like a wackadoo. I think as long as she keeps goats and wackiness in her life, she'll be fine. But the only coming back for me, like, if she goes up to her wife and says, stop your bullshit racist, homophobic, nasty tweeting and stop acting like a fucking asshole and embarrassing me all over the place and behave yourself. I mean, it would have to start there. Like, it would have to start even beyond the Gertie stuff. As far as the Gertie stuff. I think she can only heal herself if she realizes that who she's fighting for are evil. You know, like, Alexi and Marisol are very funny. I. I would never say, like, get rid of them. I think they're, yeah. You know, an integral part of the show, but they're evil, and you cannot side with evil. So I was like, one of the movies where you side with evil and then you realize that you've sided with evil, and then you do the right thing and you defeat evil. You know, something like that.

[Ben Mandelker]

But otherwise, no, I don't think Alexia and Marisol are evil because we've seen evil on these shows before, and they're just. They're just Alexia and Marisol. What I do think, though, is that they're evil to Adriana, and I think that Julia and they are their own clique, and I think Julia has exposed, like, some sort of pick me energy with them, and she's abandoned her friend. Now, is her friend unstable and also actually quite terrible in and of herself? Yes. Yes, she is. Does she just leave one like. Like, flaming pile of garbage for another? Perhaps. But still, I think it was like. I do think that, like, Adriana and Julia had a real bond, and it's sad to see her leave that. Now, of course, there's also. You could make an argument. Here comes a classic Ben flip flop, slightly. It's not really a flip flop, but I'm just, like, adding, like, acknowledging a point. So that way, I just acknowledge it, which is that, like, being friends with Adriana is probably really annoying. And, like, if Adriana should have also just been, like, cool, be friends with him, that's okay. But I think the issue is that Julia also ditched Adriana in the process. I mean, both of them are so territorial, Alexia and Adriana. So, you know, Alexia was probably not down for Julia to hang out unless she ditched Adriana. And Adriana is not gonna be happy with Julia unless she ditches Alexia. So, you know, damned if you do, damned if you don't, but you might as well just stick with the devil, you know? Right? What am I even saying? Am I arguing anything at this point? Am I just talking?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, no, I'm listening to you. But I think hashing things out, part of the Adrianna thing is that she's got her own karma from the Leah season, because Leah brought Adrianna onto this show. She got her cast on this show, and then Adriana turned on her to be friends with the popular girls that remember she was making her stab at going against Leah to get the favor of Marisol and Alexia and all of them. So she's already done that. I mean, that was years and years ago, obviously, but this is kind of her karma coming to fruition. So then she gets this other lady on the show, and this other lady does the exact same thing to her. She dumps her literally for no reason, just to go to these other ladies and be popular. And it's, you know, the cycle continues. It's a circle of life. It's a circle cycle life.

[Ben Mandelker]

It does. And I am in no way supporting Julia and the way she just dropped Adriana and just like fled to the. The cool girls. But what I am going to say is that there is a part of me that can understand that you've come onto the show and you're stuck at like the table with Adriana, like season after season. And it's only because Adriana can't, like, act like a grown up sometimes. Like, she's like really like an impetuous child all the time. And Julia is kind of like, I'm sick of sitting at the kiddie table. I want to do more fun things. I want to go to more parties. I want to hang out with other people. So I, in some ways I can actually kind of understand it, but I still think it's really shitty. I think there's a way to like, make new friends and keep the old, you know, And I think that Julia was. Has. Has done it in a social climbing way instead of a, hey, I want to have more of this, like a fuller experience on this show.

[Ronnie Karam]

And isn't it funny how she ended up getting away from petulant Adriana by acting petulant to be in with the other ladies? Yeah, like throwing water on somebody, throwing a fit for no reason. She's going petulant to be friends with the other ladies to avoid the petulant person. It's like, it's like Miami Logic is so. It's mind. It's mind boggling. Miami Logic is mind boggling.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it's a great reminder of how great this show is. It's so wonderful. There's so much going on. So anyway, Julia is still talking and.

[Unknown]

She'S like, I closed my eyes and I thought about it for a second, the party, and I just.

[Ben Mandelker]

When.

[Unknown]

When she humiliated me, I just walked back in because I just had one question for Gerdy.

[Ben Mandelker]

So one night earlier, she goes up to. She goes up to Gertie and she.

[Unknown]

Goes, what was the point of you doing this?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Gertie's like, well, you promised. You said to me, gertie, what I will do is I'm going to say this.

[Ronnie Karam]

Fingers out of my face like you normally do.

[Ben Mandelker]

You are not. You're not listening. You're not listening.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, Finger facer.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I have, I have 10 fingers. And I would use them and point them in any direction I want to, because these fingers is my party for my fingers. This is a party for fingers. And fingers can point in every direction. Up, down, left, right, in directions you don't even know about. Humankind doesn't even understand these directions because they're in different dimensions, and I get to use them. So what are you here for? Go home, girl. Bye. No class coming here with sneakers on while I humiliate you with text messages.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't think you're allowed to yell at lesbians for wearing sneakers. I will say that I'm on Gertie's side. I'm on Gurney's side for this whole fight, but I think that lesbians, like, fought for a long time for the right to wear sneakers places. I'm just going to say that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's a fair point. I also do love, like, Gertie, who has just gone out of her way to publicly humiliate Julia, to then be like, oh, you have no class wearing sneakers. At least dress formally while I humiliate you publicly.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Martina's like, oh, well, I have sneakers. I mean, I wore these sneakers. These are real Chanel sneakers. And I wore them to the Royal Box, and they said, you can't come in with sneakers. And I said, these are Chanel and I'm a lesbian. And they said, fine. And so I did. So I was, yeah, you're also extremely rich and famous, you dumbass. It's not like you were at the Royal Box for any other reason.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly that. By the way, the Royal Box does sound like a lesbian bar. So then we see, of course, Julia and Martina at Lake Wimbledon, sitting behind Princess Kate and Meghan Markle. So then Julia's like, but Gerrit is not.

[Unknown]

Whatever issues she could have with me, I apologize for the water. I apologize.

[Ben Mandelker]

And we see the apology and everything.

[Unknown]

I thought we were moving forward.

[Ben Mandelker]

Progress was made. She's not so much. It's a serious thing when people have cancer and they survive it. And we're celebrating the fact that they survive because 20 years ago, it might have been a death sentence. And that's. That's what she does at her event. I mean, you know, perhaps on one point. On one end, you have a point, but on the other. Other hand, it's like, what a way to. What a way to celebrate being alive than using your platform to publicly humiliate a fellow real housewife that is living.

[Ronnie Karam]

I don't like this whole, like, oh, we have cancer. So Suddenly we have manners. I mean, I'm sorry, do they put manners in chemo now? Get the fuck out of here with that. If I had cancer and I overcame that shit, guess what my response was would be? All of you guys. You tried to take me down. I'm still here. Now you're all gonna have to hear it. Every day of my life. You know I almost died before I got to tell you to off. How horrible would that have been? I never liked you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's living.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's living. That's how to go through cancer recovery. Not with manners. Get out of here with your manners. Talking. Your. Your sneakers. The royal box. Anyway, it's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.

[Unknown]

Imagine falling in love with someone who understands you completely. Who's there at 3am when you can't sleep. Who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose. She was everything he'd ever wanted.

[Ben Mandelker]

There was just one catch.

[Unknown]

She wasn't human. She was an AI companion. But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn. And Travis private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. AI companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human. From Wondry this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss and the temptations of technology. Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus, it's your.

[Nick Cannon]

Man, Nick Cannon and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y' all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's going to be sexy, freaky, messy. And you know what? You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at Night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery plus right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

Arabian Night style home under massive construction. Let's go see Stephanie's extremely tacky house. We knew this was coming.

[Ben Mandelker]

We knew it was coming. She's trying to untackify it. But I have bad news for you, Stephanie. It's gonna require a tear down.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's in the bones.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's in the bones? Yeah, it's in the bones.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's all over one of the Epcot Center. Like, look, we're in a different world.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're in Mermaid.

[Ronnie Karam]

You go around the corner and they're selling like kebabs. And then you go around the other corner and they're selling like crepes and there's a guy in a beret.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I love that. I actually love Epcot Center. I do too. Like, you're selling me. I'm like, why don't we, why don't we do a show?

[Ronnie Karam]

We should do that.

[Ben Mandelker]

I, I did do the drinking around the world in Epcot center and it was a blast. I made a whole video and it was on YouTube for a while, but I got taken down because I used like six seconds of Celine Dion in the, in the, in the video and it's like copper infringement. Celine does not like me drinking around the world. But I mean, I love Selena. I'll do what, anything she says.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I did drinking around the world too. In the world. Like a normal alcoholic have to go to Epcot to do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, Stephanie shows up and Larsa shows up and Stephanie's welcome to my soon to be humble abode. Larsa, she's like, wow. It's like a full on construction site. Like Larsa, that was good.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, seriously. So it's huge. It's one of those like with giant doors, you know. And in Texas we have gigantic doors for no reason as well. They're like, you know what we need in this house? A 20 foot tall door. I don't know why, but you know what we should do in a place with heat that we can't keep out of our homes no matter how hard we try? We should put garage doors as our front doors. Okay, so it's one of those. And Stephanie's like, it's like a castle. Right, but right, like it's like a castle. She goes, yeah, it is a castle. It is like a castle. Like, it's not like a castle. It's like, like a castle. Like, wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And Stephanie's like, yeah, for like a queen. Excuse me, por favor. Can we stop the construction for like two minutes, please? You know that she intentionally had that guy there working so she could walk in and tell him to stop working. Yeah, I just know how to talk to construction man, the guy with the guitar.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, can we stop that song? And extreme construction.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, It's Howard Jones.

[Ronnie Karam]

So she tells us, Massoud built us this house with his ex wife. And after he got a divorce, Massoud and I moved to a condo.

[Ben Mandelker]

And.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Massoud wanted this house again after the divorce. And I said, oh, hell no. I'm not doing that. I'm not moving some ex wife's used things. You've got the ex wives used ass, wrinkly old balls down to the knees, dick. So what's the problem with the house, please? You had no problem stealing the man. I have. I. You should keep the house with pride and be like, I got the old dick and your house too. I would do Instagram videos like, look at me, I'm washing my hair in the sink. You put in here wife that I stole old person from. Suck it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, I'm gonna back Stephanie on this one. Not because of any sort of principles of, like, old versus new, but just because we know the interior was probably, like, ghastly in this place, so it's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Gonna be ghastly in the new one, too. Stephanie's tasteless. It's all gonna be white. I think it's gonna be like, white, white, white, white, white and white and white and white. It's going to be that new modern that they do in all the house flips and stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what's going to be in there? I guarantee a kitchen island that's black with really aggressive white veining, which is my least favorite. I do not like an aggressive veining in the. In the. On the black marble. Disgusting.

[Ronnie Karam]

Or a wiener.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think she'll do that. Or a wiener.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So this is a 22,000 square foot home. The ceiling height is 40ft high, and she's somehow making it look small. I thought it looked cramped myself. Like, you walk in, there's stairs, then there's like crampy stairs with, like, walls. I don't know. It looks very cramped to me.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, closed concept is the new open concept. You know what I'm saying?

[Ronnie Karam]

I told you that was coming back walls. I said it years ago. People are going to be sick of this open concept shit. People walk into your house, they see all your dirty dishes, they see every Crappy thing. Your kid ever PA all over the fridge, you know, bring back walls. Also, no place to shame, huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, there's no place to hang art. And like I've told you before, I like the, the, the, the. The way they used to do it in like, old England, which is that you're only allowed to go in as far into the home as you are close to the people. So I just love the passive aggression of like, letting someone come into only, like the second room and be like, yeah, this is where it ends. Like, do we get to see a house tour? No, no, your access is just. You're only. You're foyer plus. Sorry. We'll let you know if you actually graduate to the next level.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, when we went to Ms. Patricia's home in Charleston, when we did a show in Charleston, we got to go to Ms. Patricia's home. And Ben called that out immediately because we were sat in the front room by the butler, Michael Rip, and had some drinks. And she comes down, you know, lounging a little bit late, as she should be because she's a lady. And we sat there and then she's like, well, let's go into the next room. And you're like, oh, my God. And so we went to the next room. I was like, what's his deal? So we saw the next room, we sat there for a while, and then she's like, well, let me show you something in the dining room. So we ended up moving to another room, and Ben was getting. I was like, why do I have to get up so much? You know? But Ben loved it. And finally Ben was like, I'm so honored that we made it through your complete house. And she's like, yes, you did actually supposed to be sequestered in the front until you like me more, and then you're brought to the next room. She goes, yeah, that's exactly how it works. You passed. Congratulations.

[Ben Mandelker]

Those old timey country homes in, in like, England, for instance, they were like. The layout was like one room leads into the other, leads into the other. It was like a linear layout. You don't just like walk in. You. You can go to the left to this room, to the right, to that room, though, you just go straight and like, you only got to go as far into the path as you were allowed to, as you were, like, seen as important. So, like, if you were really important, like a royal, you got to go all the way to the end. And by the way, if you thought you were going to see a kitchen, you were not, because Kitchens were not for showing off. That was where the servants were. So it is fun to see how it. I mean, I still, like. I think. I think I'm okay with us, the people gathering in the kitchen. I don't think we need to relegate that to the shadows. But I do like the idea of, like, passive aggressively, like, gym. Yeah. Like, really, that's what every house is these days. There's a canoe with ancillary side nooks. But I do like the idea I.

[Ronnie Karam]

Live in that, like, you open my front door and you're in the kitchen. It's like, well, would you rather go to the kitchen or the kitchen? Because that's where we're gonna go today.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Kitchens are crazy. The fact that now kitchens have, like, in terms of. In, like, the McMansions, kitchens have, like two kitchen islands. It's so funny to me. You got the kitchen island that you cook on and kitchen Helen that you sort of eat and hang out on. And so it's like, it's. Everyone's house is slowly turning into the kit, into the tent at a British Bake Off.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know, that's like big, big energy for a kitchen to have double islands. Oh, they're so annoying, though. I used to cater and one. One time someone. The first time I ever saw a double island. What a pain in the ass. You do everything at this giant island, then you have to walk around and carry everything to the second island. It's the. It's not. It's not comfortable. And then you can't talk to anybody anyway. They're so far away on the other island. And you're cooking on the back island. Like, hey, guys, how's everything going over there?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, everyone just looks. Everyone just making their homes look like Food Network shows, really.

[Ronnie Karam]

Which are all being canceled. Wow, Food Network. You did it to yourself.

[Ben Mandelker]

Too bad. They were such good quality shows.

[Ronnie Karam]

So bad. Yeah. But guess what else is this recap? Because we're supposed to be recapping a show about a tacky house.

[Ben Mandelker]

This house is going to be tacky houses.

[Ronnie Karam]

And also just the gall of this lady walking around, like, all the rumors of this. Whatever you all have been reading on Reddit, I cannot wait for this stuff to be brought out on the show. Like how she got that husband, what she's been doing with that. What happened to the ex wife? I need to know. I want the ex wife brought on this show. Because the rumors are that Stephanie worked for the ex wife. She was like the assistant, and then she, you know, this is all alleged shit I hear from Reddit. So I don't know what's true. Stephanie's all denied all this on podcasts and stuff like that, but who knows? But the gall, if that is true, for her to be walking into the home of the lady that she supposedly used to work for and then stole her husband and her job at the company and can't steal a husband. Okay, we all know that, but still. And then walking through the house and being like, I'll keep her house, but I don't want a piece of her in it. Got the whole thing that whether you like this girl or not, I'm leaning on not. It's huevos. It's huevos that she does. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

She says, when I first went into Massoud's house, it was not my style. It was so Persian. I'm like, you know who else is Persian? Your husband. Hello.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know what else is so Persian? Masseuse Wiener.

[Ben Mandelker]

I honestly felt like there was a genie that was going to come out of the chimney. So Stephanie starts showing Larsa some more, you know, unfinished rooms. It's at everything, and she's like, this is gonna be the master.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

And wait, Larsa, wait, wait, wait, wait. When you come into the grand closet, look at this grand closet. Look, it's a little over a thousand square feet. Okay? Check it out. And this wall over here, this is where all the Birkins will be before we inevitably find ourselves in a financial scandal and they get sold off.

[Ronnie Karam]

This is a mannequin representing the ex wife. And every day I come in here and dismantle it a little bit more. Take off the thumb, take off a pinky finger. Then we go with the whole hand. Also, I love that she still uses the terminology master, but then she changes the terminology for closet to be grand closet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Grand closet. The grand closet. I didn't even know there was such a thing as the grand closet. I've never heard of that.

[Ronnie Karam]

She made that shit up. This lady is such an asshole.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, she is.

[Ronnie Karam]

But I'm enjoying it today. I don't know why I think I'm enjoying it today. Because she's trying so hard to get Larsa to care. And Lars is just like, whatever, pass. This is like, really big. Wow, that's really cool. She goes, yeah. And this wall goes all the way down, and it's going to be all Birkins.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love that she describes how a wall works. This wall goes all the way down to the next wall. So it's like, yes, we can see the corner.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, I want my own about the Birkins. To this degree, you're sad, okay? You're just supposed to be like, this is where the bags go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah, exactly.

[Ronnie Karam]

Somewhere to put them where people don't see them. That's just so embarrassing.

[Ben Mandelker]

She is definitely the peak of new money. But again, I like her on this show because she fits right in, and she's, like, not afraid to speak her mind and stand up to, like, the ones who've been there for years and years. So she's going on about, like, I want my own. I want my wine cellar. I want my own gym, a spa, a makeup room, staff quarters. To have their own entrance so they don't have to use my entrance. Disgusting. Somewhere in Newport Beach. Had the bro is like, snaps to that. Yes. I love this girl. America's sweetheart.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. She wants a lot. I just want ears that don't grow hair, you know? But, you know, we. We all want different things. So Lars is like, oh, my God. We're, like, gonna, like, be tanning, like, naked, like. And Stephanie tells us how the cost was so high they could have just bought a new home, but they wanted this house, and she wanted to be fully happy, so had to do what we had to do. So they walk back out to the backyard and pool area, and I love that she's like. She's stripped the entire outside of whatever it was supposed to be, but it still looks the same. Like.

[Ben Mandelker]

She moved the pool far away. She's like, I want the pool over there because Masood, I want him at every corner he turns not to be reminded of the past. I'm, like, the only one who's talking about the past is you, to be honest. And if you're that concerned that a pool is gonna somehow, like, send him back to whatever state of mind he. He was in, then you may have some more troubles in your marriage, and you're giving on or letting on.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah. So it's. Yeah, it's kind of sad, but I don't really like her, so I like it. I like watching a slow demise. So she's like, I'm gonna have a housewarming party, and anyone who brings bad juju is gonna be escorted out. Escorted out. So Lars is like. I mean, like, yeah, like, how crazy, like, was the other night? Like, that was, like, so, like, crazy. Like, there were so many words that were put up on a screen. My. My ears started bleeding. Words hurt.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was too much. I mean, I'm very opinionated. I have a lot to get off my chest. And. Oh, wait, by the way, can I show you the rest of the house before we talk about this?

[Ronnie Karam]

No, because, like, what do you got to get off your chest? Like, I feel like you got off, like, your X, Y, Z, like, off your chest, like, with electric, sexy and like, like, what else could you, like, have to do?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, well, I mean, okay, fine, we can talk about her as well. She thinks that you keep bringing up Todd. And I know it's a very sensitive subject for her, which is why she brings it up all the time to.

[Ronnie Karam]

All of us, because I did hear her say that Ms. Parties themed for.

[Ben Mandelker]

Todd and then retracts the theme and changes it around. I was saying, you're beautiful. You don't have to, like, you know, you have so much to bring. I mean, if God takes out the garbage, make sure. Make sure the ex wife is in the garbage bag too. I mean, you don't go back diving for it. Okay? All she's done is try to belittle and put me down. And I have yet to go to one good event with you guys. Honestly, I'm like, lady, you're on the Real Housewives. There are no good events. That's part of the formula.

[Ronnie Karam]

I hope that the ex wife makes a gif of her saying, you got to take out the garbage. Sometimes God takes out the garbage and just waits for this divorce. Are they even married yet? Are these two married? Or did she just change her last name because she changed her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, no, no, they are married. Yeah, they're married. They're married.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, they are.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're married.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, so, yeah. So then we see Alexia laying into her saying, like, oh, well, if you want to be neutral and go in there and kiss Gertie's ass, then you do that. She's like, I'm not kissing anyone's ass. And you need to shut the fuck up. You need to fucking shut the fuck up. So then back to present, Lars is like, yeah, you can't let go after Todd. And so she says, before Gertie's event, Kiki had planned a yacht excursion for all the girls. But we. They only booked one yacht and then it all went to shit. So now they've had to book two yachts. So we see a little meeting of Kiki and Larza deciding to get the second boat. Dun, dun, dun.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, so there's a lot of coordination here. I really enjoyed this process, by the way. So they're putting people in this boat and that boat and. And ultimately Alexi. I mean, I mean, Adriana is like a bit of a. She's a bit of a. Like a. A landmine. No one wants to be on her boat. They try to put Marisol on the same boat as her, but they just sort of know that that's. I think they try. They're like, that'll be funny. But then they realize this won't work as they call it Marisol. And like, Marisol, do you want to be there with Adrian? She's like, no, I don't like it, guys, you know, not enjoy being around Adriana. I mean, we're doing an overnight. She might come in my room and murder me in the middle of the night before I've had my cocky. Sorry, it's my signature thing. I don't know if you guys heard about cocky. You guys heard about cockies before.

[Ronnie Karam]

She might come in and murder me. I mean, it'll be like the set of Carry in there. I mean, what are they going to do? Drop blood from the ceiling where the thing's going to be flying all over the place in the prom? I mean, is that where we're doing here? Like Carrie, which she won't let go of that. She's like, do we get that you're using my carry bit, right? You want me to do it again today? I'll do it again today.

[Ben Mandelker]

I do love her, like her old, old timey pop culture references, which, and I say this as someone who frequently references things from the 80s as if they are current and everyone will get them. But she really goes for it. Like if it's like someone from the same. That's like Pachula Clark over there. I mean, come on, everyone.

[Ronnie Karam]

What are you, Donny Osmond on the weekends? Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, Clark Gable just walked in, everyone. I guess we all better bow down.

[Ronnie Karam]

She really Judy Garland that one up. So they. Stephanie's like, can we just continue with the tour? Like, I mean, come on, we only have another 10,000 square feet to go.

[Ben Mandelker]

She literally says that. And they don't even bother showing the rest. So now we go to Alexia's home. And now we have a scene with oh, Peter. Cuz Peter has arrived and he hugs Frankie. Etc. And Alexia is like, oh, well Peter, you know you like it here. I love that you like coming over here.

[Ronnie Karam]

Here.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a good house for artists because, you know, you are an artist. So like, you like it, Peter. And he's like, no, we just have this spot here on the beach. It's Fun like, oh God, Peter.

[Ronnie Karam]

Still, if I were, if I were ever in the same room with Peter, I would just like kind of slowly make my way towards him and just find a reason to stand next to him and then just like poke him with a needle. I would like to see.

[Ben Mandelker]

Has he tried coffee?

[Ronnie Karam]

Let's see if he even reacts.

[Ben Mandelker]

Has he ever been caffeinated? I mean, is there anything we can do to sort of like speed this guy's talk?

[Ronnie Karam]

Are there any living cells on this person? What is happening on this person? And he's always kind of been like that, but then every year his hair gets a little bit drier and he just seems to slow down a little bit more.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he needs to, he. I'm sorry, he's like, he needs to like start committing to like a buzz cut or something because obviously we can see the hair is thinning and it's like getting stringier and like that's fine. But like he's trying to I think, cover it up by growing it long. But it just sort of is looking like Gerard Depradouish at this point.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, that's a good way.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, like Gerard Depradu meets Quentin Tarantino. It's like you've got like director hair, but you don't actually have any credits to your name. So like, you know.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, he's got like intellectual hiding in the library in college, like with dusty books and stuff. Like philosophical arguments with everybody. But he doesn't do any of those things, you know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, it's like, like an intellectuals are allowed to have that awful hair because they're intellectual. So they like excel in a different area. But if you're not excelling in like intellectual things or if you're not like in the, in the arts, you really.

[Ronnie Karam]

Shouldn'T have that hair or justify like if you excel at nothing, at least groom.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what I. Yeah, because like if you're like a professor, it's like, oh, well, he just doesn't have time to do his hair properly because he's busy in academia. He's busy doing things. Or if he's an accountant, it's tax season. But like he's just doing nothing. Like there's just no, you're in Miami. Like this is the city of knowing what to do with your hair.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, you got a groom, so. And I'm speaking as someone in like a three day old T shirt and a very swollen eye that I'm red lighting.

[Ben Mandelker]

But we're doing something. But we're doing something. We're podcasting, which is very, very important.

[Ronnie Karam]

Very important to the world. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Rigorously important.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Peter's like, yeah, you just gotta keep yourself emotionally unstable, Mom. And the producer's like, so you guys seem to be avoiding talking about Todd. Oh, yeah, we do. We do. You know, because I don't like. I don't like to involve my kids. You know, I just like to move them in with people and then take them away so they can move out in front of. In front of Frankie. In front of Frankie. But, yeah, I don't like to involve people with Todd. You know, that stuff I keep very, very private. You guys. You guys, I can't believe this right now. While we're playing pool. While we're playing pool.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, it's not that they aren't talking about Todd. It's just that Peter still is in the first three words of a sentence, and he hasn't gotten to the rest of the sentence yet where he talks about Todd. So, Mom, I just want. It's like. Okay, all right, I'll take it from here. Okay. So, Peter, what's going on? Like, you. How. How you doing? You want go hug Frankie? So they hug. That's really cute. I mean, when they. Frankie and Peter are very cute together, and they hug, and. And Lexi is like, frank. Frankie has been vomiting profusely and ended up in the emergency room, and they diagnosed him with divert diverticulitis, or as I call it, looking at Adriana disease.

[Ronnie Karam]

Or as I told the doctor, this is what I call the disease. To the doctor. How could you do this to Frankie? Oh, get him a better disease. I don't even know what this is. Get him a better disease. So this sucks. I mean, poor Frankie. Like, he doesn't go through enough that now he has to deal with diverticulitis, which is no joke, by the way. My friend just had really bad case of. I don't even know it was diverticulitis, but it was called, like, pronounced diverticula. I mean, I don't know. It was something like heightened, and it sucked. She had to get, like, a colostomy bag, and she had to be. I mean, she was out of commission for, like, six months.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is it curable or is it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, she's. She's better now. Yeah, she's better now. She healed up, thank God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, good.

[Ronnie Karam]

One of the lesbians in the tennis shoes. I mean, they just keep coming up today.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I would. Listen, if you've got. If you. If you have. If you're stuck with a Colon, a colonoscopy back. I think you're allowed to have some sneakers on, for crying out loud.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. No one will question her sneakers because she's like, a true. Like no one's gonna. With her. Yeah, it's gonna work.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah. So Alexia says that he has to have a better diet and everything, which is, you know, like. He does look a little thinner, actually. So it looks like he's. He's been eating healthier. And I don't know why I felt like commenting on that. I just. Your report card is in. Ben Mandelker approves.

[Ronnie Karam]

Where do I get div. Diverticulitis. You look great. You look amazing. Is this over the counter? Can we make out for a bit? How long should this last? Let me just. So they talk about. Peter starts crying, you know, because they're talking about how hard all this stuff is on Frankie. And then they're talking about, you know, I don't know, this family. You know how this family is. They keep. They talk about kind of the same traumas every year and then cry about it as a family, which I guess is. Is fair. So she's like, you know. But the truth is, Peter, you really had it hard. I can't. I can't. With the. Oh, my God. How hard. Peter has it. Peter doesn't do anything. Let's stop this. Can we stop.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Really? You know, like, you love it so hard.

[Ronnie Karam]

Videotaped a homeless person as he was, like, trying to make him do bum fights or whatever the. He was doing, and. And abusing him. Like, I can't with. And I get that he was a kid and this and that and. But please stop with the. Every single year trying to make Peter look like he's some little saint. Cut his hair. The least you could do is cut his hair. Alexia, he.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he is. You can't say that. He's. I guess he has had it hard with that hair, and I'm not going to lie.

[Ronnie Karam]

Do you know how hot it is having such dry hair? His hair hurts.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, well, he tried to buy some VO5, but he asked for VO6 and don't even make that. And he gave up. It was so hard for him. So, you know, it's so hard, you know, because your brother gets into the accident, then you go to Paris. Oh, God, could you imagine what a hard life that is, going to Paris? Then you come back and Hernan dies. Oh, it's just like. It's a lot, and, like, we're good, but I don't want you to worry. And she says, you know she does. I mean, I'm not gonna take away that. Like, obviously Frankie was. I mean, when Peter was very affected by Frankie's accident. Etc. But like you said, they. Alexa brings us up to us every single year as if we never heard it before. I'm like, okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, I mean, it's just. Alexia's like, boy, mom, you know, Peter does all this bad every year. And then Alexi's like, oh, my God, you guys, Peter has it so hard. Like, nobody has a harder than Peter. Raise your child to be better because your child sucks. Okay, like, I don't want to hear it. And stop coming on here like you're trying to make Peter Mayer every year. I don't want to hear it. Peter sex. Keep him away.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, the big wrinkle this time around for the usual like, oh, Peter's had it so hard storyline is that now he is going to be Frankie's guardian. So, like, what? Meaning, like, you know, if. If Alexia is the predeceased her son, then Frankie will take over, which is a big deal. Peter will take over. Actually, I would not be surprised if Frankie takes a guardian for Peter. Frankie. I think Frankie will be a more suitable guardian for Peter than the other way around.

[Ronnie Karam]

I do too. That's. That's kind of a terrifying thought. So then, Gertie, let's see. What are we doing? So Gertie goes to have lunch with Dr. Nicole.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dr. Nicole's back. It's like we get this whole long shot of Nicole from behind. Her hair is blonde and long and flowing. It's like ba boom, ba boom, ba boom. And she, she shows up looking great and radiant because she's a radiologist. Oh, no, she's actually an anesthesiologist.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's an anesthesiologist.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, guess what? She's a radiologist today because she is radiating.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's a radiating ologist.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sells radiators because guess what she's radiating.

[Ronnie Karam]

She sold about 96,000 of them because that she's wearing an Herme matte alligator Birkin for $96,600. And she's got matching baby blues, Jimmy Choos or whatever. And they're like, wow, Nicole is worth $27 trillion, everybody. And we. Why does Nicole get away with doing this when it's so annoying from Stephanie? Although this always did kind of annoy me about Nicole. But because remember Nicole's whole like, oh, yeah, look, here we are buying like a, you know, 70 trillion dollar ship or whatever. Anthony like to brag about their money, too, but I don't know how she did it and what didn't annoy people as much as Stephanie. She's got the personality to pull it off, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Because Stephanie watches, like, a house get, like, torn open and, like, rooted around and. But. But Nicole has to watch human bodies go through that. And I think she deserves. You know, like, I think she deserves a $96,000 bag because she's helping. First of all, she's helping people's lives actively. Unlike, really, 99.9% of anyone else on Bravo, she's actively trying to save people's lives. And she's also. She's also pretty cool. And Stephanie is obnoxious, and Nicole is fine. Nicole seems to be, overall pretty good given, you know, a base level of obnoxiousness that everyone on Bravo has, you know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, I think because she shows it off, but she doesn't, like, openly brag like Stephanie, but I don't know. So she comes in, and the girls are like, oh, my God, it's you. It's you, baby G. The last time I saw her was in the. You know, she was still in her preemie because they're talking about the little baby, and we see a picture of the little cute baby, and Nicole's like, yeah, she was, like, 4 pounds, like, pure bones. But now she's, like, 90 90th percentile weight. Like, she's a little pudgy sickle. Doesn't she look like my dad? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Don't put that on that baby. And then they show a picture of her next to fucking. Not Columbo. Who's the other one?

[Ben Mandelker]

Asner.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we see a picture of her. Her dearly departed father. I personally did not see the resemblance. But also, to be fair, her dad looked like literally every baby I've ever seen. Like, he just was like, a big. I'm not saying he was a man baby. I'm just like, have you imagined a baby who is 75 years old? That's what her dad.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm just really hairy carrying a cigar.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, everybody rip that guy.

[Ronnie Karam]

So that guy was.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, he really was. He was. And so Nicole's saying how it was, like, a nightmare because, like, the pregnancy because. Or I should say the birth, because, like, the. There was the nicu, and then she was in the hospital just to go in and out. She had to miss all these things, but she was also ignoring Grayson's, so she had to spend time With Grayson and Gertie's like, it was a shit show. Okay, can we talk about my thing now? Okay, great. So Georgia's like, well, I know that she's what, that you're still going through postpartum, and it's emotional roller coaster. So I just want to support her and let her take it easy. And it's all about her right now, about her getting back to who she is, because I'm trying to get her to get her groove back. That's what I'm trying to do. So naturally, they now start talking about Stephanie.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now, this is a big surprise for the episode because the rumors before the episode, before the season started where Nicole was going to come back to the show, but then she left the show because they brought on her ex's new wife or whatever, which is Stephanie, and that she was like, that's low. Or whatever. Fuck this. But it turns out she's really like Stephanie and she's nice to her. So who knew? Who saw that one coming? It's like the twist. She's like, I'm really excited to meet Stephanie. She's like, oh, the fact that she dated Anthony 20 years ago, I mean, isn't that crazy? And she was. Oh, my God, like, the world is this big. It's this big. She goes, yeah, okay, let's talk about her. She goes, listen. Like, there's got to be similarities. Like, he likes us both. Let me tell you. Anthony's picky as fuck, okay? He likes short people who like really expensive purses and planes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, pretty much. So they call Stephanie, and Gerda's like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I want to do a quick high and by intro to this girl here. You may know her because she is now with your ex. And Stephanie's like, oh, my God. You know, I was blonde, too, at one point. And then I was like, this is so damaging. Like, I am not gonna be blonde. Like, only an idiot would be blonde. Oh, my God. Nicole, nice to meet you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Goes like, yeah, I was gonna go red, too, but, like, it's so much work to keep it red and also, like, go places where people don't treat you like a little orphan in a musical. So. But it works for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, oh, my God, if I know I will die if you go red, because there will. Then we'll be just like twin. She's like, okay, well, in that case, I'm definitely never going to be read the rest of my life. Okay, I'll stay blonde. Okay, bye.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is Stephanie a Redhead. Why does Stephanie look like a brunette to me? Are my eyes that bad? Is my eye that swollen?

[Ben Mandelker]

She looks like a brunette to me. There's someone pounding on our door.

[Ronnie Karam]

No. Tell him to fuck off. Peter. Get a job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Pounding.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get a job, Peter.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know it is. Peter. Be like, I am lost. I think Stephanie is a brunette, but I can see that maybe in certain light you can see the redness of it all. Okay, maybe low level red, like maroon.

[Ronnie Karam]

Stephanie's like, Nicole's fabulous. Like, clearly we have to have similar traits because I dated Anthony 20 years ago, and you could tell he was going to go far in life. I mean, no one's comparing private jets around here. I'm just saying mine is big or bigger. Walla Perkins. Walla Perkins. Can we finish my. Can we finish my tour now? Come on, follow me.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they hang up, and Nicole's like, you know, it's funny because when I saw her hang out with the group, my initial thought was, like, I don't think she's gonna get along with Alexia because, you know, there's that alpha competition, and, like, if you don't bend the knee, like, she doesn't do well. And Stephanie doesn't strike me as a knee bender, mainly because she only comes up to someone's kneecap. So if you bend, she really. There's not really a knee there to bend.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, no. And at the party that you were supposed to go to, I put that text message up. I put it up. I put it up. There was a screen. I put it up. There was there, it was there. I redacted the names, though. I redacted them. So then we see a clip of that. And then Gertie is like, yep. And Julia got embarrassed, and so they walked out and Stephanie wanted to go back in and hear what I had to say. What happened? And they were like, oh, no, you're such a kiss ass. Can you believe it? That's what they said. Even though it was redacted. It was redacted.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, we see like, flashbacks and everything. And we see. See, like, you know, Alexia confronting Stephanie, etc, and like, you know, being like, you want to go in there, kiss Cody's ass, then you do that. Etc. Nicole's like, well, these are like. Well, the. These are like bling. These are like bling alliances, right? Like, I don't understand that. Because if I'm someone's friend, I will hear your story and be like, you know what, Gertie? That was wrong. And you know what? Like, maybe you shouldn't have said that. And like, I told you, like, after that comment about the facelift. Remember I told you the face of comment was too far, Gertie.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then we see the flashback to after getting water thrown on her. She tells Julia, you got a facelift while Martina was in New York getting chemo. That's you facelift together. I didn't think that was so bad. Julia started it. I'm. I'm sorry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Julia started it. Yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she's like, I told you that was tough, girl. Like, I don't know if I would have gone there, but that's what friends do. You know, we're honest with you. And she's like, well, you know what? Blinders. You know what? You put on the blinders when you want to. And she says she's not proud of how she acted, but. And would I have done this as first choice? No. No, I would not have. But the fact is, I tried every other way with everyone, and the only way left was to put text messages on a screen. That was literally the only way left.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was the only way left for her.

[Ronnie Karam]

When in doubt, rent a projector. That's it.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's. There was nothing else to do. That's all I could do. Nicole's like, well, I just don't understand what happened. I mean, we were all really good friends. Remember the day after your surgery, we picked up smoothies, and Julie and I went to visit you. We sat in your bed, and we see that, you know, from last year. And she's like, I just feel like there's been a big shift in Julia because I never even seen Julia hanging out with Adriana anymore more. Well.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, we saw those two over the summer, and you were like, what's going on there? You know, because, like, she's been really into Mary, Sol, and Alexia, and that's fine, but that's, you know, that's true. The detriment of ruining. And she's like, well, it's giving. Thirsty, right? She goes, yeah, you know, middle school, like the new girl who comes in, and then she doesn't have any friends, so she hangs out with whoever's there. But then, like, she figures out who the popular girls are, and then she ditches those people and she. I just think it's so funny that Marisol. That Marisol and Alexia are considered the popular people. Like, they're literally outnumbered.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just because Alexa keeps on. It's because Alexia just keeps on declaring herself as the popular girl. She literally said, I'm the star. She said, I was born a star. I am the star. And then Marisol is just like a tag along because they keep the dangling carrot for Marisol of a friend of. So she's still waiting for her true glory to return. Turn. So until she can be a full fledged cast member, she is. And she just has to hang on to Alexia. So, yeah, I think that's how this all this whole cult of personality happened.

[Ronnie Karam]

So what would it take you to come back to our group? And she's like, tbd. I can't believe you just did that. Okay, you know what? I didn't like that answer. So I have had all of our text printed on these menus. Everybody's reading them right now. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Ronnie Karam]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.

[Ronnie Karam]

She can run my country. It's Angie McGovern.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Karlie Clapp.

[Ronnie Karam]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's diane Call Aaron McNicholas.

[Ben Mandelker]

She don't miss no Trickolas.

[Ronnie Karam]

Hava Nagila Weber.

[Ben Mandelker]

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo James. She has no less namey.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's our favorite streamer.

[Ronnie Karam]

Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera. Whatever will be. Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk? It's Leslie Plunkett, she gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kissarino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry, we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the berg.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is living with Michelle Vivian I.

[Ronnie Karam]

Love a YA Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's Raquel, yes we can. It's Savannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.

[Ronnie Karam]

Let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn skippy.

[Ben Mandelker]

It'S Tippy the bay area betches Betches.

[Ronnie Karam]

And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're.

[Ben Mandelker]

With Amy Baldwin somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with.

[Ronnie Karam]

Caitlin o' Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides Let's go into the the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen it's queen Laifa Nobody holds a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh she's Jill Hirsch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al.

[Ronnie Karam]

Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cloud she's the queen bee It's Sarah.

[Ronnie Karam]

Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out of.

[Ben Mandelker]

A cannon Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop lets take off with.

[Ronnie Karam]

Tamla playing It's always a good time when you're wasting time with bravo she ain't no shrinking violet couture we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining wondery in the wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.