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Ben Mandelker
Searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new Audible.
Ronnie Karam
Original from Lily Chu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title.
Ben Mandelker
This time Philippa is joined by her real life husband Stephen Pasquale from Rescue Me and American son.
Ronnie Karam
Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, a.k.a. the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico.
Ben Mandelker
Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her Summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels.
Ronnie Karam
Fake heiress Real secrets Listen to Rich.
Ben Mandelker
Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsommar Ah, summer is winding down. But you know what? It's good to get back into a routine and I think it's time to refresh my style for the new season. I'm looking for a lot of new stuff. I'm always looking for new stuff to refresh my style and the best place to do it is where I do it. Always Wayfair.
Ronnie Karam
I know Wayfair is exactly where I go for a nice little refresh. Whether it's my office, whether it's some dining room stuff. I love what Wayfair does.
Ben Mandelker
Wayfair is great. I use it for the outdoors. I use it for the indoors. One of my favorite things about it is I can afford to get stuff from there and get it put together so I'm not always having to sit here and put it together. People actually will come and put this stuff together and it all looks so, so good.
Ronnie Karam
Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget.
Ben Mandelker
Wayfair's huge selection of outdoor items makes it easy to find exactly what's right for you.
Ronnie Karam
Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.
Ben Mandelker
That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home Travis fell in love.
Nick Cannon
With the perfect woman. Beautiful understanding available 247 there was just one catch. She wasn't human. Binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now on Wonder.
Ronnie Karam
Who cares what happens when there's so.
Ben Mandelker
Much that crappens.
Ronnie Karam
Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just loved about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me in sty recovery is the one and only Ronnie. Karen.
Ben Mandelker
I swear, it's always something over here. Little mini eye surgery today. No bigs. They just flipped my eyelid upside down and cut into it. What the hell?
Ronnie Karam
Well, I am just happy that you still have one eye left to be able to see your very first mountain. Just like Casey on the Dynasty, I just want to see a Mountain. So McBee Dynasty, it's back. It continues, and we're talking about it today. But by the way, in case you missed it, we did Amazon Live this week. It was so fun. You can still go check out that broadcast that we did. And we made some really fun recommendations, and I highly recommend you looking at our recommendations. And we'll be back in two weeks with that. This coming week, we have on Monday, crappy hour at 5:30 Eastern, Western. I should say Pacific, 8:30 Eastern. And then we have Dwell. Hello this week. And a lot of people have been buzzing about the latest House Hunters episode, which featured a cougar. A cougar and her cub. And so we recapped it and it was really fun. So keep an eye on the ear out for that on Wondery plus. Plus, of course, Patreon is where you get to watch us not just listen. You can look at Ronnie taking a nice big gulp. I'm so jealous. I have what I would call cottonmouth at the moment because I keep hydrated.
Ben Mandelker
Coffee. Keep hydrated, y'. All.
Ronnie Karam
I am dehydrated. And that's just life. But anyway, you know what else is life? McBee dynasty. Because you know what? They've got a lot of living to do these. These. These yokels. So let's get into it, shall we?
Ben Mandelker
Let's do it. This is McBee Dynasty, season two, episode six. Never seen a rock so big. That's funny. That's a funny title. I cannot believe how excited that girl was to see a mountain. I mean, mountains are beautiful, don't get me wrong. But girl like, aim higher. You know what I mean? I can.
Ronnie Karam
I mean, she. Technically, a mountain is a very high aim. She aimed. She aimed high. It's true.
Ben Mandelker
But wow, Cole, really talk about men on Bravo. Getting away with dude doing the least, you know? And people say this show doesn't belong on Bravo. It's about a bunch of country people. That's as far as Bravo. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah. This show is about piece of shit men who do the bare minimum and get by. That is per. That is Bravo's brand. What are you talking about? This is like. This is made for Bravo.
Ronnie Karam
Yes, except for the fact that it's a terrible show. So anyway, it opens up and we. And we've just been at the oc.
Ben Mandelker
You are entitled to your wrong opinion.
Ronnie Karam
No, I. I'm very happy for the people that love it. So we. I wish them well. So we. Opening sequence. Missouri farmland. All the goods, education. Yeah, you know, there have been some entertaining episodes.
Ben Mandelker
I thought last week, I wish them a bath, Okay?
Ronnie Karam
I wish them so many things.
Ben Mandelker
I wish them well.
Ronnie Karam
How about this?
Ben Mandelker
You know what I wish they can bathe in?
Ronnie Karam
I wish them to understand how the fuck to deal with their stupid fucking combine. They're so busy driving it slowly through the street, getting erection off of their big machine, that they, A, crash into other combines or B, don't forget to put the wheels on properly. What is wrong with these people? You handle combines professionally and wheels don't just fall off of vehicles, sirs and ma'. Am.
Ben Mandelker
Their combines are an extension of what they want their penis to be. You know, it's a man thing. It's like, oh, look at me driving a combine. They don't know how to drive them. They fuck them up every single time. It's kind of like those guys with Teslas. Have you seen any of the. Any of the videos with the guys with the Tesla trucks who are like, yeah, I've got a Tesla truck. I'm going to show you how it takes down a picket fence and they start all the way at the end of the picket fence and they gun the gas and then it roll the. Well, you know what I mean? They gun the car and then it speeds over the electric fence thing by thing. And then they show under the Tesla truck and it's all punctured and ruined and leaking and shit's flying everywhere. It's the McBee kids with their combines.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, that sounds like also content that Jax Taylor will be making now that he's no longer on the Valley. That's gonna be his next evolution. Tesla. Tesla. Manliness. Content.
Ben Mandelker
So I'm rising from the flames oh, oh Please don't get in my way oh o oh I'm reaching higher planes oh, oh, oh, oh no one here.
Ronnie Karam
Is reaching higher planes ever. Not even Casey. Even though she gets to see a mountain today, she is not going on a higher plane. So we're at Jesse and Ali's house And Cole and Casey come by. They're going to have some takeout and they're going to have some lunch and they're going to gossip about their trip to the Ozarks where they all got wasted. And Casey is like, he missed out on a wholesome family trip. Wouldn't you say so, Kyle? He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He doesn't remember. It's like, yeah, well, I would like to see a video because I never felt it. Also, I wouldn't mind seeing Kyle's ass twerking like that. God, she really knows how to twerk, that girl. Right in my face. Oh, I would take it all day long.
Ben Mandelker
You need to see a video. Hills don't have cameras on their phone. Okay. And that was the real abused person on that trip, the hill that you tried. Yeah, he's stupid. So then we see flashbacks of things going on and Caleb being like, oh, you little bitch. And, you know, then we go back to the present and Casey's like, we were at Backwater Jackson. Cole was the drunkest I ever seen him in my entire life. I doubt that. Yeah, but I don't doubt that he was drunk, just that she's never seen it. Yeah, right. So Cole. Cole's like, well, just so you do everything right and you just sit there and you're trying to tell everybody. And Casey goes, you better calm down unless you want. You want a terrible night. Like, damn, I love pregnant Casey. God, I wish for her in season one. Because season one, she's just like, whatever. And this time she kind of acts like that, but then she's like, sit down. I said, sit down. And by the way, Cole is like, it just sucks when you do everything right. What did you do right exactly? You went out of town, you got shit faced, you got twerked on, you said you wanted to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass in front of your pregnant girlfriend. And then you beat up a hill. So please, please name when you started doing things right.
Ronnie Karam
Well, he put that wheel on the Kanban, right? Oh, wait, so then in case real.
Ben Mandelker
Nipple dribble, spoiler alert, you're a real spoiler bean dribbler.
Ronnie Karam
Dribble door. Dribble door over there. They got that dribble door around that one.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, we didn't get a day, did we?
Ronnie Karam
No, instead we got the stupid scene with them eating Jersey mics and talking about Ozarks were crazy. Like, great, thanks.
Ben Mandelker
No, but Ozarks were crazy. My children were out there trying their best to do what they can then some twerked on Cole's face and almost ruined their baby's childhood.
Ronnie Karam
I'm not sure that this family can.
Ben Mandelker
Get along at all.
Ronnie Karam
And between the one Targaryen that's up there in the large and the one and the other Targaryen that's getting drunk and the other Targaryen that's angry at both. Both of them. I don't know if this game of Thrones is ever gonna work out in the first place.
Ben Mandelker
Game of dribble doors.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, seriously.
Ben Mandelker
So Cole. Cole's like, well, it's just awkward. It's just awkward for me because I'll keep getting yelled at by everybody in case. Like, it's awkward for me when I'm the one dating the drunkest guy at the bar, making a fool out of him himself. That's what's awkward.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, so. So then Cole is like, well, good thing we live in a free country. Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert taxes.
Ben Mandelker
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
Ronnie Karam
Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert. Thank God we live in a free country. Guess even Colbert off my TV now.
Ben Mandelker
Anyway, Calla was standing over Steven Strad, limiting him and twerking.
Ronnie Karam
And so it's a liberal use of the word twerk. I would say it's more like Calla was bent over and she was sort of thrusting the air with her upper back maybe half an inch.
Ben Mandelker
She was trying to scratch her. The bottom of her spine on a tree. That's what it looks like. Like a cat.
Ronnie Karam
It looked like she was playing some weird bachelorette party game where she had a post it on her butt and she had to apply it to the bottom of a table. And so she did it.
Ben Mandelker
She was trying to unpin. She was trying to unpin the tail from the donkey is what she was.
Ronnie Karam
Trying to do, but she pinned it onto her butt. Donkey. I don't know what that word means, but I've been told liberals like to say it.
Ben Mandelker
So we see flashbacks of all of that stuff and all the fights and all that good stuff. And so Cole's like, well. And then she went on to say that Steven hadn't had to work for anything in his life, and mom pays for everything for him. I mean, what kind of woman would say something. Something true like that? And Casey's like, it was the worst fight I've ever seen in my life. Okay, that's a lie, too. Casey. Why is everything the most today? You know, he was the drunkest he's ever been. That was the worst fight I ever Seen in my life. Haven't you been to jail? I saw. I saw pictures of her. Like, mug shots of her. But I want to know why she went like, what did she get arrested for? I hope it was, like, drunk and disorderly.
Ronnie Karam
She tried to climb a stack of paper towels at Costco because she thought it was her first mountain.
Ben Mandelker
I just want to go to the mountains. She's drinking a Mountain Dew, crying like, oh, my God, finally I'm here. Finally here.
Ronnie Karam
She's looking at a stack of Coors with binoculars at the supermarket like, I found it. I found the mountains. So Jesse. Yeah, so Jesse shows up and. Or Jesse's there, and he. And she's like, yeah. And then. And then she comes up. They get into such a fight that Casey comes up and her stuff is all packed, so she Ubers and she leaves. And then she blocks Steven. And then he hasn't heard from her since. And Cole's like, I mean, I'm not gonna cause any more problems. Don't worry about me. I'm going to the mountains. Oh, whoops. Spoiled the surprise. Casey.
Ben Mandelker
So Casey. I looked up her arrest. In 2022, Casey was arrested for murder. Just kidding. Misdemeanor driving while intoxicated. I was hoping she'd, like, I don't know, done something interesting.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Like knocked over a combine.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Like, push someone down and push an old lady down in a crosswalk or something. Because I. I like when nice people, like, seemingly nice people turn out monsters. So I was hoping it'd be something like that, like selling illegal, illegally bred puppies out of her trunk or something.
Ronnie Karam
Speaking of monsters, we then go over to Calla, who's packing up her stuff from Steven's house that she already moved out of, but she's still gonna pack again. And this time she's just taking a full vase of flowers. She just is like, I'm gonna pack a base. I'm gonna pick a. That a vase of flowers into a box and move. I'm not. I'm like, lady, Okay, I know everyone on this show is a bad actor. Lord knows we have to sit through enough terribly scripted scenes with them fake fighting with each other. But do you also. Can you at least try to act with your packing? Can you at least try to pack the way a normal person would be? Like, I don't know, wrapping your vase in. In crepe paper or whatever. It's crepe paper, tissue paper, anything. Wrap it in something. I mean, has anyone ever in the history of vases ever packed it with the flower still inside and no protective material. Come on. Just try to actually act like you're in a. Doing something for real.
Ben Mandelker
She's putting, like, the microwave in there.
Ronnie Karam
The barbecue grill with stuff on it. Like, yeah, it's a lot. The odd bugs are on the grill back, and it all goes where everything must go.
Ben Mandelker
So she's like, yeah, everything that went down at Lake of the Ozarks was the final straw. Like, I know I've just given him so many chances, but, you know, I've just, like, been shitted on so much, and it's just making me crazy. Like, I have so much dirt on his family. She goes, I've been there for Steven so much, and I have so much shit on this family. He told me his father's being investigated by the FBI. Okay, listen, Kala, you're not a good girlfriend or a good person by saying, oh, I went through so much shit, and now I'm going to use it all against them, Betray everything they ever told him. That's not like. Why are you acting like you're Jesus on the cross right now? Okay? That's not being a good person, you dope. She's like, I'm such a good person. Now let me tell you everything he ever told me in confidence while sobbing because he thought his life was ending. God, these flowers smell like good.
Ronnie Karam
Blow your load. She's just blowing her load on this. She's like, he told me so much dirt. His father's being investigated by the FBI. I'm like, girl, use that information to get something. Don't just out and say it. You got to get. Get yourself a. A new hubcap for your car or something. I don't know. You just gave it out for free.
Ben Mandelker
Get a new base. Get a new base. Flowers. Something.
Ronnie Karam
Get fresh flowers in Dallas so that way you don't have to import them from Kansas City.
Ben Mandelker
And I love that she's doing all of this while she's like, saying, I'm not putting up with this anymore. Right after she's moving into an apartment that they're paying for and driving a car that they're paying for.
Ronnie Karam
Yes. And even though she's. And even though she already moved out of this house, she's still gonna have a moving out montage. I mean, the show's just sloppy at this point.
Ben Mandelker
Ben, she gave up her entire career of doing something or other for this. Okay? How dare you?
Ronnie Karam
I have an MBA in something or another, okay? The something or another sciences, which does include packing vases with flowers. It's A very difficult art.
Ben Mandelker
So she continued. Oh, got a little fly in here. That is disgusting. Doesn't that mean there's, like, poop in here or something?
Ronnie Karam
No, it just means a little fly got lost. I hate those little flies.
Ben Mandelker
They're the worst. I would rather a big fly because at least they've got some stones on them. It's the little ones that are always trying to elf on you, you know? Yeah, I want, like, a big fly. I like the ones that are like this big and they're like, I've seen things, you know, Those flies have been around the block. Yeah, they've been here. They're like, I'm gonna fly slowly. No one's killed me yet. And they're not about to. You kill them. You know, Obviously they can't finish.
Ronnie Karam
Get that. Rack it out. Yeah, a house fly. House fly is like a sturdy fly. They're like. They're like, good. And when they. When they land, they do like a little dance. They're almost mocking. They always do that. They. They always land. And then they, like, orient themselves in three different directions. Like, land. I have a routine. And then, like, all the other flies just land. You know what I don't like? Even worse than the fruit flies are those generic flies that are, like, small and kind of like heart shaped with their. Their wings make them heart shaped. They're just stupid. They have none of the charisma of a house fly. And yet they don't have, like. They just don't have any sort of person. Well, the fruit flies have no personality, but at least we know about them. But those flies don't even have a name. They're just like nameless flies. And they're easily.
Ben Mandelker
Flies have personalities. They hang out with gay guys all the time. Like, wonder why they're not in love with them.
Ronnie Karam
That's true.
Ben Mandelker
So they literally hang out on fruit all day. That's a personality. Okay, so she goes on to say that she's been helping someone, Stephen, through everything. He would cry every single day. I mean, you know, he can talk to me because my dad was in prison. My brother and sister have been to prison. So, I mean, I get it. I know what it's like.
Ronnie Karam
I know what it's like when someone rats them out and they all wind up going to jail anyway.
Ben Mandelker
Calla's like the lead. The lead witness for everybody, for the prosecution, for all of her family members. She's like, they tried to fuck with me, and now look where they all are. Happy Father's Day.
Ronnie Karam
Calla would Be a lot funnier if they just played those Law and Order, like synthesizer tones every time she talked. Because, you know, like whenever, like witnesses say things on Law and Order, there's always something that's like, she's like, yeah, I know about Steven. Yeah, he has Dad's being investigated by the FBI. What's it to you? Like, I think I would enjoy like a Law and Order. What am I saying? I would never enjoy her in any capacity.
Ben Mandelker
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
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Ronnie Karam
So then we go to a place called Pasta Villa. Not to be confused with Villa Rosa Villa Blanca. Or anywhere. Or Pasta Villa, for that matter. Vanderpump Villa. So Stephen and Galena are in a very important meeting.
Ben Mandelker
Not that Millie. Vanilla Millie.
Ronnie Karam
Pasta Vanilli. So they sit down at Pasta Villa, home of the most authentic pasta of whatever building is most of it.
Ben Mandelker
I'll tell you this, that place better be legit because it was established in 2023. Yeah, 2023.
Ronnie Karam
This is 12 months of. Of memories and authenticity.
Ben Mandelker
Pasta Villa established 2023. Okay, well, your new location. You know, let's hold off on the established. Maybe. Like, let's. Let's give that. Let's give that a few years, maybe.
Ronnie Karam
Nothing about. Nothing about this place looks like a villa. I'd also like to add. It's so good.
Ben Mandelker
Do they even eat pasta? I don't even think. There was no pasta in this. It's all steak. You know, this place.
Ronnie Karam
It's all meat and porcupine.
Ben Mandelker
So what state is this in again? I forget.
Ronnie Karam
Missouri.
Ben Mandelker
Missouri.
Ronnie Karam
Missouri.
Ben Mandelker
Missouri. Okay. So Steven and Galena go to a restaurant, and Steven's like, what is up, Galena? I like that jacket. I've learned to always open a conversation with a woman by complimenting their looks or their clothes, because that's what women lack. Did you fall for it? Yes or no? Just tell me yes or no. Are you drunk? And she's like, oh, thank you. It is fun, isn't it? Look at this fun frill outfit I did for season two. I'm trying to show lighter, more fun. Galena.
Ronnie Karam
Well, that is really. That is really wonderful. I really think this emotional roller coaster that you're on and that I'm on with Calla, it's really heightened. She ended up moving down to Dallas, and we're going to be friends. She goes, wow.
Ben Mandelker
Wow.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, well, you were supposed to say a better line there, but that's fine. Anyway, it started to hit Big Wow. Okay, well. Big wow. Okay.
Ben Mandelker
Pasta. Pasta Villa. Wow. Hey, can we get a refill on the pasta here? What kind of villa is this? Pasta Villa. No refill, please. Wow. Pasta refill. Rigatoni. Wow.
Ronnie Karam
They. They have unlimited duck sauce here. I don't have the heart to tell them that's not quite, you know, Italian, but that's fine. So it's starting to hit me that, you know, Cal and I are really broken up. Cal and I are just going to be friends. My loyalty lies right here on this ranch with this ranch dressing. I am loyal to this dressing that they gave me with my pasta here at Pasta Villa. Anyway, my family I will defend them till the day that I die.
Ben Mandelker
She needs to work through mourning her sister, and I need to work through managing the stress of nobody in this company being able to drive a combine. So basically the same thing. Galena's like, I hear you. It has been rough on me, too. But I'm getting there one day. Every step closer with rigatoni.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, not to get too deep about it, but do you ever wonder if the universe is just, like, encapsulated by, like, a marble and there's, like, a really big thing, and we're just like a plaything to it? Like, we are like a house fly compared to some big, giant entity. Okay. And also, not to get so deep about something else, I think avoiding contact with Masha would be best for your mental health. Because these waves of ups and downs and lefts and rights and sideways and left and right and pastas and villas, they ain't beneficial for you or the company. And mostly, I care about you as a person. And by care about you as a person, I'm scared you're going to destroy the company from the inside out. Sort of like this pasta is doing to me right now. Is there a bathroom nearby?
Ben Mandelker
So you think it might not be good for contact with Masha? Probably not. So I can maybe just shoot? I can shoot. This is from far away. No, you cannot shoot Masha. Okay? You're not going to be able to have contact with Masha. That would be a bullet making contact. But I can burn house. Yes, I can burn house. That. You can burn down Masha's house. I run her over. This is not touching with hands. I just run her down.
Ronnie Karam
What about throwing stars? Like Turtle, who is ninja in sewers. I control star. Like, now. That. That's a terrible idea. I do not trust you around a throwing star either. That. That's. That counts as contact. Okay. You know, it's hard for me to see what my dad is doing to hurt you. And. And it hurt my mom, too, you know? And she goes, your mom had it worse. Because for it to happen for 28 years. 20 years, whoever was the slut that was. That was the other woman to your mother. God. May she die in a rotting coffin under a pile of other rotting coffee. It was you. It was you, Galina. Oh, that's right.
Ben Mandelker
This is right. This is terrible. They're bad. Me bad Galena.
Ronnie Karam
My bad.
Ben Mandelker
My bad. There are times, you know, I think that I'm getting karma for what I did to Christy. This is so funny to me. And I'm gonna just cover my eyes so I could at least do it with half my face. But Galena, man, she squints her eyes, and she's got these eyes that. She's killing you. I mean, I don't know. She's got. She can do this brutal thing with her eyes. It's so good.
Ronnie Karam
And she goes, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
I think sometimes I'm getting karma for what I did to Christy. I know I absolutely hurt her. She was his wife. I can't even imagine. And then she just goes, karma, maybe. Yes, yes, yes. That is.
Ronnie Karam
Yes.
Ben Mandelker
That's a good way to put it, Golita. I love that it's just now dawning on her, like, maybe not great what I did to Christine.
Ronnie Karam
Maybe.
Ben Mandelker
Maybe not.
Ronnie Karam
I've been. I've been. I've been taking therapy in karma Villa.
Ben Mandelker
This person gives me advice, you know, season two Botox, so.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I don't want. I don't want this stress to affect you to the point where it's compromising across all the companies because I'm having Mom and Cole tell me all. Tell me to just fire you because it's not worth the headache. But you know better than. Than anyone that the risky. That risky situation the business is into.
Ben Mandelker
Right?
Ronnie Karam
Right. Wink, wink, B, B I, F A. B, I, F A. That's pig Latin. You calling me a pig? Never mind. It's going to take, you know, our absolute best to climb out of the hole that this company is in, that the liberals put us in, I'd like to add. And we won't be able to do it if we're stuck in an emotional low. So I need you to move on. Deal. Because you're better off that way.
Ben Mandelker
Deal with it. I'm killing Masha.
Ronnie Karam
No, that was not the deal.
Ben Mandelker
Well, thank you. It was great meeting with you, and I just want to stress. I really do like that jacket. Thank you, woman. Do you understand? It's like, thank you. You are quite a gentle man. So then we go to Jesse.
Ronnie Karam
Steven clearly looked up chat GPT when having a tough conversation with an employee. How are you? How can you be firm and stern and also nice? It's like, well, be sure to begin and end the conversation with a compliment that echoes the first compliment.
Ben Mandelker
So we go to Jesse and Ali's city house, the big city, taxis flying by, pigeons, you know, reading newspapers on the street. And Christie comes over, and she's like, jesse, what. What's that car that's out in the garage? I just happened to take a look in your garage because I'M your mother. And that's what we do. Wanted to make sure my son's garages are safe. So what was that car that's out there? And Jesse's like, I didn't know what the plan was, but dad asked me to keep it here. It's. It's Masha's car. So that Porsche is Masha's car? That is her car. Wow, wow, wow. Nice car. Nice ride. Masha and Cole's like, don't tell Colleen Galena, though, because she. She gonna keep beating them in. I'm the one that has to drive it to the window place.
Ronnie Karam
Luckily, we got a lot of them here in the city. So then we go to Stephen and he's driving, and he is on the phone with Jesse, and there's a brisket situation with Arthur. Arthur Bryant's barbecue. So Stephen is telling Jesse. He's like, hey, I'm on my way down to Arthur Bryant's to hopefully see about the brisket we sent them. Because, yeah, I thought they want the meat trend because they said that they didn't want too much of the brisket, like to be touched with a knife. So I thought, well, maybe it turns out maybe we cut off too much cuz. Also, cuz it turns out we actually just filleted into like, thin, like cold cuts and then gave it to them to braise or whatever they do down there. Smoke it, whatever. Anyway, I gotta go fix the situation because the entire farm depends on it. The entire. The entire fate of western civilization depends on these cuts of meat.
Ben Mandelker
They wanted to make faster sandwiches at the barbecue place. My idea was cutting them so thin they look like bacon. So I basically turned them in beef bacon. Turns out they didn't like it. Now, am I going to change them? No, probably not. But I had to give it a good try. I called him right away and I said, arthur, I love your jacket. Love your jacket.
Ronnie Karam
Now I want to talk about your brisket techniques. You spend a lot of time, a lot of time smoking them. What? As far as I can reckon, that's eight hours doing that. Have you ever thought maybe instead of smoking for eight hours, thin slices of bacon, real thin, 30 seconds, I think. I don't know. Just. This could be. It's gonna be good.
Ben Mandelker
He wanted smoked brisket. I put cigarettes in the brisket and I lit the brisket. I lit the cigarettes, they smoked. Didn't like it. Didn't like it. So I said, you're.
Ronnie Karam
That's on me.
Ben Mandelker
So much smaller with that jacket. What a jacket. So I saved us. I basically saved us.
Ronnie Karam
I brought a very tiny jacket that I was gonna give to Cole's baby someday. But it fits the brisket perfectly. And I'm gonna put it on the brisket. I'm say, that's a nice jacket, and I mean that.
Ben Mandelker
Wait a minute. That's what I get for doing everything, right? I guess. Lose the jacket. So then we go see the clip over at Arthur Bryant Barbecue, and Andy's like, I appreciate you coming down here. I needed to see what the meat looks like. OK. To take a look at this. Okay. At 185 without the fat on it. How much shrinkage there was. Look at this thing. This looks like a penis that has not wanted a vagina for over 30 years. This is an old penis brisket. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Ronnie Karam
Okay, so Steven's like, absolutely. This is 100% on me. You know, I understand that you do not appreciate my cigarettes wrapped in bacon made of your brisket. I thought it was innovative. I thought this way. No fat, lots of smokiness, Everything you could possibly want. It's on me. Mama's thinking, though, maybe next time cigars. I think cigars might be the way to go. So that's where I will go, and I will do it for you. This is on me.
Ben Mandelker
Now, this might be outside of my pay grade, but I wanted to suggest turkey sandwiches. Turkey sandwiches. Just change it. Just change it.
Ronnie Karam
Just change it. Sandwiches, okay? Because we got turkeys. Wait, hold on one second. I just got a text from Jesse. We don't have turkeys. We'll get you turkeys.
Ben Mandelker
Galena has killed Masha's turkeys. Okay, well, I will be back with the brisket tomorrow.
Ronnie Karam
Have you considered smoked combine wheel? Because we. We got a lot of those. They. They roll off our combines. And what we like to do is put them over a spit and then after about a few. Few hours of brazing, just slice them up real juicy. Real juicy. Tire and such.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So I gotta keep some fat on it, man. This is Arthur Bryant. We ain't fucking around over here. This is the real deal. This is the church of barbecue, okay? People don't kneel down to take your turkey sandwiches. And you're smoking skinny brisket. This ain't. This ain't 90s model brisket. We want some fat, fat brisket here. Do you understand? We want a Dove commercial brisket. We want all kinds in this. He's like, okay, I'll do it. And guess what? I'm gonna cover the loss on this, since it's my fault. And then I'm gonna blame Cole for losing money in corn. Do you understand? That's where we're gonna go from here.
Ronnie Karam
Oh. So now we're back at the city house, and somehow we're able to hear the dialogue with the sound of that elevated train going right by the window. And Christy is like, oh, oh, look, Stephen walked in with a brown paper bag. That's not a good sign because we all know when someone brings a brown paper bag, there's always a head inside. Mother, what are you talking about? Why do you say that?
Ben Mandelker
Well, I'm just saying that Gwyneth Paltrow is never going to be bothering anybody again in this family. He's like, well, I have brought some meat. There is seven pounds of brisket, seven pounds of burnt end. So that's great. Basically, our meat was cut so lean, they had to cook it 10 degrees hotter just to get the taste the same as theirs. So they cut and their cut and our cut were the same size when they started cooking. So we pre trained a little bit too much. Is anybody tired of talking about meat yet? I could talk about it all day. Good talk. We're having good meat.
Ronnie Karam
They said. They said this meat is more damaged than your mama's hair. And I was like, don't say those sore jokes. But now that I look at you, Ma, your hair is pretty damaged. Have you thought about cooking your hair at 10 degrees cooler?
Ben Mandelker
That's good. You know, I should have called Arthur Bryant a long time ago. I just cut too much fat out. I cut too much fat out. All right, well, burnt ends for coal and avocado for Mom. All right.
Ronnie Karam
I brought burn ends for your split ends, Mom.
Ben Mandelker
Otherwise, don't forget, I brought burnt ends, otherwise known as mom walking past a beauty salon. Okay, let's all sit down.
Ronnie Karam
Burnt ends, also known as. What happened to Masha's chickens after Galina was there? They came to a burnt. And remember when we went to Kansas City and we went. We got Kansas City barbecue, and everyone was like, you got to get the burnin. You got to get the burnin. And we thought they were saying. I thought they were saying burnin, like, burn it. I thought it was like one word spelled B, E, R, N E, R, N. Burnin or burnin, maybe. No, second R. Yeah. And they were saying burnt ends the entire time.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
God. God, life.
Ben Mandelker
I ate everything in that place. The Mac and cheese, the potato salad, the col. Saw the bread. They gave you those. Didn't they give you like the Wonder Bread type. Brad. Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
What a. Yeah, what a place. Was it called a Q45 or something like that? It was great, but it wasn't Arthur Jeans.
Ben Mandelker
It was called Heaven. That's what it was called.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
I said, gabriel, you better stop blowing that horn. I got to get to work. He'll stop the blow. Feed me some more burning.
Ronnie Karam
So Cole says, growing up in Kansas City, we like the fayette on our meat, and that's what gives it the flavor, man. So I don't know what Stephen's doing with Kala, right? Just bony lady over there. Anyway, Steven's trying to turn from crop to meat so fast that all he wants to do is do that as fast as possible. So I'm not surprised he did something stupid like cut too much fat off the beef. God, I hate when he does things stupid. Cut to. Well, looks like another wheel fell off the corn combine, Steven.
Ben Mandelker
Stupid Cole. My God, what a fuck up. Cole is the jacks of this show. He is 100. He's not as hot as Jax was back when he started, but he is definitely the jacks of the show. What a. What a lose. So we cut back to the present, and Steven's like, well, we are behind, and we had a bunch of meat to thaw to get to Arthur Bryant, so we already did £6,000 of that. Are we sick of meat yet? And everyone's like, oh, God. Well, we can't afford to lose. Arthur Bryant's okay. The crops look this good this year, right? Because Cole told me, and he's trustworthy, so knock on wood. But we're still $80 million in debt with car washes. Dad is gone. I got Galena all over right now because she can't emotionally handle anything mentally. You know what? It's. You know, it's so hard when someone doesn't have emotional in their mental. That's a problem.
Ronnie Karam
Hold on. Hold on one second. I'm getting a phone call. God damn it. All right. Turns out we cut off all the bristles off the brushes in the car wash, we went too far. That's on me. We just lost $45 million on that car wash down in Kansas City. All right?
Ben Mandelker
I got out that when I told them to cut the bumpers off of the cars as they were coming into the wash, that was bad. That has ended up costing us a lot of money, y'. All, I'm so sorry. Hold on. I will take the responsibility for that.
Ronnie Karam
I'm getting a phone call from Kara down at the car wash. Okay, Kara, you're on. Hi, Savin. The news here is that the.
Ben Mandelker
The.
Ronnie Karam
The brisket you had to take back from Arthur Bryant's? So people don't like that. You attach that to the car wash brushes. And a lot of people have broken windows now. So you're gonna have to fix a lot of people's windows because you tried to wash their cars with spinning briskets.
Ben Mandelker
Also, we are getting some complaints that when the soap dispenses from the shooters, they're actually shooting out some kind of animal fat. Well, I was just trying to use what we lost to try and make up. No, I don't think that's gonna work at the car wash. Okay. I fully take responsibility for that, by the way. No, we're just on the phone, but I can tell. I love your top. I love your top.
Ronnie Karam
I'm getting reports. You know that vacuum thing at the end of the car wash that, like, goes onto your windshield and looks like a robot? It's been spitting out barbecue sauce. Well, I figured after all that brisket in the fat, you want, like, a little something just to sweeten it up, right? I don't think I'm wrong on that one. I'm not gonna take responsibility for that one. Beautiful jacket. Beautiful, beautiful jacket.
Ben Mandelker
So he's like, yeah, you know, I just don't know that Galini can take it. I mean, I told her three times I liked her jacket, and she didn't even hug me. So am I losing my touch, or is that woman crazy? And Chrissy's like, well, we might need to start looking for someone else. Yeah, just. I don't know who else. I mean, who else could we trust that was a maid five years ago at our home to run our business?
Ronnie Karam
Well, you know, people are replaceable. You may not know this. I'm actually not your biological mother. I was recast about five years ago. That's why none of you look like me.
Ben Mandelker
Wendy Malik was supposed to be playing me, but unfortunately, she got a better job on something called Apple tv, which just sounds like a vote for Kamala to me. But, yeah, I'm new here. But I'll tell you what. I still have and will always have Burn hands. Always.
Ronnie Karam
People don't realize that my CV is quite impressive. I was the third daughter in Charles in charge. Yes, yes, that's right. I'll just let you think about that. Anyway, I love being on your program now, and I will get back to being your mother.
Ben Mandelker
I do not know how the business is doing, but I do know because of Wendy Malik, how Harrison Ford is doing. So there's something. So Stephen's like, well, after seeing how dad is, she talked about how much she respects you, mom, and she really wants to maybe meet with you. Wouldn't that be fun? We're on a TV show. You want to do that? And she's like. And Christy tells us, yeah, I was pretty mad about Galena. And the producer says because she was sleeping with Stephen while you were technically married. And she's like, oh, oh, no. For years and years. Yeah. When I found out that was happening, I immediately filed for divorce, and it affected the kids. It still does. It still still does commercials. Here comes one right now. So she tells us the Galena lore, which is that Galena was hired as the family cleaner, so she was cleaning the house. And we see pictures of Galena looking 16.
Ronnie Karam
Yes, on a good day. Is she there? Is Galina there?
Ben Mandelker
I just got so scared. Do you hear that? Oh, my God, how embarrassing.
Ronnie Karam
Was there a thump?
Ben Mandelker
I think beer sat on the remote control and turned the TV on in some action movies. I'm so sorry, Galina. Wing it, Ben. Wing it.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, I'm going to take it over from here. So Galena was a youngin. And we see these pictures of her. She's, like, making cupcakes. She's in the kitchen. She's smiling with this creepy smile. She's got little pigtails. And Christy is basically saying that, like, the Galena was there for a long time, and then when she found out what happened, that she immediately filed for divorce. And, yes, it affected the kids, etc. But, yeah, we can see that Chrissy does not want to have a conversation with Galena. But we also know that Chrissy is thinking, well, a man said I should talk to Galena, my mortal enemy. And who am I to disagree with a man? So guess I'll do it.
Ben Mandelker
Well, yeah, I got. I guess I have to do it for the TV show at some point. But, yeah, this whole Galena thing of being the maid. And then you see her looking all young with, like, literal pigtails, like, smiling really big. We've never seen Galena smile that big. I mean, it was just so crazy seeing the evolution. Like, she really worked her way up to be the head of the company and took over everything. And the husband. I mean, girl, that's crazy. And it's also, like, truly the American dream. Like, in a way, I'm so proud of Galena. You know, I know that sounds sick and people are going to be mad, but I mean, talk about hustle. Geez. By the way, speaking of hustle, Beeler was literally sitting on the remote control on button while he was licking his nuts.
Ronnie Karam
So thanks. You were like, bueller, get the off that remote. Love that jacket on you, by the way.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, love your jacket. Love your jacket.
Ronnie Karam
So now we go over to Jesse and Ali's city house, and Masha arrives, and she's like, oh, God. Had to walk by. So many people on the sidewalk. City house. Goodness. So much commotion. Anyway, you want me to take my shoes off? And Jesse's like, no, it's fine. I wear my boots inside. You know, that. Whatever that. What's his girl's name, Ali. She's like, jesse with his boots. I just washed this floor.
Ben Mandelker
I was like, thanks for giving video evidence that Ali's gonna use in divorce court soon to take everything from you. And rightfully so. So Masha is just like, ah, yeah, look, I still have shoes on. And Allie's like, well, we did take good care of your car, Masha. Why is it everybody's job to do to take care of Steve Sr's affairs? Like, it's ridiculous. It's crazy. So we go out to see the car in the garage. She does indeed have, like, a Porsche SUV thingy. And the back of it is so dirty. Steve's the kind to just drop off a muddy car, you know? That's so Steve Sr. Yeah, I was.
Ronnie Karam
That's what I was thinking, too, was that I was more offended by how dirty this car was. And I say this as someone who currently has a very dirty car, but I have intentions to clean it. I don't think these guys have intentions. And if anything, Steve is. Doesn't like, not Steve. Doesn't Jesse say, like, yeah, I put a smiley face in the dirt, in the dust or something? Like.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it's filthy. I mean, you own car washes, and you can't wash your girlfriend's car before you deliver it.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, that's like. That's what makes it really nice.
Ben Mandelker
That man respects you.
Ronnie Karam
You.
Ben Mandelker
You know, so have fun with that, Masha.
Ronnie Karam
That's how bad these people are at business, that they literally are complaining about being in debt and are doing nothing to promote their stupid car wash on their show.
Ben Mandelker
Exactly. Like, show, show them being, like, going through the car wash because I. I treat my women right, and that's why I wash the Porsches. I give them before I give them back.
Ronnie Karam
That's right. So Jesse and Ally. I'm sorry. No. Casey and Ally go to have a conversation by A fence. And as you do, you know.
Ben Mandelker
You know what we should do? Let's. Let's walk about a block and lean on a fence.
Ronnie Karam
Casey's like, let's. Let's go to fences. And Ali's like, oh, thank God. I love August Wilson. You know, living here in the city, I am exposed to so much culture now. Ah, man, the fence girl.
Ben Mandelker
You know, Ally has not sat and watched Fences. There's not a lot of guarantees in life, but that is one. One. That is one. So Casey's like, well, yeah, real hard. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, man.
Ronnie Karam
I can't. I can't. I'm just gonna.
Ben Mandelker
You thought better.
Ronnie Karam
We're gonna move on.
Ben Mandelker
Casey's like, it's real hard when Cole starts drinking. Ever since we found out I'm pregnant, he's been a lot better to me and treating me right, but, you know, it's just the drinking that makes me mad. And, you know, I used to be able to put up with it, but I don't know if I could stay with him after the baby's born. Like, oh, okay, okay. Casey, I do not believe you. You're having a baby with Cole, of all people. Like, come on, Casey. I want better for you.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, you're. You're having a baby with. With a man whose name shares the same name as a. As a dying energy source. That is. This. That is the metaphor for you right now. Okay, cool. It's not coming back. So. So now we go to a farm field because Uncle Jimmy and Cole, people are watching a cow give birth. Am I? Please. I already watched City Slickers when I was in sixth grade. I do not need to watch another calf being born.
Ben Mandelker
Really? During my pop culture, furious that I didn't get the full cowbird. They kept. They were like, oh, I'm sorry. This is sensitive for tv. We don't have that in the TV sensitivity rating. We don't want to have to write it in there. We do have cursing, smoking, abuse, and jacket compliments warnings. So I don't really want to add this. I'm like, I want to see the cow birth. Why are you making the cow turn around? They're like, turn around. You're on camera. This is. Is a family show.
Ronnie Karam
I. I saw. I've seen my cow. My. I've seen my cow. My cow birthing once. Actually, several times. Because I actually watched City Slickers a lot because I used to love it when I was a kid. I don't need to see it over and over again. Okay, I get it. I Feel bad for the calf. I mean, you got this calf that's born and it comes into this big, beautiful world, and the first thing it sees is coal.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And then a staple gun so they can mark, you know, they can tag it. Welcome to the world. You can't even stand up yet. You're ours.
Ronnie Karam
Cole's like, I sure like the way that calf was twerking.
Ben Mandelker
So he's like, I'm not. I'm literally gonna eat your ass when you're older. Because I'm gonna cook it and sell it to Arthur Bryant.
Ronnie Karam
Now, little thing, don't eat too much because you're. You're going down to Kansas City someday.
Ben Mandelker
So Cole's like, wow, that cow's over there. Everything's getting a lot. A little out of hand. Oh, he's talking to Uncle Jimmy and he's like, hey, Uncle Jimmy. You know, things got out of out of hand in Lake O. Sharks. And you know why I blame that for? Cause you know who wasn't there? Aunt Darla. Aunt Darla wasn't there. And Uncle Jimmy's like, well, day drinking, you know, may take some time to rebuild that trust. You know, you just gotta think, how would you treat your mom? You gotta treat your mom a lot differently than you treat your brothers, your dad. Flowers help. That's what most men do when they're in the doghouse. You get them flowers. Darla loves flowers.
Ronnie Karam
All right. How would I treat my mom? Okay, so I guess I'll go home and I'll see Casey, and I'll ignore everything she says and make her do things for me.
Ben Mandelker
Great.
Ronnie Karam
Thanks for the advice.
Ben Mandelker
Wait a minute. I just impregnated my mama. You did? I can't believe I did that. I'm so sick. I'm going to church. Like, come back here.
Ronnie Karam
Cole.
Ben Mandelker
Cole, stop running away from me. Flowers. Cole, flowers.
Ronnie Karam
Cole, don't treat your mama like your girlfriend. Treat your girlfriend like your mama. Oh, this poor guy. He won't ever get it straight. Don't worry. I'm not the biological mother, so it's not incest. Don't you worry, everyone.
Ben Mandelker
Don't worry. Wendy, Malik just had to go to work explaining to Harrison Ford why she's pregnant. But, you know, I'd like to thank you anyway for your advice, Uncle Jimmy. Tell Darla hi.
Ronnie Karam
Are Wendy and Malik are. Wendy Malik as a. Wendy and Malik are Wendy Malik and Harrison Ford on a show together?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think they're on that show on Apple tv, the therapy show.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, wow. That's.
Ben Mandelker
I'm pretty sure. Because we keep making. We keep making Winnie Malik jokes. They're in a show called Shrinking, and they play love interests. Okay? And you know how I. Because we bring up Wendy Malik so much for Real Housewives of Orange County. And someone was like, you guys are making it sound like Wendy doesn't work. And Wendy works, but she saw Apple TV with Harrison Ford. I was like, okay, Wendy, yes. Gotta give Wendy her. Her cred.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. We will always give Wendy Malik cred. It's just Heather Dubrow who doesn't. Because they are bitter enemies, according to us, and not based on any truth.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
So back to the office. Let's go to the office. So Stephen has. He's. He's coming out to talk to Cara, the perpetually terrified.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, God, she was terrified. Oh, he's coming. He's coming. He's coming. I gotta go, Mom. I gotta go, Mom. Like, hello, Cara. So before I compliment your blouse, I just want to ask you, do you have the yield totals for all the trucks? She goes, yeah, I do. It's at. I'm saying this as positively as I can. Do you want a mint? I have mints here on the front of the desk there for you.
Ronnie Karam
Just tell me. Tell me. Tell me the yield. Tell me the yield, Kara.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, the yield is gum. I have gum. Thank you.
Ronnie Karam
I swear to God. I swear to God I will never compliment your dress ever again if you do not give me this yield right now. Okay, on the count of three, the yield is.
Ben Mandelker
Puppies, sunshine. Carrot, trampoline.
Ronnie Karam
Okay, hold on one second. I'm gonna. I'm just. Hold on. Let me just go into another room and crush this bottle of ranch sauce. Okay, I am back and I am calm. Please tell me, what is the yield?
Ben Mandelker
It's 150. It's 150. The yield is 150.
Ronnie Karam
God damn it.
Ben Mandelker
God damn it. One hundred and 50.
Ronnie Karam
That's like 200 bucks an acre less in revenue than we expected. There is no way we're going to be able to cover our loan payment with that. How could those numbers be so off? How could they be so off? It was supposed to be 150. Let me tell you something. At this rate, 150 bushels, okay? I was told it's gonna be 200. 200 bushels and guess what, guess what. But there's nary it, Narya. 200 bushels and nary a peck because this is 150 bushel of corn, okay? And it ain't gonna make that 500000 bushel. A pet contract.
Ben Mandelker
Okay?
Ronnie Karam
I am sick of it. I am done with it. I am mad. I am cutting the fat off this bushel.
Ben Mandelker
I am be done with that bushel on the pack. Hug around your neck.
Ronnie Karam
Hug.
Ben Mandelker
Rancher neck.
Ronnie Karam
No.
Ben Mandelker
Kara.
Ronnie Karam
I told you a million times I am seeing someone. Although I am single right now. So I will take a hug around the neck.
Ben Mandelker
Okay. Here's a hood.
Ronnie Karam
Put your arms. Okay. That feels nice. Feels real nice.
Ben Mandelker
I love you. I love you. Okay. So Cole. Now see this is where Steven's. Like I told you. Cole's an irresponsible nitwit idiot. I never should have let him do nothing in this company. You're running the company. And this man went off and bought lands you didn't approve of and told you it's going to be 200 an acre. And you believed him? What is wrong with you? Maybe you're not fit to run this company because. No. No person worthy of running a company would believe a word that comes out of Cole's mouth.
Ronnie Karam
Sir. Yeah. Mainly because all the words that come out of Cole's mouth sound like this. Because it's. There's no lips or teeth.
Ben Mandelker
Does that estimation have any teeth in it? Okay. It only has teeth in it. Does it have any lips? It does not have. It's only teeth. Okay. I believe him. I believe him. Then.
Ronnie Karam
Companies can't just buy farms like a Starbucks run. You don't just like buy a farm. You know. If it's a company. Things have to be signed off on. Like you signed off on this. Like you don't just like surprise by a farm on behalf of a company. So this whole thing is in the first place. This whole bushel. This bushel mess. Guess what? I'm 50. 50 bushels short also. And by bushels I mean brain cells because of this stupid family.
Ben Mandelker
Oh. So Galene. Galena has come in during this time and he's like. I cannot believe Colt did this. Can you believe it? I mean bushels. Pegs, bugs. Next. And she's like, yeah. Something has to change. Something has to change. She's like, not your jeans though. Those are adorable. But at this rate 150 bushel of corn ain't gonna make that 500 contracts. What are we gonna do? This is why Cole never should have done nothing. So then we go to Cole and Casey walking together or work in the barn or whatever. And Cole's like. I think I got a good plan. I'm going to take us a little honey. A little Baby moon. You ever been on a baby moon in the mountains before? She's like, no, I've never had a baby. I've never been to the moon or to the mountains. He's like, yeah, she's always wanted to see the mountains, so I'm going to do it.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God, I can't believe I get to have my baby on the moon at a mountain. So he's like, you know, I acted like an idiot, put up there one small step for man, one smaller step for a little baby. So girls, like, I acted like an idiot in the Ozarks, punching hills and whatnot. And I want to show Casey I'm putting her and our family first. She's never been to the mountains before. She's always wanted to go to the mountains. She's also said she always wants want to go on the moon. So I never been great with girls or moons or mountains. So I get that from my dad. And I thought, I can make it right. We're take. We're going to outer space.
Ben Mandelker
So he gives her kind of this half ass, like, I should be better. So I'm going to take you to the mountains because you're pregnant and all, you know, and, you know, account for me being drunk on the Ozarks or whatever. And she's like, wow, I just wish there was accountability. And he'd say, hey, I messed up, but I do get to go to the mountains. It's gonna be magical. Mountains are supposed to be like hills, but pointier. I can't wait. Just can't wait.
Ronnie Karam
All right, little lady, I'm gonna treat you right. We're gonna hop on a regional flight, a state over and go to Colorado.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my gosh. I know. It's gonna be fun because we're going on a plane called Spirit.
Ronnie Karam
They do charge extra for the baby. It's considered carry on.
Ben Mandelker
Probably knowing those. So, like, does your pregnant belly fit inside of this trial bin before you get on the plane?
Ronnie Karam
Are you going on a regular trip or a baby moon? It's a baby moon. Okay, that will cost an extra $25. Yeah. Celebratory personalities. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Stephen finds Cole working on a tractor. Whatever. Like anybody believes that. He's like, oh, I just went over the yields with Kara. Do you know how hard she hugged me? I have hickeys on my back. That's how hard. And any chance those numbers are going to come up because we are under, and we got a $6 million payment due by November, and there is no way we're going to make it. Even if I sold all of the mints that Kara gave me into my pocket, we cannot make that yield.
Ronnie Karam
Now it's your turn to reply to me. It's your line.
Ben Mandelker
Oh.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I've been tracking and we should be good. We might have the numbers we need next year. I'm gonna keep the combines rolling. They're not gonna stop. Because you know what? Elon Musk made combines that don't need drivers.
Ben Mandelker
I am sick of next year and farming. All you hear is next year, next year, next year. Ozarks is one thing, because you know what? I went on a trip to the Ozark, but, you know, now I hear you're having during harvest, during a baby. What are you doing? Baby moon during harvest. What. What the fuck is a baby moon anyway? What is that? Is that where you just. You. You take your baby out there and you just pull down its diaper and it shows everybody it's. But we don't do that in this family.
Ronnie Karam
Well, as far as I know, when two moons love each other, sometimes they get very intimate. And nine months later, congratulations, you have a baby moon.
Ben Mandelker
I just told my guys, like, you know, they gotta keep cutting, and I just gotta go for two days because I'm trying to put my family first before I cheat on my pregnant girlfriend next week in Nashville. According to the previous.
Ronnie Karam
No, you.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. You act like you want to run the farm, but here you are putting your relationship first. You said you want a nameplate on my door. Well, I'm not taking your problems when you're gone. Okay, I'm not gonna take on your problems. He's like, good, because you won't have to deal with none of my problems. Guess what will have to everyone else when the wheel falls off.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Ronnie Karam
My combine.
Ben Mandelker
It's like you can't even deal with your own problem. So Steven storms off. I mean, this guy is like, just admit that you up and try and make it better. But it's Cole. So he's like, oh, you suck more. So then.
Ronnie Karam
Wait, one more thing. Cole, get your face back right here. You stand right here. I'm gonna say this to your face, and I'm not afraid to say it, you stupid melted candle of a man. Like your jacket. Okay. Have fun.
Ben Mandelker
Thank you. Actually, I like Stephen now. I like Stephen. I don't know how he did that. I don't know. So then we see Casey and Cole traveling to their baby moon desk. They're in the car, and he's like, wow, You've been in the car. It's like, yeah, it's my first time in a car. This is really so amazing. What is this, four wheels? This is crazy. What's that little stick you're moving? Don't tell me, don't tell me. I want it to be a surprise.
Ronnie Karam
Wow, look at this. A highway. I've never seen a highway before. So they. They arrive and they're driving, and they go to Estes Park, Colorado. Wow. The park named after my favorite actor, Rob Estes. And then they're driving and they look at the mountains, and she's like, look. Wow, we're officially in the mountains now. Oh, my God. I never seen a rock that big. This is the best trip I ever seen. It's like, Casey, you're. You're just looking at a North Face store. The mountain is the other direction. Oh, Lord. That's a big mountain, ma'.
Ben Mandelker
Am. That's a Burger King.
Ronnie Karam
Okay.
Ben Mandelker
Still. Oh, they're so fancy in this new country. Yeah. She sees the mountains, and, you know, they are beautiful as Colorado, but it's just funny.
Ronnie Karam
Wow.
Ben Mandelker
It's so big. We're officially in a mountain. I've never seen a rock that big. Last time she said, we're gonna say that.
Ronnie Karam
I'm sure the entire trip was this, wait, I never seen a rock that big. Wait, that rock's even bigger. I never saw a rock that big. Wait, I never saw a rock that big. It's like, Casey, can you just wait till we watch to see the whole range and then afterwards we can assess which rock was the biggest?
Ben Mandelker
Finally, a state where she's. She's topped by every single sentence.
Ronnie Karam
You know, a poster of Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Ben Mandelker
They go to this cabin resort, which is really cute, and they get a nice little cabin. And then we. We go back to Galatian and there are sirens. Guys, what has Galena done? Nope, don't worry, everybody. We had a combine going too fast down and it lost a tire today and it drove off the road. Thankfully, there was no other drivers around, so it didn't hit any other cars. And Cole. Cole picked his worst time to go on the honeymoon. He could have been helping me here with this. Why would you trust Cole to help you with a fucking car? Car wreck in the middle of a road? He's not going to help you.
Ronnie Karam
You have a wheel the size of a Starbucks drive thru has tumbled off of your enormous small penis farm machine, and it's trampled probably five bunnies in that off the side of the Road. And Cole is not going to be able to help you. You ever see those competitions on ESPN where it's like, World's Strongest man and they find these tires and they flip them over? It's hard for the World's Strongest Man. You think Cole's gonna be able to come even close to lifting that an inch off the floor? This Bueller turning the. Changing the channels again.
Ben Mandelker
He's scratching the. Ouch. He's killing me today.
Ronnie Karam
He's really acting. He's really cooling it up over there.
Ben Mandelker
He really is. He's misbehaving. He's not getting enough attention because I was also there waiting, and now I'm back, and I'm not petting him every two seconds. So he's like, guess what? I'm gonna go through the trash and scratch your couch and turn the TV on with my butthole.
Ronnie Karam
He's like, I'm a cat.
Ben Mandelker
The stolen chicken.
Ronnie Karam
It's my protests.
Ben Mandelker
My favorite.
Ronnie Karam
We are all ginger. We are all ginger. They are way too casual about the fact that this big ass tire went flying off their combine. It has bothered me so much. Like, this is such a big deal. And they're like, like, wow, that was crazy. And Tessa's like, well, as soon as we crested that hill, the whole whole thing slams and we start sliding. I start praying and. Never been so thankful for something to come to a stop before. I'm like, that is exactly what the employees at Golden Corral said when. When Cole walked in. It's so funny that she said that.
Ben Mandelker
Thank you for coming in, Cole. It was good to see you. Tell your daddy hi. God, I've never been so thankful to watch something come to a stop before.
Ronnie Karam
Well, everyone, we're closed for the day. No more inventory left.
Ben Mandelker
So rude.
Ronnie Karam
Because he threw it out. Guys, I'm not fat. Shaming Cole. He just went throughout all their food.
Ben Mandelker
So now we go back to the line.
Ronnie Karam
So obnoxious of me. It really is. That's. I crossed the line. Crossed a line. Whatever.
Ben Mandelker
We go to Cole and Casey, and they're overlooking the mountains. They're getting a drink. They're getting some. Some. Some mocktails. And he's like, wow, it was awesome. You know? Now, I don't know about you, but I could see myself for spending forever with you. You know, I definitely won't be together. You know? I mean, you know, like, basically. Can't you tell? I was just telling someone I wanted to eat her ass in front of everybody. You know? I mean, I'm. We're together. We're already going to be raising a kid. Might as well just be together forever. So are you proposing? You're not proposing, you're just.
Ronnie Karam
Wait, they're not married?
Ben Mandelker
No, they're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Ronnie Karam
So.
Ben Mandelker
No, this is the conversation. They're like, should we stay together?
Ronnie Karam
Oh, is that. They were setting it up. Like they were. Like, it was gonna be a thing. That's why it was like, oh, never seen a rock this big before. It was a big teaser about like. I was wondering. I was wondering why all there are these ring double entendres. I just assumed they were married. They were like, oh, we're the best we could do with each. You know, it's us.
Ben Mandelker
No, because she's trying to, like, make a stand, that she's strong and she's gonna wait for him to change, but he's never going to change and she's gonna marry him anyway, and we all know it, so whatever.
Ronnie Karam
Also, Casey, I hope you learned a valuable lesson. Use a condom. Next time, have him use a condom, please. Yeah, it's really not her fault. It's his fault.
Ben Mandelker
So we go to. Let's see. Then he's like, maybe we could be together forever. And she's like, well, I mean, maybe, but, you know, I saw. I feel triggered sometimes. But, you know, because you won't go out and you. You. You, like, you know, it would be nice if you were with me because I'm pregnant and stuff, but I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back or nothing. He's like, I don't feel stuck with you. Not if that's what you're trying to say. I mean, I still go to Nashville. I still other people. So, I mean, I'm fine. No, but I don't want you to do that. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to Nashville. Other people, like, next week or last week.
Ronnie Karam
Or maybe right now. This is actually just an AI projection of me while I'm fucking someone else. Listen, I don't feel stuck with you at all. I just feel disappointed with you. That's it. Okay. And you know what? However I acted in the past, I just want to be you and Blair forever. Without me. By the way, I just want you to point out. It's just you two earned that equation. Okay? Enjoy, you and Blair.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, you guys have fun not getting child support. So. And then we go to some. Some back to Gallatin. We're going to another international restaurant. This one is Cafe Verona.
Ronnie Karam
Oh, how Shakespeare.
Ben Mandelker
I Guess I should say Verona. Cafe Verona.
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Wow. Wow. I feel like I've been transported to Europe. So in walks Christie. You can tell because the amount of static ecstatic cling rises in the restaurant. She walks by, everyone's hair just rises up.
Ben Mandelker
I have a table, too, for tad stick. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just I'm holding the tad stick. I have a table for two. It's two blondes. One has dry hair and one's a whore. So wherever you could see this.
Ronnie Karam
Yes, we're under the reservation for original Targaryens. Thank you so much. So they sit down, and Glenna's like, oh, it's been long time. And, you know, thank you for wanting to. For much, for wanting to meet with me. I know. I've been wanting to meet with you for a very long time. She's like, yeah, well, I didn't really want to meet with you. Just. My boy said I had to meet with you, and I can't ever say no to those boys. That's why that turned out so well. Okay, so what's going on? What do you. What's first on the slut agenda?
Ben Mandelker
I'm thinking of having girls just so I can tell somebody no. You know what I mean? And by the way, thank you for wanting to be here. I love when she said that. And I was like, damn, Chrissy. Chrissy can get cold. And I like it. And Galina says, well, I'm now realizing, dong, dong, dong, ding, dong to Galena, you know, after all these years, for the first time, what it feels like to be other woman. Yeah. Because it looks like she's gonna be like, it's okay, you know, water under the bridge. But she gives her a lot look. But then she goes, that could be. And that wasn't okay.
Ronnie Karam
That wasn't okay.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, not okay.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I feel horrible now that I am the one experiencing it. I never had chance to apologize. I never gave you chance to kill my chickens. And so therefore, I brought a live chicken here named Ginger. If you would like to stab her to death, I want you to be the one to do it.
Ben Mandelker
You get the revenge you deserve. Let us go to Stephen's house, and you could put shoes in dishwasher, please. At the very least.
Ronnie Karam
Well, she goes, you know, I never had to apologize or tell you my side of the story, and I love it. She's like, yeah, I don't need you to tell me your side of the story, okay. Because the drama now between you and Masha, I mean, it's affecting the boys, Okay? I. It's just not okay. If I have to hear one more time that Steven could not attend to the car washes because he had to take you to pass the villa one more time. I just can't deal with it, okay? It is evil. It is malicious. And I really just want the chaos of to and. Okay, well, you could always get the new hairstyle. I'm not talking about my split ends.
Ben Mandelker
Galena just like, smiles tightly and nods like, this is not what this is supposed to be.
Ronnie Karam
So.
Ben Mandelker
And Chris is like, yeah, because now the FBI investigations weigh in on us. And Stephen calls me at night and we talk to the morning about it and then all day. And I'm asking you for your help. Please be less drunk and stupid, okay? Please. And she's like, well, it's been stressful for me as well. Well. Well, unfortunately, I don't care. So you can pull yourself together to help the boys. They need you. And that might help too. I mean, if it makes you feel better. Go to the past. Clean their toilets. Okay?
Ronnie Karam
You know what? Family is everything to us. A wise woman once said, when you're here, your family, and you're either with us or you're out or maybe against us. How's that go again?
Ben Mandelker
They show coming up next week, we see the family goes to Nashville against all the girls wishes. And Cole, they find a woman's boot in Cole's room. Like, wait, who slept with that girl from last night? Who did it? And then they show him waking up, calling him being like, so nice. Cole, you couldn't even make it a week without after your phony ass trip to with your girlfriend Shane.
Ronnie Karam
Well, I can't even believe they're going to Nashville in the middle of the harvests. Coal is needed. Yeah, you know, not very needed. Fun times. Fun times. Thank you everyone for being here. Be sure to catch us tomorrow for some Real Housewives of Miami. Catch you in the next one. Bye, everyone.
Ben Mandelker
Bye.
Ronnie Karam
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her. Call. It's Diane.
Ronnie Karam
Call Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jaime she has no less.
Ben Mandelker
Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica.
Ronnie Karam
Trots she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.
Ben Mandelker
Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk?
Ronnie Karam
It's Leslie Plunkett she gets an A.
Ben Mandelker
From us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kiss Serino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox, Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
Ronnie Karam
Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.
Ben Mandelker
I love a YA Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure.
Ronnie Karam
Is swell It's Raquel, yes, we can. It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippy the Bay Area Betches.
Ben Mandelker
Betches and our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody get us.
Ronnie Karam
10Cc'S of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real.
Ben Mandelker
With Caitlin o' Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily Sides let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a.
Ronnie Karam
Candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manock's door My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study we're with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock we're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi Always killing it It's Lola.
Ben Mandelker
Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's.
Ronnie Karam
Rebecca Cloud she's the queen bee It's.
Ben Mandelker
Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out.
Ronnie Karam
Of a can and Anthony please, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
Ben Mandelker
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet.
Ronnie Karam
Coutar.
Ben Mandelker
We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: August 6, 2025
Platform: Wondery
In this episode of Watch What Crappens, hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive deep into the latest episode of Bravo's McBee Dynasty, Season 2, Episode 6, titled "Heart of Cole." Known for their sharp wit and humorous takes on reality TV, Ben and Ronnie provide a detailed and entertaining critique of the show's developments, characters, and overarching plotlines.
McBee Dynasty follows the tumultuous lives of the McBee family as they navigate personal and professional challenges on their Texas ranch. In "Heart of Cole," tensions escalate as Cole McBee's irresponsible actions threaten both the family's legacy and their business ventures.
Cole McBee's Mishaps
Casey McBee's Struggles
Galena's Ascendancy and Conflict
Business Failures and Debt
Family Dynamics and FBI Investigations
Ben and Ronnie infuse the discussion with their trademark humor, often exaggerating flaws and plot points for comedic effect:
On Cole's Combines:
Ben Mandelker: "Their combines are an extension of what they want their penis to be. They fuck them up every single time." ([06:11])
On Galena's Competence:
Ronnie Karam: "Lord knows we have to sit through enough terribly scripted scenes with them fake fighting with each other." ([14:02])
On Business Failures:
Ben Mandelker: "I'm sick of next year and farming. All you hear is next year, next year, next year." ([57:09])
On the Family’s Dysfunction:
Ronnie Karam: "He's trying to burn down Masha's house. I run her over. This is not touching with hands." ([26:06])
These quotes exemplify the hosts' ability to blend sharp critique with humor, making the summary both insightful and entertaining.
Mismanagement and Its Consequences
Gender Dynamics and Stereotypes
Reality TV Tropes
Impact of Personal Lives on Business
Ben and Ronnie conclude the episode by reflecting on the unsustainable path the McBee family is taking. They predict further dramatic developments and potential fallout due to the family's inability to address their internal issues and manage their business effectively. The hosts reaffirm their commitment to mocking Bravo's reality shows, emphasizing that their ridicule stems from genuine engagement and affection for the genre.
Watch What Crappens continues to offer listeners a blend of humor, sharp criticism, and in-depth analysis of Bravo's reality TV offerings. In this episode, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam effectively dissect the chaos within McBee Dynasty, providing both laughs and insights for their audience.
On Cole's Ineptitude:
Ben Mandelker: "This show is about a bunch of country people... [Cole] do the bare minimum and get by. That is Bravo's brand." ([05:04])
On Galena's Accusations:
Ben Mandelker: "I'm killing Masha." ([28:28])
On Business Failures:
Ronnie Karam: "We just lost $45 million on that car wash down in Kansas City." ([38:34])
On Family Dysfunction:
Ronnie Karam: "He's trying to burn down Masha's house. I run her over. This is not touching with hands." ([26:06])
On Next Year's Farming:
Ben Mandelker: "I'm sick of next year and farming. All you hear is next year, next year, next year." ([57:09])
This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Watch What Crappens Episode #2959, providing detailed insights into the podcast's critique of McBee Dynasty while highlighting the hosts' humorous take on reality TV drama.