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- [00:01]
Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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- [01:11]
Ben Mandelker
We are sponsored by the new movie from Searchlight Pictures.
- [01:14]
Ronnie Karam
The Roses Perfect Couple Ivy, Olivia Colman and Theo Rose Benedict Cumberbatch have it all. Successful careers, a loving marriage and great kids. But when Theo's career comes crashing down just as Ivy's fame starts to skyrocket, a tinderbox of fierce competition and growing resentment ignites, threatening to destroy everything they've built if they don't destroy each other first.
- [01:37]
Ben Mandelker
All's fair when love is war.
- [01:39]
Ronnie Karam
For anyone who's ever been in a relationship, the Roses is a crowd pleasing.
- [01:43]
Ben Mandelker
Comedy starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg, Allison, Janney Tsuti Gatwa and Kate McKinnon.
- [01:50]
Ronnie Karam
From the director of Meet the Parents and writer of Poor Things, directed by.
- [01:54]
Ben Mandelker
Jay Roach and Screenplay by Tony McNamara.
- [01:58]
Ronnie Karam
This movie looks absolutely hilarious. I love Olivia Colman so much. I'll see you in anything she's in. And this one looks like a home run in theaters everywhere August 29th.
- [02:25]
Ben Mandelker
There's so much that crap. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. Truly love. I am Ben Mandelker and joining me today, the one, the only, a man who would never crash a combine while going through town, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie.
- [02:46]
Ronnie Karam
Well, hello. I wouldn't be so sure about that last part. Give me access to one and we'll.
- [02:51]
Ben Mandelker
See we are here to talk about McBee Dynasty. Before we do that, just a reminder that this coming Monday, we have an Amazon Live moment that we'll be doing where we'll be talking about who knows what, but we'll talk about items that we have bought and loved. And we just have our little shopping moment there. So come join us for that. And thank you to everyone who came last night to Crappy Hour. So basically for the. For the next few weeks, it's going to alternate on Mondays between Crappy Hour and Amazon Live. So essentially, you'll just get to see us live on which in some. Some way or another. So come join us for Those and Patreon. Patreon.com watch with crappens, where you get a weekly bonus episodes. We'll record one later this week and access to Crappens on Demand, where you can watch us not just listen. All those videos are there, and then they eventually make their way to YouTube. But if you want them fresh and hot and sexy and cool, then go to Patreon. That's the news. Ronnie. Ronnie, what did you think about McBee Dynasty heading to Nashville for a cast trip?
- [03:59]
Ronnie Karam
This damn show tricked me. I really thought they made it look like Cole cheats. But you know what? I will say I was wrong. All of us were wrong because we listened to the damn preview. We should know better now from Bravo. But I will say you're still a piece of shit that everybody believes that so easily, you know? So I'm not taking you back. I'm not taking back my piece of shit comments. Cole.
- [04:20]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, you. You let them know. Yeah, Cole. He didn't cheat. He didn't cheat. It was a very exciting turn of events on a. On a very exciting episode. They went to Nashville and they came back and they still had 10 minutes left in the episode. So really, so much happened. Why don't we dive right into it?
- [04:41]
Ronnie Karam
We have Tessa Dynasty, Jesse and Ally are finally getting hit. And so that's exciting.
- [04:52]
Ben Mandelker
And we see the flashback to Stephen, you know, pestering Jesse to get a prenup. You know, I guess we'll see. Kayla went back to Dallas, where she could be a. In a different state. Stupid. And I suspect this time it's for good. And if it's not, it will be for good because I got a golf club in my back seat and I'm gonna use it.
- [05:12]
Ronnie Karam
Then call up and left the farm during harvest for Casey's baby moon. Really pissing Stephen off. I mean, who does he think women are anyway? And even though boss man ain't at the farm. His game of Russian roulette continues. And it's just. It just cuts to Galina holding a gun to a chicken's head. It's like spinning the wheel. Like, okay, Ginger. It's Ginger. It's like, listen here, Ginger. Do you regret going to Masa instead of me? Click. Oh, you got lucky this time, you chicken.
- [05:50]
Ben Mandelker
Galena's stupid chuckle.
- [05:59]
Ronnie Karam
Those eyes. Those piercing eyes she gets. I see them in my sleep.
- [06:05]
Ben Mandelker
I cannot believe this is actually happening. So that was the craziness of McBee dynasty. So, by the way, for all of you who are wondering what the fuck happened with that combine at the end of last episode when a wheel came flying off of it into the road and could have killed someone if anyone had been driving that road, guess what? You'll never get to know because we never went back to it. Because, as we all remember, last week's episode was like, how could coal do this? How? We're in the middle of harvest. How could a coal leave and leave in the middle of harvest? And this week is, well, we're gonna go have to try some spices in Nashville. Everyone leave.
- [06:49]
Ronnie Karam
He's such a hypocrite. And it is funny watching him slowly morph into his father, you know, because he really is becoming that man. He's like, well, you can't do it, but I can. And you can't go out for a baby move, but we can all go for a boys trip, which you're gonna get in trouble for. I'm gonna go try and ruin everybody's relationship. So I'm not the only single person in this family. I mean, it's just exactly what his dad does, you know, Every single time. So, guys, you know where I want to go, and I hope you want to go too, because we're about to go there. The Farm Fulfillment Center. Get in the wagon.
- [07:23]
Ben Mandelker
Have you ever wondered how we fulfill all those dribble doors? You go to the Farm Fulfillment Center. This is where.
- [07:32]
Ronnie Karam
It's also where we drop off the babies that the women are going to start dropping. You ready for your baby? Come get it. The Farm Fulfillment Center. That's what boss man would like.
- [07:42]
Ben Mandelker
The Farm fulfillment Center, which is where farms go when they're feeling low on self esteem and they come out feeling great. Farm fulfillment.
- [07:49]
Ronnie Karam
It's not your fault, farm. Yeah, but I've always wanted to kick Cole's ass in a hill. Did it. First they had to go out of town to get it done. It's not your fault, farm.
- [07:59]
Ben Mandelker
I Just gave such a bad crop of corn, you know? I've only given 150 bushels, and I just feel. I don't know. I feel like I would give more bushels if I just felt more fulfilled. Do you have an activity for me?
- [08:09]
Ronnie Karam
How many bushels do I give, and I don't even receive a pick in return? Well, it's not Life isn't the Song and Guys and Dolls Farm. Okay. All right. I feel more fulfilled. Thank you.
- [08:21]
Ben Mandelker
Sometimes a farm can catch cold. So Steven is packing boxes of beef because they have their. Because he's, like, really pushing this meat thing. Although, good luck to anyone who buys meat from these jokers. We can't. We. They can't even seem to, like, send, like, one piece brisket down to Kansas City for a barbecue. Idiots.
- [08:43]
Ronnie Karam
That's sad. Good luck to all the people who are buying meat with too much fat cut off. As we just learned from the last.
- [08:49]
Ben Mandelker
Episode, people are just going to be getting, like, discards from Cole's house. Like an old, like, Tasmanian Devil T shirt. Like, wait a second. I thought I ordered meat. Oh, we're so bad. Sorry, We. We thought you said you wanted a Tasmanian Devil T shirt. That's my bad. That one's on me.
- [09:03]
Ronnie Karam
I'm sorry. We ordered meat, and there was a spilled Big Gulp in the box. Yeah, it was cold. That must have been Cole's day at work. That is why we don't do baby moons in the middle of harvest. We are harvesting, Cole.
- [09:18]
Ben Mandelker
It's a meat harvest. Oh, God. So, Cole. So, yes, they're. They're really, like, this is them really trying to show their meat meat business. I was tempted to buy some meat from them just to see, like, how bad it was, but then I was like, no, I'm not going to support these people. So. But yeah, they're. I'll get meat locally, but, yeah, they're just. They're shipping meat. Shipping meat all around.
- [09:49]
Ronnie Karam
Well, the McBee Meat Company is our own farm. Raised beef and pork grown here. And lately, we've been shipping meat boxes out like crazy. With the upcoming holidays, there's high demand. We even shipped one to a babymoon. I said finally. And appropriate use of meat. Thank you. Pregnant.
- [10:08]
Ben Mandelker
You want a meat box? Look no further than the McBee meat box. We grow all our pork with natural fertilizer because nothing gives. Nothing gives good pork. Like a. Like a McBee pork flour. They blossom and pure Missouri sunlight.
- [10:23]
Ronnie Karam
One thing I think of often, and I don't even know why, is how excited Stephen Was when they got the meat truck. He's like, I'm driving around the meat truck. It says McBean Meat.
- [10:32]
Ben Mandelker
It's just dressed.
- [10:33]
Ronnie Karam
Big guy driving around a truck that's, like, completely covered in McBean meat. Where meat gets its meat. This is even where cows would order their meat. Hey, you know what our meat's last wish was on their last meal request? Meat from McBean Meat.
- [10:48]
Ben Mandelker
I wish it was like the Oscar Mayer wiener truck, except they just, like, built out, like, to make it look like a big. Like a big ribeye, like, on its side, just driving along. He's just driving a ribeye. That's a truck.
- [11:00]
Ronnie Karam
It's like, you can't fit any passengers in the back. They're. Damn it. We shouldn't have chosen a hot tomahawk. I can't even get. Can't even get any. Any meat in the back of this truck. Just big bone.
- [11:10]
Ben Mandelker
Padma's. Padma's in there also being like, where do hot dogs come from?
- [11:15]
Ronnie Karam
Because on who did we steal meat from?
- [11:19]
Ben Mandelker
Destination. She drove. And that I will always remember her driving along in the Oscar. My arena truck being like, why are there hot dogs in Milwaukee?
- [11:30]
Ronnie Karam
The oppressed. Burrito. Let's check in. Burrito. How are you feeling today? Do you feel kidnapped from your own country? Yes, I do.
- [11:38]
Ben Mandelker
I'm very impressed.
- [11:40]
Ronnie Karam
That was the best burrito interview everybody's ever done. Everybody. That's a wrap. No pun intended. Burrito.
- [11:47]
Ben Mandelker
Wow. So, Stephen.
- [11:49]
Ronnie Karam
Wow.
- [11:51]
Ben Mandelker
Wow. That's Stephen doing capadma. Steven's like, so, how was the baby moon? Cold. Because while you were relaxing, the rest of us were in the combines focusing on the harvest. I was like, no, you weren't in the combines. You were standing around the combine because it had flipped over and a wheel had gone down the hillside. Those combines were going nowhere, and there was no harvests.
- [12:09]
Ronnie Karam
None of you were driving combines. Let's not pretend to work when we know you don't.
- [12:13]
Ben Mandelker
That's the NFL combine. So.
- [12:15]
Ronnie Karam
Well, my phone was on do not disturb because I was in baby moon. You know, you never really know. You've really never known excitement until you shown somebody a mountain for the first time.
- [12:25]
Ben Mandelker
You know, it's funny because his phone was on do not disturb while my life was on disturbed. Watching Cole's face. I swear to God, it's like a haunted tree stump. I cannot look at him anymore.
- [12:39]
Ronnie Karam
Right, well, you're becoming a traveler, and I was going to Nashville, so what do you think of that? So you're gonna have to Put that in your schedule. Put that in your schedule and smoke it. Okay. Pretend your schedule's a pipe. Do that. He's like, I ain't leaving. Well, it's an actual business trip, okay? We gotta go throw some spices in with these packages. So we're gonna go look at custom spices, which you could only get by driving to Nashville, Tennessee. Do you understand? The mail system doesn't work out of Nashville. They can't send the samples. Okay, what are we gonna have for samples of samples? What are we, losers? Cold.
- [13:08]
Ben Mandelker
It is physically impossible to send spices in the mail. You are the most pessimistic person I've ever met to talk about spices. Okay, yes, you can send me, but you cannot send spices. Everyone knows this, Cold. Now get it with it.
- [13:22]
Ronnie Karam
So Jesse is gonna have to go, too. So he's like, here we go. We have a history with Nashville that includes us making poor choices. And I've got a wedding coming up in a few weeks. I'm supposed to be doing all that stuff I'm doing for the wedding right now, which is nothing, really, except wondering what Maroon is.
- [13:41]
Ben Mandelker
I. I love them acting like there's a lot of decisions to be made about this wedding. We all know what it's going to be. They're going to go into that generic event space that they use this very episode to have a baby shower. They're going to just put some flowers up. All the. All the ranch hands that got that creepy guy Jake, who maybe, like, Yves, I don't know, he's going to be in charge of, like, putting everything up. They're not going to lift a finger. They're going to make all their employees do everything. Tessa will be like, it'll be my honor. I raised these boys. Now we're going to put a flower on the wall to celebrate them. They're going to do all the work. They're not going to do a single thing.
- [14:12]
Ronnie Karam
They're not going to do a thing.
- [14:13]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, we know.
- [14:15]
Ronnie Karam
Ally's going to be like, why is Jake throwing meth at the birds? They're going to die. You can't throw a bird.
- [14:22]
Ben Mandelker
They're acting like they have to, like, secure, like, a deposit to get John Legend to perform at this thing. No, you're all going to be in the backyard with a banjo playing.
- [14:30]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Tess is going to be like some side love. It's like a river.
- [14:39]
Ben Mandelker
Cause tonight is a real good night.
- [14:44]
Ronnie Karam
I hope you dance. I hope you dance.
- [14:51]
Ben Mandelker
All right, I want everyone to get on the dance floor. All right?
- [14:55]
Ronnie Karam
Love. Shake I put a brick into his side and I scratched his car of his four wheel drive.
- [15:07]
Ben Mandelker
Because we're going to the Wham. She ain't. Come on, everyone.
- [15:13]
Ronnie Karam
I'm sorry. That is too gay. Please, not. Not this way.
- [15:17]
Ben Mandelker
Not anymore. We. We took it back.
- [15:20]
Ronnie Karam
Just because Jesse has become a gay icon in Ronnie's life does not mean that he's gay enough to get this song at his wedding. Please.
- [15:30]
Ben Mandelker
I love Taza. Just being a one woman base.
- [15:33]
Ronnie Karam
She is. Didn't you see the one where they're like, oh, that's Tessa. You know Tessa can sing. And Tess like, yeah, sure I do. I would sing with my mama. I was thinking with my papa. I'm not here no more. These boys. These boys threw a birthday party for me. So I'm going to sing Amazing cries. I was like, oh, no.
- [15:53]
Ben Mandelker
Ladies and gentlemen, your father didn't just.
- [15:54]
Ronnie Karam
Roll over in his grave. He knocked on the lid and said, shut the fuck up, Tessa. Jesus, how far do I gotta run?
- [16:02]
Ben Mandelker
Ladies and gentlemen, for our wedding, we are honored to introduce our entertainment for the evening. It's Tessa Lawler and the Dribble Doors. Hey, everyone, who's ready to party? Shout, everybody go shout. A little bit louder now, A little bit louder now A little bit louder now.
- [16:20]
Ronnie Karam
He loves the hanky pancake. My baby loves the hanky pancake.
- [16:27]
Ben Mandelker
Don't blame it on the sunshine don't blame it on the moonlight don't blame it on the combine Blame it on the boogie. Okay.
- [16:35]
Ronnie Karam
Let'S go back to the fulfillment center. So Steven's like, I'm sure Alec will be fine with a trip to Nashville. Tell her it's about spice samples. Well, this close to the wedding, she'll kill me. And Cole's like, well, I literally promised Casey I get my act together and cut back on the drinking. But Nashville will make me miss her maternity photo shoot. It's all supposed to be my paternity photo shoot. So you're going to miss your paternity maternity? What is she supposed to eat pickles alone in that photo?
- [17:05]
Ben Mandelker
I know. Honestly, I know this will upset Casey, but really see it as a blessing in disguise. Because when you guys are divorced in about two years, do you really want to see that guy in the. In the golden sunlight looming over your baby? No, you don't. I think cornfields is a better option.
- [17:23]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, taking. Yeah, taking pictures alone in a cornfield is a better option. For sure your baby won't have to ask questions later. Who's that guy? It's the postman. Honey, he's the postman.
- [17:37]
Ben Mandelker
So. So then Stephen. Stephen's saying like, well, she'll be all right with it. And Jesse goes, if you're so confident, you should give them both a call because the producer said that's what we have to do in this scene. It's like, ha ha ha, ha ha. So Stephen calls Casey and he's like, hey, Casey, it's Stephen. Yeah, well, guess what? I'm calling because I'm taking Cole and Jesse to what? It's about our meat shipments. And we decided it would be a good idea to have a complimentary product of sending it out along. So we're going to get spices. We're going to go find out about spices. And unfortunately, the only place in America that has spices is in Nashville. So unfortunately, we have to go there and take Cole there too.
- [18:14]
Ronnie Karam
I love this sentence. Hey, Casey, I'm here talking to Cole and Jesse about meat shipments, okay? Lose my fucking number, bro. Okay, so Casey's like, oh, so Cole wants to go to Nashville? Well, no, Steven wants me to go. I don't want to go there. Oh, is he gonna go regardless if I say no? Well, you could say no, and then we won't have to find out, you know, if you don't say no, we won't have to find out if I make him disobey you and choose between his family business and some girl he got impregnated in a cornfield. So how about that, Casey, huh? Hey, Casey, do you want your baby to have milk in his mouth or would you rather it have no spices? Those are your options.
- [18:54]
Ben Mandelker
I was hoping that it would have, what, monster of energy drink in its mouth personally.
- [19:02]
Ronnie Karam
So he's like, whatever. So she's like, whatever and hangs up on him. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
- [19:13]
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- [20:12]
Ronnie Karam
So now we go to Steven's house and he's putting away pictures of him and Calla and sad music's playing like, I was a cowboy once but now I'm just a man in a hat without my woman here to give me love where's my truck? Why can't I get love in my mouth?
- [20:33]
Ben Mandelker
Where's my truck? Where's my truck? It's a great song. Great song. I love it. I love it.
- [20:45]
Ronnie Karam
So he's like, this is the longest I've gone without talking to Kala since we first started dating. It just feels like I'm missing something. I can't talk to my family about it because they got their own stuff going on. When you got Cole, he's still trying to learn how to grasp onto a straw without lips. Got Jesse. His wife is living in the big city. They even sell newspapers on the street where she's at. He doesn't know how to deal with that.
- [21:10]
Ben Mandelker
She's getting something called manicures and pedicures. I don't know what a man is or a petty, and I don't know why they need to be cured, but it's some city thing.
- [21:20]
Ronnie Karam
Can't even talk to those people, you know, can't even talk to the meat. It doesn't even have enough fat on it to be respect worthy. So it's just me, a cowboy, alone in his house.
- [21:32]
Ben Mandelker
Poor lonely Steven, stuck without Calla. Wow. So they're gonna go that they start this. This stupid trip and Steven picks up the guys and everything. And then Ally calls and she's like, hi. Hi. Casey's upset. Cole needs to call her. So what a surprise. She's upset. And Ali's like, maybe you should have been trying to stay back too, with your fiance, by the way, that you're getting married to in two weeks. I'm mad.
- [22:02]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So, I mean, look, he's. You don't even live in the same house. Like, yeah, who cares? Like, literally, who cares? So Jesse's like, well, Casey let it slip to Ally that we were going to Nashville, so maybe it's not the best way for her to find out. Yeah, you should have told your. You should have told your wife. I guess. You didn't have to tell her because she's not going to be at the same house anyway. Maybe. I don't know. I think she's coming up with excuses for Jesse. I just love him. I don't care. I love him so much.
- [22:34]
Ben Mandelker
I think you should tell your significant other if you're going on a trip somewhere. So Steven's like, well, guess what? We really do have memes. Okay, we're sampling spices. Okay? We're gonna be going to a Kroger out there and open up the McCormick jars and sticking our fingers in and seeing which one we like the most. And they only sell them in that Kroger. Okay? So this is a real work trip.
- [22:54]
Ronnie Karam
But also the only reason to sell, to give samples for spices is to sell the spices. Why else would you give samples of a specific spice unless you were going to sell the spice? Otherwise, it's just a waste of damn money. Fool. People know how to do it. So is this your. Why don't you make, like, the McBee Spice Company at least? Or is this like some deal where you're going to get 10% of their sales? If people.
- [23:16]
Ben Mandelker
You're also the customer, why aren't they coming to you?
- [23:20]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, none of this makes sense. So he's like, between Cole having a baby soon and Jesse getting married, this is our last chance to do something together before everything changes. Nothing's gonna change. Cole's gonna have a baby. He's still gonna go get wasted, match for you and make out with whatever scraps you leave behind. Jesse's gonna still do the same damn thing. Do you guys even work at this job? I need to know, do you think they really work there?
- [23:43]
Ben Mandelker
Cole is still. We'll still be punching hills for years to come. Don't you worry.
- [23:48]
Ronnie Karam
Marriage doesn't necessarily change people. I neither do babies. They just make them.
- [23:52]
Ben Mandelker
Now we go annoyed. Now we go to Jesse and Ellie's farmhouse, which I hate, because for some reason, it's like Robin's, like, blue on every wall on the inside. And Christy is like, Christy's there. She's like, I'm frustrated. Steven should not have had the boys in position to leave you both. You know, I care a lot about how you. The boys treat you. They know better than that. So it's heartbreaking for me to see because it's like their dad, it's his bad example. And Nashville, for them, only leads to drama.
- [24:23]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, well, it really feels like a slap in the face. Yeah. And I feel like I've changed so much, and all I ask of Cole is to change a couple of things, and he can't even do that to get ready for the baby. Christie's like, yeah, well, I think, you know, if he doesn't make those changes, you might need to make some decisions on your own. And leave my son? Because I'm teaching my sons how to respect women. You'll start seeing evidence of that. I'm not really sure when, but I planted the seeds, kind of. Well, I got the seeds. I heard about it in book. I don't really know how to plant seeds. Neither do my sons, actually. First, I'm starting to teach my sons how to plant seeds. We'll get to the women part later, girls, but I'll be working on it. I will be.
- [25:05]
Ben Mandelker
Listen, I don't use conditioner in my hair, but I will condition my sons. And you can do it, too.
- [25:14]
Ronnie Karam
And Casey says, I just don't want to be married to Steve McBee, just his empire. Well, no, you don't. Because being married to Steve McBee, that's a long, hard. Oh, my God. Not right now. No, I wasn't going to say penis. I mean, it is. It is long, but it wasn't often hard. I forgot what we were talking about. Respect. Women.
- [25:35]
Ben Mandelker
Girls, Let me give you a sneak preview of what it's like to be married to a McBee. One moment you're married, another moment they're cheating on you. You stick in that marriage for 25 years, you have a whole bunch of songs, you just act like your husband, and then they go and they find a whole bunch of dumb, boring women that you have to sit there and pretend to talk to, and they complain about it. And you say, follow my. Follow my example. And they don't follow. And then you're stuck having more long, boring conversations with them. Stupid house with blue walls.
- [26:00]
Ronnie Karam
Hey, I heard that.
- [26:02]
Ben Mandelker
No, just theoretically. Just theoretically.
- [26:06]
Ronnie Karam
And these aren't just. These aren't just blue walls. These are Deborah. These are Deborah blue. Now, that's called Tiffany blue, honey. Now, I'm a Debbie fan. I'm a Debbie fan. So then we go to Ali or Tiffany. I go to Debbie, like the Timmy Tiffany player.
- [26:23]
Ben Mandelker
It's less than K. Less than K. And Jared is Debbie. So.
- [26:29]
Ronnie Karam
Debbie Gibson blue.
- [26:31]
Ben Mandelker
Out of the blue.
- [26:33]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So then Jesse is like, yeah, Cole had it rough this morning, too. From Casey. Yeah. She gave me pretty strict instructions, no fallen new girls on Instagram, which apparently I always do when I go on a trip. Thank God. What do I Change. My whole life changed so much I can't even follow girls on Instagram. What the hell?
- [26:53]
Ben Mandelker
I like that the instructions for Cole were, like, the same. If they felt like the same. Instructions for attending to Gizmo and Gremlins. Okay, if you want to have Gizmo, first rule is Gizmo has to call Casey before he goes to bed. There can be no girls around Gizmo. And no drinking after midnight. Or before midnight.
- [27:15]
Ronnie Karam
Yep. Except Cole never had the cute little part. You know, he's just always been the Gremlin. And you're like, oh, my God, no one wants to take care of this thing overnight. Forget it.
- [27:25]
Ben Mandelker
Just imagine Cole driving a little pink Corvette.
- [27:29]
Ronnie Karam
I wouldn't be surprised if Cole had a personal rule not to ever get himself wet, though.
- [27:37]
Ben Mandelker
And based on how pale he is, I'm surprised he's ever been in the sunlight.
- [27:41]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, I think that sounds pretty reasonable. Now, Cole said he was coming down here with his brothers and Jake. What's wrong with that? And Casey said that is literally the worst group of people to be in Nashville with. Isn't that hilarious? Hilarious. Yeah, well, she. She tends to category categorize. Categorize. She lumps us in the same category. What do you say? Hey. Saying.
- [28:08]
Ben Mandelker
Cactus, Cactus, rise the cat, rise.
- [28:12]
Ronnie Karam
The cat rises us.
- [28:16]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So is this when they're at the house? Now I'm confused. I don't know where you are in the notes.
- [28:22]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, the guys are just like, well, I guess we're gonna be good for the women because, you know, Ally's gonna be mad if she sees any girls on reels. So. I mean, these guys are so stupid. They go. They all go to, like, cheat on their wives and get shit faced and then take Instagrams of each it.
- [28:38]
Ben Mandelker
You know.
- [28:39]
Ronnie Karam
Although last season it was their dad who kept doing that. He's like, okay, pose with these beautiful girls guys. And then he take their picture and post it.
- [28:46]
Ben Mandelker
Why is it so funny that he's like, ally's gonna be mad if she sees any girls on reels. Ally said that if she sees anyone on Periscope, she's gonna raise a ruckus. Ally was saying that if she hears a woman's voice on Clubhouse, she's gonna get real angry.
- [29:05]
Ronnie Karam
She said if I follow any more bands on MySpace, she's. So Braden comes and he has a little friend named Johnny who has a bleached mullet. So I like. You know, I like to see the mullet, like, around and being judged in different ways.
- [29:20]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it's A nice touch.
- [29:22]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [29:22]
Ben Mandelker
And they tell him like, no Instagram. He's like, that's right. No Instagram, no posting. This won't even go on threads. And Steven's like. He's like, well, since we have a meeting, a real meeting with spices, Galena is going to be there, because you know what? We cannot taste the spices without the CFO being there. So we're gonna stay somewhere in that. She's somewhere here in Nashville. And word on the street is that Masha is trying to come on down. So everyone looks like the Russian roulette is going to keep on coming.
- [29:50]
Ronnie Karam
Galena is our Spice Girl. Okay? Psycho Spice is coming. We need to watch out. Smash is here, too. So they sit around and talk, and Jesse's like, wow, this is a nice little last hoorah before the wedding. Yeah, well, so I sense you're a little late in asking Ally to sign those prenup papers. Did you have the prenup papers drawn up? Are you gonna do Stop trying to ruin his relationship? And their whole view on this is really weird, too, because they're like he says, with a 67 or 72% divorce rate, whatever it is, if you don't sign a prenup, you almost have to get your name off everything because there's a good chance you'll take it. So that's not true. If they each own 10% of the company and he gets divorced, she would get the money from that company. She doesn't necessarily become an owner of the company.
- [30:39]
Ben Mandelker
Or she may own some sort of percentage. I don't know. It doesn't matter. She's not taking over the farm. And why would she take over this stupid farm? So Steven's like, wait a second.
- [30:48]
Ronnie Karam
She would get some of his portion of it, which she should. She's getting married, man. And having his children, presumably. So give her money.
- [30:56]
Ben Mandelker
I don't want to buy a jar of coriander and know that half it belongs to Allie. That is not fair.
- [31:00]
Ronnie Karam
So, by the way, did y' all know that coriander is actually cilantro? I feel disgusted and tricked and betrayed by words.
- [31:10]
Ben Mandelker
What? Cilantro. Exactly.
- [31:15]
Ronnie Karam
In the 90s. Okay?
- [31:19]
Ben Mandelker
Beyonce's sister. So Cole is like, yeah, if someone doesn't want to marry you for signing a prenup, it's kind of a big red flag. So let's just set the rule now. If you don't sign one, your name gets taken off the businesses, because that could be a risk. Oh, God forbid his name gets taken off the farm. That $6 trillion in debt and is under FBI investigation. Exactly. What a terrible thing to be not be associated with this farm.
- [31:46]
Ronnie Karam
And if anybody is going to make anybody sign a prenup, Ally's going to make Jesse's broke ass sign a prenup. You guys are in debt, Your dad's going to jail, and she's got an actual career and a job and she's going to school to even better her career. So fuck you guys. She should be making you sign a prenup. And I hope to God that's the twist that she's like, well, we need to have a talk. I need you to sign a prenup, okay? Because I'm not going to jail for you, I'm not going into debt for you, and you're not getting my money when you eventually potentially cheat on me and leave me. Okay?
- [32:15]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And they've been, like, dating since they were like, 11 years old. So I think she's in it for the real reasons. So then just idiots. So Jesse is like, yeah, no, I don't know. Oh, no. So back up in Nashville. So now a little bit later than Nashville house here in McBee. They're all hanging around and Steven is like, has Allie called or texted yet? Wishing you a happy birthday, birthday boy. She is the most pessimistic person I've.
- [32:49]
Ronnie Karam
Ever seen around a birthday. I can't say that anymore. I'm so angry. No. Well, a year from now, things will look a lot different. Cole and maybe Jesse, they'll be changing diapers. I'll be 31. In that wild? In that wild.
- [33:06]
Ben Mandelker
Yes. It's mind blowing. Things will just be so radically different.
- [33:10]
Ronnie Karam
You'll be mind blowing. Yeah, it's mind blowing. Things didn't work out with Calla, the girl you met on a dating show who you fight with and hate. That's crazy.
- [33:21]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Things are gonna look so. Guys, he's gonna be 31. Things are gonna look so different around here. This is like the last chance we'll be able to party while he's still 30. They can make it really work out.
- [33:32]
Ronnie Karam
I do hope that he finds love soon, though, because he's only got a certain amount of time while his knees are still good. I mean, that is a huge man. He's got a lot of muscle on there. His knees are probably like. When he walks, his knees are probably like.
- [33:56]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, he's like. You ever, you know, like in Saw, there's like, Jigsaw, you know, it's like, if we ever got to see Jigsaw, in his youth, I think it would be Steven. I think, like, it's like, oh, Jigsaw had a good body at one point, and that's Steven right now.
- [34:10]
Ronnie Karam
Well, you see the bad episode and you. And they. They actually. Tessa said in some episode, maybe last year, she said, oh, Bob Smacking. That was a hottie. He was a real hottie when he was younger. You should have seen that body. Get me bodied, get me bodied, get me bodied, get me bodied body.
- [34:29]
Ben Mandelker
Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.
- [34:32]
Ronnie Karam
And they really do have the same eyes, Steven and the dad. The same eyes and the same. Trying to ruin everybody's life so that they're all on the same boat. They've got a lot in common. So I'm just saying Enjoy your 30, Steven, because you're about to start sledding down. Sledding down, boy.
- [34:49]
Ben Mandelker
It's all downhill from here, which is why the combine lost its tire.
- [34:53]
Ronnie Karam
So that's why it's worth to, like, spend most of your life out of shape and making no effort, because then as you get older, you can even make, like, a tiny bit of effort, and you're. You improve as you get older. You see?
- [35:05]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, absolutely. So now we go over to this baby shower, and they're in some. I don't know, are they in, like, at the farm? Are they at someone's house? Every. I feel like every interior on this show looks like a community center.
- [35:22]
Ronnie Karam
This stuff. This definitely had community center vibes, for sure.
- [35:26]
Ben Mandelker
It's just like, our study hall or something.
- [35:28]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So it's a water fountain.
- [35:31]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it's. There's, like, a bulletin board with, like, events coming up, but it's actually their house.
- [35:37]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, you're trying to have. You're trying to have a baby shower, and there's, like, pictures of missing cats. Oh, God.
- [35:44]
Ben Mandelker
It's like they've got to end the baby shower because there's going to be, like, a school dance later.
- [35:50]
Ronnie Karam
Oh, my God, what a lovely card. Wait, is this an invitation to water aerobics? I'm sorry, I got that off the board. I got that off the board.
- [35:58]
Ben Mandelker
Sorry, we have to wrap up this baby shower. There's gonna be a senior salsa dancing lesson coming in here soon.
- [36:07]
Ronnie Karam
So we see Grandma Vicki McBee, Steve Senior's mom, and she just looks. She's like, oh, my God. Hi, Christy. Hi, Chris. I just miss you so much. I'm so sorry. I mean, this woman is just a. A bag of regret.
- [36:25]
Ben Mandelker
She is so upset. She is. She's like she's like, now I've got to deal with all these crazy Russians my son keeps bringing home. And we have this lady who is. She was this. She was. She was blonde. Isn't that good enough? And now she's successful. Staticky as all hell, yes, but successful. Why? Why?
- [36:42]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Well, it's so great seeing Steve's mom. I missed her. I did. His family was like family to me. And what he did, it was not okay. It was not okay. He went. He went.
- [36:57]
Ben Mandelker
Over at Deacon Steakhouse. Steve Senior walks in to join all the boys. It's a surprise thing, because I did not think we'd ever see him, because I thought he wasn't gonna be on the show because of the FBI or who knows what. But he's here. He's here on tv. He made it.
- [37:12]
Ronnie Karam
And Stephen didn't tell anybody, any of the boys. So it's a surprise. It's a surprise because, you know, I know he's not perfect, but I love my dad, and I love being around my dad, and I love turning into my dad very, very slowly, inch by inch, turning into my dad. The boys are all thrilled to see their dad, who has been in hiding after running away from the show because we all know he's in troubles.
- [37:37]
Ben Mandelker
They really treat their dad like he's a star. I mean, it's. That's nice. You know, it's nice when, like, the kids love their dad and everything, but they act like. It's like. Like they act like Garth Brooks just walked in, and they're like, oh, my God, it's Dad. Come on, be. Be chill. Be chill. Okay. It's dad. It's dad. Okay. All right. Who gets to sit next to dad? Oh, my God. I can't believe Dad's here. So he walks in, and then, of course, they start talking about Galena because they know she's in Nashville, and, oh, how convenient. They invited Galena to lunch, and, oh, my God, they left a chair next to Steve for Galena. Isn't that funny?
- [38:10]
Ronnie Karam
Stephen's like, I'm. But I'm. I'm a bet Galena comes in, gets some bone marrow, and Steve goes 100%. She sure is. As Galena loves her marrow, you know.
- [38:23]
Ben Mandelker
She'S gonna get that classic Galena with the bone marrow. Am I right, everyone? That's so Galena.
- [38:29]
Ronnie Karam
What you want to bet she takes this open chair that's right by you, dad, that we left open for you? What do you want to bet she's gonna take that one? There's no Other chair.
- [38:41]
Ben Mandelker
Don't make stupid bets like that. Hey, dad, what do you want to bet that Galina takes this open chair instead of sitting at a whole separate table? What do you think?
- [38:52]
Ronnie Karam
I bet she sits right on top of the table and asks for bone marrow. So Galena comes in, she's like, hello, boys. Hello. Hello, boys. Hello, Stephen Senior. Hello. Oh, what? Fancy meeting you here, huh? Well, there's Doug, but, you know. You know, we. We bidding on you either getting tuna tartar bone marrow because that's Galena coated ain't. All right, boys, could you try not.
- [39:15]
Ben Mandelker
To ruin your stupid bet? Could you at least just let her make the decision first? I mean, what, you're trying to guess if she's gonna get the bone marrow, and you say we were guessing you were gonna get the bone marrow. Don't just ruin bits.
- [39:27]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well, I mean, Glena right now through this FBI investigation, but her biggest trigger, you know, she's doing a great job. She lost us the. The hedge fund deal and then possibly aided my dad in insurance fraud. So we really need her. I mean, this business is doing great because of Galena. So, you know. Yes, unfortunately, her big trigger is Masha. So I'm trying to. I took a marker and I scribbled out the mashed potatoes option on the menu. You know, just because she might read it as Masha with her accent.
- [40:04]
Ben Mandelker
The last thing we need to do is pay for any missing chickens in this restaurant or broken windows.
- [40:09]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I guess I will have the baked potato and cut it up myself.
- [40:16]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I hope. Do they have chicken here? I sent them special bird ahead of time. Gingerbread.
- [40:24]
Ronnie Karam
I hope you have the special today, Stephen. I brought it special for you. Ginger chicken you will love. Here comes one right now.
- [40:42]
Ben Mandelker
So meanwhile, up at the dullest baby shower in the history of humans, Casey and her friends. Casey and the Rain Shine Band. Basically, they're playing some stupid game back. Guess what the price is for a bid. $35.600. It's like, oh, my God, an eight.
- [41:04]
Ronnie Karam
Pack of baby wipes is $20. What kind of world are we living in? And Tessa's like a date pack. I'll tell you something. I thought they was talking about one little baggie of wipes. Oh, my God, it was night. Pack of wipes. That's worth it. Am I right, ladies?
- [41:20]
Ben Mandelker
This is. This is why you always gotta wrap up your dribble door, if you know what I'm saying. You'll be in the pool soon enough.
- [41:29]
Ronnie Karam
That part made me laugh so hard. So now Guys, special announcement. We're getting a person I've been requesting for weeks. Aunt Darla. Uncle Jimmy's wife is here. Here she is. Darla, Darla. All I hear is Darla, Darla, Darla, it's great to have you here, honey. Tell us what you've been up to.
- [41:49]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, well, Jimmy had mentioned that they might go. The boys might go to Nashville. Christie. That's what I heard from Jimmy.
- [41:57]
Ronnie Karam
Well, God, I'm glad you're here. You really are the life of the party, Darla. Now, I get worried when the boys are with Steve because they never, you know, they're never just about spending time with the boys. It's always about Steve looking cool because of that, you know? And I don't think he wants him in solid relationships. He wants to have them around for partying and hanging out. What do you think of that, Darla? Darla's like wet baby wipes. $20. That's what I think. I think that's highfalutin. Highway robbery is what I think.
- [42:27]
Ben Mandelker
Hey, do you think there's any more of those intimate donuts in the back? Those were delicious.
- [42:33]
Ronnie Karam
So then we go back to Deacons. Sorry, Darla. You brought the show down, I believe. I mean, your Q rating went through the floor. Dead.
- [42:42]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I really thought she was gonna be much more exciting than that.
- [42:46]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [42:47]
Ben Mandelker
So back at Deacons, I wonder if you get fries there. They're called Deacon fries. That's gonna be a deep cut for someone. There'll be one person. Yeah, we'll get that joke. I'm not gonna explain it.
- [43:00]
Ronnie Karam
Star is drinking water. I was drinking water. It was.
- [43:02]
Ben Mandelker
Did you actually get my joke? He's the saddest thing you could ever do on a podcast. Did you get my joke?
- [43:07]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, I got it. I just couldn't laugh. I was drinking with my villa.
- [43:13]
Ben Mandelker
Anywho, so Galena, she's like, jesse, it's your birthday.
- [43:22]
Ronnie Karam
I know.
- [43:23]
Ben Mandelker
And Jesse.
- [43:25]
Ronnie Karam
I know. Yeah.
- [43:27]
Ben Mandelker
They got a party bus.
- [43:29]
Ronnie Karam
Oh.
- [43:29]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I know. That's so cool. I'm glad they got a party bus, by the way. You know what's funny about these idiots? They literally got a party bus. It's like, literally. It's a school bus that they party on.
- [43:40]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Do you feel. I'm not going to start any trouble here? I'm just going to try and start some trouble. So, Galena, do you feel any better after talking to my mom, Christy, who was also over by Steve Senior, who you just happened to be sitting next to because you chose the chair that I predicted you would choose tell us how that meeting went.
- [44:01]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I'm grateful we found the connection. And by connection, it was more like I said, I'm so glad I got to see you. And she said, shut the fuck up and just be nicer to my son.
- [44:12]
Ronnie Karam
Well, some wounds take longer to heal than other wounds, but I'm happy you guys got to talk. And everyone basically adulted up and said, you know what? We are not the wrong ones in this situation. We are women, and we have no right to complain about nothing. So I'm glad you guys had that in common. Good times.
- [44:33]
Ben Mandelker
Meanwhile, back up at that little lady's event, Christie's still talking to Darla. He is such a hypocrite. And Darla's like, he said. He said that he does love you and will always love you, and that's what matters the most. No matter how much a guy treats you wrong, if he loves you, all that matters is that because we're women and we just have to receive the love.
- [44:54]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So Christie is like, well, I believe that he loves me as much as he's capable of loving a person. But I want more than that for the boys. I want more than that for the mobiles. That's why I just. Everything they do, I say, you did a good job. You did a good job, honey. And so then we go back, and Steve Senior flirts very heavily with Galena. He goes, so, did you like the duck?
- [45:15]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, my God.
- [45:17]
Ronnie Karam
Caliente. A key.
- [45:35]
Ben Mandelker
Sorry. Mash has been blowing up my phone. One second, one second. I'm getting a lot of text. Hold on. I'm gonna. I'm just gonna leave. Okay? Okay. So, y', all.
- [45:47]
Ronnie Karam
The ketchup is ringing. Can someone take that to dad? Take that to dad. How? She found a way to communicate through the ketchup bottle.
- [45:54]
Ben Mandelker
Guys, I want to do another bit. How much do you want to bet that the phone in front of my dad that is buzzing the most is my dad's phone? Who wants to pass that? Okay, it's my. That's. I won't take that bet.
- [46:08]
Ronnie Karam
The producer ask Galina, how are you having a good time with Steve? And then Masha starts freaking out. She's like, I love it. Stupid.
- [46:21]
Ben Mandelker
So he leaves. Steve Sr. Leaves and goes to the bathroom. And his. They, of course, have a mic. His microphone is off, but they still get. They capture audio. And he's like, what the are you doing texting me like that when I'm in the middle of dinner with 15 other people? You said no pressure. This is the most pressure I've ever seen. You need to disrespect my time with my sons. You're a woman, and you're calling during man time. That's not right. Okay? I don't have time for this. Also, I'm about to take a dump. So how you like that?
- [46:48]
Ronnie Karam
He's such an idiot. I mean, this is literally lines from the first season that he said to Galena. He gets these women. Then he's like, okay, you want. You want everything with me. You want to be part of my business, raise my kids, do everything you want. You want to walk along the combine for the rest of our lives? But I don't want no pressure because I'm still open. I ain't never going to be bossed around by another woman in my life and then thinks that they go, okay, so that means that he never has to do anything that they say or treat them with any kind of respect. This is guy. It's always the same thing over and over. Like, what do you think Mosh is going to do? You know, the producers told her that she. You're in Nashville with Galena. What do you think she's gonna do?
- [47:27]
Ben Mandelker
Of course. So. So he does all this thing, and he comes back to the table. He's like, we're all good. But of course, his phone is still going off. And they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So now they go to their party bus, which, as I said before, is an actual bus with a roof sort of chopped off. I mean, it's fun. What can I say? I'm being a dick, but it's fun. And they are riding around, and Jake is asking. Jake is like, so how you feel about the wedding, Jesse? And Jesse's all nervous. He's really nervous about this wedding that he doesn't have to do anything for.
- [48:01]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And Steven's like, not much is changing. You're all pretty much married already. What's the difference? What's the difference going to be? Except that she's gonna take over this entire company once she divorces your stupid ass unless you have her sign to bring up. So, Jesse, you can't just.
- [48:17]
Ben Mandelker
You can't say not much is changing when you just had a hissy fit. Bell. Everything's changing.
- [48:21]
Ronnie Karam
This is the last time we get.
- [48:21]
Ben Mandelker
To do a thing like this. Everything is changing. It's like, well, not much is changing, if you think about it.
- [48:26]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. The wedding can only be stressful to Stephen, really. So Jesse's. Jesse's like, oh, God, I'M stressed out now because everybody around me is talking about prenups and divorce. So, yeah, it's kind of stressful. I wasn't even thinking about that part.
- [48:42]
Ben Mandelker
Well, this is my first time single in Nashville, so whatever happens, happens. Great.
- [48:48]
Ronnie Karam
So Cole checks his phone, and he's got 40 missed calls today. Well, you have literally done nothing wrong. Put your phone back in the pocket. Do you want me to. Do you want me to get the lot of my pocket? Here you go. Yep. Let's scan the law. No mention of spice. It's not against the law. Okay? You are doing something lawful in searching for spice.
- [49:08]
Ben Mandelker
You are doing nothing wrong. I mean, 44 missed calls. I mean, so you have a girlfriend who's pregnant. 44 missed calls. What could it possibly be? Oh, maybe there's a complication. Maybe she went into labor. Maybe she died in pregnancy. Who knows? You couldn't have done it. I'm like, I answer the damn call. Who knows what's on the other end of that?
- [49:30]
Ronnie Karam
How is he not answering a call from his pregnant girlfriend? I mean, what is wrong with these guys? Like, I can't. So then now they're, like, nightclubbing, and we just see Cole taking shot after shot after shot after shot. And he's talking to some blonde girl at the bar, and he's like, oh, I'm having a girl. She goes, are you excited? He goes, yeah, she's gonna be my little buddy. She's gonna be my everything. My everything.
- [50:01]
Ben Mandelker
And then he just starts going, they're all getting drunk that we see. We see Cole getting drunk and drunker, and then all of a sudden, he starts going, usa. Usa. Usa. You're not at the Olympics. You're at a bar.
- [50:14]
Ronnie Karam
Do people in other countries do that? Are there people who are like, england. England. England. England. Okay, I'll have another fireball thing. Thank you. Thank you.
- [50:25]
Ben Mandelker
Someone goes, the most touristy bar in a city in their country, and starts and starts shouting, their country. I don't think that happens, you guys.
- [50:33]
Ronnie Karam
We know where we are. Like, could you turn location on in this bar? Nope. Usa. You. Where the. Did you people think you were two seconds ago? Morons.
- [50:45]
Ben Mandelker
Although, to be fair, if they filmed this in 2024, there was a chance the Olympics were happening. But I'm pretty sure this is, like, in October or something.
- [50:51]
Ronnie Karam
So I think they made it seem like Cole was just like, look, usa. And everybody joined in. I think it's just one of those things you can do in a country bar to feel community.
- [51:03]
Ben Mandelker
I think so. I think so then we go back to Jesse and Ally's city house. It's the next day, we're in Jesse and Ali's city house. The distant sound of subways rumbling by, taxicabs honking. There's a bum on the corner panhandling for change.
- [51:20]
Ronnie Karam
Caroline drawing like, you know, comic book art or greeting card art or whatever the fuck.
- [51:26]
Ben Mandelker
If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of a puddle splashing on Carrie Bradshaw's dress.
- [51:32]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [51:33]
Ben Mandelker
So Casey is getting her makeup done for her maternity photo. And Holly. Holly's doing her look and everything. And she's like, you know, for some reason, I thought Cole was gonna be here for the shoot today. So, you know, wonder where he is, huh? Don't want to rub salt into wounds. But anyway, you want to talk about that?
- [51:55]
Ronnie Karam
He was supposed to originally. He's in Nashville, though. What's he doing in Nashville? I think it's a work thing. Something about spice. I don't know. I just don't know. Oh, my gosh. Missing the maternity shoots. Pretty bad. That's pretty bad. I don't like this.
- [52:13]
Ben Mandelker
I. It's shitty. I mean, look, I. I don't really get the whole maternity shoot thing in the first place. I'm not gonna lie. I know it's a thing. And now it's like, it's not even. I know there's no controversy. It's not like a gender reveal. It's just something that happens now. I personally just don't get it. I don't know why you have to have these cheesy ass photos.
- [52:29]
Ronnie Karam
Well, we don't have to get it. Yeah, well, it's like it's a pregnancy event. You're supposed to be there for pregnancy.
- [52:35]
Ben Mandelker
But I know it's like you're. It's. You're doing it to together, and like, if you're gonna say you're gonna do it, then you do it. And if you were willing to draw a line before about a baby moon, draw a line around the maternity tests. I mean, it's just spices.
- [52:50]
Ronnie Karam
And by the way, we never see them taste spices, which is hilarious. We just see them.
- [52:54]
Ben Mandelker
We see it in like a one second flashback. That was the thing. I was looking the most. Yeah, they showed it for one second. We see Galena being like, oh, that tastes like honey. I'm like, after all this talk, we don't even get to see the spices? Aren't you trying to promote your spices?
- [53:08]
Ronnie Karam
Come on, guys. So then we go back to the boys, and it's the next day and dun, dun, dun. There's a woman's boot in the kitchen. And so Stephen's like, jess, wait. Jesse, are these your boots? He's like, no, I just. You just keep working your way up those stairs. We've got eight floors of one bedrooms in here, so good luck.
- [53:28]
Ben Mandelker
We've got eight different McBees, so just go from next. It's like Goldilocks. I swear to God, going from each room. It's like. Like, is it Colt? Hey, Kohl's, are these yours? Are these your boots? And then it's like, does Cole have a lady in his room? Knock, knock, knock. He doesn't. He was a good boy.
- [53:48]
Ronnie Karam
That's good news. I mean, mostly for Casey, but especially for the reputation of women in Nashville.
- [53:56]
Ben Mandelker
Honestly, especially for the reputation of Americans after all that USA Chanting.
- [54:00]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [54:00]
Ben Mandelker
You know, after.
- [54:02]
Ronnie Karam
After spending time getting wasted in a bar screaming, usa, usa. You can't just, like, celebrate mediocrity, like crawling into bed with cold.
- [54:09]
Ben Mandelker
Exactly. You know, the most patriotic thing you could do is not sleep with coal. That's a bipartisan thing that brings. That brings maga and lefties together. Don't go near Cole. Don't.
- [54:22]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, everybody can be equally grossed out by coal.
- [54:25]
Ben Mandelker
That's. That's across the aisle.
- [54:27]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So finally, we go all the way up to the very tippy tippy top, and it's Braden, the youngest McBee, who got it. And no word on if his mullet. His mulleted friend was involved. We don't see him, but Braden got some. So good for him.
- [54:44]
Ben Mandelker
Braden got some. And he had a friend there, much like Imrules friends. She got an arrow, but we never saw her face.
- [54:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. And so Steve. Stephen comes over. Wait, no, I'm sorry. The dad comes over later, but they're talking about the wives. And Cole's like, oh, no. But I do forget to call Casey, so I'm in trouble because she's not happy with me. So we go back to the photo shoot, and Cole FaceTimes. He's like, you look so good, babe. I'm sorry I forgot to call. I'm kind of sad. And Ally takes it. She's like, you should be sad. What? Isn't she a snack? Look at her. Hot as pregnant woman in the world. A semi truck just called and tried to pull her into it. I mean, human trafficking has never looked so sexy. And you're missing everything. Loser.
- [55:31]
Ben Mandelker
Now, Ally, you have to really be careful with your words, because if you say that Casey's a snack to Cole, he might Literally, try to eat her. So just really, let's use.
- [55:40]
Ronnie Karam
That's all you had to say in the first place. You should have just said, casey's a snack. He would have been there.
- [55:46]
Ben Mandelker
Just say, doesn't she look like you could find her on a shelf at 7:11? He'd be like, wait a second. Also, by the way, okay, the call before going to bed. I don't. How do you forget that? Like, honestly, even if you're wasted, I feel like you still can remember to, like, text your loved one. I don't know.
- [56:05]
Ronnie Karam
Well, especially after a whole day of ignoring the calls from your pregnant girlfriend.
- [56:08]
Ben Mandelker
Exactly. Like, I. When I'm. When I'm. When I'm away, I always text Dom before bed. Like, good night. I hope you had a great day. Whatever. Like, you just. You just do it. It's like, it should be part of your. I feel like. Like, look, my relationship's different than other people's relationships, but I just feel like it's like, part of the normal routine. Like, it's just what you do, you know?
- [56:26]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. Every night before I go to bed, I'm like, anything else for you?
- [56:35]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Cole probably was texting a hillside. Being like, sorrow, I hit you, so Ali. So whatever. He's gsnack.
- [56:45]
Ronnie Karam
So now Braden's broken bed, y'. All. The brothers sneak up to spy on Braden and this girl, and they see that he's broken the bed, and they sneak downstairs laughing. And Steve Sr. Comes out, and Jake's like, high balls, man. You're gonna need a new bed. He's like, all right, just be respectful when she comes out of here, because one thing I'm teaching my boys is to respect women. All right?
- [57:11]
Ben Mandelker
So she comes through, they say, hi. She walks out, and she has the. She has her boots back. So then Steven's like, hey. Oh, sorry. No, son, you say this instead. Hey, look what I saw on Instagram. It's Masha. See where she is? Look at that. And it's like, Masha has taken a photo with, like, the big. That big Batman building in the background of Nashville. See, now, this is how you terrorize someone. Janet was in such a snit about Zach on the Valley, posting in by text, like, oh, I'm in. I'm in Big Bear. The way you really do it is you drive out to Big Bear, and they take the pictures, act. That's how you. That's. That's that follow. And Masha's lead.
- [57:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, well. You're kidding me. She's in Nashville. As if he doesn't know. And they're. Come on. You knew she was here? No, I swear. I've not responded to a text or a call from her, except for yesterday when I went to the bathroom and screamed at her and nobody heard me. Surely they're like, yeah, whatever. Nobody believes him. And he's like, well, she did call me and said that no one can tell me where me or my friends can be. So I guess she did it after all. Wait a minute. Something's going on outside. Is there something going on with my truck? And we find out that the window is busted. Masha strikes.
- [58:29]
Ben Mandelker
Windows busted. All the trucks have their windows busted in. And fun fact, it was not Masha. It was actually my telepathic rage. And it finally worked. After 13 years watching Bravo, I was finally able to shoot my rage through a TV screen, break some windows, I think.
- [58:43]
Ronnie Karam
Well, I mean, it was either Masha or Galena trying to flame Masha or trying to frame Masha. What do you think?
- [58:48]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think it was. I think it was Masha. I think this one was. This one felt like a Masha crime. You know, Galena is more of a. Galena goes after the woman. Masha's gonna go after the boys, I think.
- [59:04]
Ronnie Karam
Well, Galena did go after Kars, though, in the past, because, remember, she smashed the car up crew. So I don't know. But you're right. She did go after. Well, I don't know. I don't know. It's.
- [59:13]
Ben Mandelker
Galena got dinner. Galena was welcomed into the fold. She got to sit with Steve. So she's feeling like high and mighty. And Masha's the one who's feeling on the outs at the moment. So Masha is. I think this is a Masha, Masha vandalism.
- [59:28]
Ronnie Karam
And also, she's on the scene, as we find out later.
- [59:31]
Ben Mandelker
She literally pops up right there. Got, like, bloody, like, bloody knuckles.
- [59:35]
Ronnie Karam
Means, motive, opportunity. Yeah. She comes in, she's like, hello, boys. Let's just playing some baseball outside. What a game. Usa. Usa. I will talk to dad. Good. Goodbye. You stay down here. Good boys. Masha loves you. How you leave me like this, alone.
- [59:57]
Ben Mandelker
By the way, how does she know where they even were?
- [59:59]
Ronnie Karam
So that's their Nashville house. Everybody knows where the Nashville house is.
- [60:03]
Ben Mandelker
Oh, that's their Nashville house?
- [60:05]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [60:06]
Ben Mandelker
I thought it was an Airbnb.
- [60:07]
Ronnie Karam
No, they have a Nashville house. They're so broke, man. They just can't pay their debts. So they got a big party house in Nashville.
- [60:15]
Ben Mandelker
I know she's here. I know she's here. And he goes, she came for a spouse meeting. You need to be tolerant. She came for a spots meeting. Okay. Fennel. Ever hear of it? It comes in seed form. She was there for that.
- [60:31]
Ronnie Karam
So she's like, okay, well, you flew all the way here. You're crazy. It was spies. She goes, okay, you son of. I killed you in your sleep. You'll never live again. You'll not have knees left when I'm done with it. Goodbye. Bye. Good to see you. Happy birthday, Jess. Goodbye.
- [60:50]
Ben Mandelker
She comes out all cheery. They just had this big argument upstairs. Well, I gotta get going. I told MASH I'd meet her behind a dumpster. We'd.
- [61:01]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So he immediately skedaddled. She was like, you get the outside right now. It's like, okay, boy, see you later.
- [61:08]
Ben Mandelker
So they leave. They. They get back to. They get back to the farm. It's like 6am the next day. I guess they did an overnight drive, a long drive. They get in. Everyone's, of course, awake and hanging out. And I'm like, oh, well, that was sort of a fun episode. Little did I realize There were still 10 minutes left of just sitting around this farmhouse. Literally, the rest of the episode is them sitting around this farmhouse.
- [61:28]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. So Cole and Jesse come in, and Casey and Allie are there. And Cole's like, never doing that again. Never invite me there again. Are you go. You're all gonna say hi to me or what? He's like, oh, you're here. I was just talking to Alex. Well, you didn't miss me? She's like, no, I didn't miss you. Like, how come? I just didn't. He goes, wow, even the baby kid. The baby just kicked me. She's like, that's not the only one. This family wants to kick you in the head, Cole.
- [61:55]
Ben Mandelker
The baby just thought you were a hillside. So then we go to our coffee shop, and Stephen and Christy walk in. They're. They're sitting there. They're gonna have mother, daughter, mother, mother, son talk. I lied. I forgot there was also a coffee shop in this past 10 minutes. In the final 10 minutes. So Stephen is like, so, are we good with Casey and Ally now? And Chris is like, yeah, well, as long as your Nashville days are over, you're never allowed to go to Nashville ever again the rest of your life. And he's like, I mean, we really did have a meeting. One of those. I mean, we really did have. We had to try spices and, you know, spices and seasonings. That's an important meeting. Spices and seasonings Everyone knows when I got my mba, you have to learn about spices and seasons. Mother, you're the most. And seasonings.
- [62:39]
Ronnie Karam
I didn't mean it to morph into a guy's trip, but it conveniently worked that way. Was, you know, before the wedding, before Jesse's birthday weekend. Yeah, well, I view it differently because I view it as a horrible time. And with the wedding, a shower, a photo shoot. I mean, you might be single now, but Colin, Jesse, are very much not. And I don't agree with the position you put everyone in. I need you to be a better example for your brothers.
- [63:02]
Ben Mandelker
Now, Mother, we did not need to be there for the baby shower. No, I was talking about baby shower. Saying that. Was Cole scheduled once every two weeks.
- [63:09]
Ronnie Karam
Shower.
- [63:09]
Ben Mandelker
Okay? We bought him new soap.
- [63:14]
Ronnie Karam
God forbid I'd be social. She goes, that's not what I said. Now, you literally just told me I have no social life without my brothers. You know, what if, like, I just have to sit in my house as a prison sentence because Jesse's getting married and Cole's having a baby, but because I'm single, I have to now be a hermit? Well, that was the most. Most tame Nashville trip, and I do nothing wrong. No, you just have to, like, go make friends or get some life outside of your brothers and stop dragging everybody into your. Just like your father. Your mother's right, sir.
- [63:44]
Ben Mandelker
Listen, you snowflake. Okay, just. She's just saying that he's got a wedding coming up, he's got a baby on the way, and now is not the time for you guys to be gallivanting all around Nashville, especially on the heels of you having a hissy fit about harvest season. And you can't go on a baby moon, so shut the fuck up. And.
- [64:01]
Ronnie Karam
And also, you were just, like, taking. Yeah, go jerk off on a wet corner. Jerk off in a corner. Also, you didn't just take them, like, out of love in your heart. You made them go as your. As their boss. That's different, too, you know, Little. So he gets really mad, and his eyes get really mean, just like his dad's when he gets mad, he has mean eyes. And Christy is like, well, you're just frustrated over your situation with Kala, and you're taking that out on me. And he's like, well, at least she's around all her friends and her family. And here I am, living in isolation, five miles from the nearest neighbor. I mean, God forbid I go to Nashville. I'm a horrible person. I mean, don't we just. I guess we won't go there anymore. Then don't worry. I'm saying, okay, I'm gonna take this mic off because you are gonna respect me. I will not have you talk to me like that. Do you understand me? I'm going to take my 19,000-calorie milkshake that I'm drinking in whatever kind of shop that we're in. They showed that thing.
- [64:59]
Ben Mandelker
I was like, statue of Liberty of lattes with me.
- [65:02]
Ronnie Karam
It's like, how is this woman so thin? It looked like an arm. It looked like a full arm filled with just cream. Delicious.
- [65:10]
Ben Mandelker
Looked like she was. Looked delicious. She also looked like she was, like, doing an off camera bet with someone. She's like, like, like, Chrissy, I bet you can't even go to Darla's coffee shop and drink a full size double cream latte.
- [65:24]
Ronnie Karam
She's like, I bet I can.
- [65:25]
Ben Mandelker
I will do it. And she orders it and she's like, staring at it the whole time and, like, total fear, like, you can do it, Chrisy. You can do it.
- [65:34]
Ronnie Karam
So he's like, oh, God. She goes, I'm not gonna let you treat me like this. And he says, you're the one talking that me, mother. She goes, well, maybe that needed to happen now. Excuse me. You know what? I'm gonna finish this in the car. Maisie, it was good to see you.
- [65:56]
Ben Mandelker
He's all mad. He's like, I can't believe mother said I can't go to Nashville anymore. Do you know, by the way, this, like, do you know how hard it is I live five miles from the nearest neighbor. Whose fault is that? Whose fault is that? You chose well.
- [66:08]
Ronnie Karam
He's resentful. He's resentful because he's left to run the company and he's, like, stuck as a prisoner for company that's failing. And he's the only educated one and he has to share everything with his brothers who really don't have any brains. And he's like the brains behind the operation. The only trouble is your operation is failing because of you. Like, you're a big part of that. So, like, you can't really resent anybody for having to live there when you're failing. Like, if you're rich and you start making them money, then you can leave, but you can't, like, pull a check for, like, going and living a rock star life in Dallas or whatever you want. Like, make up your mind.
- [66:43]
Ben Mandelker
Five miles in the country is like five minutes, by the way. Five miles in Los Angeles is an hour. Five miles in Gatlin, wherever they are. Gallatin. That's going to be five minutes, so I really don't want to hear it. Okay.
- [66:57]
Ronnie Karam
Well, he basically said in the first episode of season one, he was talking about how he's stuck here to help the family business, and there's literally nobody to date because everybody's married or they've known each other since middle school, like his brothers and their girlfriends, you know, so there's no one to date. There's no one on Tinder. Like you go on Tinder, and it's, like, 80 miles away. And so he has to go, like, to Dallas to meet anybody, and there's nobody close. And that's why he stays with Kala, because that's, like, literally all he has.
- [67:28]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yeah.
- [67:30]
Ronnie Karam
So cry for him, Ben. Feel for him. Okay.
- [67:33]
Ben Mandelker
He's so bad for him, suffering. So it's hard for him.
- [67:38]
Ronnie Karam
It's hard.
- [67:39]
Ben Mandelker
So now we go to Jesse and Alice farmhouse, because they're still all sitting there, and Jesse is like, we retired Nashville. And I was like, good, but you're really done for a while. And he's like, forever. And Cole goes, ever. In case. He goes, why? I mean. I mean, I'd go back just to. You know. And she's like, but why? No, no, you won't. But I'm wondering why you're saying that you won't go back. He said, because I thought you guys would like to hear me say that I wouldn't go back. I thought, see, I mean, I will go back. But I thought what would be nice would be if I said I wouldn't go back, because that way, it would be a lie, but it'd make you smile, and ladies need to smile.
- [68:18]
Ronnie Karam
I'm just trying to make you less mad at me. Well, you might as well be honest, not say never, because we know six months you're gonna go. He's like, well, for one, I don't have any upcoming Nashville trips. Well, but, you know, like how you said at the lake, you're never drinking again, and then you was drinking. He's like, well, but between the time of the lake to Nashville, I didn't drink.
- [68:40]
Ben Mandelker
That was two weeks.
- [68:43]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah.
- [68:45]
Ben Mandelker
Sometimes I feel like nothing I ever say is right. I'm like, because it isn't right, and you should just stop speaking.
- [68:52]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah. That's the one thing you're correct about. Nothing you ever say is right.
- [68:56]
Ben Mandelker
He's like, hey, y' all hear that Braden found a girlfriend? He's in love. Oh, yeah. Was that the only girl around? Yeah. You Lying. I mean, Mac and Johnny had girls. Why is this episode still going? Why is this Girls.
- [69:10]
Ronnie Karam
They were supposed to have girls. It's like, I can't tell my friends what to do. She's like, you can just answer. He's like, well, I'm tired of fighting and being accused of things that I did, Chuck. Well, I'm tired of having to set boundaries, of getting married ignored. You know, I just did a baby shit by myself in the corn.
- [69:25]
Ben Mandelker
Hey, you guys ever wonder what Stephen's up to? Maybe he's sitting in a coffee shop somewhere feeling sad because mom just sort of told him off by walking out a little bit. And they're like, yeah, let's go over there. So there's Stephen sitting alone next to his giant burj Dubai of coffee. And he's. And it's like, bling, bling. Kala saying, hey. It's like, dun, dun, dun. Kala's coming back. And, like, this is supposed to be, like, a big shocking thing, but it's not shocking. When we saw her packing up her stupid vase full of flowers last episode. Like, you gotta make us miss them before you bring them back.
- [70:01]
Ronnie Karam
Yeah, no one is surprised. Okay? No one is surprised. So that was it. The big McBee dynasty. Guys, hope it all works out.
- [70:11]
Ben Mandelker
God, maybe this time it'll work out for Stephen and Kala. Time will tell.
- [70:16]
Ronnie Karam
He just give it another shot, you crazy kids.
- [70:20]
Ben Mandelker
Next week, it looks like Cole is getting down on one knee and giving. Giving Casey some sort of popsicle ring or whatever. I guess. I guess he's gonna pop the question.
- [70:33]
Ronnie Karam
Let's see if he pops a prenup as well, because he was pretty judgy about that prenup today. So let's see if he tries to drop that. And Casey will beat his ass. Let's see.
- [70:43]
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Love talking to your Ronnie. And we'll be back with the Valley on the next episode.
- [70:53]
Ronnie Karam
Bye, everybody.
- [70:55]
Ben Mandelker
You deserve a bonus compliment. Why not? Sweet. Bye.
- [71:01]
Ronnie Karam
Bye.
- [71:02]
Ben Mandelker
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's.
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
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Ronnie Karam
With Caitlin o' Neal don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where?
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Ben Mandelker
And Gwen Pentland let's go into the.
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Ronnie Karam
Woods with Guy Tubs it's our queen.
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Ben Mandelker
It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.
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Ronnie Karam
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Ben Mandelker
Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop at Soly and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.
- [73:49]
Ronnie Karam
It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet Couture. We love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.