#2968 The Valley S2E18 Part 2: When The S**T Hits The Fanet

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode: #2968 "The Valley S2E18 Part 2: When The S**T Hits The Fanet
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: August 13, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Reunion Recap

The episode kicks off with an acknowledgment of premium subscribers enjoying ad-free content. Hosts Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dive directly into the second part of a two-part reunion recap for Bravo’s "The Valley." They remind listeners to catch Part One for a comprehensive understanding of the discussions.

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2. Kristen Doute and Luke's Engagement Story

The hosts delve into Kristen Doute's relationship with Luke, highlighting their engagement saga.

• Kristen's Initial Hesitation:
  Kristen recounts her reluctance to continue the relationship, stating, “Nothing’s gonna work. But, like, this is gonna be super fun” (00:14).

• Determining the Right Partner:
  She emphasizes Luke as "the one guy on earth who wasn't going to try and use anything he could from Vanderpump Rules against me" (01:29).

• The Engagement Ring:
  Kristen showcases her ring, sharing, “It was way bigger than I told him I wanted” (02:01). Ben humorously adds, “That was so good. She just goes like, she was so disgusted that Jason jumped fence for even two seconds” (02:29).

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3. Drama Surrounding Janet and Jason

The conversation shifts to the tension between Janet and Jason, particularly focusing on their reactions to Kristen and Luke's engagement.

• Excluding Brittany:
  Kristen justifies not including Brittany in the engagement plans, pointing out, “Every piece of gossip that has traveled this season has been through Britney” (03:03).

• Janet's Accusations:
  Janet accuses Kristen of undermining relationships, with Kristen responding, “You’re trying to be something that you’re not” (12:55).

• Use of Legal Terms:
  Kristen mentions using legal terminology influenced by watching "Judge Judy," leading to a humorous take on the seriousness of conversations (07:23).

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4. Confrontations and Accusations

The hosts dissect the heated exchanges between cast members, focusing on accusations of sexual misconduct and the appropriateness of terminology used.

• Defining Assault vs. Battery:
  The discussion clarifies the difference between “assault” and “battery,” with Jason pointing out, “Battery is touching. Assault isn’t actually touching” (18:31).

• Janet's Accountability:
  Janet is criticized for repeatedly bringing up past incidents to make strong points, with Ben asserting, “She is in many ways responsible for resuscitating this whole thing” (21:14).

• Impact on Relationships:
  The fallout from these accusations affects relationships within the group, leading to further tension and unresolved conflicts (23:04).

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5. Friendship Dynamics: Zach and Brittany

The hosts explore the longstanding friendship between Zach and Brittany, addressing rumors and personal dynamics.

• Enduring Friendship:
  Kristen and Zach's two-decade-long friendship is highlighted, with Kristen praising, “I love Zack so much. We're like besties” (30:01).

• Rumors of Infidelity:
  Rumors about Zach's alleged affairs with bar staff are discussed, with Zach firmly denying, “I never slept with my staff” (32:14).

• Bar Confrontations:
  A humorous yet tense recounting of an awkward encounter at a bar is shared, emphasizing the strained interactions (33:04).

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6. Final Thoughts and Attempts at Resolution

As the reunion draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the challenges of mending broken relationships within the group.

• Seeking Forgiveness:
  Zach opens up about his desire for forgiveness from Brittany, saying, “I hope that she could forgive me one day” (38:09).

• Unblocking Each Other:
  The tentative steps towards reconciliation are highlighted when Kristen and Zach discuss unblocking each other on social media, albeit with lingering mistrust (38:33).

• Final Toasts:
  The episode concludes with a humorous and somewhat cynical toast, reflecting the unresolved tensions and the complex web of relationships within the group (40:51).

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7. Conclusion and Sponsor Mentions

After wrapping up the reunion discussions, the hosts transition to the episode's outro, featuring a series of playful and rapid-fire sponsor mentions. This segment maintains the show's signature humor and lightheartedness despite the heavy topics discussed earlier.

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Notable Quotes

• Kristen Doute on Engagement:
  “Nothing’s gonna work. But, like, this is gonna be super fun” — Kristen Doute (00:14)

• Ben on Ring Reaction:
  “She was so disgusted that Jason jumped fence for even two seconds” — Ben Mandelker (02:29)

• Kristen on Partner Selection:
  “The one guy on earth who wasn't going to try and use anything he could from Vanderpump Rules against me” — Kristen Doute (01:29)

• Ben on Legal Terms in Conversations:
  “I used a legal term for the definition because, you know, I had just watched Judge Judy earlier that day” — Kristen Doute (07:23)

• Kristen on Friendship with Zach:
  “I love Zack so much. We're like besties” — Kristen Doute (30:01)

• Zach on Forgiveness:
  “I hope that she could forgive me one day” — Zach (38:09)

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Insights and Conclusions

• Complex Interpersonal Relationships:
  The episode underscores the intricate and often tumultuous relationships among cast members, highlighting how past grievances continue to influence current interactions.

• Impact of Public Accusations:
  Public accusations and the misuse of legal terminology exacerbate tensions, illustrating the delicate balance between personal accountability and group harmony.

• Struggle for Resolution:
  Despite efforts to mend fences, deep-seated mistrust and unresolved issues hinder true reconciliation, pointing to the challenges of maintaining genuine friendships under the scrutiny of reality TV dynamics.

• Humor Amidst Tension:
  The hosts skillfully inject humor into the discussions, providing a lighter take on serious topics and maintaining an engaging atmosphere for listeners.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of "Watch What Crappens" offers a detailed and nuanced exploration of the drama and dynamics within "The Valley" cast reunion. Through candid discussions, humorous asides, and insightful commentary, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam provide listeners with a comprehensive understanding of the complexities involved in reality TV friendships and conflicts.

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For more detailed analyses and exclusive content, support Watch What Crappens at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Listen to Watch What Crappens on the Wondery App or your preferred podcast platform.

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This summary is based on the transcript provided and aims to capture the essence of the podcast episode while omitting non-content sections such as advertisements and introductions.

Transcript

[Andy Cohen]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Kristen Doute]

Watch what Crappins.

[Andy Cohen]

Watch what Crappins. Guess what happens when there's so much what crap. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So Kristen's like, yeah, I told Luke we're gonna skip season two and three, and then we can move forward. And he's like, I actually don't want to watch any of that. And I was like, I'm like, season two, I think, is actually kind of an important season to watch. If you're gonna get into a relationship with Kristen, I think it's important to know about things like that. So Andy's like, kristen, when did you know Luke was. Well, when I would say the first six or seven months, I was, like, very much in tune, but I was like, I don't want to be. And it's just like what I do, I jump relationship to relationship. And we didn't live by each other. It was just all the logistics, and I was just pushing it away, like, nothing's gonna work. Nothing's gonna work. But, like, this is gonna be super fun. And he's young. He's eight years younger than me. So sometimes I was like. Then when he said, I love you, I thought, okay, sure, I'll do this one.

[Kristen Doute]

Let's just. The. The true answer is, when did you know that Luke was a one? When he wouldn't watch Vanderpump Rules. Okay? That's when Goreland. It's like the one guy on earth who wasn't going to try and use anything he could from Vanderpump Rules against me or, like, any kind of fame I would get from that. So that's the one. I'll take him. Pack him up.

[Andy Cohen]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So basically, Andy asked them, like, when they. When Luke said I love you first, and Luke says that he said it, then he backtracked. And they're just. They have a cute story there.

[Kristen Doute]

So she shows off her ring and stuff. And Andy's like, wow, were you happy with it? And Kristen's like, yeah, it was perfect. It was way bigger than I told him I wanted. I've been like, well, I'm not flashy, but, you know, it's great. And Jason Goes, wow, it's over four carats, right? And then the look that Janet gives Jason when he says, this was so good. She just goes like, she was so disgusted that Jason jumped fence for even two seconds. He's going to be in trouble on the way home.

[Andy Cohen]

He will be, sir. Kristen's like, I was absolutely shocked. I knew one day for sure, you know, he was gonna do it, but definitely didn't think it was gonna be on camera. That'd be crazy. It's actually something we talked about before and just not at that time. And I thought maybe like, next year or something like that. All right, well, Luke, Danny, and Nia, you really need to be commended. I mean, Kristen is known for cracking cases. You as that you were you, and you guys were able to pull it off. Brittany felt. You felt left out that she wasn't included in the boat for the engagement. Why didn't you include Britney, knowing that she' of Christian, best friends and looks.

[Kristen Doute]

Like, yeah, you can't trust Britney. That's why. I mean, look at Brittany. Every. Every piece of gossip that has traveled this season has been through Britney, which is so funny every time they ask, like, Janet, who told you this stuff? Britney. Hey, Zach, who told you this stuff? Brittany from last season. Hey, who told. Who told on Kristen, saying that she, Michelle, could be racist for this Trump affiliation or whatever? Britney. All roads back to Britney. That's why. And Andy's next question is, Britney, you ended up telling Jax about Kristen and Luke's engagement. She like, oh, my God. Worst mistake of my life. Worst mistake of my life.

[Andy Cohen]

My loss.

[Kristen Doute]

How could you say that when you're sitting across from Jax?

[Andy Cohen]

I know. Well, you didn't do that of revenge for not being included, did you? Oh, no, of course not. Okay. Even Chris and Luke now. I did not do that. Of revenge. So Jax is like. And I'm. I'm. I'm so sorry, man. I'm. I'm so sorry. I. I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought it'd be fun to, you know, be vengeful because I wasn't invited there. I was the guy who was vengeful, basically. He didn't even say that, but he. Basically. I don't know what he kept saying. I don't know what I was thinking. We know what you were thinking. You were pissed that you weren't on the cast trip, so you're gonna try to ruin it. Yeah, Andy. Andy's like, yet he put it in the group chat, and he's like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, and they gave me. Jesse, gave me a hard time. I mean, I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. I'm crazy.

[Kristen Doute]

Well, how did you feel about Janet and Jason not coming to the luau event to celebrate your engagement? Kristen's like, homie, that was smart. You know, she could have come, but, like, you know, it was good that she didn't. And Jason's like, yeah, I mean, we wouldn't have come, like, with guns blazing or anything like that. Well, I don't think it would have mattered, but, you know, since it would, they offered not to come. That was nice.

[Andy Cohen]

Well, I mean, they were. You know, they weren't in a good place at all. And, like, this is the happiest day of her life, and she doesn't necessarily want to see someone who she doesn't. Doesn't like staring at her. And Jan doesn't want to put on a T shirt that has her face on it. So sort of like, okay, the thing that makes the most logical sense is just to skip it. So I think everything's okay now. Right?

[Kristen Doute]

Right.

[Andy Cohen]

I'm smiling again. And he's like, all right, well, looking back, was it everything you could have vote for Kristen? Beyond? Like, beyond. Absolutely someone.

[Kristen Doute]

I mean, my. My initial goal was to get married in a bed bath, and. But it was beyond. It was beyond. And, you know, like, the favorite part was, like, at the end of it, I got to call Janet a stupid whore. So that was fun. Very, very romantic.

[Andy Cohen]

As someone who never exaggerates, I can say with authority that it was the best engagement in the entire history of engagements. Every single alien told me so.

[Kristen Doute]

I had plans to get engaged at a Big Lots parking lot, but they're closed now, so this is the next best thing.

[Andy Cohen]

Andy. Well, I have to say, Kristen, having known you for so many years on and off television, you've always had a certain level of chaos surrounding you, and it's been really fun to see you. Marmelo? No, just forced to not drink for nine months.

[Kristen Doute]

You know, Kristen, there are just those people that no one wants to sit next to on public transportation. And sometimes you look at those people and you think, why can't the person in that seat and the person in that seat who are both people I don't want to sit next to sit together and give me a free seat? And you two have done that, So I just. For all of America, thank you. Thank you.

[Andy Cohen]

And Kristen keeps doing this thing that she did. She's Been. She did it all reunion. She has this, like, really goofy laugh. She's like, yeah, I'm much more chill now. I'm much more chill, Luke. He calms me down. It's like the goofiest laugh she's ever done.

[Kristen Doute]

So. Yeah. Wow, you two really seem to complement each other. I've already sent you those little pine cones you wear around your neck for your wedding gift. So congratulations, you two crazy kids. All right, let's take a break. Okay, we're back. Fittingly, Kristen and Luke's Hawaiian engagement was capped off with a few volcanic eruptions from their friends. Jesse, did you have a plan to confront crazy eyed Aaron or have a conversation with him before you went?

[Andy Cohen]

Well, I did always want to have the conversation. And I kept saying, well, you know, my girlfriend called Michelle to set boundaries, but Aaron never did. And then I had this realization, well, I'm also a man, and I could call Aaron and set my own boundaries because that's what men do. They go up to other men, they put one hand on their shoulder, another on their chests, try to keep their erection from hitting his erection, and say, I'm setting a boundary right now.

[Kristen Doute]

And then if the erection does hit the other erection, we have a sword fight. Then whoever wins the sword fight gets to mark a map. And that's how maps were made, Andy, by men.

[Andy Cohen]

Okay, well, I'm both repulsed and slightly excited by this story. Were you happy with the conversation? Does anyone want to make a map with me?

[Kristen Doute]

It was a good conversation. I love that we see the clip and he's like, aaron, did you ever stick your wiener in Michelle? And Aaron's like.

[Andy Cohen]

No, no, no, no. Yeah. Michelle, what did Aaron tell you about the conversation when he got back to your room? I mean, he said it went well overall, and I think they got along in Hawaii. I mean, you saw the lap picture, and we saw the. We see this picture of, like, Jesse sitting on Aaron's lap, and then he's like, okay, well, I'm glad things are positive between you and Aaron. I mean, we're gonna have to eventually move forward. And, you know, they're happy. They want to move forward. So, like, what's the point of holding any animosity except for torturing Michelle, which is, at the end of the day.

[Kristen Doute]

You can have an enemy or you can have someone that you don't really like, but that's always got good coke, So I went with the latter. Okay. All right. Kristen, you leveled an insult at Janet when you told Britney in Hawaii that she was a fan of Vanderpump Rules. Well, being a fan of the show isn't creepy, you know, but it's like she just changed when season one happened, you know? Like, I mean, there's stuff that even that happened that I didn't even bring up. Like when Jax. Jax brought my ex boyfriend, and I see her fucking interview bites, and she's like, blaming me for a relationship with that guy. She was literally one of my best friends. And then we see a clip of Janet being like, oh, really? And she's making it sound like that guy was a bad boyfriend when, like, I saw that relationship Kristen, and he was in a relationship with crazy Kristen.

[Andy Cohen]

Yeah. Not a great girlfriend moment at all. So Kristen's like, and you're sitting there badmouthing me on camera, and I was floored. And. And he's like, well, did you befriend people like Sheena and Grison to get on tv, Jazz? Like, no, not to get on tv, just to be on television sets. I honestly, I just. I want. TV is a legacy media. I just wanted to be streaming. If I could make it onto Peacock, that'd be great for me.

[Kristen Doute]

My dream as a little girl was to make it onto VCRs. But, you know, dreams evolve as we age, Andy. So, I mean, you guys are making it sound like I have good as gold posters in my room. I'll bet you have every song released on Vanderpump Rules on your fucking music app on your phone. You know, she'd be there.

[Andy Cohen]

So do I bet if you were.

[Kristen Doute]

On this show trying to start fights with Kristen, I'd bring it up.

[Andy Cohen]

So Janet's like. I mean, we wouldn't be that person.

[Kristen Doute]

To join the show, though. We'd be exactly what Kristen is accusing Janet of. We'd be on that show. Like, I'd love to fight with you right now. Sorry. So I'm an asshole. Could you please give me, like, 10 of your. What were they called? Can I please have, like, one of each of.

[Andy Cohen]

One of each of the prime cocktails?

[Kristen Doute]

Can I have one of them?

[Andy Cohen]

If Kristen ever came for me. If Kristen ever came for me and I wanted to make up, there'd be like, ain't nobody love you. Like I'm loving you. Like I'm loving you. Like I'm loving you.

[Kristen Doute]

Just start screaming, it's not about the pasta every two seconds. We'd be the worst. But, yes, Janet is a fan, but she's like, well, whatever. You guys are making it sound like it's crazier than it is. And she's like, no, I think that you're trying to be something that you're not. Okay? And Janet's like, well, I mean, Sheena would have loved if I sang Good as Gold or had posters. She would have loved that so, so much. God, I hope she'll sign one. Do you think she has any posters in her? In her ass?

[Andy Cohen]

I think you've developed an alter ego. Oh, I would love to be on that show, too. I. You know, I can really sing very well as an AI character. Shut up. That's who you are on camera. Fan it, fan it. And Janet's like, I didn't change when. When we got on camera, they told me I had to stay in the same outfit that I was in. So I did not change. We were bad for a year before filming. Don't forget, I was a bitch to you on camera because we were already in a fight. She was like, johnny, it's like you have an alter ego that's. You act like on camera. You act like someone different than when you're on camera.

[Kristen Doute]

I love that Janet's alter ego is even really boring and nobody likes it. She's like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna come up with a new personality for tv, and it's terrible and boring. She's like, you know what my new Persona is gonna do? It's gonna make really, really terrible microwave food and have a low hood. Watch out, watch out.

[Andy Cohen]

So Jason's like, well, there's no specific examples. And Dan's like, well, we've shed so many examples. Okay, and how many do you need?

[Kristen Doute]

Jason, this entire reunion is about how much Janet sucks. And Jason's like, give me one example. Give me one single example.

[Andy Cohen]

So Daniel's like, there are so many. So Jason goes, oh, man, you guys didn't even know us before we started filming. And Janet says, yeah, I didn't know you two. Basically, Danny and Nia. And Nia's like, okay, you weren't the first couple. Come over and meet our children, our daughters, when they were born, back when it was one under one and then two under two. Come on now. Yeah. The first couple dancing out with our son in our living room. We didn't know you before we were filming.

[Kristen Doute]

He's like, well, that was when we were getting to know each other, but. And Jenna's like, yeah, that was one time we went to your house. I've been to your house one time. Okay? She's oh, one time we didn't go to lacma. Together. We haven't spent time at group gatherings together. We loved you guys. We loved, loved you guys. You were the first friends to meet our daughters. Oh, for Christ's sake, don't hold that over somebody's head. It's not like you could leave the house, you know.

[Andy Cohen]

Also shocking. I mean, I think. Was this the first time a museum has ever been mentioned on the Valley or Vandenpump Rules? She said, we went to LACMA together, which is the big museum here in la. I was like, wait, they know there's a museum here?

[Kristen Doute]

It's amazing that Janet went to a museum basically named after her personality type. So Jason's like, well, we really hit it off. And he's like, exactly. So don't you dare say we weren't friends. You danced with my newborn before filming. That's wrong. More lies. I mean, aren't her babies really young? That would make sense that they met them right before.

[Andy Cohen]

I think this kind of tracks.

[Kristen Doute]

I think it does track, but I think wants people thinks that relationships are real when they're not really real. They're like some fake, bullshit LA relationship. Some people from the cast came over to meet your kids and get to know you before you started shooting, because the show is about being friends. And you were like, these are real friends. Daniel, do you remember how she did the Grapevine with little Nathan, whatever his name, Little. Little Brooks, whatever.

[Andy Cohen]

Well, it's like when Britney wanted to have everyone over so we could all just hang out. Like Morse. She had a pool party and you, me, Michelle and Brittany were all hanging out. And Nia's like, yeah, I can't stand them lying over and over and over again and over and over and over. And Janet's like, well, I mean, why did you ask me if you were welcome in my home for Ariana's birthday? If everything was perfect back then? How about that? Well, I didn't say it was perfect because, by the way, we're back to my argument with Janet, not Neos. I didn't say it was perfect. I'm saying you and I were friends for a long time, and then when you start filming, you acted differently.

[Kristen Doute]

Well, when we started filming, you announced that I said Michelle was racist, which I didn't. And that changed a lot for me. I just said she probably could be racist because she's a Trumper. That's very, very different. Okay? We still haven't gotten to the bottom of that. And you see Michelle gulp. You know when she says that, she's like, yeah, you said. I said Michelle was a racist. And they just cut to Michelle. She's like.

[Andy Cohen]

When she goes, it's like a real. Like a cartoon gulp. It's like, gulp gold. So Andy is like, all right, Janet, on the boat last night, and why you said Danny had sexually assaulted Jasmine. Is everyone ready for this part? Because it's gonna be a fun one again. You just made peace with Danny and Nia in the pool. Why go there? Well, honestly, once he started talking, Kristen said, you've been attacking Danny and Nia. You've been attacking Danny and Nia. And I just felt like, I'm not attacking somebody. This guy did something pretty horrible, and I think we need to address that. And this is, though, like, it was like it was serious. The thought was serious, and she thought it was serious. And, you know, I used a legal term for the definition because, you know, I had just watched Judge Judy earlier that day, which is basically passing the bar. And I also did pass a bar and had a cocktail.

[Kristen Doute]

And Kristen's like, well, it had been addressed 40 times. And she's like, well, why did you bring their names into that conversation? Because you attacked them. So I was being a bitch. Okay, well, I guess the reason I was talking about Danny and Neo was because of his actions then. That's why. That is why. Well, Kristen said you were attempting to ruin someone's life who doesn't deserve it. Were you? She goes, I guess if I'm talking about things that you did, I think you were responsible for your actions, so not me talking about your actions. So if the allegations weren't true, that would absolutely be on me that I was trying to ruin your life. But I think that you put your hands on women without their consent. You have to own up to that. Which is true. But he did own up to it. Multiple times. He's still owning up to it. He actually did, but Good point.

[Andy Cohen]

He did. He actually really, really did.

[Kristen Doute]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[C]

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[Andy Cohen]

And Andy is like, so touching someone's butt is sexual assault.

[Kristen Doute]

Yes. Andy, are you just just hearing that? He's like, oh, God, we need to have new rules. Watch what happens live. Bartender.

[Andy Cohen]

I consulted the law firm of Dave and Busters and it is confirmed. That is the definition. And Jason's like, well, actually it's. It's actually battery. Exactly. Yeah, we looked it up and technically it is, but it's like not great. And it's like battery. So Jason's like, yeah, because you're touching. And assault isn't actually touching. Battery is touching. You know, saying those words are so powerful. Battery. I mean, we just invested in solar power, so when you say things like battery, it just shows upsetting. So Janet's like, well, we don't do these things that classify as a definition of them. Okay, well, don't do those things. And Dan's like, well, I owned up to it though. He owned up to it, taking accountability and will continue to because that's his character.

[Kristen Doute]

And he's like, basically, we just had this talk in the pool the day before, making up and agreeing to be in a good place. And then you do this, throwing these words around the very next day. And Janice like, well, when I'm being told I'm attacking you guys, I'm gonna respond by attacking you guys. I mean, that's just how being accused of attacking goes. I don't know what you want me to say. And Kristen's like, melissa even told you shut up. And Jason's like, your collateral damage in this conversation. Because between Kristen and Janet, basically, I guess Danny. And Danny's like, but you attacked me. And Kristen's like, yeah, Melissa's literally yell you to shut up. So Andy says, okay, you guys know you're using a loaded term here, right? And Jasmine says it.

[Andy Cohen]

Yeah.

[Kristen Doute]

And Jasmine's like, well, definition. Like, she's not wrong. She's not wrong. I mean, that is the definition. And Janet says, well, when Jasmine and I first talked about this, I said to her, when I said to her, when she said he was grabbing, you know, this person's ass, Melissa's ass, my thighs, making sexually explicit comments, call me daddy. I said, you know, that sexual assault. And she said, yes. And it's not fair. And this happens all the time to women. And none of these guys, none of these idiot men, I think you said. That's what you said. None of these idiot men. Right? Jasmine was like, yep, yeah.

[Andy Cohen]

Do you want to say it now also to back me up here?

[Kristen Doute]

No, no, I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it, but. Yep.

[Andy Cohen]

Well, none of these. Any men ever have to face consequences for it. I mean, I'm not going to dispute any of that. I think it does happen all the time. I think it is, and I do think that guys get away with it all the time. But I'm not sure that Janet, right now, in this moment, was the ambassador for this movement that. That we needed or what was appropriate for the show.

[Kristen Doute]

And again, it's not about whether Danny or not did it or not or whether it was right or wrong. She's making it about that again, but it's not it. The question is, why do you keep bringing up over and over and over and over and over and over again every time you need something in a fight? Like, Danny wasn't even in this fight.

[Andy Cohen]

And like, ultimately, Kristen did 100% bring Danny and Nia into this fight on this boat, like, they were having a talk. And Kristen brought that up. She inserted it in. She is in many ways responsible for resuscitating this whole thing. But Janet, even if she felt all these things, because she's basically saying, like, oh, like. Like. Like you're saying I'm attacking them, but, like, this guy did something like that, she, in the interest of actually trying to make things better, I think she should have said, I'm not getting into the Danny and Nia thing, you know, because it's already been talked about to death, including right now, but it's been talked to death. And if she had a genuine interest, I think, in rebuilding that relationship, I think she would have said she. She could have still maintained her feelings. It was not that. It's not saying that she would have to suppress her feelings. It's saying, my feelings on this. I'm not sharing it with you, Kristen, because you are my enemy right now. And. And like, it's. Is it worth having collateral damage on someone you're trying to repair with just to make a strong point to someone you don't like? Is that really worth it? I don't think so.

[Kristen Doute]

This show's exhausting me. So Kristen's like, well, you're trying to make him look bad. Janet's like, well, we should definitely sweep that behavior under the rug. And everyone basically is yelling at her like, we're not sweeping it onto the rug. We've talked about it. Not really a goddamn.

[Andy Cohen]

The rug is whack rug, whack rug.

[Kristen Doute]

So Jesse's like, the only person that should be able to say what it was is Jasmine and Melissa. And Janet goes, well. And Jasmine's agreeing with me. Look at her. Jasmine agree with me. Jasmine's like, yes.

[Andy Cohen]

No. No. Yes.

[Kristen Doute]

Nope. Yep.

[Andy Cohen]

Well, that's why Melissa said, stop talking about it. Janet, nobody wants. I think Jasmine's having a. Having. Having an episode over there. So Janet is like. And after she asked me to stop talking about it, other than when I've had. When I've had two in interviews, I apologize them and I have stopped. And Jasmine's like, yes, and thank you for that. It was like we were. Are we ever gonna get past this? Because now I'm getting angry and it's gonna make me angry at Danny all over again. Should I get angry at Danny again? Should I set us up for season three? Everyone?

[Kristen Doute]

Anyone? Danny, we need to have a talk. We need to have a talk. Okay, we're gonna have a talk. Sammy's like, okay. By a show of hands, who thinks Janet was being reckless in using that term? So everybody but Michelle, Jax, Janet, and Jason raise their hands, and Jasmine and Brittany kind of have to. Well, Brittany's kind of trying to be non committal. She's like, playing with the strap in her dress or something. So she's like, oh, well, I'll raise my hand and she can tell the other side of the catch. I didn't write my hand. I was messing with my dress. That was the most awkward question I ever heard in my whole life.

[Andy Cohen]

My life. Oh, you're a cool guy. You're the coolest guy I ever met in my life. So Jasmine's like. She's like, I think she was coming from a good place, but at the same time, I think it just went wrong. And Chris is like, I want to know what you were trying to accomplish. Okay, she was coming from a malicious place. What were you trying to accomplish by saying the word on repeat? Who were you trying to destroy? And Jazz, like, why would you prefer it groped? Molested. Like, what. What word would you have preferred? He's like, molested.

[Kristen Doute]

This is like, literally, this cast has not learned. This is the dumbest thing to keep bringing it up. Janet over. Just let it go. She's going to make it worse every time. She's like, what would make it. What would make it better? Should I say grope? Molested. Great. You know, bang would have been better. I mean.

[Andy Cohen]

Hand swing.

[Kristen Doute]

I mean, what do you want me to say.

[Andy Cohen]

Maxwell? So Jasmine is basically, like, saying to Zach, like, I think she's trying to help be a good friend, but I don't think it's. I don't think it's working. So Neil's like, we need to clear this up. And Andy's like, okay, okay. Jason as an attorney is this defamatory. Possibly Orchid's comp attorney. Like, give me a break.

[Kristen Doute]

That is a paper pusher attorney over there. I'm so sure that we've seen Jason's attorney skills during this reunion, but. Okay, let's go with it. So Jason's school. What school? Yeah, that counts. It's like, you're a workman's comp attorney. Give me a break. And Andy's like, well, nothing could happen in a court of law if she had press charges for touching his ass. And he's. Well, I mean, I doubt the DA would pick it up because there's not really a lot of damages. You know, it's like a bad thing happened, but it's not like, you know, he do jail time or anything like that. And Janet's just like, then Andy is like, home, Dan or Jason. God, everyone's name is so basic on this show. I get them confused.

[Andy Cohen]

So Andy is like, so then if it's no jail time, no damages, why would you use the term? Thank you. Thank you.

[Kristen Doute]

Because she's an evil person. She's an evil person. And I told Danny, you should study her next time you want to hide in the grates and try and get method for her role. She loves to hurt people. She loves to hurt people. And she loves the drama and she loves the attention. That's what she loves.

[Andy Cohen]

Okay, Dia, you wanted to say what? I just think there needs to be clarity because there are words and things that are thrown around that are not true. You've said multiple times. This has happened multiple times over and over again. And when you say multiple times, like I'm saying multiple times. Multiple times. Just in this paragraph, you're literally trying to assassinate his career as a person. His character is a person multiple times. So to put things out there that have not happened are not okay. And if I have to. To say this multiple times. I will say it multiple times, Janice.

[Kristen Doute]

Just like, okay, well you know those words can ruin. She goes, yeah, well there's lots of words that have been dropped among this cast that can ruin people. I. Okay, so now she's switching to the victim.

[Andy Cohen]

Someone said green. Janet Green bean can destroy a person's career in the right contexts. Just think about it. Think about it.

[Kristen Doute]

Well, you said that Michelle was a on camera Danny. And he's like, I didn't say that. He never said those words.

[Andy Cohen]

Another lie.

[Kristen Doute]

Well, you said. I heard that Michelle sleeps with a billionaire for a 1500 a night on camera. Is that not damaging her reputation?

[Andy Cohen]

No, it's establishing it. I mean, I never shed. Yeah, you're lying, Janet. Putting bad words out there. And. And so then Jason's like, are we not allowed to paraphrase? You learned that in law school too, by the way. Great argument. So Michelle's like, she is say she's saying this is damaging for everybody. Google my name team. Now it seems that I'm a hooker. Now we all agree it was shitty that Jesse said this and maybe Danny shouldn't have brought it on camera. Even though he claims he didn't remember there's a camera. I don't think if you look up Michelle Lolly, we're not gonna find like a pornhub page for her or some sort of escort service. I don't think anyone thinks Michelle's a prostitute. And I don't think it's like out there as like a massive headline everywhere.

[Kristen Doute]

But maybe this was what he did too. I mean, Danny brought it up on camera, which wasn't cool, but again, they all do that on these shows. And that's what Jesse did by putting in the group chat. He wanted it to get on camera. I mean, he knows that Janet, that Danny or Jax is gonna. I think he dropped it for Jax to say something, you know, But Danny beat Jax to it cuz Jax was in.

[Andy Cohen]

You know, Danny fell into the trap. I mean, he definitely brought it on camera. So Kristen says she's like, Daniel never said Michelle's or. I love when Kristen calls him Daniel. To show complete alliance with Nia. I will call him Daniel at this moment.

[Kristen Doute]

Yeah. So Jason goes, okay. Prostitute. Janet goes, yeah, Danny said that she's sleeping with men for money. No, she said that Jesse put that in the group chat. You twister. Well, what a bunch of dumbasses. They're just dumb asses. I can't. Oh, but you have all this wrong. It's wild it's wild, Janet. Y' all feel stupid listening to them talk?

[Andy Cohen]

All right, all right, let's move on. Speaking of feeling stupid for listening to people talk, I need to wrap up this reunion, so let's move on. Okay, so after the gang returned home from Hawaii, Michelle threw a Zen party. But all the koi fish and bonsai trees in the world couldn't bring peace to this chaotic friend group. Brittany, the last time we saw you and Zach together on the show, he was screaming at you. Do you guys want to fight some.

[Kristen Doute]

Oh, my God, I love Zach so much. We're like besties, you know? I love you, Zach. I love you so much. You know, like, we talk all the time, like, every day or every other day or, like, five times day every day. Because I love you, Zach. You know? Nobody loves you more than me. Friend, date night. Friend, date night.

[Andy Cohen]

So you two are good?

[Kristen Doute]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Cohen]

I love him. My best friend my entire life. Okay. And he's like. So you've been buddies for what, like, 20 years? Can we just Detroit? I mean, I don't understand how you guys have a friendship for 20 years, and you're on Bravo, and it hasn't even crumbled yet. What's going on here?

[Kristen Doute]

Well, the way we met is I used to cheer for eku.

[Andy Cohen]

Go eq.

[Kristen Doute]

And our mascot is Emu, which is real fun.

[Andy Cohen]

We gave an honorary degree to Ekinsu the other year. It was great. I can sue. She actually dressed up like the Emu for Ekinsu was the emu for either. It was a great day, and one.

[Kristen Doute]

Of my friends cheered with me. I dated Zach, and Zach's like. You dated a cheerleader? Yep. And then me and Zach stay best friends eventually. And the other guy, all crazy. But let me show you a picture of Zach. It is so cute. And this picture of Zach comes on. And can I just say, Zach's hair, even the helmet hair of last season was a great improvement over what we saw in this picture. Good Lord. Man talk. He's always had a Lego man fetish. This was always home. Like, straight down and shellacked straight down. Like he looked like another version of a Lego head.

[Andy Cohen]

It was awful. I forgot that Zach used to look like that because he used to pop up in Kristen's. I mean, in. In Britney's photos for years, just when she was on Vanderpump Rules. I was always like, who is that gay with the strange bangs? And. Yeah, I forgot. He has really. He has made things better for himself, for sure.

[Kristen Doute]

Yeah. Definite improvement there so, Danny, Jack stopped inviting you to things? Why do you think he's like. Well, I think he did it because he wanted to be able to talk behind my back and say things like, danny's not here because he's drunk somewhere. When I was literally at home putting our kids to bed drunk. So.

[Andy Cohen]

I guess. I guess I was somewhere drunk. All right, is that why you said you heard that Jackson slept with the staff at the bar? You all have heard that rumor, right? And Jackson who? I mean, what staff member? I mean, tell me who I've had. You know what? I've got, like, two girls that work there. Three people who work there. I mean, who could. Who could it be? I'm like. You're really narrowing the field. Actually, Jax, you're making the rumor sound actually better, like, it doesn't work that way.

[Kristen Doute]

There was a rumor about one of them. I figured that one wasn't true, you know, unless there was another girl I don't know about. But there were definitely rumors. There was a rumor, yeah.

[Andy Cohen]

Yeah, there was a rumor, but I never slept with my staff. I don't. I don't do that. I. I mean. I mean, blowjobs, sure, but sleeping with? Nah. Okay, maybe once, maybe twice. All right. Slept with all of them. I mean, not that big of a deal, but. I don't know where you hear these rumors from.

[Kristen Doute]

Well, I heard from some of your friends that go there quite often. Oh, well, we make jokes about it because it was at a bar, so, like, we make jokes that I. Everybody. But, you know, it's just a bar. That's what you do at bars. All right, all right.

[Andy Cohen]

You do looks like. Well, you came in with one of your ladies to a bar where I was at, and I don't know if you guys went home or banged or not, but, you know, we were. We were having mixed something.

[Kristen Doute]

Oh, what'd she look like? What'd she look like? What? What? What girl? What? What? Who was she? What'd she look like?

[Andy Cohen]

Yeah, it was a girl from the bar, but blonde girl.

[Kristen Doute]

What?

[Andy Cohen]

Blonde? Yeah, blonde. Blonde girl, big boobs going down, and you right in the middle of the bar. It was really awkward for everyone there. You don't remember that?

[Kristen Doute]

Well, Jax, Taylor should not own a bar. He's got a lot of issues. All right, I heard that even though she wanted to do nothing with the season, your girlfriend came to Michelle's Zen party. Oh, my gosh. How did they not get this on camera? That girl showed up? Yes.

[Andy Cohen]

Sounds like they did. And then she probably Issued some sort of like, you know, cease and desist. Because Jesse is like, yeah. At the end of the night, I was supposed to be at a birthday dinner for her at Chateau and you know, she called and said, are you guys done? And I said, yeah. So she came by, she left her own birthday party to come to our shoot, which everyone would totally do. That totally makes sense, right? My story pans out.

[Kristen Doute]

That is weird. She was at a birthday dinner at Chateau. Well, I guess they shot late, so she came after her thing. So, Michelle, how were your interactions with Jesse's girlfriend and Michelle, like, totally, by the way, illustrating why she's on the end of the couch. I mean, Michelle, this reunion is just like. Are you dogging do me? Yes. Michelle, how did you react to the girlfriend showing up? Not very well. But I cannot discuss it because my lawyer told me not to dis. Yeah, that's what lawyers do. As a lawyer, let me just tell you, sometimes a lawyer will come in and say, please don't discuss that. I'm a lawyer.

[Andy Cohen]

Shut up, Jason. Well, I heard that you had a massive screaming match after the cameras went down. The sort of screaming match we would have loved to have shown on Bravo and put in all the trailers, but we could shouldn't because this gave us a season desist. Yeah, she told. She's. She told like not talk about it because of her threats. Okay. That's what, that's what Michelle's doing. She could the girl's friend's threads and that's why she's not wanting to talk about it right now. I don't know if she'll ever be able to talk about the rest of her life.

[Kristen Doute]

Can we not do this in the next season? Like all this talk about legal. This looks. We're not. We're not going to talk about this because she's not here to defend herself. Okay, guys? And everybody knows that I, Jesse Lally, am nothing if not a gentleman. Thank you.

[Andy Cohen]

So Andy is not happy because clearly there's some good ass footage that they can't show and he knows about it and he doesn't like Jesse doing this thing of like, she's not here to defend herself. Well, I know, but she did show. She showed up at an all cast event and then she made a legal threat. So.

[Kristen Doute]

And it was very clear that everybody was Dill villain filming Aaron was Dill spinning the Honey Zion around and around.

[Andy Cohen]

Well, they picked up cameras and put a boom over our head as soon as she walked in the restaurant, as they should have. And this Is where Andy goes from, like, smiley TV host to, like, angry TV executive. He's like, as they should have. They were doing their job. And if your girlfriend showed up today, you know what I would do? Stick a mic on her and get her in there. This is a hot set. This is a shot show called the Valley. That's your girlfriend. I want to talk to her. Bring her out. Let's get her on the phone. You understand?

[Kristen Doute]

Yeah. I love the pause, because I get her on the phone, and Jesse's like, okay.

[Andy Cohen]

You understand?

[Kristen Doute]

I was like, whoa.

[Andy Cohen]

Do you understand? Was great. It was because it. Because Andy's 100, right? This person went to a taping a lot. It's a hot set, as Andy said. Like, it's active. Even if the cameras are down, those cameras will always come up if given the chance. Like that. She went there, and then she's all of a sudden, like, oh, no. Like, don't film me. I'm gonna cease and desist. Oh, get over it, lady. Stop it already. And she's angry that people call her litigious, and this is what she does. I've had enough of her.

[Kristen Doute]

Yeah. Well, now for some final thoughts. Okay. You know, we're. Reunions are really about love and finding a way forward. All right, everybody. So, Michelle, now you have another chance to say something nice about Jesse, which you refuse to say in Santa Barbara. She's like, well, he is a good father. And I never wanted to dig Isabella away. I did want to ask her to get a job to help him pay his rent so she wouldn't be homeless after the dime, but, you know, zing. All the moments you guys have together on camera is very dodging, and I. Michelle is run out of batteries, so let's move on. Let's change the question, because that one side. Okay, Jason, do you feel resolved? He's like, um, well, it's tough. You know, I wanted things to go differently. I wanted people to hate Janet less, and I think everyone hates her more. I feel America asking us not to sit at their lunch table right now. And as a lawyer, I object.

[Andy Cohen]

Zach, do you have anything you want to say to the group? Um, first, did I have to really be on this side of the reunion? I hate it over here also. I mean, I think at least one person. Janet, I feel like if you can take accountability for the things that you've done, and I'll take accountability for the things that I've done, which is nothing, and we can move forward and make Britney's life just a little Bit easier. Yes, please. I would love that.

[Kristen Doute]

Okay, maybe we can start by unblocking each other on socials. And Janet's like, he is unblocked. Oh, yeah, she unblocked me, but then I blocked her. Whoops, sorry. Yeah, but you want me to unblock you now? Because I'll do it now. I'll do it right now.

[Andy Cohen]

So they unblock each other and JC goes, oh, does anyone care that I have Zach blocked? He goes, oh, you do. I didn't even notice.

[Kristen Doute]

He'S missing. Those sponsored Dockers posted nobody so. Or Dockers posts, I should say. Well, all right, Jax, congratulations on your sobriety, might I add. Lol. So I hope. Hope you keep building on that nothing that you've established. Okay, where's your headspace as you leave tonight? And why is there a black car waiting outside from you from a guy saying, get outside with the money or I'm leaving?

[Andy Cohen]

You know, my main objective was just obviously just talk to Brittany and just move forward and be peaceful to each other and be amazing co parents for our son and just be peaceful. And you know, I've done a of lot lot. I've done a lot. And I'm hoping that she could forgive me one day. I'm not saying today. If she could do it today, that'd be great. If she doesn't, she's sort of a bitch for not. I don't know. But we have. We have. You know, we're gonna be in each other's lives for a long time and it's just. It's a lie. And I just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me one of these days. I. I don't know. I'm a work in progress, guys. Work in progress.

[Kristen Doute]

I love that Jax's final line on Bravo is begging for forgiveness. As usual. As fucking usual. Well, is tonight a good start? Brittany, she's like. I don't know, it's hard because it's going to take a lot of him to prove me that he's actually changing. You know what? I'm sorry, but I need to feel pretty. Okay? I need to feel wanting. I need to feel like I'm good looking lady. Okay, maybe date night. Maybe date night.

[Andy Cohen]

All right, well, it is tradition to end with a toast, but with two new babies on the way, Tequila shots didn't feel like the right move, so we were doing vodka shots instead. Okay, everyone. What was that? Oh, mocktails. All right, that's lame. In baby bottles. Just to torture Lala. Okay, who in the group is the Toast giver. And so Jason goes. Actually, it's Brittany. Oh, that really backfired on me. Okay, Brittany, you have the floor.

[Kristen Doute]

All right, Britney, bring us out with a toast. Do not eat toast. Put the toast down. Put the toast back in your purse. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. I just won't say anybody. I'll love you so much. I love you so much, everybody. I love. You're all good people. I love you so much, you know, because we're all good friends. This is hard. It's hard what we do, but, you know, we do it and we're people and people are people. You know what? Drake night.

[Andy Cohen]

You know what? There are good ships and there are wood ships and there are ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are like, the ships where you can, like, go on, like, a caboose cruise around an island and have all your friends. Right?

[Kristen Doute]

Okay. Well, may this upcoming year be the best days of our lives. Cheers, everybody. I hate all of you. Please recast this show. God, you are insufferable idiots. Andy looks like he hates these people.

[Andy Cohen]

He went. He was miserable. Miserable. Well, I appreciate his sacrifices. I appreciate everyone's sacrifice. And thank you, everyone, for being here for the Valley. And I'm excited for what else is coming down the pike on Bravo's schedule. Like you mentioned before, it's a little thin right now. Like Jax's hair. Like my hair. Sadly, I can't really punch down like that. But what I will say is that clearly Bravo is going to have probably scheduled turnover very soon. They usually start new stuff in September. Can't wait to see what that's going to be. But in the meantime, stay tuned for our recaps of Miami and OC later this week. And thanks everyone for being here. Have a good one.

[Kristen Doute]

Bye. Bye.

[Andy Cohen]

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[Kristen Doute]

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[Andy Cohen]

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[Kristen Doute]

Admit it's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud neat. It's Ronit Feldman she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon.

[Andy Cohen]

Out of a can and Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plain it's always.

[Kristen Doute]

A good time when you're working Wasting time with Bravo she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.