#2970 RHOC S19E06 Part 1: New OLA, Old Tricks

Summary

Below is a detailed, section‐by‐section summary of the episode “#2970 RHOC S19E06 Part 1: New OLA, Old Tricks” of Watch What Crappens, hosted by Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam. The episode mixes humorous commentary on weight loss treatments and luxury cruising with a sprawling, in‐depth recap of Real Housewives drama, personal stories, and offbeat pop culture references. The hosts weave between sponsored ad segments and their signature banter as they dissect last night’s episodes—with plenty of flashbacks, witty insults, and memorable asides.

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Overview of the Episode
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• The episode opens with commentary on “weight loss medications” and introduces Hers—a service offering affordable weight loss treatment plans for women.
• Soon after, the hosts transition to a series of humorous advertisements for Virgin Voyages and Hellmann’s flavored mayo, setting a playful tone.
• The core of the episode is a deep dive into the latest Real Housewives drama—with a sprawling recap of chaotic, candid moments, personal anecdotes, and ongoing beef between cast members.
• Throughout the lengthy discussion, flashbacks and side stories pepper the dialogue: from bizarre package deliveries and personal encounters, to memories of previous episodes and memorable insults that bring both nostalgia and laughter.
• The episode also includes cheeky sponsor messages and final shout-outs to premium supporters, adding the signature Watch What Crappens style.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments
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1. Advertisements & Sponsored Segments
   • [00:00–00:55] Hers Weight Loss Ad
   – Host A jokes about the ubiquity and high price of weight loss medications before highlighting Hers as a more affordable, medically supervised alternative.
   • [01:17–02:11] Virgin Voyages Ad
   – Both hosts praise the all‐inclusive adult getaways offered by Virgin Voyages and note the cruise line’s kid‐free policy, contrasting it humorously with “the cast of the Valley.”
   • [03:06–03:13] Hellmann’s Flavored Mayo Ad
   – A satirical message challenges the “mayo haters,” promoting Hellmann’s bold flavors as transformative for even the staunchest critics.

2. Introduction & Banter
   • [03:17–04:38] Ronnie and Ben welcome listeners to a new installment of “Watch What Crappens” and remind fans about bonus video content on Patreon and upcoming live segments including “Crappy Hour” and Amazon Lives.
   • The conversation quickly moves into personal anecdotes, with lighthearted chatter about hot delivery people and misplaced cheesecake deliveries—a humorous aside that highlights the hosts’ playful, irreverent tone.

3. Recap of RHOC S19E06 & Personal Flashbacks
   • [04:56–09:11]
   – Ronnie and Ben discuss binge-watching two Housewives shows the previous night, recalling standout moments and even a dream encounter that echoed a memorable cast moment.
   – They detail a character who “came in authoritatively” (in a recap of Gina’s moment) and segue into how personal and collective grievances have evolved over time.
   – Notable conflict arises around flashbacks involving Gina, Shannon, Tamara, and even comments on past attempts to “say off” some of the cast members.

4. Real Housewives Drama & On-Air Confrontations
   • [09:52–13:04]
   – The conversation intensifies as the hosts recount heated exchanges among the Real Housewives: fights, accusations of alcoholism, and accusations about recording incidents.
   – Memorable flashbacks include discussions about past “fatty photos,” arguments about loyalty, and recounting a wild night on Bourbon Street—a night described in almost biblical terms of chaos and debauchery.

5. Tangents, Flashbacks, and Insults
   • [13:31–18:18]
   – The hosts relay a series of flashbacks from a wild New Orleans night including references to Bourbon Street, mechanical bulls (dubbed “bullcock” moments), and bizarre encounters with eccentric tour-goers.
   – Personal stories of misplaced cheesecake, neighborly interactions, and hot package deliveries blend with criticism of cast (e.g., mocking references to Gina, Tamara, and others).
   – Memorable moments include a discussion about “fatty photos,” heated debates on past transgressions (like calling someone an alcoholic repeatedly), and how even the “villains” sometimes seem justified.

6. Therapy, Voodoo, and Sponsor Spots
   • [20:20–22:26]
   – Midway through the episode, the hosts shift briefly to discuss mental health and therapy—with a spotlight sponsor (Rula) that offers affordable therapy with insurance partners.
   – Later, as the conversation shifts back to RHOC drama, a humorous exchange about voodoo dolls emerges, with the hosts recalling gifts (like a Tamara voodoo doll complete with pins) and poking fun at casting members for their ongoing ridiculous behavior.

7. Group Dynamics & Departure of Cast Members
   • [29:45–32:34]
   – The recap features arguments about which cast members belong together. A recurring theme is the tension between Katie and Tamara, with mentions of group splits at places like Cafe Dumont, beignet-buying spats, and overall group dynamics that pivot unexpectedly.
   – There’s criticism about decisions—such as inviting Katie over—which is seen as a betrayal by some, ultimately fueling more on-air insults.

8. Voodoo & Final Recollections
   • [53:41–64:52]
   – In a particularly sprawling section, the conversation travels through a voodoo-themed segment featuring the “voodoo queen” (Bloody Mary) and playful exchanges about dolls inflicting mischief.
   – As flashbacks intertwine with present-day shots, the hosts recall controversial comments, past altercations (including heated references to “roofie” allegations and blogger gossip), and even allusions to legal acts such as DUIs.
   – The dialogue is peppered with rapid-fire pop culture references (e.g., Indiana Jones, The Brady Bunch) and playful challenges that demonstrate the long-running rapport and inside jokes of the hosts.

9. Closing Credits & Sponsor Shout-Outs
   • [67:24–71:04]
   – The episode concludes with an outro listing the names of premium sponsors in rapid succession in an energetic “roll call” style that is characteristic of the show’s irreverent humor.
   – A final reminder encourages listeners to join Wondery Plus to listen ad-free and complete a listener survey, wrapping up the episode’s mix of recaps, rants, and sponsor plugs.

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes
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• “[00:00] A: Weight loss medications are everywhere right now… But let's be real. Have you seen the price tag?”
– A humorous take on the current craze of weight loss drugs which segues into the Hers advertisement.

• “[03:06] A: You know that person in your life who just can't stand mayo?... It's time to eat your words.”
– A funny promo for Hellmann’s flavored Mayo that sets the tone for the episode’s trademark banter.

• “[06:23] B: I thought a hot person showed up at my door with cheesecake. Now it's just the neighbor's son…”
– Ronnie’s offbeat anecdote that leads into broader discussions on expectations versus reality.

• “[09:05] B: You have to give credit where credit is due.”
– A reflective moment regarding Gina’s behavior that blends sarcasm with grudging admiration.

• “[22:42] A: Change God's like, if I wanted to have you have a change of heart about Tamara, I would have done it many years ago…”
– A tongue-in-cheek exchange about forgiveness and reconciliation in the reality TV world that perfectly encapsulates the episode’s mix of earnestness and mockery.

• “[67:27] B: Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. See you over there, suckers.”
– An irreverent sign-off from Ben that underscores the playful yet provocative energy of the discussion.

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Timestamps for Important Segments
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• 00:00 – 00:55: Hers weight loss medication ad opening the episode
• 01:17 – 02:11: Virgin Voyages advertisement segment
• 03:06 – 03:13: Hellmann’s flavored Mayo advertisement
• 03:17 – 04:38: Episode introduction and Patreon/live show reminders
• 04:56 – 09:11: Initial recaps, personal anecdotes, and flashbacks from last night’s Housewives episodes
• 09:52 – 13:04: In-depth discussion of drama among cast members and the memorable “fatty photo” incidents
• 13:31 – 18:18: Wild recounting of Bourbon Street events and subsequent interpersonal conflicts
• 20:20 – 22:26: Therapy sponsor spot (Rula) and early voodoo-themed banter
• 29:45 – 32:34: Group dynamics and conflict around group split and the unexpected pivot regarding Katie vs. Tamara
• 53:41 – 64:52: Extensive voodoo segment, flashbacks, heated legal and personal accusations
• 67:24 – 71:04: Sponsor roll call and final outro, including instructions for ad-free listening on Wondery Plus

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Conclusion
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In this sprawling, freewheeling episode of Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam expertly blend caustic commentary, unfiltered personal anecdotes, and imaginative recaps of RHOC S19E06. Spanning from raucous ad reads to meandering flashbacks and heated debates about loyalty, substance misuse, and voodoo dolls, the episode captures the quintessential Bravo recapping experience: raw, raucous, and irreverently humorous. Fans of Bravo and the podcast alike will appreciate the fearless banter and the way the hosts invite listeners to relive, dissect, and laugh at every outrageous moment.

Enjoy the recap if you haven’t listened yet—and if you have, maybe re-listen to catch all the in-jokes that make Watch What Crappens uniquely entertaining!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Weight loss by hers is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not approved or reviewed for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased. You already know we love Virgin Voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's Runway walk.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences. That makes me so happy.

[B]

Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages.

[A]

Learn [e-mail] or contact your travel advisor.

[C]

You know that person in your life who just can't stand mayo? Call them traumatized. Call them close minded. We get it. They're stuck in their ways. But here's the thing. They just haven't tried Hellman's flavored Mayo. We're talking bold flavors that will flip even the biggest skeptics. Spicy mayo that adds the perfect kick to your burger. Garlic aioli that transforms ordinary fries into something extraordinary. Chipotle mayo that turns your basic rap into a smoky sensation. So to all the mayo haters out there, yes, we're looking at you. It's time to eat your words. Because with mayo this flavorful, any hater is just a mayo lover waiting to be convinced. Hellmann's flavored Mayo. Get ready to eat your words.

[B]

What.

[A]

Happens when there's so much that happens?

[B]

Well, hello everybody and welcome to Watch what clappings. I'm Ronnie and that is little Banuni Tunes Mandelgar over there. Hi, Ben, how are you?

[A]

I'm great, thanks. How are you doing?

[B]

Good, hun. Welcome to your life.

[A]

Thank you so much, everybody.

[B]

We are on Crappin's On Demand today as we are every day these days. So if you want things on video, you can find that over at Patreon. If you want our bonus episodes, this week's episode is going to be a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trailer Trash, which is where we trash a trailer for 10 hours at a time. So that's going to be really fun. So join us over at Patreon. Also Mondays we do things now. So some Mondays, every two Mondays we do Crappy Hour, which is our live show, talking to you guys about Bravo news. And then every other week we do Amazon lives at 4pm Pacific. Over at Amazon Live, you can find. That's going to be this coming Monday, by the way, the 18th. You can find info in our Instagram page and we post links there every week. So just check our Instagram. Watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie Karam. That's Ben Mattelker on Instagram. Okay, give us a follow. So there's that. And then what's the other thing? I think that's it for now, right?

[A]

I. Sure, sure. I don't remember. You know what? Like I don't remember. We watched two Housewives shows last night and they were both amazing. So it's just, it's. I'm just astounded that I have any functionality left because I feel like I was flattened by them because they were so fun.

[B]

They were so good. They were both so good. And the SLC trailer. Okay, but before we start, I have some personal stuff I need to talk about. So I am in Los Angeles right now. This is my front door in Texas. Okay. This is my Texas. Got it. Some guy showed up today, rang the doorbell. So of course I got the thing. Can I tell you, this guy is adorable? I didn't get his face. That's probably good. You're not supposed to show random people's faces, right? Okay, so we don't get his face. Trust me, he's hot. I was like, what is this person doing at my door? I'm assuming selling something because he's wearing, like, a shirt with brands on it. But then he, like, pick something up at the door and walked off. And I was like, what did he pick up? Like, did I have a package? Is he stealing a package? So now I'm showing you. It's a bowl on a plate on a tray. Do you see this? It's a bowl on a plate on a tray, and it looks like cheesecake. Is it cheesecake? But now that I look at it, I can't believe I'm calling it. It's food. It's food. And I'm looking and. But now I'm saying he's hot. But now that I'm looking, I'm wondering if it's the neighbor's son who's now a teenager, and I'm calling somebody hot. I'm so sorry if I sound like a pedo. I'm not a pedo. But now that I've made it this big, I'm like, maybe that's the neighbor's son.

[A]

Maybe the neighbor dropped off cheesecake for you to be like, hey, Ronnie, we made cheesecake. Do you want to have a piece? And then you never answered the doors. They went and retrieved it.

[B]

Oh, well, that makes this all much less exciting. I thought a hot person showed up at my door with cheesecake. Now it's just the neighbor's son making me taste his dad's. Get the fuck off my doorstep. I'm on GLP1s. What are you thinking? What kind of neighbor are you? Send over a hot person and a thong with that. How dare you? I'm going to have those. I'm calling the HOA.

[A]

H o a t o g O.

[B]

Well, I'm actually really glad I brought this up with you, because I was gonna spend the whole day like, oh, my God, someone's in love with me. Some hottie just showed up with cheesecake. Fucking neighbors.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's always very exciting when there's, like, a hot delivery person. There once was, like, a postmate who was so hot, I, like, took a picture. I was like, dom, look at this person who came and delivered a burrito today. And I have it somewhere. I have the screenshot somewhere. I wish I. I don't know. Maybe it's in the ring archive somewhere. Because he was, like, hot, and he knew. He was, like, in a tank top, and he, like, smiled at the ring cam. I was like, you know what you're doing?

[B]

Yeah, he's like, hey, possibly the house of Steven Spielberg. I'm available for acting.

[A]

That's right, like Steven Spielberg who now lives in a townhouse. So anyway, the point is, whatever it was that you were supposed to add to the intro, I don't remember what it was. I just received my coffee from Starbucks because my French press broke this morning and by it broke, I dropped it. So I'm like, I'm ramping up with the coffee right now. I have to say, this episode of Orange county was so good. It was so good, even Gina had a good moment. Was it just last week where I was ranting about how every single season I say, I'm like, I'm like, oh, can we just get rid of Gina? And then she does something good. And I say, you know what? She's earned her keep. I'm refusing to do that this time. I. But good God, she was really good last night. I was.

[B]

I don't know if she's earned her keep because it's years and years and.

[A]

She has not earned her keep, but she keep.

[B]

She's earned. She's earned my respect for at least an episode because, yeah, last week on Crappy Hour, I think we both went completely off on Gina and Emily. And now, you know, look at. Look at Gina. I was very impressed.

[A]

Look at Gina.

[B]

You know, you have to give credit where credit is due. Does she make me crazy? Sure. Will I say it every day still? Sure. But give credit where it's due. She is due credit. Very nicely done, Gina. I'm proud of you. Keep that energy. Keep the. She really.

[A]

She really. It was like a different to the.

[B]

Weave and keep the energy. You know what I mean?

[A]

She. She. I feel like we've never really seen the side of her where she basically was like. She came in authoritatively and was like, you are not allowed to do this at my table. Which may explain because last night I definitely had a dream where I was at a party and there a terrible gay there. And he was being so mean to me, but I was like, I don't care about this gay. I'm just gonna. And I was sitting at a table with a bunch of people and they're like, you just have to get to know him. And I told him off in front of the entire table. I forgot what I said. It was such a good. It was also such a good tell off. I was like, I became Gina in my dream. And I was like, you know what? Go fuck yourself. I mean, it was more than that. Cause that's very basic, but it Was so good. And I wonder, did Gina incept me? Should I be alarmed?

[B]

I'm over here. Like, what is the terrible gay me?

[A]

The dream?

[B]

No, no, because I dressed like I got told off by somebody at a dinner party, so I think I might have interest.

[A]

No, this is like.

[B]

Like, Ben just. You'll get used to him. You'll get used to him. I do a podcast with him every day for 13 years. I'm used to him.

[A]

I know. This guy was like. It was like a floppy gay with, like, a scarf and was just, like, giving me evil eyes. Was just being so mean to me. And then I was like, you think that you. I can't even do it in real life.

[B]

I don't even remember a floppy gay with a sc. It was terrible.

[A]

And I told him off.

[D]

I was like, this is my table. You came in here with your water. I closed, and you're sloshed.

[B]

You are being rude.

[E]

You're being ruled right now, Tamara.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

And we. I also have to say, okay, listen, we talked about it. Gretchen Rossi. Bad tweets, bad social media. I am compartmentalizing. I'm telling you this. All right, now. I'm compartmentalizing. You can come at me however you want. Gretchen was fucking great this episode.

[B]

She was too.

[A]

Come at me. I don't care. Because guess what? Gretchen is the one whose tweets we found. We all know a half, three quarters. The Real Housewives are not aligned. I will say they're not aligned with me politically, okay? And I cannot go on a witch hunt every single time. Okay? I've just accepted it, and I'm moving on. Gretchen was fucking great this episode, and she had a moment, which we're going to get to, and you know the moment that it is, that when she said that one thing I was watching, I literally went like this.

[B]

Yeah, well, listen, I've. I've always said, gretchen, if you come for Tamra as hard as you come for trans and gay rights, you're going to do well, you know? And she did. She did.

[A]

She did.

[B]

Also, there's a difference between disagreeing with someone politically and being pissed that someone is liking the hateful that she's liking. So, you know, I can disagree with people politically, but that's like. That's a little different. You know, I was just being.

[A]

I was saying it politely to be like, you know, these people, so many of them have liked and supported causes that. That are in cross purposes to, like, the rights that I support that people I believe should have. So I'm. I'M accepting that. But I'm also like. Like, though I'm still embracing my entertainment, I'm embracing my stories and, well, you.

[B]

Listen, even people we don't like to do well. And I think it's important to be able to, when we do this show, to be able to say even our favorites are wrong sometimes and even our villains are right sometimes. And this time, our villains were right. I mean, I was like, yes, Matt, go. You go, girls. So let's go, Matt, go, girl.

[A]

You Matt, go, girl.

[B]

So here we go. We start at dinner at the end of Dinner in New Orleans, the dinner where Heather got coffee bukkied by Joe the Wa Ghost. That was such a fun dinner, wasn't it, ladies? That was very, very fun. I was like, oh, so fun. Yeah. Shannon's like, is this bourbon? Listen, can I drink this street?

[E]

Can I drink the street?

[A]

She's just up against the wall, just trying to drink the wall. So they're walking down Bourbon street, which, you know, Heather hates. Because the truth is, I think anyone over a certain age, maybe I'm gonna say 24, hates Bourbon Street. And especially if you are, like, a fancy, schmancy person like Heather Dubrow, you are not into Bourbon Street.

[B]

No.

[A]

She's doing her, like, poor person fun down for everything. I held pizza on the street once in New York Persona. She's like, oh, look at this. It's a hurricane. It's a beverage in a tall glass. This is hilarious. And you get to keep the glass as a souvenir. And when you go, you can beat your maid with it. Fun, Fun.

[B]

I was traumatized on Bourbon street when we were in New Orleans. We were there at, like, three in the morning.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

People were so wasted, including us, when we'd been walking around and parading all day. And we were with a group of friends, and we went to this place. It was packed full of people. I mean, it really was biblical. Like, it was just like, biblical Sodom and Gomorrah. I mean, I don't know. It was crazy. It was like demons with drunk, you know, crazy demons everywhere is what was seeing. And this one guy was standing. He was, like, obviously cracked out of his mind, kind of dancing. And he was like, I miss my mom. Like, he came right up to me when I miss my mom. And just drunkenly, I was like, caller, you know, and he, like, came for me with his eyes satanic, like, raging at me. He was like, sounds like a demon from hell. And I barely got away. I was traumatized. I mean, and then they tried not to seat our party, and then I let them have it. I pulled the Gina. I was like, you will not be.

[E]

Rude to my body.

[B]

And then they sat us, and everyone was like, jesus, you were so nice. 15 minutes ago. I was like. The crazy part did something to me.

[A]

That. That. That guy who, like, went demonic on you, he was actually on the news a few months ago. He was like, I just saw Heather Dubrow on Bourbon street, and I am trauma.

[B]

Heather actually scared everybody. Scary off Bourbon Street. It's safe now, guys. It's totally safe for Ronnie.

[A]

Yeah, no, we went to that. We went to that restaurant. I remember there was. There was someone at her table who made a scene. Do you remember that?

[D]

Me?

[A]

There was a. No, it was a girl. They did not have a certain. Like. They didn't have, like, a shrimp. A shrimp. And she was so mean to the waiter.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And there were drunk people. Yes, it was something like that. And there were drunk people everywhere. It was chaotic. It was so wild.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It wasn't your friend. It wasn't your friend, by the way. It was someone else entirely.

[B]

Oh, no, that friend is Robin. Is that girl. And she's so chill. She would never.

[A]

She was great. I loved her.

[B]

She was.

[A]

It wasn't her. There was just some other person at our table. I don't know how she was.

[B]

How that we ended up with all these people because it was a parade day, and Robin knows. She lives there, so she knows all these people. She was taking us, like, from house to house member. We're going, like, house party along the parade route. So we got to go in all these cool New Orleans places, looking over the parade route. We met all these crazy New Orleans.

[A]

Oh, my God. It was such an amazing night.

[B]

Yeah, it was. And so we ended up with this big, ragtag group at the end. We had no idea who anybody was.

[A]

It was wandering the streets. We were basically, like, doing Heather to bro before Heather to Bro was doing Heather to Bro.

[B]

So.

[A]

So Heather is, like, just pretending like she's not absolutely repulsed by everything going on on the streets. And it's just, like, total chaos everywhere. And then, like, some people wind up on a balcony. So we have Emily, Gina, and Tamara and. And Katie are on a balcony. And this is, like, one of these things where we're seeing them do having activities. But this is also a Previously on the Real Housewives thing. So there's, like, lots of flashbacks interspersed with. With their chatter.

[B]

Yes. So Gina's like, so how are you feeling about Shannon?

[E]

Because I feel like it's good. It's good.

[B]

And Tamara's like, well. And then we see flashbacks of, you know, all this stuff, like, how could.

[E]

She throw away our friendship?

[B]

And Shannon being like, just because I.

[E]

Hugged Tamara doesn't negate all of the.

[B]

Attacks and all this good stuff. And then we see the attacks, like Tamara calling Shannon an alcoholic and a drunk and a stupid person. And then we go back to the present, and Emily's like, they're not good. They're just coexisting.

[A]

And Katie's saying how, like, oh, well, Shannon just hates me now, so it's taking it off of you, Tamra.

[D]

She's like, yeah, she does hate you.

[A]

And then we see a flashback to the party where Shannon goes, how dare you record me?

[D]

That girl is worse than Alexis Bellino. She is worse than the Earl the Pearl, and he hasn't even vegetables. Worse than Tamara Judge. Well, we are done. We are done.

[E]

Well, one thing I know about Shannon, she gets upset about tempting is she holds on to it forever. Forever, forever.

[A]

That's also because you tend to get in her ear and restoke the fires of her rage every single time.

[B]

I love that. Tamara's like, oh, my God, she got mad about one little thing and she's still mad. You chased her around calling her a stupid drunk all season. You never let up all season. She's like, what?

[E]

What?

[A]

Tamara, who, like, ridiculed Shannon to her face and called her an alcoholic a million times, is now like, ugh, whatever. And then meanwhile, it's like, Katie, you, like, had an interaction with a blogger, which, by the way, I found out about by interacting with other bloggers. How dare you? Like, that's the thing that actually bothers her the most.

[E]

Yeah, I just heard from some sources who type a lot on the Internet.

[B]

Yeah, your sources are totally bloggers, for sure. So, yeah, Emily's like, well, I don't like her dictating Chen's relationship with you, that's for sure, because Katie shouldn't have any say in that.

[E]

Tamara's like, yeah, I don't like that.

[B]

Now she's not dictating Jen's relationship with anybody. Jen hates Tamara because Tamara is horrible to Jen and always has been and is currently passing around fatty photos.

[E]

Fatty photos? Fatty photos so fat Walgreens couldn't even print them. They needed to get a bigger printer.

[B]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[A]

Sometimes work is so intense. There's so much for us to do. There's so much for us to recap that. I actually get very stressed out and thankfully I have therapy to turn to and I think it's really, really important. I call it a mind massage. I love therapy. It helps me out so much.

[B]

Finding a therapist is hard enough, but finding one who actually takes your insurance, that's where most online therapy platforms fall short. Many don't work with insurance at all, which means you're stuck paying the full cost out of pocket or paying for an expensive monthly subscription.

[A]

Rula does things differently. They partner with over 100 insurance plans, making the average copay just $15 per session. That's real therapy from licensed professionals at a price that actually makes sense.

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[B]

Mr. Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all. But who was your muse?

[E]

My dear old nan.

[D]

She would tell me, always remember to be trusted to yourself and to use that fast and friendly claim support on the Geico app.

[B]

I follow her advice to this day. Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico.

[A]

And then we see a flashback of Shannon Jen saying, well, Shannon told me.

[D]

You better not roll on me. And I said, well, I mean, why would I ever do that? I can just walk over you instead. And she said, no, I mean, that's a metaphor. And I said, I'm not following.

[A]

So then we go back to present and Gina's like, you know what, with.

[D]

Gretchen at least, like, she seems like, reasonable and like she wants to like, move forward with you, Tamra.

[A]

And we see like a flashback of Gretchen saying that she's been praying about it and she's been asking God to change her heart on the subject. And God said, new number. Who does?

[B]

Yeah, if you were really praying and God was really listening right now, God would say, why are you wearing a bow in your head? You're 50. Take the bow out of your head. Okay, Baby Jane, take it out of your head. You look like a baby trying to be Jackie Onassis and Baby Jane at the same time. Stop it.

[A]

Change God's like, if I wanted to have you have a change of heart about Tamara, I would have done it many years ago. I made you come back on this show for a reason. Like, God's like, I got something to do on Thursdays at 8 o', clock, so get to it.

[B]

God does not do that to go on Real Housewives. He just doesn't.

[A]

I'm sorry, did you say. Did you say God does not need people to go on Real Housewives?

[B]

He does not lead people. God's not like, you know, here's how you're gonna fulfill my plan. Go onto television with Bose. That'll stop everything bad in the world, you know?

[A]

No, no, God does not. Although don't tell Whitney Rose that, because.

[D]

You know who'd made the Real Housewives? The Lord did.

[B]

I can't. So Gina's like, yeah, she's reasonable. And Greg. Yeah, Gretchen prayed. So then we see flashbacks between Tamara and Gretchen fighting. And Emily's like, well, you're working on yourself, Tamara. You're going to therapy. I mean, just prove for people that you can be different. That's all you really need. Oh, my God. Look what I've got in my purse. Oh, Ben. Yay. This is hilarious America.

[A]

So now we're in the hotel and Gina. There's a train going by. And Gina's like, hi. She's waving to the train, which, I don't know, I feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere. It's like, Gina just, like, waving at some inanimate object of barreling beyond her.

[E]

Guys, I heard about a puppy parade. It's basically something. Something we should get involved in because it's like a parade that's full of dogs that dorit had returned to a kill shelter.

[A]

Yeah, it's a puppy parade. And then we. There's someone in Robin on the phone or Barkus. The organization is called Barcus, which reminds me a lot of the Workus twins. It's like, imagine a workus parade.

[B]

But they're dogs.

[E]

Carl.

[B]

It's all the dogs. Carl.

[D]

Carl.

[A]

Carlton.

[D]

Carl.

[A]

So this lady's like, we're not just a puppy parade. We're one of the biggest dog parades on earth. I'm like, okay, Robin, you need to.

[B]

Okay, Rob.

[A]

Okay, relax, Robin. She needs a little bit of a hobby here.

[B]

We're not just a puppy parade. We're a lifestyle.

[A]

We are not only just a puppy parade, not even just a dog parade. We are the biggest parade in America. Okay, Robin, you just need to settle down here. Okay?

[B]

Robin's really into that puppy parade. And Emily's like, well, I have three dogs. I should be in a puppy parade. We want to do it. And Robin's like, we would love to have you welcome the biggest parade in the world with really no criteria to reach to be in the parade. Just call us on a random parade day and join us.

[A]

Yeah. So then Jan, Gina, and Gretchen, and Heather get on a trolley, and they're just loving it. And Heather's like, so where are we going? Also, does anyone know? Does this trolley have another level up, maybe with bar service? Just wanted to know. No. Okay.

[B]

Is there service on this trolley? Because mama could use a little drink.

[E]

We're gonna go to the French market, and then there's a dog parade.

[B]

And so Gina decided that today is the day that she wants to have some fun. Because, you know, every other day in vacation, you plan to be utter hell. And so she's.

[E]

She's strategically chosen to have my very mentally tough friend Emily and take one for the team and go with the troublemaker.

[D]

I'm gonna have, like, a little fun at lunch, and I'll see you again. Good luck.

[A]

So the troublemakers are Katie, Tamara, and Shannon, also known as the people that are the most entertaining on the show. I'd like to add. And then. Well, maybe not Katie.

[E]

I sent wall ratings to the other trolley.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So then they're in a car, and they're talking about, I guess, last night.

[D]

And Tamara's like, hey, Shannon, any breezes from falling off the cock?

[A]

And we see that last night they were riding a mechanical bull, and it was. The bull was called a. Which doesn't really make sense because cocks are roosters. But maybe it was a mechanical rooster that they. She fell off of. I don't know. But they're very excited to say cock a bunch of times.

[B]

I looked up bullcock, and it says bull penis walking canes. So I don't know. That's something you can buy. Guys, I tried bull's penis so you don't have to. Oh, actually that's on Real Housewives of Miami. I think they actually do that bull penis cane. So there's a cane that's shaped like a bull penis that you could buy. So that's something. So I'd like to thank Shannon for bringing that into my life. But, yeah, Shannon falls off, and then we see Katie alone in a car, which I feel like is going to be the rest of Katie season, talking to Matt on the phone, and she's like, so I just headed out, like, I mean, we're supposed to go to Cafe Dumont, and Shannon walked in, and she's like, I'm not going if she's going. And so we see this happen, and Shannon's like, I'm not comfortable right now, and I will not be around you, and I'm not going if Katie's going. I don't care if there are donuts, I'll go somewhere.

[E]

Wait, donuts. You're right. Okay, Katie, you're going somewhere else.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

You're not coming to the donut.

[D]

Okay. I would like to take a vote on whether or not Katie should come with us. If all in favor say Ben yay, and I'll again say Ben nay. Okay. Ben ye is when Katie, you're out.

[A]

So I love that, like, God forbid that Shannon, like, eats a small fried square of bread with powdered sugar in the presence of Katie.

[D]

She's like, I do not feel comfortable whatsoever because she may record me with powdered sugar all over my face, and that would be mortifying.

[A]

So Katie's like, whatever, I don't need to get this beignet here.

[B]

Yeah. She's like, I wasn't gonna eat that anyway, so. So you've got Shannon, who refuses to talk to Katie for recording her, but Shannon's totally fine with hanging out with Tamra, who told every blogger on Earth about Shannon being an alcoholic, and then got elect and then threatened pictures from Alexis's Bellino's phone against. I mean, I don't know Shannon. Shannon's priorities are a little odd, I have to say.

[A]

So Katie's basically telling Matt, like, whatever, I'm gonna go with the other group of girls. And she's like, katie even says basically what you just said. She goes, I mean, you've been around Alexis, who is suing you with her boyfriend for $75,000, and I can't eat a goddamn beignet with you. Give me a break. So then we go back to the trolley, and Jen's asking Gretchen, everyone how they felt about last night. And Gina's like, like, you know, it.

[D]

Was so good to have a night where it was, like, fun. But, like, you know, like, I spent a lot of time hearing your frustrations, Jen, like, and now your frustrations and everything, Gretchen. And, like, are we ever gonna address any of those things, you know?

[B]

Yeah, because Gina is gonna make sure. While she's saying she wants to have the fun bus for the day, she's also like, but you're still gonna fight with Tamara later, right?

[A]

Okay, we've all got that.

[B]

We're that's still on the agenda, right? And Heather says, well, you know, Tamara said. You know, were you not in the room when she said she really wanted to talk to you? I mean, Tamara is trying. Tamara is a good person. Now, I know Tamara's been terrible. I know. But underneath it all, she's a good, good toaster. And then we see a flashback to Emily saying, they need to have a sit down, and Tamara saying, okay, that's.

[A]

That's all it is.

[B]

Yeah. For Tamra.

[A]

Tamara can't wait to make up with you. Everything is water under the bridge. Twelve years ago, she said, I cannot wait to make up with Gretchen. And then the flashback. Do you want to meet up with Gretchen?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, understated.

[B]

You have to be friends with her now because she's in a very emotional state because of Totty. Okay.

[D]

Who's that? Doddy.

[B]

Her little friend that she does the radiocast thing with on the YouTube.

[D]

You mean Teddy? Teddy Mellencamp?

[B]

I don't know who you're talking about. She's a lady. I think she hurt her ankle or something. Tam was very upset about it. Something about trying to go up some stairs. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know who this woman is, but I did get her address, and I sent her a bowl, and I said, here, you can send this to Nobu and see what it feels like to be a wealthy person. Enjoy.

[B]

I don't know who she is. Sounds poor. Can Tamara catch a break, guys? So Gina's like, wow.

[E]

I mean, it seems like a good opportunity to make some progress.

[B]

So Gretchen's, like, I'm sure, came to.

[E]

Me optimistic about a possible reconciliation with Tamara. But the. The Bible is very clear because there's a commandment to forgive. So basically, this is a biblical moment I'm gonna have with Tamara.

[B]

Oh, God, you are so phony with your fucking Bible every two seconds. Give me a break. You married Slade, first of all, who was terrible? And speaking of people being right, you know, terrible people being right. Tamara wasn't really, completely wrong about you. You and Slade. So I don't want to really hear about all of that. When you have that history with Slade and his son, ma', am, keep it to yourself.

[A]

So the trolley arrives at the French market, and Heather's like, ooh, should we get a drink? Look, there's maids everywhere to bring us something. It's like, those are people shopping at the market. I'm not sure I understand people voluntarily go and just shop for the groceries for their employees. Employers I was hoping that this is.

[B]

Where I could purchase some French people. They're very, very good at setting out cutlery.

[A]

So Gina gets. Wants to get a strawberry smoothie, and Heather's like, ooh, with no booze. So a virgin strawberry smoothie and also two almond breezes. Garcon. We are some wacky ladies, are we not? I love being young, hip, and very carefree.

[E]

Yeah, I feel like it would be sacrilegious. Not. He'd have been gay anymore, though.

[B]

So they order some beignets, and then Gina is. Gina says, I could not be happier that Tamara's not here to catch me.

[E]

In my petty photo. I'll just take all the beignets you got back there.

[B]

So then we go to Tamara, and she's walking with Shannon and Emily, and.

[E]

Tamara's like, whoa, right there. Right there. That's what Teddy and I sat right that table.

[A]

No, this is, like, four weeks ago.

[D]

So she's like, oh, my God. Last time I was at Cafe Dumont, it was probably four weeks ago. I was here with Bronwyn and Teddy.

[A]

Which I did not realize about the Bron. That Bronwyn was also in the mix in. In these trauma flashbacks.

[B]

She's like, which Bronwyn was.

[A]

Was. I think it was Bronwyn. Bronwyn Burke or Bronwyn Windham or whatever Bronwyn's name is these days. I think it was her. Look at Bronwyn. Never forget. She was always an ardent Tamara defender. We saw it with our eyes. So Tamara's saying that they. Right there, they were eating beignets. And then after that, that's when Teddy found out about her cancer. So it's a bittersweet feeling for her because it's like the last sort of moment of innocence, I guess you could say. So Tamara orders some beignets, and, you know, she's. Then they go off and they eat that she.

[D]

And.

[A]

Well, now she, Emily, and. And Shannon go off to either beignets on, like, a bench. So that means that Emily gets to be wacky. She's like, oh, my God, I've got sugar all over me. Isn't this crazy? And she's, like, shaking and like, oh, sugar. I'm really dumb.

[B]

So wait, they all just went to Cafe Dumont? Why'd they all have to go separate?

[A]

No, the French market people went and got beignets at the French market.

[B]

Oh, come on. Keep your food separate. Like, if you're gonna go to separate places, get separate things. Because it confuses me in my head.

[A]

Yeah, because it's like, a lot of beignets.

[B]

Just a lot of.

[D]

A lot of beignets. I feel bad because we could have all gone as a group, and we don't feel bad.

[B]

Look at me now. I'm covered in shadow.

[E]

Sugar.

[B]

She shakes and, like, pig pen. Just, like, dusts of sugar come off of her. And Tamara's just looking at her like, disgusting.

[E]

It's snowing over here.

[B]

So then with Shannon, say it again.

[A]

Say, it's like Jax's bedroom.

[B]

Yeah, it's like Ali Sheedy shaking off her head in Breakfast Club. And all the dander falls off. It's the snow in the picture. So Shannon's like, I mean, what am.

[E]

I gonna do with Katie? What am I gonna do?

[B]

And Emily says, you know, just being different. But she irritates me, and they all laugh at her. And then meanwhile, with the other girl. The other girls, Heather's like, do you think you and Torkus will get married, Gina? Who?

[E]

My. My boyfriend Travis.

[B]

Don't know him. Do you think you'll marry that poor hairy person that you're living with? And squalor.

[D]

I don't know. I mean, everyone keeps asking me that. I just, like, don't know.

[A]

I'm like, do people keep asking you that? Do they. Anyway, do you need to get married?

[D]

I might. I mean.

[A]

And Heather's like, is it important to the kids? Because if it's not important, would they be interested in, I don't know, a role in the Dubrow estate? I don't know, washing silverware or doorknobs? Do they have to be available for your wedding?

[B]

What about you? Jenna and Joan's like, I feel like, kind of like you. Like, I just. I don't know if I. If I would have to be married again. But I. I think it's more for the kids and for Ryan, just because he wants to jerk off to me in a wedding bikini. So something I might do.

[A]

Who's. Whose kids would this be for?

[D]

My kids.

[A]

You have children?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, when you say that, do you mean, like, doggy children or, like, houseplants?

[D]

No, I've got, like, six children.

[A]

I'm not sure I follow. You have children?

[B]

How did you afford that? That's crazy. So Jen is going through her thing, like, oh, my God, what if I get married and it doesn't work out? I'm. Oh, God.

[E]

Thank God.

[B]

I'm married to someone completely stable, like a boy who's next door to list. Next door to Jack Tripper, and seems certainly ready to settle down. What could Go wrong.

[A]

Yeah. So Gina. So then Katie shows up, and Gina's like, what?

[D]

Where did you come from?

[A]

She's like, damn it, I don't want Katie here. And Katie's like, well, I was supposed to go eat beignet at Cafe Dumont. And then Shannon said, I'm not going if she. She's going. And I feel safe around her. I don't feel safe around her. So I was like, well, I don't need to go. It's okay. You guys can go. And it's. By the way, Ronnie, reading this back, I was like, you know, it was sort of surprising to me because it felt like at. At the end of this episode, it felt like everyone turned against Tamara. And it was sort of surprising to me because it seemed like all season, everyone was very pro Katie. I'm sorry, anti Katie, and pro Tamara. And it's been frustrating. And I was surprised that there was this pivot. And I'm realizing, oh, here's why there was the pivot. Because Tamara, essentially, indirectly, like, did not stop. Or they're blaming Tamara for having Katie come over to ruin their side of the trip. Like, wait a second. We're not supposed to have Katie. This is Tamara's fault. Tamara could have shut this down, and.

[B]

She didn't down with Tamra. Well, they also made the mistake of, you know, Tamara made the mistake of sending Katie over to the. Letting Katie go over to the enemy side where she could, you know, cavort with them before dinner and, like, lay the groundwork of how terrible Tamara is, which no one really needs to lay that groundwork, because Tamara is terrible. But also, Tamara just showing up wasted, and Tamara getting caught yet again in some bullshit that everybody knows is just Tamara. Bullshit did not help her. You know, Tamara really got herself over in this.

[A]

She really. It was amazing. So Katie is there, and Heather goes. So they all just got up and left you by yourself. Are we allowed to do that?

[B]

We can do that.

[A]

I've spent three seasons, and I could have done this to Gina all this time.

[B]

Let's do it right now. Okay, everyone, let's try it.

[A]

When my authentic praline arrives, just have them send it to the hotel. I'm leaving right now.

[B]

But this is ridiculous. I mean, Shannon has the right to be pissed, but Shannon's coexisting in this trip with Tamara. Tamara, the worst person on the planet. So what is she thinking? And Shannon is telling us, oh, really? Really? There is no comparison between that one and this one. Come on.

[D]

I mean, Keita just coexists with Katie for the sake of the trip. I mean, that is.

[B]

No.

[A]

Nope, nope, nope.

[D]

That is not gonna happen, America.

[B]

So now it's time to shop. Let's go shopping. One group goes shopping, and Emily is still on the bench talking to the girls. And she talks about how she saw Jen the other day, and we went horseback riding. And she told me that you, Shannon, keep telling her, don't roll on me. Don't roll on me. Like, roll on Tamra. And Shannon's like, roll on me.

[D]

Roll up.

[B]

Hey, don't roll on me. Roll on me.

[E]

Roll.

[D]

I was. I was. I was merely quoting my favorite singer, Steve Winwood. Roll with it, baby. Right? Anyone? No?

[A]

So Shannon's like.

[B]

I was saying, don't take the roll from me. Do not take the last roll. That is my role.

[D]

I was merely saying, I have some Rolos and please don't take them. Okay? They're a lovely snack.

[E]

Wait a minute. Like, you're trying to get people to turn on me? Is that what she's saying?

[B]

And Shannon's like, well, I would never say something like that. Well, she meant, don't fuck me over and go make up with Tamara is what she meant.

[E]

Oh, wait, Shannon, she never said that.

[B]

And Shannon's like, oh, I.

[E]

Well, I've. I've talked to her about my relationship with you and what happened between us last year. I don't think I will ever forget. I will never, ever forget that thing that happened that time. I don't remember it right now, but.

[B]

It was horrible, and it was a lot for me.

[E]

I was at a very low point. I had just been assaulted by a house.

[B]

A house. How dare you?

[E]

How dare you?

[D]

I will never forget what you did to me, Tamara. Never. For the rest of the days that I'm alive. I will never forget, which is why I am 100% on your side today.

[A]

So I was at a very low.

[B]

Point, and two of you at one time called me a drunk.

[E]

There's only one of me, Shannon. Well, you were two that day.

[A]

It's like, well, I can.

[D]

I totally understand how you feel that way. And that's why I don't really drink that much anymore myself.

[A]

And Tamara says, yeah, here comes Tamara's storyline.

[D]

I've learned that alcohol is not really good for me. It's really. It's. Alcohol is very difficult when you're on the spectrum and having one drink, okay. But if I go past that, that's when it gets nasty and dirty. And I say things that I don't mean, and my Goal is to have conversations with people with no alcohol in me, bitch.

[E]

She goes, you won't see me wasted ever, Ever. You're never gonna see me wasted again. Everybody, that's it. Me, Tamara, Bonnie, sober kind of person in New Orleans, the best place to go, sober, suddenly.

[B]

And Shannon's like, well, you know, I.

[E]

Did have a good time last night getting fucked up with you. She's like, well, could you let it go, Shannon? We have a ten year friendship. A ten year friendship.

[B]

And we know what Tamara's doing. This is what Tamara does. Every time she's rallying the troops to come stick it to somebody, you know, she suddenly starts coming up to people like, why aren't we friends?

[E]

I just don't understand it. We've always been such good friends. Okay, now go set Katie on fire. Here's the match.

[D]

You know, I just, I, Tamara, I just, I, I, I just can't jump back. I, I can't, I cannot jump back in D. I can't do it.

[B]

But she does immediately, because Shannon's a wuss and she does it every damn year.

[A]

Like right at that moment, she jumps back in and she says, I don't.

[D]

Like fighting, but I'm not going to roll over either.

[A]

Or roll on it.

[D]

As Jen sees, I will not be.

[E]

Hurt by you again. Are you braiding my hair? Yes.

[D]

Such lovely hair.

[E]

I love you. I really do. I love you. I miss you so, so much.

[A]

I know. It's so obvious.

[D]

I'm hopeful that Tamara's apology is authentic and we're not screaming at each other. We're coexisting. And let's just, let's just, just sit with that. Also, when I was sitting with that, I accidentally sat on my Bengay. So does anyone have an extra one?

[A]

Just curious.

[B]

Commercials.

[E]

Here comes one right now.

[F]

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[B]

So the other girls are shopping around, and Katie's like, that's what we need. Look, there's Sage. And Heather's like a child holding Sage. All right, put the child in the back trunk of the Uber. You know what? They're easier to train when their brains are still stretchy.

[D]

Oh, my God, Sage.

[A]

Finally I can put my mate in this. What? Oh, you said Sage. I thought you said Cage. Never mind.

[E]

And Gina's like, oh, my God, it's a snow globe. I can get it for my daughter.

[B]

Who buys a snow globe on vacation? Like who? Especially with a Real Housewives suitcase packed full of shit. You can't just put snow globes full of water in suitcases. Are they even allowing that now? Like, why can't I bring toothpaste onto a goddamn plane? But you can carry around a snow globe full of what looks like drugs?

[A]

I feel like a snow globe is a double infraction. It's a triple infraction. It looks like drugs. There's, I'm sure, more than 2.5 ounces of liquid. And on top of that, you could crack that open and him. Sharp glass and a weapon. So down with snow globes on a plane.

[B]

So then we see a flashback of Gina telling Gretchen and Jen about Tamara, talking about a former fatty photo. So it's fatty photo time, guys. And Jen's like, oh, my God, this was driving me nuts in the trolley. I just felt like, you know, Heather's trying to stand up for Tamara, like, trying to diffuse this situation. And we see a flashback, and Jen's saying, well, if someone came up to me and called me a single white female. She didn't call you a single white female to me. Anyway, that movie starred Bridget Fonda, who was thin and gorgeous. Can we just take the gifts where they come?

[A]

And then we see a flash. Like, Heather's like, she never said to me that you're a single white female. And then we got a flashback within the flashback.

[D]

You know what I call her? I call her a single white female. She seems like a single white female to me.

[E]

Batch.

[B]

Well, whatever the picture is, I guarantee you that was a time in my life where I was home raising my family, and I was not focused on myself. I wasn't focused on what I wore. I wasn't focused on a gym. So she should probably take a playbook out of mine and take a note out of my playbook was what I meant. And fucking raise her family. This whole, like, dumbing it down to make it seem like it wasn't that bad is. And I can't actually wait to see this picture. I can see. Wait to see this picture. This fatty, fatty photo. Give me a fatty photo.

[E]

I will live it. I will be on the COVID of Good Housekeeping.

[B]

Fatty photo all you want. I'm not ashamed of anything. Show me as a size four.

[E]

I dare you, Tamra.

[D]

So what? So what? I was three pounds heavier at one.

[A]

Point in my life. Wearing a flouncy dress.

[D]

I don't care. Put me on walrus fancy. I'm proud of it.

[A]

Like, it's such. They keep showing the photo. First of all, I love how she is actually like it. This photo is plaguing her because I think she. Think there must be some. There's something. She is like. She's trying to act like she's owning it, but she's also, I think, embarrassed. And she. I think she has this in her imagination, some photo where she's like a balloon or something like that. And they keep showing the photo, and she looks completely normal, and it's just so funny. Oh, she's like, I can't. Like, she's bringing up to every. She's, like, obsessed now. Like, everywhere she goes, she's like, sir.

[D]

Have you seen my former fatty photo? Ma', am, have you seen my former fatty photo? I need to see this thing.

[A]

I need to find it.

[B]

Yeah, it's ridiculous. She's like, well, I hope she doesn't show the clip that she's been showing.

[E]

This is Leonardo DiCaprio when Jen was raising him terribly. Look at everything she put into you.

[B]

It's like, that's one. What's eating Gilbert Grape? Could we please not that into the conversation?

[A]

So now Tamara, Emily, and Shannon are in a car talking about going into a parade. The doggy parade. And the other car, the other women are riding along. And Heather's like, oh, my God, Gina, you are shedding all over me.

[D]

Oh, my God. Sorry, it's my coat.

[A]

No, your poorness. I feel it shedding on me, and I'm very uncomfortable.

[B]

I feel the chill of coupons next to me. Can somebody get me a sweater?

[A]

I'm starting to be able to smell things like Penny Savers. I need to get out of this car.

[B]

Oh, it means a lot to me to be part of the barkas parade, which brings awareness to adopting dogs. Dogs that don't eat french fries because they're terrified of them. I feel like having a dog around helps me feel normal. They're therapy. I can't imagine life without dog, which is why I've got a hot dog in my purse, everybody.

[A]

The dog feels. Emily's like, having a dog around me makes me feel normal. The dogs are like, get me out of this hell house.

[B]

So everybody talks about how they love dogs, and then we get to rescuing. And Shannon's like, well, I think that it's great that our group can go.

[E]

Out and support rescuing animals. Hype wouldn't.

[B]

Wouldn't do it. But people do, apparently.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Use dogs.

[D]

I mean, if we didn't have. If we didn't have rescues, if we didn't believe in rescues, Gina and Emily wouldn't be here.

[A]

So then we find out that Gina actually has two non rescues.

[D]

She's like, sorry. You know, I think that adopting animals is great. I do, and I fully support it. I just have, like, two very fancy doodle, and, like, what are you gonna do? I can't save everybody.

[A]

You've literally saved nobody. Actually. Just save something something and recycle it. Save something? Yeah.

[B]

And what's the point of, like, buying two dogs that are so expensive just to, like, sharpie on them, like, doodle on the side of their fur.

[A]

Why buy such expensive dogs just to put them in a stupid house? Put them in the bro's mansion? No. That argument had no logic. I thought I was going somewhere with it.

[E]

I did rescue a condo.

[D]

Well, I did buy some clearance items from Marshalls. Does that count as rescuing?

[E]

I rescued Archie from the four Seasons. So.

[D]

Speaking of which, would anyone mind if.

[A]

I added four seasonings to my beignet?

[D]

Right now?

[A]

I am just starving.

[B]

So.

[A]

I got my coffee, so. So now they're marching in this parade, which looks actually really fun. And Emily's like, hi, everybody. Thanks for coming out to support Parkus. All of us have rescue dogs except for Gina. Here's photos of mine. I just was, like, waiting for someone to throw an egg at her, like, boo, get off the stage. We want to watch the parade.

[B]

Yeah. And how did she just call to be part of this parade? But now she's, like, speaking for the whole parade, you know? And it's like, oh, look, everybody. Here's two of mine. Robin's like, and how important are they in your life? It's like, More important than my husband. Shane falls asleep on the couch. The majority of the time, Togo sleeps in the bed next to me. It's also a sandwich chain, and we spoon. I mean, my dogs are my soul mates.

[E]

Well, this was fun. And by fun, I mean why are.

[B]

We doing free things on the street?

[E]

Gina, is there anything else to do? And it's like, guys, I wanted to have a really fun day, so I found a restaurant that's gonna let us pass out flyers with discounts on them.

[D]

Guys, we're gonna go see the voodoo queen, Bloody Mary. Oh, well, about time we got a cocktail around here. No, that's her name. Bloody Mary.

[A]

So they go to this woman. Another Ronnie Caram classic.

[B]

Totally like, welcome, I am Bloody Mary. Welcome to my voodoo shop. May the spirits will come and say hello. And if you turn around, there's a voodoo bar. This lady is terrifying. Is Bruce Valanche playing this lady? Like, she's like, the mom from Hairspray.

[A]

It was like Bruce Vilange meets, like, Grace Under Fire. So whatever her name was again, I forgot, but she was. But she was, like, very animated. Like, she clearly has a shtick that she does where she tries to, like, scare people, but also be, like, funny and fun. So, okay, all right. We teach you how to feed the dolls, and we tell them what to do and where, who they are. But everything that you do to the doll, do it with intention. It could be the man or woman that you're trying to look into your life.

[D]

Like, Travis who.

[A]

Who is this Travis person that people keep talking about?

[B]

You dress them. We bless them. Well, I feel like Shannon's exhausted all other options of getting a man, so why not try voodoo? Oh, please. You met your ma', am, your man, on G Chat.

[A]

I know the least. The least romantic of all the messaging services.

[B]

You weren't even dating your man, and your man was like, well, we're both single. I guess we get married. And you said, okay, like, that's. You have the least romantic story out of anybody on Housewives. Please save it. At least Shannon's out there trying.

[A]

Yeah, so Mary's, like, never wanted. Voodoo was not to harm each other. Okay, but try to get what you.

[B]

Want out of it.

[D]

Sam's not evil.

[A]

Humans are evil. I'm in a bigger area. Okay, everyone go in the courtyard. I love that she's like, voodoo's not evil. You all are the problem. We are the problem.

[B]

The dolls are scared of you. The dolls asked me to put a couple of pins in you. Okay.

[A]

Hello, Television actress has A question for merit. Bloody Mary.

[B]

Yeah, we need bloody.

[A]

Do you have any voodoo dolls that have a resemblance of Wendy Malik? Is that a silly question? Because she does sort of look like a voodoo doll on her own. Do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

I'm so sorry, man, but we're not allowed to make voodoo dolls. Actually working in high quality networks at the moment. Damn it.

[A]

I.

[B]

Woman's really pressing my buttons.

[A]

Wait, is this true? Wendy Malik is working on a prestige program right now. What? Sort of.

[B]

With Harrison Ford. With Harrison Ford? Eileen. She's swimming. Wendy Malek. The opposite of a voodoo doll.

[A]

Someone get Eric Stoltz on the phone. We need to do prestige together.

[B]

You want to work like Whitney Malek, you're gonna need a few more pricks than Yanni. Get over here.

[A]

Terry. Terry, call the agents. Tell them we need to find any A list actor over a certain age to be in some TV show on some program, preferably on the HG Network.

[B]

Do this right now, Terry. Let them know that I know Josh Flagg. Years ago, when we first started doing live shows, people would bring us, like, gifts and stuff, and we got. I got a gift. I don't know what you got that year. She gave you something, too. She gave me a. I don't remember, but she gave me a voodoo doll of Tamra. It's a Tamra voodoo doll. And it even came with, like, little pins. It's like this little doll, and it had Tamara's face printed on it. I still have that in my closet. And I have it in my closet in Texas because I don't want to leave it out because it just seems so. So weird. Like, who would keep a voodoo doll of Tamra? It's just bizarre. But I had to keep it. I couldn't get rid of it. So it's back there.

[A]

I still have the difference. This is the difference between like. Like the. Like the. The Ronnie people and the Ben people. Because, like, you get voodoo dolls and people are like, ben, I made you something that you could, like, put on your sewing machine. It's like, here's something to keep your fabric aligned. It's free. Was like, food doll for Tamra. I love it.

[B]

It's one of the best things I ever got. I'm keeping.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

I'm gonna be buried with it.

[A]

And that's no shade, obviously, to our listeners. I just think it's really funny, like, what comes down. What comes down the way for both of us.

[B]

So then we go to Shannon, Gretchen and Tamara and Mary's like, so are you. Are you on lookers and not participants? Is that it? Okay, there's no such thing as an observer, and that goes for all of you. So once you're an observer, you're an observer participant, okay? So you're part of this. So you can pretend you're not part of this, but you're part of this. Okay, lady with the ribbon in your hair, I'm looking at you. Okay. I'm looking at you, Pencil with eyes. And Gretchen's like, okay, well, then I'm gonna leave. And she says she's leaving because it's spooky. But we know she's leaving because she thinks of satanic.

[A]

Yeah, it's like voodoo.

[D]

I don't like voodoo.

[A]

Okay, sure. So I also think it's funny that this lady is like the ambassador for voodoo. Like, isn't like, voodoo, like, born out of, like, Africa and, like, Haiti? And you have this, like, this old white lady be like, let me tell you about voodoo. It's sort of a funny, funny ambassador. So Tamara is. But listen, I love Bloody Mary. She can be on the show any episode that I want. Any episode, any day, I should say. So Tamara's like, if I don't have.

[D]

Enough problems right now, I don't need any bad spirits.

[A]

I'm like, you are the bad spirit. You are the voodoo spirit. You are the pin.

[B]

You're the one. Yes. You're the one that's infusing all those dolls. You're like the fucking spirit stone. What does he collect on the. What are the stones? You're like an infinity stone of evil. Like, you're going to bring all of these things to life, you know? Well, what is a voodoo doll gonna do? I saw the Brady Bunch, so I don't know what that means. Was there a voodoo episode of the Brady Bunch?

[A]

There must have been. My first. My first exposure to voodoo, I think, was like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dune. Dune Doom. Temple of Dune.

[B]

Temple of Dune. He's like, we're gonna find the Spice guys.

[A]

And wasn't there, like a kid who, like. Like a young prince in there or some? He was doing voodoo on people and people like, ah. And I was like, I love it. I want to do that to all my enemies. As a child, I was like, son.

[B]

Wouldn'T it be so easy? Yeah. Just to torture people with a little doll? But she's reframing voodoo as, like, a goal setting thing. She's like, here's what voodoo is. Positive affirmations. No, that's not what voodoo is like. You need to steal someone's hair, glue it on something, stick them with a pin, and then watch them have a headache, you know? That's what voodoo is. That's what I've learned from movies. I didn't know voodoo was like, oh, wow. You get a job all, and you. You tell it that you hope it gets a man, you know?

[A]

You know, I don't know how you do the voodoo that you do, but what a man. So Gina is like, so they walk out. Basically, Shannon, Tamara, and Gretchen walk out, which is funny. And Gina's like, that's an interesting throttle to walk out. And she's not wrong. It is sort of hilarious. These, like, legs, legacy members of the show Legacy blondes, are exiting stage left because they don't.

[E]

People who love Jesus come outside.

[D]

I wouldn't say that I love Jesus.

[A]

But I do believe that there is.

[D]

A beignet vendor out there, so it will join you.

[B]

I figured as long as we're having.

[E]

Positive affirmations, I'm giving this doll a donut.

[B]

Look, it worked.

[A]

Shadow just voodooed herself to have a donut.

[D]

Well, everyone, it's not my fault. I had the donut. Unfortunately, the doll made me do it. So does the doll want another donut? I guess so. The doll can't control herself. Have another donut doll. Please don't take a photo of that doll.

[B]

A fatty photo of a voodoo doll.

[E]

So Gina's like, what do you think they're talking about?

[B]

Well, I mean, I'll tell you. Earlier today, Shannon and Tamara basically made up, and I just sat between them. I mean, they're gonna be. They're not gonna be best friends and braid each other's hair and spend the night in each other's room, but it was a step forward. And Jen's like, listen, I want Shannon to do whatever she needs to do with Tamara, but Shannon, who's rolling on who now? Who's rolling on who now?

[E]

Shannon.

[A]

It's true. So Gina's like, all right, well, one.

[D]

Person made up with Tamra. That's pretty good.

[A]

So then Tamara, the other. The trio are outside, and Tamara's like.

[D]

Are they making voodoo dolls? Would that be funny? And no, Shannon's like, well, unfortunately, I do think that they are, because I am feeling very compelled to go over to this beignet Fender again. It's not my fault. I swear to God. They're doing goodwill on me, quite literally. Okay.

[E]

They're gonna be possessed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jen's voodoo Doll was like, oh, let's make it look like Tama.

[B]

And Jen's saying, yeah, well, if Tamara.

[E]

Was to be making a voodoo doll of me, it would be like, my hair's longer. Yeah, I'll use hair since it's for Jen's ugly. Yeah, I'll use a plastic surgeon. Jen's fat. Yeah. And I'm gonna do Fearless video so I can be like, Tamara.

[A]

Tamara's even mad about, like, the voodoo dolls copying her. So Shannon's like, so what happened when.

[D]

Katie went over to your side at the French market? Tell me everything. Spill the deets, girlfriend. And Gretchen's like, oh, when she came up Matt with us, well, she just said that, like you said that she's a criminal and that you don't want to be anywhere.

[E]

What?

[D]

What? I never said the word criminal. I said she does illegal things and should be in jail because that is in her nature and that is her station in life as someone who does illegal things. I never said she was a criminal.

[E]

I just said she should be taken care of by the criminal Jord.

[B]

The criminal court justice system and the criminal criminal Jordans.

[E]

Also.

[B]

The jorts are criminal. Jorts are criminal.

[D]

We know that. That was some voodoo. Whoever invented those was under the spell of voodoo jorts.

[E]

Well, I said, you committed an illegal act, and I have said my piece.

[B]

With you, and there's not one fucking.

[E]

Word that you can say to me that I will change my mind.

[B]

She recorded me, and that is against the law. And Gretchen Gus.

[E]

Oh, we're back to that. Well, I like Katie, and, you know, listen, in fairness, Shannon, you got a dui, and that's illegal, too.

[B]

And she's like.

[A]

Oh, she just shut Shannon up, right? Without I. That came so out of left field to me. I was not expecting Gretchen just to just do that. And it was so good. I mean, because Shannon, like, do you could.

[D]

You want to be friends with people who commit legal acts?

[A]

Well, you committed a dui, which is way worse. You could have killed someone.

[B]

She literally shut Shannon up. I mean, Shannon was just like.

[A]

It was. She shut me up.

[B]

I mean, I literally.

[D]

I went, oh, oh, oh.

[E]

Shots are fine. I mean, that's the first thing I ever agreed with Gretchen on.

[B]

And so Gretchen's like, well, what do.

[E]

You think of the situation, Tamara? Well, I think maybe you give her another chance, and she up again, you know. Okay, well, says the girl who. Where she just went and tried to get a story reported about you. She had a meeting with a woman.

[A]

A woman.

[D]

Can you believe it? Of all the genders to meet with, she met with a woman.

[A]

So Gretchen is like, who's that?

[D]

And Tama's like, katie Monique. I don't even want to say it because it's so disgusting. Oh, God. That she met with Kiki Monique.

[A]

So then Tamara's like, I was warned.

[D]

About this story before we started filming. Somebody in the press reached out to me to set, let me know that Katie had lunch with a blogger. Can you believe it? That I had to hear from a blogger that Katie has been meeting with bloggers.

[B]

Awful.

[D]

Just awful.

[E]

Her name is Kiki Bandit, and she said some pretty horrific think about me.

[B]

Okay, fine. But did Kiki Monique repeat the things that she said? No. So why are you dragging her into it? I mean, Kiki Monique's always been like. She's always been so nice to people, I think, right? I mean, of course we're friends with her. We like Kiki Monique, you know, So, I mean, maybe I'm not being, like, fair or whatever, but I've never heard her say anything evil. I've always thought she was very nice.

[A]

Kiki is great. We don't have to be fair. We're not the New York Times. We're not like. We're not like, like, reporting on the news. We can be biased. But also, I just can't take seriously a situation where you're mad at someone for talking to bloggers. And the way you found out is because you talked to two separate bloggers about it. So Tamara's like.

[D]

She's like, I told you. Katie said that you told her that I roofied you.

[A]

No, I had to rewind that three times so I could follow it. Okay. Tamara found out from someone who heard that Katie told Kiki that Gretchen told Katie that Tamara roofied Gretchen. I was like, let me. Let me process this. I'm like, I'm reading Thomas Pinchon right now. This is like, so labyrinthine, but, like, so here already. This is. You are ridiculous. If you want to be really smart, you are ridiculous.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Oh, don't be ridiculous. Don't be ridiculous.

[B]

Not.

[A]

You are. That's the Shannon version.

[D]

You are ridiculous. That's a classic Bronson Pinjo.

[B]

Don't make me get all balky on you.

[E]

I will do it.

[D]

Belky Bartacobos.

[B]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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Cootard.

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