#2973 RHOM S7E11 Part Two: Flamencos On The Side of My Face

Summary

Watch What Crappens #2973 – RHOM S7E11 Part Two: Flamencos On The Side of My Face

Main Theme / Purpose This episode is the second half of Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam’s deep-dive recap and comedic takedown of The Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM) Season 7, Episode 11. The hosts revel in the drama between Lisa, Larsa, Jody, and the rest of the Miami cast—especially the social-media fueled feud over the infamous “unfollow Marcus” demand, relationship messes, and the accidental self-destruction of Julia’s likability. Set against the backdrop of a “spiritual flamenco” group event and a luxury dinner, Ben and Ronnie mock, analyze, and imitate the Housewives’ latest antics with their signature irreverence and affection for Bravo absurdity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Lisa-Larsa Feud: "Unfollow Marcus"

• Overview: The main catalyst of chaos is Larsa’s insistence that Lisa unfollow her ex-boyfriend, Marcus Jordan (son of Michael Jordan), on Instagram. Lisa resists, and the group divides over whether she’s violating “girl code.”
• Larsa’s Hypocrisy: Gertie/Ben note Larsa was previously ostracized by the Kardashians for refusing to unfollow Kanye West, making her current demands hilarious and ironic.
  • Quote: “[Larsa] comes from this world of, like, fame whoring… That’s the only reason she dated Marcus in the first place.” – Gertie, (10:44)
  • Quote: “She's not gonna just give this up [following Marcus], but she should… think about the fame whores, guys.” – Gertie, (08:45)
• Group’s Take: Most cast members (and the hosts) agree Lisa should unfollow Marcus, but recognize that Lisa loves proximity to fame.
  • Quote: “It's much harder to unfollow someone like Marcus Jordan who has ties to mega stardom…” – Ronnie, (07:40)
• Underlying Power Dynamics: The unfollow demand becomes a power struggle about who controls group loyalty.

2. Jody’s Involvement and Long Texts

• Jody (Lisa’s guy) Enters the Chat: After drama escalates, Jody sends Larsa long-winded texts about her meddling, causing her to feel “attacked with letters.”
  • Quote: “I'm not equipped for this right now. I need a notary.” – Lisa, melting down during the drama (34:58)
  • Quote: “He didn't attack me, I don't think, but, like, I was attacked with letters. There was, like, so many letters.” – Larsa, (28:59)
• Block Party: Larsa blocks Jody after being overwhelmed by his lengthy texts.
• Gender Double-Standard?: Ronnie wonders if Lisa only objects to women telling her what to do, since “she’s open to hearing things from like, a man” (09:53).

3. Julia’s Fall from Favor (& Ronnie’s Personal Encounter)

• Julia in the Crosshairs: Despite being a fan favorite last season, Julia is now seen as a pot-stirrer, instigating drama on the group trip.
  • Quote: “How did Julia go from being so great to being the worst so fast?” – Ronnie (12:42)
• Ronnie’s BravoCon Story: Ronnie shares a memorable (awkward) encounter with Julia at BravoCon, interpreting her aloofness as a sign of her current TV villainy.
  • Quote: “She wasn’t mean. She just kind of looked me up and down and was like, oh. Huh, huh.” – Ronnie (14:06)

4. The “Spiritual Flamenco” Event

• Comic Relief as the group attends a flamenco session meant to cleanse and heal their drama—only for the bridezilla energy and bickering to persist.
  • Memorable Moment: Adriana delivers factoids on gypsy history and flamenco’s healing purposes (20:24; 20:38).
  • Cringe Karaoke: Housewives take turns singing in flamenco style, with Larsa and crew roasting each other’s attempts.
    • “Lisa was actually amazing. I was like, Lisa was so good.” – Ronnie (22:09)

5. Pre-Dinner Gossip and Dinner Blow-Up

• Animal Heads & Fashion: They dine at Café Ozama (“there’s animal heads everywhere!”), all dressed in red except Stephanie in a “bordello Swiffer sweeper” (24:04).
• Gossip Escalates:
  • Larsa claims Jody accused her of tipping off paparazzi to Marcus’s drug use, which she denies and ridicules. (26:06)
  • Lisa says the guy “told us that you were the one that sold the picture of him doing coke.” (26:44)
• Silly Sidebars: Banter about Stephanie’s pre-nose job “mustache” and minion-like self-love (24:42).

6. Lisa’s Legal Meltdown

• Notary Emergency: Amid the dinner, Lisa gets an urgent email about her divorce and needs a notary in Spain ASAP; the group tries to help and offer random notary leads.
  • Quote: “She needs to figure this out right now. And she’s starting to melt down.” – Ronnie (30:48)

7. “I’m Removing Myself From This Toxic Situation”

• Larsa’s Dramatic Exit: Larsa, worn out by Lisa’s drama and long texts, storms out, declaring she’s “removing herself from this toxic, toxic situation.” (32:53)
• Lisa’s Confusion: Lisa insists she just needed a notary, feeling persecuted.
• Everyone is Exhausted: The group is “not equipped” for this many layers of pettiness (34:44).
• Gertie’s Recap: “God, this fight's so stupid. I kind of love it, though.” (29:48)

8. The Jody Texts are Real (Allegedly)

• The cast verifies the existence of Jody’s “officially texts”—actual messages with “words on a phone that came from somebody else's phone”—cementing the trivial stakes of the feud (36:54).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Larsa’s friendships:
  “Larsa is not a good friend.” – Ronnie (03:34)
• On Lisa refusing the unfollow:
  “She's not gonna just give this up, but she should. Think about fame whore suckups, guys. This is, like, what they live for.” – Gertie (08:45)
• On Julia’s new attitude:
  “How did Julia go from being so great to being the worst so fast?” – Ronnie (12:42)
• Flamenco factoids:
  “Flamenco was originated in Sevilla by the Gaetanos… and part of their culture was the healing process to express that pain and that emotion in song.” – Larsa & Adriana (20:24–20:41)
• On drama fatigue:
  “Can we just have, like, one dinner that's not about Lisa?” – Larsa (32:02)
• Larsa’s exit:
  “I’m gonna remove myself from this toxic, toxic situation.” – Larsa (32:53)
• Gertie’s label for the text:
  “Those are texts. Those are officially texts. I saw them. There are words on a phone that came from somebody else's phone. And it's green, which means that it's probably him. This is what we call a text message.” – Gertie (36:54)

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Timestamps for Key Sections

• 03:34-09:22: Lisa/Larsa “unfollow Marcus” argument; group weighs in on Insta-drama and motivations.
• 13:12-15:10: Ronnie’s BravoCon Julia encounter; Julia’s new mean-girl energy.
• 18:59-22:09: Flamenco “healing” event, group singing, comic moments.
• 24:04-25:05: Dinner at Café Ozama, fashion roasts, Stephanie’s awkward self-praise.
• 26:06-29:48: Gossip about paparazzi, Larsa feels victimized by Jody’s texts.
• 30:13-31:46: Lisa’s notary meltdown and legal woes.
• 32:02-34:17: Group dinner blow-up, Larsa’s dramatic exit, Lisa’s confusion.

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Final Thoughts / Tone

Ben and Ronnie deliver their signature blend of mockery and genuine Bravo fandom: imitating cast members, highlighting their quirks, and underscoring that the “crap” is at the heart of why fans love the franchise. The tone is snarky, playful, and occasionally affectionate—neither letting anyone off the hook nor veering into mean-spirited territory. The comedic recap transforms what could be rote housewives drama into a laugh-out-loud, memorable podcast episode.

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For Fans Who Haven’t Listened:
This episode offers a blow-by-blow of RHOM’s social-media warfare, relationship messes, and group trip trainwrecks—peppered with hilarious impressions and sharp-witted Bravo analysis, making it easy to keep up with the drama even if you missed the show.

Transcript

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[Ronnie]

Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So they. They're getting ready for spiritual flamenco and they're all doing this. And Adriana goes to Lisa's room and Lisa is on the phone with Jody. And Lisa's like. And Adriana was there for the whole thing. Jody, okay. And all she does, all Larsa does is she says, oh, like, she's literally a bad friend to me. And she keeps on saying, I'm a good friend, I'm a good friend, I'm a good mom, I'm a good this, I'm a good that. X, Y, Z. All these things. She just keeps on going on and on. And then we do see a montage of Larsa declaring that she's a good friend, which is hilarious because Larsa is not a good friend.

[Gertie]

Larsa, yeah, Lars is, I don't think, known for being a good friend. Right. Four weeks earlier, we see all of this stuff. So then Jody's like, well, have you ever met a better son yourself? Proclaimed friend. Why would you be a good friend to her? Now? She spent the last couple of months being a predator to me. And you, why are you so there now?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I need to get to the bottom of this right now. So the producer's like, okay, let's get Jody in for his first ever confessional. Okay, now, Jody.

[Gertie]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

We want you to say your truth.

[Gertie]

Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.

[Ronnie]

If you would like to open your teeth up, like, if you want to open your jaw to speak, that would be great. But you can just say through your teeth, that's fine. All right. You know, okay, you know what, Lisa? Okay, if you watch the Instagram videos, it's really gonna distract me right now.

[Gertie]

What? What? I'm not looking at Instagram. What am I doing? I'm not doing anything. I like something. Okay. I like something. Okay, you got me you got me. I'll just keep. You just talk. You just talk.

[Ronnie]

It's my. It's. It's like my first time. Like, I'm not a pro at this like you are. Okay, hang on.

[Gertie]

I just. I just made a new account to follow Marcus under, so I can double follow Marcus.

[Ronnie]

Hey, I'm getting a little hot. I'm gonna go in the other room for some AC for a second. Right back.

[Gertie]

She almost broke us up because of her meddling in my relationship. Okay, well, explain how Larsa got between you and Lisa and almost caused you to break up. And Jody's like, yeah, well, you know Lolisa, you know, she's very special, I guess is a word I'm allowed to say right now in current culture, but she has people. People coming at her all the time. And, you know, a percentage of that comes at me too. And that's just how that is, you know? And it's really raw how you feel time. You know what I mean? I can't even. I have to drink. I have to eat my food out of a straw now. So it's been, like, really, really hard.

[Ronnie]

I mean, how much can a man take? I'm like, I don't think he's taking that much, to be honest. So Jody's like, well, okay, well, Adriana, don't worry about it too much. Cuz if she's going to act like an then we're not going to treat her nice in response, like, ooh, burn. We just got jod.

[Gertie]

Yeah. So now people are gathering in the lobby to go to whatever, And Lars is like, yes.

[Julia]

We were, like, talking, like. And I was like, lisa, did you follow my ex? Like, and she was like, no luck. And I was like, no luck? And she was like, no luck. And I was like, you're a grandpa.

[Ronnie]

Oh, God, this is bad. So then Gertie is like, oh, my God. So there were text messages. Like, did she. Okay, did she followed up with something else? Or did she just say no? Did she say, no?

[Larsa]

It's like, yeah, no. He was like, no. She just said like, no.

[Gertie]

Oh, no, no. Tell me this didn't happen. Is that what she said?

[Larsa]

No, no, I didn't follow that.

[Gertie]

Gertie's gasping like, it's the most shocking thing she's ever heard. It's a power struggle. That's what's happening right now. That's. That's. That's what we call a power struggle. And, yeah, it's a power struggle. That's what I was thinking. No, but I said it. Yeah, well, I was saying I was going to say it. No, but I did it. No, I was going to. Well, good for you. But, you know, thankfully, someone with more star power said it because it needed to be said. You know, listen, and Adriana is like, I think she will unfollow on her own terms. She just doesn't want to be told what to do. Everybody, you know, sometimes people should be told what to do, though. Okay.

[Ronnie]

So good is like, no, it's not right. Okay. It ain't right. Lisa, girl code. You met him through her. And Alexa's like, yeah, I don't really see the point that you don't have to follow any of your. Like that. That you have to follow any of your friends. Husbands. Like, I really don't. Like, I don't even Steve. And I'm like this with Marisol. I'm like, yeah, but Steve is also not related to, like, one of the most iconic athletes of all time. I'm not saying that to justify Lisa, but it's like saying, like, acting like. Like you like, it was. It's. I imagine for someone vapid like Lisa, it's much harder to unfollow someone like Marcus Jordan, who has ties to mega stardom, than. Yes, for someone to unfollow Steve. Like, it's not.

[Gertie]

Yeah, because that's like a trophy on her wall, you know? She's like, oh, my God, I know. Someone's so rich and famous, you guys. Yeah, no one's following Steve. I mean, who follows Steve? Like Dick Sporting Goods probably threw him a follow.

[Ronnie]

You know, Steve doesn't follow Steve. He, like, he goes on. Steve's like, it's like, you have no followers. Yeah, but. But, yeah. I mean, like, Lisa for sure should unfollow Marcus, but I understand. Like, it's just that's. It's not for someone like that.

[Gertie]

It's not as easy for the fame hoards its mommies.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Yeah, Think about the fame whores, guys.

[Gertie]

Yeah, think about fame for suck ups, guys. This is, like, what they live for. She's not gonna just give this up, but she should.

[Ronnie]

They all.

[Gertie]

She's an.

[Ronnie]

She should. They all get into the sprinter vans to go to spiritual flamenco, and they're all saying, like, Julia is, like, mad about this. She thinks that this is a way for Lisa to become close with Larsa, which is true. And Marisol is like, well, I don't like it. And I. I highly encourage her to stop following him. And Alexia's like, who's Kylie No, I highly. I highly encourage her.

[Gertie]

Kylie in the other sprinter. Van Julie is like, okay, straight question.

[Julia]

Why are you not unfollowing Marcus?

[Gertie]

Leah, does anyone think, like, when someone. Does anybody, like, when somebody tells them what to do? No, I don't like that. That's a good point. That's a very good point. I don't like being told what to do because I'm Gertie. I tell people what to do. Nobody tells me what to do. So I go, no.

[Julia]

But she was asking as your friend now.

[Gertie]

She wasn't asking as a friend. She was asking very, very aggressively.

[Ronnie]

Is it. Does Lisa not like when someone tells her something to do, or does she not like it when a woman tells her something to do? Because Jodi's always telling her things that she should be doing, and she's like, okay, I'll do that. Jody, do this. Like, she's always, like, happy to hear it from Jody. And I'm not even saying it like, Jodi's, like, bossing her around or being domineering, but, like, she's open to hearing things from, like, a man. And yet, whenever it's, like, one of the other ladies, she's like. But I guess, to be fair, to counter my own thing, she probably is suspecting the motives of everyone on this cast. And, like, the. The moment that someone on this cast asks you to do something, she's, like, already guarded against manipulations. Whatever. Lisa's in the wrong here.

[Gertie]

Yeah. And also, I like that it was already pointed out on the show that Larza was famously dumped by the Kardashians because she wouldn't unfollow Kanye and stayed his friend, you know, so it's like.

[Ronnie]

That's true.

[Gertie]

Lars is kind of a hypocrite, too. And Larsa comes from this world of, like, fame whoring. That's the only reason she dated Marcus in the first place, was to get that. Get that fame. So it's kind of silly, you know, abuse.

[Ronnie]

You know, the cycle of abuse. She's like, well, this happened to me, and so now I finally get to do it to someone else, which is basically, like, you know, use social media as a way to, like, sever a friendship. Like, I was. I was discarded because I didn't. I didn't unfollow someone. And so therefore, Lisa should be discarded because she's not unfollowing someone. This is the rules of being famous.

[Gertie]

Yeah. And Julia's like, well, for me, I.

[Julia]

Would never speak to him again.

[Gertie]

Oh, girl. Nobody. Marcus doesn't care you're more friends with Marcus. That's. I mean, that's a little different than Lisa and her husband or her boyfriend being friends with Marcus and going out with him and stuff. And she's like, as someone who will.

[Julia]

Say, you know, my friends, you know.

[Gertie]

Including me, are not good enough to wash his dishes. And I forgot about this clip.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Gertie]

Marcus at the reunion was saying, God, these women wouldn't even be able to do dishes at our house, let alone be trying to bring themselves into this. Catholic has such a douche.

[Ronnie]

He really is. So, Lisa, like, I assure you, if I went through anyone who you all follow, I'm sure there's someone. Some. There's something about somebody, whatever.

[Larsa]

And Julia's like, but he insulted you indirectly and all of us, and you still follow him.

[Ronnie]

Well, you keep cutting me off. Julia. What I was going to say is.

[Julia]

No, I'm just talking about Lisa because you deflect. You deflect.

[Ronnie]

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Let her finish. Because we haven't heard Lisa's point in 10 years, okay? Please, Lisa, do you have a point?

[Gertie]

Why are you so, like, up lost his ass? Anyway, he's like, oh, my God, we can't go through this right now.

[Julia]

But can we stop? Listen, I organized trip. It is freaking nightmare again. And everybody's yelling, you're starting the fight.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You're inserting yourself into a stupid ass fight.

[Gertie]

Yeah. You're starting the fight, and you're escalating the fight. And now she's like, oh, I need break.

[Julia]

I need break. Stop the car. Stop the car. I can't, because everyone is fighting on my trip.

[Gertie]

Well, stop starting fights with everybody. Julia's the worst. How did Julia go from being so great to being the worst so fast?

[Ronnie]

Because last season, people were like, oh, I think Julia's gonna be on the chopping block. She's not doing much. You know, she's doing opera. So she. Fame. The fame poison got to her. She realizes she has to be awful to stay relevant on the show. So they get to a spiritual. Spiritual flamenco, which is, you know, let.

[Gertie]

Me tell you before we get to spiritual flamenco. So, you know, Bravocon, there's all these Bravo stars standing around, and I really don't walk up to people like, oh, I do a podcast about that. I prefer to, like, kind of stand back and just watch everything and make fun of it to other people. That's how I roll. But Julia was there, and so I was like, well, Julia's in the same room. You know, we were both in this, like, lounge or whatever. So I was like, well, I've got to say hi to Julia. I love Julia, because back then I did. So I go up and she's with two fawning gays, and they're like, oh, my God, Julia. You know, like her assistants or whatever they were. And so I went up and I was like, hey, Julia, my name is Ronnie, and I do this podcast called Watch what Crappens. And I just have to say hi because I really love you on the show. And she just looked at me like, why the fuck are you talking? She just gave me this look, like, I don't know how. Like, she wasn't mean. She just kind of looked me up and down and was like, oh. Huh, huh.

[Julia]

I was like, okay, nice to see you.

[Gertie]

And I just walked off, you know, because normally, I mean, they're at work at this thing, and so normally people are very nice, you know, Like, Adriana was really nice, but she was just kind of an asshole. And I remember thinking, well, Julia's not an asshole. She probably. And I'm sure she hasn't listened to Watch what Crappens, you know, so. And if she had, she would have liked it because we're always on her side. So I was like, that was weird interaction. She seems kind of like an asshole, but surely she's not an. But then after watching this season, I'm like, you're an. You are an. I should have known it back then.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Sometimes when people show you who they are.

[Gertie]

Let them show you again 10 times, because nine times out of 10, you're going to be doing it over dinner.

[Ronnie]

So when people show you who they are, just remember they're not stars like Alexia. So they. They arrive and Julia is like, she's so mad. And. And like, you know, and. And. And then also Julia is saying, like.

[Julia]

Everything is about me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

[Larsa]

And what you shared today, Kiki, was very deep. The things that you shared.

[Ronnie]

Also, you almost threw up from oyster. And that was very funny. And Kiki's like, yeah, but we're different. So Julia is like, you know, she's just saying we respect each other's energy. She's like, in a tizzy. And Kiki's like, I cannot believe we are fighting on who Unfollow who on Instagram. I'm like, I can't believe it either. And yet, at the same time, this is Lisa and Larsa, so it's par for the course.

[Gertie]

Yeah, this is right up their alley, huh?

[Julia]

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[Gertie]

So now we hear singing in Spanish, and we're at spiritual flamenco. Yes.

[Ronnie]

So they are. This leader is there, and she tells them about the healing qualities of flamenco and how it's so, like, this is, like, a deep, emotional art that is, like, gonna cleanse you, and it's gonna align with chakras and everything, and they are getting flowers put around their neck. And Gertie's like, I have a big head. And Marisol's like, me, too. And so does Stephanie, which means that I think we're gonna be commercial soon with Ronnie, Gertie, Stephanie, and Marisol selling Fords.

[Gertie]

So Kiki is flashing her boobs at everyone, and Gertie's like, if I had a nickel for every time Kiki's flashing somebody and I put it on my head, I would have a gigantic headed nickel. Head. Big head.

[Ronnie]

Big head. So they're all dancing, and Stephanie's like, it's really nice to, like, hang out with Alexia and, like, not fight, because maybe because we're, like, dancing, like, maybe that's what we should do. We should just, like, d. What we always love, we love doing. We love to dance. The show. The Showma Ju group. Oh, my God, we have so much fun just dancing. And you know who loves to dance? Masoud. He is like a child at heart. Is hilarious.

[Gertie]

God, I wish I was dancing with Massoud right now. It's so hard to move my feet. I just love Masoud. I wish I could get some chest hair in my teeth right now, just randomly. God, I miss him.

[Larsa]

Fun fact. Flamenco was originated in Sevilla by the Gaetanos.

[Ronnie]

Okay?

[Larsa]

And throughout history, gypsies were always ostracized. And part of their culture is the healing process was to express that pain and that emotion into their song.

[Ronnie]

Thank you, Adriana, expert on all things.

[Gertie]

Yeah, I love that. Adriana, resident expert on all things. So Sumaya's singing, and Adriana's like, yes, this group needs Healing.

[Julia]

We need it.

[Gertie]

We need it badly. So I'm glad we are here. And Sumaya's like, I want it of you to sing. Okay. Do it like that with your heart.

[Ronnie]

I'm like, lars is up first.

[Larsa]

She's like, I.

[Julia]

I, like, like, like, like. Like.

[Larsa]

A female deer still hasn't unfollowed Marcus Jordan. I.

[Julia]

And she's like, well, I suck, but, like, so does everybody else.

[Gertie]

And then Adriana probably gets the closest, you know, she's like. And Lars is like, I'm sorry, Adriana.

[Julia]

But, like, even you sucked at it.

[Ronnie]

And then Marisol's like, I okay.

[Gertie]

You just got girded for aid. And Lisa's like. And like, oh, my God. Lisa was actually amazing. I was like, lisa was so good.

[Ronnie]

Lisa's secret skill healing from flamenco. Yeah.

[Gertie]

Yeah. So now it's time to get ready for dinner. And Masud calls. This relationship is coming as so phony and weird to me. They're so weird. Why are they like this? Do you think that? It's like they're still in the mode where they want to get revenge at the ex wife so that every scene, they're just trying to torture this woman? It's like, oh, we upgraded me to the presidential suite, and everybody want to watch me unwrap all the Chanel boxes he had sent here.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's, like, very demonstrative.

[Gertie]

It's weird. I don't know. I give them. I'm giving them five, but maybe the last six, I'll give them six and.

[Ronnie]

Give them six years. So they basically. He's like, oh, I need you to come back and do work because I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you more. I miss you even more than you miss me. I wish. I wish I were home right now yelling at 80 construction workers. I miss you so much, Masud.

[Gertie]

Yeah. He's like, oh, no, I miss you. Got very lonely at night.

[Julia]

She goes, oh, my God, you're lonely.

[Gertie]

Well, we know what happened last time you felt lonely. You found me. Don't do it again. He's like, well, Pebbles is just with me. Check. Oh, my God, Pebbles. She must love to be sleeping with my husband while I'm gone. Kind of like, I enjoyed sleeping with your ex wife's husband while she was gone. God. Oh, God, I love you so much.

[Ronnie]

I love you. Maybe you can, like, revitalize her career, because, I mean, she had, like, two or three good songs in the 80s, and we haven't heard from her since Mazud Go Help her out. So they all gather in the lobby.

[Gertie]

Love her cereal, though. I'll hand her that lover cereal, girlfriend.

[Ronnie]

There's other fish in the sea. Am I right, Massoud? So they all gather downstairs and they're wearing red because they realize they all have red. Except for Stephanie, who's wearing, like, this little feather dress. She looks like a little, like, baby chicken. They're all, like, in this red. And she's just like.

[Gertie]

She looks like a bordello. Swiffer sweeper. Like a Swiffer sweeper you'd find like a duster that you'd find in a bordell.

[Ronnie]

It's like a pigeon that just got into a fight. So they are going to go to dinner all in red. And Alexia's like, oh, God, we look like prostitutes. Everyone's gonna think that we're prostitutes. Don't show, Todd.

[Gertie]

So they split into vans. And Stephanie announced it. They're talking about shaving. And Stephanie goes, oh, oh, I had a full blown mustache. Like, I used have so much hair. Like, I looked at my parents and I was like, why did you let me sport a mustache? My God, no wonder I didn't have friends. All right, well, what's your excuse now?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, and we see, like, before and after. Because she said, my parents wouldn't let me shave until I was like, 16. And then as soon as I started shaving, they're like, and I need a nose job. I'm like, what? Like what? That's crazy. And we see before and after, and she's like, I mean, I went from the ugliest child to this, like, beautiful swan. Look at me. I'm just like a gorgeous, gorgeous swan. Doesn't everyone agree I am just the most beautiful minion of all. She is so full of herself.

[Gertie]

So now they go to Cafe Ozama and there's animal heads everywhere. And really?

[Ronnie]

Oh, Bueller was like, speaking of animal heads.

[Gertie]

You were gonna.

[Ronnie]

Bueller's like, it was a terrible restaurant.

[Gertie]

You stop it. It is not time for that. You can relax for another hour and a half.

[Ronnie]

Geez, someone needs a hockey. Am I right? Jeez.

[Gertie]

Jesus, dog. I swear to God. Damn you talk about an animal. How do you start? Protest the Rottweiler.

[Ronnie]

I don't like that. You didn't say playful. Ronnie wasn't being playful.

[Gertie]

So now they're gossiping and Julia's like.

[Julia]

After spiritual flamenco, we are all going back to our rooms.

[Gertie]

Oh, yes. In the elevator there was a little bit of a verbal brawl over Jody.

[Julia]

Yeah, like something that, like, Happened in, like, Milan life.

[Gertie]

And so we see Larsa is now gossiping that Jody has been attacking her over texts.

[Larsa]

Yeah, I was, like, really hurt when I left Milan. And he said to me, you're the one that had the paparazzi take the photo of Marcus in the south of France. And I said, me? Like, what am I? This. The. The c. CIA.

[Ronnie]

CIA.

[Larsa]

Which I don't even know what the SIA is. Like, what, you think I'm like some pop star with a wig who doesn't show her face on the sia? No, I'm not. I'm Larsa.

[Gertie]

Then we see a picture of Marcus snorting the coke again. And Lisa said, well, the paparazzi guy did tell us that. That's what he told us, that you were the one that sold the picture of him doing coke.

[Julia]

It's like, okay, well, like, you're, like, full of shit.

[Gertie]

Like, I believe it.

[Ronnie]

I don't know what to believe. So you're saying that, like, Larsa took the photo and sold it to the paparazzo?

[Gertie]

No.

[Ronnie]

Well, tipped off the paparazzo. It's hard because, like, there's part of me that thinks that Larsa would be petty and vengeful, but there's also part of me that doesn't feel like Larsa could coordinate an international paparazzi scheme. So I don't really know where I stand on this one.

[Gertie]

Well, she said you're the one that had the paparazzi take the photo of him. So, I mean, I guess she could have just said where he was or whatever and said, like, he's partying. But I guess, how would she know that he was gonna do coke on the boat? But then, of course, she would know that he's always doing coke on the boat. But would Larsa really think that's a big deal, a celebrity being caught doing coke? Like, who cares?

[Ronnie]

I think that. I mean, I think I can imagine Larsa saying, like. Like, go find.

[Larsa]

Like, go take pictures of Marcus. He's probably doing something stupid on a yacht somewhere.

[Ronnie]

But, like, I also, like, don't always trust these paparazzi that, like, pop up, up. And, like, like, yeah, I saw that. Yeah, I did that. Like, the paparazzi are, like, not trustworthy, and yet they're always happy to trust them when it serves them and got for gossip. So Lisa was like. Lisa says, like, well, so Lars was mad, and I was like, calm down. And I walked out the elevator and.

[Larsa]

Lars is like, before I know it, 20 minutes later, my phone is blowing up with text Messages from her boyfriend.

[Julia]

She's like, I don't want to sit next to her. I would not look at her. I would not, like, talk to her.

[Gertie]

Like, and so she says, it's not.

[Julia]

Like Jody's, like, calling me A or anything. He's just sending me these really long text messages. And I've never been in this situation before. It's like the second time this season. People have tried to make me read things. I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. Like, you're a man. Deal with my boyfriend. Deal with my brother and my dad. Like, not me personally.

[Gertie]

I Love Jody. Hello, Mr. Larza. I'd love to have a discussion about Larsa.

[Ronnie]

I know.

[Gertie]

Sending people to take pictures of my friend doing coke on a boat.

[Ronnie]

So, Larsa, was Jody being mean to you?

[Larsa]

No.

[Ronnie]

Did he call you a.

[Larsa]

No.

[Ronnie]

Was he being insulting?

[Larsa]

No.

[Ronnie]

So what was the issue?

[Larsa]

He just sent, like, really long text messages, and that's just, like, a lot.

[Gertie]

So many words.

[Julia]

It was like, so many words. Like, he didn't, like, attack me, I don't think, but, like, I was, like, attacked with letters. There was, like, so many letters.

[Ronnie]

But to be fair, like, I thought Lisa and Larsa were good. What are the things that Lisa is saying that Larsa has done since we saw the makeup? I think they've been in a good place. Right? Am I missing something?

[Gertie]

She just hasn't unfollowed Marcus. Yeah, but Larsa was never okay with Lisa, even after they made up, because she was like, okay, yeah.

[Julia]

We're like, friends again. I'm, like, so glad with friends again. Thank God.

[Gertie]

And then she leaves and she's like.

[Julia]

I still hate Lisa because, like, who could do that to their friend?

[Gertie]

Like, so she never really.

[Larsa]

But.

[Ronnie]

But Lisa said the reason why she didn't unfollow is because Larsa has done some stuff since that lunch, and that's why I'm like. But what was the stuff that made you, like, walk back? Your decision to unfollow Marcus?

[Gertie]

No.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Gertie]

God, this fight's so stupid. I kind of love it, though. Well, guys, today has been amazing. I mean, other than like, two of us, like, the two stupid people, everybody else else is getting along. I mean, look, Alexi and the little helmet head had a good time. Me and Adriana even had a good time. I mean, wow, look at us guys. It's beautiful. So thank you all.

[Ronnie]

Wow, it's so great. Then it's like, bling. And he's like, what oh, my God. Oh, no. I need to answer a notary within an hour. What is this? Oh, my God. And so she. Lisa has. There's some sort of affidavit that she needs about her marital settlement and parenting plan that she's supposed to get, like, signed right away, like, asap. And now she's freaking out because I don't know what you do in this situation if you're international and you need to get a notary. So she needs to figure this out right now. And she's starting to melt down.

[Gertie]

Did honorary. Oh, I love. I thought Audrey said, don't worry, hold on, I'm a notary. But she didn't. She said, no, no, don't panic, okay? My son is a notary. Okay? Do you want to send it to my son? And she's like, no, don't you need to be in front of the notary? And Kiki's like, lisa, are you okay? I'm dealing with some legal stuff.

[Julia]

Oh, my God.

[Gertie]

I gotta get something notarized because I have to file it. So, like, I gotta get. I'm trying to get out of a trial because otherwise I have to leave a day early and I have to spend a lot of money on this trial. It's like, I gotta get out of it. Guys. I need a notary.

[Ronnie]

So. By the way, I hope that said.

[Gertie]

Oh, sorry, Go ahead.

[Ronnie]

I was just looking up. It says, for international use, you may. You may need to seek an authentication through a U.S. embassy or consulate or use remote online notarization services that are recognized internationally.

[Gertie]

Oh. Or do it before you leave town like you're supposed to. Lisa. Yeah, but I hope they find a notary in Spain. That's like. Saw it.

[Ronnie]

I saw it Every. Every stamp. Every time they stamp. Like.

[Gertie]

It'S always extremely dramatic. Beautiful singing. So Lisa's having a fit and Lars.

[Julia]

Is like, oh, yeah, like, whatever. Like. Like another Lisa meltdown. Like, I feel like, can we just have, like, one dinner? Like, one event that's not about Lisa? Like, oh, my God.

[Gertie]

It's about you being mad about a follow of your boyfriend. How is that better?

[Larsa]

I don't want to have another meal that's all about Lisa, so let's make it about me. I just want to go home. Like, I think I just want to go home. Like, I think I just rather order room service and this and that and xyz. Just go home, like, to the hotel. Because it's just, like, it's coming a whole day late. Like. Like, she doesn't apologize to Julia for her behavior, because suddenly I care about that. And it's like, I couldn't even, like, ask her about Marcus thing, because she blows that up. She plays victim every day. But I'm the real victim here. Like, so I'm gonna go home, like, because I'm the victim, like, and I can't even tell you what Lars has done. She can't even do it. I'm gonna remove myself from this toxic, toxic situation.

[Ronnie]

Like, yeah.

[Gertie]

So Lisa comes back, and Lars is.

[Julia]

Like, yeah, well, like, I want to look at the red, like, because, like, I don't want to let people, like, part of, like. Like, you know what I'm, like, saying? Like. Like, I don't, like, want to be part of it anymore. It's just, like, it makes, like, zero, like, sense. Like, it's like, what? Oh, I'm gonna remove myself from your life, okay? Like, you don't, like, have to, like, think about, like, anyone else. Like. Like, I feel like I don't, like, have any more arguing, like, or, like, I feel like, like, any type of, like, situation with you. Like, I've had it. Like, you come late. Like, everyone at this table, like, literally. Literally, I feel like everyone. I feel like, literally, this feel, like, table has said that you're not the greatest friend, okay? Like, literally.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you're speaking for everyone now. That's what you do.

[Julia]

And speaking for everyone, I'm speaking for literally, okay? And everyone literally said, like, I feel like you don't call people back. Like, I feel like you guys all editors, like, a red flag. Do you remember that, you guys, like.

[Gertie]

There were so many red flags in your red flag.

[Ronnie]

Speak to her, okay? Speak from your heart directly. Like, don't speak for other people, okay? Because we are not in the mood to fight with her. Well, we all have other scenes planned for that. Don't worry. Go ahead.

[Gertie]

We've got a whole weekend to get through here.

[Larsa]

So I'm just saying I'm, like, I'm gonna go. Like, this trip is done. Like, I'm gonna go. I don't want to be part of it. Okay? You don't have to worry about anything else. I remove myself from your life. You don't have to worry about me.

[Gertie]

Yeah, Like, I'm done.

[Julia]

Like, I feel like I'm done.

[Gertie]

Like, okay, so you're gonna ruin every day this week.

[Julia]

No, but she, like, ruined. She, like, r the whole. Like, I feel like we can, like, xyz. What did I do? What did I do?

[Gertie]

Hold on, I'm going to cry. Now hold on.

[Julia]

What did I do?

[Larsa]

I'm going to remove myself from this toxic situation. I'm too good for this.

[Ronnie]

Like, so she leaves, Stephanie goes with her. And Lisa's like, I was literally minding my own business. Like, I was trying to find a notary.

[Julia]

But I'd like to, like, tox. Like, I don't want to be, like, part of this, like, toxic situation. Like, she can have it. And he's like, I'm not equipped for this right now. I need a notary.

[Ronnie]

Larsa, why are you letting Lisa get through to you? Get. Get to you, though? Like, you're here for us too?

[Larsa]

No, but, like, her boyfriend's texting me. Like, like I don't need her in my life. Like, she doesn't do this for me in my life. Like, look, like, look like, look like.

[Ronnie]

So. Oh, my God. All right, I'm here. Now what? Huh?

[Gertie]

What? No, you go. You go. No, you go.

[Ronnie]

All right, all right. Hold on. Can we make this quick? I got my chocolate chip ice cream coming up.

[Larsa]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

Larsa, why. Why are you leaving like this? Listen, you guys haven't spoken. It's not making any sense. She's going through some hard pips and.

[Gertie]

Julia comes over and Stephanie's like, that doesn't take away from the fact that Jody should not be texting her. That's not what boy should do. Marisol's like, wait a minute. Johnny texted you? Oh, my.

[Ronnie]

So you texted Jody right after the elevator, and Jody's been texting her like crazy. Remember? At least his last. Like, what? Well, I don't know. Like, Jody told me she just texted him and. And called him like, I don't know. What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I don't know.

[Gertie]

Yeah, well, she had to block him because he wasn't stopping the texting. And Lars is like, yeah, but like, I blocked him.

[Julia]

Like, on my phone. Like, I blocked him.

[Larsa]

Like, what?

[Gertie]

What?

[Ronnie]

Wait, what's happened? I need to see everything. Cuz these are good text messages. You should put them up on a wall somewhere so they.

[Gertie]

She shows the text to the girls, and Gertie's like, oh, those are texts. Those are texts. Those are officially texts. I saw them. There are words on a phone that came from somebody else's phone, and it's green, which means that it's probably him. It's the other person. It's not coming from this phone. I can tell you right now. This is what we call a text message.

[Ronnie]

Good.

[Gertie]

So much silliness. This show Is ridiculous.

[Ronnie]

So funny. Oh, my God. Love it.

[Gertie]

Everyone.

[Ronnie]

Thanks for being here. How funny.

[Gertie]

What a good show. Thanks, everybody. We sure love you guys. Go check out the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Trailer trash over on Patreon and we will talk to you next time. Also tonight, Monday, 4pm Pacific time over on Amazon Live. We'll see you there, everybody. Bye bye.

[Ronnie]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Allison Block Our.

[Gertie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Gertie]

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Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica.

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Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

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Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacy B. Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk?

[Ronnie]

It's Leslie Plunkett she gets an A.

[Gertie]

From us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ronnie]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Gertie]

I love a Ya Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.

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She sure is swell.

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[Gertie]

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Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

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[Ronnie]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Gertie]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen.

[Ronnie]

It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish. It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley in the studio with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi, always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.

[Gertie]

The incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud, neat.

[Ronnie]

It's Ronit Feldman, she's the queen bee.

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It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie if it's Sarah Tellafsun Shannon out.

[Ronnie]

Of a can and Anthony, please don't stop at Soli and pop let's take off with Tamla Plain.

[Gertie]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet Cootar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Julia]

Yes, Mr. Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all. But who was your muse?

[Geico Narrator]

Oh, my dear old Nat. She imparted many wise words to me. She would say, never let the fame get to your head. Always remember who you are and let people get more than just savings. With Geico's fast and friendly claim support, I lived up to her advice. And now anyone can file a claim anywhere and anytime. I miss her so much.

[Gertie]

Did she go somewhere?

[Geico Narrator]

Extended quilting trip.

[Gertie]

Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico.

[Nick Cannon]

It's your man, Nick Cannon, and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y' all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best, best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy and.

[Gertie]

And you know what?

[Nick Cannon]

You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery plus right now.