#2979 RHOM S7E12 Part One: The Strain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plane

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode #2979 Recap

Show: Watch What Crappens
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: August 25, 2025
Episode Title: RHOM S7E12 Part One: The Strain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plane

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie recap Season 7 Episode 12 (“Uncivil in Seville”) of The Real Housewives of Miami. The focus is a dinner-turned-meltdown in Seville, Spain, centering on Lisa’s ongoing divorce drama and the group’s escalating annoyance over her chronic tardiness and perceived self-absorption. Tensions are amplified by Stephanie, the new cast member, who leverages her private jet as social currency, and by Larsa’s increasing frustration with Lisa’s behavior. The recappers blend sharp humor with genuine Housewives insight, dissecting the group’s dynamics, individual flaws, and the Bravo universe at large.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami: Best Housewife Show of the Year? (03:38 - 06:48)

• Ben raves about the season, ranking Miami above Salt Lake City, The Valley, and Orange County:
  • “Miami is like batting 1000. They are having an excellent season.” (03:38)
• Ben shares his 2025 Bravo show rankings, placing Miami at the top and sparking debate over his choices.

2. Loving & Hating Bravo: Apologist vs. Critic (06:48 - 07:24)

• Discussion of the McBee Dynasty and Ben’s rare open disdain for it:
  • Ronnie: “I think the listeners really like you hating something, too, because it’s just not your general vibe.”

3. Personal Tangents & Housekeeping (08:27 - 11:07)

• The hosts banter about shirts, outlet shopping, and their bonus episodes, setting a light tone before the recap deep dive.

---

Real Housewives of Miami Recap

The Dinner Table Drama: Lisa’s Notary Crisis & Group Meltdown

Setting the Scene (11:53 - 13:32)

• The episode opens at a tense dinner in Seville.
• Lisa is distracted by urgent divorce matters—specifically, finding a notary, which irritates the other women.
• Ronnie is perplexed by the group's anger:
  • “Lisa’s so nice. Like, Lisa never does anything to anybody. So she’s late. Who cares?” (11:53)
• Ben fires back that Lisa’s chronic lateness and self-centeredness are genuinely “bratty,” not just quirky:
  • "Her constant disrespect of being extremely Tardy is...rude. So she may be a nice person, but she’s a brat. I’m sorry, it has to be acknowledged." (13:20)

Stephanie’s Jet & Power Play (12:40 - 14:31)

• Stephanie repeatedly dangles her private jet to control group dynamics, which Ben finds both hilarious and increasingly annoying:
  • “She is starting to wear on me a bit. Her using this airplane like a kid bringing a toy to school...is getting a little annoying.” (12:40)
• Ronnie points out that Stephanie may be out of line, but the group’s “punishment doesn't fit the crime” for Lisa's tardiness.

The Larsa-Lisa-Jody Triangle (15:29 - 19:55)

• Larsa is furious about Jody (Lisa’s boyfriend) texting her during the Lisa fight, feeling he’s overstepping.
• Ben and Ronnie highlight the high school-esque absurdity of the group dissecting texts nobody can even read.
• Notable comedic bit: Larsa hilariously misuses slang like “to Lulu”, while Lisa’s drama is called "notary public, more like notary private.” (19:29)

Gertie to the Rescue (21:07 - 22:15)

• With Lisa in meltdown mode, Gertie jumps in to manage the chaos:
  • Gertie: “Let’s get a game plan. Okay. You got a notary. We gotta sign that first. Second thing, we’re gonna eat something...We got this.” (21:53)
• Ronnie compares it to Gertie handling a wedding disaster as a party planner.

Alexia the Notary Expert & Group Sides (25:49 - 27:04)

• Alexia questions Lisa’s notary urgency, playing up her expertise:
  • “I just don’t believe you have an hour. Like, that doesn’t sound right. I’ve never heard of a notary like that.” (25:49)
• The absurd logistics of signing divorce docs at a girls’ dinner: “I swear to God, I’ve never had so much attention put on to a notary in the history of Bravo.” (21:08)

The Lisa Notes Controversy & Group Dynamics

Lisa Takes Notes—Literally (35:27 - 38:42)

• Lisa is revealed to be taking written notes on her friendships, causing paranoia.
  • Larsa: “Can you imagine being friends with someone who’s, like, taking notes on you? Like...it’s dangerous”. (37:37)
• Ronnie defends the tactic as something pioneered by Yolanda on Beverly Hills.
• Comic highlights include Ronnie’s rundown of real Housewives note-taking as “very smart housewives behavior” (36:14).

The Plane and the Power Dynamic (47:42 - 48:11)

• Stephanie tries to exclude Lisa from the group flight, making her “jettiquette” the hill to die on.
  • Ben: “Stephanie has now created a situation where it’s like, oh, there’s an option that we can exclude Lisa. So she is doing this truly as a power play.” (47:42)

Julia’s Godparent Announcement (49:22 - 50:20)

• Julia tries to reset the energy by sharing plans to appoint godparents for her children, but it falls flat as the others are preoccupied with drama.

Comic Relief & Housewives Absurdity

Drawing Penises on Ceramics (41:09 - 43:42)

• The group’s ceramics class devolves into a contest of who can draw the most grotesque penis.
  • “Julia’s is horrifying...she signs it like, ‘Oh, this is very accurate. I will sign it. I am artist now.’” (43:10)
• Stephanie’s “dragon wing” penis gets a full comic breakdown by Ben and Ronnie.

Inspector Gadget & Housewives Know-It-Alls (45:59 - 47:10)

• Adriana gives a full art history lecture on Sevilla, leading Gertie to nickname her “Inspector Gadget.”
• Ben: “Inspector Gadget has nothing to do with art history…she just called her Inspector Gadget, which was just so funny to me.” (47:04)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (on Miami’s season):
  “Miami is like batting 1000. They are having an excellent season.” (03:38)

• Ronnie (on Stephanie and her jet):
  “No one wants to fuck you and your old man balls plane, okay?” (12:14)

• Ben (on the notary saga):
  “Notary public? More like notary private.” (19:45)

• Ronnie (on Housewives drama texts):
  “All these ladies seeing texts...it looks like a horror show. Everyone’s horrified just seeing all the words.” (17:20)

• Gertie (parody):
  “Okay, Jody, tell me everything. Do you need bouquets? Does the notary need bouquets? I can get them there in a second.” (27:04)

• Alexia:
  “I just don’t believe you have an hour. Like, that doesn’t sound right. I’ve never heard of a notary like that.” (25:49)

• Larsa (mocking Lisa’s dramatics):
  “It’s like, nonstop, like, it’s like yeast infection.” (35:05)

• Ronnie (on drawing penises):
  “Stephanie’s was the scariest… When the foreskin unravels like wings… something’s wrong, is what I’m saying.” (43:10)

• Stephanie (about Lisa’s lateness and group tolerance):
  “She’s been friends with them for a really long time. And they have learned to just accept the way she is and continue to allow her to be a destructive way, which I think is actually correct.” (51:14)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Best of Bravo Year/Rankings: 03:38–06:48
• Personal Banter/Housekeeping: 08:27–11:07
• Recap Start: 11:53
• Lisa’s Notary Meltdown: 11:53–21:08
• Gertie Saves the Day: 21:07–22:15
• Alexia’s Notary Doubts: 25:49–27:04
• Lisa Note-Taking Scandal: 35:27–38:42
• Ceramics Penis Drawing Scene: 41:09–43:42
• Jet Power Play Dynamics: 47:42–50:20
• End of Part One Wrap: 61:19

---

Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, quick-witted, and dripping with Bravo insider references. The hosts oscillate between genuine empathy for these (often absurd) characters and razor-sharp sarcasm, making for a recap that’s both informative and sidesplitting.

If you missed this episode, you’d learn not only about Lisa’s legal drama, Stephanie’s social climbing, and Larsa’s endless penchant for slang, but also get a front-row seat to the art of Housewives mockery at its finest.

---

For part two of the recap, listeners are directed to a subsequent episode.

Transcript

[Ronnie Caram]

You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave your suitcase? Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real. And you know what? It's completely normal.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's exactly why Hill's Pet Nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. With all our imperfections and daily juggling acts.

[Ronnie Caram]

Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it. They've created science based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more Ready to let go of the guilt?

[Ben Mandelker]

Find the right [e-mail] crappens that's hillspet.com crappens Weight loss medications are everywhere right now. Everyone's talking about them, everyone's on them. But let's be real. Have you seen the price tag? It's hard to believe they're actually accessible. That's where HERS comes in.

[Ronnie Caram]

Hers is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans. They connect you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine the best treatment option for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

If prescribed, you get medication as part of a doctor developed weight loss program complete with ongoing care check ins, dosage and medication adjustments.

[Ronnie Caram]

With weight loss by hers is realistic, not restrictive and it's affordable. Hers provides access to both oral medication kits and GLP1 injectable options.

[Ben Mandelker]

Start your free online visit today at forhers.com crappens that's F O R H.

[Ronnie Caram]

E-R-S.com crappens for your personalized weight loss.

[Ben Mandelker]

Treatment options for hers.com crappens weight loss.

[Ronnie Caram]

By hers is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not approved or reviewed for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription Required website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan Purchased what's the difference between a house and a home? A home is a cozy place, a place that feels unique to the people living in it. And photos on the wall is a perfect way to make your space fully yours.

[Ben Mandelker]

Smallwood Home can help you with that. Smallwoodhome.com turns your favorite photos into gallery quality framed prints or wrapped canvases. All handcraft in the usa, shipped in days and priced to make your Whole home smile.

[Ronnie Caram]

I just ordered fantastic pictures of my nieces and my family when they were here in Los Angeles. And I'm going to have that memory forever. And they look amazing. With fast shipping, affordable pricing, and the highest quality prints available, it makes sense that Smallwood home has over 3 million happy customers. And now it's your turn.

[Ben Mandelker]

Right now, get 30% off when you use the code crappins@smallwood home.com that's promo code crappins to get 30% off your first order at smallwood home.com give your memories the showcase they deserve. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and Joining me today, Mr. Ronnie Caram. How are you, Ronnie? What's going on, buddy?

[Ronnie Caram]

What's going on with you today, baby?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I'm thrilled because we're talking Real Housewives of Miami. And this episode was so good and so hilarious. It was actually so good that I took myself over to social media and I proclaimed, first of all, I don't know. I don't know if there's going to be a show that's going to be able to top Miami this year. Salt Lake City is going to be the strongest contender we're going to see. Salt Lake obviously comes back in September and Salt Lake City has been on a tear for several seasons and they are pretty much the elite cast to beat on Bravo. But after watching last night's Miami episode, I'm like, I don't like this is going to be a hard one to top. Miami is like batting 1000. They are having an excellent season. And I don't know. And so then I went and I ranked all my favorite shows of the year so far. So I really went into a tizzy.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wow, you had quite a day.

[Ben Mandelker]

I literally ranked every single Bravo show of 20, 25 so far. And I said, these are my, this is my favorite from top to bottom. And actually what I discovered was that like, the majority of the shows I really loved, like next gen New York City wound up sort of like mid pack, mid to low pack on the list. And people were like, you put it too low. And I'm like, actually, I loved next gen New York City. I just loved everything this year on Bravo for the most part. I mean, I loved Southern charm. A lot of people didn't love Southern charm. I love Southern charm. I love Beverly Hills. I loved it all. I Love this. I love the pocket. I love the seam.

[Ronnie Caram]

I love it. I love that you. Love that you had that moment where you just gave love to everything that's so good. That drive to do that kind of shit, you know, that's been. On a sober night, you know, I'm drunk or something when I'm like, you know what? Here's everything that I love. I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate everything that I love. You can do that sober, you know? I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I. I don't know, but that's how good Miami was. It sort of like me. It's sort of like Miami was so good. It uncorked all my love for all the Bravo show. And I think I have. I think I put Miami as number one. Should I just pull it up at this point? Some of them. I won't go through the whole list. I mean, but I think I put Miami is. Miami is definitely number one. I put as my. My number two. I said the Valley is number two. I think the Valley was really like. Yeah, I think the Valley was really like appointment television. I'm putting Orange county as number three so far. This is, by the way, so far. It could all change by the end of the year. I think Orange county is having a great season so far. I'm really enjoying it. This is a little controversial. I put Beverly Hills as number four. Maybe I put that slightly too high, but I was, like. At first it was lower, but then I was thinking back, and I was like, I had so much fun with Sutton and her mom and dorit losing her mind and dorit yelling at Kyle. There was, like, a lot of joy that I had at watching that season. Southern hospitality. I put at number five. I think we've forgotten about it, but it had such a good season. And then love hotel. I almost wanted to put love hotel because I just love to love hotel. And then it goes on from there. I won't go through all of it, and you guys can just make a guess what my last one is on the list.

[Ronnie Caram]

But, yeah, I just love the McBee dynasty. God, somebody over there doesn't enjoy a dribble door. One of the best shows of all time. You know, it's so funny how your hatred of that show makes me like it so much more. I don't know what it is about it, but I think it's so fun. Listen, and I feel like the listeners really like you hating something, too, because it's just not your general vibe. So I think the biggest compliment we get on that show is that you hate it so much. It's a lot of comments like, wow, hates this. I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I normally am a Bravo apologist. Like, if I like something, I will just like, like it and be like, no, it's great. Even when it starts to decline.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it is nice to just outright hate something. But I love that you love it. Like, I genuinely love that you love it. And then I, you know, it's, it's fun. But anywho, we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about Miami. As a reminder, we have tonight, there's going to be crappy hour where we are going to be talking about the latest headlines and goss on Bravo. We always have fun with that. That's going to be at 5:30 on the West coast and 8:30 on the east coast. And then you can just figure out your time zones if you're not in those. And then also we're on Patreon. We have bonus episodes. Last week we had a really, really fun bonus episode where we told tales of our youth and interacting with certain celebrities like Robert Goulet and Sally Kellerman and Diane Cannon. And maybe there's another celebrity that was in there, Emmy Lou Harris. Maybe. So come join us on Patreon for all that good stuff. Plus, crap is on demand where you can watch the video. But that's enough. We've talked.

[Ronnie Caram]

You can see us both in collared shirts today.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, we're wearing Revenge.

[Ronnie Caram]

Ben looks very cute, a little preppy shirt. I'm in like an Easter shirt. I don't know. I'm wearing Easter colors lately. I'm really into it.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is a Gap polo shirt. And I have to say, I've been enjoying this shirt so much that after this, we're done recording, I'm gonna go to the Gap and see if I can get more polo shirts. I'm hoping that they're still there and that they have not started to transition into their fall wear.

[Ronnie Caram]

For anyone who's wondering, I'm heading over to Palm Springs today for the weekend and I was gonna take my friend with me. My little. One of my little Persian besties, Mike. Hi, Mike. Love you. And he reminded. He's like, I can't drive with you because I'm gonna stop on the way because the. And I was like, of course. The Persian is like, we're going to the outlets. Because every time you go to Palm Springs with the Persian, they pull over. Like every time Nadine does it too. Every single time. It's like, where has Nadine been? And it's like four hours. She's like, I'll be 10 more minutes. So, yes, I. I'm gonna have to go to the outlets because. Or maybe I'll save it for the ride back. But that Sunday, it's gonna be hell. So I think maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, you're gonna want to. You want to do it today, but.

[Ronnie Caram]

My friend Brady's coming up from New York, and she lands in Palm Springs at 2:45. So I just told her, get an Uber to the house and give her the. Give her the door code. And then I'm gonna go to the Outlets. I'll buy her.

[Ben Mandelker]

You should go to the Outlets. It won't be as crowded today.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, no. Cause I'll Bueller in the car.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bring Bueller. Yeah, let's. Everyone brings their dog everywhere.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, it's California. That's true. I could just be like, I don't even have to say anything. You just bring them in. Right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Last time I went to the Cabazon Outlets, I saw Faye Resnick there. So what star might you see there?

[Ronnie Caram]

Did she have a dog?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, she was with an older man and they were walking along and she was wearing a cowboy hat.

[Ronnie Caram]

And I thought, wow, God, can Kyle. Friends. Friends of Kyle. They're just all in their. Their cowboy era.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, no, definitely go the Outlets today, because everyone is thinking that they're going to go to the Outlets on the way back, and it's packed on Sundays, so.

[Ronnie Caram]

The Outlets today, baby.

[Ben Mandelker]

Y. Okay, I hope something cute.

[Ronnie Caram]

If people can take their dogs to Whole Foods, I can take my dog to the Old Navy Outlet, and that's it. All right, let's get on with it. So I can go because now I'm excited to go to the Outlets.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know you. We really should be podcasting because you actually are trying to get to Palm. You're actually trying to go on vacation right now for your. For your birthday weekend. And I'm yammering about. And here's my top 10 favorite commercials I saw on Bravo.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's not. Yeah, Maureen, come on. That's. That's worth it. I wanted to hear it. And, you know, I don't go on the social enough, so it was good to hear it.

[Ben Mandelker]

This was on Blue Sky. I don't think you're even on Blue sky, so you probably wouldn't have even seen it anyway.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I'm not on.

[Ben Mandelker]

I sort of have, like, different content on different platforms, I'm discovering.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, really? So follow him on everything. Everybody if you want to see the same picture for three months at a time, you can follow me because that's all I normally.

[Ben Mandelker]

I do a lot of board game content on Blue Sky. I feel like I'm oddly self conscious about my board game content because I.

[Ronnie Caram]

Feel like liberals more into board games than.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I just feel like me tweeting about board games on Twitter, people are just gonna be like, what? But for some reason, Blue Sky, I haven't like, it's like it's a new Persona I can establish. So I mainly do that. But then I randomly threw in this like, top 10 bravo. Something another. Let's talk about Miami. This episode was so fucking good. So hilarious.

[Ronnie Caram]

Season 7 Episode 12 Uncivil in Seville so here we are at a restaurant, Larza fighting because Lisa is taking calls about needing to find a notary. And it's very upsetting to everybody. Everybody's very upset with Lisa in this episode. And it's so funny to me because I just think Lisa's so nice. Like, Lisa never does anything to anybody. So she's late. Who cares? Just leave without her. I mean, I don't understand how it's this, this making everybody this fucking crazy. And then even Stephanie whips out her plane again. Like, well, we're going to decide who's going to ride my plane. No one wants to fuck you and your old man balls plane, okay? I don't care about you and your draggy old man nuts plane. Shut up about that plane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can't wait to wear on me a little bit. I'm not going to lie. I've been a fan of her all season. I think that she's been a great casting choice. I've been really enjoying her being obnoxious, but she is starting to wear on me a bit. And I think that her using this airplane like, like a kid bringing a toy to school and then like being able to use that as have a power trip of who gets to play with a toy is getting a little annoying to me. It is hilarious, but it's annoying. And I'm also getting annoyed with her laughing in her confessionals, thinking that everything she says is so damn funny. And I say this as someone who laughs at his own stupid jokes on a podcast. Literally, that's all we do is sit.

[Ronnie Caram]

Here and laugh at ourselves all day.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like right now, I just laughed at. I. I just did it. But that being said, wait, no. Lisa would drive me nuts, okay? Because I think her constant, or I think her. Her constant disrespect of being extremely Tardy is, is actually, I think that's rude. So she may be a nice person, she may be nice to talk to. She's a brat. I'm sorry, it has to be acknowledged. And not a fun Charlie xcx. She's a fun full on brat. And it's enough.

[Ronnie Caram]

I mean, look, I get it. I'm not saying that being laid is, you know, cute or okay or that I love it because we all know I will leave your ass if you're late. But I just, I mean the amount of the punishment doesn't seem to fit the crime is all I'm saying. Like she, she gets in her own way. I mean she was late to this trip, she had to take a train, she had to carry her own luggage, she had to do all this shit and she's still late. Like she's never going to learn. It's just who she is. So you know what? I just don't understand why everybody needs to be like, oh my God, should we disinfect? Okay, I'm getting ahead. I'm getting ahead of myself.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, the disinflight had nothing to do with her being late.

[Ronnie Caram]

It literally did though. Stephanie was like, I don't want her on my plane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh well, she eventually used that as an excuse, but we'll get into the stupidity. I think Stephanie just wanted to create like a power dynamic where like, like, oh no, you might get kicked off the 22 minute flight. I think that's what she wanted to do. She did not sincerely care about whether or not she was on the plane. Okay, so we're back at the restaurant where we left off last week where Larsa was getting mad at Lisa because Jody was texting her and Larsa's like, I don't need this in my life. Like, and she tells us. So Jody texts me, she, he texts me. And like I'm trying to like let it go and like, and, and I'll drop and, but like, but like you seem to like not want to. This is what he says. He says, I'm trying to let it all go and drop it all. But like you seem to not want, not want to and let this fight go like. And like I just want to let this fight go like, but we, we've been like, we've been trying to do so. And I said, I never in my life said anything rude to you like, ever. Like.

[Ronnie Caram]

And then we get a flashback of Larsa. If you don't understand that, Jody, you're like a fucking like psycho, like, fucking like. So the editor is just so funny. And she. And then Larsa. I love Larsa. Struggling to sound 15 at all times. Hold on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes.

[Ronnie Caram]

Sorry, I was sneezing. So she's like, this is like, to Lulu. This is like the Lulu. Like, and she says 10 times.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, like she did.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because it sounds like new slang to her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I think that she. Like, maybe it was either she either learned that or she got confused about, like, labubu. And then she started saying dulu or whatever it is, but she used it, like, every. Every scene she was saying to Lulu.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love when she picks up new slang. Samara.

[Ronnie Caram]

Still saying that is the bomb dot com.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she told a bowl of rice.

[Ronnie Caram]

Recently that it had Riz. I was like, I don't think you're using that right. She's like, no, this rice has Riz. Yeah. My sister. I think she just heard the word Riz. So she's like, wow, this rice is Riz. I said, I don't think that's.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, Kyle Richards is gonna be saying Riz all of next season of Beverly Hills. She really will be. So there's a lot of back and forth in this scene because there's a good group that's away from the table, and there's a group at the table. So Marisol goes from the Larsa group, but that's away and goes back to the table. All right, here's the sit. There's a situation. The situation is that Jody has been sending her text all afternoon, so she. She's upset and probably needs a khaki. And Adriana goes, marisol, there's a legal motion going on, and we got to take care of that first, and then we'll deal with Joe, the Jody fight for tomorrow and tomorrow's episode. So fine.

[Ronnie Caram]

One of the funniest things is all these ladies seeing text, because we all know how a wall of text looks to these ladies, and it's not good. It looks like a horror show. Everyone's horrified just seeing all the words. They're like, oh, my God, someone made so many words. Like, you see Alexa looking at it? She's just blinking like, no, no, no. I'm like, you guys aren't even reading it. I don't even think it said anything that bad. You know, from what we've heard, it hasn't. It didn't say anything bad. It's like, please stop fighting. Please stop fighting. I think. So, Stephanie. Stephanie's like, why is Jody texting Larsa? Nobody's significant other should be texting any lady. We Are women we don't text men cannot text women. This is insane.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Alexia does her stand up routine, which is like, it feels like he's like trying to stick up for Lisa and like fight for Lisa. See, ladies, that's the problem. We can't tell our men too much because they're damned if they do, damned if they don't, right? This is the difference between men and women. Am I right? Like men, you tell them too much, then they get involved. If you tell them too little, they don't get involved. Am I right, ladies? Anyone? Anyone here?

[Ronnie Caram]

Did she say it later where she was like, this is why we can't let them watch a show. Don't let them watch the show because they go crazy?

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought it was really funny. I can't remember hearing her say that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, I think, I think. Well, maybe it's just in my head, but I think that when she said that, she was like, this is. You can't let them watch a show or you can't let them watch it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because this is what they do.

[Ronnie Caram]

They get mad. And so Lisa joins the Larsa group and she's like, listen, can we just stop? Larsa, go back to dinner, come on. She's like, no, I want to get off this ride. Like Lisa, I've got to get off the ride. Like, so Lisa just ignores her. She's like, oh, God, I'm going upstairs. I'll take the call. Just go eat like Jesus Christ. So Adriana is like, larsa, there's two separate issues. Jody should not be texting you. And then there's Lisa with lawyers and her children. This is very bad. Let me tell you. When lost started loss started over the sale of a good, people were very upset about it. In Jesus time. The coach says, Jesus Christ, we don't have time for this right now. Adriana.

[Ben Mandelker]

Been going on for like three years. Like, like every day is like the worst day of my life. Like, come on now. Like, so Gertie goes all the way upstairs to find Lisa who's like crying. And then Larsa's like, I mean, from the time you sit down, it's like, do you have a notary? Do you have this? Do you have that? Do you have this and that? Do you have XYZ and this and that and xyz? It's like, change the whole dynamic. Like, like no one wants to hear about a notary when you're having dinner. Like, like notary public. More like it should be notary private.

[Ronnie Caram]

Larsa, you changed the dynamic when you Start screaming and yelling at people at dinner. Like, you're the one who turned this into a big fight and started getting up and leaving and doing all this.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love it.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like she changed the dynamic that it was, like, so peaceful.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, Larissa just does not like that Lisa might be centering, like, getting. Getting attention. Because Lisa does have. Whatever. That for whatever reason, she has some sort of legal issue that needs to be resolved in an hour, and she needs a notary, and she's, like, freaking out, and Larsa hates us. Like, oh, my God. Just as usual. Like, she's. Larsa is mad that Lisa might. Might be pulling the attention of the cameras at that moment because of this notary. Or she may even believe that Lisa planned it so that way this would happen. So Larsa is just, like, obviously really pissed off, but Lars is only pissed off because she wants to be the one in that position who gets all the attention.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm notary. Like, so Lars is like, yeah, don't kill the vibe. Like, for the rest of us, like, we're here to, like, celebrate. Like, this is, like, the loo. Like, the loo. It was, like, to Lou. Like, Lou.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, so then upstairs, Lisa's sobbing, and she's like, what a. Like, what the. Like, leave me alone. Okay, you know what? Notary first. Notary first. Okay, let's go to a more quiet place. Okay, let's go. Let's sit. Okay, we're going to a new room.

[Ronnie Caram]

New room.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're going to our third location in 30 seconds on this TV show. Okay? We're here to focus on what's most important. A notary. A notary public. I swear to God, I've never had so much attention put on to a notary in the history of Bravo.

[Ronnie Caram]

The notary needs to come on screen. I need the notary to be a character. No, Terry, remember, she was already on. She was already on Salt Lakes. Salt Lake City. No Terry. No, I forgot about that. We need to have no Terry show up on this show.

[Ben Mandelker]

No Terry. Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Listen, Lisa, you think you're gonna have dinner? This ain't no time for dinner. I'm notary, and it's time to get some shit signed. Have a seat. You've got one hour. You better get this signed before appetizers come. Are you screwed? No Terry. No, no.

[Ben Mandelker]

Terry's such a.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Gertie's like, oh, my God, things are stressful. Here comes Gertie. Gertie is going to solve this. Okay, what do we got to do? What do we got to do? Let's get a game plan. Okay. You've got a notary. We got to sign that first. The second thing we're going to do, we're going to eat something. Okay? You got that? Okay. You feel better? Me too. Me too. Me too. We got this. We got it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. Darling, this. This is a walk in the park. To other situations that I've been in the midst of, such as a groom saying no at the altar. That's right, everyone. A groom saying no at the altar. Easy. I could do this in my sleep. Goodified.

[Ronnie Caram]

So this is how I handled it at the wedding. The groom has said no at the altar. The groom has said no at the altar. Get the bride's text, put them on a screen and embarrass the bitch. All right. The groom is paying for this wedding. All right. He's paying for 75% of it. All right. Let's embarrass the groom too. Do something embarrassing to the groom too. Okay? By the way, is my headshot still above the bride and the groom where they're supposed to be standing? Okay, great. Great. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to? Quince has the good stuff. High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather. All at prices that make sense.

[Ronnie Caram]

Quint has closet staples you'll want to reach for over and over. Like cozy cashmere cotton sweaters from just 50 bucks. And comfortable, lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Quint's only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes.

[Ronnie Caram]

We've been talking about quints for a long time. We both love it. I love online shopping and quint is the most fashionable destination I use for sure. I've got a beautiful suede jacket that I got from Quints. I get compliments on it every single time I wear it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I actually currently have a Mongolian cashmere Henley sweater in my shopping bag and I'm about to hit purchase as soon as we're done recording this very ad.

[Ronnie Caram]

Keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from quints. Go to quints.com crappins for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com crappens to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com crappens we are sponsored by the.

[Ben Mandelker]

New movie from Searchlight Pictures. The Roses.

[Ronnie Caram]

Perfect couple. Ivy and Theo Rose have it all. Successful careers, a loving marriage and great kids. But when Theo's career comes crashing down, just as Ivy's fame starts to skyrocket, a tinderbox of fierce competition and growing resentment ignites, threatening to destroy everything they've built if they don't destroy each other first.

[Ben Mandelker]

All's fair when love is war.

[Ronnie Caram]

For anyone who's ever been in a relationship, the Roses is a crowd pleasing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Comedy starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg, Allison Janney Tsuti ghatwa and Kate McKinnon.

[Ronnie Caram]

From the director of Meet the Parents and writer of Poor Things, directed by.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jay Roach and Screenplay by Tony McNamara.

[Ronnie Caram]

This movie looks absolutely hilarious. I love Olivia Colman so much. I'll see anything she's in. And this one looks like a home run. In theaters everywhere August 29th. Get tickets now.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just feel like I'm paralyzed like a cat. Like a scaredy cat. Oh, paralyzed like a cat. That old. That old chestnut. You know, when you feel paralyzed like a cat. Cats are known for being paralyzed, you know, When I think of a cat, I don't think of something that's nimble and moves quickly and can get everywhere all at once. I think of something that's just paralyzed, paralyzed. Scaredy cat. Help me. I'm paralyzed. Paralyzed.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Alexia back at the table is like, you know what? I just don't believe you have an hour. Like, that doesn't sound right. I've never heard of a notary like that. Like, that's crazy. Like, what, is there a timer? I don't believe it. I love Alexia with all her notary knowledge. He's like, this is not that notary's work, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

No, this is not a note. Look, okay, it's not called a yeserie. It's called a notary. And I say no. So Adriana's like, alexia, you know how men play games. Okay, babe, Lenny knows she's here. If Todd came for you and you needed to get something.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, no, no. You leave Todd out of it. You leave Todd out of it. No more talking about Todd. We have had enough of Todd. I will not have that nerd. Okay, okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jeez, I wish, I wish. They replayed that moment later on in the episode when Alexia was patting herself on the back for handling herself like a lady at all times.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, leave him out of it, por favor. We're not talking about Todd anymore. Poor favor. Yeah, if this is all going on, Lisa's about to Leave her. Kiss. And why is Jody sending you texts? I mean, why isn't he helping her? Jody should be helping.

[Ben Mandelker]

Meanwhile, Jody is on the phone with Lisa. So Gertie gets on the phone. She's like, okay. Jody, it's Gertie. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Do you have any text messages from the notary? Can we put them up on the screen?

[Ronnie Caram]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, Jodi, tell me everything. Tell me what has to be done right now. I'm on it. Gertie is on it. Do you need bouquets? Does the notary need bouquets? I can get them there in a second. What about a cake? Do you need table arrangement? Do you need a seating chart? What does the notary need? I will provide it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Jody, before we do anything else, I need you to know this. The groom has left the bride. The groom has left the bride.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's like, oh, Lisa, do you see a dj? Do you see the dj? Jodie, do you need a dj? Do you need a band? Band or dj? Which do you prefer, past apps or. No past apps. We're doing buffet. Buffet table service. What do you need, Jody? Just tell me.

[Ronnie Caram]

I see an actor, I think from Roseanne. Oh, no, they sent the wrong DJ again. God, they keep sending him. Lisa, I think you have until 5pm Eastern, and that's an hour and three minutes from now. Okay. There's a girl named Giselle. She's an online notary. Remember her? Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember Giselle. We used Giselle before. Yeah, you did it before. You just got to go to a computer. Oh, no. Computer. How am I gonna find the computer? You can use your phone. Okay, I got a phone. Okay, I could do that. Lisa, don't get yourself wrapped up in these fights, okay? Okay. I mean, I'll show you the text messages, and Gertie's like, jody, Jody, Gertie, Gertie, Jody, Jody, Gertie, Gertie. Clean the laugh. Clean the laugh. Clean the laugh. Copy, copy. Okay, Jody, listen. With Larsa, don't even engage any longer. Forget her number, okay? Don't text her directly. Do not. It's not a good look, Jody. It's not a good look, Jody. Okay? Next time you think of texting Larsa, go into the room for some ac. Are we still using that? Go to the room for some ac, Jody.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm having some right now. Look, now I just really need Lisa to make sure she gets this notary republic, okay? That's all I want right now for Lisa.

[Ronnie Caram]

Exactly. Exactly. That's my focus as well. Exactly. Meeting Adjourned. We did it. Hold on. Stay on the phone for one more minute while I nod consistently.

[Ben Mandelker]

Eagle has landed. So the other women are ordering.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Adriana was so intense in the scene. I just have to applaud Gertie for her being like, we are going to figure this out. Notary. Got it, Got it, Got it. Lisa. You heard that, Notary? Okay, great. You're not going to text the girls no more? Okay, great. We got it. We got. All right, everybody, let's hold hands, let's say a prayer. We're going to do this. We're going to get out on the field, we're going to find the groom, we're going to drag him back by his ankles and say, you don't leave a wedding and you show up at a divorce like everybody else. Okay? Got it. Got it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lisa needs that, though, because if she's on her own, she starts to spiral. She needs someone to come in and take care of her because again, she's kind of like a little brat. So Adriana is announcing that she went to mass today because I'm sensitive. I can't deal with this anymore. And Larsa just looks at her, goes in her. In her, like, angry. Her true Larsa voice. She goes, adriana, just go to the corner and cry. And she's like, but why? It's like all you do is make excuses for someone else's bad behavior.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, I'm not making excuses. I'm saying I can't take it anymore. I had to go to mass and I had to make tears. Okay, what. What kind of mass you have to go to? Like, mass murder? Like, get out of here. Nobody believes you, Adriana. No, I'm telling you, when people hurt, I feel it. I feel it right here in my heart. Your heart is on the other side, stupid.

[Ben Mandelker]

Still, Adriana always like. I mean, when I think of an empath, I'm like, oh, it's Adriana. She's the one. She's the one who feels people's emotions.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, well, she's definitely got a path in her personality, that's for sure.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I do not appreciate when people who gang up on someone. I've been there myself, and it didn't feel good. I'm like, you're the one who's always trying to get people to your sides. That way you can lead a gang up on someone every single season. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Julia. Julia's like, you know what would make everybody feel better? If we made kisses I will kiss everybody. Oh, sit down with your fucking junior high girls making out things. Sit down. No one needs to see you giving away your free makeouts with everybody. Gross. Sit down.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lisa finishes up with whatever she needs to do, and she's like, this is a major. This is a major, major life moment, okay? I'm getting divorced and I'm on a girls trip at a dinner with a crazy lady yelling at me and making it about her. And I'm just, like, grateful to have the two of my friends there for me. Mike. But is that. Was this the divorce? I don't think this was the divorce. Signing that. And that's the problem with Lisa, is that she's like, this is such a major event. I'm getting divorced. I'm like, but you've been getting divorced for years now.

[Ronnie Caram]

There is no expiration date on Lenny Trauma.

[Ben Mandelker]

There is none. But, like, you can't make every time you sign a document be like, a moment that you need to have, like, a celebration, okay? Like, when you get to the big one where it's the last document, that's when you can party.

[Ronnie Caram]

The final document party.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Lisa, Adriana, and Gertie come back to the table and Marisol's like, monkey, everything solved. Everything solved. Okay, let's just have a little chit chat. Okay? What's the problem? What's the problem? Why don't you, like, tell me what the problem, like, is like? I don't know. I've been dealing with legal stuff. It's been very difficult. But your boyfriend, like, is texting me, like, things like, he shouldn't, like, be texting me, like, so, like, what? What were they? I couldn't read it. It was, like, really hard. But it was a lot. It hurt my feelings, like. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lisa is like, well, everyone, all of America. This is the harassing text message that Jody sent to Larsa. Larsa, stop. I don't want this fight. You can't point at the sky and tell me it's not blue. You actually can. It's not blue. Especially at sunset. Okay. Stupid. Anyway, the texts continue. Listen, I don't want to argue with you. Clearly, we're not on the same page. What fight? Have a good night. And Jody responded. We don't need to be on the same page. It's in the past. If you let it go.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nothing too inflammatory.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, nothing too inflammatory. But, you know, it is a guy texting the woman in a fight. But Lisa does have a point later where she's like, well, she keeps Bringing up his name on tv. So I don't know. But I still think in general, like a housewives rule, you shouldn't. The guys shouldn't get involved, you know? Yeah. But on the other hand, it's also this cast taking a text and making it the worst thing ever. Like this. I don't. I think they still haven't read the Gertie text that she put up on the screen. They're like, oh, my God, the worst thing to ever happen.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, I think that, like, Jody was just trying to de escalate and Larsa is kind of like. Like, who is he to try to de escalate when this is between me and Lisa? He should butt out. I think that's what. I don't think that he. You hearing these texts, that this is an accurate representation. Doesn't sound like what he was saying was, like, that bad. But I do understand. It's like, hey, like, this is between me and my co worker at the moment. Okay. And we're trying to have a scene. So, like, get out of it.

[Ronnie Caram]

But she. But the reason he's texting her is because she said in the elevator fight, she was bringing up Miami and saying he was like a cokehead in Miami and, like raging at everybody in Miami or whatever. So that's why I think he's texting.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or Milan or Maya. Milan.

[Ronnie Caram]

Milania.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sorry.

[Ronnie Caram]

The other me.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Lars is like, I've never involved him. Your boyfriend is the one who involved himself when we're in Milan. And then we see a month ago that Lars is saying that. Jody. Jody. Joe. Actually, the kernel of it is that Jody told Larsa that he believes that Larsa set up the photo of Marcus doing coke. So Lisa's like, you're acting like a victim right now. Okay? You're acting like a victim now. Hold on one second. I need to find another notary. Oh, my God. My children.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's a villain. Check. You're just. You're disgusting. Like, like, Alexia, could you, like, tell her to shut up? Because, like, it works when you do it. Like, you're making it worse. Okay? Like, the way you're being right now, you're just going to keep yelling at each other. Okay, don't do that. Don't do that. We all know that's not. Listen, we know if there's a problem, this is how you do it. Let me. Everybody watch the star right now. Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Please, please, please don't ever let me.

[Ronnie Caram]

Be another NAR again. Please. Okay, try it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Victim. She's the victim, okay? Like, oh, this happened to me and that happened to me and this and that and xyz and I have a yeast infection. It's like non stop, like, it's like yeast infection.

[Ronnie Caram]

She goes, yeah, she, like, has a yeast infection.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, sorry about that. I saw you taking notes, by the way. You're taking notes? She's like, yeah, well, I take notes like a student. The names that she's called me. That. She called me a groupie. Can you believe it? And so Stephanie's like, do you take notes about me? Do you talk about my private jet? Do you talk about how wealthy I am? Do you talk about the Shoji group? Do you give us good publicity? Do you give us a good write up or we have a good review?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, not yet. Listen, I take notes because of my divorce. I've learned you got to take notes about everything. I mean, look, here's all the things. She called me a groupie. I forgot. Forgot the other ones. You see, I also said you had a yeast infection about two minutes ago. Ah, hold on. I forgot that. I'm gonna write that down. Hold on. Ease and wait a minute.

[Ben Mandelker]

I made a sick burn about notary private instead of notary public. Oh, okay. Hold on. Let me write that one down. Okay. Hey, that was mean.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Kiki's like, no, you don't. You don't do that when you're having conversations with your friends. And she goes, yeah, it's smart. You guys should all take notes. First of all, why is Lisa getting shit for wanting to take notes? The person you guys should be giving shit to is Yolanda Foster, who taught Erica Jane how to take notes. That's how this all started in Housewives land. And it's also very good advice because Yolanda told Erica to do it because of reunions. You go to the reunion and then suddenly everybody's giving you all this crap and you don't remember what was said. And it was edited a certain, certain way. So Yolanda told her, when you leave the set and there was a fight or something, you need to write it all down so you can remember in the argument. And that's what Erica does. And I think it's very smart. It's very smart housewives behavior.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. The problem is that Lisa's doing it actively in front of them. And I think that's where it feels wrong, because it's like there's like a stenographer right there, like Marisol said last week, one of my sonographer. So I think, like, it's like like, take your notes, but after done shooting or go to the bathroom or something. But if you're sitting there, like, writing down actually on the fly, people get. They get weirded out by that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, too bad. Then Lisa, then Larson should stop being mean. And that's what's going to happen. It's like Shannon Bedor being all abusive and then being shocked that someone would. Would whip out a phone and record it. You guys are on TV in front of cameras, you're constantly being recorded, and now you're going to get mad that somebody's taking notes about it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Larsa's like, can you imagine, like, being friends with someone who's, like, taking notes on you? Like, can you even imagine that? Like, at least take a photo and put it on the gram. But not just notes. Like, it's dangerous.

[Ronnie Caram]

I mean, where Lisa really went wrong is telling them that she was taking notes. Like, why would you do that? You know, just take the notes. You don't need to be telling people what you're. I think Lisa was just so proud that she was spelling things, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, well, I like. Yeah. And. And Alexia saying how it's all. It's. She's like, it's very scary. It's very scary. Solars says, I'm not sitting in a court of law where you have to take notes on our conversations. Can she even spell dumb? Dm, U, B.

[Ronnie Caram]

Stupid. Larsa. I love that. That's the biggest word she could come up with. Could she even spell, like, dumb? So Adriana says, oh, well, she's taking notes to keep it straight. Might not be a bad idea. Oh, you can take mental notes. Like, I've been notes the entire trip.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, there's no difference between a mental note and a written note. It's the same purpose.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't feel like that was a strong. A strong case, so. Because the whole idea, the principle of it is that you're keeping tabs and you're keeping, like, you're keeping score of all this stuff. And they don't like that. But, like, mental. A mental note and a. And a written note, I think are not that different. So Lisa's like, well, when you're in legal stuff, like, I am.

[Ronnie Caram]

This isn't legal, Lisa. This is a group of friends, Lisa. Okay. This is a group of friends. It's not legal.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't do that. Like, yeah. Oh, we're not really friends, actually. Okay. We're not.

[Ronnie Caram]

You don't need to sit across from me then. You can, like, sit over there like that's.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's like, Lars's big move this dinner. Anytime someone annoys her, she. She banishes them to the corner of the table she did to Adriana earlier. If you're gonna cry, like, cry over there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Like, yeah, I couldn't mess. Like, so Gertie's like, oh, my God, they're gonna do this online. Can we have fun? I want to have fun. Let me kiss people. Oh, yeah, you haven't been a great friend like you always say, Larza. Okay? And so Julia starts kissing Marisol, and then she starts trying to change the energy by kissing everybody. You know what? Take your herpes energy over there. Get the out of here with your energy changing. And, like, this. Bad enough I have to listen to people fight. Now I got to get, like, sexually mauled by your creepy goat ass. Get over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that being said, Gertie and Julia did kiss, and Gertie tried to give tongue. So they seem to have been become friends again. Now it's the morning Alexia's FaceTiming. Johnny. She's like, oh, Johnny, I'm sorry. I don't want to make this FaceTime. I want this FaceTime to be all about you. All about you. Can you believe Todd? Todd.

[Ronnie Caram]

Then we go to Gertie and Adrianna going to Lisa, and so Lisa's got boots on, and Adriana's like, come on, let's have fun. I don't know. They're all splitting apart to do their group stuff. And so Alexia, Julia, Stephanie, Larsa, and Marisol go walk through a tilemate neighborhood and talk about how beautiful everything is. And they go meet Paula, the ceramicist. And she goes, have you ever painted on ceramic before? And Alexi goes, no, we haven't even, like, painted, like, on paper.

[Ben Mandelker]

What? Alexia has never painted on paper her entire life. No. I've heard of this concept of painting, but I don't know. Not in front of Frankie. I almost painted and painted, but then Frankie was there. I was like, I don't want to do this in front of Frankie.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Stephanie says, I doodle all the time in meetings. I take notes that say massoud with hearts.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jackson, by the way, my son. My new adopted son Jackson made a Picasso painting on my truck with a rock. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Picasso must have early access to the season. I love that he's just, like, completely up our car. His Picasso painting, I'm not sure. Martinez said it spells word, but if it spells words, it says, you get off show. Don't understand.

[Ben Mandelker]

Martina's like, well, I guess it's Open season. And she starts, like, dipping paint tennis balls and pain, banging them against her truck. What are you doing to my truck? Everyone, it is not canvas.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Alexia tells Mary, so please don't paint what you painted in the room yesterday. That was too much. And she's like, oh, yeah, I was. Male genitalia, guys. It's been a while since I've talked about penises. I paint really good penises, everybody. I love them. So now they all take turns drawing penises. Julia's is horrifying.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's. You know, at first I was like, okay, whatever. Because I think they did this on Potomac once where they all had to, like, draw, like, vaginas or something like that. But Julia's. What was funny is that she was like, what, you think a lesbian cannot draw penis? Let me do it. And she like, it's honestly such an easy shape to do. And, like, hers was some weird bone.

[Ronnie Caram]

It was okay. The. The head of the penis, right, instead of being like a circle or a mushroom, was split into, like, a double headed dragon or something. And I was like, what kind of penis have you been with, girl? You had a double header.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was all strange. And she signed it too. She signed it like, oh, this is very accurate. I will sign it. I am artist now. Like, what? It was so deranged. And honestly, Stephanie's was crazy, too. She did, like, a big old mushroom head. And it looked like. It literally, it looked like an umbrella. I was like.

[Ronnie Caram]

Hers was. Hers was the scariest. Okay. So she had almost a normal looking penis. So it had, like, the head, but then it had these little wings that came out of the side and went from the shaft to the head. And then they had lines on them like dragon wings. Like, it was spreading its wings. I think, what is my suit doing over there? That's one old dick. Okay. That's a lot of foreskin going crazy. Okay. When the foreskin unravels, like wings, you're not supposed to, like, be happy about something's wrong is what I'm saying.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I think it seemed like she had made the mushroom head too mushroomy. So she was trying to, like, now contour it back into. Into the shaft. But now it just looked like it had dragon wings, which was not what I needed to envision for Masood commercials. Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

I just got back in town, and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the grocery store. So I did what I always do. I called my good friend Instacart. Instac. Instacart. Is more than a grocery technology platform. It's a care company designed to make life easier. It connects you to thousands of stores across the US Giving you time back to focus on what matters most.

[Ben Mandelker]

With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have fresh groceries and household essentials ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering some of the things that you love so that you're free to take care of life.

[Ronnie Caram]

Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most.

[Ben Mandelker]

Download the Instacart app and use code CRAPPINS20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code CRAPPINS20 to get$20 off your first order of $80 or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply.

[Ronnie Caram]

You already know we love Virgin Voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's Runway walk.

[Ben Mandelker]

We're talking all inclusive. Everything wi fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes. Everything is included. No hidden fees, no surprise charges.

[Ronnie Caram]

And unlike most of the cast of the Valley, all Virgin voyages trips are 100% kid free. No room for loud toys and crying kids to drown out the sounds of the ocean.

[Ben Mandelker]

The destinations are amazing too. Some highlights, Aruba, St. Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below deck favorite, the Med.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh my God, the boats are beautiful. They're so modern. The rooms are just so luxurious. I love all the colored lighting in there and the balconies.

[Ben Mandelker]

I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences. That makes me so happy.

[Ronnie Caram]

Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages.

[Ben Mandelker]

Learn [e-mail] or contact your travel advisor. So the other group is just walking through Seville, Sevilla, and they're going through all these beautiful old palaces. And Adriana, who has, you know, a degree in art history and is also the resident expert on all things, is basically explaining every single thing that they walk around and through.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And so she's like, the name Alcazar comes from Arabic, which means the fortress. Gertie's like, oh, we've got our own private Inspector Gadget over here. Inspector Gadget has agreed to marry the Alcazar. Okay. Has agreed to marry the Alcazar.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. She's the jack of all trades, Ms. Inspector Gadget, which I love because Inspector Gadget has nothing to do with like art history or like having an awareness of, you know, Sevilla or like what's.

[Ronnie Caram]

At her outfit that she Was wearing. Was she wearing, like, a trench coat or something?

[Ben Mandelker]

She was wearing, like, a little hat and drench coat. So she called her Inspector Gadget, which was just so funny to me.

[Ronnie Caram]

So the gold leaf ceiling and everything. And she's like, this was the place of birth of Maria de Bourbon. Okay? She was a queen. And they're like, oh, my God. So we hear about Adriana. She's like, I've traveled to 58 different countries. I lived in Paris and studied our history. I also lived in Florence. I studied Italian art and then Rome. And this is why what I'm about to be like, place. This is why I'm able to be in places like this and understand. Listen, I've been to a lot of places, too, and guess what? I know dick. I don't know shit. Okay? So good. Good on you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. So then back over by the tiles, Stephanie turns to Larsa and goes, larsa, I want to make sure you're comfortable. Do you want Lisa to be invited on the plane? Because I want to make sure you're happy. Now, this is a trap. This is the. Because the thing is this. It was not even on the table. They were just all going to go on a plane. Whether they were fighting or not, they're all going to go on a plane. Stephanie has now created a situation where it's like, oh, there's an option that we can exclude Lisa. So she is doing this truly as a power play so she can disinvite Lisa.

[Ronnie Caram]

I believe she's doing it over and over. She's playing the same card over and over. She just did it on the way here. Only some of you can come on my plane because it's, like, too small for everybody for a long trip. So I'm going to pick my favorites. And then she tried. She pulled that. And then she tried to say, oh, Mari, sold. You want to come without a leg? Alexia. Oh, Alexia, do you want to come without Marisol? And then that failed. So now she's gonna do it again. This girl is a horrible, horrible human being.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. She's also a brat. So Lars is like, I was shaking so bad yesterday. Like, I don't know if I want to be on the same plane as her. Yeah, but she wasn't violent and she wasn't like, there's no reason why you should feel uncomfortable. You can be annoyed at her, but not uncomfortable. Not enough to exclude her and enforce a mass inconvenience and expensive inconvenience, too. I mean, it's so obnoxious that she's now pulling the card that she's uncomfortable around Lisa. So Julia's like, well, there is nothing. There is something more about my friend Derek that I didn't tell you. Why it's so important for me to go. Because we are going to ask Derek and gay husband to be good parents. And they're like, oh. And I don't think anyone truly cares, but they're like, that's. That's so sweet.

[Ronnie Caram]

So very important for me to have the boys have male figures in their life who are hours and hours away and will never see boys. So it is extremely important that Martina is not the only decrepit person in this relationship with the word family. So now we are going to have Godparents that are 90.

[Ben Mandelker]

That Martina is just too feminine for these boys.

[Ronnie Caram]

I worry that Martina want to be around to take care of the boys. I'm picking people 20 years even older. What the hell?

[Ben Mandelker]

Old, old gay men in a far away country. So. So anyways, she's saying this to be. To sort of set the stage that, like, this is going to be an important and beautiful moment. And you saw how I lost my mind over just a simple zoom call. So people better be on their. On their best behavior. So now we go back to the others.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yes. Another way to manipulate getting Lisa out of there. Because now we have to worry about her babies. And also, I don't think that she's fully adopted those kids yet. I think that they're still waiting on the adoption to be final. Are you supposed to be giving godparents to kids that aren't your kids yet? What the hell? Their rules on this are confusing the hell out of me. I'm not really sure what's going on here, but, I mean, I guess maybe they'll get a gift or something from the guys. So go for it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don't know. Get them a gift they deserve so they could. Yeah, the kids can get a gift. AKA a kit that will take the scratches out of a truck.

[Ronnie Caram]

So otherwise known as money from a gay man. Why did you accept money from a gay man? It's gonna be like their first reunion on the Valley. Michelle will be there. Why did you accept money from a gay man? To pay your bill.

[Ben Mandelker]

To pay your bills. So Alexia wants. So Alexa wants Julia to talk to Lisa because she doesn't want Julia. She's like, I don't want you to not invite Lisa. Basically she's like, give her a warning. And Stephanie says, Lisa gets away with anything in this group. She's been friends with them for a really long time. And they have learned to just accept the way she is and continue to allow her to be a destructive way, which I think is actually correct. I think they have just gotten used to it. It's kind of like what you were saying before. Just accept her for who she is. But like they're accepting really unacceptable behavior, honestly. But it's not behavior that would make you feel uncomfortable where you couldn't get onto a plane with her.

[Ronnie Caram]

I mean, I don't know, I just can't. I mean, I, I, look, I. Obviously I don't agree. I just think that Lisa's an asshole. I just think that they're being so mean to Lisa. I really do. I think they're just being jerks. And when Stephanie says this, when she goes, you know what, she's been friends with them for a really long time and they've just learned to accept her. Well, yeah, that's called friendship, Stephanie. I know you don't have any of those, but that's how it is. You don't just like kick people off of planes and kick people out of your life and stop talking to every sister you've ever had and then cause problems between your mom and your sister. So they're not speaking. That's not what friendship and love is. You know, you have people, the only normal. Listen, it's like Meemaw says, the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. Everyone's got something. You're going to have to learn to deal with fucking something with everybody. Just try and make Lisa on time and if not, leave her. But you're new here and you don't get to come into a 10 year relationship and start telling people that they need to all band together to kick people off that you don't like Austin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that's a separate issue. That's a separate issue. I think that Lisa is, does act like a spoiled brat. And I think they have just gotten all used to it because it's easier just to be.

[Ronnie Caram]

They all act like spoiled brats though. That's the thing, like on this doesn't act like an. Alexi is making everything about her her and Todd. She makes her best friend coming into town. She has a party for him, makes it all about Todd and sobs the entire time. Marisol has a wedding every five minutes to get attention. Larza is always dating some star and doing only fans to get attention. They're all psychopaths on this show. They're all crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

They are. But only one of Them makes them wait an hour or.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's true. I can't say that that's okay to make her wait. I won't say.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm not saying that they're. I'm not. Not. I'm. I'm not. I think you should accept your friends. Personalities maybe as they are, but when it's their behaviors and their actions are the things that are the problem, like in. In terms of impacting group. That's not acceptable.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm not saying it's acceptable. I'm saying this new girl has no right.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's a whole other issue. That's a whole other issue. I'm fine with that. I'm meaning. I'm fine with your argument on that. I'm just saying let's not make it that Lisa is somebody. Angel. Some angel. Okay? Let's not say that Monk over here. All right? Monkey's not some angel who's like the victim of like, these. This gang up here. She's creating her own issues.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay? I agree.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stephanie has her own. Stephanie is her own idiot.

[Ronnie Caram]

Lisa has behaviors. And I wouldn't sit around and wait for her for two minutes like they do. And I've said that Adriana says, as.

[Ben Mandelker]

Adriana says, there are two issues here. And that's. That's the thing. Lisa being late over and over and over again should be called out and should be shamed. And by late, like really late. Like really, really late. And Stephanie, you brandishing her plane like. Like a weapon. Like me giving out Jolly Ranchers in the back of the school bus in fourth grade just to make friends. That is also shitty and stupid as well. And they. They can coexist.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

By the way, that was not an art for anyone who's wondering who's listening at home. That was not an awkward silence. Ronnie was just sipping.

[Ronnie Caram]

No, I was drinking. I was taking a nice, big thirsty go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God. They're fighting. They're fighting, right?

[Ronnie Caram]

No, no, no, it's not fighting. I just. I just. Ultimately, I really like Lisa. And I think. I think the way that they're dealing with her now is better than they've ever dealt with her, which is just leaving. She's not gonna make the flight. Fine. She has to go.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what it should have been.

[Ronnie Caram]

She doesn't want to go to dinner on time. Fine. They just leave, and then she shows up late. I just don't understand why they're doing that. And now they're so mad. It's like Lisa comes to. To dinner two hours late. Yes. Is it rude? Sure. And saying, Lisa, you're rude, I guess, is totally fine. But ultimately, like, why be so mad? It's just. It just seems like a waste of time to me. But you know what? I also understand that I'm repeating myself over and over again. And I don't need to do that either. See, I'm becoming crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I want to address. I want to address something. I do think that their fury at Lisa having to deal with a notary at dinner feels a little manufactured. Not manufactured, but like, that. There's no reason for them to be mad at her about that. She got a call that she has to deal with a notary. I mean, does she make it everyone's business? Yes. Should you just step away and deal with it? Sure. But I don't think it's the end of the world. Larsa. That was Larsa of being an asshole. Making that like. Like the biggest drama in the world. But. And I agree. I think that, like, rather than Stephanie having this whole drama ball, she's not invited because she's gonna. Like, she's gonna. Whatever this Jetti kid is, she's gonna violate it. If Lisa is late to the plane. Lisa's late to the plane and she will have to make her own way to Marbella. But I don't think there has to be any more thought than that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, and then her blaming everything, her being like, oh, you want to make excuses for her. It's been years where you've given her chances to be late and disrespect you. And she's also come in and ruined the environment, which is. Her pronunciation of stuff is fine.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's ruined it. She's. You know what? You know what? She's going to bury this entire trip with how. With all the things that she's ruined from it. She's going to bury it with ruined.

[Ronnie Caram]

Accusing her of ruining the environment is silly when Larsa is the one having a fit and stalking off and getting up and leaving dinner and telling everybody to shut up and telling Adriana to shut up. It's like, it's fine for Larsa because she's your friend, but you're not calling her out like, you call everybody else out, so be fair, Stephanie. Not that I would expect that from you, but come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now, given the option, I don't want to be on a plane with her. Like, I don't want to be in a car with her. Like, I don't want to be in a train with her. Like, I don't want to Be on a tram with with her. Like, I don't want to be on a tandem bike with her. Like, I don't want to be on a skateboard with her. Like, I don't want to be on anything with her. Like, okay, well, you know what? The good news is the plane ride is only 22 minutes. So that's the good news. Everyone is. She's saying, the good news is you guys can all deal because it's only 22 minutes. Or she's saying, the good news is it'll be easy for Lisa because it's only 22 minutes. Not that inconvenient.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, she's just saying you only have to deal with her 22 minute. Shut up. So Stephanie is like, everyone knows there's such a thing as jettiquette. It's etiquette on a jet. For those of you who didn't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

But Lisa always figure out the pun.

[Ronnie Caram]

And I already think that. Rule number one of Jedi Kit. She's gonna break it. And who wants bad vibes in the sky? Nobody. I'm gonna kick her off for being possibly late to a plane.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, Potentially late. So Larsa's like, I'm in a situation. You're in a situation where you're with someone that's taking notes and saying them to someone who doesn't give a about you guys. Like, wait, who's she sending the notes to? Jody? Is that what she's saying? Alexa's like, you know, something's going on with her. You know, Lisa was never like this. It's like, I don't know. She, like, going through a divorce or something. Like, something's going on with her.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's crazy. You know, Lisa would never take a note. This is, like, crazy. Like, she never even took him in school. That's why she got in trouble. And Marisol says she's thinking more now or something. I mean, all time. The. The wheels are spinning. I mean, it's disgusting. Who needs a thinking Lisa? This is terrible. This is where evolution goes wrong, okay? People like Lisa weren't meant to think.

[Ben Mandelker]

Monkey, okay, the expression is monkey see, monkey do, not monkey see, monkey think.

[Ronnie Caram]

We've all seen what happens when monkeys start to think. I saw Planet of the Apes. James Franco is dead. He's dead now.

[Ben Mandelker]

What would happen if Lisa takes over this planet? It would be terrible. We gotta get her to stop thinking.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't want to get sued. I like my money. And Lars is like, well, that's what I'm like. See? Like. Like, I don't Want to, like, be on the plane with her leg. I'm not willing to lose anything for someone else's, like, situation. Like, and, like, I think you can all, like, agree to, like, that. Like, okay, now you guys are making it that they're suing you. No one is suing you. She's saying that you called her name so she can remember to call you out at the reunion for all the names you called her. Okay. And we've seen Lisa at reunions, and we see why she needs to take notes, because Lisa, the reunion will be like, you were mean to me. How that time you did that.

[Ben Mandelker]

So other group, Lisa's saying, this is the first time I've been on a trip. Okay. This is the first time on the trip, this whole trip that I've been in the moment. I have had so much personal stuff going on. And I have to say, like, the lawsuits have, like, taken up so much of my time. I'm like, are you really in the moment? Because you're talking about the lawsuits actively right now while you're talking about you're in the moment.

[Ronnie Caram]

Do you know how hard it was being in Bali with lawyers? It was so difficult. It was the hardest vacation I've ever been on. I haven't had a break.

[Ben Mandelker]

Guys, guys, Logan has been asking us to fix the relationship, and I just feel like I'm crumbling. So Kiki's like, well, I don't feel like it's okay for somebody's boyfriend to be calling another person in the group. She's like, well, she started it. I mean, she literally said his name, so it was about him. So, yes, I told him. And Kiki's like saying, you know, it's bad enough that Jodie's taxing the women, but it's the amount of Texas's and that just. It's not right. So, Lisa, how do you say it? Texts.

[Ronnie Caram]

Me too.

[Ben Mandelker]

I say texts, not textases. But, like, the women on the show have been saying Texas. Texas. Texts that pops up every now and then.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, people say it differently. Housewives especially, say texties, I think. Or Texas.

[Ben Mandelker]

Texas.

[Ronnie Caram]

Texas.

[Ben Mandelker]

Texas. Texas. That's what they say. It's kind of like Texas, but Texas.

[Ronnie Caram]

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch. What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

[Ronnie Caram]

Our way is The Amber Way it's.

[Ben Mandelker]

The Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt she's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call It's Diane Call Aaron mcnicholas She.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don'T miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.

[Ronnie Caram]

Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica.

[Ben Mandelker]

Trotch she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie Caram]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be Will Lauren Sills be bringing the funk?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Leslie Plunkett she gets a name.

[Ronnie Caram]

From us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie Caram]

I love Aya Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell It's Raquel, yes we can. It's Savannah Cast a single spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie Caram]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy and our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie Caram]

We'Re taking the gold With Brenda Silva.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let'S get real With Caitlin o' Neal.

[Ronnie Caram]

Don'T get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland let's go into the.

[Ronnie Caram]

Woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick stick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy Always killing it It's Lola Al.

[Ronnie Caram]

Kalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud, neat. It's Ronit Feldman.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Ronnie Caram]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah telling of Sun Shannon out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Of a Cannon Anthony, please don't stop at Soly and Pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plane.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Coutar.

[Ronnie Caram]

We love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wonder it's your man Nick Cannon and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've heard y' all been needing some.

[Ronnie Caram]

Advice in the love department, so who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy. And you know what? You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at Night or subscribe on the Wondery app or you get your podcast. Want to watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery plus right now.