Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens – Below Deck S12E13: Derby or Not Derby

Episode: #2981
Date: August 26, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dive into "Below Deck" Season 12, Episode 13: "Derby or Not Derby." The discussion is filled with their signature playful banter, sharp observations, and critiques of the cast's messy antics. The hosts dissect crew drama, interpersonal conflicts, and themes of accountability, all set against a charter themed around the Kentucky Derby and a poignant guest cancer storyline.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap of Recent Appearances & Crossover Episodes

• (03:46–04:20): Ben and Ronnie highlight upcoming recaps (including Love Island's reunion and McBee Dynasty) and share excitement about their guest spots on podcasts such as Two Judgy Girls and Rachel Lindsay's Morally Corrupt.
• Ronnie: “Those Judgy Girls are classy…They sent a thank you thing, which we never do…They sent me Two Judgy Girls hats…” (06:34)

2. Early Banter: Tipping Culture and Hospitality

• (08:30–11:28): The hosts riff, in true Crappens spirit, over the expanding culture of tipping in America, with Ben questioning where the line is and Ronnie voicing mild boomer/Gen-X outrage.
  • Ronnie: "Now the restaurant wants a tip on top of the waiter tip? Go fuck yourself. Okay, this is getting out of control." (10:08)
  • Ben: “I tip the things that are classically tips…Like if you get takeout…” (11:28)

3. Crew Drama & Consequences of Their Actions

• Kyle’s Downward Spiral
  • (12:30–14:26): Kyle’s self-destructive behavior, excessive drinking, and tension with Fraser are examined. Rainbow pulls Kyle aside, warns him, and the hosts lambaste his "victim" narrative.
    • Ben: “You can’t act like an asshole…then act like a victim afterwards and say, ‘Oh wow, now Fraser’s pissed at me.’” (18:36)
• Jess and Fraser
  • (07:50–08:32): Jess faces the fallout of her messy crew hookups, alternative explanations for her actions (family cancer), and Fraser’s attempts at leadership.

4. The Rainbow/Damo/Dating Disasters

• Rainbow & Damo Kiss
  • (14:26–15:12): The hosts roast Damo’s “crispy tuna” energy, likening him to an appetizer no one wants.
    • Ronnie: “Damo’s the last crispy tuna…right now you’re really slimy and gross. And I’m just in it for the rice.” (14:29)
• Crew Makeouts Overload
  • (25:35–26:10): Both hosts express exhaustion at the surplus of crew romantic entanglements rather than yachting drama.
    • Ben: “I’m just sick of honestly Below Deck ogling at all these people making out…Let’s center the Windex. Let’s center the bad work ethic…” (26:01)

5. Rainbow vs. Celine: Tattling and Tension

• Workplace Grievances
  • (34:07–36:32): Rainbow/Fraser/Ben/crew all frustrated with Celine’s lack of work ethic, leading Rainbow to be an unapologetic tattletale—much to the co-hosts’ amusement.
    • Ronnie: “I don’t think anybody’s gonna give Celine worker of the year…It’s just funny watching Rainbow get so mad.” (36:20)

6. The Charter Guest: Cancer Survivor & Emotional Trigger

• (46:05–47:03): The primary guest, Emily, is celebrated for finishing chemo, which triggers strong emotions for Jess due to the loss of her grandparents to cancer.
  • Ben: “Jess tells a story about how…she lost them both to cancer. And…it was really rough stuff for her.” (46:33)
  • Ronnie: “Cancer is a real dick. My God. In a show where we like to make lots of jokes, I think everybody has been touched by cancer…and don’t love it.” (46:47)
• Hosts’ Commentary
  • Both Ben and Ronnie discuss how the show handles the guest’s battle with cancer and how Jess’s emotions might be less about trauma and more about feeling guilt from her actions.
    • Ben: “I think that’s really what’s motivating this…she likes to just do her thing. I think that’s what it is.” (54:52)
    • Ronnie: “[It’s] easier to be like, ‘Well, I’m crying for this other reason…I’m gonna use this other thing.’” (55:53)

7. Kentucky Derby Theme & Yacht Technicals

• (41:10–44:24): Preparation for a Kentucky Derby-themed charter is underway, along with stress over “Med Mooring,” a high-stakes yachting maneuver.
  • Ben: “They had a choice between going to the Kentucky Derby or going to a yacht and recreate the Kentucky Derby. So here we are having a stupid theme.” (41:10)

8. The Anchor Drama and Jess’s Meltdown

• (61:22–63:48): Jess mishandles the anchor, leading to a near-disaster, and is pulled aside by Captain Kerry for a firm but caring talk.
  • Ben (as Captain): “I’m doing something I don’t normally have to do. I’m gonna talk to this little lady in person…you balled it up.” (62:29)
  • Jess, emotionally: "I just think the whole guest of the chemo thing...it's hurting, it's hitting home a little bit. I don't think my head's been there." (63:48)

9. Interior Crew Explosion: Rainbow vs. Celine

• Climactic Confrontation
  • (77:10–79:13): Rainbow and Celine clash in the late-night pantry, trading barbs and escalating tension. Rainbow physically restrains herself, referencing childhood violence with her sisters.
    • Rainbow: “Do you ever think that when you hurt yourself, this is karma? Just. Only a baby. Just. Yeah. So, you know, because you over your teammates every day, that’s fine. Whoa.” (77:44)
    • Celine: "Nice conversation, vagina bush." (79:13)
    • The hosts crack up over “beast of vagina bush,” a phrase lost in translation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can’t act like an asshole and then act like a victim afterwards… Like, I’m not going to feel sad for you.” – Ben (18:36)
• “Damo’s the last crispy tuna…right now, you’re really slimy and gross.” – Ronnie (14:29)
• “Let’s center the Windex. Let’s center the bad work ethic. Let’s center, like, the rags…” – Ben (26:01)
• “How is Vegemite not caught on everywhere? That’s my question. Let me tell you who the real failure is here today, Jess. Besides you. I mean you. But the biggest failure here, Vegemite.” – Ronnie (64:32)
• “I want my own M&Ms.” – Ben, after hearing about podcast guest gifts (07:23)
• “She is the worst kind of person. She is the worst person you could ever imagine… I don’t have any part of me that has any hate.” – Ben, channeling Rainbow (68:13–68:56)
• “Beast of vagina bush.” – Rainbow/Celine, causing laughter at bizarre insults (78:15–78:20)

Important Timestamps

• 08:30 – Deep-dive into tipping culture rant
• 12:30–14:26 – Kyle’s drinking and confrontation with Rainbow
• 25:35–26:10 – Hosts’ exhaustion over crew makeouts
• 34:07–36:32 – Rainbow tattles on Celine to Fraser
• 46:05–47:03 – Introduction of cancer survivor charter guest and Jess’s emotional connection
• 61:22–63:48 – Jess mishandles anchor; Captain Kerry’s intervention
• 77:10–79:13 – Rainbow and Celine’s explosive fight

Tone & Language

• Tone: Irreverent, playful, and deeply Bravo-obsessed. Hosts balance genuine emotional insights with snark and over-the-top dramatization mirroring “Below Deck.”
• Language: Largely informal; loaded with witty analogies, impression-heavy skits, and classic Crappens improv.

Episode Flow

1. Intro/Appreciation for Guests on Other Pods
2. Below Deck Recap Begins: Tipping Tangent
3. Crew Mess: Kyle’s Downfall, Jess & Fraser's Leadership
4. Food Analogies & Appetizer Banter
5. Romantic Plotlines: Overload and Cynicism
6. Cancer Survivor Guest Story & Emotional Impact
7. Workplace Politics & Snitching
8. Technical Yachting Mishaps
9. Kitchen, Charter Events, & Dinner Service
10. Explosive Interpersonal Blow-Up
11. End with Signature Sponsors Rollcall

For Newcomers

This summary covers the heart of the episode while skipping over ads/marketing, sponsor shoutouts or non-content sections. Ben and Ronnie’s comedic take on "Below Deck" S12E13 provides laughs, Bravo insights, and scathing (but affectionate) commentary on the crew’s ridiculous antics, the recurring theme of “consequences,” and, as always, plenty of shade for the messiest yachties on Bravo.