#2983 McBee Dynasty S02E09: Networkin’ at the Car Wash, Girl

Summary

Watch What Crappens #2983: McBee Dynasty S02E09 – "Networkin’ at the Car Wash, Girl"

Date: August 27, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

This episode of Watch What Crappens focuses on the penultimate episode of McBee Dynasty Season 2, reveling in the absurdities, emotional breakdowns, prenup drama, and—most importantly—the rural Kansas car wash soft-opening as interpreted through the hosts' hilariously irreverent Bravo-loving lens. Ben and Ronnie tear through the week’s best (and worst) moments, dissecting relationships, family power struggles, and the ongoing tendency of the McBees to fail upwards—all while keeping their trademark quick wit, banter, and Bravo-adjacent references at full blast.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jesse’s Emotional Arc & Anxiety (04:09–11:41)

• Jesse’s Vulnerability: Ronnie expresses affection for Jesse, who admits to having panic attacks amidst wedding prep and family pressure.

  “He just does the right thing. You’re so cute. I wonder what’s under that hat…” – Ronnie (04:09)

• Ally’s Response: Ben and Ronnie mock Ally’s stiff-lipped, unsympathetic reaction to Jesse’s breakdown, noting the McBee family’s general inability to process emotions.

  “Look at my face—what is my face saying right now? It looks like you smell a fart.” – Ronnie, impersonating Ally (08:32)

• The Sacrifices: Ben riffs on Ally’s sacrifices and looming resentments as she prepares to abandon her life for the farm.

  "All I'm doing is sacrificing my friends, family, social life and job to come live on a remote farm." – Ben (09:11)

• Prenup Pressure: The hosts note the real issue is Jesse’s fear of standing up to his brothers and father about refusing a prenup.

  “He’s terrified of telling his dad he’s not going to sign a prenup…” – Ronnie (11:41)

2. The McBee Family’s Dysfunctional Dynamics (06:35–07:54, 15:08–17:59)

• Generational Money Melodrama: The hosts rail against McBee men’s belief that women are out to steal the farm, mocking their fixation on prenups and meager assets.

  “You think your wife wants 12% of your prison sentence, you losers.” – Ronnie (07:17)

• Ineptitude & Inside Jokes: Ronnie and Ben riff about the brothers’ inability to even build a simple wedding arbor (“hexagon”), making fun of their farm skills and construction degrees.

  “You have a degree in construction management and you can’t build a hexagon?” – Ronnie (16:01)

3. Wedding Preparations & Tastings (27:09–33:34)

• Food Tasting Farce: Jesse’s refusal to eat bruschetta because “it has vegetables” kicks off a classic Ben and Ronnie tangent on McBee food aversions and Jesse’s general adorableness.

  “Really? That’s a shame, because I would love to watch you eat.” – Ronnie (31:22)

• Design Decisions & Gender Roles: Laughter ensues about Ally caring about tablescapes while Jesse finds an excuse to leave and tends to a car wash; they highlight the low stakes for male involvement.

  “Do you really want Jesse to have design input on your napkins and your forks? I don’t think so.” – Ben (32:57)

• Christy’s Prenup Stance: Jesse’s mom is staunchly against a prenup, reinforcing that it is the men who financially wrong their wives in this family.

  “I cannot believe I raised boys to do this in any way. In this family, it’s the men who steal the money from the women anyway.” – Ronnie (35:15–35:36)

4. Car Wash Grand Opening & Chamber of Commerce Drama (50:07–62:42)

• Galina vs. Masha Rivalry: The car wash ribbon-cutting is the stage for a riotous confrontation between Galina and Masha, with lines blurred between business networking and wild reality TV feuding.

  “Prostitute is here. What are you doing here? I built it. This place. What do you mean, what am I doing?” – Galina, as quoted by Ronnie (61:10)

• Daughter Dynamics: Galina’s daughter, Erina, is the Bravo-plant, mortified by her mother’s antics and forced to police the volume and venom of Russian shade thrown in public.

  “Mom, stop. You’re literally talking to an investor or car.” – Ben, as Erina (61:10)

• Physical Comedy: Hilarious sidebars about remote-control pugs in tiny cars (53:01, 61:51) serve as comic relief amidst the chaos.

5. The Prenup Showdown & Jesse’s Stand (70:15–73:42)

• Family Ultimatum: Steven and the brothers attempt another prenup intervention right before the wedding—demanding Jesse prevent Ally from “taking” 12.5% of their debt.

  “Ellie stands to take 12.5% of $18 trillion in debt. And you know what? We cannot have that.” – Ronnie (70:38)

• Jesse Refuses: In a surprise to the hosts, Jesse puts his foot down and refuses to do the prenup for the sake of his relationship—a rare act of boundary-setting in the McBee universe.

  “I just hate to use that as the reason for signing a prenup… it’s not a good idea for the sake of our relationship… it’s really best for her and I that we don’t do that.” – Ben, as Jesse (72:09) “Well, it’s not good for the rest of us.” – Ben, as Steven
  “Well, then too fucking bad.” – Ronnie (73:04)

• Hosts’ Delight: Both Ben and Ronnie express real satisfaction and surprise at Jesse’s stand:

  “This scene shocked me. And I was so happy with this scene…” – Ronnie (72:28)

6. Episode Closer: Teasers, Banter, and Bravo Love (73:42–74:55)

• Season Finale Tease: Ben and Ronnie anticipate the big wedding episode, with the real hook being Galina possibly getting a DUI on the way there:

  “Finally, something that does not seem staged to me. Yes. Let’s do it.” – Ben (74:08)

• Affectionate Mockery: The episode closes with more Jesse love and signature end-of-podcast sponsor banter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Remember that time I said I was gonna bring that guy beer and I brought him root beer?” – Ben, mocking rural life/low stakes (05:12)
• “I want to make sure I’m the best wife for you and we’re going to have the best marriage and things like that.” – Ronnie, skewering Ally’s wedding earnestness (09:34)
• “Why you want to get married under a stop sign? Don’t you have enough signs saying you shouldn’t get married?” – Ben on the hexagon arbor (16:35)
• “I mean, I guess I’m largely on Ally’s side because I’m generally always anti McBee." – Ben (10:05)
• “I saw a guy standing having a Sodi pop and he didn’t even have lips enough to use a straw. And I thought, you know what? I want that man to father my children.” – Ben, joking about Christy’s tastes (26:55)
• “Anything with wash in the title? No.” – Ronnie on trusting the family with a car wash (48:38)
• “Whoever made that sign is quite a marketing genius, would you not?” – Ben, riffing as Masha at the car wash (60:38)
• “Party. Har har.” – Ben, marking the awkward Russian showdown (62:42)
• “The sexiest thing in the world? Inertia. Let’s lean into it, baby.” – Ben’s sarcastic spin on Jesse’s inertia (33:34)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Jesse’s Mental Health & Prenup Anxiety: 04:09–11:41
• Wedding Arbor / McBee Ineptitude: 15:08–17:59
• Tasting Scene: 27:09–33:34
• Car Wash Opening & Russian Showdown: 50:07–62:42
• Prenup Showdown & Jesse’s Stand: 70:15–73:42
• Season Finale Promo & Outro: 73:42–74:55

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Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie masterfully lampoon McBee Dynasty’s unique blend of rural dysfunction, Bravo-wannabe drama, and car wash capitalism, all while rooting for unlikely hero Jesse and reveling in every awkward, indignant, and explosive moment. Their playful impressions, razor-sharp commentary, and endless quotables make this recap a must-listen for fans—and this summary your go-to for all things soybeans, prenups, and Kansas car wash royalty.

Transcript

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Oh well hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me Today, Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[B]

So good. How's it going over there with you, baby?

[A]

Just fabulous. Just absolutely fabulous. Having a great week over here. Everyone go check out the podcast that we've been on recently to judge Girls morally corrupt with Rachel Lindsay and keep it, which I think is actually not out until Thursday. And Today we're talking McBee dynasty. Also come join us on Patreon. Patreon.com watch what crappens we do. Crap is on demand where we have video. You can watch us on video, which is always fun. And then also we do a weekly bonus episode. This week's bonus will be Love island reunion. Wish us luck. It was, it was, it was a very long reunion. Very long uninterrupted reunion. But. But it was also very fun reunion. We got to see. I've never seen so many people get moved around a set as that reunion. I mean, people were in different seats every three seconds. They were constantly. It was like a. It was like some weird Tetris game that they were playing on there. So we will be talking about that on our Patreon exclusively. So that'[e-mail] watch for crappens. But other than that, Ronnie, anything else you have to share, anything you want to say, anything you want to feel, anything you want to emote.

[B]

I feel nothing. Nope. I'm just glad to be here. And I was really happy with this episode of McBee because my man Jesse came through. He came through. Jesse, I love you so much. I just love you. I think you just do the right thing. You're so cute. I do want to know what's under that hat. Somebody sent us a message saying, what's under his hat? Why don't we ever see his head? And I think that that's true. I don't think ever seen his head. Even when he's not in the cowboy hat, he'll wear like a skully or a baseball cap or something. Have we ever seen this hand?

[A]

Maybe. I'm not sure. I thought like he took it off at one point. I'm not sure. This was by far the best episode of the season for me, mainly because it ended with next week on the season finale. And I was like, ah, great, great.

[B]

I'm so upset. I hope they do like a 10 part reunion.

[A]

Oh God, yeah, it'll be a reunion. It'll be like Cole sitting next to a pile of soybeans talking about their relationship.

[B]

Remember that time I said I was gonna bring that guy beer and I Brought him root beer.

[A]

Tessa, walk us through. Walk us through. The fonts you chose for the gender revealed. Have that your first time using Microsoft art? Whatever it was. Print shop. Previously. Last we saw in a McBee dynasty, the McBees were racing against the clock, cutting soybeans day and night so the.

[B]

Firm can say your flirt combines combines. And Galena couldn't strike that Masha curse. You killed my chickens. You ruined my car. Do you live in your own world? Do you live in your own freaking world, you stupid.

[A]

Well, I wish her all the luck in the world. And as for Jizzy Boy, that poor little boy got a serious case of corvine. And no wonder, because that poor little boy got brewed up over dear Earned. He got a prenup word dribble door. If he don't. If he don't sign that bring up, she may get full possession of the criminal door.

[B]

She might own 12% of dribble door action. That ain't gonna do it.

[A]

We're gonna have to cut that dribble door in half like King David and give half of it to her and half of it to King Solomon. How'd that go again, that story?

[B]

Yeah, you know all the rumors about McBee Dynasty, or I should say stories. You know, the mom was the one with all the money. Like, she was from a family with all this money and the husband was cheating on her and doing. You know. We know how the husband is. That piece of shit, Steven Sr. And then ended up draining all their accounts and st. He left her. So he's the one worried and saying, oh, women steal everything. Women want to steal your soul. When he was the one who did that. What a piece of. And what a piece of. All these little guys are running around acting like that's totally normal. And women are trying to rob them of everything. What are they trying to rob you of? The nothing that you have. You think you. Your wife wants 12% of your prison sentence, you losers.

[A]

Yeah, like, I don't. Yeah, I don't think these women are scrounging around or, like, really excited to. To take a claim of Cole's dirty Haynes underwear. So Cole's Pino dust.

[B]

Get the out of here.

[A]

Yeah, seriously. Oh, like, God forbid. Like, well, watch out for Ally. She's going to take the combine and drive her through the mean streets of Kansas City.

[B]

Meanwhile, you've got someone with an actual career Ally. And they're like, oh, what's she gonna steal from us? I was like, well, I'm sure you don't have Any books for her to steal or something she would actually find interesting. You know, she's already got more intelligence than all of you put together.

[A]

Things that she won't be stealing from the McBee Estate deodorant because there is none on your time subscription Pubic hair.

[B]

Trimmers because I know you all got freaking seven removers.

[A]

Nose.

[B]

Nose hair trimmers. So Jesse and Allie, okay, so where you left off last week, Jesse's like, I have to talk about my feelings. I got a nervous breakdown or something. And Allie's like, gross. Okay, so we go back to that and he's still on the bed, like kind of wiping his eyes, like he's crying. And he's like, I just don't know if I can do this anymore. And she's like, well, I wish I knew you were feeling this way because you could come to me with this kind of things. But like, look at my face right now. Look how sympathetic it is. Okay, what is my face saying right now? It looks like you smell a fart. Yeah. So I just. Please feel free to come to me, you know, because it's scary. Like our parents marriages didn't work out and now we've got all these people saying like, high school sweethearts don't work out. I mean, it's a lot of pressure.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I think that we're going to work out because all I'm doing is sacrificing my friends, family, social life and job to come live on a remote farm. And I surely won't have any sort of resentments and wonder if there was another world out there besides the one man I've ever been with for the past 12 years. It'll work out great, Jesse. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's not going to be great. And he's. She's like, well, you know, I want to make sure I'm the best wife for you and we're going to have the best marriage and things like that.

[A]

Too late.

[B]

Yeah. So she cries to the producer and she's like, I mean, I appreciate him being strong for me, but you know, I want him to come with me with things. So I'm trying to be strong for him so he knows he can come to me. But God damn, he's such a wuss when he's crying. I can't marry wuss.

[A]

I mean, I guess I'm largely on Ally's side because I'm generally always anti McBee. But I also don't like that. Jesse's like, I guess I have one of these queer things. Called an anxiety attack. And she's like, well, I just, like, wish that, like, I knew that you were feeling this way, because it's like. It's like, I hate when people do that. Like, okay, I know that you almost had a heart attack on your fucking combine because you're going through such anguish right now. But, like, I wish I would have known. It's like, just let the man, like, have like, the one moment that you will ever see in the rest of your life where he's trying to be emotionally honest with you. Don't let me stand up for a McBee. Okay?

[B]

But, you know, like, he should be. You should be able to go to your partner and be like, this is how I feel. But this family is just so dead inside. They don't feel anything. And this poor guy is, like, walking around telling everyone, like, I think I'm having panic attacks. And they're like, well, maybe it's because you're getting married to a woman who's gonna steal from you. So here's what you need to do. You need to get her to sign a prenup before she steals everything. Like, you're not helping family. None of you are helping.

[A]

I mean, she's like, oh, there's high expectations, but I. I am excited and ready to marry you. For your own sanity, though, is postponing the wedding something that would be, like, helpful right now? Should we postpone it? I think we should postpone it. Because, you know what? There's actually a triathlon I really want to do on our wedding day. Let's just, you know, how about this? How about I move back to Kansas City, you work on the farm, and we just were like, peter out. How about that? He's like, I don't think I would do anything because I'm Jesse. I don't make decisions. I just float along. I want you to be excited and happy for it, and I want to just live a life of resentment. So I think it's going to be a great day.

[B]

I think he's not even worried about marrying her. I think he's worried about standing up to his brothers about the prenup because he's so used to doing whatever they want to do. He's terrified of telling his dad he's not going to sign a prenup and his brothers. And I think that's all the stress.

[A]

I think that, like, he just really resents Ally because she's always doing the triathlons, mainly because she's doing an activity that involves the word try as in something that these McBee brothers don't like to do. To try things or just try harder.

[B]

Can't you just do like me and my brothers do and do a try Not a lot lime.

[A]

As we see with him eating bruschetta later in the episode. Oh, no. It's too exotic and crazy.

[B]

So I don't really have a lot of green on my plate. What do you mean you don't eat vegetables? How dare you?

[A]

Sorry, I got lost on the way to Earl's landlocked house. And I thought it was in Kansas, but apparently you can be landlocked in Georgia, too. Who knew?

[B]

Oh, wait, wait. I did find Earl's home. Wow, this is really been destroyed, hasn't it? This just looks terrible out here. I mean, what are the. Are those beans on the ground? What? Oh, God. This poor house must have been cute at some point, but it's just hideous now. No, ma'. Am. This is our. This is our home. Oh. Oh, very nice. Very nice. Sorry.

[A]

I am so impressed that you guys are already decorating this place for the holidays. You know, I love Disneyland around the holidays. Ma', am, this isn't Disneyland. It's not. The holiday is. Oh, I just.

[B]

I saw the.

[A]

I saw that. That crazy burlap sack from the Nightmare Before Christmas over there. That's your brother, Cole.

[B]

Oh, that's so lovely. Really? Then what is the monster from the Matterhorn doing here? That's Galena. Oh, yes. I saw you at Alexis Bellino's bridal shower. You bitch. What was that about? Hello, Alexis, it is me. It is Migalina at the bridal shower. I love to shower. Party. Party.

[A]

Is that confirmed that that was Galena? Because it didn't look like Galena to me and everyone.

[B]

Galena.

[A]

Did Galena say she was there?

[B]

Girl, I'm not on Galena Talk.

[A]

Did Galena say it? Because I'm Galena Talk.

[B]

Okay, everybody, welcome. I make arm dance. Bitch. Bitch.

[A]

Whore.

[B]

Whore. Kill her chicken. Kill her, chicken. There, I'm done. Do it. Make it viral.

[A]

Boots on the ground. Boots on the ground.

[B]

Here is my new song. Masha is whore. Okay, let's go.

[A]

You can do it. It's slutty. Masha. Masha, Masha, Masha.

[B]

Here is how you destroy Porsche, okay? You get sledgehammer, you slam it through. Then you cook pasta on windshield. Whole family loves.

[A]

So let's move on to a funnier scene. All this mental health anguish. Who needs it on a farm? Am I right? Let's do the good stuff.

[B]

You know what? I'D appreciate for my man some mental stealth. Okay? You feeling something? Keep it inside. I don't want to hear it. Okay. Do not let your emotions get within my perimeter. Okay? Emotional stealth.

[A]

All right, brothers, because Halloween is approaching, we are going to watch a very scary movie. Okay, gather on. Tonight. We're going to have a 10pm showing of the scariest movie I've ever seen, Inside Out. It's a movie about emotions and dealing with it.

[B]

So now we go to Inside the Barn. Stephen and Jesse are working on the barn on Allie's hexagon arbor thing. Let's talk about it, guys. Hexagons, they're hard.

[A]

Previously McBean. I see Jesse agreed to make a hexagon, so he is making a hexagon. This is the show.

[B]

They didn't know how to make it. I said, honey, go with your feelings. Just make the seventh circle of hell that you can get engaged under some silence.

[A]

It is river reminiscence. The world looks like things again, but it's actually a big circle.

[B]

Wait a minute. You have a degree in construction management and you can't build a hexagon? He's like, I can if you just give me a second. That's 19 sides, right? No, it's six sides. Jesus. That's why I run this farm. And Daddy don't trust nobody else.

[A]

You are the most pessimistic person about construction management. You have a degree in it. Yeah, but from LEGO University.

[B]

God damn it.

[A]

So he has to make this. So basically, he has to cut out a bunch of planks and put them at an angle so it makes a hexagon, which is a little why you.

[B]

Want to get married under a stop sign? I mean, don't you have enough signs saying you shouldn't get married? I mean, it basically looks like a.

[A]

Stop sign, but isn't it? I think actually, to be fair, in a stop sign might be an octagon, right?

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, this is the McBee dynasty. You know, it's similar.

[A]

They're not going to pay for two extra sides for their stop signs.

[B]

Like the others. We have a loan to get to the bank, or we're not going to get the other two sides of the octagon. Right. So we're just going to pare it down.

[A]

Now, listen, there's just no sign that will work for this wedding. Whether it's a stop sign one way, because that's. That's also the direction of this marriage to the shitter one way. You know, there's like. I don't know. Slippery when wet. That could sort of apply.

[B]

Yeah. Can we just get. Get you married in front of a sign that says octung baby. Okay, so Cole is. Then Cole comes out of some tall crops and he's got.

[A]

This is crazy.

[B]

I don't know why this. Soybeans I've got. So look at the soybeans.

[A]

Just. We just see this, like, beautiful crops, and all of a sudden, coal emerges. It's like. It's like. It's like what I imagine it must look like when someone finally gets a picture of the Loch Ness monster. He just surfaces out of the soybeans. I was like, I. I don't know why. I just was. I can't with. With coal and the soybeans. I just cannot.

[B]

So he comes out, he's like, look at this. We got a good batch of soybeans. Well, that don't mean nothing if we don't get it packed up and shipped on top. We need things shipped on top. It is almost November 6th. How are we gonna pay the banks?

[A]

We are two months away from our trip to DC.

[B]

One day to six million dollar payment. Have they made six million dollars in two weeks off of soybeans?

[A]

Let' nowhere. They just sell enough soybeans. So Steven's like, by the way, I thought you were coming over to help with the arbor. And Cole is like, what's an arbor? So Steven, then we go inside the barn, and Stephen's like, in hindsight, a wedding during peak harvest may not have been the best idea ever. Jesse's like, well, as I think about it, I'm starting to agree with you. Hey, you're messing up my hexagon. Why are you taking my hexagon planks and making a square out of it? Surely you're not about to do something really funny for the television shows.

[B]

Everyone knows that peak, Harvard, Peak harbor, peak harvest season is the time that you can only concentrate on harvesting and parting with your family in Nashville with a bunch of very, very morally questionable people. Okay?

[A]

Usa. Usa.

[B]

Usa. So you haven't taken one dance lesson before this wedding. I'm going to teach you how to waltz. Get up here. I was like, oh, my God, this is pornhub right now. I was like, yes, Hot brothers. Yes, I'm in.

[A]

So just when you thought the brothers were going to waltz together. No. Why would they ever. Why would a man ever touch another man? So they instead make little boxes out of this poor. This poor hexagon, which is never really going to come together. And Jesse's like, Wait, we have to dance in a little box? He's like, yes. Just like how your laugh is contained in a small box called Ellie. We are gonna dance as well in that. He's like, okay, so how do we do it? Well, first of all, you need to have good posture. Chest out, elbows up. One, two, three. One, two, three. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. You know, put on one of those queer pop songs. Okay.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Okay. Put it on.

[B]

All right.

[A]

With that. See ya. All right, that'll work. Okay. One, two, three.

[B]

That'll be your marriage in about two years. See ya.

[A]

How about we put on Katy Perry? Okay. Teenage Dream, which is actually sort of what you living in right now, because you still think that you're. You're. You're a high school sweetheart. You know what I'm saying? You get the joke?

[B]

He's like, I like the. Jesse is like, I don't know about Walton. I was just thinking of doing it in this style, and he just was like, step, touch, step. I was like, yeah, it's really all you need at the wedding. I'm so sure the McBee wedding in the rental farm is going to be like, okay, please, everybody come to the dance floor. We're going to do the queen's waltz.

[A]

Yeah. I can't wait to see their choreographed dance to Bruno Mars being like, that stupid wedding song.

[B]

I think I'm gonna marry you. I love that song so much. I remember when they did it on Glee and I was, like, crying. It's like, this is so good. This is art.

[A]

I would only accept. I would accept all this nonsense about the wedding on McBee dynasty if I knew that Jesse and Ali would be dancing to Paul Abdul. Will you, will you, will you marry me? Boy. Then I'd be like, you know what? This season will be worth it.

[B]

I like Big Button again. Online, it's their wedding song. As they walk down the aisle, they're like.

[A]

They, like, don't know the rest of the lyrics. They're like, what's the rest?

[B]

I don't see, I don't know.

[A]

No one brother can deny When a woman walk when he walks in I like big butts and I cannot lie no other brother Candy?

[B]

Nah.

[A]

When a girl walks in with a bitty thing.

[B]

I get something and yeah, see, I don't know. So I'm like, this whole cast. Do we have a song based on soybeans that we can play?

[A]

Because I kill dribble doors and I cannot lie no other brother can deny when you're born seeds into a Little bit of door and did not dribble. I get sprung.

[B]

He's like, how do you know how to waltz anyway? How you know how to dance like that? And he goes, I did this for eight months with the 65 year old woman who taught me. That's how I do it now. Left, right, left, right. Hold, hold the boo butt. Put it to your mouth. Have lunch. Sorry, that went a little far. That went a little far. God, those were some good memories. You know they outlawed that. Okay, so that's.

[A]

Darla really got around, huh? So, hey, Steven's, Steven's like, yeah, it's just like you're going through a speed ladder in football. I was like, oh, yeah. I was always good at those. I was like, could you do a speed ladder? For the way you talk, you need a speed ladder.

[B]

Please, vocally speed ladder it up.

[A]

Come on, hurry it up. Okay, the only reason why this show is 10 episodes long is we're waiting for Jesse to finish the sentences.

[B]

All it is is about rhythm. And One thing the McBees have is debt. Really. But still, let's try and concentrate on a rhythm. Okay? So they dance together. I got a boner. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. Searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer. The new Audible original from Lily Chu.

[A]

The exquisitely talented Philippa sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Choo title.

[B]

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[A]

Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck, eventually planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico.

[B]

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[A]

Fake heiress, real secrets.

[B]

Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsommar we are sponsored.

[A]

By the new movie from Searchlight Pictures.

[B]

The Roses perfect couple, Ivy Olivia Colman and Theo Rose Benedict Cumberbatch have it all. Successful careers, a loving marriage and great kids. But when Theo's career comes crashing down, just as Ivy's fame starts to skyrocket, a tinderbox of fierce competition and growing resentment ignites, threatening to destroy everything they've built if they don't destroy each other first.

[A]

All's fair when love is war.

[B]

For anyone who's ever been in a relationship, the Roses is a crowd pleasing.

[A]

Comedy starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg, Allison Janney Tsuti Gatwa and Kate McKinnon.

[B]

From the director of Meet the Parents and writer of Poor Things, directed by.

[A]

Jay Roach and Screenplay by Tony McNamara.

[B]

This movie looks absolutely hilarious. I love Olivia Colman so much. I'll see anything she's in. And this one looks like a home run in theaters everywhere August 29th. Get tickets now. Okay, so then outside they're hot. And I think they're from different dads, right? Because how come they both have that.

[A]

They both have that same sort of like diamond shaped head, you know?

[B]

Well, you know what, you're right. I think these two brothers.

[A]

Don't they look like they could be on a playing card? Doesn't Jesse look like he could be like a jack and like Steven look like he could be like a king or something like that? They do look like playing card pieces or.

[B]

Yeah, drawings that make out in my dreams. Okay, so they look kind of alike. They look similar. I could believe that they're brothers. But then Cole and Brandon look alike. They look like different. They look like they're from a different stock. Yeah, they're like the tiny mouse squinty eyed ones. And then there's like the hot ones.

[A]

They still have a little bit of the diamond shape, but maybe that comes from the mom. God, you know what I hope, I hope they have a different dad. I would be so happy for Christy if she just was like, you know what? Fuck this guy. I'm gonna bang the hot guy behind the bar tonight and have two babies with him. And Steven will have to raise him like, good, good.

[B]

Yeah, it wasn't that odd. I mean, she ended up with Cole, so she just took anyone at that point. I just need some. Something emotional, fulfilling. Okay. I need something to fulfill me emotionally. So I just did the guy at the 7:11.

[A]

Well, I had one special night where a scarecrow came to life and I banged it twice. And well, now I've got my two more children.

[B]

I saw a guy standing having a Sodi popping. He didn't even have lips enough to use a straw. And I thought, you know what? I want that man to father my children.

[A]

Okay, so now we're at Brancato's catering and Christy's meeting up with Ally and Her mom, because they're going to be doing a tasting of everything. And Jesse is. We have a really. We have really important scene where Ali says, jesse's late. Let me call him. So she calls Jesse and he goes, I'm a little late. And she goes, yeah, I can see that. Which is some of the great content on this show. So then Jesse, at least he cares.

[B]

I'm going to stand up for Jesse because you hear, run, run, run, run, run. Just like, speeding down the highway to get there on time.

[A]

He does. And then he arrives and he, like, parks over, like, the parking spot line, which normally would drive me nuts. But to be fair, there was like. It wasn't like he was leading into another parking spot. It was just like sort of like one of those gridded off areas. So I gave Jesse a pass, but don't think I didn't notice it as well. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. She's like, you didn't park inside the lines. He's like, it's a big truck, these two. It's like watching Moonlighting. It really is. So they go in.

[A]

I mean, the. It's just like the. The chemistry just crackles off the screen.

[B]

It really does. So there's Amanda, and she's like the snotty ass wedding planner. She's like, oh, my God, here you guys are again. It's so good to see you, Jesse. Still having panic attacks. That's hilarious. Okay, Jesse, have your balls dropped enough for you to even be allowed to get married yet federally, or are we going to just have to wait a couple of years? You are hilarious. You probably peed just like you park outside the lines. What are you, a child? Oh, my God. Let's mash up some food for this idiot. Okay, we got Jesse here.

[A]

Just got a note from the venue. By the way, they say, unfortunately, you cannot come down the aisle in a combine. You're going to have to park it outside. Okay? It just does not fit inside the church.

[B]

A dribble door is a tool. It's not a way of life. Okay. You are the wind beneath my dribble door.

[A]

Her commitment to Bette Midler is really admirable. I just hope she doesn't read bets tweets, because she may have an issue. I saw some funny lady picking up trash on the side of the highway. I said, who are you? And she started singing to me, and I just love that music. So I just decided I'd bring it to the wedding.

[B]

I said, thank you for what you're doing for this country. Please stand up straight Please.

[A]

Then she said something about the boogie woogie. Something another of Company B. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[B]

Okay, so where are we at with the guest list? All I have here is a page that says Aunt Darling Darla over and over again. Oh, I made that. I really love Darla. She's just the most entertaining person in our family. Can we roll a clip of Darla? Hi, Christy. Isn't that good? God, I love her. Give her all the best tables. Hey, how about we just have a wedding where Aunt Darla can just walk around saying hello to people?

[A]

So they're gonna have 169 people at the. At the wedding. And no Russians, guys. And they all laugh. So now it's time to taste the food. So first up, fried Mac and cheese bites, which, I'm not going to lie, I would have liked to have sampled that. I would kill for some fried Mac and cheese bites right now. I'm starving. So eat them. And Jesse's like, good. And next, something very exotic from a foreign land. Goat cheese bruschetta. Which. This is going to be a really international wedding with this bruschetta. But will it go over well? Will Jesse like the bruschetta?

[B]

Yeah, and Chrissy loves it. It's okay. It is just so good. Ali loves it. She's like, oh, my God. Bruschetta with goat cheese. This is like. This is even like riding the waves for the city. I mean, this is great. And I'm a city girl. Okay. And this is good. And then Jesse won't eat it. He's like, it's got vegetables on it. Because I don't like being watched when I eat. Really? That's a shame, because I would love to watch you eat.

[A]

You could do what's mukbang videos.

[B]

Yeah, watch Jesse eat or don't eat. I just want to watch Jesse do whatever you want.

[A]

Jesse combine and have a panic attack.

[B]

Actually, could you try and park that car again? That was actually kind of a turn on the way you just, like, came in there and didn't care.

[A]

God, yeah.

[B]

Damn it, Jesse.

[A]

So they're all laughing at him. And Amanda's like, so we ready to look at some tablescapes? Like, well, I may have to go because we're open another car wash next week. You know, it's just the thing that farmers do, open car washes. So since the car wash is going to open up next week, I've got. I promise, I promised even I'd make a hexagon for the car wash, for the cars to drive through.

[B]

And I don't know.

[A]

We got to take care of that.

[B]

Yeah. You know, we're getting the car wash ready, and we wanted to test it, and we said, this is so gentle. A human can be in there. So we had Cole walk through it, but unfortunately, I accidentally filled up the soer with Roundup, and Cole almost lost his vision, so we got to go. Kind of worry about that now. Sorry, guys.

[A]

We told Cole we'd make it up to him. So this time, we filled up the soap with ranch, and he's just going to walk right through, and he's going to be happy as a little clam, which he also likes. He clams the ranch, so it works out well.

[B]

So she's like, you don't want any design input on our wedding? What do you mean, design input? You're getting married in a giant white place with white tables. What do you want him to choose?

[A]

A fork with a bunch of white people.

[B]

But the white people. It's the most Aunt Darla wedding I've ever seen. Like, there's nothing you need him to choose? Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Do you really want Jesse to have design input on your napkins and your forks? I don't think so.

[B]

So he chose a bolo tie. What more do you want from the man?

[A]

He's making a hexagon for this wedding. Okay, that's. That's enough. So he says he's not gonna cancel the wedding. He's like, just because of my anxiety attacks and a thousand other things going on, that's not. Not a thing I want to do to the bride. So I guess I'm just gonna trust in our relationship first instead of the other frustrations. You know what? You know what the sexiest thing is in the world? Inertia. Let's. Let's lean into it, baby.

[B]

That's hot. So then outside, Christy checks in with him. She's like, how you feeling, honey? He's like, one more thing off of.

[A]

The to do list.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. I think there's just so much anticipation, you know? Will they? Won't they? They will. I'm not. I'm just kidding. You're gonna get married. You're gonna be so happy. I don't think Ellie should marry you. Did I say that out loud? Okay, now, boy, here's one thing I want to say. Be confident that you're not good enough for Ally. Did I say that out loud? What is wrong with me?

[A]

You and Rachel are just gonna get along so. Well. Huh? Oh, sorry. I just. You guys are such Ross and Rachel's. Everyone knows it, right? We are so invested in this. By the way, I, like, was this entire little scene that they were having. I was distracted because they're sitting. They're like standing next to his suv and they're both leaning on it with their shoulders, just leaning on it. And it's like encrusted with like dead bugs and mud and all this disgusting stuff because it's been riding and I'm not. This is. Believe it or not, I'm not shaming the truck because this is just what happens with the fender, but this dirty ass fender and they're both leaning up against it with their shirts and I'm like, why are you leaning on this nasty ass fender right now? Just like, lean on something. Can we just shoot the scene somewhere else? You're making your shirts dirty.

[B]

Ellie comes outside. She's like, oh, hi. Are you Ben? I can tell you you're a city person.

[A]

I don't lean.

[B]

I don't lean on. Come inside.

[A]

Can someone lead? I just need some pressetta right now. I cannot look at w. Like, he would rather spend more time with that dirty fender than he would with that bruschetta. Let's be honest. So they basically, Mom's not for the prenup. And honestly, I'm not for the prenup either.

[B]

Yeah, because she didn't even know. And he's like, you know, I love her and I don't think anything would happen, but what are your thoughts on a prenup? Shut. I'm not for it, okay? We've known Ally and her family for years. She would be devastated if you brought this up. How could you? I cannot believe I raised boys to do this in any way. In this family, it's the men who steal the money from the women anyway. Come on.

[A]

Boys will be boys. You know, you do what you want, but I don't care for the decision if it's your brother's. And I really don't care if it's your dad's. I'm like, well, you're the mom. Why don't you call up your son Stephen and be like, you better. You better shut the up at this prenup. You are not going to pressure my son, the. The hottest one of you bunch to get a prenup, okay? And I say what I said and I'm the mother. Like, kick some ass around there, Christie. They'll listen to you.

[B]

Yeah, maybe not so well, but yeah, she can at least try, because they're ridiculous. And she's. Of course. She's like, this doesn't sound like Jesse. This is definitely his father and Steven Jr. Right? And so they ask her when she got a divorce from Steve, was there a prenup? And she's like, no, he wanted everything. And he fought to keep it. He fought. He still fought to keep it. So then she says, you know, do what you want, but if this is your decision, fine. But if this is your brother's. No. And especially if it's your dad's. This. Isn't this the part where we got a cut in of the dad being like, women do nothing but steal from me. Yeah, that's all they do. Women are a bunch of succubuses stealing things. Shut up.

[A]

This guy gorge.

[B]

I hate that. So. But I did love in this episode when they're like, like, well, it looks like it's time for dad to come back. I was like, fuck, yes. That man is so messy.

[A]

So then we go over to Calla's house and she's FaceTiming her mom and her niece. And they're talking about, like, Calla talked about how her sister died. And then so her mom adopted Harlow, the niece. And, you know, just talking about like, that. And like, the sister, the daughter doesn't really understand death, but understands a little bit, but still asks for the mom. And so then Callie gets to the deeper. The deeper part of the conversation, which is it's like a weird situation with, like, Stephen right now because he, like, he invited me to the wedding and, like, wants to, like, try to work things out with us. And, like, as much as I want to be in Texas and with the family, like, I'm like, maybe holding out hope with him because, like, if I can be on TV for, like, one more season, maybe I could get a spin off. I don't know. I'm like, waiting for, like, kala army to rise up. I don't know. Yeah.

[B]

And then we go back to Christy and she's like, well, I'm just. She's going to lynch with someone. And I immediately, the second you see this woman, you're like, that is Allie's mother. I mean, they are just. They look like twins and they're both.

[A]

Wearing little black leather jackets. They're like, it is time for paramom lunch, guys. Let's do this.

[B]

Yeah, but I want to see Ally take some notes from her mom because I think her mom looks like a badass. And I think Ally could use some style tips from her I like Ally. I'm just saying, like, listen to your mother. Okay? So Christie's like, yeah, I'm just so good friends with Michelle and Ali's whole family, and they'd be offended if they knew about that prenup. I was offended by it. So I'm not gonna say nothing. I'm not gonna tell my best friend my son is about to be a total douchebag to her daughter. Just gonna keep it inside.

[A]

So Michelle's like, well, I can tell Ally's getting a little tired and a little stressed because she didn't even even bring up a triathlon once this entire day. Wow. She was really going through it. And especially the seaton chart. Trying to please everybody. She's like, oh, well, I told her not to worry about me. It's their day. I will get along with everybody because that's me, Christy. I don't actually speak up for what I really want. I just get pushed around by everyone in my life.

[B]

Howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy. I'm sorry, I'm just getting so many texts. This is crazy. Oh, my gosh. I think it's Galena. You know why I think that? Because I'm looking at it and it says Galena. Oh, no. What if it's her? Is this Galena? Oh, gosh. She said it's Galena. I think it's her. I work with the boys every day and I feel like they are non whores like Masha. And this is why I thought they are like family. So by the way, don't speak to my family. Hate them. Wish they were all dead. Would start my fire if I was close enough to Russia myself. But I thought I would text you about coming to wedding because I completely respect your decision, whatever it is. Thank you for hearing me out. I have not been invited, but if you just tell me where it is, I will bring the chain cutter to get through fence. So let me know how you feel.

[A]

I completely respect your decision, whatever it is, and I would hate it if your car got flat tire. I went to wedding.

[B]

Just know whatever decision you make will have bearing on how your actual bearings work in car.

[A]

Okay, okay, let's.

[B]

I mean, it's just so weird because, you know, she's texting me, but the last text message I got from her was asking about cleaning my house. Could you guys run that picture of a 13 year old Russian teenager with pigtails? That would be great. It's not creepy at all. I love showing that image.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. So that picture of Galena she's like.

[B]

Look at me with pan. I'm so happy. Whole world ahead.

[A]

Whole world is happening. So.

[B]

You know what? Galena's defense, that was a big house, and she was a good cleaner. She worked so hard. I mean, she would. She did a real good job. Destin the family photos, I was like, oh, yeah.

[A]

Damn, Chris, those are a little dig right in there. So Christy's like, I'm a little stressed now. I mean, it's not about me, and I want the focus to beyond Jesse and Ally. So I don't know what to say back to her. And she's like, well, you don't have to say. You. You know what you can do? You can leave her on read as the kids say. Hey, have you been hanging out in that city again? You are picking up so much slang. Listen to that rap music.

[B]

You might as well be a public bus for a city as you are right now. Jeez.

[A]

So then we hear something. It's a new dawn, it's a new day.

[B]

Kind of start some Nina Simone. It's a new dawn, It's a new day. It's a new truck for me, and I'm feeling good. Yeehaw.

[A]

The soybeans are done. The soybeans are done. The soybeans are F150.

[B]

Nina Simone's in heaven like these people. This show. So my legacy has made it to a dribble door. God damn it.

[A]

All right, boys, time for Irish time. Okay? So the time has come. Different year. Be the rivers. Okay, Rapport.

[B]

Don't fall in a hole. Don't hit any poles.

[A]

Don't hit any poles in the hole.

[B]

Don't fall on the pole.

[A]

Don't take it. No laugh to the pole. Go celebrate with the girls on the pole. All right, let's go. Girly bowls.

[B]

Just waving around a breakfast burrito and snapping. Come on, girls. Hold down the hole. Pull down the hole and hold down the pole. Come on, y'. All. Well, this is the final day of harvest, and we've got to get as many bushels out of the fields as possible to sell and make our payments by tomorrow. We need to sell $6 million worth of soybeans by today, end of day. Okay? It's a grand finale. It's the soybean finale. You know, I really didn't appreciate it. I went downtown the other day to pick up something for the tractor, and somebody called me a soy boy, and I had to rethink this whole thing. God damn Cole. So I don't let Cole run the farm.

[A]

If only they knew how much soybeans could contribute to man boobs. Like, what? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Soy boons. Soybeans are full of estrogen. You. We are growing. We're growing lady hormones here on this farm. I will not stand for this any longer.

[B]

Do not say gay. Do you understand me? Do not say gay.

[A]

So now it's that night. Steven's house. I don't know, was this one we saw. And it was, there was one part where there's like a long sequence of like the combines going and like the soybeans flying out landing in a truck nearby. It was very majestic and exciting. And now it's that night and they're all the McBee. They're all there and Jake is there, he's with his girlfriend Tegan, and they're grilling steaks. And we got a nice long close up of the new McBee seasonings that thank God they went to an in person trip to Nashville just to remember what salt tasted like.

[B]

God, yeah, they're seasoning so good they can't be shit shipped from Nashville to McGillicuddy or wherever they live. Galena, what do they live? Gilpin?

[A]

Gallatin.

[B]

Gallatin Skeleton. And then we see Sitka the dog eating his own steak, which is bold. Okay, Stephen really up those steaks. He's like, well, just feed the up stakes to the dog for the rest of his life, you know, I was nervous going in because in the fall the farm's crop side was going to sink us. But by looking at the numbers, the soybeans and some of the later crop of corn came through. So making payments is thankfully not going to be a problem. And Cole's like, yeah, that's right. That's where I'm going to run the farm. That's why I'm going to run the farm one day. Nobody's going to say nothing about it to me because I'm good. Steven don't know nothing. Stephen don't know nothing about farms. He don't know soybean. He didn't believe in starvings. I was the one who believed in soybean. But now she's not even going to give me credit for nothing. I should be the president of this farm. I should be running of this farm. Nobody getting me no credit for nothing.

[A]

Well, guess what, Cole, before you get a boner for your soy beans, we're still not in the clear completely from what I messed up. Because guess what? This is a fun little fact. We're just going to just scuttle into a little flashback. I did mess up the fat trim on the brisket that we sold to Arthur Brains. And like we can at least afford to make our remaining debt payments because guess what?

[B]

That.

[A]

That did fall through. That. That deal. They just sort of quietly like, oh, by the way, all that Arthur Bryan stuff. Yeah, they. That they decided not to go with. Yeah, we got fired.

[B]

Oh gosh, that's so embarrassing. I just got back in town and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the grocery store. So I did what I always do. I called my good friend Instacart. Instacart is more than a grocery technology platform. It's a care company designed to make life easier. It connects you to thousands of stores across the US Giving you time back to focus on what matters most.

[A]

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[B]

Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most.

[A]

Download the Instacart app and use code CRAPINS20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code CRAPINS20 to get twenty dollars off your first order of eighty dollars or more. Offer valid for a limited time, excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply.

[C]

It's your man, Nick Cannon, and I'm here to bring you my new podcast, Nick Cannon at Night. I heard y' all been needing some advice in the love department, so who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious. Every week I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you catching feelings for your sneaky link. Let's make sure it's the real deal first. Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modest dating in relationships, friendships, situationships and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy. And you know what? You'll just have to watch the show. So don't be shy, join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Wanna watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery plus.

[B]

They fail, like, with everything they do on this show. Which is kind of funny, because normally shows are like, let's build it up, and then they pay the amount. You know, like, at the end, everything works out. And they're like, that's. That's what you get for a good. Being a good, taxpaying, Jesus loving American. But they never went on this show, like, last year. All they talked about the whole year was, we're gonna have these car washes, and so we need a hedge fund. So we're gonna have a hedge fund. And Galena knows everything about hedge fund. Thank God for Galena. She's getting us the hedge fund. Thank God. And then by the end, they're like, we're not. What do you mean? You are not giving hedge fund? What?

[A]

Yeah. I can't believe that they didn't get VC money for their farmer run car washes.

[B]

That have been open for a week. They're like, yeah, normally we invest in established businesses. What do you mean they are there. There's one that just squirted roundup all over. Over a lipless person. No. Yeah. We need to make sure they work.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, anyone can run a. Like, you can be a farmer, you can be a Wall street person. Anyone can run a car wash. I just don't trust these guys to run a car wash. I'm sorry. I do not. I feel like there's gonna be little soybeans and, like, pieces of brisket flying at my car if I go in that thing. And I just don't want that damage.

[B]

Anything with wash in the title. No.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not trusting these guys with any of that.

[B]

But it is kind of funny that Steven seems to be the one that sewed together, but his little thing, the meat stuff, failed big time. And Cole's stupid soybean plant that he did in secret is actually working. That's crazy.

[A]

Secret soybean. Well, you know, I think, by the way, also, we're selling this car wash a little short because it's not really just a car wash. It's the McBees coffee and car wash. So you go and you put your car in, and then you have some coffee on the side. And listen, we know with this family, they really appreciate their coffee. I mean, we're still reeling from Christie's, you know, triple decker whipped cream fantasmagoria delight that she ordered two weeks ago.

[B]

Well, I'm scared for my brothers and the. And. And I. And the farm itself, because there's an FBI investigation, but it feels like, it's really back to being a family farm again. Except for the part where nobody's told anybody who works here that my dad's gonna go to prison. So we'll do that later. We'll do that later. Don't you worry. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. One, two, three. Breasts. God, why do I keep doing that? Kind of miss that lady.

[A]

All right, I got a new concept, okay? It's not going to be McBee's Coffee and Car Wash. It'll be McBee's Coffee and Car Wash and waltz lessons, okay? You drop your car off, you get a coffee, and you learn how to waltz, okay? Someone make an octagon.

[B]

I'm sorry this has taken so long. Elderly, elderly. Breast milk is a little longer to steam.

[A]

Okay, so we do go over to a new car wash that's opening up, and we meet Galina's daughter, Erina, who is finally. Bravo was like, let's send someone onto the show that represents our network. Can we just have someone? Because Erina feels like she came from the world of Bravo. She looks like Bravo. She's also like. She just looks like she's looking around at all the people like, what the fuck am I doing at this car wash right now? I really love school.

[B]

We've met her before. She was on season one, and it was so funny because she. She's with her mom, and Galena's like, oh, look at this. This is house me and Steven are building to live in together. And she's like, mom, does he know that you're gonna be living here? Oh, yes, he loves me very much. So he doesn't still hate you and say he wants nothing to do with you? Oh, no. That means he loves me. She's like, oh, God, Mom, I don't know. I don't know if this is safe. I'm moving everything into his house until we have house ready. She's like, oh, my God, Mother, no, please. Her daughter's mortified that her mom's so crazy. It's so good.

[A]

Oh, gosh. Do we. Do you know where Erina lives? Does she live in. In Kansas?

[B]

I think she's local. I think so. Yeah. I think she's local.

[A]

So Glena saying today we are opening our last car wash. It's been a long time coming and it was a bitch to finish building, so I can't wait for customers to actually start coming.

[B]

But today is big chamber of commerce event. So many people will be here from chamber of commerce. Surely we won't do anything stupid. To make them mad. That stupid bitch Masha. Dumb bitch whore face. Everything will go well. Wash that whore right out of your car. Am I right? Chamber of Commerce. Do you like tagline?

[A]

Well, when we bet on. When we bet the farm on these car washes, which makes total sense because the perfect extension of a farm is a car wash. Then didn't get the financing that we need, it was disappointing. So if we can get the investors we needed today, it would be huge. I'm like, oh, wow. Like, they're literally acting like Warren Buffett's about to walk through and examine this car wash. And it's like, just this random dad from the town who are like, well, this machinery looks pretty cool in here. I'll throw $50 at this enterprise.

[B]

I'm telling you, a lady who did the splits was trying to get a caftan shop open down here, and we wouldn't let her open this location. Let's hope this car watch is a better fit for the community.

[A]

So Galina's talking to the potential investors, and then there's, like, some. The best part about this is, first there's, like, these tiny little remote control cars or whatever that they put these P in, and they're just, like, driving around in the front. These are the smartest creatures on this entire season, these places.

[B]

When it started, when it started breaking out in a fight later, and they just cut to that little pug in a tiny car being like, that was.

[A]

Like, again, finally, a Bravo moment. So Jesse's like, well, I didn't want to invite Galina to the wedding originally because of my mom, but my mom seems to be understanding and wants to put the past behind them. So. Hey, Galena, you obviously work very hard for us and are a big part of our lives, and we appreciate that. So talk to my mom. And this isn't the official invite because we sent that out to the people we actually like, but we found an old coupon for Sam Goody, and we wrote down on top of it, dear Galena, come to our wedding. I hope you accept it.

[B]

I wrote hi, Galena on a Val pack, but just consider that an invitation. I'll tell them at the door you're okay. You're okay to come in.

[A]

Okay, I cut the side out of this Starbucks, and I wrote Galena on it, but kind of smudged off. But here. Here's a piece of Starbucks cup. It counts.

[B]

I don't have big family home, but we were close. And since I can't go back after murdering them, I wanted an American family Brand new American family where I. Daddy. So the wedding invitation makes me feel like I'm actually part of the family. Why are you lighting matches, Galena? I'm sorry. I'm good. Memories, memories.

[A]

Look, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Look what I got. Oh, let's look at this. She goes, oh, oh, that's awesome. And then she's like, but remember, mom, no drinking there. No drinking at the wedding, Mother.

[B]

Like, at all mother. She's like, oh, of course I know. I don't drink anything but the wine. Vodka at wedding. What am I, monster?

[A]

Come on.

[B]

It's mama. It's mama. Here. You know what? You should call grandmother. Just kidding. I killed her. Okay, get out of my car wash. So now it's the ribbon cutting time. And who drives up? Masha.

[A]

So Galena is like, oh, first she pretends to be my friend, then she steals my man, and now she shows up wherever the she wants want to. She has some balls. You.

[B]

You so g. Walking around like the wife of the whole event, you know, where she's just walking. She's like, yo, hello, Chamber of commercial. Hello, Masha. Thank you for enjoying my car wash. You know what you do here? I said one time, there should be place you take car and it get wash. So thank you for believing in dream.

[A]

She's acting like Mashlania Trump right now. So they're walking around and they're like, oh, my God, I can't believe Masha is here. Like, wow, what are the odds that Masha would show up right now, guys? And so then Galena's doing her, like, over the top. Like, over, over top rage acting, where she's like, anytime she sees Masha out of the corner of her eye, like, no matter who she's talking to, like, her. Her face just flattens, and she's like, you, you, you.

[B]

Galena's eyes just get so evil when she's mad. They just, like, shine behind the eyes. She's just like, oh, hello, Chamber of comm. And then we see a clip of them fighting. And Galena's like, you slept with Steve behind my back. Spread your legs. Wiggle your ass. Wiggle. Your method of communication is so low. You should see specialist. Specialist.

[A]

Low communication specialist will help you a lot with that.

[B]

So Steven's like, I want to welcome all of you to the ribbon cutting of our car wash. This place is amazing. As you'll see, we have a cow coming through right now. Look how sparkling he is. And you know what? People who ride cows are still good with up pooped in the okay, the car wash has some poop stuck in the drain. We're gonna have to shut that down for a minute. I'm sorry. But, everybody, thank you for being here. Please have some deep fried Mac and cheese balls, which surely no one else will be using for an event anytime soon.

[A]

Soon. And the Galina just, like, walks by Masha during the speech, and she's like, prostitutes. And she's like, mom. Aaron is like, mom, we're at a business stop. Don't do the horror. This is a professional setting right now. Go do your job. Gina's probably like, I know. It is professional reality show. I have to do my role here.

[B]

It's like, I work on this job forever. I know how important she goes, mom, please, there's people that here that matter. Okay, Lower your voice. Okay, I will. I do it lower. Like this. You like that? You are stupid prostitute. No, mom, like, softer.

[A]

Oh, Marshall's here. She needs to chill. She can't be showing up at a business stuff when she don't do for her events. And come like, oh, like, you're such a value add call to a opening of any sort of event company. Like. Like, that's what investors want to see, everyone. Coal. Oh, wow. I want to throw my money at this.

[B]

Yeah. Cole sweating. Sweating his armpits everywhere. You know, like, exhaling Frito dust all over everybody.

[A]

Bringing a basket full of soybeans like a little Red Riding Hood to the car wash.

[B]

So Galena circles back around to Steven, and she's out there talking to people like, I set up this shit. I did all the work on this project. Masha did nothing but the wiggle ass as we go.

[A]

Okay, I know, I know. Just take time, stay calm. We'll talk. We'll talk. What does she even do? Like what? Marketing. Like what? Like, marketing. Like what? I never heard. And then we see a flashback, you know?

[B]

You know, Galena's about to lose her when she gets the high voice. What does she do? Like, marketing. Like, marketing.

[A]

And then, like, we see Masha being like, oh, I just got back from St. Joe Carwash. I've been doing a lot of marketing there. Okay? I make. I cut out poster board arrow and give it to homeless person to swirl. A lot of marketing. So G is like, she only. She only spreads her legs. And that's the. That's the only that she does. That's her entire talent. I am so disappointed in your father.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. So she's like, oh, my God, this. And she's only fucking spreading her leg that's all that she does. That's her entire talent spreading leg. I'm so disappointed in your father. I cannot even tell you how to support. Well, he told her not to come. He showed me the ticks, but he's. But she's here for one clear reason, okay? And we still have investors here and $30 million and loans. And we cannot be doing this. We cannot do it. You need to stay calm. My blood is boil. My stomach is about to like explode. Exploding with glass, exploding with us. I'm going to lose it.

[A]

Galina. Now. Okay, good thing. Just think good things. You're part of our family. You're going to the wedding, okay? Do not ruin this, okay? That man over there is about to give $25 to this car wash, okay? Do not ruin this.

[B]

This going to look pretty and talk and leave without doing. She don't do. And she take credit for car wash. I go to kill lady.

[A]

Also, can we talk about how Galena's wearing like this black vinyl, like, weird prom dress that's like shiny. It looks like a hefty bag and that she cinched. She looks crazy. Don't look crazy.

[B]

So, but what do you wear to a marketing gala? I mean, a car wash gala, you know, what are you wearing?

[A]

Poncho for the chamber of commerce.

[B]

Get me my nicest vinyl, please. Black preferable.

[A]

So she's networking and everything seems to be going well. And then Galina sees Masha talking to an investor. And Masha's like, it's going to be one of a kind. We put sign ups. Do you like the sign? Whoever made that sign is quite a marketing genius. Would you not. And so then Erina comes up to Galena and because she sees. She sees her mom is really about to lose her. And Glenn's like. Or she's like, mom, stop. You're literally talking to an investor or car.

[B]

Prostitute is here. What are you doing here? Yeah, she walks right up to Masha and she's like, oh, prostitute is here. What are you doing here? I built it. This place. What do you mean, what am I doing? I don't know about that. I remember hammer, nail, hammer, nail, wiggle ass, nail into hammer. I remember it's very hard to build.

[A]

And it gets really tense. And so they. But it's not really that tense, but they're trying to make a tense. So then they like show shaky cam of like the traffic, as if some cars come veering off the road and run them over because they're like, oh, my God, two Russians are Fighting. I lost control of my car.

[B]

And then they cut. Like, cut to the pugs.

[A]

So stupid, tiny race car bugs made me laugh. The pug literally like that. They're like. Like, oh, how do we express the tension of the scene? Cut to the pugs.

[B]

Yeah, I'm part of the family. Okay, who are you? And she goes, look at me. Look what I got. Val Pack with name on it. What do you have? What do you have? Goddamn poor face. You are scum. Dude, the bank is right there. You look like freaking skink is what you look like right in front of chamber of commercial.

[A]

And Jesse's like, just when you think Galena's final doing good, something crazy happens. Too late to take back the invitation.

[B]

Party. Har har.

[A]

So Marshall's like, I'm going to call the cops. I saw it on video. You were there. You beat up my car. And Aaron is like, I wasn't even there. I was going to law school because Masha's, I guess, accusing Erin of it.

[B]

She's like, yeah, now she's going to the daughter, which is crazy. Why is she going for the daughter?

[A]

And the daughter doesn't give a about any of these people or the car wash. So she's like, so I don't have time for your pathetic. Marshall. Like, oh, if you're in law school, you should advise your mom to stop being so aggressive.

[B]

And then we see Irina turn into her mom. She's like, you don't deserve to speak to me ever. I am 22, and I'm smarter than you'll ever be. And Masha drives away, and Galena's like, get the out of my face. And so she spits at the car as it's going away. And everybody's watching this, okay? The whole chamber of commerce is like, how are these Mac and cheese bites? That's crazy. I've had it in a bowl. Have you ever had in a bite? Cause those crazy Russians are fighting again. Was it a Mac and cheese ball? Because it's confusing.

[A]

Did you have a good time? And they're like, oh, yeah, it's great Mac and cheese ball. I mean, I'm. Do you have any to go boxes? I got to hit up the Tommy Bahama before I go home. Oh, yes, Right over here. So then the scene just ends. And now we go to Jesse and Ally's wedding rehearsal. It's one day till the wedding, and Ali's asking Stephen if Cal is going to come. You know the question that's on all of America's mind? Will Calla be there. Prayer can make it.

[B]

So Stephen's like, well, I am focused on officiating the wedding, and I thought there'd be a test, but I just had to pay 45 bucks online. They even gave me a little card. And they're like, did you have to pay extra for the card? He's like, I did. I paid 5 extra dollars for the card. But you know what? It's an important thing to have. I am the leader of this company, and this card is the reason why I deserve to lead this farm.

[A]

He's like, all I had to do to get this card was to listen to, like, one song by Lady Gaga, which I thought was weird. Wait a second. It says, this is the gay card. What? I got the gay card by accident.

[B]

You back. You wax your butthole one time, and they try and pigeonhole you.

[A]

They're coming for us. So Amanda, the wedding planner. Well, I guess I better use it. Get. Better use this. Okay. Card. Now I got it. Might as well. Hey, you better sign that prenup, because if you don't, it's homophobic. I got the gay card.

[B]

Yeah. So he's so Steven. He goes over to Amanda, the wedding planner. She's like, oh, my God, Stephen. Wow. I guess you won't be needing my service is anytime soon. That's. You're never getting married, are you? Hi there, you emotionally insufficient little man. Baby, what can I do for you? And he's like, okay, there's. There's some people we got to keep out of this wedding. It's her. Okay? It's a blonde Russian lady with crazy eyes. Could you be more specific? It seems like a disease, right? Those are going around like a cold right now. Okay, I do know people on the chamber of commerce. They are. Are pretty disgusted, but they are asking me for the recipe for Mac and cheese spice, which is a secret, so I don't know how you got them at your car wash, but anyway. So when you're not trying to ruin my life, what can I do for you?

[A]

Listen, I'm gonna make it real simple, okay? You are not allowed to let this woman mash her into this wedding. Okay? She's a white blonde lady. Okay? No white blonde ladies. Well, no. I mean, no, we want white blonde ladies, but not this white blonde lady. Okay, can you give me some more defining features? She's got a round face. That doesn't really narrow it down. She's, like, yay big. Maybe about five, five, four. Okay, so the. She's a white blonde lady who's five. Four with a round face. I don't know. I think that still leaves about your entire guest list. Still can make it in with that description.

[B]

Okay, so you're tell. Okay, tell me this. On a scale of Aunt Darla to Mama Christie, how white blonde lady is this? Okay? She's like Mama Christie, but with a machine gun in her trunk and crazy eyes.

[A]

Okay, now just listen. Just ask her a question. You'll hear her speak Russian. Okay, well, I don't. I don't speak in dressings. All right, well, you know, you're no help.

[B]

Would it help if I just greeted everybody in balsamic? Is that what you want from me? Okay, it's like, listen, there's two crazy Russians, okay? There's. There's two girls with blonde hair and crazy eyes. Well, there's actually three because there's your mother as well. Okay, we're going to keep your mother. Okay? There's two of the Russians, though, so you got to keep one of the crazy Russians out. And she's like, okay, fine. So you're telling me they're both Russian and they're both blonde? Okay, I got it bad. Your dad sure has a type, don't he?

[A]

So then outside, Jesse and Allie are sitting together, and Allie is like. She's like, can you believe you're going to be a married man? And he's like. Like, yeah, I'm excited. Less nervous than I was. I just pretend I'm on a combine, and I feel calm. They should call it a combine, right, Ali? You want to laugh at that? Was a joke. Anyway, I'm ready now, and we're gonna. You're gonna move to the farm right after we get back from Hawaii, right? Is that the plan? Do you want me. You wanna. We're gonna sell the city house next to that big, fancy subway, and then you're gonna come the farm, right? Alley.

[B]

She's like, well, I guess that sounds like the plan. Married life on the farm. Yay. I guess I'll be a homesteader. It's like, this is not the look of somebody who's ready for this. I felt really bad that she gave in. Why don't they just keep that house and go to that house on the weekend? Or at least something.

[A]

Do anything other than, like, compromise for this family.

[B]

Anything truly for that. So it's a little place you live in in Gallatin. You need to get back like, that looks like the set of Roseanne. You need to get back to your gorgeous farmhouse in the big city.

[A]

Girl is really Nice. It's a nice house. Okay, so then inside the wedding venue. And also, by the way, if she lives in the city, she. Maybe she'll be in proximity to Mr. And Mrs. Kelsey. Congrats. Congrats. Travis and Taylor. But, you know, they're, you know that, like, if there's anyone who's excited about this, you know, it's Ally. You know, she's like, oh, my God, I might see them down the street at my city house in Kansas City. Who knows? Fingers crossed.

[B]

Oh, they're gonna live by Gallatin.

[A]

Well, no, I mean, I'm assuming that. That Travis Kelsey must have a house in Kansas City because he plays on the. On the Kansas City team. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I don't know. To me, it's just some big hairy guy with a lot of luck. I see that guy and I'm like. I mean, I guess I don't really know what's going on there, but I don't understand sports or anything.

[A]

He's cute. He's got warm eyes. I find he's, you know, I. I enjoy Travis Kelsey. I'm. I'm down.

[B]

I'm Literally know nothing about him except that he does that podcast with his brother. And they seem, like, cute and nice and, like, they burp a lot. You know, they just seem, like, really straight, you know, because I like straight guys in theory, but those guys are like.

[A]

They're really super straight.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like they. They're like, hey, do you know that you could run a car with a lawnmower engine if you just have the right tools? I'm like, I just. Please stop.

[A]

But they're, like, fun. The McBees are, like toxic straight. I feel like the Kelsey's are fun straight, you know?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I like their. I like their version of straight.

[B]

Okay. Absolutely. I just. It's just ignorance. I don't know anything about them, you know, Ain't my. Ain't. Ain't my circus. Ain't my monkeys. Know what I'm saying?

[A]

So Steven gathers around the other brothers, and he's like, now, hey, brothers. Brothers, gather around. Okay, so. Okay, Cole, take those soybeans out of your mouth. Okay? You got to cook them first. Okay. All right. I haven't heard anything about a prenup. Have you guys heard anything? And they're like, oh, no. Okay, well, we'll have to have it. Have to do a post note fan at this point because they haven't signed anything. And I'm getting real mad right now. Real mad.

[B]

Yep. Because I haven't heard hide Nor hair from Jesse about this prenup. And I don't know if he just doesn't have the balls, but if they were ever to divorce, Ellie stands to take 12.5% of $18 trillion in debt. And you know what? We cannot have that. Our farm is on the line. Then don't any of you ever find happiness or get married? You. Dude, that's not. That's not how it works anyway.

[A]

And I just want to reemphasize that I have not heard hide nor hear from Jesse about this. But Casey called me and she said she is hiding from Cole's back hair. So I just want to clarify that that's what the situation is right now.

[B]

Where I have heard hide and hair from Casey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't wait to bring this up.

[A]

I'm not here right now.

[B]

Hide. You've reached Casey. I'm not here right now. I'm blinking two times. If anybody can come help, that would be great.

[A]

Casey. You know it's pronounced hi, not hide. No, I'm pretty sure you say hide like hide. My name is Casey.

[B]

She's speaking in code. On her voice greeting, she's like, please help me. So Steven's like, so, Jesse, can I talk to you? Okay, now, I don't want you to stress out or nothing. Just remember, we are not a combine and there is not a camp. Okay, so now I did not get the prenup, so I'm trying to figure out what to do. So I guess we're just gonna do a post nut. What are we gonna do here?

[A]

And he's like, well, I mean, I appreciate you trying to help me with this, but I don't think it's gonna happen because I think we can trust Ali by now. She knows things like, about. Like bruschetta. You ever hear about that? She's not like any other girl out there. She knows about tomatoes. Tomatoes and goat cheese on a piece of crostini.

[B]

This scene shocked me. And I was so happy with this scene because I was just mad at Jesse for making Ally move to the city. But he. Or to the country. But he's like, yeah, you know, I just don't. Because he says no. Basically, he's like, no, I'm not doing this. And he goes, okay, well, I agree that Ally is not the issue. She's not that kind of girl. That's fine. But it's more about setting a precedent for Cole and Brain and myself. And he goes, okay, but I just hate to use that as the reason for signing a prenup And I don't think she deserves it. And it's not a good idea for the sake of our relationship. And it's really best for her and I that we don't do that. And Steven looks like he is gonna fucking kill him. And he's like, well, it's not good for the rest of us. Well, then, too fucking bad. And if she gets in there and tells you you can't plant a fucking. You can't trim meat badly. I mean, what could be bad? She's an actual educated, intelligent person. And if she does come into this business, all she can do is help Stephen. Because you fucked up your entire whole thing, and now you're going to try and hold it against Steven and all these other people. I don't think it's fair. And you know that if he did sign it, Steven would be the one to be like, well, I'm getting married. I know everybody had to sign a prenup, but I just don't think it's right for me and Calla. So.

[A]

Yep. Yeah. Well, I guess we're going to find out. Next week on the season finale. It's the Big Wedding. The Big Wedding episode. Is Kala gonna be there? Will Kala be at the wedding? Although the real point of intrigue seems to be that Galena gets pulled over, maybe for what appears to be maybe a DUI on the way to the wedding, which is legitimately very funny.

[B]

Next time.

[A]

Finally, something that does not. Finally, something that does not seem staged to me. Yes. Let's do it.

[B]

I love the show and I'm just so happy for you, Jesse. I'm so proud of you. By the way, Jesse, I'll sign a prenup up and I'll make you sign one, too. Get over here and get your hugs. You deserve them. Get over here. Take off your hat. Take off your shirt. Keep your pants on for now. We don't know each other that well, but otherwise, let's cuddle. So let's make a cuddle puddle. Love you. I love you, Jesse. Bye.

[A]

Well, everyone, thanks so much for being here.

[B]

Especially you, Jesse.

[A]

Especially you, Jesse. You are still very cute despite all this. Despite my bad attitude. You are an adorable young man. And thanks, everyone for being here. And we will catch you on the next episode of Watch. Watch. Robins. Bye, everyone.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.