#2989 McBee Dynasty S02E10: Wedding Crasher

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode 2989

McBee Dynasty S02E10: "Wedding Crasher"
Released: September 3, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Coverage: McBee Dynasty Season 2 Finale – Wedding Bells, Jail Cells, and a Wild Ride

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie bring their signature blend of snark, affection, and Bravo-watching obsession to the second season finale of McBee Dynasty. As the McBee clan faces weddings, jail time, dramatic absences, and a Russian wedding crasher, the hosts dish on every hilarious and cringe-worthy beat. The recap is peppered with Ben and Ronnie's trademark impressions, absurd asides, and real affection for Bravo’s chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Finale Sentiments and Predictions

• Both hosts express a fondness for the McBee Dynasty and genuine sadness that its season is ending.
  • Ben: "If Bravo decided that this should be the series finale, not just the season finale, that would just break my heart." (03:37)
  • Ronnie is adamant: “No, this show will go on, sir. This, this has got 10 years in it, I guarantee you.” (03:51)
• The episode’s slow pace is lampooned: “I've never seen a season finale for a show... come away from an hour saying nothing happened. Like, that's crazy.” (03:57)

2. Setting Up the Wedding Day

• Ronnie and Ben riff on the arcane traditions and fashion choices at the McBee wedding—orange spray tans, white suspenders, and cowboy hats.
• Ben skewers Christy’s spray tan: “Did you ask for the Trump special? You are bright. You are traffic cone orange.” (08:11)
• The groomsmen’s bizarre looks are compared to “Clockwork Orange” and dubbed “dumb work orange” for these rural boys. (13:36)

3. Groomsmen Antics & Vows

• A discussion on the logistics and stupidity of shotgunning beers:
  • Ronnie: "It just looks like people ruining perfectly good can technology to get all over themselves and smell like bar rot the rest of the day." (10:15)
  • Ben: “Just put it all in a glass and chug it!” (11:02)
• Jesse’s lackluster vows are mocked: “Did not make prenup. You’re welcome.” (11:47)

4. Familial Tensions & Running Gags

• Recurring bits about Casey’s constant state of concern (“I don’t know about this.” [16:31]) and the family’s inability to handle change (“This is also what she said last week when they tried to change the logo for Cracker Barrel.” (16:40))
• The Cracker Barrel logo controversy devolves into a hilarious, extended aside about corporate branding, nostalgia, and the “old man in the barrel.”
  • Ben: “It’s not a very good logo. Let’s be honest. Let's be 100.” (17:30)
  • Ronnie: “No one can argue that. I don’t... Oh. So it’s like literally a cracker next to a barrel.” (17:40)

5. Wedding Day Security and the Russian Wedding Crasher

• Steven gives security guard Mackie a crash course in identifying problematic Russian wedding guests, leading to a farcical exchange:
  • Ronnie (as Steven): “If one of them is walking in holding a chicken, that's Masha. If one of them is walking in holding a knife to a chicken, that's Galena. You follow?” (24:03)
• Persistent, over-the-top xenophobic jokes about “white Russians” and confusion between Galena and Masha, played for hyperbolic rural cluelessness.

6. Wedding Ceremony Chaos & Absentee Drama

• Calla’s Absence: The hosts are bemused by Calla skipping the wedding, equating it to missing out on a landlord’s wedding and a free meal.
  • Ben: "I think it's an honor to be invited to your landlord's wedding. So, like, you should go." (31:13)
  • Ronnie: “Them sucking does not make you better. You suck, too. Goodbye. No one cares that you're leaving.” (39:49)

7. The Ceremony

• Tess’s emotional singing and Jesse’s dry-eyed reaction are mercilessly lampooned.
• Ronnie: “Maybe I didn’t love you quite as often as I could have. Why is she singing a breakup song? Just roll with it, honey.” (33:03)
• Traditional vows get the “McBee twist,” with jokes about city girls, prenups, and farm ownership.
  • “Allie, do you solemnly swear to forfeit your 12% of our family farm? You’re not allowed to have it.” (34:10)

8. Galena’s Car Crash & Jail Time

• Massive segment about Galena’s crash in her G-wagon and arrest:
  • Ben compares the producer’s hunt for Galena to “Laura Dern in Jurassic Park.” (42:15)
  • Ronnie relishes the chaotic, Bravo-perfect “fake DUI”: “How many luxury cars does Galina get to trash this year? I love this woman's style.” (43:11)
• Body-cam footage is described with mock Russian accent and absurdist dialogue.
  • Ben (as Galena): “Oh, what a lovely, lovely living room. What beautiful place. I cannot believe you treat me like this after we have moved in together.” (48:41)

9. Family Updates and Big Reveals

• In a classic Bravo mid-wedding bomb, Steven reveals to his brothers that their dad is under FBI investigation and facing potential prison time for insurance fraud. (59:51–62:48)
• The absurdity of worrying about a prenup when the entire family business is at risk is not lost on the hosts.
  • Ronnie: “That's so ridiculous. He's making this whole big stink this whole time about a prenup. And meanwhile, Dad's probably up the business for good.” (62:15)

10. Finale Wrap-Up – Where Are They Now?

• On-Screen Updates:
  • Galena's still working for the McBees.
  • Steven Jr. and Calla are done.
  • Cole and Casey haven’t set wedding plans.
  • Jesse and Allie have welcomed a daughter, Summer.
  • Steve Sr. pleaded guilty to insurance fraud and faces up to 30 years.
• Ronnie's typically irreverent take: “Let me tell you one thing about prison. They got doors that don’t dribble. See you next year.” (65:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jesse’s vows – “Did not make prenup. You’re welcome.” (11:47, Ronnie)
• On the groomsmen’s looks – “It’s very Clockwork Orange. It’s like dumb work orange for them.” (13:36, Ben)
• On security briefing – “If one of them is walking in holding a chicken, that's Masha. If one of them is walking in holding a knife to a chicken, that's Galena.” (24:03, Ronnie as Steven)
• On Calla’s absence – “It’s not a zero sum affair. Them sucking does not make you better. You suck, too.” (39:49, Ben)
• On Galena’s crash – “This is like when Laura Dern went to turn on the power in Jurassic Park.” (42:15, Ben)
• On the wedding cake – “I thought they were gonna have like a ten-tier cake… and they’re like, well, we bought a store bought everything but the cake.” (49:54, Ronnie)
• On Steven’s bombshell – “I just got a call… It’s about something I’ve been keeping from y’all… It’s dad. Dad. And I didn’t want to make it a big deal in case this problem went away, but it’s looking like it’s not going to go away… He’s under FBI investigation.” (60:26, Ben as Steven)
• On Bravo priorities – “This is Bravo. You know what, like, we need a better cake. There was a G wagon that just got run into a tree because someone was having a bad day. Like I need a bigger cake, dude.” (50:44, Ronnie)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:49–07:21 – Opening banter, Bravo news
• 07:22–15:31 – Wedding hair/makeup, groomsmen antics
• 22:26–25:15 – Security briefing for incoming Russian guests
• 28:26–31:48 – Wedding arrivals; Calla drama
• 33:19–36:15 – Ceremony highlights and jokes
• 39:41–43:20 – Calla’s “liberation,” Galena’s crash, and chaos
• 43:34–44:33 – Body cam segment, Galena’s arrest
• 59:51–62:48 – Dad’s legal troubles revealed at the farm
• 65:02–66:35 – On-screen finale updates, hosts’ closing thoughts

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Tone & Style

The episode is trademark Crappens: warm, absurdist, irreverently affectionate for its subject (and frequently savage in its humor). Both hosts lean hard into impersonations, rural stereotypes (“Clockwork Orange, dumb work orange”), running gags about spray tans, Cracker Barrel, and the cosmic silliness of Bravo’s universe.

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Conclusion:
If you missed the McBee Dynasty finale, Ben and Ronnie’s recap will not only fill you in but make you weirdly fond of every orange, beer-chugging, wedding-crashing, G-wagon-wrecking moment. As always, the real fun is in the banter, bits, and unexpectedly loving send-off. “And that brings us to the end of the McBee Dynasty, season two. What a show. I hope it wins everything this year. I hope it wins Emmys. Let’s give it a Grammy. That’s some good songs, too.” (66:12, Ronnie)

Transcript

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[B]

Well hello everybody and welcome to watch what happens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben.

[A]

Welcome.

[B]

Over yonder. Hello, Ben.

[A]

Yonder. Hi. How are you?

[B]

Over yonder.

[A]

Yonder.

[B]

Previously, Ben was over yonder. Today he's still over yonder. He's like a baby. Like a baby to me. I love you, Ben.

[A]

I'm a baby who went yonder and needs to be rescued with a combine.

[B]

Well, it was a really, really rough Monday night for me watching the man of my life, Jesse McBee, getting married to that hooker alley who doesn't deserve him.

[A]

Just kidding. It was a rough. It was a rough Monday for me too, because I also had to watch him getting married to Ali. So that was rough. It was.

[B]

This is a good day for you because the McBee's ending, but I'm gonna miss those.

[A]

What? I love this show. I'm so sad that it's. That it's ending and like. And if Bravo decided that this should be the series finale, not just the season finale, that would just break my heart. Just break my heart.

[B]

No, this show will go on, sir. This, this has got 10 years in it, I guarantee you. Everybody, welcome to this.

[A]

That's how long this episode felt, by the way, watching that. The season finale. Somehow I don't. I've never seen a season finale for a show. I've never seen a crazy Russian crash a G wagon. And I still come away from an hour saying nothing happened. Like, that's crazy.

[B]

All right, everybody, if you want this on video, you can find it over on Patreon. Patreon in English. That's also where you'll find our bonus episodes. Last week was a three hour recap of the Love island reunion.

[A]

And that's we were crazy.

[B]

And this week will be a three hour trailer trash of the Real Housewives of Potomac and trailer.

[A]

And by the way, I have to say congratulations to Karen Huger, who is reaching or has reached the end of her prison term. Is she released today or next tomorrow?

[B]

She got out just looking at a picture of her driving by in her car, waving at people on her way to the beauty salon.

[A]

Oh, God. Welcome back, Karen. I'm. I'm sure she's not very thrilled that they filmed an entire season without her. She's like, why didn't you wait? But you know what? It might just be worth it because that trailer, I have seen it and it is. It is a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. Looks like Potomac is back.

[B]

I'll watch it as we cover it. Probably tomorrow or the next day, but we will be around doing that. So check that out over on Patreon. It's also where you get bonus. I already said that. Okay. If you want videos but you don't want to pay for Patreon, you get them a week later over on our YouTube. Also, Mondays are a fun day for us because Monday nights we do Amazon live one week at 4pm Pacific. We just did one last night or two nights ago. It was super fun. And on the Mondays we're not doing that. We do crappy hour Live which is at 5:30 Pacific. That's for free on Patreon or YouTube or you can find on Instagram too. Just go find links in the link in bio over at our Instagram. Okay. That's where you find it. Today is the Mickabee Dynasty season two finale. Wedding bells and jail sales. It's been one hell of a ride this year. I always thought of those McBean Be Boys as my adopted babies. And now one of them is having a baby.

[A]

Yeah, the big stupid one who looks like a baby is actually having a baby. It's the craziest thing that ever happened. Ever since they invented the dribble door. It looks like someone had a dribble door on their condom. So anyway, and the other one, well, he got stuck in the mood. And then we see scenes of Steven Jr. And Calla fighting and fighting in in the Ozarks. And she's like, yeah, that's what. No one likes her coming around. Hopefully she won't come around no more. Dribbled or face.

[B]

And we're Jesse and Ali's wedding finally here. Who knows what'll happen. The last few years have been drama beyond belief. I can't even tell you. You remember that time I brought root beer to somebody who asked for beer? It ain't all bad. It ain't all bad. Near, far wherever you are.

[A]

Yeah. So for on a show with that's known for its manufactured drama, get used to all sorts of drama happening on tonight's wedding.

[B]

Buckle up, everyone.

[A]

It's gonna be an exciting ceremony.

[B]

So inside the wedding venue. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. 12 hours earlier something bad has happened. We know something bad has happened, but we don't know what it is. Yeah. So the brides are popping champagne and doing that kind of stuff. And Christy and Michelle, who is Ally's mom, go up and look at Ally in her dress and they're like, oh my God, you're in your dress. It's so beautiful. I just love standing up here and just looking at everything. I Mean, it's just so beautiful. It's just so beautiful up here.

[A]

It is great. I love it up here. But by the way, for those who were concerned, who were wondering where I was for the past six hours, I was in a tanning bed, which is why I am now the color.

[B]

Good Lord, woman. Did you ask for the Trump special? You are bright. You are traffic cone orange. Okay, has the tanning community not caught up? Like, has the tanning news not caught up over there in Gallatin because it has progressed. You are look like a caution sign. What is wrong with. Who did that to you?

[A]

I like my tanning the way I like my coffee. Big and crazy and will shock America.

[B]

Good Lord. I was expecting her to make a presidential order or something. That was a lot.

[A]

I know. Oh, my God. That was. She really. She really came in hot with that tan theme of the wedding Tang. We make these do things a little bit differently. We do something. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something orange. So then outside, Jesse and the groomsmen approach the venue and they're walking in slow mo because what. What makes you more excited than watching Cole walking in slow mo towards a venue?

[B]

Cole is already walking in slow mo. That's how Cole walks. I mean, when you put Cole in slow mo, it's like. Like what? We don't have five hours.

[A]

Okay, listen, I've seen Cole walking in slow mo before. It's called the climax of Ghostbusters. Okay, We've seen it.

[B]

I've seen cold walking in slow mo before. It's called Cole walking.

[A]

Coal man walking. Oh, goodness.

[B]

So what time we got to be ready? 1:30. What time is it now? 12:38. What do we do till then? Drink beers.

[A]

The existential question of our time.

[B]

I love cold just what do we do?

[A]

52. Cole, this guy was a quarterback and he's like, what do we do with 52 minutes? Oh, my. Jeez. So then they start shotgunning beers. And then Jesse's like all nervous. They're. They. I can't.

[B]

So they're like getting a beer. Do you. I should know this, being a Texan, but I just have never understood it. It just looks like people ruining perfectly good can technology to get all over themselves and smell like bar rot the rest of the day. I mean, does it get you drunk or faster or something?

[A]

No, I don't think it's that. I think it's sort of like a gamification. I haven't shotgun too many beers because I think it's actually pretty stupid. Like, why not just Chug it like a real man. But I think the idea is that, like, because since you shake it up and you put the hole into the thing, I think the thing is like, it comes out so fast. It's like. It's like, you have to drink this because if you don't, you're gonna make a mess. It's like a challenge. Like, you better drink this all, because if you don't, you're gonna be the dribble door with all that beer on your chest, you know, because you're stupid, because you didn't drink it really fast. But I'm like, just put it all in a glass and just chug it, you know?

[B]

Yeah, don't be stupid. So Steven's like, hey, Jesse, why are you popping another beer already? And he's like, cuz I'm getting married. That's why. And it's not to Ronnie, so.

[A]

So he goes to another room and he's just like, gotta wrap my vows now. Dear Ali, when you first told me to build an octagon, I thought, wow, we're gonna finally do it. We're gonna join the ufc. And then he said, no, it's gonna go up vertically and it's gonna be behind us. When we got married, I thought, that's what I love about you. You always think outside the box. And then you said, I'm seeing what you're writing, and I'd like it to be a hexagon, not a box. Anyway, I love you so much. Hey, be quiet over there. You're vow stupid. Okay. We're shotgun beers.

[B]

Here's Jesse's vows. Did not make prenup. You're welcome.

[A]

Here's Jesse's vows.

[B]

What more do you want from me?

[A]

What do you think about the fact that I had an anxiety attack in a combine and then I jerked off afterwards?

[B]

Nothing? Okay, well, I do. I do too. So Jesse is in his writing room, which is hilarious. Why don't we get to hear the vows? Did we? And I just forgot. I want to hear them.

[A]

I vowed. That was my vow. My vow was block this out as quickly as possible to hear what those.

[B]

Vows are, because we don't hear much out of Jesse. So the groomsmen are. Groomsmen's. The groomsmen are fucking around and drinking and stuff. And Cole's like, I think it's funny that the shyest guy here has to stand up and dance in front of 250 people. I think that is Jesse's worst nightmare. It's his version of having a Female in this family without a prenup.

[A]

I think it's funny that 250 people have to watch the only guy in this cast. It looks like a grown booger dance on the dance floor. And that'd be you, Cole. So Jesse's like. Jesse's like. He's like, I can hear you guys talking. Hahaha. So then now we see Casey, and she's getting her. She's getting her glam done. And then she's like, cole, why am.

[B]

I seated next to your dad? To make sure you don't say stupid stuff. All right, Cole.

[A]

And then the men are getting dressed. So they get into the. The groomsmen. At first I thought, like. Like, oh, I guess. I guess it's hot. So they're gonna wait to put on their blazers.

[B]

They're all.

[A]

They're wearing, like, all white and like suspenders and then cowboy hats, but no blazers, which is really not a good look. First of all, it's like very Clockwork orange. It's like dumb work orange for them. And then on top of that, like, the blazers are flattering. Blazers would actually, like, this is not a good look for people. You know, like, you want to actually have the blazer to help help out the. You know, like, it's. It's. It makes you look handsome, I think. And they're all just. It just. They're all just standing there with their suspenders on. And I was like, who designed. Who made this look? Who said this should be the look for the groomsmen?

[B]

They don't have to look handsome because, look, there's only a limited population in Gallatin. We found that out when Stephen was like, I can't date. There's only one woman in Gallatin who am I going to date? I have to travel at least 700 miles to find a date. So, yeah, they're not. They don't care. They don't have to make no effort.

[A]

They just needed some canes. And they would definitely be like some, like, 1968 Stanley Kubrick vision. That's for sure.

[B]

Yeah. And Cole's like, well, this is my time to talk. Because Jesse, now they won't let me get up and talk during the wedding. They told Jake and I, they said, we can't have the mic during the wedding. You know why? Because we had the thing worked out. I was going to say, jake, what time's the wedding? And then he was going to say 1:30. And I was going to say, what time is it now? And he was going to say, 12:30. Eight now. I was going to kick the shit out of hill. I was going to kick the shit out of a hill.

[A]

There's a hill that's 15 minutes yonder. And I thought, I have just enough time to drive over to it, punch it, then drive back. And then I can cry and say I'm really tough.

[B]

So they all do a toast to Jesse and they're asking Stephen if he has a date. And he's like, oh, yeah, Cal is coming. She's coming. I'm sure of it. Cal will be here any minute. Any second, Cali is going to walk through those doors.

[A]

Yeah, Cal is definitely going to come, you know, because, like, Cal and I had a really good week. I love, I love that they're like, like, it's like, okay, we had like five or six days that we're good. So I think we're. I think it's gonna work out now. She didn't come to the wedding. He's like, and I honestly miss her, you know, because with wedding, love is in the air. And maybe this will be a last ditch effort for us getting back together. Okay, well, unfortunately, our last date was actually in a ditch. So this would actually be the second, truly the second to last ditch effort that was a ditch effort.

[B]

We agreed it'll be no drama. She has a relationship with Casey and Ally and that'll be different. You know, she wants to support the people that didn't call her when her sister died. And Casey's like, what? Cal is coming? Why? Like, oh, gosh, does mom know she's coming? She's like, no, mama doesn't know. So then Casey comes in. She's like, I don't know about this.

[A]

That's what she says about a lot of things.

[B]

Slowly falls over. Just like a tree being chopped down. Very slow. It's just like, I don't know about.

[A]

This is also what she said last week when they tried to change the logo for Cracker Barrel. So then, I don't know about this.

[B]

I'm taking this to social.

[A]

Cancel culture. Stupid. Unless it a plastic Cracker Barrel. Change the logo back.

[B]

What was offensive about the crack? I mean, I saw headlines, but I didn't read them because, I mean, it's the Cracker Barrel, you know, I mean, isn't the name offensive enough? What. What was in the logo that was so offensive or that people wanted to keep?

[A]

Well, I guess people really like the old man in the barrel, which I get. You know, but like, if you really look at the Cracker Cracker Barrel logo, it's a messy ass logo. It's like, not a very good logo. Let's. Let's be honest. Let's be.

[B]

It's not well done.

[A]

Let's be 100. It's not. It's not a good logo. But people like the guy sitting there, and I kind of get that he's like a mascot. And then the new one is just sort of like very corporate, but it's much cleaner.

[B]

No one can argue that. I don't. Oh. So it's like literally a cracker next to a barrel, and that's what they wanted to keep dark. This store is about celebrating crackers. We will keep the cracker next to the barrel. That's interesting. You know, I've been to Cracker Barrel many, many times, as you can imagine. I love the Cracker Barrel.

[A]

And.

[B]

And I never noticed that it was an old man sitting next to a barrel. It's just always so blurry. I can never tell what the fuck it is up there.

[A]

You know, sometimes when I go by the Cracker Barrel and I look at their logo, I was like, wait a second, was that Christy? Was that. Was that Christy McBee?

[B]

Now I got a bear full of crackers, but otherwise, no, that ain't me. So now Bridal Sweet.

[A]

She has literally, she's like, give me Cracker Barrel orange, please.

[B]

Candy Corn Barrel. Okay? If that was my restaurant, it'd be called Candy Corn Barrel. So they're in the bridal suite. Allie is in her dress, getting her glam, which, you know, in Gallatin just means someone putting a comb through her hair. And she stands, putting a ribbon.

[A]

She's like, I'm ready for my glam. Okay, we put the ribbon in your hair and you're all set.

[B]

Combing her horse's tail or whatever.

[A]

Her glam squad is, like, literally, like, it's like the police department. It's literally a squad car that shows up and puts a ribbon in her hair. Like, well, well, little lady, you're all set. You're ready to go.

[B]

Sending you out into the world, little lady. God, this town hates us. So the moms come in and they start crying and stuff. And Michelle, her mom, is like, oh, my God, you're so beautiful, honey. Christy, what about you? And they're like, whoa, Christy. Jesus Christ. Could you tone down the orange, Christy?

[A]

Like, wow, wow. Who got me this nice citrus? This citrus delivery? Oh, it's Christie. Sorry.

[B]

So I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. You look just perfect. Is That a ribbon in your hair? God, that's good. Did you get for your glam? That's good.

[A]

Wow. You really went all out with your glam. I see that ribbon you got there. It's real nice. She does look really pretty though.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Who?

[B]

She wasn't allowed, but now she is loud. Okay? Now the problem is they're both Russian, okay? And they're both blonde, okay? So they both have blue eyes. It's going to be very, very confusing. Okay? White Russians all look the same as we all know.

[A]

Mackie is like, yeah, I, I, I can see they look like two different people. It's like, no, but I just want to. I just want to. I just want to say one thing to you, Mackie. If I hold you down and I hold down a shift button, do you get bigger? He's like, I'm not an actual Mac.

[B]

So do a lot of computer peripherals not work with you? Not a Mackie. I'm not a Mac. Okay. Okay, now let's, let's check out the white chicks. Okay, this one is Galena. She's good. Okay. She's crazy. She's good. If she looks at you and you feel like there are lasers boring into the back of your brain and you're not really sure if she's drunk, and also you suspect that she might have been the one to vandalize your car. She's the one that we like. Okay. She's the one that can come in here.

[A]

This one's like, okay, this one's not good.

[B]

Don't they look exactly the same? Actually, no. They look nothing alike. They do. They look exact. I can't even tell the difference. Which one is this?

[A]

Here's, here's, Here's a little trick that we like to use. If one of them is walking in holding a chicken, that's Masha. If one of them is walking in holding a knife to a chicken, that's Galena. You follow?

[B]

Okay, that I can get. That I can get. Got it, Got it. So he's showing him the pictures and he's like, okay. Now it's going to be difficult because they both talk funny, too. They got Russian accents. He's like, okay. And they'll both put up a fight. Okay, you got tasers? Y' all got tasers? You might need tasers. Okay, now there's another crazy blonde lady coming in named Calla. Okay? She's more of a Fleshbot, and I'm in love with her. So she doesn't talk much, but you should try and make her talk. Just you make. She didn't speak. Make sure she didn't speak. Like rescue. Okay? You got that?

[A]

He's like, Now I'm. I am concerned. I think we saw an escaped convict get into your wedding.

[B]

What makes.

[A]

What are you talking about? It's just this orange blur that came through. I thought it was a jumpsuit. That was very concerning. Oh, that's just my mom. Don't worry about her.

[B]

That's my mom. Yeah, yeah. Orange is the new mom. Okay? That's my mom. Just leave her alone. We do have a future felon coming. That's my father. He's also allowed in, okay?

[A]

He's allowed. He's allowed if he decides to talk to you and act like he's 23.

[B]

That's my father trying to get inside your pants. Okay, he does that. So now everybody's mingling and it's like a soap opera ending, you know, it's like the big event at the end of the season. You know, it's the wedding. So everybody's there. The whole cast is there. Tess is walking around. Some say love. This is my blues version. Some say looo. H. It is a lake. I'm just changing it up. Changing it up. I do this at a lot of weddings.

[A]

Alright, everyone. Everyone gather round. I'm gonna. Let's shed a tear.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

How do you talk to an angel? How do you talk to someone who looks like coal? How do you talk to my adopted babies? You talk to him like mar.

[B]

Wow, Cole. You look mighty handsome, bud. Just kidding. Thanks, Mom. You look real nice, son. Real, real nice. Hey, Christy, you look real good, too. So do they have a few of you set out for kids to practice their parallel parking in the parking lot? Okay, that was. That was a good one. That was a good one.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. Being in the same room again as Steve gives me anxiety. I got real flush, you know, My cheeks turn red. Although with this orange, I just look kind of like A Just sort of look like a tequila sunrise at the moment. But anyway, I'm just. I'm just. I'm real nervous. Okay. And, you know, it's been 30 years, right. And, you know, it's just really difficult to see him again after. You know, it takes a lot of. A lot of. A lot of good memories come back. A lot of memories of me being like, hey, Steve, where you going? And him saying, shut up, woman. You don't get to know what I do. And I say, okay, I'll make some macaroni for later. God, those were the days.

[B]

Yeah, those were good ones. So then we see a picture of Christy and Steve on their wedding day. Can I just say, why did you ever marry Steve? That was. That is one of the people that's really aged to be more handsome than he was when he was younger. I'm not sure. Right. He didn't. Yeah, he was not very cute when he was younger. He looks much cuter now.

[A]

He had big sunken eyes. I mean, he really looked like Igor. Like, I felt like he was going to assist in, like, assembling a Frankenstein.

[B]

He looked like a convict.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah. He looked like a runaway convict, like, who hadn't been, you know, I don't know, nourished in a while. I mean, he looked weird. It looked odd. So, you know, good rescue for you. Not everybody.

[A]

Yeah, he did age well. He. Convict face. Resting convict face.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I think that Steve Sr. Is handsome. I think he's like a handsome.

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

You know, I think he's.

[B]

I think he's good looking. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, he definitely looked crazy.

[B]

But just to hear how Tessa talks, you know, because Tess is like, oh, wow, you should have seen Daddy Stephen back in the day. Holy guacamole. You better pray to an avocado because that is some holy guacamole. Let me tell you that. That man was fine as a. Fine as a hair on an old man's head. That man was good looking. Let's get cooking. I would work for free back in those days. I take those paychecks and I'd rip them right up and throw them in the air and say, who needs them? I'm being paid with my eyeballs. My eyeballs are paying me right now. We see a picture of him and he's like.

[A]

It's like, yeah, it's like wrinkle. Free Abe Vagoda. So then we go, what a rude.

[B]

Funny thing to say.

[A]

Well, you know, I love it. Just call it like I see it. So then the guests arrive. They're arriving off the bus. Everyone's arriving. Uncle Jimmy's there. Aunt Darla slutting it up with all the gas as usual.

[B]

Yes. And Darla's here. My favorite.

[A]

Yeah, she even. You know, she brought her sex swing and everything for afterwards. I was like, darla, inappropriate.

[B]

Darla, why are you putting your keys in that? That's not. That's a vase. I put your keys in the ball. Am I right?

[A]

Darla, are you putting on Stevie Nicks? Did you. Why? Okay, why are you wearing a teddy? This is a wedding. So they. They arrive, and they say, hi. And Tessa's there. She's like, hi, little friend. And then they go inside, and Casey's like, there's security out front. And Steven's like, yeah, I showed them pictures of both Masha and Galena, because guess what? I am the most pessimistic person about people crashing this party, and I will not allow it. So Casey's like, oh, good God, he's gonna get a mix up, because White Russians all look the same, don't they?

[B]

Already used that one. Already used that one. Sorry. I thought it was funny. So she's like, where's Khaled? Did you tell her the wrong time or something? And he's like, no, for sure she's coming. I know she's coming. She wouldn't just leave me.

[A]

This is.

[B]

This is Steven right now, and you are being the most pessimistic person when it comes to my family's wedding.

[A]

So now, at this point, I was like, okay, she'll have a big entrance. But then the wedding starts, And I was like, oh, Ms. Kala, really not coming? Do I actually have, like, a glimmer of care about this? Do I? For the first time all season, when they've asked, is Cala gonna come up? And for the first time, I. It's not even that I cared about Kala coming. It's just more like. I don't know. I felt like you should. I think it's an honor to be invited to, like, your landlord's wedding. So, like, you should. You should go.

[B]

Guys, I'm really sorry. I have to leave. I'm going to the lady who has my car lease. Yeah. Her son is getting married. So.

[A]

Yeah, I think. I kind of think feel like if you're. If you're asking this family to. To pay your rent, you should show up at the wedding. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah. Your rent and your car. Damn. So Chris. And then dump it at the wedding. Yeah. Make some drama. Like, what? What the hell? You've. You've worked so hard to be on this show. Now you're just gonna ditch the season finale? Calla, we deserve more.

[A]

But also, like, they had to, like, put out a place for you. And, like, that's just, like, you have to pay. They have to pay for the food. Look, they've got to pay for that mutton, okay? So it's just really. I thought it was just inconsiderate.

[B]

Those squirrels don't pay for themselves.

[A]

So maybe she heard there'd be no bruschetta. She's like, well, I am excited because it's my cheat day, so I'll be eating some bruschetta. They're like, well, about that. So Jesse did not sign off.

[B]

So well. It's a mother. Seeing one of my sons officiating my other son's wedding while my other sons are standing up there. It's a mother's dream. It really is perfect. Now I just think, which one of them's going to prison first? You know? I mean, God, it's great.

[A]

It's just so fun, you know, seeing them. Got my handsomest son. He's. He's getting married. My other handsome son's the officiator. My other son just sort of standing there like a bottle of Elmer's glue. And then the little one, well, he's still young, so I just am so proud.

[B]

So Ally starts making down. Making her way down the aisle. And Tess is like, maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have. Why is she singing a breakup song? Just roll with it, honey.

[A]

Just roll with it.

[B]

So she gets up to the front, and she's like, jesse, you didn't cry. You were supposed to cry. It's like, I tried. I tried to cry to you, and you looked like you were gonna leave me. So I've had never to cry again.

[A]

Yeah. So now it's time for the ceremony to begin. And Tess, like, watching pretty boy get married, I do get kind of choked up. Up. Because it's not. It's that. Is that another chapter? It's another. It's another milestone. It's another. Another yogurt they're gonna have to buy in that family, you know, you gotta consider your lady now. And just, like a lot of things happening, I get very emotional here. You want to hear me cry? This is how I cry.

[B]

I got dribbles coming out of my door. Jason, will you take Ally's hand and choose her alone to be your lovely wedded wife? Because we do not believe in polygamy in this family. Do you understand me?

[A]

And Allie, do you solemnly swear to forfeit your 12% of our family farm? You're not allowed to have it.

[B]

You can't have it, Al. You cannot have it. So Jesse's like, wow, we finally did it. We are getting married. I do. Ally, will you take Jesse alone as your lawfully wedded husband to heaven, hold, to love, and comfort him through all the good times and the bad, except the times when he's crying, talking about nervous breakdowns like a. As long as you shall live. Hopefully not in the city, because I don't want Jesse to be late for this work that Cole's always breaking combines at. Yes or no? Yes or no? Do not be pessimistic.

[A]

She's like, having been together for 12 years, the anchor our relationship has been the. Has been the fact that we've grown together now. Now that we're getting married, we're stronger than we've ever been. And nothing says a strong relationship than being in it for 12 years and saying, when the fuck are you gonna marry me? And then he does. He does it for the cameras. I'm just so happy.

[B]

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you. I don't know. Stupid people who are going to own 12% of my company. That's Jesse May. You may keep the woman who just robbed this family of 12%.

[A]

By the power vested in me and my vest. My vest has a lot of power in it. You are now husband and lady who's gonna steal the farm. Congratulations.

[B]

So they did it. Wow. Good old pretty boy wanting to make sure this was his forever girl. Took him dang near 12 years to figure it out, but I'm proud of him. Allie's beautiful on the inside and the outside. And there's no doubt that they're gonna be together for a couple years least. Couple years? Probably maybe a little bit more. I don't know. I'm guessing this one, she'll probably cheat first because, I mean, Jesse just don't have the gumption. But is that thing still on? Can we redo that? I should probably not say all that.

[A]

Okay, What I'm trying to say is don't trust the city girl. These people from the city are scary, and they want to change all their rules. And, Mitch, they are queer agendas.

[B]

Don't trust somebody with something in their house called a key. Your egg. You know, those things make coffee. That's ridiculous. Who makes coffee in a little robot pod? Don't trust her.

[A]

But I'm so happy for pretty boar because pretty boy got pretty girl. And if. I only wish that she could be here to enjoy her wedding, but unfortunately, she had to go off to a triathlon.

[B]

So now it's the reception, and guests are coming in, and Casey's changing her shoes.

[A]

And.

[B]

Did you hear.

[A]

Did you hear about the antenna wedding, by the way?

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Well, the ceremony was only okay, but I heard the reception was amazing.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Congratulations. I just said something funnier than anything that happened on the McBee dynasty. This.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Why So. I'm sorry, Ronnie. Sometimes you just gotta throw in a dad joke. Just.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Just to cleanse the palate.

[B]

So Steve takes Casey's bag for her, and Chrissy's like, are you kidding me? The whole time we were married, he never even carried a diaper bag. Now he's carrying a pink bag. I mean, what is happening?

[A]

A grown man carrying a pink bag with. How does a. How does a male carry a pink bag? That is what is happening is in the work. In the year of our Lord 2024, a man carrying something pink. I thought I'd never see. Live to see the day. Next time I get there's a wedding, I guess I'll just have to tan myself pink just so I could be held for once.

[B]

So outside, they're taking photos and doing all that. And let's see. Tessa is holding a fruity mix drink, and she's like, wow. Well, pretty weak, huh? This. This drink is what we call a cold because it's weak. Right? I guess they're trying to make us pace ourselves. Charging by the shot here. What kind of open bar is this?

[A]

Yeah, I. I heard that they actually batched these cocktails a few years ago. That's why it's called a coal, because it already peaked in another decade.

[B]

Hey, you know what I'm gonna call this drink? To the bartender, that means get the quarterback. Hey, pick a quarterback. Is this 10 cents? So Steven's like, calla was planning on coming, but she must change her mind last minute. So I guess this is the final straw. But I cannot imagine losing my best friend. I'm gonna cry. Hold on. Watch me grow. Make cry. And I just got a hemorrhoid. Okay, well, I tried it. I tried it.

[A]

Please, please don't tell me that Kala is your best friend, because I don't believe that for one second. And then we cut to Kala. Now she's having her liberation confessional. She's like, this whole relationship has been a roller Coaster ride. And I don't want to. I don't want any more of the drama. I've been buried by this drama for way too long, and I'm not going to the wedding. Not going to the wedding was a hard decision because that's like a free meal, and it's fancy and I could be on camera, but it's time to end it and jump off the crazy train. I'm done. Am I on a roller coaster? Am I on a train? Who knows? Maybe it's a train on a roller coaster. What I do know is that there are tracks not only just in my hair, but also on the thing that whatever I'm riding on is riding on. I'm out of here.

[B]

Yeah, you could call or text and say, you're not coming, you rude ass. What the hell? Rude? No manners, Kala. No manners.

[A]

Kala. Kala. These guys truly suck. We all agree with that. But is not a zero sum affair. Them sucking does not make you better. You suck, too. Goodbye. No one cares that you're leaving.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it's in your name. The least you could have done was give him a calla. Am I right? Am I right? You want a dad? Joke it up here. I can play with the best of them.

[A]

In honor of Kayla leaving the show. How can we be lovers if we can't be friends? How can we start over when the fighting memorand.

[B]

So back at the wedding, Cole's like, so Steve Cole's asking where Kala is, and he finds out she's not coming. He's like, well, I guess that's lit as f. What you should do. Party hard. Party hard, brother. And now they're like, where's Galina? Where's Galina? We hired the security guard. He didn't even get to kick anybody out yet.

[A]

Yeah. And this is truly the question that's on people's minds, because they already showed us Galina, what appears to be getting. Crashing her car and getting a dui. So we're like, come on, let's get to the good stuff. Right?

[B]

So then, Steven, this is the question I ask now. When I watch any show on tv, I don't even care what it is. I can be watching, like, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. And my only question is, where's Galena? Because this needs more Galena. The show needs her.

[A]

Yeah. Okay? This is a woman who's willing to have kind of like a fake dui. She's trying to do the Bravo thing. Okay? Let's. Come on. Let's up the Galena. So Then he's like, wow, Galena was so excited about coming to the wedding. Okay. So he calls up Aaron. Irina. I was calling her Aarona last week, but it's arena spelled with an e. And he's like, arena, Arena. Where is everything? Is everything okay? Where is your mother? She is the most pessimist person about being on time to a wedding. And she's like, no, it was a car accident. I don't know what happened. So then Stephen's like, oh, so now he's got to figure out what's going on.

[B]

Yeah. He's like, well, is she okay? She is. No. I mean, not if she got into this. I mean, she's like, seven minutes away from the video. God damn it. You are being the most pessimistic person about your mother right now. Arena, pull it together. So then the screen goes to black. Producers left the wedding to find Kalina using her GPS location. Be careful who you give access to your Facebook account.

[A]

This is very exciting. This is like when Laura Dern went to turn on the power in Jurassic Park. It's like, she's got to go out there, got to see what's happening out there. Don't get attacked. So they go out there, and then they find this G wagon. This is totaled. Looks terrible. And Galena is. Is there, and there's police cars, etc. And then the producer is like, we found her. We found Galena. He's like, okay, she. Is she going. Is she in an ambulance of some sort? Like, we don't know. Are there any queers? Yes. Well, mainly me. Okay, well, that's acceptable. Okay, just let me. Let me know what happens.

[B]

We're not allowed to say that word in this town anymore, sir. But I did see one crossing the road with a pink bag. Oh, that was just my father. Okay.

[A]

Times are changing.

[B]

He's just trying to get used to prison already. He's trying to get himself prepared for prison. Okay, let's.

[A]

So then we see body cam footage.

[B]

Of how many cars is Galena gonna up? Like, how many luxury cars does Galina get to trash this year? I love this woman's style.

[A]

Yeah. This is the. The insurance on the show really has to be off the. Like, off the. Off the charts. Yeah. Much like she was off the road. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

So we see body cam footage of this and it's like Galina sitting on like a rock. Her car is totaled and she's sitting on rocks. Like oh hello, I'm fine. I just had a little nervous breakdown.

[B]

And like a nervous breakdown. Can you stand up and face me please? We're gonna have to take you into prison. We do not believe in emotional well being issues here so we're going to take you in. You should never be talking about your emotions, especially to a police officer in Gallatin. Okay, get in the car. Will you take a sobriety test? She's like no, I don't think I will Be doing that today. Oh, did anybody ask Ginger to take a sobriety test when she lost head? No. We are allowed to lose head in this world, I think. No.

[A]

Okay, well, we're gonna have to take you down to the station and get a warrant for your blood. Okay. She's like, okay, that is found. Sounds actually quite nice. Thank you very much. So.

[B]

Oh, sounds good time. Sounds good time. Cannot wait to see your house. Cannot wait to see big house.

[A]

So then we go back to the wedding, and Nicole is like, hey, why aren't you drinking? He's like, oh, I'm gonna start right now. He's like, okay. I feel like I'm the only one getting drunk, like, always. Like, don't worry. I plan to keep catch up, if that's possible. So then Cole is just being annoying. He's just like a drunk, annoying guy at a wedding. He's like, oh, wow. Ally looked real happy walking down the aisle. She was smiling the whole time mom was crying. That was the only time I ever got emotional. But mainly because I accidentally finished my monster energy drink a little bit too early, and I didn't know what to do with myself.

[B]

It's kind of weird. I've never been emotional before. And they show Cole's beating up the hill, and then Cole being like, do not tell me I'm crying. I'm too tough to cry. I'm too tough to cry.

[A]

That was the best part of the season. That was the best.

[B]

I hope they show that clip every.

[A]

Episode because I was dying.

[B]

So then production calls, and Galena was booked at the station. So now Steven calls Irina and tells her that her mom is not injured. And he's like, just try to stay calm. No one here knows. But she's okay. Okay, now I'm gonna go tell everybody at the wedding, but I just want you to know she's not hurt. She is not hurt. Okay. Okay, I gotta go. I gotta go, weepy pants. Okay. Crying your own dime, lady.

[A]

So then we see, like, you know, Galena's being taken into. Into the police station. And then Jesse is just, like, making a dumb speech. He's like, there's no other group Ally and I would rather be with tonight. So thank you, everyone. Then we see, like, Galina being put into a jail cell. And they're like, we're just going to have you sit here for a second, okay? We're going to. While we wait to see in your blood, we're just keep you in a. In a jail cell. So enjoy.

[B]

Oh, what a lovely, lovely living Room. What beautiful place. I cannot believe you treat me like this after we have moved in together. Ma', am, this is the big house, not my house. Oh, well, you tricked me to get in here, so I guess I will. I will wait. Lovely place. Do you have couch? I could use couch in here. This is very, very hard to sit. Very hard to sit.

[A]

So then Jesse and Ally are doing their first dance and they're like cutting into a. A cake. Their wedding cake looked like. Was it just like two bundt cakes stacked on top of each other? Did you notice that they got cakes.

[B]

From Everything Bunt the Cake? Which is a great store by the way. Have you ever eaten their stuff at Everything Bunt the Cake?

[A]

Everything Bunt the Cake.

[B]

No, it's actually really good and I know it because they do gluten free cakes. And so with my gluten free family, I gotta go get the gluten free. Good. So that's what we have every niece or sister birthday. And they're delicious. But I was surprised to see that as their wedding cake because the show's called the McBee Dynasty. I thought they were gonna have like a ten tier cake. You know, it's supposed to be like a show about car washes and hedge funds and stuff. And they're like, well, we bought a store bought everything but the cake. So enjoy that.

[A]

Yeah, I was. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. I think it's technically called nothing bunt cake, which is funny.

[B]

Oh yes, that makes more sense. Yes, Nothing bunt cake. Because I never remember. Right.

[A]

Well it's. Yours is better because nothing bunt cake sounds actually like you're saying this is a nothing but cake and they do have a wedding cake option. That's what they got. And it. That is. You would think. Think that I just would think they would go for like a traditional like 10 story high wedding cake. It was just sort of random and funny that they got this relatively humble cake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For their wedding.

[B]

Yeah. So but you know, do do that wedding on a budge, I guess. But that's good.

[A]

They put all that.

[B]

That's how I always. In mine.

[A]

Yeah. I mean there's nothing against that cake, but clearly they spent the lesser budget on that sweet hexagon he built.

[B]

Yeah, but this is Bravo. You know what? Like we need a better cake. Like there was a G wagon that just got run into a tree because someone was having a bad day. Like I need a bigger cake, dude.

[A]

They literally. It probably realistically was that Bravo's paying for this wedding and Bravo's like, we ran out of money because we've had to do so many vehicular repairs all season long.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

You're buying your own cake. And Jesse's like, I don't know. Nothing but cake.

[B]

Guys, let's go back to random gay things. So Casey comes to Cole, and she's like, oh, I met your cousin. Oh, yeah? What'd she say? She said that you, when you were little, your favorite color was pink. What, are you gay or something?

[A]

And so then Stephen. Stephen looks at them, but then he looks away in case. He's like, Stephen thinks we're talking about him because he said that Kyle's name card is on the table and she's not there. And I think I better go over there and eat my food before they take it. So. Okay, bye. Wait.

[B]

Well, it's kind of weird that she's not in the wedding party, right? It's just next to Stephen. Well, wait. Steven's in the wedding party?

[A]

I don't understand the seating arrangement here. I don't get. Moby is cold. Is Cole sitting at another table or is he.

[B]

He's with the groom's table, right? Don't all the grooms sit together? All the bride. Bridesmaids sit together. So if you're.

[A]

I hate this eating chart. I hate the. I hate. I hate the cake. I hate the seating chart. I hate this wedding. I'll just say it right now. I don't like how they disappoint people here. I hate this whole thing. I don't like how they chose to do that. I don't like being confused on this point. I don't feel like it's right. I don't think it's fair to us. The logistics are too confusing.

[B]

So Casey goes back to Steven, and she's like, why am I uncle in here? Did she come? And he says that she wrecked her G wagon, is now is in jail. So Casey immediately runs up to Cole. She's like, I just found out Galina's going to jail. She crashed her car. And Cole's like, oh, my God, everybody, Jesse Galena got in a car accident on the way here.

[A]

And then, you know, it just, like, it goes around, like, so fast all around the wedding. And they're like, oh, my God. Wow. So then, like, that's. The car's total. So Steve Senior is, like, talking to Irina and, like, you know, finding out if she's homie or whatever. And Irina's like, she's almost home. They just gave her a ticket for reckless driving. And even's like, so she wasn't drinking or anything? She's like, no, they took her blood because she refused the field sobriety test. But they don't. First, they don't pursue the intoxication charge. They said they think that there's something going on with them. Some.

[B]

Yeah. So she wasn't drunk. That's a big surprise. I thought she was shitfaced.

[A]

Here's what I think. I think Steven sent a whole bunch of free car wash vouchers to that police station, and suddenly Galena is free as a. A free thing.

[B]

Oh, you think so?

[A]

That's my conspiracy theory is that Steve. Steve McBee paid them off with car wash vouchers. She was. I'm gonna say she was. She seemed shit phased.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Galena. Because even when she's drunk, I don't think she seems drunk. But, you know, I'm trying. So back to police station. We see the officer telling arena on the phone, she's getting to a point where she's not tolerating so stress well. She just asked to marry a sink in the cell. So.

[A]

She said something about, like, she knows all the secrets that. About the sink, and she's not afraid to say it on camera, but we're like, it's just a sink.

[B]

I just told her we're gonna send her home, and she told me she would kill my chickens if I broke up with her. So I'm not really sure what that meant, but could you come get her? We're terrible.

[A]

Every time we go to bring her a little snack, she's cursing at the sink, calling it a prostitute and a. And a slut, and we don't really understand.

[B]

So Steve's like, well, trust me, we're not gonna leave her at the time of need. I mean, she's the first one to drop anything for the McBees. We're gonna take care of your mama real good. Like, remember that time almost built a house with her? And then I had my sons go over there and move all her out into a place she didn't know she was moving? We treat people good here in the McVie family. Don't you worry, toots.

[A]

Listen, we're not gonna leave her in her time of need. So please sit back and relax and know that no one from this wedding is gonna go to that jailhouse to get her out. Okay, great. We're not even gonna save a slice of cake for her, but we will not abandon her in her time of need.

[B]

Next up, we see Galena running back into her house, kind of oddly, like, running back to the house, like, kind of hobbling up the steps, and she just can't wait to see Irina. It's like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what happened. I think I was so hyped up. And then I got into a love affair with Sync, which was kind of crazy. No garbage disposal. I mean, thank God that one ended early. You know, that could have been awkward for me.

[A]

She's. Irina's like, this is not okay. You scared the shit out of me. Like, you need help. Like, oh, I'm so disappointed. I'm. I was really excited. She's like, I don't care about this wedding. You literally almost died, Mom. And then we see, like, Galena being. And we see like, there's. She's all cut up as. But those. Like, was that like a cut, like, from the accident that we saw on her skin? Because they do a close up.

[B]

Yeah, she's trying to cover her arm. And then we see something like a cut or something on her and. Or scars, I think, because they weren't bloody. But, yeah, she's trying to cover something up. And so Galena's like, well, being invited to wedding is proof you are part of family. Right? But I was so worried about the marsh on my way there that. I don't know, next thing I see is car, broken window, you know? And so Irina's like, mom, I don't know what I'd do without you. You know, they all have each other, and I don't have anyone. It's just so sad watching her kid cry. And she's like, but I'm so disappointed. I wanted to be part of family. And she goes, mom, you are part of your. Your family's right here. You know, you do everything for them, and then you almost kill yourself over it. And I don't even live here. I'm 700 miles away. I can't help you. And it's my last night here, and all you care about is a stupid wedding. And then this happens, you know? And I felt so bad for her. I didn't even think about that. Like, it's her last night in town, and her mom's like, sorry, goodbye, going good, going to wedding.

[A]

Know. And Galina's like, I promise I wasn't trying to kill myself. Which made me think, like, ooh, there might. Is there a larger story going on here? And yeah, this poor girl. She seemed like the only sane, rational person on this entire show. And Gina is just saying that she just needs to refocus for her daughter and for herself, and she needs to move on. And, you know, she's like, I don't think people realize how much I went through with. With Brooke and Masha and Steve and. And am I really a belonging part of their family? I may be time to cut ties with them. I'm like, yes, please cut ties with these.

[B]

Don't you dare cut ties with them. Are you crazy? No, ma', am. You are not going to cut ties with them. I will see you back at work next year. You get your ass back to work. Ma', am, please leave.

[A]

So there's no reason to recap the show any longer. Please go. Go. Get out of here.

[B]

Jeez. So, so basically, we go back to the wedding, and Cole's holding a little baby girl. And he's like, see, look, I could be. Maybe a good day in case. Look at me holding this little baby girl, would you? You watch your fucking mouth. No one works harder than Steven in this family. You're yawning. Baby call.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Like, look, I'm gonna be a good girl. Dad.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

Dad.

[B]

Girl. Dad.

[A]

No. You're like a beat.

[B]

Stephen. Stephen. And I raised four bits. Oh, sorry. I didn't let you finish there.

[A]

I just know it's okay. Not.

[B]

So I kept on.

[A]

No, keep going, please. I beg of you.

[B]

Steve and I raised four good sons. One of them was just stood up. The other one was wasted before the vows were even said. The other one, I don't really know much about him. Does anybody know much, much about Braden? We never talk about him much. And Jesse's hot, so, you know, we did a good job. So then we see the sparkler, the great sparkler thing instead of rice. My sister did this at her wedding where everybody was given sparklers to, you know, do instead of rice. So they all go through this arch of sparkles, which is such a pretty idea. Unfortunately, we bought ours at some, like, janky fireworks stand. And they looked like sticks off of trees. I mean, they were huge. And there was a lot of fire. There was so much smoke. I'm surprised we didn't burn my sister to death. And then we couldn't even see her leaving. It was like a magic show. There was some.

[A]

Oh, that's so hilarious.

[B]

It was violent. It was a violent day. So now it's two weeks later back at the farm. Cattle's running, meat's trimming, cowbonds cutting. And now it's time for a meeting with the boys.

[A]

All right, everyone, let's gather in the barn. Okay? All right, everyone, I want everyone to cross your arms because that. Okay, I will cross my arms. Jesse, you put your hands on your hips. And Cole, you just sort of stand there in a strange position because you don't know which one you're gonna do. All right, Great. You all ready? Now, I'm about to tell you all something very serious. And try not to get distracted by the adorable cat that's jumping around behind me this through this entire scene, okay? Can you do that? Can we all do that? Cole, you're looking at the cat. I know you're looking at the cat. I can see it on your eyes. I'm not looking at anything.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're okay. You're dangling a toy for the cat. Please focus on this, okay? I just got a call. It's about something I've been keeping from y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

It's dad. Dad. And I didn't want to make it a big deal in case this problem went away, but it's looking like it's not going to go away. It turns out. We got the tests. Cole is actually our brother. We were hoping that maybe DNA wise, turns out he's not related to us. We could kick him out. He's one of us. Sorry, everyone. That's the bad news.

[B]

We were hoping the father of Cole with that old knobby tree with the big hole in the trunk down the road, but unfortunately it was dad, so, yeah, Cole's ours, so. Also, we've been under FBI investigation. No bigs. You know, the. You know, the crop years. Those crop years. 2018 to 2020. And turns out we turned over all our records. We. Hopefully not the Stevie Nicks. No, Cole, the paperwork. Oh. And they went through them. And there may be prison time involved. For who? For dad. For doing what? Crop, Cole. Crop. Not soybeans. A whole. Those. Them's my babies. Girl, dad, Soybean Dad.

[A]

Now, Cole, things have already gotten bad. Apparently, word got out that your favorite color when you were a child was pink. And we are already pretty embarrassed as a family about that. And then next thing you know, Dad's holding the pink bag. Things are going downhill for us. Okay?

[B]

But guys. And it is spreading. Do you understand? Get the town out here.

[A]

If you want to keep your soybeans, you will keep. You'll put up a straight wall. Okay? Now, since all of our. Oh, Jesse's. Like, since all of our names are on the business. Is it just that involved? Yeah, it's just dad. Okay, well, how long have you guys known about this? For the last year or so. Dad is under the worst pressure I've ever seen him in my entire life, and he has not been the same, and it's taken a toll on him. Okay. I don't know what will happen with the rain result. We have no power. Like, literally, we actually lost power to the combine. So if you want to drive to the next town, you have to wait a little bit.

[B]

Jesse is pretty calm for someone who just found out their brother who was trying to force a prenup on his wife. On the brother's wife. That's so ridiculous. He's making this whole big stink this whole time about a prenup. And meanwhile, Dad's probably up the business for good. Q. I would be so pissed. And also to let somebody get married and not tell them, like, hey, my dad might be going to jail. Who knows how this might leak out on all the rest of us? Like, don't you think you should maybe tell the person who's about to get married?

[A]

Yeah, you would think up. Yeah. So Cole is like, I'm scared to death about this. This is the worst thing I've seen happen in my life. Well, next to the time that Hill tried to sass off to me and I had to punch in this face. Didn't like that very much.

[B]

Now, it's not the worst thing the family scene. The worst thing the family scene was my mama's birthday when I got in a Speedo and did a cannonball into the lake. But it's pretty bad for me.

[A]

So Jesse is, like, hearing, this is a lot to take in at once. And now it all makes sense. And then we see flashbacks of, like, all season of Stephen saying things like, there are more things going on than you could even realize. The stuff that I'm dealing with, dad, you don't even realize. You don't even know when the FBI comes to knock it and returns that dad's under. Under investigation. That's a lot we have to do. And you don't even realize what we're doing back there. It's a secret, by the way. You don't know what I just said. Like, he. But also, Stephen is the type of person who. To walk around and they'll always say that no matter what, even if there was no investigation, like, you don't even know what I'm dealing with. I'm doing a lot over here. I'm doing.

[B]

I'm. Open up a car wash. There is so much going on behind the scenes that you don't even know. So now thunder rumbles and we go to home footage, and we see Casey and Cole going to the hospital. Have their little bundle of disappointment in its future. I see a lot of disappointment in your future, kid. Good luck. And then we see Cole. He's like, yeah, there's a lot of tough times, but when I hold Blair, everything goes away.

[A]

Yes. Like hope for humanity. And then Cole is. He calls, smiling with that big gap tooth smile of his. And then everyone's hugging, holding the baby, sweet little baby Blair. And then Stephen is telling us that, like, slating, Sentencing is slated for March, but it's being pushed back to. To May in downtown Kansas City federal courthouse. And my end goal is to make sure that this farm remains here not only for our kids, but our kids kids and our kids kids and our kids goats and things like that. And to carry on this next generation and to have a legacy. It puts one hell of a burden on my shoulders to keep this family farm alive.

[B]

Yep. I want this jail not to only send my father to prison, but all of his grandchildren. And I'm going to make it happen. You watch. And that's it. And then we see on screen updates. Galena still working for the McBees. I knew she wouldn't quit. Steven Jr. And Cal are done. He hasn't been on a second date with anybody. Cole and Casey have not made plans to get married, and he hasn't been back to Nashville. And Jesse and Allie have been living together, and they welcome their baby girl named Summer.

[A]

And Steven Senior pleaded guilty to insurance fraud, and he's waiting on sentencing. He's facing up to 30 years in prison, which you might have already known because Steven said a million times he's.

[B]

Facing 30 years after prison.

[A]

So.

[B]

Now let me tell you one thing about prison. They got doors that don't dribble. See you next year. And that brings us to the end of the McBee dynasty, season two. What a show. I hope it wins everything this year. I hope it wins Emmys. Let's give it a Grammy. That's some good songs, too.

[A]

They had a lot of songs. Well, yeah. That's the end of McBee dynasty. Glad that for those who are the fans of it, I'm glad you guys had it.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Those who. Those who love it, love it. And so I'm happy for those who love it. And another show. Another show is done. So thanks, everyone for being here and listening to it. And now we just pivot into the false lay on Bravo.

[B]

Yeah. Here we Go, everybody have a good one. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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It's always a good time when you're wasting time with Bravo. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey running a business means checking a lot of boxes.

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