Watch What Crappens – Episode #2992: RHOM S7E14 “Cruise Controlling”

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: September 8, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie recap and dissect Season 7, Episode 14 of The Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM), titled “Navigating Friendships,” where the housewives embark on a luxurious (and drama-packed) Virgin Voyages cruise. The hosts revel in the intricate web of friendships, rivalries, and insecurities, delivering their signature blend of praise, ridicule, and deep-dive analysis on all the Bravo-staple antics—this time, with plenty of nautical puns and cruise humour.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Double Cast Trips and Production Value

• The hosts are amused and impressed by the rapid-fire series of cast trips within the season:
  • "This is the episode where they have just gotten back from a cast trip and now they're going on another cast trip. I don't think we've ever had back-to-back cast trips." (03:24, Ben)
• Ronnie notes the show's elevated production and budget compared to other franchises:
  • "Coming from going to the Fleur de Lis boutique in Orange County with like Emily and Shannon... we really need this. This is like a very important. OK. I need to, I need to see Miami." (35:01, Ronnie)

2. Gertie and Stephanie's Fallout

• Gertie reflects on lingering drama and exhausting cast dynamics post-plane ride drama:
  • "Deep down, I feel like that trip was a lot for me. A lot. A lot of money I spent on a private plane." (04:07, Ben as Gertie)
• Stephanie attempts to rebrand her approach as “nautical Steph”—chill, calm, and unbothered for the cruise:
  • “My whole vibe for this cruise is nautical. Steph, you're going to hear that word a lot because that's going to be what makes me really charming and hilarious this episode. Nautical, Steph. Nautical.” (06:25, Ben as Stephanie)

3. Marisol and Julia’s Cafe Scene

• The hosts revel in Marisol's signature mockery and playful shade about Julia’s new hairstyle and Martina’s (Marty’s) family dynamic:
  • "Marisol comes and goes, 'Oh, I love the hair.' Which is her way of saying, God, I hate that hair." (08:42, Ben)
  • Julia shares a moving story of her daughter finally saying “I love you”:
    • "It's almost like someone tells you I love you for the first time, and I’ve been waiting so long for it." (12:16, Ben as Julia)
  • Marisol, ever the jokester, pivots conversation to group dynamics, sidecar cocktails, and being “banished from Richard's kingdom.” (13:01-14:19)

4. Kiki and Father Loreste’s Sushi Scene

• Kiki’s strained family relations and humor as a defense mechanism:
  • "You traumatized me when I was young. You wouldn't be so great today if I hadn't traumatized you. Where's my thanks?" (17:24, Ronnie as Kiki’s dad)

5. Lisa and Jody’s Stiff Romance

• Hosts joke about Jody’s “locked jaw” and emotional stiffness, with Lisa openly longing for marital security:
  • “You don't want me to put too sexy in my suitcase, right? Because you don't want people coming on to me, right Jody?” (18:44, Ben as Lisa)
  • Ben and Ronnie lampoon the performative nature of Lisa and Jody's relationship for the cameras and their communication breakdowns. (19:22–21:11)
  • The Lisa/Larsa texting feud, Jody’s involvement, and double standards with other cast spouses:
    • "Jody says, I had an agreement from Larsa that she would no longer bring me up and cause drama. So I texted her, larsa, what are you doing? I thought we had an agreement." (21:11, Ben)

6. Stephanie and Anastasia (Anastasia Beverly Hills)

• Stephanie idolizes business titan Anastasia and draws (dubious) equivalencies between their businesswoman lifestyles.
  • "There is no way that this lady, who is a famous cosmetics person... is, like, looking at Stephanie's Instagram and is like, 'Oooh I love the way that she is running this generic Instagram full of selfies.' I need to know how she does it?" (24:41, Ben)
• Stephanie contemplates motherhood and freezing her eggs, leading to a hilarious exchange:
  • “I have not developed parent Steph yet as a personality, I'm just still working on nautical Steph.” (29:26, Ben as Stephanie)
• Anastasia espouses business “shark vs. food” metaphors; hosts poke fun at RHOM logic and real-life business acumen:
  • "You're the shark or the food. That's what she says." (30:41, Ben)

7. Boarding the Virgin Voyages Cruise

• Ben and Ronnie highlight the cruise’s luxury and the hosts’ genuine cruise envy:
  • “I was really jealous.” (34:21, Ben)
• Ronnie mocks the overenthusiastic cruise greeters:
  • “This is an aggressive greeter. OK. I will say that they are happy. I've never seen a greeter like this.” (33:32, Ronnie)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I'm just concerned as to how long nautical Steph might be with us. Depending on the drama. We'll see. I don't know about nautical Steph. Jury's out on nautical Steph.” (54:06, Ronnie)
• “The delivery can improve, but the package kind of still sucks. Like, I think he should work on the package.” (54:47, Ronnie)
• "If you still get poop in a box, it doesn't matter what time it arrives. It's still poop in a box." (54:52, Ben)
• "I know many badass women in business who really, like. Yeah, in business, they get tough as nails... But they know how to actually talk to their friends....” (31:08, Ben)
• “Are we allowed to cruise jail? Can we do 22 minute dance party in cruise jail?” (43:19, Ben)
• “You cannot offer a flight and then say, people will be left behind. Like, Marisol instead of just was like, okay, and then just, like, doesn't show up the next day.” (61:39, Ben)

Key Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:25 | Start of episode content, Ben & Ronnie open the recap | | 03:24 | Opening discussion about back-to-back RHOM cast trips | | 04:07 | Gertie and Stephanie process the Spain trip drama | | 06:25 | Stephanie invents “Nautical Steph” | | 08:42 | Marisol & Julia’s “hair and cake” cafe scene | | 13:01 | Marisol pivots convo to group drama and cruise anxieties | | 16:00 | Kiki confronts her dad—family trauma, generational humor | | 18:44 | Lisa and Jody’s suitcase/jaw/love life banter | | 21:11 | Lisa & Jody talk Larsa drama and “textgate” | | 24:41 | Hosts mock Stephanie’s Anastasia Beverly Hills connection | | 29:26 | Stephanie’s motherhood anxieties; “parent Steph” | | 31:08 | Ben challenges “boss lady” business talk as a friendship excuse | | 33:32 | Arrival and antics aboard the cruise ship | | 35:01 | Hosts praise the episode’s visual spectacle | | 36:47 | Adriana’s birthday/aging crisis | | 40:39 | “Bringing the group together by splitting up” | | 43:05 | Cruise “therapy exercise” and group division | | 46:25 | Larsa deals with seasickness, Kiki wants group healing | | 50:31 | Larsa & Lisa’s fractured friendship, papparazzi allegations| | 54:06 | Nautical Steph introspection, delivery/package metaphors | | 55:19 | Nautical Steph “gone overboard,” tequila shots, and aftermath | | 58:14 | Stephanie’s performative dinner distress | | 61:39 | Stephanie & Marisol’s confrontation and failed reconciliation | | 63:20 | Alexia reveals Marisol’s additional grievances | | 63:48 | Stephanie’s warning: “if you’re coming for me, hit the bullseye” |

Detailed Recap of Episode’s Closing Drama

Stephanie vs. Marisol: Plane Drama Debrief (58:14–63:48)

• Stephanie tries to elicit an apology from Marisol over the “bossy plane” issue; Marisol stands firm:
  • “Anything that I said, I’m not taking back anything I said about you, and I’m not taking back the fact that I’m not going to apologize to you for not going on your fucking plane.” (60:36, Ronnie as Marisol)
• Stephanie refuses to own up to her perceived “bossiness,” redirecting blame to Julia for “how things were relayed.”
• Marisol, unflappable, offers a “new start, Mighty Mouse,” but Stephanie realizes she’s up against a formidable foe:
  • “If you're going to come for me, you better hit it, Bullseye. Because when it's my turn, I don't miss.” (63:20, Ben as Stephanie)
• Alexia, in the mudroom eight hours later, reveals to Stephanie that Marisol’s grievances are even longer than revealed, intensifying the animosity moving forward.

Tone & Style

• The hosts blend sincere analysis, exaggerated impressions, and sharp wit in their Bravo coverage.
• Frequent asides, “in-character” jokes, and housewives impressions keep the tone casual, irreverent, and occasionally absurd.
• Running bits include “nautical Steph,” “cockies” (Marisol’s cocktail malapropism), and cruise puns.

Conclusion

Watch What Crappens continues to deliver a playful but insightful breakdown of RHOM’s grandiose drama aboard the Virgin Voyages cruise. Ben and Ronnie relish the elevated production, over-the-top personalities, and absurd social jockeying, asking listeners to revel in the spectacle (and sometimes, the lunacy) of back-to-back cast trips, “boss lady” egos, and the relentless pursuit of group harmony... or at least, a truce until the next cocktail.

For a full Bravo context (and maximum laughs), this is a must-listen if you want to keep up with the Miami housewives’ most dramatic (and nautical) season yet.