Watch What Crappens: Below Deck S12E16 Part Two — "French Disconnection" (Episode #3001, Sept 16, 2025)
Overview
In this energetic and irreverent recap, Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam break down the second part of Below Deck Season 12's finale, "French Disconnection." The hosts bring their trademark sass and Bravo fandom to mock, analyze, and affectionately roast the cast's messy final days aboard. From a tense bridge crossing to emotional farewells, shifting ship romances, and classic Below Deck chaos, Ben and Ronnie dissect every hook-up, heartbreak, and hilariously petty moment, while speculating on what works (and doesn’t) in this season’s "hoe-heavy" dynamic.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Bridge Crossing & High Stakes Final Morning (03:30-05:30)
- Fraser's Wake-Up Call: Fraser awakens to a “three-page long letter from Rainbow,” voicing frustrations. Ben jokes, “No one's getting fired on drop-off day. All right? Shut up. No one likes a tattle, darling.” (03:42)
- The Bridge Anxiety: The hosts dramatize the bridge passage: “Going through that bridge, we could lose hands, we could lose heads. We've started with eight women. We want to end with eight women.” (04:08)
- Captain Carrie’s Deck Team Doubt: Ronnie notes the discrepancy: “Really? Because it hasn't looked like it. Didn't one of them just drop the shackle—too much last week? Jess.” (05:10)
2. Guest Goodbyes & Fraser's Crew Management (06:05-06:38)
- Preparing for Departure: As the crew changes into their whites and guests leave, Ben highlights Rainbow’s unique goodbye: “She waves like this…like, ‘No more. I don’t want any more of you.’” (06:21)
3. Jess & Barbara’s Relationship Drama, Lesbian Aspirations & New York Hopes (06:38-07:42)
- Jess's Plans & Self-Reflection: Jess discusses visiting Barbara and her hopes for the future, “I always look for a partner, someone who likes children, because that's what I want one day. To be treated like the child that I am.” (07:15. Notable quote.)
- Lesbian Stereotypes, Playfully Roasted: Ben teases, “Holy, holy lesbian Batman. Can you calm down? You’re talking about having children with Barbara.” (07:32)
4. Tip Meeting & End-of-Season Rituals (07:42-09:27)
- Captain Carrie Recaps the Season’s Shenanigans: “At the start of the season, there were some kinks, alright? Mostly people peeing on each other in bathrooms, banging on the ground, guys sleeping naked and waving their wieners at the camera crew…” (07:44)
- Anthony’s Tiny Jeans & Crew Banter: The hosts riff on Anthony’s fashion, “I have never seen smaller jeans. I didn't even know they created that size. I mean, it looks like you’re wrapped in a cigarette wrapper, right?” (08:38)
- Tip Payout and Celebratory Drinks: Carrie hands out tips and the crew gears up for post-season festivities.
5. Fort Climb & Production Choices Satirized (10:06-12:43)
- Montages and “Glamour”: Ronnie mocks the usual “glamorous” getting-ready montages: “Today they just showed Jess, like, running her brush through her hair very slowly. It was like, ‘Brushing my hair very slowly. Oh, the glamour.’” (09:40)
- Fort Excursion Overkill: Ben and Ronnie lampoon the franchise’s love of forcing crews to climb scenic lookouts and forts, contrasting with “last season’s tortoise sanctuary overkill.” (12:07-12:43)
6. Jess & Barbara: Derailed Connection (13:28-15:17)
- Barbara’s Trauma & Trust Issues: Barbara opens up: “I think I realized that I’ve got a lot of traumas…my last relationship, she cheated on me.” Jess doesn’t quite get it, Ben notes. (13:32, 14:30)
- Hosts' Analysis: Ronnie: “Sometimes people...we tell ourselves, 'Oh my god, there must be something wrong with me. I've got trust issues.' No, you're just with an untrustworthy person.” (14:30. Notable insight.)
7. Crew’s "Last Supper," Flirtations, and Not-Quite Romances (15:46-17:21)
- Dinner Dynamics and Snarky Observations: The hosts highlight Celine and Kyle’s “we’ll stay friends” talk, and the lack of believable, lasting connections: “Not that anybody’s surprised, but usually at the end of these shows, they at least pretend. I mean, we need that on this show.” (16:32)
- Kyle’s Nonchalance and Celine’s Indecision: Ronnie notes, “So, of course now she’s gonna go bang Damo because he’s saying he doesn’t care…” (17:21)
8. Club Night, Make-Outs & Performative Bad-Boy Energy (21:32-23:21)
- Damo and Celine’s Makeout: Damo confesses, “I'm not a good person. Everything I do is...we know, by myself.” (22:07)
- Hosts Call Out Performative Drama: Ben: “He does it with a huge smile on his face. He's one of those that's like, 'Aren't I charming that I'm so honest with you?' Not really.” (22:19)
9. The Unfulfilled Fraser/Damo Gay Storyline (23:54-25:12)
- Ronnie’s Discontent: “I resent that the producers didn’t even bother giving us a Fraser feeling like being toyed with gay storyline…They just abandoned it. I would have enjoyed seeing that.” (23:54)
- Ben’s Take: “Fraser’s a bot. He doesn’t have any emotions. The only time he ever cries is when someone tells him he did a good job making a bed.” (23:35)
10. Final Morning: Awkward Goodbyes, Lube on the Floor, and Zero Closure (28:58-30:36)
- Kyle’s Jealousy and Awkward Make-ups: “Kyle texts Celine: ‘You played me so bad. It's horrible.’ And she's like, ‘Oh, okay, you want to have sex now? Okay.’ So then they go and have sex.” (28:58)
- Rainbow and Celine’s Non-apology: “No, I'm not sorry…No, you're not. So you're not sorry.” (29:52)
11. End-of-Season Send-offs & Roast Recap (31:04-36:28)
- Goodbyes—The “Wart Journey”: Ben eviscerates Kyle’s lack of growth: “He's just gone from wart to warts. Not the warts. I'm just saying he has the warts. He is a wart-filled person on a wart journey.” (32:57)
- Sentimental Recaps Mocked: The exhaustive monologues and crew hugs are playfully dismissed as overdone.
- Captain Carrie's Farewells: Standard “you did great this season” lines to the remaining crew, including a dig at Fraser’s new bob haircut: “Wish you’d run this bob by me because I’m not really sure how that’s going to work.” (34:59)
12. The Season’s Verdict & Next Steps (36:28-end)
- Assessment of the Season: Ben: “We've had hoey seasons before, but this one to me just did not work…They need balance. We need some hobat…some balance in the Hodam, guys.” (36:18)
- Excitement for Next Season (Below Deck Med): Despite a lackluster finish, both hosts are hopeful for the next iteration.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Fraser’s Frustration: “No one's getting fired on drop off day. All right? Shut up. No one likes a tattle, darling.” — Ben (03:42)
- On Crew Relationships: “I always look for a partner, someone who likes children, because that's what I want one day. To be treated like the child that I am.” — Jess (07:15)
- On Barbara’s Issues: “Sometimes people...we tell ourselves, 'Oh my god, there must be something wrong with me. I've got trust issues.' No, you're just with an untrustworthy person.” — Ronnie (14:30)
- Anthony’s Tiny Jeans: “I have never seen smaller jeans. I didn't even know they created that size. I mean, it looks like you’re wrapped in a cigarette wrapper, right?” — Ben (08:38)
- Final Take on Kyle: “He’s just gone from wart to warts…He is a wart-filled person on a wart journey.” — Ben (32:57)
- On Damo’s Bad Boy Persona: “He does it with a huge smile… 'Aren't I charming that I'm so honest with you?' Not really.” — Ronnie (22:19)
- On the Season’s Flaws: “They need balance. We need some hobat…some balance in the Hodam, guys.” — Ben (36:18)
Important Segment Timestamps
- 03:30-05:30 — Bridge crossing, Fraser’s tattle complaints
- 07:02-07:42 — Jess & Barbara’s relationship hopes (and delusions)
- 09:40-10:06 — “Glamorous” crew prep, mocked
- 13:28-15:17 — Barbara & Jess’s dinner and trust issues
- 16:04-16:32 — Celine & Kyle’s last-night, noncommittal conversation
- 22:07-22:56 — Damo’s “bad people” speech and hosts’ reaction
- 23:54-25:12 — Missed opportunity for Fraser/Damo love triangle storyline
- 28:58-30:36 — Kyle/Celine/Damo final night drama & non-apology showdown
- 31:04-32:57 — Packing, goodbyes, and the “wart journey” monologue
- 36:12-36:28 — Final thoughts on the season; hopes for better on “Below Deck Med”
Tone & Style
Through comedic rants, impressions, and well-aimed shade, Ben and Ronnie maintain the playful, sometimes savage, but always Bravo-loving tone that defines Watch What Crappens. They lean heavily into sarcasm, hyperbole, and self-aware commentary, providing both entertainment and keen insight into what makes (and breaks) a good Below Deck season.
Summary in a Nutshell
- Below Deck S12 wraps up with messy drama, awkward hookups, forced apologies, and an overdose of “hoe energy.”
- The hosts delight in skewering both the cast and production choices, bemoan the lack of emotional arcs for Fraser, and crave more balanced, old-school Below Deck antics.
- Despite their criticisms, Ben and Ronnie are ready and optimistic for the next Med season—with hopes for less chaos and more classic yachting dysfunction.
