Watch What Crappens – Ep. 3013

RHOC S19E12 Part 2: Self Defense Classless
Date: September 26, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam (Wondery)

Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie deliver their signature hilarious, irreverent recap of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” Season 19, Episode 12, focusing on the Housewives’ wild self-defense class outing. While the drama of simulated carjackings, awkward roleplay, and petty feuds unfolds, the hosts dish out biting commentary and Bravo-deep references, mixing genuine pop culture insight with improv-style humor. This is part two of their two-part coverage for the episode.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gretchen’s “Tomb Raider” Moment & The Self-Defense Invite

• Gretchen’s Entry: The hosts roast Gretchen Rossi’s dramatic outfit for the self-defense class—a “Lara Croft” (or as she says, “Lara Craft”) costume with a showy braid and leather belt.

  “Only she would think it’s really funny to call someone Lara Craft instead of Lara Croft.” – Ronnie (03:12)

• Background on Gretchen’s Trauma: The crew unpacks Gretchen’s real-life lawsuit involving defamation, stalking, and leaked personal photos, acknowledging there’s actual “dark stuff” behind her interest in self-defense.

  “Watch What Crappens: Where you get your Gretchen Rossi legal news education!” – Brandy (05:08)

2. Housewives Arrivals – Expectations and Stereotypes

• Witty banter as each Housewife receives their invite. Notably, Heather suggests Shannon needs self-defense mainly “from carbs, all day long.” (05:41)
• Ben and Ronnie compare past RHOC costumes and call back to infamous moments (Madame Swim, Lydia as Charlie Chaplin).

3. The Simulated Carjacking Prank

• Set-up: The Housewives are subjected to staged carjacking/prank led by the instructors.
• Reactions:
  • Tamara shoves Gina to “take the bullet,” with Ben noting how this challenges normal morality but is “strategy” in Tamara-world (13:08).
  • Gina, shaken, jokes about beauty products in lieu of valuables.
  • Shannon more disturbed by the thought of someone digging in a dumpster than the carjacking itself.
  • Post-prank, the Housewives express genuine distress:

    “This was a horrible thing to do to anybody. I didn’t like this.” – Brandy (13:18)

• Critical Take: The hosts question the producer’s judgment, referencing past cringeworthy Bravo stunts.

  “You’d think one would roll up their window…” – Ronnie (15:04)

4. Self-Defense and Shooting Range Antics

• Divided Groups:
  • One group learns basic fighting/self-defense moves, poking fun at Gina’s fatalism (“I’m going to die, so what should I do?” – Gina, 21:23)
  • The other tries (fake) projectile guns.
• Standout Moments:
  • Tamara dominates the shooting range:

    “I’m a sniper with my words. So target shooting? It’s a breeze.” – Gretchen on Tamara (27:35)

  • Shannon takes down every target as if exorcising her Housewives demons.

5. Recapping Drama & Digging Old Wounds

• The women break into their usual gossip circles; past feuds and rumors are reignited.
• Gretchen vs. Tamara: Betty as the theme, with accusations that Gretchen is obsessed with Tamara, but Gretchen insists it’s always “in response to things she’s said.”
  • Extended riffing about a supposed Tamara pop single and slanderous rumors involving boyband neighbors.

6. The “Affair” Rumor & Hypocrisy Wars

• Debate over whether Gretchen holds incriminating secrets about Tamara, or vice versa.
  • “You want me to talk? Go ahead and talk. … it’s gonna be ugly for you.” – Tamara (44:52)
• The hosts highlight the absurdity of both women’s posturing; neither seems “innocent.”
  • “It was a clusterfuck of suing because they used to be fucking.” – Brandy (38:11)

7. Signature Watch What Crappens Humor & Observations

• Heather as a Video Game Final Boss:

  “She is kind of like the final boss in a video game. … 38 floors, you’re not gonna make it!” – Ronnie (11:02)

• Running Jokes:
  • Alfredo sauce as personal security detail
  • “Panic rooms” as Shannon’s favorite normal rooms
  • “Turkey sandwiches out of pockets”
• On Tamara’s Escapes:

  “When Tamara is wrong and caught, she runs the hell away. She does it every single time.” – Brandy (46:50)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Gretchen’s Lawsuit History:

  “Welcome to your education. Watch What Crappens. Yeah, you didn’t have your Google alert set for Gretchen Rossi news.” – Brandy (05:08)

• On Tamara’s carjacking technique:

  “I think anytime you, like, put Gina in front of a would-be mugger, they’d be like, ‘Uh, there’s nothing in those pockets.’” – Ronnie (13:37)

• On Housewives as expert marksmen:

  “She just has to envision several mannequins wearing non-leopard print. … Kill it! Kill it!” – Ronnie & Gretchen on Shannon (28:02)

• On the cyclical nature of their fights:

  “It was a clusterfuck of suing because they used to be fucking.” – Brandy (38:11)

• On Tamara dodging blame:

  “You want me to talk? Go ahead and talk. … it’s gonna be ugly for you.” – Tamara (44:52)

• On Housewives gossip philosophy:

  “The student has become the master. The turkey has become the sandwich. The salad has become the tuna.” – Jen (37:41)

• Surreal callback:

  “If you’ve got a boy band neighbor who wants to fuck you, it’s your duty as an American to fuck the boy band guy.” – Brandy (47:06)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:19 | Gretchen’s self-defense class invite and lawsuit backstory | | 05:41 | Housewives’ reactions to being invited | | 08:47 | Carpool arrivals, speculation on the outing | | 12:23 | Carjacking prank setup and reactions | | 15:40 | Reactions post-carjacking prank, critique of scene realism | | 21:13 | Group splits for self-defense & gun range | | 27:35 | Tamara shines at shooting range | | 29:54 | Rehash of earlier trips, Tamara’s pop song rumors | | 36:11 | Gretchen accused of the same rumor-mongering she condemns in Tamara | | 44:52 | Final Gretchen/Tamara showdown over secrets, manipulation, and 12-year vendetta | | 46:50 | Ben and Ronnie’s meta-analysis of Housewives' behavior (running from conflict)|

Tone & Style

The episode is characteristically zany and sharp, blending Bravo fandom with snark, personal anecdote, and improvisational riffing. They deliver both biting and affectionate parodies of the Housewives, never letting the drama get too heavy but acknowledging real-life consequences (stalking, lawsuits).

Conclusion

True to form, Ben and Ronnie tear into every detail of the Housewives’ alleged “self-defense” journey, using it as a launchpad for classic Bravo-watching inside jokes, satirical commentary, and a deep-dive on RHOC lore. Their breakdown balances the ridiculous elements of the show with a meta-critique of reality TV conflict, all while making listeners feel like they’re at a hilarious watch party with Bravo’s most devoted—and most sarcastic—fans.

If you missed part one, go back and listen for the full overview of this memorable episode.