#3015 RHOM S7E17 Part Two: Slay-bells

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3015 RHOM S7E17 Part Two: Slay-bells – Recap & Summary

Podcast Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: September 29, 2025
Episode Focus: Recap of Real Housewives of Miami (RHOM) S7E17, continuing from a previous recap and diving deep into the episode’s chaotic Christmas party, escalating petty feuds, and classic Miami antics.

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie serve up a second helping of Miami Housewives snark, zeroing in on the fallout from Julia’s opera performance, Adriana’s never-ending need for attention, and the over-the-top Christmas party that becomes a battleground for settlement and new drama alike. The hosts—true to form—toggle between affectionate ridicule, sharp observations, and Bravo-fan-level inside jokes, dissecting the ridiculous, the passive-aggressive, and the downright “crappens” moments of the episode.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Julia’s Opera Performance: The Tragedy at Flora Grand Opera (03:04–07:01)

• Ben and Ronnie lampoon Julia’s “opera debut,” where she performs with a professional opera singer and falls drastically short in comparison, despite her unearned confidence.

  • Ronnie (as Maria): “Julia, please, you’re embarrassing yourself. She’s not even donating money to you and you’re kissing her ass like this.” (03:29)
  • The contrast between Julia’s amateurish vocals and the professional singer is painfully apparent.
  • They highlight how Julia treats her ‘opera moment’ as a checkbox for housewife theatrics, not genuine artistry.

• Memorable Quote:

  • “The fact that Julia even thinks that is so hilarious when people spend years getting their voice in that condition.” – Ben (04:23)

• Montage includes Martina teaching tennis to their sons—a rare, touching moment amidst the carnage.

2. The Christmas Party: Outfits, Gifts, and Forcing the Festivity (07:01–10:01)

• Descriptions of the various housewives getting glitzed up and ready for Stephanie’s maximalist Christmas party, with gifts upon arrival and a glut of seasonal props (Santa, Mrs. Claus, red carpet).
  • Gertie’s bowling-ball purse noted as a standout.
  • Lisa’s red-carpet arrival gets the fan edit; Jody is mistaken for a Nutcracker by Santa.

3. Kiki’s Apology to Adriana: Unpacking Housewives Logic (10:11–13:29)

• Kiki pulls Adriana aside to make up after a protracted cake-related feud; Adriana accepts the apology with suspicious breeziness after episodes of melodrama.

  • The hosts point out the mismatch between Adriana’s former outrage and her dismissive acceptance of Kiki’s apology.
  • “If you’re going to complain and be annoyed and cause drama over birthday cake frosting, but then you’re not going to let Kiki apologize?!” – Ben (11:11)

• Notable Quote:

  • “My thought is that Adriana has somebody telling her, Adriana, stop. Just stop it. This was not a good look for Adriana.” – Ronnie (11:24)

4. Setting Up the Adriana vs. Julia Showdown (13:30–15:43)

• Adriana and Julia’s former friendship is put on display as the hosts foreshadow their explosive confrontation later at the party.
• “Everything’s fine with me and Kiki. Now I need my allies for the fight with Julia.” (12:12)
• Julia’s passive-aggressive digs and Adriana’s mounting defensiveness portend mayhem.

5. Concert Delays & Diva Tantrums (16:17–18:27)

• Adriana is late and throws a diva fit about audience proximity, cellphones, and her artistic dignity, holding up the party by twenty minutes.

  • Stephanie (party host) is visibly annoyed, adding to the hilarity.
  • Hosts joke that this is one time someone should actually sing to track—Adriana, notably, does not.

• Notable Quote:

  • “Sometimes you should sing to track. And this is one of those times.” – Ben (17:18)

6. Adriana’s Performance: ‘I Love My Dog’ and the AV Extravaganza (22:44–24:20)

• Adriana performs “Feel the Rush” (franchise theme song) and debuts her infamous, heartfelt dog song, complete with a slideshow.
  • Hosts delight in lampooning genre, lyrics, and lack of subtlety (“Who sings about their dog?!” – multiple times).
  • Alexia deadpans, “Don’t sing about your dog in public. You shouldn’t do that. It’s not nice.” (24:04)
  • The dog song is both a pop-culture absurdity and a metaphor for Adriana’s need to have center stage.

7. Adriana & Julia Explode: Jealousy, Gaslighting, & Revisiting Old Wounds (25:03–29:20)

• Post-performance, Julia confronts Adriana for skipping her charity event. The argument quickly spirals: accusations of jealousy, gaslighting, “using” each other for social clout, and weaponizing past grievances.

  • Montage of Adriana screaming at various housewives, affirming Julia’s complaints about her temper.
  • “You manipulate, you gaslight,” “Who gets engaged nine times?” — Adriana lobs passive-aggressive bombs.

• Memorable Exchange:

  • Julia: “Have you checked in on my children?”
  • Adriana: “Am I their godmother?”
  • Julia: “You use me to get into this group and now you don’t need me.” (27:48)

8. Marisol & Kiki: The ‘Ratchet’ vs. ‘Wretched’ Word War (31:11–36:14)

• A brief but sharp detour into the season-long, racially-loaded drama about Adriana using “ratchet”/“wretched” to describe Kiki.
  • Marisol admits to inventing the “wretched” excuse for Adriana, exposing how conflict is sometimes managed (or covered up) among the women.
  • Ronnie observes the contradiction in Marisol’s position (“If you’re helping to create the cover story, that’s not a good look!” — 33:22).

9. Final Updates & Season Wrap-up (37:33–41:48)

• Standard Bravo end-of-season updates about each wife’s current situation:

  • Adriana: Working on taking her show on the road—still not speaking to Julia.
  • Kiki: Improving her relationship with her father, planning to move into Stephanie’s building.
  • Julia: Co-starred in Florida Grand Opera’s Carmen, home with the kids.
  • Larsa: Dating a new basketball player, Jeff Kobe; eggs (and face) frozen.
  • Lisa: Launched “SplitWell” app with Jody, dealing with ongoing divorce fallout.
  • Stephanie: Has reconnected with one twin sister—sort of.
  • Alexia & Todd: Todd has divorced Alexia after season-long struggles.

• Each wrap-up double-serves as a punchline, with househusbands, closure, and uncertainty all getting a nod.

• Quote: “If you really love your dog, you don’t have to sing about it. And if you do, you should sing it at home to your dog.” – Ben (23:34)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “Julia, please, you’re embarrassing yourself. She’s not even donating money to you and you’re kissing her ass like this.” – Ben (03:29)
• “If you’re going to complain and be annoyed and cause drama over birthday cake frosting, but then you’re not going to let Kiki apologize?!” – Ben (11:11)
• “The fact that Julia even thinks that is so hilarious when people spend years getting their voice in that condition.” – Ben (04:23)
• “Sometimes you should sing to track. And this is one of those times.” – Ben (17:18)
• “Don’t sing about your dog in public. You shouldn’t do that. It’s not nice.” – Alexia (24:04)
• “You manipulate, you gaslight… who gets engaged nine times?” – Adriana (28:35)
• “If you really love your dog, you don’t have to sing about it. And if you do, you should sing it at home to your dog.” – Ben (23:34)

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Segment Timeline

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:04 | Julia’s opera “performance” and audience reaction | | 04:13 | Hosts ridicule Julia’s hubris about opera training | | 07:01 | Preparations for Stephanie’s Christmas blowout | | 10:11 | Kiki’s apology and Adriana’s inconsistent reactions | | 13:30 | Setting up the Adriana vs. Julia feud | | 16:17 | Adriana’s concert diva meltdown, delays | | 17:18 | Adriana sings "Feel the Rush," hosts roast her musical choices | | 22:44 | “I Love My Dog” performance, hosts provide parody lyrics | | 25:03 | Adriana and Julia’s screaming match, “gaslighting” accusations | | 31:11 | Ratchet/Wretched word drama revisited, Marisol’s cover up | | 37:33 | End-of-season personal updates for the cast | | 41:48 | Marisol & Alexia discuss friendship amid Todd breakup |

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Summary Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie keep a playful, biting, pop-culture-obsessed tone, embodying the energy of Bravo superfans skewering both the best and worst of Housewives melodrama. Their ridicule is sharp but affectionate, blending personal impressions (often using voices/impersonations) with a clear timeline of events.

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Conclusion

This episode was a classic slice of Crappens: a rapid-fire, joke-heavy, affectionate teardown of Miami’s most over-the-top personalities. From opera trainwrecks to petty word wars to the emotional rollercoaster of Christmas in Miami, Ben and Ronnie find the humor, the absurdity, and the universal truth: Housewives may change, but the drama is forever.

Transcript

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[Kristen]

So then we get Maria. She's like, Bonsa Buon Sa. Listen, my name is Maria Toraro. I'm the general director of Flora Grand Opera Foster. To welcome you to this very important case, we've got a surprise for you. Julia Lemon. Go. The star of stage and screen and the heart. Ah, heart star singing extraordinaire. Julia, please, you're embarrassing yourself. She's not even donating money to you, and you're kissing her ass like this. Oh, my God, girl.

[Caroline]

So everyone claps. They put in their earplugs.

[Kristen]

I love that Maria's like, I'll do this, but I'm not doing it without a backup. So they bring in superstar Laura Leon from the Magic Flute, and so they have her sing. So Julia's singing next to this professional opera singer, and they're not even singing a duet. They're singing the exact same thing. And it is so sad because you hear the opera singer singing it beautifully and on key, and. And it's like. And then you hear Julia going.

[Caroline]

The fact that Julia, like, she's like, oh, I. I'm. I've just been training for nine months to be an opera singer, and now I'm, like, good enough to sing opera.

[Kristen]

That.

[Caroline]

The fact that she even thinks that is so hilarious when, like, people spend, like, years getting their voice in that condition. And it's so hard. It's so. It requires such skill. And this poor opera singer having to duet with her while Julia's like, oh, my God.

[Kristen]

I mean, bless her heart, like, go for what you love, you know? It's like you're never too old to start something new, you know? I believe that because I'm doing it, you know, I try my own new things these days.

[Caroline]

You're learning opera, too?

[Kristen]

Yes, I already know opera, sir. But, you know, I, like, take my piano classes. Like, I'm a big believer in, like, doing things no matter your age. So it's not even that. But, like, if you're really serious about something, go. Go join it, be in a choir or go audition for the opera and be in the chorus. You know what I mean? But, like, her only goal is to just have a scene where she can sing opera once a year. And it's like, come on, get serious. Let's get serious here if we're gonna do this, okay?

[Marisol]

Just five months ago, we were giving up on adoption because we thought that maybe that was not our destiny. And then we got phone call that says, please stop leaving awful opera singing on our voicemails. We will give you children. Just never call us again. And look, now we have Luca and the other one.

[Kristen]

So during her opera singing, which is literally like cats being skinned alive is what it sounds like to good opera music. It's a good one. Singing. So we see a montage of Martina with the boys. And I do think it's cute that we see Martina teaching the boys tennis, or one of them at least, because she said she wasn't gonna do that earlier. And she sure enough is out there showing them her sport, which I thought was pretty co. Cute.

[Caroline]

She realized that, like, it's. She's like, I can't let their lives go by without me regularly. Just saying, run faster, pussies. Hit the ball.

[Kristen]

Listen, if you don't have somebody to.

[Caroline]

Say, you want to end up like.

[Kristen]

Stephanie Graff, you wuss, then what kind of life are you leading?

[Caroline]

Let me tell you something. If I'd been stabbed, I wouldn't have given up Monica. Got a little dark there. Sorry. Yeah, it did.

[Kristen]

I was like, oh, I'm already in the middle of a laugh. I'm already in the midst.

[Caroline]

Maybe I should have made a Stephanie. What was that girl? Stephanie, who was, like, gonna be. Doesn't matter.

[Marisol]

Where'd you go?

[Caroline]

Anna Kournikova? More like Anna Corna. No career there. I got us back on track.

[Kristen]

So the crowd cheers, which is interesting to hear people clapping, because they weren't clapping with their hands. They were clapp. Clapping their hands over their ears really hard, like, just trying to shake what they just heard of out of their brain. So then we go to Stephanie's Christmas party, and Gertie's getting ready, and she's jumping in her closet, and she pulls. She pulls down this hilarious fucking purse. It's this, like, big bowling ball of a purse, and she's like Cinderella almost ready to go. There we go. We're gonna go. It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be crazy.

[Caroline]

We're gonna have a great night. And I'm gonna get so much jewelry. So then we see everyone else getting ready, getting dressed, and Stephanie's in makeup, and she's boring the hell out of her. Poor makeup artists who have to pretend like she cares about this just shoma's motto is do it big, do it bright, do it in style, alienate your twin sisters or don't do it at all.

[Kristen]

Yeah. So then we go over to Kiki, and she's coming in with her, and there's a red carpet, etc. And she's like, oh, I'm gonna be on the nutty side tonight. Let's start with some bubbles. Thank you. So everybody's just doing. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. And Stephanie has gifts from them, or for them, rather, which are probably show my caps.

[Caroline]

I don't know. Yeah. Seeing show with the money. Show with the money. My makeup artist said that it was so funny. So then they all have. They go into their, like, little section, and Kiki is saying that she brought her dad because he's Haitian and that this is gonna be a fundraiser for Haiti, so that's gonna be it. And then everyone's, like, saying hi to Laras. They're like, oh, my God, thank you. You did such a good job with Kiki. Thank you so much for coming. He's like, thank you. Thank you. He has no idea what anyone's saying. He could barely keep up. He's like, I'm just gonna say thank you because I don't speak this language. So Kiki's like, oh, yeah. I think my. I think the ladies will. I love my dad, and maybe he'll love some of them because my dad is a flirt, let's be honest. So there's. People show up. Carmen makes her big return after they hyped up Carmen, and she was on one episode, and now she's back. And Carmen has no lines.

[Kristen]

Right. I think she says, somebody's hot. And that's all we hear from her the whole episode.

[Caroline]

No, because Kiki's like, oh, Carmen, your boyfriend's hot. And then Kiki's like, oh, sorry, Carmen. And Carmen's like, no, he is hot. That was it. Yeah.

[Kristen]

So then there's Lisa and Jody arrive, and I just love Lisa. I love watching her arrive anywhere. Just taking the red carpet, like, posing. And Gertie's meets Stephanie's parents, and Lisa poses with Santa and Mrs. Claus and all that good stuff. And Jody is mistaken for a nutcracker, which is awkward. Santa tries to put a walnut in his mouth.

[Caroline]

That's. He, a hundred percent, is a nutcracker. Like, off duty, off duty nutcracker.

[Kristen]

So Lars is like, I mean, I'm okay. Like, we're seeing, like, Jody because, like, it's like the holiday likes. So, like, I'm in the Christmas spirit. Like, and I don't want to be, like, a screw. Like, j.

[Caroline]

Like, you know, so Kiki pulls Adriana, and she's like, can we talk bibs? And so Adrian's like, you look beautiful. She's like, yes, you do too. And are you excited about that? Okay, look, I know you get nervous, Adriana, and I'm sorry we have to have this conversation now, but I kind want to go with. In with. With a peaceful mind. Okay. And I want to apologize to you. She goes, thank you. About the whole cake thing, and I'm. I'm sorry I did it, but it was not coming from a bad place. All right, that's fine. I accept your apology. Like, Adriana, you have had a fizzy hit. Fizzy hit. A hissy fit for two episodes straight this or that. You screamed. You had. You had meltdowns, and then it's just like, okay, yeah, I'm fine. Bye. Thanks. Like, no. Like, it's so. Like, there's something that drives me nuts about that. I feel like your apology has to kind of match the energy of not apology. The. The way you accept the apology has to kind of match the energy of, like, the amount of time everyone invested in hearing you complain about a situation. If you're gonna. If you're going to complain and be annoyed and. And cause drama over birthday cake frosting, like, a bad joke, but then, like, you're not gonna, like, let Kiki sort of apologize properly because you're just gonna brush it off like, yeah, no, it's fine. Bye. Like, that's not fair to us.

[Kristen]

Well, here's my feeling about. My guess about it. It's not really a deep feeling, you guys. Don't worry. I'm not gonna pour feelings on you. But my thought is that Adriana has somebody telling her, audriana, stop. Just stop it. After that whole last episode, that was not a good look for Adriana. And I think someone was like, okay, you just had an episode where you brought your black friend on and said, look, I can't be racist. I have a black friend. This is really. Stop it. Make this go away. You know, like, you're in trouble. Make it go away. And so I think she's just like, okay, I forgive you. You know, it's like.

[Caroline]

Well, it's also like the. It's also like the classic, you can't fight a war on two fronts. So she's now decided, oh, yeah, Julia is my target. I don't. I. I. I. Can we all get Julia Tonight, because this is. Yeah, this is like, I. Everything's fine with me and Kiki. It's fine. I need. I need my allies right now. So now we're friends again.

[Kristen]

But it would have been nice if Adriana had reciprocated there a little bit because she's like, well, all I know is that I said things and I apologize, but, you know, I didn't want to say things the way I said it, so maybe I chose the wrong word, but I want to move on and have a good night. I mean. Okay, But I think you need a better apology because Kiki's being really nice here, you know?

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Kiki, whatever people say about the cake thing being so mean and this and that. Okay. Even if it was, like, shady, which. Okay, it's still not that bad. It didn't deserve the punishment. I don't think that was cool. So she deserves an apology, too. But they're getting over it, so that's good. So.

[Caroline]

And Kiki is so kind.

[Kristen]

I'm sorry.

[Caroline]

Kiki is like. And to be honest with you, Adriana, I still think you are one of the most beautiful women your age.

[Kristen]

Oh, my age, huh? Is that a backhanded compliment, Kiki? I'm like, just take it. It just was like, just please stop being offended over every little thing. But it's very Adriana, because she goes, it's Christmas night. I have the Christmas spirit, and I'm receiving and accepting the gift of apology. And I have a full performance, so I don't want to be distracted by petty little things, which translates into, I will yell at her tomorrow.

[Caroline]

But I've.

[Kristen]

Emilio, Stefan's here. Yeah.

[Caroline]

And Adriana's basically like, look, nothing's going to make me scream tonight. And it goes 30 minutes later, her screaming at Julia.

[Kristen]

All right, so now Kiki and Marisol are both with her, and Kiki's like, well, we miss you at Julia's event. Well, I could not reschedule. 12 people. The best musicians in Miami. Okay. Oh. Oh. She was really her. You know, her little swan. Little swan. It was a swan song. It was a swan song. One very sad swan.

[Caroline]

Yeah. So that's. That's in 30 minutes to come. A little teaser of what's to come, because she winds up screaming at Julia there and being like, off, off, off. So then now Alexi and Julia arrive, and Kiki, there's like, jokes. He's like. Because Santa's like, ho, ho, ho. And Kiki's like, did you just call us hoes?

[Kristen]

And then the shoe Fits. Wear it right. Am I right, Santa? Okay. I'm so good with Santa. Everybody knows it.

[Caroline]

I'm a star. They call me Starry Class. Except for the producer says, alexia, have you been naughty this year or have you been nice? She was like, well, I'm always a combination of both, you know? And Larsa says, I haven't had sex in forever, so doesn't that automake you? Automatically put you on the nice list. Like, I'm nice.

[Kristen]

Like, no, virgins are assholes too. Yeah, I mean, what the hell? And so the women are posing for pictures with Santa and stuff. So then Kiki is with Julia. So she's like, oh, my God. Adriana went off on us. She just missed us so bad. And Marisol's like, yeah, I'll sit and talk about it. Well, we decided to take it upon ourselves to find out why Adriana didn't show up at your event. And Julie is like, well, I texted her the next day and I said, adriana, I hope your rehearsal went well. Such a pity that you didn't. You missed my special event because it was so special. No response. No response. Zero. Zero response.

[Caroline]

And Julia has a really sick burn. Here she goes.

[Marisol]

So much emotion. I swept under the carpet for years. So much emotion under the carpet. It's not even a rug anymore. It's almost like a hill mountain with a rug on top of it.

[Caroline]

Okay, all right, all right.

[Kristen]

So now Stephanie goes to the gifts and gives a speech. She's like, thank you so much for coming. Okay, this is very loud. Can we get this quieter? Because this is ridiculous. You're all fired. Okay, so we're going to walk to the second next door for a concert. So now they go next door, and it's 10 minutes late for the concert. And Stephanie's like, I don't know, but this isn't a JLO moment. Like, we're not gonna be waiting. I have stuff to do. We need to get this show going. This is my part.

[Caroline]

And they're all waiting because they all know it's gonna be a shitty concert. And they're sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting. And then, like, the music director, go, Jonathan goes out to Adriana's. Like, everyone's waiting for you. It's like, well, they need to back off the. From the piano because. Because nobody can be in this range. I have to. I. You know, I have to leave the piano and walk to the stage. They all have to back the way the up. She's like, having a diva meltdown over her three song concert that she's about to do.

[Kristen]

She's mad because all her friends are too close to the stage and they're all have their cell phones out and she doesn't want that. She's like pulling a big diva. She's like, no, this is very important. I'm an artist. And he's like, just get out there. Because Stephanie's like, oh my God, I'm gonna kill her. Like, you just see Stephanie in the front just losing it. So now it's 20 minutes late, but she comes out and you know, we make fun of people for singing to track a lot on these shows because it's like obvious that they're not even trying. But sometimes you should sing to track. And this is one of those times. Track it up.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Not.

[Caroline]

Not amazing. So she comes out on stage, the band starts playing. It sounds very much like a wedding band. And she's like, first. She's first. She does feel the rush, which is the theme song to this show that we're watching, which is great. She's the only housewife who's had her song actually ascend to being like the theme song to their. Her franchise. So she sings that and they're like, Marisol's like, I thought this was gonna be a new song. I mean, what sort of wretched music is this?

[Kristen]

Don't be careful what you wish for because you know she's got old wrinkled knees. Being written as we speak. It's her first torch song. Mine, your knees are so old and wrinkle.

[Caroline]

No, it'll just be in the style of Sabrina Carpenter. Knees, knees, knees.

[Kristen]

Why aren't you smooth? Knees, knees, knees, knees when it's cold outside why do you get so frozen you won't move?

[Caroline]

I put on moisturizer and rub it in hard. But they still say wrinkled and look so old.

[Marisol]

Why?

[Caroline]

The lyrics give you some work.

[Kristen]

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[Kristen]

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[Caroline]

So Rani, you just got something from Quince, didn't you? Didn't something just arrive?

[Kristen]

It is a gorge. Speaking of cashmere, I just got a cashmere hoodie from them. It's like an oatmeal color. It is so beautiful, like I'm almost afraid to wear it because I don't want to mess it up. It's one of the nicest things in my wardrobe. So when I need to class it up this fall, you will be seeing me in this hoodie.

[Caroline]

Well, you know what Ronnie? Keep it classic and cool this fall with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.com for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Krappins Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quinns.com crappins I just got back in.

[Kristen]

Town and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the grocery store. So I did what I always do. I called my good friend Instacart. Instacart is more than a grocery technology platform. It's a care company designed to make life easier. It connects you to thousands of stores across the US Giving you time back to to focus on what matters most.

[Caroline]

With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have fresh groceries and household essentials ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering some of the things that you love so that you're free to take care of life.

[Kristen]

Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most.

[Caroline]

Download the Instacart app and use code CRAPINS.20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code CR WRAPPINS.20 to get $20 OFF your first order of $80 OR more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply at Mathis Home.

[Mathis Home Announcer]

We understand that your home is a reflection of you. And during our Spring Style event, we have fresh new looks that are waiting to make your home look and feel great at the lowest prices. With all the latest styles in bloom, you'll find savings in every department. Whether it's a clean and modern sectional or a rustic and traditional dining table, we have it in stock with fast and free delivery. Come find the look that's right for you during the Spring style event at your furniture superstore. Mathis Home.

[Kristen]

So everyone's dancing and taking videos, and next up is fire. Fire. Then she sits down and, like, gets her flared arms out. You know her, whatever you call them. Like, she's got flares all over her arms. Tal dun dun. And then she stands up. She's done. And I love. I love that last week, she's like, I've been practicing the piano for this. Like.

[Caroline]

I love my dog. I love my dog.

[Kristen]

I love my dog.

[Caroline]

I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog. I really love my dog. I really love my dog. I really love my dog. And the funny thing is that, like, Robin Thick or actually has a song that does, like, the same thing. He literally has a song that takes Beethoven's fifth and he goes singing around with it. It's crazy. Oh, really? The new Robin.

[Kristen]

She's the new Robin. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Who sings about their dog? I think it's stupid, because if you really need your. If you really love your dog, you don't have to sing about it. And if you do, you should see. Sing it at home to your dog so your dog can hear you sing it like it's not in the middle of a stage. Like, nobody wants to hear that.

[Caroline]

Alexia is so dead serious about her own logic on this, which could be applied to any love song. I just want to say, like, don't. Don't sing about your dog in public. You shouldn't do that. It's not nice.

[Kristen]

Who sings about their dog? So, yeah, she's still singing about the dog. Like, she really goes there. And that's her final song is the dog song.

[Caroline]

It has a slideshow, too. An AV experience girl like, wow.

[Kristen]

And everyone cheers. And then it just cuts to Kiki and she goes, wow, the mighty has fallen.

[Caroline]

Unlike her age, this one is really dropping. So they're like, wow, that was good, Larsa. Adriana, that was, like, so good. Like, that was, like, really good. And Stephanie's like, the dog song took me off guard. Was that a tribute to the two dogs that we put into the apartment upstairs? Remember when that was gonna be a storyline? The dogs have pooped in the apartment. Remember that? So Julia's like, okay, well, can I.

[Marisol]

Pull my bestie from one singer to another? I want to congratulate her in person.

[Caroline]

So Julia pulls Adriana, and, you know, Adriana's like, oh, I'm so out of breath. It's been a long day.

[Marisol]

She's like, I'm. You know that I am happy for you. You're like, you know, I'm really. I'm really, really happy for you. So happy.

[Kristen]

Okay, well, maybe I don't know, Julia, because, I mean, you've been so, like, weird, you know, recently.

[Marisol]

Oh, was I? Was I being weird?

[Kristen]

Yeah, you like being to yourself and to Marisol. Okay, so there.

[Marisol]

Well, you introduced me to that group, and I feel like you are punishing me now.

[Kristen]

Don't like me. Don't gaslight me.

[Marisol]

What happened? Why didn't you come for my event where I saw sang terrible opera next to piano for foster children?

[Kristen]

I have a band. A band for 12 people. Okay, this is very big. This is my dream since I was a little baby.

[Marisol]

Oh, well, you never text me. Even a foster child who never listened to opera would text me back.

[Kristen]

Yes, foster child. Just. A foster child just texted me and said, please stop singing. So even they know how to text. Come on. And she's like, I have dreamed of this. You want to come compete with me? Julia, you started this last year. You know, I've been doing this for 14 years, Julia. This is important. Oh, so you're jealous of me singing? She's like, no, I'm not jealous. You didn't even tell me you were doing that. Okay, so this is very Julia to be like, not even mention it and then get mad that you didn't show up for it.

[Caroline]

Yeah, and Julia is like, it's about the singing and Adriana saying like, no, it's about. This is about you being fake and mischievous and a bad friend, and I don't want to throw you under the bus like this, but you keep on pushing me. I'm gonna do it.

[Marisol]

Like, shame on you, Adriana. Shame on you.

[Caroline]

She's like, oh, shame on you. Shame on you for not respecting my lifetime dream to sing about my dog in the lobby of a building for trying to get my life from me. You're toxic. The mask is off.

[Marisol]

I wish you love.

[Kristen]

She goes, oh, I see you for who you are. And now I'm gonna treat you like you treat me. And I'm gonna be your friend to me too, so see how you like it.

[Caroline]

So she walks off. Stephanie's like, are you kidding me? Adriana, Julia are fighting at the holiday party for the Shoma Bazaar. What the fuck is going on with these girls? It's Christmas, and we have an espresso station in the corner for people who want to turn this into a workspace after the party. I can't believe they would do this.

[Kristen]

Well, if that's how you want to leave it. Oh, do you support me? Do you know that my band is 12 people? Did you tell me when your thing is? So you see, she didn't even tell her when her thing was. This is so fucking Julia.

[Caroline]

And.

[Kristen]

And this is why Adriana always loses. Cuz she's got a point. But she acts like such an idiot that no one ever listens to her. You know, she goes off and acts crazy and nobody listens to what she's saying. But I knew that. She didn't tell her. I knew it.

[Caroline]

And then Julia tries to pull this card.

[Marisol]

She goes, well, have you checked in on my children?

[Caroline]

She goes, well, am I their godmother?

[Marisol]

She really.

[Caroline]

She. You'll use me.

[Marisol]

How? How did I use it?

[Caroline]

To get into this group. And now you don't feel like you need me anymore. Go. Go be with your real friends.

[Kristen]

So meanwhile, we just get a shot of Marisol, Alexia, you know, lying all over each other on the couch playing kissy face. And they're going like, I love you, bro. I love you, bro. Oh, you found your tribe, Julia. Look at them over there. Niece kissing, old wrinkly, knees intertwined. Okay? You manipulate your gaslight, and then Adriana tells us. I mean, who gets engaged nine times? Nine times until she finally landed, you know, a champion player.

[Caroline]

You're here tonight because of me, because nobody would ever found you in that place you lived in, okay? Nobody would have ever found you there. I brought you in here. I brought you into this group. I gave you all your moments. You are a user. You are user.

[Marisol]

Julia's like, there's no hope for you. I have seen Adriana yelling and screaming numerous times on different people.

[Caroline]

And then we see quite A significant montage of Adriana yelling at everyone. I mean, Adriana's yelled at everyone.

[Kristen]

Let's.

[Caroline]

Let's be honest. It's not. Julia's not wrong on this front.

[Kristen]

Yeah, but Julia has, too. Julie has yelled at a lot of people, too. And Julia gets physical and throws things at people. She threw water. She threw a bucket of ice on Marisol. So it's not like she's some little innocent bystander.

[Marisol]

I threw party for opera singers and foster babies.

[Caroline]

So Adrian is like, do we have to get into every conversation? And so anyway, sorry. So we just see, like, a montage of the screaming. And Julia's like, that's how she does things. So Adriana sits down next to Lisa. He's like, come on over here. You'll be fine. She's like, can you believe I have to hear that after my big performance? Like, okay, well, at least he did not play Woodstock.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

I don't know how you got that classical thing out. I mean, that was really rough. Rough? That was huge. Oh, well, what people don't know is, in front of everybody, she was acting like my best friend, but behind closed doors, she was guilt tripping me for things. She was controlling me. She was yelling at me. She was making me feel smaller than this all the time.

[Caroline]

So Lars was asking, like, what happened? And Julia's like, I'll tell you later.

[Marisol]

And she's like, and I can't take it anymore. I'm done. It's like four years of freaking mental psychological abuse.

[Caroline]

So, speaking of which, we now endure that because Stephanie has the microphone. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the magical Christmas celebration here at Shoma Bazaar. Tonight is about celebrating the joy of the season with those who make life so special. And I'm truly honored to share it with all of you here. And I'm launching a new cocktail at the Shoma Bazaar called the Kiki Courage. So now there's gonna be a beverage at this place, and it's for Kiki, and it's for her foundation for the people of Haiti. And, you know, all these things come out, these signs and big images of her, of her face. And Kiki gets on stage and she thanks everyone, and she talks about how Haiti has gone through unimaginable struggles. And she's really happy to have the proceeds go to Haitian Health foundation, which is really great. And she's really happy because her dad gets to see her in this moment giving back to the country. Yeah.

[Kristen]

So Alexi and Stephanie are holding up cutouts of Kiki's face. They're all cheering for her. And so they move on to the drinks, and everyone's posing for photos and Adriana. So Adriana's talking to Kiki again. So Kiki is like, adriana, I have a question. Earlier, I was talking to Marisol, and Marisol clearly said that she was the one that told you not to use the word to say ratchet it to say wretched. She's like, oh, my. I've just was like, oh, my God.

[Caroline]

I mean, this season. Here's why the season is so good. You have Larsa and Lisa. It starts with Larson, Lisa having a fight over Marcus Jordan. And then eventually, Lisa unfollows Marcus Jordan. It took forever. All season long, she unfollows Marcus Jordan. They go to a dinner. Adriana says that Lisa did this. She wasn't supposed to say it. Kiki tells her, you weren't supposed to say it. Adriana says, stop being ratched. Tiki is like, you were too old to be saying those things. It becomes a fight. Julia does not stand up for Adriana enough. And now this entire fight, like, this entire fight, this entire thing, it all just. It's all connected to all these story lines. And I. Like, those are the best seasons when you have one stupid thing in the beginning that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and then just, like. Is like a. Is like a. A entertaining cancer that takes over the entire cast. And now. Now this is where we are.

[Kristen]

No balls. Y.

[Caroline]

Yes. No balls.

[Kristen]

So we see one hour earlier, Mary Soul is telling Kiki. She's like, well, she did call you ratchet, and I gave her the world word wretched to save her ass, which. Okay, well, how does that make you look good? If Adriana was. If you believe that Adriana said something terrible, and that has problemat. That's highly problematic to a black woman. And you didn't stand up and say, adriana, you don't say that to a black woman. And instead went and helped her come up with some little excuse or some alibi or whatever. Then doesn't that make you wretched? Like, what the. Yeah, gross. Like, only Marisol would think, like, I'm gonna stick her with this one. It's like, you look worse.

[Caroline]

Like, yeah. She goes, I said, I'm gonna help you clear this ratchet thing up, and I'm gonna come up with a word that sounds just like it. And you can explain. You can just say it's your accent. And I said, and I helped you. And I said, don't put me. Like, don't don't come for me for two more years. Just leave me alone. But now stuff's coming back to me. He can't leave me alone. So then Marisol explained. Pips told me under the radar that she had. Had said something to Stephanie. To Stephanie to get Stephanie mad at me. I was like, what? What?

[Kristen]

So Adriana said something to Stephanie to get Stephanie mad at her? No, Stephanie started that whole conversation. Larza. Shut up, Larza. That whole conversation was Stephanie sitting down with Marisol and getting mad at Marisol on her own. That had nothing to do with Adriana doing it. And Stephanie was the one who sat with her at that lunch. Lunch and said, you know, I think Marisol is really a backstabber and two faced and this and that. And Adriana just smiled.

[Caroline]

Well, what's also funny is that the evidence of this is the. The big thing that Adriana did, according to Marisol, is that Adriana. We see this scene of Adriana, Stephanie sitting, and Adriana says, you gotta understand, Marisol has a PR company. She knows how to influence people. So she uses all that knowledge that she has when it comes to that and meaning that like, that. Like what Marisol heard is that Adriana said she manipulates people in situations. And now Marisol is saying, like, look, I manipulated a situation for her so I could influence the outcome. And now she's going around telling people that I manipulate situations and have influence over people. I've had it. Yeah.

[Kristen]

And I was like, are you kidding me? I mean, I just had lay off me for two years. So I said, okay, guess what? She said ratchet. I came up with ratchet. And there you go. And Adriana's like, oh, she manipulates. She manipulates shit. She goes, oh, no, you said what you said. Are you going to manipulate also that you called me old, but it didn't hurt me as much as it hurt you when Kiki said it. Just. Yes, yes. And Marisol's like, you're the manipulator. So Adriana tells us. She's like, I was just pouring my heart explaining what I meant. And Marisol goes, oh, you meant this? And she pulls out the word and says, says, you owe me forever. So that's an example of Marisol. And that actually does make more sense than what Marisol is saying.

[Caroline]

It actually does. I don't think that Marisol was like, this is what you've got to say. It's more like, oh. Oh, this is the word you were thinking of?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

You were the. Yeah. Did you mean were you trying to say wretched? Was that. It wasn't like she said, hey, kid, this is what you got to tell the people, right? Sort of hard. Like, I don't like Adriana.

[Kristen]

What would work? What sounds like ratchet? What could it be? I mean, I just stayed up all night trying to come up with something to tell her, and then I thought of a word. Ratchet. I don't believe that.

[Caroline]

She's like, yeah, you called her ratchet. Which, by the way, I still believe that Adriana called her ratchet. And Adriana's like. She's like, no, no, you're wretched. Like, you're. You. Like, like old and miserable. You know, like wretched. Like, remember when she said I was old and it was terrible? It turns out I called her old firsts, which was. Okay, okay.

[Kristen]

Oh, here we go again. You're calling me old again. And Alexi is like, adriana, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't call people old. Oh, you look like you're going to a funeral, Marisol. Cuz she's wearing black. Marisol's like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Oh, go to a funeral then. Go to the funeral. She like, well, you look like you're going to an ice skating rink. An ice skating rink. Oh, burn. Burn on the ice. Guys, I did it.

[Caroline]

Listen, guys, don't fight at Shoma Bazaar. This is the holidays. It's about giving back, loving each other, trying to get onto my private plane. Okay, let's have fun. So Gertie's like, okay, gifts, gifts, gifts. Oh, God, we'd have gifts. Oh, my God, I'm so glad we have time for the gifts. Okay, can we hurry this up? Okay, we got like 5.5min to open up these gifts. So then people are opening up boxes, and it's a makeup kit. And Kiki is like, from now on, whenever I fight one of those, I'm just gonna be like, I got a gift for you and don't look at me. Etc. Etc. So now they're all happy because they're opening up makeup and. And things like that. And Marisol's like, oh, thank you, Santa. Thank you. Oh, Santa.

[Kristen]

Wow.

[Caroline]

Thank you so much. So Adriana's, like, thanking. She thanks Stephanie and Alexia, she's like, thank you for being my backup dancers. You girls were amazing. And now we start to see the little updates for the end of the season. So Adriana is working on taking her show on the road, but with one less fan in the crowd because she's still not speaking to Julia. D.

[Kristen]

And then we see Vika has finally met the boys, but Emma still hasn't.

[Caroline]

And Kiki is working on a relationship with her dad and she's getting ready to buy a. A condo in Stephanie's building.

[Kristen]

Oh, and then we see Julia at home with the kids. And Julia's like, Jackson, are you creating music?

[Marisol]

Oh, oh, oh, look at him.

[Kristen]

He's eating lemon. He is my son. That's what I do. I eat lemon, too. And Martinez, like, they like lemon, they like olives, they like ginger, they like silence. They've been asking for that.

[Caroline]

They like strong flavors. To which I say, strong flavors isn't going to bring the ball closer to your racket room.

[Kristen]

Julia co starred in Florida Grand Opera's Carmen. Then. Oh. So I take it back. Julia is doing something. Oh, sorry, I rescind. Vika has finally met the boys, but Emma still hasn't. So then at Larza's, she's FaceTiming Justin and she's like, Justin, like, look like. I also, like, wanted to show you, like, the hot tub. Like, there's a gummy bear staring at me. It's kind of weird. I don't like it. Yeah.

[Caroline]

To add to her new house, Larsa is dating a new man. It's a basketball player, Jeff. Kobe. And Jeff predicts that they'll be married by the end of the year, just in case Larsa plans on freezing more eggs.

[Kristen]

I think you've frozen your face enough. I mean, did the eggsy. Do the eggs come out frozen too? They come out frozen. Just have them. Just have them taken. So much Botox in you. Those eggs have been frozen for years.

[Caroline]

Okay, Larsa, we know your timeline. Okay, I appreciate that you're freezing your eggs, but we know your timeline. We. So then you've been with us for many years. Okay. Also, I'm glad to see she's with yet another love bomby basketball player. And then we go to Gertie's home. And now there she's with her with the kids and they're talk making jokes about cats. And Gertie continues to take solo therapy. She has no plans for additional reconstructive surgery. For now.

[Kristen]

Time.

[Caroline]

Lisa's condo. Lisa. Inspired by her tumultuous and voice divorce, Lisa and Jody developed an app called Split well, which is where I. Okay, it's kind of a good idea.

[Kristen]

Yeah, I think, like, they teach you.

[Caroline]

How to do that last.

[Kristen]

I thought so.

[Caroline]

Wasn't that last year's storyline?

[Kristen]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Because I remember hearing that before.

[Caroline]

Yeah, I like it. It's kind of like a good companion to Made. Well. Well, it's like, oh, you can get. Buy something from the madewell Bland brand and then get something from Split. Well, yeah.

[Kristen]

So Stephanie is at her condo with Massoud, her dreamboat, Massoud. And she's like, A lot of thoughts are going through my head. The baby situation. I don't talk to my sisters. I left them voicemails. I just want a phone call from a sister. It doesn't have to be both. I mean, they're identical twins. I'll just take one.

[Caroline]

Soon after Stephanie's dream came true, one twin started talking to her. Although, technically, what the twin said was, shut the up and stop talking about me on tv. That comes from me, Anders. My sister. Bye. It's a voicemail.

[Kristen]

So Mary Souls Marisol and Alexi are hanging out. And Marisol's like, I'm just worried. I want you to be happy. Being with all of it makes you happy. But how do I work into the picture with you and Todd? I mean. Well, am I gonna still be your friend? Okay, so if we get back together. Together, you're always going to be in my life. Except when I'm busy with Todd. And it doesn't matter what you say, I'm not going to hear it, because I'm going to be with Todd. Like, you were a great friend to me, and I'm sorry that you've died to me as a friend. But you know what? You've always have been. And he's gonna have to understand that, even though I'm never gonna bring you around the bother. Todd.

[Caroline]

But I talk about Todd. I don't care. So then, Marisol and Steve are looking for their next wedding location. Water will not be served. But cocky sure will be. Finally. Don't worry, though. Todd and Alexia, they have spent all season working on their relationship. You know, she. She was so mad. She said narcissists should die. And then she started to realize that they do have something. They love each other. Which is why, inevitably, we had this update. Todd has officially divorced Alexia.

[Kristen]

So does that mean he did bamboozle her? And they were like, he's gonna bamboozle you?

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

They tried dating, but have broken up. Up for now.

[Kristen]

Oh, gosh. Well, Miami, great season as usual. Love this show. And we've still got three weeks of reunion coming up, so that should be pretty fun.

[Caroline]

Yeah. Looking forward to it. Thanks, everyone, for being here.

[Kristen]

Thanks for being with us this season. We'll talk to you next time.

[Caroline]

Bye. Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Allison Block Our.

[Kristen]

Way is the Amber way It's the.

[Caroline]

Foster and the Furious It's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with Ashley Auto Put your hands together for Carly Clap get.

[Kristen]

On the right foot with Chrissy Offut she's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells we never miss her call.

[Caroline]

It's Diane Call Aaron mcnicholas She don't.

[Kristen]

Miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber.

[Caroline]

You'll never hide from Heidi Ellen I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less namey.

[Kristen]

She'S our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot.

[Caroline]

She'S our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock, Kristen.

[Kristen]

The Piston Anderson Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Caroline]

Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Kristen]

I love a YA Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she.

[Caroline]

Sure is swell It's Raquel yes, we canna. It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Elliott Darn Skippy.

[Kristen]

It's Tippy and our Super Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody get.

[Caroline]

Us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal Put us.

[Kristen]

On a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides who, what, why, where?

[Caroline]

And Gwen Pentland let's go into the.

[Kristen]

Woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen.

[Caroline]

It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it.

[Kristen]

It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud neat It's Ronit.

[Caroline]

Feldman maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we.

[Kristen]

Cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell.

[Caroline]

Of son Shannon out of a can and Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla.

[Kristen]

Plaine she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.