Watch What Crappens

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode: #3017 — Below Deck Mediterranean S10E01 Part 2: "Inspain in the Membrane"
Date: September 30, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode continues Ben and Ronnie’s irreverent, hilarious recap of the Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10 premiere. They dissect the arrival of new crew members, the chaos of prepping for charter, and the unique idiocy (and comedy!) surrounding this season’s bitcoin-loving guests. Expect relentless roasting of the cast’s yachting competence, over-the-top crew personalities, and endlessly cringey “luxury” guests—especially the self-styled crypto bros.

Detailed Breakdown & Recap

1. Opening Chaos: Crew Sickness, Cribs, and a "Creative" Chef

Timestamps: 02:24–05:42

• Sick Parade Continues: Captain Sandy texts sick crew members Nathan and Tessa, consoling them humorously—“If you don't make it here, the whole season's canceled. So no pressure…”
  • “I'm calling it Sandy and the Diarrhea Heads” —Ben as Captain Sandy ([02:24])
• Late-Night Antics: Commentary about crew members’ questionable late-night hygiene and habits:
  • “Someone just stared at their wiener for a minute in the dark and then put the cover back. That was probably Max.” —Ben ([02:53])
• Chef Josh’s ‘Creative Process’:
  • He claims he’s too creative for Michelin restaurants, sees himself as an "artist," and laments that kitchen rules limit his self-expression.
  • “He’d wear nail varnish, but he can’t because he has to work in the kitchen. And it might come off in the food, but he’s that much of an artist. He would even wear nail polish.” —Ben ([04:04])
  • “Did Basquiat just come on board? Because this man is an artist. He is one thumbnail away from being at the MoMA.” —Ronnie ([04:48])

2. New Arrivals & Crew Dynamics

Timestamps: 05:42–09:17

• Nathan Returns, Tessa Arrives:
  • Both are still recovering and slightly haunted by their first day.
  • Tessa jokes about managing massive superyacht teams and drops a “country” persona:
    • “Take the country girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.” —As Tessa ([09:08])
  • Max’s instant infatuation with “Princess” Tessa leads to over-the-top flirtation (and crude nicknaming):
    • “Walking dildo. Walking dildo. Bonjour, madame.” —Ben as Max ([08:24])

3. Preference Sheet/Guest Briefing Mayhem

Timestamps: 09:17–14:28

• Production Joke: Ben & Ronnie mock the “innovation” of separating preference sheet meetings:
  • “All the years of Below Deck, and they finally decided to change up...preference sheet meetings in different rooms. Oh my God. We're here for another decade.” —Ben ([09:44])
• Meet the Charter Guests:
  • Primary: Carl, self-proclaimed “serial entrepreneur,” plus his crypto-obsessed entourage.
    • “I’m renowned in the world of non-alcoholic web startups. I’m really into websites that don’t drink soft bitcoin.” —Ronnie as Carl ([11:02])
    • The guys roast their constant need to say “bitcoin” and throw their wealth around.
    • “Rich screams, wealth whispers.” —Ronnie ([14:40])

4. Charter Begins — Remarks on Yachting Chaos

Timestamps: 14:28–18:53

• Departure Struggles:
  • The crew is clueless about basic procedures (“How do I press a button?” confusion).
  • Jokes about dying at sea:
    • “Captain Glenn is somewhere, like, why isn’t she talking about how everyone could die within the next three minutes?” —Ben ([16:55])
• Bitcoin Guests Take Over: More jokes about how fake-rich and desperate-for-attention the guests seem.
  • “These guys feel like crooks.” —Ronnie ([40:50])
• Deck Crew Struggle: Tessa and Christian can’t operate basic equipment, and Max boasts about “leadership” (“Did you pack your guillotine?” joke about Revolution-era French threats, [31:20]).

5. Food, Flirtations, and Water Toys Disaster

Timestamps: 18:53–33:47

• Kizzy and Josh Flirting:
  • Banter over perfume and bread:
    • “It’s got so fucking much love in it that you don’t even understand.” —Ben as Josh ([33:47])
    • Risqué yeast jokes escalate.
• Naughty Boys/Nautical Disasters:
  • Basic water toys (“naughty boys”—floating platforms) confound the deckhands.
  • Nearly everything goes wrong: inflating, tying, launching takes forever, and the ocean “keeps moving.”
    • “Tell the ocean to stop it.” —Ben ([26:23])
  • Max jumps in the ocean to chase a drifting Jet Ski:
    • “It’s in the motion sea!” —Ronnie as Max ([37:40])
• General Incompetence:
  • Nathan, the new bosun, is overwhelmed and frustrated—“It’s a disgrace…it’s an absolute shit show…” ([38:56])

6. Bitcoin Bros’ Dinner & More Accidental Slapstick

Timestamps: 33:47–43:24

• Bitcoin Dinner Theme:
  • The guests request a “bitcoin chocolate fantasy” party, baffling Ben & Ronnie:
    • “Totally normal.” —Ben deadpans ([34:59])
• Chef Josh’s Clowning:
  • Josh describes literally training as a clown in Nicaragua (cue hosts’ horror):
    • “This is when I started booing my television.” —Ben ([35:38])
• The Whip Fiasco:
  • The deck crew cannot secure the tender (“whip”)—a basic yachting skill.
  • Nathan and Max end up chasing a jet ski, with guests and Sandy in disbelief.
• Lamp-Smashing Finale:
  • Guests finally get on jet skis after 90 minutes; later, the return of the jet ski results in it smashing a deck lamp—twice.
    • “Watch that jet ski knock over that lamp and then knock it over a second time. So, so visceral. So great.” —Ronnie ([43:24])

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Captain Sandy’s Group Text:
  “I’m making a group text. I'm calling it Sandy and the Diarrhea Heads.” —Ben as Sandy ([02:24])

• On Chef Josh’s Artistic Identity:
  “Did Basquiat just come on board?...He is one thumbnail away from being at the MoMA.” —Ronnie ([04:48]) “He would even wear nail polish. So rebel.” —Ben ([04:04])

• Preference Sheet Shakeup:
  “Every producer on every Below Deck ever invented in one room...Preference sheet meetings in different rooms. Oh my God. We're here for another decade.” —Ben ([09:44])

• On the Guests’ Bitcoin Obsession:
  “If you’re a bitcoin person, do you really need everything to say bitcoin and have bitcoin parties?” —Ben ([11:41]) “20,000 bitcoins under the sea. Am I right, everyone?” —Ronnie ([13:34]) “Rich screams. Wealth whispers.” —Ronnie ([14:40])

• On the Deck Crew’s Complete Incompetence:
  “Tell the ocean to stop it. Cut it out, ocean.” —Ben ([26:23]) “Seriously, this show worries me. Barkley can’t do everything. He’s one man.” —Ben ([31:40]) “You have a boat crew who doesn’t know what a whip is and doesn’t know how to tie a knot. That’s not good.” —Ronnie ([38:40])

• On Jet Ski Chaos:
  “It’s in the motion sea!” —Ronnie as Max ([37:40]) “Watch that jet ski knock over that lamp and then knock it over a second time. So, so visceral. So great.” —Ronnie ([43:24])

• On the Guests’ Financial Farce:
  “Nothing could sound more Fyre Fest-y and con artist-y than this guy being like, look at me, I’m on a yacht. Buy it. Buy the bitcoin.” —Ben ([39:53])

Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Sandy’s “Diarrhea Heads” text & late-night crew chaos| 02:24–05:42 | | Nathan & Tessa arrive, Max’s infatuation | 05:42–09:17 | | Preference sheet meeting zingers | 09:17–14:28 | | Charter departure & guest arrival | 14:28–18:53 | | Max’s management delusion, deckhand confusion | 18:53–33:47 | | Food, flirting, and Naughty Boys disaster | 25:03–30:49 | | Incompetent water toys and jet ski mishap | 30:49–38:24 | | Bitcoin guests’ on-boat sales pitch | 39:04–40:53 | | Clown chef and the lamp-smashing finale | 34:59–43:24 |

Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie kept their trademark mix of affection and merciless wit, dismantling the episode’s reality TV absurdity. The combination of ill-prepared crew, overblown egos, and the most cringeworthy set of bitcoin guests yet made for one of the most entertaining Below Deck Med recaps. Even for non-Bravo regulars, their breakdown is a testament to the joys (and disasters) of reality TV chaos.

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