#3017 Below Deck Med S10E11: Bro Choice

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #3017

Episode Title: Below Deck Med S10E11: Bro Choice
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: December 9, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this raucous episode, Ben and Ronnie recap Season 10, Episode 11 ("Bro Choice") of Below Deck Mediterranean. The focus is on the long-awaited, absurdly dramatic appointment of the “Lead Deckhand,” a storyline both hosts lampoon for its utter meaninglessness. Throughout, they lovingly roast the cast’s romantic entanglements, professional mishaps, and especially the overblown importance given to the lead deckhand title. The hosts' signature Bravo-obsessed humor, improvised sketches, and sharp social observations are on full display as they dissect yacht shenanigans, bromances, boat romances, and the looming presence of the America’s Cup.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Meaningless Search for the "Lead Deckhand"

• Ronnie opens with mock-solemnity on the long search for Lead Deckhand: “Who will get the ceremonial title that means nothing at all. Who is running this country?” (03:36)
• Ben underscores the theme: “It’s not a real position. That’s, like, just the thing they do on this show.” (28:06)

Decision Drama

• Nathan is tasked with appointing the Lead Deckhand, waiting until episode 11 to do so.
• Even the hosts are confused about why the only choices seem to be Max or Joe, with newish crew V not even seriously considered despite having fewer errors than the men (27:06).
• When Joe is chosen, Max sulks, leading to mocking: “Max is very sad. ... goes to the back of the yacht and screams. I love that. Just actually going and screaming your head off works.” (31:45)

2. Cabin Fever, Boat Romance & Circling Dysfunction

• Kizzy is depicted as the embodiment of “choose one and they follow you around on a boat,” compared to choosing a soggy rigatoni at a restaurant and being haunted by it (14:47).
• Her persistent pursuit of romance with onboard colleagues—and now with guest David, an MMA fighter—draws endless host commentary:
  • “I don’t want to sleep in a bunk bed. She is just nattering away to any single person about this guy, and literally, no one cares about what Kizzy is.” (65:28)
• Romantic dramas involving Joe and V (Victoria) are lampooned as deeply predictable—Joe is already finding ways to emotionally distance now that the going gets tough (28:36, 77:21).
• Nathan’s emotional whiplash between his girlfriend Gail and his flirtation with Kizzy is mocked (“Every time I’m kissing Kizzy, I’m like, imagine if this were Gail…” 07:52).

3. America’s Cup, Workspace Mishaps, and Yacht Guest Peculiarities

• The America’s Cup is treated with faux-reverence and constant joking from the hosts and Captain Sandy: “The America’s Cup is happening right now. Some say it’s the Super Bowl of sailing. Or maybe the Super Bowl is the America’s Cup of football, right?” (39:31)
• Max repeatedly breaks rules and lies about letting a guest drive the tender, leading to further snark: “If you start lying and we start hiding things from each other, it’s not good. ... unless it’s me and I’m in the mess hall laughing and sitting on Joe’s lap...” (72:44)
• Chef Josh’s meat- and carb-centric menus for the NFL guests are lampooned (36:01, 80:11).

4. Recurring Gags: Farts, Nose-Blowing, and Provisions

• V’s continuous nose-blowing due to a sinus infection is elevated to a plotline: “Any time they cut to V, they show her blowing her nose...I don’t want to watch someone else go through that.” (15:10)
• Fart and bodily function jokes become running bits, both among the crew and hosts, with confusion as to who is responsible for what bodily emission (16:33).
• After earlier bemoaning the lack of provisions scenes on the show, Ben celebrates witnessing Kizzy carrying two bags of provisions (15:53).

5. Deeper Emotional Undercurrents and Bravo Satire

• V attempts to process grief on the anniversary of her boyfriend’s death. Captain Sandy responds with awkward but well-intentioned pep: “Life is loss, OK? Hoping you would say you’ll get through it. But…If you got time to mourn, you got time to polish a horn.” (52:10)
• Both hosts are torn between empathy for V’s loss and comic exasperation at how her grief becomes entwined with her sinus infection:
  • “She’s blowing her nose because she has a cold. Not because she’s mourning.” (70:39)
• The hosts parody Bravo tropes—romantic self-sabotage, performative sadness, and “breaking up for attention”—as universal reality TV storylines.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the lead deckhand quest:

• “Who will get the ceremonial title that means nothing at all?” (Ronnie, 03:36)

On Kizzy’s restless search for romance:

• “Like, do you think she knows she’s this cringe?” (Ben, 65:28)

On the redundancy of V’s illness as plot:

• “Any time they cut to V, they show her blowing her nose...I don’t want to watch someone else go through that.” (Ben, 15:10)

Captain Sandy’s take on grieving:

• “Life is loss, OK? ... You have to allow yourself to grieve and still function at the same time. ... Get a chamois, cry into the chamois, and then use those tears to clean streaks off the window.” (Ronnie channeling Sandy, 52:10)

On Max’s emotional meltdown:

• “He’s...just been screaming off the back of the boat for the past half an hour and crying and saying something like, ‘This is worse than the time that his parents abandoned him.’” (Ben, 33:19)

On romantic reality TV cycles:

• “The worst part of these kinds of relationships is the actual happiness part...No one wants to watch happy people. It’s disgusting.” (Ronnie, 28:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:13–05:42 – Show and bonus episode meta banter; anniversary reflections
• 05:49–08:45 – Recap begins: Kizzy’s romantic woes and the morning on the yacht
• 15:10–16:33 – V’s nose-blowing: a running joke
• 26:16–31:23 – Lead deckhand appointment tension and Joe’s coronation
• 36:01–37:57 – Kizzy’s professional athlete crush and protein-obsessed chef Josh
• 39:31–41:44 – America’s Cup: jokes and onboard viewing
• 49:01–52:10 – V’s grief talk with Captain Sandy
• 65:28–66:36 – Kizzy’s crush oversharing and sailing challenge fallout
• 70:39–71:10 – V’s illness/grief intertwinement discussed
• 72:04–73:32 – Max’s tender-driving debacle and confrontation

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Episode Flow and Tone

• Tone: Playful, irreverent, layered with satire, affectionate ridicule, and knowing Bravo fan inside jokes.
• The episode flows like a conversation between friends, punctuated by sketches, one-liners, and comic roleplay as various Bravo personalities (especially Captain Sandy and Norma).
• The hosts are unafraid to be both critical and empathetic, zooming from mockery of cast antics to sincere sympathy for genuine moments (V's grief, Max’s wounded ego).
• Long-standing podcast in-jokes (the saga of Norma, references to patreon, "crappy hour") and Bravo-verse cross-references abound, making it especially fun for devoted listeners.
• Discussions are frequently sidetracked by bodily humor, performative emotional displays, and the overuse of “all in” declarations by the cast.

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Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie’s energetic, free-flowing recap delivers an episode both hilarious and, at times, surprisingly poignant. While the real drama surrounds the mostly-moot lead deckhand selection, it’s the hosts’ lampooning of romantic self-sabotage, performative camaraderie, and Bravo-verse absurdity that drives this Almost Shakespearian comedy of errors on the Mediterranean.

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Top Takeaway:
As Ronnie puts it: “You got to pretend to be who you want to be. … That’s how Norma got to become a lead tub hand, because she’s always got a tub in her hand.” (69:18)
In Bravo and on Watch What Crappens, the line between ambition, delusion, and chaos is always gloriously blurred.

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For full context or missed laughter:
This summary covers the key episode beats, but listening is highly recommended for the hosts’ comedic timing and improvisation!

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Who cares what happens when there's so much what crap.

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[A]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello Ben.

[B]

Hi Ronnie. How's it going?

[A]

Well, so great. Thank you for asking. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Below Deck day. It's very exciting over here. Guys, we have to make a choice. The season is almost over. How have we gone so long without a lead deckhand?

[B]

Oh my goodness. Who will get the ceremonial title that means nothing at all.

[A]

Who is running this country?

So we're gonna figure that out today and every Monday now we do Amazon live at 4pm Pacific Time. That's a super good time if want to come see us act like idiots on Amazon Live. That's always fun. And we can talk to you and take your questions etc every other Monday. This coming Monday included, we are going to be doing Crappy hour. So join us for that. That's our live show where we talk to you guys about Bravo headlines, etc. And this week will be our last for the season, for the year. And guess what this week is our 600, the bonus episode, which is insane. That's insanity. And inanity. That's 600 weeks that we've been doing bonus episodes. Ben, how do you feel about that?

[B]

600 weeks? 600 divided by 52? I mean. Well, we've been doing bonus episodes since we were. We've been on Patreon, which is about 2014. So whoa. I mean, if you think about it, 52 weeks in the year, that's over 10 years of of bonus episodes, which you also could do without the math just by looking at the fact that we started in 2014. But yeah, that's crazy. Six bonus episodes.

[A]

That's a lot, guys. So join us. That is going to be a summer House preview, which is fitting because Summer House was one of. That's the first show we covered when we did our first live show in New York City with the cast of Summer House there. So that's super fun. So it's. I don't know, it's like all these nice, like, nice little anniversary things happening. So join us for that. Patreon is also where you get videos of all our recaps, like this one. And smile for the people there on the. On the video. And that's it. That's all we have to talk about today. Oh, we are recording a Christmas movie with reality gaze. That is going to be my Secret Santa. Super classy movie on Netflix. So check that out. That'll be Christmas is when that comes out. Okay, so what you want to talk about today, Man Below Deck would be.

[B]

A great thing to talk about. Very excited to chat about it.

[A]

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we've got. We got more. More adventure happening here. Adventure, but in the Mediterranean. So Kizzy is. We start off. Kizzy is still feeling like she's got all the boys wrapped on. Wrapped on a finger in a string or whatever.

[A]

She used to. She says, I used to have all the boys wrapped around my.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Wrapped like a string around my finger. And now I feel like my only option's Nathan and I don't want him. I just want a snog.

[B]

Oh, poor Kizzy. So it's the morning. The morning of the next chat charter. Okay, everyone's waking up. Max is very enthusiastic. He said, let's rock these day to Josh. Which is nice that someone's talking to Josh and acknowledging that he, This V and Joe are like, lying in bed together. And V is like, do you still want to see me after? And he's like, yes. And she's like, but what about the expiration date? He's like, well, it expired already. Sorry, I can't control myself. And then he starts kissing on her.

[A]

I'm all in with you. I'm all in. You're all I think about. Day, night. I've never felt like this. I'm all in with you.

It was reported to me. I did not watch, but apparently he was on watch what happens? And was talking about this relationship and was like, well, you know, I told her I didn't. You know, I told her what I was capable of, and she just kept trying to reel me in.

[B]

Oh, she kept on trying to reel you in. Weren't you the one who was courting her?

[A]

Didn't See that one coming, Joe. You fucking.

[B]

Just trying to reel me in. I could only give so much. I've never done this before. This is one of the craziest things I've ever done. Siric, I don't know what to do. I don't want a hair tier. So crazy.

[A]

The thing is, I open my eyes and there you are. And I close my eyes, and you're still there.

[B]

It's difficult. Nathan calls Gail from the dark, and she's like, how are you doing? And he's like, I'm just chilling on the dock. What time is it there?

[A]

Almost midnight.

[B]

He's like, oh, hell. Oh. I definitely miss Gail so much. She's my comfort zone. Every time I'm kissing Kizzy, I'm like, imagine if this were Gail, but. And then I kiss Kizzy some more, and I think, imagine if I were still kissing Gail. And then I kiss Kizzy even more, and I think, wow, this is a long kiss with Gail, except it's with Kizzy.

[A]

Yeah. I love. Nathan just tried to bang Kizzy, like, literally last night and was stymied by, what, Asia coming into the room and being like, go to bed. And now I was like, oh, I love. I just can't. I've got to stop messing with Gail. Like, oh, okay. All right, buddy. So Gail's talking about how she met that she wants to buy a sailing yacht because she met a family, and she was a deckhand, and her husband's a captain, and they've just been sailing around the world with their two kids, and that's what she wants to do with Nathan. Well, I mean, that's one way to get them to stop being randos.

[B]

Yeah. Just literally put them on a boat and sail the world. Be like, there's no one in the Pacific for you. Trap them out. He jaded with a dolphin.

I didn't like it. It was a hollow hookup. I don't like it. You're not. The dolphin's not you, girl. I don't know why I did it even. It's like I'm self destructive.

[A]

Yeah. And he woke up with zero interest in kissing Kizzy anymore because he's more focused on relationships. He care about. He cares about. I don't know about that one. I'm really. I just wish I was there to block Gail from coming onto this boat and getting impregnated.

But unfortunately, I can't be there. So they hang up their call, and then we go to Asia and the laundry, and Sandy appears, and she's like, oh, hey, hey, hey. Guess what? I don't have any clean shirts. Okay? That's. That's kind of important. All right. But you know what? I was good in the hood. Okay? Do you have fun last night? Do you have fun? Do you have fun? I had fun in a dirty shirt. It smelled. You know, that's just me. I don't want you to feel bad about it. This smell terrible. Smell like Norma. This is gentle.

[B]

You know what? You know what I say every time Norma. Norma falls into the front of her car? All's well in the hood, right? Okay, sure. Norma's in the hood.

[A]

Okay, so Norma, the only woman who cars are more afraid of than they are of the car.

[B]

You should have seen her be the love bug the first time he saw Norma. Just drove in circles and went. Sped right away as soon as possible.

[A]

Right off the cliff.

[B]

Right off the cliff. He. He said no more in this life that was last.

Yeah. That was the end of Herbie. Oh, God. Fully loaded of regret.

[A]

Speaking of love bugs, you know, crabs are the only. Norma's the only person that crabs crawl off of.

[B]

Off of. Yeah. Yeah. They get away. Oh, yeah. So anyway, Aisha, tell me something. Oh, did you have a fun time last night? Oh, we had such a good fun time. I put on my biggest puffier sleeves and had a great time. But honestly, I can't wait to see Scott, because we can't have an episode where I say I miss score. It was really difficult, though, because I was dancing with the chef and we.

[A]

Were trying to do the thumbs to the side dance, you know, as you do.

[B]

And he just couldn't really get it.

[A]

So.

[B]

I really need Scott back.

[A]

Back in my life.

[B]

Have you ever done the dance? We sit in the middle of the dance floor and you just sort of take up as much room as possible, put your hands out in each direction, and you sway left and right and left and right. It's so fun.

[A]

It's hard, isn't it? The thumb dance? No. Missing Scott. Gosh, I miss Scott. I don't really even know him. I just remember those stories you used to tell about living in a van with him and pooping in buckets. God, that's romance right there.

[B]

We're talking about Willard Scott, right? No, I don't know who that is.

[A]

I just always wanted Willer Scott to congratulate me on becoming 100. Well, I guess that dream's dead.

[B]

You know, Be nice someday to see my face on a smucker's bottle. But guess we'll just have to Wait.

[A]

So now Josh is groaning as he gets up. It's like sad clown horn. And then we go to Vee and she farts in a song. I really love the editing for Vee this year. Just really kicking her in the ass.

[B]

Vee farts. She farted?

[A]

Yeah. You didn't hear it. She was like, fart.

[B]

Oh, I thought that was. I thought that was Aisha who was farting.

[A]

I don't know. You never know on this show. Maybe we got it confused in the notes. Who knows?

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So then Max brings Kathy, a very needy mug on the deck. And it's like, hello, what's wrong? He's like, oh, I need this detachment. Since this is the first confrontation we've had, you and me, it's like, is this enough? Is it not enough? Am I being too much?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Maybe I'm too much. Maybe I'm too little. Am I too little or too much? I'm sitting on your lap. This is okay. No, I'm moving into your house. Pick somebody with luggage. Moving to your house. Mama, oh, mama, please don't leave me. So please, please stand back.

[B]

Please, please. It's too early and I'm too British for this. Please go away. Thank you so much.

Can't deal with this at all.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, oh, I always attract this kind of woman. I know they fucking like me, but they don't show it, huh? And it's pissing me off because I'm open book. I'm open book. You're an open book of fucking psycho, bro. Close your book, okay? No one wants to come across an open book. The library is not full of open books. They are full of. They're full with closed books. You have to entice me to open the book, okay? No one wants to read an open book.

[B]

Yeah, that. That book is not being read. Just because it's open doesn't mean it's good. So let's close that book and put it back on the shelf and move on. Okay. I mean, by the way, how. How, like, guy, is this to be like, oh, like, I know she likes me, but she's just not showing it. That's going to get you into big trouble someday, sir.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like you're going to be saying that in court one day for sure.

[B]

I know. She's like, okay, but we have a good thing here. I just. I'm just asking for a little bit less pressure and some more time to see where things flourish. Basically, what I'd like is for him to compliment me and then walk away. And I don't have to see him for the next 24 hours. So, yeah.

[A]

Okay, listen, we've got a good thing going. You know how you come up to me and you're simpering and sort of. And I just kind of look at you and pat you on the head and send you on your way? That's romance, right? That's romance. Please.

[B]

But you do not want cuddles. No cuddles. No, no. Just. Okay. If I look you in the eyes, that means you have to leave. Okay. Goodbye.

[A]

So he's like, I see you later. She's like, okay, well, let me know whatever it is you figure out. And he walks away. And she's just like, oh, God.

And that's the thing about being on a boat. You know, there's not many options. And once you choose, that option is always following you around. It's like going to a restaurant and ordering, like, a rigatoni. You don't. Rigatoni. It's soggy. And then the rigatoni just follows you around the restaurant. Like, have this cleared.

[B]

Yeah, just a bad choice. It's a bad haircut. You're just sort of stuck with it for a little bit.

So everyone's prepping the boat, and V and Joe are flirting. This is, by the way, a big episode for V blowing her nose. They put in any chance they can. Anytime they cut to V, they show her blowing her nose, which also I hate. On Blow Deck, when you see someone getting sick. I don't like to watch people getting sick anyway, because we've all been there. It's like, the worst. Like, that's the worst. When you feel something coming on, and then you try to, like, tell yourself it's just allergies, and you know it's not allergies, but you're getting sick. And I'm like, I don't want to watch someone else go through that. In fact, I don't want to see someone blowing their nose. Tooting their nose. So. But that's what we see the entire episode. It's like. Like everything's happening. There's chaos, there's joy, there's fun. And then it just cuts the V be like.

I don't like it.

[A]

Yeah, lots of nose blowing. So she's doing that, and Joe's still flirting with her. And Asia is complaining because there's suede on this boat. She's like, who does that? Like, this is water. We're on the water. And then Kizzy is carrying two Giant bags of. Guess what? Provisions. Which we just complained last week about not seeing provisions. And here they are. So there you go. And Nathan has a bouquet of flowers. And he's like, well, I couldn't just hunt your flowers. And she says, oh, my God, I genuinely don't even like you. And he says, yeah, the feelings mutual. I only like you when I'm drunk. And she gives him the double fingers. But.

[B]

Yeah, but it's true. So Asia. Oh, here's where Asia was farting. I apologize. So I assume then, that Vi did fart in her. Are we sure? Didn't she farted? Or she. She may have just been blowing her nose. It's hard to know what sort of ark.

[A]

She was farting out of her butt.

[B]

Well, we're blowing her nose out of.

[A]

Her butt, but, yeah, blowing her nose out of her butt.

[B]

All of the same. But now here's Asia actually farting as well in the galley. So other people hear the farts, and they react to the fart, and they move on from the fart. And now Joe and Max are on deck, and they're talking about how they. They really work together so well. And Joe's like, we work well as a team. And Max, like, oh, yeah, I work hard. I mean, you saw it for the first ch, it was only me and him. So I know he knows, like, what my value is. But I think that, like, you're better, because, bro, you go, like, more and more into, like, the finishing. Bro, when I see you like this. You like this. You're working. And I'm like, okay, okay, it's working. It's, like, so much. It's like. It's, like, a lot of work. Yeah, it's like, okay, all right.

[A]

Because we just saw. We just saw Joe on hands and knees and with his butt sticking way up. Like, he was really, like, spreading his cheeks to do it. So he's like, wow, I think you win with these. I suck on hole. And just like, well, we're gonna get money. Good times. And after this, we're gonna send it. What do you think about that?

[B]

Yes. Like Son of Zod. I'm like, I don't know what that means. So now it's time for the preference sheet meeting. Everyone gets. You know, it's funny that we call preference sheet because it's not a tablet. Should we call it preference tablet? I don't know. And if I had a preference tablet, probably be Advil. God, it's such a good pain reliever. Okay, we are doing the interior exterior preference Sheet meeting now, everyone. So let's hear what everyone wants. Okay. Charter six. Okay, Asia, do you have anything to. To say about this? It's gonna be so exciting.

Son of Sword is from Superman.

I thought Zod sounded like a Superman reference, but I couldn't be sure.

This is gonna be the most fun charter. So Kimryn is a former football player who's now in commercial real estate. He wants to treat his friends to once in a lifetime trip.

[A]

Like. Okay, you can calm down.

[B]

Commercial real estate is the most exciting thing I've heard in ages. So, Captain Commercial real estate, he's an escrow.

So Benjamin. Benjamin is Cameron's childhood best friend, and he oversees all of Cameron's business projects. That's fun. And, oh, David. David's the youngest of the group. Kizzy, do you have a ladybug yet?

[A]

Because he's like, David is fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's a professional fighter who's traveled the.

[A]

World competing in mixed martial arts.

[B]

And then because he's like, I'm getting married.

Okay. And we got tj. He's a retired NFL player because he got the Max out of his contract with his team. I'm sure. Right? Anyone get it? Okay. His name is tj. If you put TJ and Max together. Oh, in Europe, it's called TK Maxx. That's why.

[A]

Sorry, other me, I heard football and I just tuned out. Okay. Just tuned it out. Well, Mark has been Cameron Sommelier for.

[B]

The past seven years and is looking.

[A]

Forward to sharing his skills during the trip. You travel with your own sommelier?

[B]

Wow. Something. No, I think Mark was supposed to be on a different charter. I sincerely believe. I don't know this for sure. I believe that they have people that they put on these shows and they, like, mix and match them, and they're like, okay, these two people are with these two people. You guys are all gonna go on a charter together? Because it always seems like they're people that just don't like. Like, how does this person fit in with everyone else? And this happens every charter. And now you got this guy Mark. You got all these, like, these young, like, big football players. And then this, like, old. This old dude named Mark who's just, like, hanging around. I assumed he was just like an agent, but then to read now that he was the sommelier, I'm like, what?

[A]

That's crazy to travel with your sommelier.

[B]

They're doing a wine taste thing. Yeah.

[A]

So they've also got a freestyle battle rapper who toured with Lil Wayne. Okay. So it's a big one. It's a big one, guys. So just like the guests are excited to be in Barcelona during the America's cup and we're hoping that they'll get a chance to watch the race from the yacht during the trip. I've never done that before with a woman. Never done it. But I shall today. I'm a changed man.

[B]

Yeah. And at the mere mention of America's Cup. Oh, my God. The America's cup is an incredible race that happens every four years. I mean, it's the equivalent to the World cup of soccer, but it's in America, as with a cup. You know what, they also. Have you ever heard of Norma's Cup? It's basically the same thing as the America's cup, except it's basically a 32 ounce Big Gulp from 7 11. Anyway, all also very exciting. God, I can't wait to see it.

[A]

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[A]

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[A]

So Asia's like for for night one they want to have a night of espionage.

What are you going to do? Who killed the who killed the wine? Who killed the wine guy?

[B]

Night of espionage and V is like oh and day two.

The guests want to want to try their hand at selling themselves with a sailing lesson in a competition. Oh and for dinner they'd like paella valenciano.

[A]

So Josh is like oh yeah, these guys are gonna want a lot of meat. Big boys NFL Players.

So I'm gonna. I'm gonna cook 30 animals tonight.

[B]

30 animals. And also just a few carrots for Mercury. So then they're like, okay, great. This is fun. So Nathan is like, Sunday, Captain Sunday. I thought about it, and I'm gonna appoint my lead duck on now. Okay, great. I mean, we are on episode 11. We probably only have, like, three episodes left of this season, but. So glad you decided to get around to this stupid task.

[A]

Someone making pee pee in the potty. Someone making pee pee in the potty. Good for you. Choo choo, choo, choo. Open up. Getting some food. He's like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna show Captain Sandy my managerial capabilities by choosing the right lead deck. And so fingers crossed. Today goes well. Well, you've got two shitty people to choose from.

[B]

I know. So good luck. I don't.

[A]

I don't know that you can really win on this one. I think I was too new to be lead deckhand.

[B]

She's too new, but she doesn't seem to be making mistakes the way the other guys are. So why not her? Why not the.

[A]

She just made one last week with the ropes, remember?

But I don't remember what it was. So. Yeah, I think I. I mean. And to say that is kind of a low blow, though, when you're like, well, she doesn't have enough experience. I mean, you're going up against Max and Max.

[B]

But it's like. But here's the thing. This is. This is exactly the problem is, like, oh, well, she made a mistake. I mean, I'm sure she's made several mistakes over the season. And I agree she is new, but it's like she made a mistake. Meanwhile, Joe and Max make giant mistakes all the time. Max, like, was.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Driving like. Like, had the guests driving the tender, and Joe is, like, slacking off, not like, where he needs to be. And Nathan's getting, like, you know, yelled at. It's just funny that Nathan's entire decision space is still just those two. It's like V is not even in consideration. Even though she's new, but she seems to show, have, like, a lot of initiative and be doing a good job. It's just. It's so funny. It's like, yeah, but anyway, let's just look at Max and Joe.

[A]

Yeah. I just figured it's because she's new. So then we cut to Joe. But, I mean, what do I know? I don't know. I ain't getting a raise on a boat. I'll Tell you that much. I just never would be considered for that because I'm always smoking and talking, you know, So I would never be slow. So I'm just.

[B]

Okay. I'd be very slow.

[A]

I'm okay with whoever gets it because it's not me.

[B]

I'm okay with whoever gets it because it's not a real position. That's, like, just the thing they do on this show. Yeah.

[A]

So V and Joe are talking about their feelings. I can't. With these two. Just break up already. We know it's coming. Just dump each other. Because the worst part of these kinds of relationships is the actual happiness part. And I think it's like, in any TV show you watch, the worst part is watching people be happy. That's why they keep breaking them up and, like, making them fight or cheat on each other. No one wants to watch happy people. It's disgusting.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That's why shows always. Sitcoms always jump the shark when characters get married on them. Yeah. You know, or have the worst.

[A]

The worst day of being a waiter. Valentine's Day, by far. It is disgusting. And even. I mean, I know not everybody's happy who's there on a Valentine's Day, but they're pretending to be. And it's just gross to watch. Like, I don't want to watch you rubbing each other's ears over your shittily cooked steak. It's just gross.

[B]

Just the worst. Yeah. So Joe is, like, last night, me and Victoria have just started level up in our friendship or a relationship noticed. And he's also doing that thing where he's calling her Victoria because that's how. That's how sincere he is. But I'm so scared of things evolving at a very rapid pace. But I'm genuinely interested in her well being, like, is she okay? Does she need someone to talk to? Can I be there to help and support? You're the one who said, I want to see you after this charter season's done, but you're still going to, like, put it on her that things are going too fast for you. I've had enough. This.

[A]

Yeah. That said, I also don't like her using, like, the boyfriend's death as, like, some flirt. How am I trying to say it? Like, okay, will we make it past this part? I hope you're ready for me to deal with my boyfriend's death on the anniversary of his death. It just seems like such a. Like, can we go to a movie first? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I just met you, so, yeah. He does that. So then they do flirty, and then they're flirty, making jokes about, like, tying each other up with ropes. And then Nathan calls for a meeting, and he's like, we're gonna have a quick meet. And I had a chat with Captain Sandy, and she wanted me to appoint the lead deckhand. And Joe's like, oh, I've been open to the possibility. Ah. But I didn't know if I could do it. But now I'm all in. I'm all in. I'm all in with Nathan. I love Nathan. I'm gonna marry Nathan. Never thought I'd get to this point, but here I am.

[B]

This is something new for me. So Max is like, I deserve to lead that can position. Because, like, when you wanted to sleep and you had food poisoning, I was ready, like, to take responsibility over my shoulder. Okay? Because I'm a fighter. I'm a French. I will never surrender myself. I will fight until the end, you know?

Okay.

[A]

So Nathan tells him, Listen, guys. So impressed with your progress. Okay, V, you've come on leaps and bounds. Max, you've worked real hard. Joe, you've come on. You've smashed it as well. And you showed your cornhole while you were shammy in this morning. So based on obviously working with Joe previously and knowing him well and considering the fact that all four of his front teeth touch every time he smiles, I've decided to make him lead that hand.

[B]

Oh, I felt like this was going to happen. Oh, my goodness. Like, all this for nothing. What the. What the.

[A]

Thanks for delegating me later. Oh, it has nothing to do with the friendship. It's all to do with professionalism. All right?

[B]

Max is very sad. He's.

So. Max is. Max goes to the back of the yacht and screams.

[A]

Sure, there's screaming into a pillow for that one.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

I like that alternative. Just actually going and screaming your head off works.

[B]

So now that it's time to get into whites. And Kizzy is very excited.

Because she sees all these, like, professional athletes arriving, and she's like.

She's literally just being, like, a stereotypical person in heat. She's like.

It's like, okay, you need to settle down over there. Someone, like, fan this girl.

[A]

And Asia goes up to a guy.

[B]

And she's like, oh, my God, are.

[A]

You the one that's wrapped with little.

[B]

Little Wayne? It's amazing.

He's like, that's me. And he starts, like, doing a little dance. She's like, oh, has he ever done that? Have you ever done the dance on the dance floor where you stand across and you stretch and you sway back and forth there. No, no, not that one.

[A]

Sommelier is just like, I never get any ass with these people.

[B]

No. Note that he never asks to see the wine. I believe so Nathan tells Captain Sandy that Joe is lead deckhand. Okay. Oh, good. And Max is cool with it? Yeah, he is real sweet. I mean, he's just been screaming off the back of the boat for the past half an hour and crying and saying something like, this is worse than the time that his parents abandoned him. But I think he's overall pretty good with it.

[A]

Cut to Max just meditating in his room. Like, I am the leader. The leader of the deck of my own. But.

Mother.

[B]

Mother.

[A]

So he's broken out of his reverie to go take luggage. We see the boat tour, all that good stuff. The guys are playing around with weights in the gym. They're like, yeah, look at that. These weights are so small for us because we're in the NFL. And then Kizzy is already flirting with David, and he asks her name, and he does in that flirty way. He's like, what's your name?

Yeah. She's like.

So she's giggling and being weird, and it's on between those two.

[B]

You. It is. So then David's like, so where are you from? England. And he's like, oh, so now you're just single on boats? Yeah, I'm single on birds. Oh, my God. He's like, oh, me right now. This is absolutely crazy. Oh, my God.

[A]

And he says he's a professional fighter. And she's like, and you're single in professional fighting?

[B]

Oh, yes. That's game.

[A]

I've got game. I've got. What kind of questions?

[B]

Apparently. I'm sorry.

[A]

I know. Single and professional fighting.

[B]

She's like, trying to, like, give it back to him, whatever. And he's like, yeah, apparently I'm supposed to fall in love when I'm out here. Everyone says that for some reason. I don't know. Who am I gonna fall in love with?

[A]

Blink, blink, blink. They're like, oh, my God, will you? Oh, maybe you will.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

And she's like, I love athletes. My ex boyfriend's a professional athlete. So, David, here I come. Watch out. I've known someone who's played soccer before.

[B]

Well, table soccer, really. I mean, but the way he could spin those rods.

[A]

Football. I guess I should have said.

So. She's like, wow. Part of me thinks I should start a kissing bingo season.

[B]

Bingo sheet this season.

[A]

Like, yeah, you're the girl with dots all over the board, but you never win.

[B]

I know, and I get it. Somehow.

[A]

She's a bingo player. Like, I get the pain.

[B]

For whatever reason, she just does not have the star in the center of her bingo card. She's like, I gotta. I got a dysfunctional one. So then Josh is saying, football players eat a lot. The worst thing as a chef is to have guests leave the table hungry. And if that ever happens, I'll find my sous chef and slam his face up against the oven and be like, don't do that again. You know? But I don't want that with these guys. So they're getting a protein packed lunch. You might say I'm leaving it out all on the field. See what I did there? He's.

[A]

He's really overplaying this protein thing for these guys. I mean, he's like, serves them a moose for lunch. He just puts a moose out.

[B]

Yeah, it's definitely some Flintstones level meat that's going out there. It's enormous. I think these guys eat every single bite.

[A]

Yeah. So Kathy comes and sees Max and sits on his lap and she asks him, how's he doing? How he's doing? He's like, oh, bado, thank you for to make the world a more beautiful place.

[B]

Drop that anchor, guys. I feel like Max is crying, and I don't want any more French tears in this boat. So drop the anchor. Drop the anchor and get the toys out. Okay.

[A]

So now it's lunchtime, and David's flirting with Kizzy, of course. And huge steaks are served and all that good stuff. And then there are boats, sailboats, for the guests to race each other. And then we go to Kizzy talking to Josh in the kitchen, the galley, and Asia's behind her, and Kizzy's like, oh, my God, I'm just genuinely gonna.

[B]

Try to kiss this guest.

[A]

And he's like, are you actually like, yes. Well, there's no other men on this boat. I mean, literally not one single penis available left that I haven't tried yet. I mean, come on.

[B]

I mean, honestly, if I were just in the same room as someone who had a penis, I would do something. I mean, goodness. He's like, okay, so the guys all love the food, and she's just horny, you know, And. And she just keeps on saying, like, we're gonna. I'm gonna do so many cr. Him. And he's just like, okay, that's enough. I mean, Kizzy definitely gives kid sister in some Sort of musical, right? Like some sort of musical that takes place like, on a prairie. It's like, did you see Samuel today? I reckon that he likes me.

[A]

A.

[B]

Later today, he's gonna take me out to the waterfall, and I believe he's gonna say that he wants to go steady with me. I mean, like, that's all she does. She was like the girl in the kitchen who's like, he likes me. And I think I like him too. But then nothing ever happens.

[A]

Yeah, she's crying in the end. You know, that's always what happens with those characters. They act like that, but then you see them like that, they're really sad. Yeah.

[B]

Because they, like, they. They're always the ones that. The authors make them go through some terrible trauma like they're in. Like, they either get consumption or their house burns down and they have to be rescued.

[A]

Yeah, they're like.

[B]

They always go through some.

[A]

It's like the cool kid, man. It's like, it all looks like it's fun and games, but it's like you're coughing up blood and your can. Can dress by the end. Yeah. I mean, I think the fun kind of sluttiness is a little more silent. Like, I don't know my kind of sluttiness. Like, you just go, people. And it's not.

[B]

It's not a big silence.

[A]

It's a performative. It's the performative nature of the. It's the acting out. Because it could be anything. It could be someone who's really into tap dancing, you know, and that's all they do. Like, oh, my God, you guys today. Traffic was horrible. It was like a triple time step. I'm not even kidding you. You're like, okay, we get it. You tap dance, you know, Know. It's like that, but with penises.

[B]

So Asia's saying, like, you know, oh, you know, this is kind of voice. And because Kizzy knows that you can. You can have a fun flirt, but you can't ever really get to the point where they think that they could lean in and kiss you. But I'm just gonna trust Kizzy to respect those boundaries. I was like, good luck with that.

[A]

Yeah, kiss. He's like, I'm gonna shop on the bunny pad.

[B]

Please don't. All right.

[A]

So now the naughty boys go in the water, and Joe's like, now that I've got this lead, deck and roll. Nathan's got another level of trust now on deck, and we've only got half a charter of a season. Let's make It a good one. Teeth together.

[B]

So now they're putting jet skis in the water, and Joe's like, this is the best day of the season so far. And Max is just, like, doing nothing. He's just on the naughty boys, like, bouncing around. And Sandy is like, hey, guys, how was your lunch? So listen, the America's cup is happening right now. And some say it's this bowl of sailing. Or maybe I should say the super bowl is the America's cup of football, right? No offense, you guys, but, like, this is, like, really cool what's happening out there.

[A]

These boats do 65 miles an hour. That's crazy. Nisha's like, it's adults in two minutes. Okay, today's race begins with the Alingi Red Bull and the American Magic. Okay, Did I say that right? Lingy Red Bull and American Magic.

[B]

American Magic. That's. That's why I say Norma has to rely on to get a date.

[A]

Josh, put away your clown nose, okay? That wasn't a. That wasn't a cue for you to come up here, okay? Go back downstairs. I've got a penis too. We know you've got a penis. Okay? Keep it in your pants. Go down there.

[B]

Okay, everyone gather round. We got front row seats to see some boats far away. Go kind of fast, okay?

[A]

Come on.

[B]

It's be fun.

[A]

It is kind of funny watching this. Like, I get it. I believe that the America's cup is a huge deal, but it's funny watching it because it's just like.

[B]

Yeah, it's like.

And America's cup is one of the iconic, you know, major events, like sporting events in the world. Like, it's. It is super famous. But it does have. Because it's just like a boat and all you see is, like, water. It's hard to kind of like, get the sense of speed. So you're just looking at, like, a boat on water and you're like, oh, there it goes.

[A]

It's about that.

[B]

Is speed in so bad for the.

[A]

Alingi to lose it? Poor Alingi.

That's what we're gonna call him. A lingering in loss. Okay?

[B]

A lingi. Oh, God. You know, I love their cookbook. Oh, I'm sorry. That's otta lingi. So confusing sometimes. Hey, does anyone see Taylor Swift anywhere? I hear that she's into football, and this is kind of like the football of boats. So. No.

[A]

Okay, so Asia's like, oh, my God.

[B]

This is why I love yachting.

[A]

You get paid to be where people pay to be. And so Then we see basically a guy at TJ who's like, the big social media guy, I guess he's like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, football player. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But he's the one who's always doing social media is what I mean. Because we see him do a lot of stories on the boat. He's like, yeah. Have you ever seen somebody in two waters at the same time? Because I'm on the water, but I'm also in a hot tub. That's right. Instagram, double watering.

[B]

Oh, come on, tj. You're missing the boat. Going a little faster than the other boat. Come on, turn around.

[A]

So Max has connected the tender incorrectly, which is bad. And Nathan's like, it's not good. And Max is like, I'm 29. I have a goal to be Deccan and Boson. And I can lead with great authenticity, integrity, and giving clear instruction. I will be proud. I will save my grandkids.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Like Bosun for Captain San Diego. But Nathan, he make me go away from my goals. I can't let this happen.

[B]

I cannot be Boson. He said boson. Like, he. Whenever he says boson, he goes, like, really deep. He's like, so. Yeah. So he fixes it and everything, but he's definitely losing his motivation. And now Asia goes to Josh to talk about what dinner is going to be. And he has. He has this whole plan of, like, pasta and beef, potatoes and veggies and sea bass and crab and all this stuff. So Kizzy, Kathy is like, hey, Kizzy, can you go find out from the primary when he wants dinner? So she's like, emma Gold. I get to talk to David, professional athlete. Oh, my goodness. So she goes upstairs and she's like, what time do you guys want to have dinner? Like, 7, 7:30. Like, yeah, sure, that sounds great. Let's do that. But little does Kizzy realizes that she's broken a cardinal rule, which is there's a new rule that you can't ask the guests when they want to.

[A]

I was gonna say this is a new rule.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I've never heard this before.

[B]

The cardinal rule is that this is a new rule.

[A]

Yeah. So Kizzy goes to the kitchen, and she's like, okay, dinner at 7. 7:30. And he's like, oh, my God, that's early. Jesus. Fuck. And she's like, is that okay? And he goes, well, do I have a choice? I guess I don't have a choice now. I mean, what the fuck is she doing? You don't set to dinner time without talking to the chef. I don't need her distracted by a guest because now I'm the one in the shit. Oh, so you're mad that she likes the guest and not you because. Yeah. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. With the staff not telling you what time dinner is. They always tell you what time dinner is. Am I just. Have I just not noticed it?

[B]

It literally happens later in the episode when Asia goes up to someone, is like, so what time would you like to have dinner? 7:45. Like, she literally does it the next day. But I guess maybe because they had a late lunch, maybe he's like, come to me and I'll say when I would be good for me to get dinner up and then propose that time to the guests. I guess that's what he's trying to say. Well, that would be reason.

[A]

And I don't like standing up for Kizzy, but come on, sir. I think you're a little gel, because this makes no sense. And any reasonable person would have just said, oh, hey, you know what? I'm gonna need a little more time for dinner. Could you see if 8 o' clock is okay? Why so hard?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

He has a little fit instead.

[B]

Yeah. Or, like, Asia could have fixed it by saying, like, so are you thinking that, you know, 7:30 we could actually do cocktails and have dinner at 8? Because it'll be a little bit later and a little bit cooler. Like, she could come up with something some like, oh, don't you actually want it at 8:00 or at 8:30? You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here comes one right now.

Welcome to a moment of Zen with Virgin Voyages. As you know, the Real Housewives of Miami took a trip on a beautiful Virgin Voyages cruise this season.

[A]

But everyone should get a chance to do that. You, me, and the ladies of Salt Lake City.

[B]

We're joining Heather and Bronwyn from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City as they stretch out at one of our complimentary group fitness classes. That's right. At Virgin Voyages, everything from WI fi to wellness is included in your fare.

[A]

No hidden fees, just pure relaxation and rejuvenation. Whether you're sailing to the Caribbean or the Mediterranean, you'll find plenty of ways to unwind. Now let's see how Heather and Bronwyn are balancing their chakras.

Wow. Wow. Down, dog. Okay. Okay. Heather. God, I'm so glad we're taking this yoga class together.

[B]

As a sisterhood, it is our duty to not just show up for a downward dog, but be an upward presence for all of each other.

[A]

Okay, touch. Touch your toes. Okay, we're going down. We're going down. Okay, it's a little hard to do this. Could someone have told me not to wear an inflatable dinosaur today? Because that's making this a little bit difficult to reach my. My toes.

[B]

You know, as. As a sisterhood, we can come together, and we can take this inflatable thing off of you, but just know that when we do this, we do this as a sisterhood together. And furthermore, I have written three books. Just want to throw that in there.

[A]

What are you saying, Heather? What are you saying? Are you saying you would prefer me without my dinosaur costume? Well, I'm sorry, but I use these because I have trauma, and I'm just trying to make my husband happy at an airport. Well, excuse me for living, Heather.

[B]

I'm just trying to relax with my yoga. So if you. If anyone doesn't mind, I will be distributing some copies of Bad Mormon to everyone to use as yoga blocks. Okay? Please enjoy.

[A]

Oh, so now I'm a bad Mormon. Now I'm a bad Mormon. Oh, that's great. That's great. Oh, I suppose I'm a fraud and a con as well. Okay. Okay, great. Oh, what are you leaking? What are you leaking, Heather? Are you leaking my information?

[B]

I am doing nothing of the sort. This is a sisterhood, and really, all that I am concerned of is making sure I can stand on one leg in this beautiful yoga class. And I'm just going to meditate. Receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots, everything. Get me out of this thing. Namaste, folks. At Virgin Voyages, you get a perfect blend of relaxation and excitement. While we can't promise your yoga sessions will be as eventful as Heather and Bronwyn's, we know you'll have a fabulous time.

[A]

From luxurious amenities to breathtaking destinations, Virgin Voyages has it all. Make your next vacation truly unforgettable with us.

[B]

Visit virgin voyages.com or reach out to your travel advisor to start planning your dream cruise today.

[A]

So now they have to set the table. V is blowing her nose. Big, big plot point. And now we go to the mess where Kizzy and V are eating dinner, and Captain Sandy's like, oh, hey, hey. Anybody want to have a very personal talk about things? Because I'm Captain Sandy, and guess what? Hug factory is open. Okay, punch in. Anyone need one? And Sophie's like, yeah, there's something I need to inform you of. Oh, my gosh. It's not your resignation. Is that because, gosh, I really was looking forward to Promoting you to Captain Love. Promoting people.

[B]

I kind of want to make you the America's cup ambassador for our boat. Like, I don't know. So excited.

[A]

Do you know Gigi Fernandez? Okay, go ahead, go ahead. I'm all ears.

[B]

Okay. So anyway, that was a pretty funny joke. I said, it's not your resignation, is it? And then we all laugh. So. Okay, you want to follow up with something funny as well? She goes, okay, well, my boyfriend passed on my birthday last year and the one year anniversary is in four days. Oh. Oh.

[A]

I don't know if you're trying to make me feel bad that your boyfriend died or buy you a present because it's your birthday. Could you be a little more clear with your intentions? Okay.

[B]

Does this have to do with the America's Cup? Sort of. All I can. All I'm hearing people say is, America's cap. America's Cup. America's Cup. But. Okay, I'll focus. Okay, so a year ago. What happened?

[A]

He had a shallow water blackout. He was driving alone. He was diving alone. Do you just see it flash behind Captain Sandy's eyes? Diving alone, shallow water. Oh, no. Hey, is it too late to fire your boyfriend? I know he doesn't work for me. Me, but it's very dangerous.

[B]

Pay attention to me.

[A]

What I'm saying.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I just. That's so America cup right now.

[A]

So she says, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I want to hear your story, but I'm really worried about the Alinghis. Okay. Really worried about them. They're losing.

[B]

So basically he had a shallow water blackout, which happens. Can happen if you're like free. Free diving, which is so scary. And he was diving alone, so he was really like, no one was paying attention. Like he. That's dangerous to do those things alone. And so she's saying. V is saying she knew this day would come and she's been trying to mentally prepare for it as much as she can, but she's been feeling ill and exhausted. And she's like, the body really remembers very well. And you know, she says, like, it's just like a lot to juggle. And she goes, yeah, well, life is loss, okay? Hoping you would say you'll get through it. But.

It varies.

[A]

Someone older talking to somebody younger who just hasn't experienced a lot yet. You know, it's like that and it's her boyfriend. So, like, it's a very intense thing. But I mean, when you're older, you've experienced stuff like this a lot more. And so. Well, you've experienced death more. Hopefully you haven't experienced a lot of death when you're young, but as you're older, you're like, okay, but you're going to work, right? Just like, okay. That's so sad. Well, guess what? We're all gonna die. Okay? So do you want a fruit roll up or something to finish your dinner? Okay. Was this it? You're gonna tell me that people die? Whoa. Spoiler alert. I know, okay? I know. All right. Anything else you want to talk about? She's like, I mean, yeah, life is lost. She goes, yeah. You know how. You have to know how to deal with loss, okay. And you have to allow yourself to grieve and still function at the same time. Time. Which means, okay, get a chamois cry into the shammy, and then use those tears to clean streaks off the window. Okay? Your little Z er. Okay, Is that what we're calling them now? Gen Z? Because this is what you're doing to me right now with your dead boyfriend story. I fell asleep. Okay, get to.

[B]

You know who. You know who taught me that life is lost? Gigi Fernandez. We were playing tennis and she slammed a ball right into my forehead. And she goes, deal with it. Life is lost. As in, you lost this game. It's a pretty brutal way to learn the lesson, but it stayed with me ever since.

[A]

You got time to mourn. You got time to polish a horn. Okay, get to it.

[B]

Yeah, life is love. Also, you know what? Gigi also told me that life is love, which explained my score. She said, that's why you haven't scored a single point in this game, because life is love for you.

[A]

Captain Sandy's like, yeah, it's not easy. And she goes, I know, but I'll push through. She's like, yeah, or you'll be pushing through the unemployment line. Okay, get to it. Morning. Okay, Rebecca, by the way.

[B]

Okay, thanks. Thanks for ruining my America's cup high. By the way, it's having a great day. Just thinking, watching that America's Cupboat beat Alingi. Whatever. It was called the Alingi Red Bull. What a stupid name. Of course they were gonna lose.

[A]

So then we go back to Josh to the kitchen, cursing. He's like, I don't have time to cook 13 animals and at 6:05pm and he's like, I don't know if I can get this done by dinner time. Josh, don't lose it. Don't lose it. Just think of the time you grew broccoli out of human.

[B]

I'm Back in.

Hashtag Commune. So Kizzy is flirting with David while she sets the table. She's like, can I come be a ring girl at one of your fights someday? He's like, yeah, you can just be in my corner. Why do you want to be the ring girl? Just be in the corner with me. She's like, oh, because I've been a ring girl before. I thought it was so much fun. Have you ever held a number over your head before? It's, like, so exciting. Like, what a thrill. Now I just hold a shammy. It's not quite as. Quite as fascinating, but, yeah, I love holding numbers on squares. It's a great, great source of fulfillment for me.

[A]

I mean, right when you think this show can't surprise you, we find out Kizzy was a ringle of a. A number holder, a ring girl.

[B]

Someone else.

[A]

Shocking stuff. I don't know, but I feel like we have seen this. That was like, I liked mud bikes and stuff, remember? Was it Haley?

[B]

Was it her? Was it. Was it the, like, Romanian girl who was on the first season of Blow Deck Down Under? Magda?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I feel like someone was. Someone was a ring girl. Was it Ellie below deck?

[A]

Below deck.

[B]

Who was a ring girl? Who was a ring girl? Well, while you look that up, Josh is unhappy with the way his pasta is turning out, and someone's got to just remind him that it's not about the pasta. And then we see Sandy telling Nathan he's doing a good job. She's like, you know, I'm really proud of you because you're doing what a boson should do, which is make out with Kizzy a lot. So you're doing great job.

[A]

Keep it up there, okay? I'm not just talking about your wiener. All right, so we get dinner, and. Oh, wait, no. First, Max does something bad. So Max returns with the jet Ski, and they're ready to lift them into the boat. And Nathan's telling him, get off nice and gentle. And he just falls off the back. Nathan's like. He doesn't listen, does he?

[B]

He's like a child. Max drives me nuts. He is literally like a hyperactive child, and it's just too much. I'm sorry. Like, torture for me. So now dinner comes. Mushroom and truffle tortellini with king crab and some caviar. And Josh is like, go, sell the caviar. Sell the truffle. Let's go do this. Do earn this. She's like, okay, fine.

[A]

Sell it.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

So it's Not a restaurant, sir. They have to eat it. You're just handing it out. So then Josh goes to check on them, and they're like, we want to kidnap you and bring you back to the scene states. You're amazing. He's like, oh, God. Thank God. Let's just move on. Forget about that timing thing now. Just forget about it. I'm fine now.

[B]

It all worked out well. Everything is okay.

[A]

So Kizzy is now back to David. It's like, oh, my God, David's so fair. There's something about a boxer that's quite sexy. I quite fancy the idea of being a wag that just goes to games. You know, have a nice Range Rover, go to Pilates. You know, sew up your husband's face every now and then. Oh, God. It just seems great.

[B]

Sure, that will work out real well. Yeah. You know, professional athletes, they are known for really being faithful. So then.

Nathan is. Is cussing because he's still mad at Max because Max is being annoying and Max is, like, chugging out of a bottle. And now we're back in the galley, and Josh is. Kizzy's and Josh are there, and Josh is like, oh, Kizzy, you little skunk. She's like, yeah. You know when you came in earlier and you were like, Josh, seven. 7:30. I just need more time to make the food, okay? He's like, okay, we'll ask you first. He's like, please, please. Also, I just want to throw my. My clown nose into the ring as a potential penis for you. I miss. I'm just gonna try to shoot my shot right now. Don't know what you're talking about. But anyway, I'm. I'm gonna go deal with the last penis I can find on this boat, which is David. Bye.

[A]

Goodbye. So now it's nighttime, so shifts change over, and Kathy hugs Max for, you know, good night or whatever. And she's like, I've never met anyone like Max. He seems very. What's the word? Does he have a certain je ne sais quoi? She's like, what the fuck is je ne sais quoi? What? Just that.

[B]

Listen, I'm British, but doesn't mean I'm automatically sophisticated. Okay, I'm ready to leave this boat.

[A]

So now it's midnight, and Kizzy is checking on David and Mark. And so David's like, hey, you want to sit down and talk to us? Mark here is telling me something about Pinot Griglio. Okay? He's like, I think I'll leave now. Okay. I'm Not.

[B]

Mark is like, bye, guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

David's like, yeah, we were just talking about you. We both agree that you carry yourself in a very mature manner. I really love the way you kind of shrunk and held it over your head.

[A]

I know. Say it. I'm sorry to interrupt you. I just was really.

[B]

We really enjoyed the way you held that pillow right over your head. Sorry. Just getting back into shape. Into. Into round number. Shape.

[A]

Ringo shape. I'm back. But who says that to someone? We both agree that you carry yourself in a very mature manner. Ew, Gross. That sounds disgusting. Are you used to hitting on children? Who says that?

[B]

I know. She's like, of course. She's like, that's so nice, because. Are you a thrill seeker? Mark's like, okay, guys, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go hang out with my very good football friends. I'll be back. You guys are definitely my friends. I'll see you later.

[A]

I like to be kept on my toes. And he's like, oh, yes, you are a thrill seeker. Okay. Or someone who can't reach top shelves. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Like.

[A]

And she's like, yeah, I'm quite feisty. And he's like, oh, yeah. Do you ever break the rules? And she's like, oh, I'm quite bad, Fred.

I'm the ring girl, but I walk in squares.

[B]

He's like, really? She's like, yeah. I just think as long as I don't get caught, it's fine. He's like, well, you have to show me your. Your ways. Oh, I'll show you my ways tomorrow night. So then when you leave, no one's talking about it.

[A]

Oh, that's a great idea. Oh, I'm full of them. And you're gonna teach me tomorrow? Yeah, I'm gonna teach you how you're gonna navigate it. How are we gonna navigate that, little girl? So I don't know. So now they have to come up with a plan to bang tomorrow. And she's like, david doesn't really have banter. Neither do you. I mean, I have to say, this was some of the saddest banter. Just. Fuck. Like, some people don't need to talk.

[B]

I know. And then we cut to David saying. How's the saying go? You fail to prepare because you prepare to fail. If you prepare to fail, you fail to prepare.

[A]

What?

[B]

Huh? And she was like, it's really. It's really tough. I just. There's literally not a single available male on this vessel at the moment. It's very Tragic.

[A]

So wait a minute. You fail to prepare, and then you prepare to fail, which means that I did prepare because I was preparing to fail. Well, that's not the saying, but still, I mean, you're saying I didn't prepare, but I did prepare. So which is it? Did I prepare? Did I not prepare? So I don't know what you're accusing me. I'll still fuck you. I'll still fuck you. Don't worry about it. Small bump in the road.

[B]

So now it's day two of the charter. Everyone's waking up. And by the way, whatever happened to this espionage dinner? Wasn't it supposed to be an espionage.

[A]

Dinner, like, at one point? Because he goes, google espionage table.

[B]

I know. There was nothing spy like that even happened here.

[A]

Well, this was kind of spy like, their whole, like, ooh, how are we gonna do it? Oh, we're gonna have to be so sneaky. Oh, yeah, we're gonna be so sneaky. So I guess that was it. Yeah. It's a stretch, but okay. So now, second day of charter. Max and Kathy are kind of flirting. And. And by flirting, I mean he's standing in front of her with his heart be his chest with, like, hearts in his eyes. And he's like. He's like, why are you smiling like that? Oh, you have a magnet on your mouth. And I have a magnet right here on my mouth as well. Every time you watch me, your magnet pull to my magnet.

[B]

But unfortunately, I turned my magnet the other way, so that means that I will be repelling you. So have a great day. Goodbye.

[A]

Oh, magnet in my nose. Oh, God. Mommy.

So then we go to Josh making breakfast. There's some sailing. They're gonna go sailing after breakfast. Super exciting, guys. V has a sinus infection. I know. We've been worrying through three commercial breaks. Yeah, it is a sinus infection.

[B]

She has a sinus infection. She has to blow her nose with more urgency than ever before.

And then David says. He texts Kizzy, good morning, sunshine. So she's happy because, you know, the last episode. Episode she had, she woke up to no text messages. So now she's very happy getting some attention. And Joe's. Joe's like, I want to do some prep before the next anchor drop. I want to get better at this. So he's, like, doing. He's, like, practicing a little bit. And Sandy is like, hey, wait a second. The tech team looks like they're dropping anchor, but I didn't say drop the anchor. What's going on? So she comes out, and he Joe's like, oh, Captain Sunday. I just want to be prepared in case I do it. Want to put myself into a position. I just want to be put a bad for a situation. Oh, man. This is like the America's cup of deckhands right now. Wow. Mad respect for you. Whoa. I'll tell you what's all good in the hood. It's this kind of preparation. Guess who's not preparing to fail you because you're preparing to sail. Like, America's Cup. Oh, my God. It all comes together. Think about it, guys. It all comes together.

[A]

So you're saying I was preparing the whole time then. All right, you know what? Little bump in the road there. So, yeah, he's also learning. I like that we're seeing more of the real crew this season, because he's not asking Nathan. He's asking one of the real crew. He's like, hey, yeah, could you show me so I can actually learn how to do this? Thanks.

Yes. One of the homely people. God, that really shows initiative. Thanks so much. You know, Barney, Rebel normally doesn't get spoken to on this show, but you're. You're changing things.

[B]

Things.

[A]

You're going to be running this boat soon. Okay? Hugs. Distant, long distance hugs. Okay, my bro. So she's like, Joe. Joe definitely deserves to lead the title. Okay? He's strong. He's strong on deck. He knows what he's doing. I can trust him. So can Ethan. I love that they've got a great working relationship. A little too friendly at times. I think I saw one of them licking each other's nut, but, gosh, I think they're becoming more pros over bros. Okay, there we go. Can I go back to my cabin now? I just made kind of a rhyme.

[B]

Yeah. God, it feels good to be with people who appreciate comedy. Unlike nose blower over there. Am I right? So then the guests are having their morning cocktails and stuff, and Asia's like, okay, tj, here's your coffee. It's a long black. He's like, someone got me that.

[A]

So breakfast time. And someone's super excited about turkey bacon. It's a big thing that happens. And then there's gonna be a sailing thing today. And David's like, so we're gonna get a little yachty.

[B]

She's like, you're gonna be a little yachty.

[A]

And then Nathan is telling V that she's gonna get to go sailing because she was in sailing club at fsu. So she's in. And then V offers Kathy the chance to go Sailing. And so now it's time to sail. So they go sailing. Joe's asking Kizzy if she sees the state of his hair. And she's like, yeah, you know, you can barely tell. He's like, is it messy? She's like, no, the balding I'm talking about.

[B]

And then Kizzy. Kizzy and Joe are also. They're in the crew mess also. And she's like, oh, by the way, I haven't told you yet, but David sent me a good morning text. He's like, oh, you're lying. I don't know who David is. I. And I really don't care. She's like, oh, no. I'm being so serious. I think this guy would have fallen in love if I'd given him a cuddle now. I mean, I just want a cheeky. I mean, please, I don't want to sleep in a bunk bed. She is just nattering away to any single person about this guy, and literally no one cares about what Kizzy is.

[A]

No one cares, Kizzy. No one cares. I feel so bad for her. Like, do you think she knows she's this cringe?

[B]

I don't think she realizes.

[A]

So now, mortifying Benjamin starts barfing over the side of the boat, and Kathy's grossed out. She's like, this was supposed to be fun and easy. I mean, can I take my hat off to everyone that does this? America's Cup. I mean, no wonder they're in such good shape. I'm just sitting here and I'm exhausted. So now the sailing sequence is over because. Thank God, because it wasn't great. And then Max drives a tender off because he has to go pick up the guests. And then he hits awake, and we hear a guest asking if he can drive the tender back. And dun, dun, dun. We know what's going to happen.

[B]

Yeah. So Max does a double man. Yeah, Max does a double mess up here because he doesn't tell Asia that the guests are coming back. So she just happens to see it because she was looking outside the bridge. So then she's like. She rushes to get, like, wine ready. So she doesn't tell that. Doesn't tell the guests. And on top of that, he lets a guest, you know, touch the wheel. So he's really.

It's really messing up big time there. And this is the guy who wanted to be lead deckhand, but obviously he can't, so. So he's sailing in, and they're all mad at him and everything. And Nathan's like, max, there's A guests driving the tender. Has he not learned what happened last time? And, oh, my goodness, why are you doing that, Max? And where's the warning, Max? Won't you get to what you're telling you? Max. Max.

[A]

Max.

[B]

Max. Max. Max. Max. Max.

[A]

Mercks. I don't care. Just custom Max.

[B]

He's like.

[A]

So they're all pissed off at him, and he. Nathan is bitching to Kizzy about it, and he's like, in the last charter, he let someone drive the Tinder. He got bollocks for it, and now he's doing it again, and I'm sick of it. Honestly, I'm dumbfounded that he's just let the guest drive the Tinder again. He's just making stupid mistakes. And this is the reason I haven't made him lead deckhand. So he's really pissed. And kids, he's like, just fire him.

[B]

She's like, whatever. He's not sexually interested in me, so I have no need for him fire him.

[A]

So they come back, and Joe's like, what are you thinking, man? And so Nathan's like, so, did you let one of the guests drive the tender? And he's like, oh, I just wanted to see it, but it was me the whole time.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

He's like, oh, so you were in control. Oh, yeah, I was in control the old time.

[B]

Yeah. Nathan's like, I'm honestly disappointed. He's lying to my face. This isn't even. This isn't even about the lead. I can't roll. This is more personal. I don't even know if I could trust him anymore. Which is funny, because it's probably the exact same sentence that Gail will be saying as soon as she sees the footage of him kissing Kissy.

[A]

So then Max is like, I do not need this respect of Nathan. He lied to me. I think, because he told me one night out that I could be in leadership position. Listen, you gotta act like lead deckhand even when you're not lead deckhand. That's how you become lead deckhand.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Fake it till. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah, you could be in lead deckhand position except for the fact that you let that douchebag guest drive the tender, and then you really pretty much fell out from there. There's no way that he was gonna let that happen, let you be lead deckhand after that happened.

[A]

So you got to be who you. Who you want to be. You got to pretend to be who you want to be. I mean, look at Norma. You know, for years, she pretended to be a single woman who couldn't get laid. And who spent every single night of her life eating tubs of ice cream in front of a television set. And now look at her. She's a single woman, nobody wants to date, eating tubs of ice cream in front of her television set every single night. You know, that's goals. Do you understand? Okay, now get out there.

[B]

That's how Norma got to become a lead tub hand, because she's always got a tub in her hand.

[A]

She's a lead dress. Okay, so now V is talking about how Joe's checking in on these, like, how are you? And she's like, well, I have a sinus headache. And now. Now I can't breathe. And I think when bond's like, six month happened, I had these same symptoms, and I completely forgot. So I, like, at this point, I'm like, where? I can't think right now, but my body remembers, because body remembers pain. Okay, I'm sorry for what happened to you, but stop it.

[B]

You just have a cold.

[A]

You've been making out with Joe, and now you have a cold. Anybody with any sense would be like, wait a minute. I was fine until I made out with you. What is my body trying to fight off?

[B]

Well, I mean, you could make an argument that she is. She has higher levels of stress approaching this anniversary, which compromised her immune system, which meant that she was more susceptible to getting an infection or a cold or whatever. So, like, it's not. It's not out of the realm of possibilities, but there's part of me that wants to also be like, you have a cold. You. You have a cold right now. This is a cold.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know that.

[B]

You gotta go.

[A]

I get it. I get it. And part of it, even commenting on it is just insensitive, sensitive, because, like, of course she's going through things. It's just like.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

There's part of me that's like.

[B]

But she's sort of. Well, for me, it's more like I'm like, you realize you're not blowing your nose because you're mourning. You're blowing your nose because you have a cold.

[A]

I don't know why.

[B]

For some reason, it was kind of annoying me, too. And, like, I'm. It's totally insensitive because, like, what she's going through is like, I would not wish that on anyone. And it's so hard. But she's like, I think the reason why I'm feeling so sick is because, you know, my body remembers. I was like, you have a Cold. You know, that's what it is. You have a cold. But. But yeah, maybe she was. Maybe the stress.

[A]

Okay. Like, a sensitive way is she's going through a lot. Of course her body's reacting more cynical way is, stop wallowing in your pain. Like, stop trying to get attention from your pain. It's kind of getting gross to me. Sorry. I know that's bad to say. I'll get some for that. But worth it. So Kathy's like. Kizzy and Kathy are in their cabins, and they're talking about David. And she's like, well, I wake up this morning, and he sent me a whole good morning message.

[B]

Oh, my God. This. Because he is so exhausting. I don't know how Kathy even pretends to enjoy this. And Kathy goes, well, you need to give him the sugar for another 24 hours, because our tips depending on you. And she's. Kathy basically is like, well, we all have our skills in life. I'm great at organizing and polishing cutlery and being just generally a very good stew and kiss. He's good at being a flirt, so get us that tip money.

[A]

Yeah. So now we go to the crew on the back of the boat. So Joe's like, Maximus. And he's like, oh, look, I salute you. Huh? What do you want, me decant? You want the juice? You can tickle my ass, Joe. The decant. And Nathan's not laughing, and he's like, so I know for a fact you lied to me about the guests not driving the Tinder. I know for a fact.

[B]

No, I told you, bro, you can speak to anyone you want. I tell you, they drive inside the port. But after. When I was an open sea, I took back control. I'm like, that means that he drove the tender. If he drove inside the port, sir, that's actually almost seems worse. There's, like, more boats around that you can crash into.

[A]

Yeah. And he's like, but remember, Captain came down and she said, no guests can ever drive the tender. And that was the last charter. And if we start lying and we start hiding things from each other, it's not good. So we can't slack on each other. We can't just sit around and do nothing when we're on charter unless it's me and I'm in the mess hall laughing and sitting on Joe's lap or doing the box step with Joe on top of the bar. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

He. Has anyone seen the America's cup today? Oh, my God. I didn't mean to interrupt this. It's so funny. I just overheard you say we can't slack. And that's exactly why I came back here, because the whole boat needs to be wiped down. There's fingerprints everywhere. And normally I'd be yelling at you, but the fact that you were already yelling, Nathan, God, that's just great leadership right there. I'm so happy. That just made my day. That put the wind in my sail. God, America's Cup. Oh, it's all happening.

[A]

God, this boat's got more fingerprints on it than a can of Crisco. When Norma's around, just get to it. Okay, so Asha is asking Josh about dinner, and he's doing another family style thing because it's paella, and she's like.

[B]

I'm getting to the middle of the season, and I feel like it's an.

[A]

Awful lot of family style Now.

[B]

Today's paa, so I'll let it go.

[A]

But he can't keep doing this. I mean, this is a super yacht experience. If the tongs come out, it's not sophisticated.

[B]

So now V is.

Being. She's just doing something slowly because she's sick. I don't know if you heard. And Captain Sandy's like, hey, B, how do you feel? She's like, it's just, like, all the stress catching up with my body. I'm just, like, trying to breathe through, like, my symptoms. You want to get some rest? Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, go rest. Go rest and make sure you rest by a window so you can watch the America's Cup. Oh, my God. This is the best thing since wind. I mean, you know what? Normally I don't like when they take wind off the air for something, but, like, if. If they're going to take it off the air for America's Cop. Oh, God, this is a great preemption. God, I love it.

[A]

So Captain Sandy's like, nathan fees down as long as she needs. She's struggling. I don't know if you know this Patty's, remember? And he's like, okay, well, thank you, Captain. And so Joe's like, oh, Victoria's got pressure from Bond and her birthday and everything, and it's just all in this pot, and it's thick. Like, this is thick. It's in me head. I see the gravity of the situation she's dealing with. Am I the right guy to make her feel better and be there for like, okay, now you're wallowing in someone else's pain. You're so gross. You're gross. Just stop that. He's so disgusting. You knew all this was gonna happen. Yes, V is slightly getting on my nerves, but this is not a get out of jail free for you card, you pig.

[B]

Well, I just don't understand what his point is. Like, she's going through, and he's like, am I the right guy to do this? Well, there's only one fine way to find out. Like, why don't you just be there for her? But he's just clearly using this as a way to be like, okay, we've had sex. I was. I'm going to now extricate myself from this relationship when she probably needs me the most. So Nathan is like, well, that's what happens when you kiss Joel Bradley. You got infections. Hey, wait a second. I think I heard that on a podcast somewhere.

[A]

So they laugh, and then V goes down to cry, and Kathy comes to hug her. And. And she's like, I'm feeling so much. And Kathy's like, all right, take three deep breaths with me. Ready? And just say, you'll only have to see Max for another couple of weeks. You'll only have to see Max for another couple of weeks. Do you feel better?

[B]

So they. They hug, and V sobs, which is actually kind of. It's actually like, nice, because all season long, when she's been talking about her boyfriend, she's been kind of, like, laughing it off, being like, oh, you just need to laugh through it. You need to laugh through it. But you hear yourself her, like, really kind of, like, morning. So now the guests decide that they want to have dinner in the formal dining room of the boat. And Asia. This is where Asia's like, do you want to have dinner at 7:45? I'm like, well, I don't see Josh getting mad at Asia about that, but that's when they're gonna do it. And now Nathan and Joe are working, and Joe's like, hey, you know what I'm thinking about? What man me has just battered, you know, because we haven't had a one on one interaction. You know what I mean? Like, I don't even know the girl. What are you talking. What? Where did this come from? You don't even know the girl. All you do is sit there and talk with each other and say, this is first time for me. This is so exciting. I've never done this before. I haven't felt this way since I became a realtor and ate bread and then lost all the furniture in a deal that would sour gold. I don't know what to do with myself. I'M like, literally, that's all you do is talk about it. Now you're gonna say you haven't even had a one on one with her. Oh, get out.

[A]

Also, haven't you fucked twice? How is that not a one on one two times? Just such a weirdo. And someone pointed out, I didn't even notice this last week, but someone pointed out in the comments that when they were on the van and he was making out with V and Nathan was making out with Kizzy, that the boys were holding hands. Did you notice that?

[B]

I did not notice that. I wish I had.

[A]

I didn't notice it, but a commenter said that I started cracking up. He's like, well, it's very close quarters and I want at least a meter in the distance. I'm riding the wave now. I can feel like the crest, so I'm gonna have to get in. Duck, duck that. You know what I mean?

[B]

She, I, I'm still like, I'm just still laughing that this guy is now going to reframe this entire relationship that we've had to endure over several weeks of this show to say that they don't really know each other and that like, and now this is why, like, maybe he's not the right girl guy for her. Because I don't really even know her. And like, she's, she's dumping all this stuff on me. It's too much. I can't handle her crazy. It's just, it's so predictable. It's what we said exactly would happen and now it's happening.

[A]

Yeah. Especially when she told him within the first five minutes, my boyfriend died on my birthday last year. I'm super sad. My birthday's coming up. It's gonna be rough. Like, it's not like she waited and held all this and got like snagged the guy and then just dumped all this on him. Like, he's, he's really gross. So. Yeah, he's already trying to find a way to back out of this one. And Nathan's like, with Joel, the fact that he's committed to V so early. What part of what he's talking about says he's committed to her? He's sitting there telling you he's trying to find a way to dump her.

[B]

He's committed to the V. I don't know if he's committed to V. So Nathan's like, I can tell it's slightly freaking draw out and I'm afraid he might just try and push her away. It's going to be interesting. To see how it plays out. Actually, I'm going to just push back on that. I actually don't think it's going to be interesting to see it play out. I think it's just going to be very rote and standard and tiresome.

[A]

I predict what we've already seen in the previews, Joe crying. And so I predict, you know, it's just going to be Joe making it all about himself and how he's the hard one. And I told her. I told her I wasn't worth it. I'm just a bad guy because I was in real estate once and ate a loaf of bread.

[B]

If I hadn't been eating that bread, I would have realized I was selling a place to a crook. And he would have stolen all those. All those. All those furniture. Oh, my goodness. I'm so upset that I've started to do with my Nathan impersonation. Now it's much better. Back to reality. Oh, bread.

[A]

So now Josh is talking about how they're athletes and they need to carbo load. So now he's playing a game tomorrow. Yeah.

[B]

He's not running around.

[A]

It's really weird when he's around a bunch of, like, alpha men. He starts acting like, oh, you know what? They need the alphas. Protein, protein, Immediate protein. Get me 19 animals. Slaughter them all. Just slaughter them. All the athletes. Now it's time for carbo load. I know how to do this. Hey, bro. Hey.

[B]

Yeah, bro. So Nathan, they're doing some boat stuff and bringing up the jet ski. And Nathan asked Mass ask Max a question to do. Basically wants him to do something, and Max ignores him. And Nathan's like, hi, Tax depressed. You know, I'm sick of him. But Max is like, you know, he's spiraling because he's like. He's upset that he's not lead daikhan. So he's being a bad employee now. Yeah.

[A]

And he's. Max, like, wait, wait, wait. About jet ski. And Nathan's like, no, I can. I can see. And he's like, no, wait, I think, because I can see it. And he's like, okay, but something happens. Don't say anything now, okay? Because I told you. He's like, I'm the bosa. You need to listen when I tell you something. You need to listen to me. So now, yeah. So he's making all these faces and stuff, and now it's time for dinner. And Josh comes out with his paella, and he's got shrimp, lobster, mussels and chicken. Is that normal?

[B]

It's.

[A]

I'VE never heard of that. I've heard of, like, sausages. Yeah.

[B]

I've heard of chicken paella. I don't know if it's always in with the fish ones. I don't know paella very well. I know, obviously, there's seafood paella. I know there's sausage in there. I don't.

[A]

I'm not even going to pontifice with the. With the fish. I've never heard of that. But I'm no chef. So the guests are clapping and because this is, like, amazing paell.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's like amazing pie. That's what we call it. Let's look at what pai lovers call it. Pa.

[B]

So, hey, I wonder if Kizzy's in the room somewhere talking about astrophysics or current events. Let's check in. I feel like I'm in crack today. I'm in such a great mood because I'm getting attention. That's all I ever need is attention from professional athletes. Oh, what a great day it is. Guess.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, oh, I'm so glad you're happy. Oh, I'm getting attention. Honestly, that's all I need. She's like, you're so in, then. You're so in that you're never going to come out. You're not going to do what I think you're going to do. Are you him?

[B]

Probably.

Then Asia is telling guests she loves each charter because it makes her legs more toned while she gets paid because she's going up and down so many staircases. And V is blowing her nose some more, but she's still working. I guess she didn't rest that long. And there's just, like, general stuff happening on the boat. And then finally, everyone's sort of going to bed, which leaves no one awake except for Kizzy and David.

[A]

Yeah. So he's like, what are you doing? She's like, just coming to see what's doing.

Just in time. Just in time. Yeah. This location is like prime real estate as far as that goes. I mean, look at us, right out on a deck with windows that everyone can see through.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This perfect place for being espionage.

[B]

I think we're alone now, except, of course, the cameraman and the sound person who are standing right next to us.

[A]

This will be our little secret. She's like, I know that hooking up with a guest on charter is a big no, no, it's not allowed. But I've been known to bend the rules.

[B]

This is how to make the holiday special trick.

What am I going to do? I predict that she's gonna back out and she won't kiss him. I think she's all talk. She's not gonna make out with David.

[A]

That's a possibility. I predict that I will not care.

[B]

That's also a possibility. That's a reality.

[A]

Good for her either way. Get some, don't get some. What do I care? It's not unprecedented on this boat. I mean, two chief stews have hooked up. Hannah hooked up with a guest, we think. Right. Ms. Ferrier. And then Kate. I don't think Kate hooked up with a guest. I think she hooked up with that Jesus guy. Remember? The guy who was Jesus.

[B]

Right, The Jesus guy. Yes.

[A]

Yeah. But, yeah, I don't think that was a guest. Who was that guy? I forget.

[B]

He was like, this guy.

[A]

Yeah, he was like on a boat down the street or something. He just was just in the neighborhood.

[B]

Well, yeah, very exciting for. So his name is Fighting David. What? What'd you say?

[A]

Who else hooked up with the guest? I feel like someone else hooked up with the guest. Oh, I feel like Kyle hooked up the guest. But that was after Frank.

[B]

Yeah. People who've made out with guests after the charters over on land. But like, yeah, I will always remember Kyle running. Running down that street to hug Frank in the streets. Like, it was like this great romance. Oh, my God. That was one of the silliest things they ever captured.

[A]

All right, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of Blow Dick. We will be back today later today with a Summer house trailer trash 600th bonus episode. So join us on Patreon for that and we will talk to you guys later.

[B]

Bye. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alison Block clock.

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