#3018 RHOSLC S603 Part 1: Poster Child

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3018: RHOSLC S603 Part 1: Poster Child

Original Air Date: October 1, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

Overview

This episode, Ben and Ronnie dive into Part 1 of their recap of "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" Season 6, Episode 3 ("Poster Child"). The hosts revel in the new season's shenanigans, focusing on the freshly revealed taglines, cast dynamics, and emotional moments with Bravo's favorite Salt Lake ladies. The signature “mock because we love” approach is in full force as they alternate between affectionate parody, genuine emotional analysis, and riotous takedowns.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Mood (01:19 – 03:43)

• Ben and Ronnie greet listeners, riffing on having an omelette (Ben) and playing piano chords (Ronnie).
• “Welcome to the show, everybody. It's Salt Lake City day. I am Greek.” – Ronnie (01:31)
• Light-hearted mood setting before the Salt Lake City deep-dive.

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2. RHOSLC Season 6 Tagline Deep Dive (03:43 – 17:48)

Tagline Struggle: In Real Time

• The hosts attempt (and struggle) to find the actual season’s taglines through a snarky live search, highlighting Bravo internet frustration.
• "It's amazing how many articles say they have the taglines that actually don't." – Ben (04:22)
• Both mock and praise the absurdly intense interest in Housewives' opening lines.

Housewives’ Taglines & Analysis

Each tagline is read, analyzed, and roasted:

• Mary Cosby: “Just here to eat, drink and be Mary.”
  "No one does Real Housewives tagline like Mary Cosby, whether she's threatening to send Jesus after people or saying her co-stars look like sheep." – (08:05, Ronnie)
• Angie: “I am Greek. And the rest are just a tragedy.”
  "Especially like that she said, I am Greek." – Ronnie (08:31)
• Bronwyn: “If my closets had skeletons, at least they’d be well dressed.”
  Both hosts agree this one is lackluster and missed opportunities for legal/drama puns.
• Lisa Barlow: “I don’t go low. I go the dust dance.”
  "That's very good. That's a good reference to one of her taglines from last season." – Ben (10:41)
• Meredith Marks: “While you drop lies, I’m dropping the beat.”
  The hosts are entertained by her DJ ambitions:
  "There’s nothing about her that seems like there’s rhythm." – Ben (11:17)
• Heather Gay: “My nest is almost empty, and the bird is ready to soar.”
  "That's not even catchy, Heather. … What do you want for your tagline? 'I hate my children.'" – Ronnie (12:27)
• Whitney Rose: “Roses are redheads, violets are blue. Don’t come for me or I’ll come for you.”
  Both hosts skewer it for being forced.
  "This has to be the most tenuous [tagline]… You have triggered me. I am so triggered." – Ronnie (15:12)

Whitney’s Red Hair/Bullying Storyline

• Extensive mockery about the implausibility of redhead bullying being a thing in America, and how Whitney set a “trap” with her red hair for Lisa Barlow (16:41).
• "If you do that [bully redheads]… shame on you. And double shame on you for giving Whitney Rose this storyline, because I already can't stand it." – Ronnie (15:43)
• "Her tagline is like that meme, the horse that’s beautifully drawn and then just a scribble at the end." – Ben (17:01)

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3. Vita Tequila Lounge Premiere & Lisa Barlow’s Power Moves (18:04 – 26:56)

Lisa’s Command Center

• Lisa micromanages the event setup, barking orders:
  “Can we move those chairs? … Blake Lively doesn’t like vertical tables.” – (18:29)
• Parody of Lisa’s name-dropping; hosts make up wild guest lists ("Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman, Corey Smith… the ghost of Nell Carter").

Sundance Party?

• The hosts sleuth out that real celebrities are in Salt Lake City due to a film called “Mountainhead.”
• “You’ve seen me do a lot of things, boys, but you have never seen me give a mountain head.” – Ronnie (20:14)

Lisa’s Fame & Lawsuits

• Lisa claims: “If you’re like, huge, you get, like, sewed. That’s just how it is. And you know what? I’ve been sewed because I’m Shoj. … Because I’m huge.” (23:57)
• Name-drops her “army” of lawyers and pokes fun at getting sued.
• Hosts lampoon Lisa’s new-money Bragging:
  "That's what new money does. You brag about what you can afford, not what you get for free." – Ben (10:06)

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4. Bronwyn and Todd's Restaurant Scene: Family Strains and Emotional Honesty (26:56 – 36:51)

• At the Italian restaurant, Bronwyn updates Todd and the audience on her parents’ health: father with Alzheimer’s and mother’s recovery from a brain tumor.
• The hosts highlight Todd's abrasive support:
  • “You need to stop caring so much what people think. No one likes you.” – (35:00, paraphrased Ronnie/Todd)
• Emotional depth as Bronwyn discusses caregiving and her difficulty getting support and approval from her mother.

Notable Quotes

• “You can’t fix if people don’t like you. … What if there’s an active Geocities community that doesn’t like you?” – Todd/Ronnie (36:51)

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5. Angie and Her Father: Greek Identity and Heritage (37:21 – 51:41)

Fruit vs. Cake Rant

• Ronnie jokes about Angie always bringing her elderly dad fruit, demanding cookies instead. “Every time she feeds her dad, she’s feeding him, like, lettuce and fruit. You better bring me a cookie. … I’ve made it to 90 years old and you’re bringing me pineapple?” – Ronnie (37:21)

Greek Pride & Traumatic Family History

• Angie and her father reminisce over old photos, discussing why people in old pictures never smiled – leading to a history lesson/parody on camera speeds and dental hygiene (44:17 – 46:09).
• Her father’s World War II trauma is revealed:
  “They burnt everybody’s house… He was seven and they took everything…” – Ronnie (47:02)
• Angie (tearfully) connects her own trivial problems to her family’s harrowing history, which the hosts empathetically praise.
  "It is a wake up call from Greece." – Ben (48:49)

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6. Bronwyn and Muzzy (Her Mom): Dysfunction and Approval (51:41 – 60:14)

• Muzzy’s intimidating presence is set up via her notorious eyebrows; her tone is high-pitched yet biting.
• Family conversations expose deep wounds:
  • Muzzy judges Bronwyn’s choices, implying she needed Todd to get anywhere in life.
  • The hosts are harsh on Muzzy for her unkindness:
    “Don’t make me get defensive for Bronwyn… Down with Muzzy. That’s what I say.” – Ronnie (58:04)
• Ben: “Going through something doesn’t give you the right to be an absolute monster.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:31 | Ronnie | "Welcome to the show, everybody. It's Salt Lake City day. I am Greek." | | 08:05 | Ronnie | "No one does a Real Housewives tagline like Mary Cosby..." | | 15:36 | Ronnie | “We're almost as bad... as Lebanese people. We're similar. But... that's what Greek people do.” | | 17:01 | Ben | "It’s like the meme of the horse, beautifully drawn and then just a scribble..." | | 18:29 | Lisa Barlow* | "Can we move those chairs? ...Blake Lively doesn’t like vertical tables..." | | 23:57 | Lisa Barlow* | "If you're like, huge, you get, like, sewed. That's just how it is..." | | 35:00 | Todd (Ronnie) | "No one likes you, Bronwyn. You're the only person in the neighborhood... No one likes you." | | 44:17 | Ronnie | "I wish we could normalize [not smiling in photos] again..." | | 48:49 | Ben | "It is a wake up call from Greece." | | 58:04 | Ronnie | “Don’t make me get defensive for Bronwyn...Down with Muzzy. That’s what I say.” |

*In-character impersonation.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:19: Episode proper begins – Salt Lake City day!
• 03:43 – 17:48: Taglines discovery, analysis, jokes.
• 18:04 – 26:56: Lisa Barlow’s Vita Tequila party; event-planning chaos and name-dropping.
• 26:56 – 36:51: Bronwyn and Todd at the Italian restaurant – family illness, emotional honesty.
• 37:21 – 51:41: Angie with her dad – Greek pride, WWII trauma, generational perspective.
• 51:41 – 60:14: Bronwyn and mother Muzzy – difficult family dynamics.
• 60:14: End of Part 1 – cliffhanger for listeners to find Part 2.

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Tone & Style

• The hosts alternate between sharp satire and heartfelt commentary.
• Frequent impersonations of cast members (especially Lisa Barlow) keep the recap rooted in Crappens’ signature parody.
• They embrace and mock Bravo drama tropes, all while occasionally becoming sincerely moved by the show's emotional beats.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

Ben and Ronnie’s recap of RHOSLC S6E3 is both irreverent and insightful—a blend of in-jokes for Bravo obsessives and relatable humor about family, heritage, and the absurd priorities of Housewives drama. If you missed the episode, you’ll come away knowing the new taglines, the family backgrounds at play (including real WWII trauma), and the unfiltered opinions the hosts have about every cast member—Greek or otherwise. All while enjoying a barrage of playful, punchy impressions and tangents about edible arrangements, mall stores, and the existential terror of bad WiFi.

To hear the cliffhanger’s conclusion, seek out Part 2!

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ben Uni]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Uni]

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[Ronnie]

French toast nibblers or breakfast nachos. Actually, I was thinking about heading out. Only because I want to beat the traffic. The best part of the sleepovers. The next day I was going to throw the games on Bobby Big Wheels. I mean, how can you call yourself.

[Ben Uni]

A sports fan without Xfinity? We got the multi view best college.

[Ronnie]

And pro games all in one place.

[Ben Uni]

I'm not going anywhere. This is how football was meant to be watched.

[Ronnie]

Xfinity. Imagine that.

[Ben Uni]

Restrictions apply. MultiView requires Xfinity 4K capable TV box. That happens.

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Croppens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben Uni over there. Hello, Ben, how are you?

[Ben Uni]

Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? How are you?

[Ronnie]

Are you good? Welcome to the show, everybody. It's Salt Lake City day. I am Greek.

[Ben Uni]

I am Greek.

[Ronnie]

Coming to you with breaking news on Salt Lake City. It's a huge day. We found out Angie came out of the closet yesterday. She is Greek. She is officially Greek. Crazy.

[Ben Uni]

Wow. I was concerned. I was concerned that that wasn't like that she might be Luxembourgian. But now we know for sure, my.

[Ronnie]

Sweet little Dolma over there. So welcome everybody. We did Love Megan with Love Megan. Sorry, no disrespect intended. Meg's. We did the Netflix show with love Megan over on our Patreon this week. Go check that out. And if you want videos every day of our shows, all you have to do is go go to Patreon. Thanks to everybody over at Patreon. Sure love you. And we're going to be doing crappy hour live this coming Monday, the something at 5:30pm Pacific Time. You can find that over on our YouTube. You can find reminders on our Instagram, all that good stuff. So join us for that. You know what? That's all I have to say about that. That's it.

[Ben Uni]

All you gotta say.

[Ronnie]

So how are you feeling this Monday?

[Ben Uni]

Feeling great. Feeling great. Highly entertained by Salt Lake City as usual and really amused by Whitney Rose, going nuts at the end. Also very happy to have our taglines at long last. And I actually, on the whole, I actually really liked this crop of taglines. Whitney's was hilariously over.

[Ronnie]

I.

[Ben Uni]

Not. It's not overproduced. It's over labored. It's. It's too much. I don't know. But it was so Whitney Rose. I guess I'm. I'm feeling good and I'm having a nice morning. I had an omelette, so that's. That's a nice touch.

[Ronnie]

That's a big one.

[Ben Uni]

It's a nice touch. I had an omelette, my friend. One.

[Ronnie]

Okay, well, that's pretty good. I was going to say we're doing nothing, but, I mean, you had an omelette and you have a fantasy football, so that's more than me. Yeah, I practice seventh chords on the piano. What do you think about that?

[Ben Uni]

Wow.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so let's get to it. We are with Salt Lake City Season 6, Episode 3, and we open at the Vita at the premiere. Vita Tequila Lounge.

[Ben Uni]

Yes. But you know what, though? Why don't we. We should talk about the taglines. Should I bring them up? I'm gonna pull up the taglines. You vamp.

[Ronnie]

They haven't even happened yet.

[Ben Uni]

The taglines were in this episode.

[Ronnie]

I know. They're in our notes, though. They're just after this little stream.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, I guess I was like, wait.

[Ronnie]

Oh, no, maybe they're not. You know, they're not. That was. No, they're not. Oh, darn, I thought they were here. I mean, what the hell? We have to look up our taglines now.

[Ben Uni]

That's okay.

[Ronnie]

Or else we can do it.

[Ben Uni]

Okay. Salt Lake City taglines. Wow. The Salt Lake City 6 taglines hint at major tragedy and lies. Wow. Okay, that's a little dramatic. Okay, here we go. I'm sending you. That's a bit. It's a bit much. Okay. Okay, well. Well, that's. It's amazing how many, like, articles are out there that say they have the taglines that actually don't have the taglines. Yeah, that's what I'm going to review.

[Ronnie]

I'm looking at reality Tea. I think we're supposed to watch a video. I ain't watching that video. I already saw it.

[Ben Uni]

You want to see texts?

[Ronnie]

I already.

[Ben Uni]

We want to see texts of the taglines. All right, well, you know what? We don't have the tagline.

[Ronnie]

You know what? Yes, we do. We have them on good old fashioned Reddit. Where else are you going to get Anything in this world.

[Ben Uni]

Thank God.

[Ronnie]

The biggest news organization on the planet ready to. Okay, sending it over to people.

[Ben Uni]

Are people enjoying the. The real time? Oh, oh, wait. I found it on Reality T. You did? Wait, a new real.

[Ronnie]

Well, a different reality tea. Sorry, Reality.

[Ben Uni]

No, I got conned again. Oh, no, I did, I did, I did. I found it, everyone. I found it. Guys, this is for the listeners. We're not very tall. This is what we do. Off. Oh, you all.

[Ronnie]

This is how we start. We've had literally 12 something something hours to prepare, and we're like, what? Okay, so first up is Lisa Barlow. Okay.

[Lisa Barlow]

Tequila is my livelihood, my lifestyle, and always top shelf.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. To kill us, my livelihood. That's. That's good. Wait, these are. Ronnie, these are a year ago. You're. You gave old taglines.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I did, yes. Here, don't. But that was a nice throwback. The receipts proof and the screenshots. Oh, God, if it was Feather did that fucking receipts proof timeline thing again.

[Ben Uni]

Okay, well, here we go. I sent you a new Reality Tea link. They ranked them, what they say, from best to worst. I just want the audience to know that this isn't necessarily our rank, but this is the order in which we'll be reading them off of the website. So thank you, Internet. Like, this is the moment that the Internet is failing for us. I just want to also point out, like, the Internet is so reliable and why is it that on this one it's so difficult for us?

[Ronnie]

So the. So. So it's ranked from best tourist. I agree with our first ranking.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, this one's a really good one. This is Mary Cosby saying, just here to eat, drink and be merry.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Because that is all Mary is there to do. She's literally like, I'm just going to show up at the lunches and make comments, and I'm fine with it. That's all I really need from. That's all I really need. Because she does that very, very well. Their set taking these pictures on is very gorgeous, by the way.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

They have like a ski lodge set and it's very pretty.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, well, it sort of looks like an AI rendering, but that's. It's. It's well prompted, like they used to.

[Ronnie]

Well, we're all gonna be living there soon, so just get used to it. Get ready to upload your brain and be sent there. But it's very nice. You know, the rug is very vacuumed. You see the clean lines in the rug and they're wearing blues, blues and purples. And Mary is wearing, like, an evening gown with big fuzzy sleeves.

[Ben Uni]

Well, these are also old as well, because.

[Ronnie]

For Christ's sake, can we get anything new pictures?

[Ben Uni]

Well, because the picture.

[Lisa Barlow]

The.

[Ben Uni]

The new imagery for this season is they're all in white, and these are. These are. This is just what I think what reality TV could find.

[Ronnie]

Oh, okay.

[Ben Uni]

And it doesn't take away from the fact that they're very nice pictures.

[Ronnie]

I love their copy, too. It's really funny. No one does a Real Housewives tagline like Mary Cosby. Whether she's threatening to send Jesus after people or saying her co stars look like sheep, you never know what she's going to say.

[Ben Uni]

It's true.

[Ronnie]

Okay, next up is Angie. I am Greek. And the rest are just a tragedy.

[Ben Uni]

That's really good. I really like that one a lot.

[Ronnie]

Especially like that she said, I am Greek.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. I'm, like, really happy she finally got to just say it. Say it in a tagline. I am Greek. And the rest are just a tragedy.

[Ronnie]

That's pretty cute.

[Ben Uni]

The next one is Bronwyn that says if my closets had skeletons, at least they'd be well dressed.

[Lisa Barlow]

Mm.

[Ben Uni]

I actually. I don't think this is a very strong one. I wouldn't. Reality T Ranking this as their number three favorite, I think is a little generous.

[Ronnie]

I think she should have said something like, they're trying to come for me, but my lips are sealed. Because her whole thing is, like, she won't answer questions about her fraud and grand theft and all that stuff because the cases are sealed. So I think she should have had a sealed thing or, you know, I don't know. Something about going after someone in court. I don't know.

[Ben Uni]

Or if my closet had skeletons. Those skeletons would have started a company called Palm Pilot. If my closet had skeletons, Christian Sirianna would dress them.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And I would pay for it. I've never heard someone brag so much about having to pay a designer, by the way, because she's really, like, very proud of the fact that she's one of the only people that pays. Christian Siriano. And then I'll watch what happens live. He's like, yeah, she does pay. She's one of the only ones who pays. And she paid for this dress, too. And she's like, yeah, I paid. And I was like, that's. I don't know. You're supposed to brag about getting things for free, not paying for them if you're a celebrity.

[Ben Uni]

But I think on the real. But, like, that's what new money does is like, you actually brag about what you could afford. Not, like, not what you could afford.

[Ronnie]

It, but you don't have to. You know, that's why Lisa Rinna is always going to the Oscars for free because she finds people to give her a table. You know, she probably could buy a table, but, you know, it's better that you can be like, elton invited me. Okay. Yeah, Elton. Elton's a huge Days of Our Lives fan from back in the day.

[Ben Uni]

Huge.

[Ronnie]

So next up is Lisa Barlow.

[Lisa Barlow]

I don't go low. I go the dust dance.

[Ben Uni]

See, I think that's very good. That's a good reference to, like, one of her taglines from last season. I think that reality tea should have ranked it higher. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know this is not a referendum. Unreality tea. But, like, if you're gonna do ranking, then this is. This is how it happens. But I do think that the Lisa Barlow one should be. I think that should be number three and not number four. I think it's a very strong contender.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, I think that one's. Okay. So then we. Oh, you're next, Meredith Marks.

[Ben Uni]

While you drop lies, I'm dropping the.

[Todd]

Beat.

[Ben Uni]

Which is funny to anyone who has no idea. If people. If there's someone watching the show who has no idea that she has this, like, this little DJ career that she's kickstarting, literally tomorrow night in Los Angeles is her tour, then you're just so confused. Like, what does it mean that Meredith Mark has the. Is dropping the beat? Like, she literally. There's nothing about her that seems like there's rhythm like this. I do not associate the concept of rhythm with Meredith Marks.

[Ronnie]

Well, you will now, buddy. Yeah. I'm excited to see her journey, her DJ journey. Next up is Heather Gay.

[Lisa Barlow]

My nest is almost empty, and the bird is ready to soar.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, I.

[Ronnie]

That's stupid.

[Ben Uni]

This. It's. Yeah, yeah. It's like. It's just like, you're still guilt. You're guilt tripping your daughters in your tagline. Like, this bird's wings are clipped. This mama bird is sad in her nest watching other birds fly, but finally she can fly, but maybe it's too late for her because she'll fly and not fly as well and get attacked by a hawk. And it's kind of her daughter's fault because she had to spend so much time with them in the nest. Yay.

[Lisa Barlow]

Disgusting daughters are out of here.

[Ronnie]

Goodbye, Gross, smelly, disgusting daughters. That's not even catchy Heather. Hey, Heather. What do you want for your tagline this year?

[Lisa Barlow]

I hate my children.

[Ben Uni]

She posted something on Instagram a few days ago that was like one of the great honors of my life is raising my daughters. It was like a carousel about her daughters. I was like, nice backpedaling. Even though I think you're totally, it's totally fine to say, like, thank God the kids are out of the house. I think it's like, totally valid.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben Uni]

And I don't think that I have no issues with that whatsoever. I just think it's funny that she sort of is like. She's like trying to sort of play it both ways.

[Ronnie]

Like.

[Ben Uni]

No, I mean, I love my daughters. I really do. I just, I'm so miserable that they're in the house.

[Ronnie]

I mean.

[Ben Uni]

No, I mean, I love them though.

[Ronnie]

See, you know, it's totally normal, I think, for a parent to be like, oh my God, the kids are out. I've got a whole new life. What do I do? It's like the empty nest storyline. We've seen it a million times. We've seen it in real life a million times. I mean, we're of the age where we know tons of people whose kids are out of the house and all that stuff. So it's like, it's not like it's something new to us. And it's not a disgusting thing to say. I'd have a party when my kids left. Personally, it's just how she's handling it is so ham handed. I think she thinks she's doing something that she's not. You know, I think she's going with the I'm going to do an empty nest storyline. So I'm going to talk about it every time I'm on screen about how excited I am to finally be an empty nester. But it's coming across as like, fuck those bitches. I'm sad they came out of me at the first place and I'm glad they're stinky asses are out of here. I hope I never have to see them again.

[Ben Uni]

Well, because her problem is that she's trying to link it to her Mormon trauma. So she's like, you know, I was told I just have to be a mother and I have to do this and I couldn't even be myself and I was trapped and I was in my bed and I had to do this. But now that they're out, I can finally be me. Instead of saying like, I'm so excited for my daughters, but I'm also so Excited to start a new chapter where for the first time, it's just me. And I can see what it's like to be adult Heather and not having to look after anyone except for myself, which is, I think a different vibe.

[Ronnie]

Should be the tagline. Say it again.

[Ben Uni]

Starting a new chapter. I love my daughters and I'm so excited.

[Ronnie]

I'm just kidding. It's like a whole paragraph long. Proof, timeline. Thank God my daughters are out of my receipts.

[Ben Uni]

I prove in my timeline. Speaking of paragraphs, we. We end with Whitney Rose, who is. Roses are redheads, Violets are blue. Don't come for me or I'll come for you. It's so stupid.

[Ronnie]

We're talking about tenuous grasps on Real Housewives taglines. This has to be the most tenuous. I mean, and storylines in general. I mean, everyone else. You know, some people are giving Angie shit for saying I am Greek too much. I don'. Care if she says that she's Greek every five minutes. Guess why? Because she's Greek. And guess why else? Because that's what Greek people do. Have you guys met a Greek person? Okay.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ronnie]

We're almost as bad. I would like to say we're almost as bad as Lebanese people. We're similar. I would like to say that we're similar, but we get. When I first had a group of Greek friends in high school, I mean, our cultures are very similar, right? Greek and Lebanese. Our food is very similar. I should say that. And very family oriented and all that. Like, my whole family went to see my big fat Greek wedding a million times because we've all been to that wedding before in our own family. We get it. A Lebanese person will get that. Anyone who's known a Greek person knows that they're like that. So I don't mind Angie's, but Whitney's. I mean, Whitney's is that she got red hair in solidarity with her daughter because her daughter gets bullying for red hair. First of all, what country are we in? We don't bully people for red hair here. That's England. Like, ginger's a cute name here, isn't it? I don't think that's something. Don't we have enough that we're bullied over in this country? We've got enough. Stop. Fuck bullying redheads, you idiots. If you do that. You know what? Shame on you if you do that. And double shame on you for giving Whitney Rose this storyline, because I already can't stand it.

[Ben Uni]

Well, Whitney knew she was setting a trap for Lisa Barlow to fall into, which she does later this episode when Lisa's like, redhead, Redhead. So, you know.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah, we've. She already posted a big victim thing on Instagram about it, which I'll read when we get to that part.

[Ben Uni]

But I do think it's tenuous. I mean, like, the initial pun of, like, roses are red is funny because, like, she's Whitney Rose. Roses are red. She has a red hair. But then they sort of don't know where to go with it. Like, roses are red, violets are. Roses are redheads, violets are blue. But then the don't come for me or else I'll come for you is like, just. It sort of is like a declining thing. It's like that. That meme of, like, the donkey or the horse that's being drawn really beautifully, but by the end of the horse, it's just like. It's just like scribble. Scrabble. That's what that line is like.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, you know, she tried it, but it is funny because it's still a Whitney tagline. Roses are redheads, violets are blue. Rest, don't come for me. Heads are all come for you.

[Todd]

Beds.

[Ronnie]

Okay, are we done? Can I go home?

[Ben Uni]

She recites it so slowly. I'm like, you're taking up 37% of the opening credits just getting through your line.

[Ronnie]

Whitney can never leave this show because she makes me laugh fucking consistently every single episode, she makes me laugh. You have triggered me. I am so triggered. I mean, I just love it. Okay, so here we are. We open at the premiere Vita Tequila Lounge. And this is my favorite kind of Lisa scene where she just walks around barking orders at people who probably don't even work for her, you know?

[Lisa Barlow]

Yeah, you know what? Can we move those chairs? Because there's chairs there. You know what? There's tables there. Can we move the tables? Because I don't like how those tables are. Blake Lively doesn't like vertical tables. Can we have three legged tables? Can we just get three legged tables? RIP Robert Redford. I miss you, Sundance.

[Ben Uni]

You know, after Amma's party, I'm, like, exhausted with, like, talking about these, like, ridiculous lawsuits with these girls. Cause, like, while they're trying to convince. Convince themselves that I'm, like, in, like, Dire Straits, the truth is, I was never in that band, okay? So I'm just, like, moving on, okay? So by the way, America, at this party that you're never gonna see, that's at this random restaurant, we have Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman, Corey Smith, Ramsay Youssef. Also the ghost of Nell Carter and as well as the Cesar Milani is going to whisper to some dogs. It's going to be a huge party.

[Ronnie]

So is Sundance going on right now while they're shooting this? What's happening? Why are all these people coming to the premiere, Vita?

[Ben Uni]

Well, I just can't tell. Maybe it was a Sundance party. Should we look to see if there's a party that had all those people at it?

[Ronnie]

I did. That's what I just googled.

[Ben Uni]

I don't even know who Corey Smith is, by the way, and I don't like. And the fact that Corey Smith got higher billing than. Than Rami Yousef is is shocking because I don't know who he is.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I think they're there because they starred in a film called Mountainhead together, which I'm assuming shot Salt Lake City.

[Ben Uni]

Because I'm not a gay porn mountain head.

[Ronnie]

You've seen me do a lot of things, boys, but you have never seen me give a mountain head.

[Lisa Barlow]

Here we go.

[Ronnie]

Mountain head. Four wealthy friends meet for a retreat amidst growing global upheaval caused by AI Generated disinformation. Oh, really? So you're gonna go to a retreat.

[Lisa Barlow]

Someplace where the backdrop of the lodge.

[Ronnie]

Was made with AI Okay. Yeah. It stars Jesse Armstrong. Oh, no. Written by. Okay. Written by Jesse Armstrong. Starring Steve Carell, Jason Schwarzman, Corey Michael Smith. Rami Youssef. Wow.

[Ben Uni]

Or as Lisa calls him, Ramsey Youssef, but maybe that's his full name. Not sure. But I just thought it was funny because I feel like he's known as Rami Ramses. Ramses Yousef.

[Ronnie]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.

[Ben Uni]

First of all, sounds like a great movie, I have to say. I mean, nothing. You know what? I love a movie about, like, four guys who get together during an AI apocalypse. I'm like, hello, Sign me up. And I'd love four rich guys in.

[Ronnie]

The ski lodge talking about the end of the world. I'm in. I'm in.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. Wow. Great time. Oh, yes. Is his name Ramsey Yousef? Okay, never mind. I have to move forward.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's over. Put down the IMDb.

[Ben Uni]

It's over.

[Ronnie]

Put down the IMDb because next thing you know, you're going to be dragged into Heather Kent IMDb page, as we all do when we go to IMDb. We fall down the Heather Kent wormhole.

[Ben Uni]

By the way, as far as I can tell, his name is Rami, and Ramsay Yousef is someone completely different. And we won't get into it.

[Ronnie]

Okay, well, maybe it was the other Ramsey. We don't know. We don't know what's going on at this party. So Lisa's like, the other girls, they.

[Lisa Barlow]

Just don't understand what I do. Like, they always wanted to menace it. They always want to, like, act like it's not happening and it's not real. But I'm, like, doing stuff. I'm doing stuff with Daniel Radcliffe, Usher, Dexter, Forest Whitaker, Shailene Woodley. I mean, huge. Like, it's like, huge, people. Like, huge. It's huge.

[Ben Uni]

When she says she's doing stuff with Usher, does she mean the recording artist, or does she just, like telling an usher in the movie theater to get her more popcorn? Because there is a difference.

[Ronnie]

You never know. Maybe that's the one she's telling to move the table.

[Lisa Barlow]

Check. You know what? I like horizontal tables. I only like horizontal tables.

[Ben Uni]

I love this, like, random hodgepodge of people that she's name dropping. Daniel Radcliffe, Forest Whitaker, Usher. Like, I'm. I'm so confused. I want to get to the bottom of it. I'm surprised our, like, Reddit sleuths have not dug up the veracity of these claims.

[Ronnie]

Well, we already found the first one. Okay. We already found why they would be there. So I just put all of those names that she just mentioned into the search, and the first thing that came up is IMDb, the 100 worst movies of 2020. So congratulations, Shailene Wood.

[Ben Uni]

Definitely find. By the way, hello, workers. Definitely find out if anyone has, like, a nut allergy. Because, like, my mouth doesn't like the nuts, but I love the way they taste. Like, luckily, I don't go into anaphylactic shock, and John's like, so many jokes that can be said right now, but.

[Ronnie]

I'm really Mormon, so I'm not gonna say. And she also says anaphylactic or something. I like how she said. I like how she pronounced that.

[Lisa Barlow]

She's like, you know what? Yeah, not allergies, because Blake. Oh, my God, watch. Get an EpiPen. So you know what? No one understands in this group. Like, if you're, like, huge, you get, like, sewed. That's just how it is. And you know what? I've been sewed because I'm Shoj. And so you know what? I'm gonna be Shouger tomorrow. So I'm gonna be Seweder tomorrow. I'm gonna be sew sewed. And that's just what it is. That's what it is. Because I'm huge. And those girls just don't get it. They just don't. It's just because I'm really big. So, so sorry, girl. Sorry. You're so small.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, we have.

[Lisa Barlow]

We're, like, lawyered up.

[Ben Uni]

Like, we have more than six lawyers. We have, like, a lawyer for everything. We even got the Lincoln lawyer, both Matthew McConaughey and the guy who plays him on Netflix. Yeah, we got them all. Okay. Because I'm fabulous and I'm fine. Am I sounding too braggy? But it's true. I've done amazing things. I've been in the same vicinity as Blake Lively. That's pretty cool if you ask me.

[Lisa Barlow]

Yeah. We even used to have Jeanine Perro, but she was drinking all the Vita, so we had to ask her to stop coming. But still, lots of lawyers. Huge.

[Ronnie]

So then we see a flashback where she's talking with Amy, the Utah socialite that they give another chance to. And I'm telling you this. Amy tried it today. She said one thing today, which I was proud of. Amy. But, Amy, you're not messy enough. You're gonna have to go.

[Ben Uni]

Amy looks horrified by this. I don't think Amy realized what she was getting involved with. She does.

[Ronnie]

Amy looks horrified.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So we see a flashback to her hanging out with Amy, and she's like.

[Lisa Barlow]

Yeah, you know what? Like, love this time of year, because up at Blue sky, like, that's my favorite property in Park City. And, like, me, you, Mary Meredith, and Heather, we're going to go skeet shooting. Yeah. Because then we're going to have a great little lunch after. And then for the party after, like, I've invited other people that I don't like very much because they're going to be jealous that we miss shooting at Blue Sky. Yeah, they don't get to because they don't do big things.

[Ben Uni]

Amy's like, so they're going to meet us.

[Lisa Barlow]

Yeah. You can't talk. You haven't been here long enough. So I'm not going to let you finish this sentence.

[Ben Uni]

Well, that's really big.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You can't lunch.

[Lisa Barlow]

You can't talk.

[Ben Uni]

Well, it's Blake Lively, though.

[Lisa Barlow]

Blake Lively. Yeah. She's married to Ryan Reynolds. Deadpan. I love Deadpan. It's such a good movie. I think Tom Cruise was going to be in it, but he was busy helping us with the apps listed. Vita.

[Ben Uni]

I. I thought we were.

[Lisa Barlow]

Why is she still talking? Who's this person?

[Ben Uni]

So I won't be opening the account here.

[Lisa Barlow]

Yes. Done.

[Ben Uni]

This isn't the same.

[Ronnie]

It's not coming.

[Lisa Barlow]

Why is this conversation so dad? Yeah, you know, it's big. Wait till you see what I have planned for lunch, though. Amy the socialite. Because it's. I'm always a target, so it's time to switch it around. Okay, well, turn off the cameras, someone. Don't make me shoot with her again.

[Ben Uni]

So then we go to Bronwyn and Todd, and they're eating at Mateo Restaurant Italiano. And Bronwyn is. They walk in and Brahman's like. So, Todd, do you understand why. Why, why I brought you here?

[Todd]

Is it the early bird special? Because I appreciate that.

[Ben Uni]

Well, no, but I appreciate I thought we'd have our own nice little taste of Italy.

[Todd]

No, I don't think so. More like Taste of Butt Farts. That's what this place reminds me of.

[Ben Uni]

Okay, Todd. Well, just trying to. Trying to make things right between us. So we're gonna have pasta. Todd, you like pasta, right?

[Todd]

Right, Todd?

[Ronnie]

She doesn't always say that.

[Lisa Barlow]

She goes, I wore Dolce, which means we're having pasta.

[Ronnie]

Oh, great. You're basically wearing 19,000 plates of pasta, Bronwyn. Great.

[Todd]

Do they have.

[Ronnie]

Fettuccine?

[Todd]

Al Werther's Original.

[Ben Uni]

Todd, they don't make Italian pasta sauce out of Werther's Originals.

[Todd]

Well, I bet they do if you tried. You just have to put some muscle into it.

[Ronnie]

Todd, I brought you to the place with the mushiest food in history. Italian. So she updates us on her life.

[Lisa Barlow]

A lot has changed in my house.

[Ronnie]

Yep, the Newport Bradley household, which is a new thing that we're going with. Newport Bradley has totally flipped because the biggest takeaway from New York was Todd's willingness to see that people were saying about how he speaks to me.

[Lisa Barlow]

And he acknowledges it, which you'll notice.

[Ronnie]

In the scene as he crosses his arms right under his low hanging nipples and stares at the exit the entire time. So we're really working on things. It's going great. It's great. I worked all day. We're eating pasta, I'm with Todd, Everything's.

[Ben Uni]

And if I'm being honest, Todd's probably made more changes than I have made since the new year. I'm still the same old me. Okay, so what else is going on with Todd? Did you play a crossword puzzle today? What'd you do all day?

[Todd]

I just got made a couple of calls. I. I called the department of get off my lawn, but I got a busy signal, unfortunately.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. What do you think I did? I got dressed in The Speedo did some push ups, tossed back some 40s with the bros. What do you think I did? I worked so you could wear some Dolce and eat some mushy pasta. You see, look at Todd.

[Lisa Barlow]

He's really come back charming, hasn't he?

[Ronnie]

God, I love him.

[Lisa Barlow]

I just love Todd.

[Ronnie]

Fun, light hearted Todd. Dolce and pasta.

[Todd]

When do we get to go to the Connie Francis retrospective?

[Ben Uni]

After dinner, Todd. So Bronwyn talks about her dad and how she was visiting him and he has good days and bad days. And we find out that he has Alzheimer's, which is, you know, obviously very hard. And he's been suffering from it for many years. And then her mom had a brain tumor and she had surgery and she's fine, but now she has to live with them indefinitely.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And she's feeling guilt because she was trying to have the parents at her house, but the dad was getting so bad and, you know, they had to put him in care, basically memory care. And Todd's like, well, you know, he needs professional care and that's what you set up for him. Now he's gone. So get over it. Bronwyn, like, he's just so gruff, you know, he's got this like, gruff way of going about it, which I'm not sure. But you know, he's basically like, we can't have two people searching for the remote control in this house. Oh, geez, Todd. So she talks about this, which is crazy. Alzheimer's really is just a horror of. It's just really. It's really ugly. And so this sucks that she's having to go through this. And she's talking about how her mom had a brain tumor and she's going to be fine and recover. The only thing that really isn't getting better on her is her eyebrows, unfortunately. But I don't think that they could do that in the hospital. So her mom stayed with her and we have to remember the. With her parents. I mean, they like disowned her and all that stuff when she was pregnant. So, like, kind of, you know, I'm not, I'm not rooting against them, especially the dad. I mean, he's got Alzheimer's and stuff. But I don't think anybody sees the mom come on the screen and is rooting for her. I'm actually rooting for Bronwyn to read her mother for filth on tv because that's kind of what people do on Housewives where they're like, oh, really, Mom? Well, how about some scenes on the Housewives? To show the audience what a monster you are. And then we can watch them come for you on Instagram and Facebook for the rest of your life.

[Ben Uni]

Enjoy your karma, Mother.

[Ronnie]

So I'm all for it.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. That. That mom is not going to get read for filth because you're already bleeding by the time you're ready to read her. She's already stabbed you. Yeah, okay, I'm getting ready. It's like those moments where, like, the, you know, like, the villain's about to kill you, like, about to kill the protagonist, and then all of a sudden, they stop it. And then, like, someone from behind a stab, stab the villain with. Through their stomach with a sword. It's like, that's. Yeah, that's. Bronwyn's mom was, like, ready to do the big read. It's like, nope, your mom already got you.

[Ronnie]

So your mom always beats you to the punch.

[Ben Uni]

Your mom. Listen, you. You don't get drag queen eyebrows without being quick with the. With this. With the tongue. So we see earlier, like, eyebrows who.

[Ronnie]

Belong to someone else. It's weird. Like, they're. They're shaped like they belong to Divine, but they're organ transplants. They start in the middle of the eyebrow, like, over here, like, in the center of the eye instead of. Okay, what am I trying to say? They start in the center of each eye instead of the center of the face, if that makes sense. Right. So instead of starting here, right in the middle of your nose, they start in the middle of each eye and go like this. It's weird. It's an odd choice.

[Ben Uni]

It's like when you make a. When you make an. When you make a MII on your Nintendo and you can, like, play around with the eyebrow location and you, like, put everything in hockey places.

[Ronnie]

I'm. Put my eyebrows on my temples.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, exactly. So we see a flashback, and Bronwyn is talking to Meredith about her dad. And. And they're really bonding about this. And. And she's telling Meredith about how, you know, just about how. How tough this all is and with Gwen and everything. And.

[Ronnie]

And this was the boyfriend living there. So she's running both a youth hostel and an elderly hostel. And she's basically just like, there are so many Social Security numbers up for grabs. It's crazy. It really is crazy. It's fun. It's like Halloween. My Jack o Lantern. My jack o Lanterns is full of Social Security numbers. So Meredith's like, well, that is insane. So she. They bond over the dad stuff. And then we come back and to the President. And she's like, yeah, it was nice.

[Lisa Barlow]

You know, Meredith was saying we've known.

[Ronnie]

Each other a long time, but we.

[Lisa Barlow]

We don't really know each other that well because she's friends with Lisa, but, you know, we're not close, but this bonded us. They bonded us, Todd.

[Ronnie]

Well, yeah, she sees you in a different light, because what's going on, you know, it's not the friend group, whatever dynamics they can put on there. You know, now she sees, and she's.

[Lisa Barlow]

Like, yeah, you know, I talked to Meredith about that because she's close with Lisa, and, you know, it was just interesting to see that she's gone through what I've been through, you know, and people think in the heat of the moment that it's really hard to come back from, you know, things that Lisa said to me.

[Ronnie]

I just.

[Lisa Barlow]

I can never come back from it. I can just never come back from it, Todd.

[Todd]

Well, I don't know why you bother with her at all. I mean, she doesn't even know the value of a five. Going to the five, a dime, and getting a malt, right?

[Ben Uni]

And Bronwyn's like, well, it just. It bothers me when people don't like me.

[Todd]

Well, I got bad news for you.

[Ben Uni]

What's that?

[Todd]

Have you met me? Todd, it's like a lot of people.

[Ronnie]

Don'T like you, Bronwyn. You're the only person in the neighborhood that goes out to get the newspaper, and they throw it at your head on purpose. No one likes you.

[Todd]

This whole town hates you.

[Ronnie]

No, they don't.

[Todd]

You know who I don't like? Spiro Agnew. That's who I don't like. And he never complained about that.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, what. What do you. What do you mean a lot of people don't like me? No one likes you, Bronwyn, okay? They started putting up speed bumps on our street just so people could slow down enough while they're pointing out the window screaming, we don't like you. Without hitting children on the street.

[Todd]

No one likes.

[Ronnie]

She's like, geez, Todd, it would be nice if I felt a little bit supported.

[Lisa Barlow]

What?

[Ronnie]

By who?

[Todd]

I don't like you either.

[Ronnie]

I can barely sit here.

[Todd]

Supporting you is like supporting Hubert Humphries. It's not gonna work out well for anyone.

[Ben Uni]

So Todd is like, all the.

[Todd]

That Lisa. Lisa Barlow drove, you know, is said about you and is written about you. It's unforgivable. Hilarious, but unforgivable. Completely unforgivable.

[Ronnie]

When he tells. When she goes who doesn't like me?

[Todd]

He goes, look at your Facebook.

[Ronnie]

She goes, okay, well, I don't use Facebook, but people do leave me mean comments on my Instagram, if that's what you're referring to. Flip the ease whipping out Facebook.

[Ben Uni]

I went down.

[Todd]

I went down to the social club. No one likes you over there. I was speaking to the Masons. They hate you. There, I said it.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, yeah. She goes, you know what? I can't help but overthink it, but I just want to fix it. I want to make it right. He's like, why? Why? Why you want to fix it so? Because it's easier. It's just easier for everybody else. And that's just me. I just. I don't want to feel uncomfortable. I just want everyone to like me. That's me, Todd.

[Todd]

That's me.

[Ronnie]

He's like, get rid of.

[Todd]

You can't fix things. You can't fix if people don't like you. Okay, so what if there's a very active geocities community that doesn't like you? That's okay. Those things happen. Okay? Because all the that Lisa Barlow drove and said about you, it's just unforgivable. Okay? It's just.

[Ben Uni]

But how do I get to a place of she can loudly dislike me and it doesn't make me crazy.

[Todd]

I doubt you do, because you're just.

[Ben Uni]

So sensitive all the time.

[Todd]

I said it.

[Ronnie]

And then we go to Angie and her dad Louie's house, and she's brought him an orchid and some fruit. Now, here's my problem with Angie. Every time she feeds her dad, she's feeding him, like, lettuce and fruit. You better bring me a cookie. I've made it to 90 years old and you're bringing me fucking pineapple. You best get to the everything. Bunt the cake. Or what's that place called? All but all Bundt cake. Bundt cake for life. Whatever the fuck it is. Call me.

[Ben Uni]

Call me Kale.

[Ronnie]

Call me Bundt cake. That would be my gay movie.

[Ben Uni]

Kill me.

[Ronnie]

Maybe. Bunt cake.

[Ben Uni]

Buns. Buns by your Bundt cake. Yeah, Bunt Mandelker.

[Ronnie]

So, yeah, don't bring me fruit when I'm old. Don't even bring it to me now. I'm old enough now that I can complain about people bringing me fruit. I'm fruity enough. Bring me a cake or a cookie.

[Ben Uni]

Stand a fruit gift. I can't stand it. I don't just feel like it's like candy. I think Edible Arrangements should be burned to the ground. Of all the. Like, we watch all of these businesses close down. Borders Books, various fast casual eateries that we've always enjoyed. We watch them all go down. And we're so sad. And yet somehow Edible Arrangements survives. Who is doing this? Who are the people who decided they would rather go spend their money on Edible Arrangements than Borders Books?

[Ronnie]

It's kind of a brilliant. It's kind of a brilliant thing if you think about it, because there are so many people that you have to buy a little gift for that you just have kind of a seething resentment towards. And that's what those are for. I think the Edible Arrangements. When people send you an Edible Arrangement, they do not like you, okay? They don't like you. They're like, I have to send them something. I'm going to send them fucking fruit in the shape of a bouquet. Okay?

[Ben Uni]

Yes, stupid. And also, like, why. Why is fruit the only Edible Arrangement there is? Can you. If you listen, if they made a bouquet out of cookies, I would be singing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, exactly. Like, why is it only fruit and iguana shaped out of croissants?

[Todd]

That's maybe a peacock out of a Rice Krispie treat.

[Ben Uni]

That's actually very moldable. So many ways.

[Ronnie]

Like, you know what? That's what we're gonna start. Yeah. I've been thinking of a business. Like, we need to start a business, and I think that's what we should do. Edible. Edible Arrangements that aren't shitty, you know.

[Ben Uni]

Like, that's the full name.

[Ronnie]

Call me by your Edible Arrangements. That's not shitty. Let's do it. I'm in. I'm putting down the seed money. $5. Whoever wants the first one, just come to us on Instagram. I'll send it to you.

[Ben Uni]

I'm so mad at them. So mad at them. I just, like, really. I never really articulated it until really just this moment that, like, we really have watched so many of our favorite institutions die over the years, Right? How many of them have closed? Red Lobster was on the brink. Luckily, someone saved Red Lobster. But, I mean, how many of our favorite stores are no longer with us? They're just gone?

[Ronnie]

They even took the Old Navy out of the Beverly connection. I mean, how am I supposed to live?

[Ben Uni]

That's crazy.

[Ronnie]

That's ridiculous.

[Ben Uni]

Malls are dying and boarded up. Everything is done. Everything is bank. Joanne's. Joanne fucking Fabrics is dead. And yet Edible Arrangements still is alive. We have our priorities wrong as a nation. This isn't political. This is something we can all get behind. Let's not put Our money into edible arrangements. Let's put it into Joanne's fabrics and Red Lobster in places where that money deserves to be.

[Ronnie]

Well, they needed better advertising. Joanne's just needed to be like, do you have someone that you hate but you have to buy a gift for, get them polyester at Joann's or something. Because the resentment is keeping that place alive. Okay, so Angie goes over to her dad's and she's like, my father is my first phone call in the morning and my last phone call at the end of the night. He's 89 and it is a blessing.

[Ben Uni]

And he's like, oh, God, she's always calling. Just when I was about to fall asleep, there goes my daughter calling, saying, did you fall asleep, dad? And I say, yes. And she goes, I am Greek. And I said, I know you're my daughter.

[Ronnie]

Every day he asks me, where has Borders Books gone? It was Greek. It was Greek.

[Ben Uni]

People don't realize the original name of it was Bordakoploopolis.

[Ronnie]

So she just needs her daddy and she needs her family. So she's calling him all the time. My dad would be like, you know, I don't have any money for you. Could you stop calling me? Enough. I need maybe once a week, but this is getting ridiculous. Do you need to tell me something? Why are you calling me again?

[Ben Uni]

So he found some old photos and of, you know, of. Of yesteryear. And we see pictures of him when he was like 12 and everything. And Angie's looking and she's like, look at how serious you guys were. Wow. Why was the camera slow? Was the camera slow or were you just serious because of your life? Like, have you guys seen your photos on the Bravo website? You guys are looking like you're trying to stare down a vehicle.

[Ronnie]

Have you seen you right now? Have you seen yourself in this scene? She's literally like, look at this photo. Yeah, I know. I understood the question though, because back then they would be like, okay, stand there, stand there. It's warming up, it's warming up. It's coming. And okay, hold on. We have to change the charge. Okay, hold on. Okay, light the string. Okay, the string is fizzling over. It's coming closer to us.

[Ben Uni]

Light the string. Dynamite. It's dynamite. That word kaboom. It is funny. Like old timey photos. Everyone is very serious in them. I want to know when people start to smile. It's probably some bullshit post war thing that happened like in Levittown, Long Island. It's like, we've got a house now. We got a smile.

[Ronnie]

But I do wonder when better when they didn't smile. I wish we, I wish we could normalize that again. I have a picture that we took at the mall or something when I was a little kid with my cousin Matt. And it was one of those where you dress like a cowboy and they take like an old timey picture of you and it's like sepia toned or whatever. And my meemaw had it hanging in her house forever. And it was just always my favorite picture of me because we weren't allowed to smile and we just look pissed off, like these pissed off dirty little cowboys. And I was like, maybe that was my time. Except that you couldn't flush a toilet. And I'm real, I'm like a huge toilet flusher. So I wouldn't want to live back then. But in general bring back non smiling pictures.

[Ben Uni]

Well, guess what? There is an answer to all of this. We really only started smiling in photos in the 1920s and 30s during the Great Depression.

[Ronnie]

Isn't that just.

[Ben Uni]

It was during the time. It was during the happiest time in America when we were not allowed to touch alcohol. Famously a glorious time. Actually it was a pretty fun time, the 20s, but yeah, the Great Depression. But apparently it was. According to, according to Google, this was because of technological advancements, because of faster cameras. Also because of Kodak. Kodak came around. It was like they had the invention of Kodak moments and they were like trying to tell people to be more joyful. So basically Kodak made us smile and why people didn't smile in old photos. Here's three reasons. Long exposure times. Angie gets a point on that one.

[Ronnie]

And because her butts were all chapped with poop because they didn't have like toilet paper yet. And flushing toilets. That's why were you gonna smile?

[Ben Uni]

It was also serious social norms because portraits, whether painted or early photographs, were often seen as serious formal affairs. Similar to grand painted portraits that typically did not feature smiles. And finally, and this is a strong one, dental hygiene. Poor dental health was common.

[Ronnie]

Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, I can see that's like.

[Ben Uni]

And we all know if you try to cover your. Yeah, if you try to cover your teeth while you're smiling, you just look like you're.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's like the John. It's like the Sealy from the Color Purple or the Jon Hamm thing where Jon ha. Like everyone's like, oh, he's just a serious actor. That's why he never smiles. But then he laughs and he's got, like, little tiny baby teeth, and I think that's why he doesn't smile. Yeah, that's. It's teeth shame. But I think ultimately Angie was correct because it is slow camera times. You see, that was one of the reasons. So nailed it.

[Ben Uni]

She's really on top of it. So she says it with the cat.

[Ronnie]

Slow. Were you just. Were you just serious because of your life?

[Ben Uni]

And he's like, yeah. He's like, because it was a tough life, you know, There was nothing to smile about. We lived through war and hunger and cold. Why would we suddenly smile now?

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Ben Uni]

It's ridiculous. So she's like, remind me of when the soldiers came into your village. How old were you? He's like, oh, well, I thought this was gonna be a nice little tea time, but sure, I'll talk about the trauma of my childhood.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. He's like, can I enjoy my fucking pineapple? I mean, Jesus. He's like, all right, let's talk about the Germans again. Here's Angie coming over to talk about the fucking Germans again.

[Ben Uni]

And I like. I like how he's like, oh, you mean the Germans? No, we're talking about the aliens from Starship Troopers. Dad, come on, we're on tv. Time is money. Tell your war story.

[Ronnie]

He was seven and they took everything. They burnt everybody's house. I mean, this is fucking terrible. And Andrea's like, did you witness that, though, at that age? What do you think? He was at the movies? Yes, he witnessed it. They burned down the whole village, Angie.

[Ben Uni]

And he's like. He's like, well, but there wasn't much stuff to burn because, you know, we didn't have any furniture or stuff like that. So, you know, it wasn't really that. It's like, it wasn't that bad. But what's crazy to me about this was I was shocked that he was. That he is that old in the sense that, like, I thought this was a guy in his, like, late 70s, but the fact that he is.

[Ronnie]

That guy looks hot as. I mean, he's 90 years old. That guy's hot. Like, what the hell?

[Lisa Barlow]

Yeah.

[Ben Uni]

I mean, like, the fact that he was 7 and this is like a World War II memory, I mean, that's like. I was. I was pretty surprised. We don't see too many parents on Bravo who are. Who. Who have that kind of experience, you know? Like. I mean, yes, Todd was around during, you know, World War I, but, like, aside from him, I mean, like, very few have been around since, like, that age. Most of them are I feel like most of the parents we see are from, like, the 60s, so this is really surprising.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So I was just surprised. Like, she's so hot. So Angie is, you know, it's a touching scene and stuff. And he talks about coming, coming to America and how. So when they were. When they got their tickets and they were coming over, someone said, where's your suitcase? And he said, I'm wearing. I'm wearing everything I own. And she's like, I'm wearing everything I own too. He's like, yeah, you need to stop doing that every time you leave the house. It's just like, what happened to jeans and a nice sweater?

[Ben Uni]

You know what I mean? I am grateful because some of my biggest concerns of the day are, oh, I need to go get micro needling so it heals up in time for my next event. Oh, I need to start rolling now so I can get off of this giant mattress in time to get to my next event. Oh, I need to put on giant sunglasses so my face will be protected in time for my next event. And meanwhile, my dad is sharing these stories that put things into perspective for me. And it is a wake up call from Greece.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But you know what? I don't want you to minimize all this stuff that you're talking about either, because that stuff is important too. And you can't think that people were going to war and having all of this horrible things happen, and there wasn't a moment in the day where they were like, I've really got to do something about my angry elevens. Because you know what? When that shit hits you, it doesn't matter what's going on in the eyes outside. You're still like, why are my pores so big? You know, I think everyone.

[Ben Uni]

I actually really firmly believe that everyone's entitled to be annoyed by stupid. You know, like, it doesn't take away from the big that people have to deal with. Like, it's not like I would never equivocate them. But I think that you're like, if you can't find your phone charger, like, you're allowed to be, like, legitimately annoyed and be. You're allowed to be like, I can't find my phone charger. I'm so annoyed. I think you're allowed to express your emotions, emotional state to your friends. What you can't do is you can't. If your friend says, oh, my God, the Nazis just burned down my village and I'm so upset. And then you can be like, I get it, because I Can't find my phone charger. Like, that you don't do. But you're still, like, you shouldn't feel guilty about the fact that you're annoyed about something in your life.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Annoying, petty things are always going to bother you no matter what's going on outside. Like, they announced that the government's gonna. They're. They're gonna send the government to California to keep law and. Or whatever the. They're doing. Now. Today is today's crazy news. And I read it, and I was like, I really don't like the new icons on this iPhone. And I was like, what am I more mad about? Like, I really need to get my priorities in shape. But I was like, but I really don't like the icons either. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. Does that make me a bad person? I don't know.

[Ben Uni]

You're allowed to be a bunch of.

[Ronnie]

Not all the above. And, yeah, I can be annoyed at what I want to. So they talk about this, and they talk about how proud they are to be Greek. And she gets so excited when she sees Crete, and he's like, oh, yeah, Crete. That's a good one. She's like, yeah, I felt like it was my home, too. I love Crete. I love Crete. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, of course you love it, because that's your roots. And she's like, dad, please don't mention roots. I was like, okay, sorry.

[Ben Uni]

I am a hair professional. So she's like, I just feel so connected to the culture, to the people, to the history, and I want to pass that same love, love for being Greek, down to Elektra. And I want her to have the same passion and feelings that I do, because it's influenced me in my life, and I want to influence her in her life, which is why every morning before she goes to school, I give her a plate to throw on the floor.

[Ronnie]

Cut to Electra. Being Greek, I'm sick of it. It's like, damn, Electra cheese. So they hug. That was a nice little scene. So then we go.

[Ben Uni]

It was actually such a. I actually got choked up during it. I'm not gonna lie. I. I thought it was so sweet and lovely, and I felt like that. I feel like Angie is actually very emotionally honest about her family and their struggles in a way that I find very affecting. So I liked it. So then we go to Bronwyn's house. Now we go from Angie and her dad to Bronwyn and her mom, Marge, AKA Muzzy, by the way. You don't have to even tell me her name is Marge. The eyebrows. Say it. If I see those eyebrows, I say, this is a lady named Marge who somehow, like in this weird everything everywhere all at once timeline, managed to not be a diner waitress somehow. She's, she's. She's doing this instead.

[Ronnie]

You know what's super weird? I call my mom Muzzy.

[Ben Uni]

Really?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I didn't realize it. Well, I call her Muzza, you know, like, hello, Muzza. And then it turns into Muzzy. Like, hey, Muzzy. That's weird. So Bronwyn offers to get her drinks and stuff. And Bronwyn's, you know, really trying. She's like, mom, Mom. She's like, her mom's just seething on the couch. Mom, would you like a beverage? And she's like, from the fridge, because I can get you one mom.

[Todd]

Drink.

[Ronnie]

And she's like running off, trying to make her mom happy. I was like, oh, no, this is not gonna go well. She's like doing the Kermit the Frog run in the background, like, going from.

[Ben Uni]

The kitchen to the hallway, like, mom satisfied? And what's funny is that the mom, you would think the mom would be like, hey, toots. Looking at her face, you think she'd say, hey, toots, what's what on? But she actually has like a, like a scary high pitched voice.

[Todd]

She's like, well, brown. She's like.

[Ben Uni]

She's like, so, what's going on, Mom? You must be exhausted.

[Todd]

Yes, because I got up too early today.

[Ben Uni]

I was like, I was not expecting that voice whatsoever.

[Ronnie]

And Bronwyn's like, do you feel like you got everything done at the house that you wanted to do while you were there at the house packing up? She's like, no, I still have stuff there. She's just giving her this look. Oh, my God. I was scared. And I can deal with a tough mother, you know.

[Ben Uni]

Well, the mom clearly disappeared. Of all the furniture. The mom was like, oh, she has all this money and this is how she spends it on this terrible velvet furniture. Okay, that's fine.

[Ronnie]

That's fine.

[Ben Uni]

I wish I'd. If I had that money, I would spend it on more eyebrow treatments. But that's okay. Everyone spends their money the way what they want to. She's never been the child with great judgment, has she?

[Ronnie]

I mean, if you're gonna spend your money, you should be spending it on the science of shrinking your eyebrows down to the size they were when you were five. But you know, she's just gonna do what she's gonna do because that's Bronwyn. So Bronwyn tells us that the moms have been going back and forth to Northern Cali to go through the process of getting rid of all their stuff, selling through stuff from her childhood home. And.

[Ben Uni]

So sad.

[Ronnie]

Muzzy's like, well, there were some things there, Bronwyn, that I've not opened in 25 years. You know, things like from Daddy's office. That was emotional. Oh, so you're going through Daddy's stuff. Did you find anything in there about me? Please don't say it on camera. Yeah. Please don't do this to me, Mother. She's giving her this look. I'm like, why are you shooting with your mother? And then I remembered, it's the great revenge of the Real Housewives. Commence.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, well, this part of the scene I thought was actually, like, very affecting because the mom is basically saying, like. Like, I'm throwing out stuff. But I feel really conflicted because, like, I'm throwing away his stuff. And he's not there to say, like, hey, don't throw that out, or this means something. So she's like. I was like, oh, this is so sad. I thought, like, I. I thought with those eyebrows, I was gonna just. I was. I was gonna. Like, this woman was gonna come out and be so mean to Bronwyn. But instead, she's telling a really sad story. And I was like, oh. Little did I realize that she was just. You know, she was just saving us already. She's saving it up.

[Ronnie]

She was just getting warmed up there. So Bronwyn tells us about Alzheimer's and how terrible it is to go through that. And it's hard on her, but it's got to be really hard on her mom because that's her best friend and her partner and stuff. So she's like, daddy doesn't remember adult me. And she's like, no, he thinks you're Gwen right now. So he's really worried that you're not gonna finish college, you're gonna get knocked out up, you need to go to school, etc. You know, it's nice to see him disappointed all over again. That really filled his belly with. With fun times. That was great, Bronwyn. Prom was just like, well, you know, it's like he's reliving it with me, right, Mom? Like, he was just so worried about me and all these things years ago, years ago. And, you know, Gwen's at that age, you know, and he does. I don't know. It's like he Superimposed me on top of. I don't know what's going on. She goes, yeah, he thinks it's yesterday. Because after she went to get something from the room, he said, why isn't she in school? Tell her she's not in school. She can get the hell out of my goddamn house. Oh, well, I just.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah, that's great. And I just feel like. I don't know. I feel like dad just wanted better out of me. You know what I mean? Well, you feel like you're not good enough. Like you're not worthy. Because if you feel that way, then we failed because we didn't make it clear enough that it's not just a feeling that you should know. You're not good enough and you're not worthy. That's it.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, well, you know, Mom, I did take a longer route to maybe get to where I was going. And you said that. You said that. You know, you said, it's been a really long time. And you. You know, Bronwyn, you really had to figure out what you wanted to do, and you had to really, you know, like you said, circle the drain a few times, you know. You know how you always talked about me circling the drain and just failing for really, really, really long time, Mother. Remember that? Yeah.

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. But you know what? Guess what? You couldn't have gotten there without Todd either, because he couldn't get there without a dime.

[Ronnie]

Oh, really?

[Ben Uni]

You have a lot of skills or talent or you. You don't have any. You don't have any of the things that I guess most people would have or need in order to get ahead in life. Unless you attach yourself to some old guy.

[Ronnie]

Really. Anyway, I would watch my fucking mouth right now because you're living off her and Todd's money. Like it's fine for you to take all this money and live in her house and do all this shit. You don't get to come in here and be an asshole to her and shame her on the tv and. Don't make me get defensive for Ron, but I did not like this Muzzy, okay?

[Ben Uni]

Yeah. And she's. Well, you know, you need to talk. She's like, yeah, well, Mom, I don't love you saying that. That I. I needed Todd to get me there. Well, I mean, you needed Todd to support you, right? I mean, those. That queer man's dresses don't. Don't pay for themselves. Right.

[Ronnie]

Okay, Goodbye. Have fun at the home, Muzzy, because you'd be out of there in two seconds. How dare you watch your mouth, lady. So Bronwyn's like, well, sadly, this is not my mom has made. And I think that, you know, I just really need approval from her. I just want approval. Everyone wants approval from their parents. Yeah, I would want an apology letter. Get her the fuck out of here. What a toxic fucking person. And I know she's going through a lot of stuff, but you can listen. Bronwyn got. Had all that stuff go down when she got pregnant when she was 19. She had no support from these people. And now you're still shaming her for it years later. It's like the woman's living in a mansion. She can't do anything right for you. And I think she should stop trying. Get rid of Muzzy. Down with Muzzy. That's what I say.

[Ben Uni]

So she's like, well, I. I hope you're going to be okay doing this because, you know, you're. You're going to be doing it with Todd soon enough. Like, oh my God, Mom. She was like, it's like, Muzzy, that's. I mean, that's dark. I mean, okay, like, I take a lot of Todd as old comments from other people, but the call doesn't need to be coming from inside my house.

[Todd]

Oh, is the Palm Pilot working again, Todd?

[Ben Uni]

It's an expression. No, no. Phone calls were coming from inside the house.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that was, that was pretty low. Like, oh my God, do you have a lot of money? Might I suggest a wood chipper for sake?

[Ben Uni]

Muzzy was like so sweet and emotional and then just comes right on in and like.

[Ronnie]

She was never sweet, you know, she's going through something. So she said. And she a has right to be sad, but she's also an asshole, you know? And I think that it's important to like, kind of know that line with people like you going through something doesn't give you the right to be an absolute fucking monster. Fuck you, lady. Horrible, horrible, horrible. This is horrible. As Heather Gay would say.

[Todd]

What's horrible?

[Ben Uni]

Horrifying.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part.

[Lisa Barlow]

One of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two.

[Ronnie]

See you over there, suckers.

[Ben Uni]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber Way.

[Ben Uni]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly. Clap.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben Uni]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Uni]

Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie]

Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera, sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sillsby she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben Uni]

Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie]

I love a young Olivia Williamson Tastier than Flanderson It's Rachel Manderson she sure.

[Ben Uni]

Is swell It's Raquel yes, we canna It's Savannah Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon Eldridge Darn.

[Ronnie]

Skippy, it's Tippy and our Super Premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody.

[Ben Uni]

Get us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're.

[Ronnie]

Just taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben Uni]

Let'S get real with Caitlin o' Neal.

[Ronnie]

Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily.

[Ben Uni]

Sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland let's go into the.

[Ronnie]

Woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen.

[Ben Uni]

It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi Always killing it.

[Ronnie]

It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sister She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Neat.

[Ben Uni]

It's Ronit Feldman Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah.

[Ronnie]

Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's.

[Ben Uni]

Sarah tell of son Shannon out of a cannon Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with.

[Ronnie]

Tamla playing She ain't no shrinking violet Cootard we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

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[Ronnie]

Experience.