#3027 Below Deck Med S10E02 Part 1: I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jellyfish

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Summary

Episode #3027: Below Deck Med S10E02 Part 1 – "I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jellyfish"

Original Airdate: October 7, 2025 | Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie bring their signature mix of snark, Bravo fandom, and genuine affection as they recap Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 2. The pair revels in the show's celebration of professional incompetence, awkward workplace hierarchies, over-the-top guests (including a bitcoin bro), and jellyfish hijinks. Both hosts celebrate the return to classic Below Deck chaos, with an episode packed full of guest absurdities, crew mishaps, kitchen notes, and Bravo’s uniquely addictive trainwreck energy.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. General Vibes: The Joy of Incompetence

• [04:49] Ronnie: Expresses concern over the apparent “danger” of hiring total novices for entertainment, but relishes seeing “homely, normal people” bumble their way through yachting.

• [05:31] Ben: Loves the focus on “people being bad at their jobs,” seeing it as a refreshing shift from attempts at “The Real World”-style drama.

  “It was such a nice, refreshing return... just had ineptitude, just professional ineptitude, which is what I’m looking for.” — Ben [05:31]

2. Slapstick and Sandy’s Ventriloquism

• The episode opens with a repeat viewing of Captain Sandy and Nathan struggling to lower a jet ski and causing chaos.

• [07:24] Ronnie: Jokingly points out Captain Sandy’s ventriloquism-esque speech patterns and theorizes she’s trying to grit her teeth and stay positive under internet scrutiny.

  “She’s just standing there holding a string... like a kid holding a balloon while all mayhem is going off around her.” — Ronnie [06:44]

  “More of her lines are just coming out like this now because she’s just ready to throw people overboard. But she doesn’t want to be called a bitch online, so good luck.” — Ronnie [08:18]

3. Chef Josh: Kitchen Post-Its and Clownery

• Focus on Chef Josh’s bizarre motivational Post-Its in the galley: “breathe,” “non attachment,” “push yourself,” and “you’re just cooking, so just cook.”

• [09:46] Ronnie: Roasts the concept:

  “People who write themselves crazy little notes on post-its are insane. Every insane person in their house has these little notes.”

• Ronnie shares a personal anecdote about his own kitchen note: simply “don’t.” [10:50]

• Debate about kitchen measurements ([13:31] – [14:28]), with Ben nerding out over kitchen scales and Ronnie sharing his aversion due to prior drug use:

  “I only had one when I used to do coke. When I got rid of it.” — Ronnie [14:55]

• Ongoing clown costume commentary; both hosts agree Josh’s mid-cooking clown transformations are “cringe” yet hilarious.

  “My wiener is going so far in my body that it’s just a tube... it’s like an innie belly button is what my penis feels like every time he comes out as a clown.” — Ronnie [18:15]

4. Bitcoin Guests and Dinner Absurdity

• The main guests include “Da Vinci,” a bitcoin aficionado—complete with bitcoin socks and a purse containing a tampon.
• Social awkwardness and guest banter are lampooned, with the hosts mocking the guests’ quirks and food preferences.
• Dinner Course highlight: Spanish prawns with passion fruit caviar, then “fra giola” risotto, eliciting jokes about jet-ski-loving, adrenaline-seeking guests.

  “Yeah, perfect for someone who loves jet skiing so hard he’s gonna die.” — Ben [32:52]

5. Interior and Deck Team Shenanigans

• [29:20] Ronnie: Proclaims Tessa “favorite character” thus far, celebrating her passive judginess.

• V’s Work Ethic: In a moment of Bravo-style irony, V extolls her parents’ hard work as she breaks a guest bed panel [30:40].

• Deckhand Max is on a self-imposed power trip, forgetting his own past incompetence—and the hosts enjoy calling him out.

  “He’s acting like he is the best deckhand... but he was awful and now has no patience for this guy.” — Ben [24:36]

6. Morning After: List Wars and Laundry Fails

• Christian slacks off on overnight duties, forcing Max and Nathan to clean up after him and grumble.
• V, assigned morning laundry, cannot figure out the washing machine.
• Asia shares her gentler leadership style, contrasting with a prior “misogynistic prick” captain who was obsessed with being called “tiny.”

  “I really try to be more of a gentle leader, because I don’t want to get to the point where V tells me I’ve got a tiny [bleep] and then storms off.” — Asia, relayed by Ben [40:24]

7. Kitchen Sober Stories and “Clown Chef” Cliché

• Chef Josh opens up about his recovery from addiction, with classic Bravo editing showing a confusing photo montage of his youth.

  “It was like they kept on showing pictures of like, like three pasty Corey Feldman-esque British boys. And I was like, which one? I think that one’s him, but it could be that one.” — Ben [52:53]

8. The Jellyfish Saga

• Crew and guests are fascinated by a swarm of “thick, mushroomy” jellyfish.

• Ronnie and Ben launch into a philosophical tangent about jellyfish having “no brains and no fear,” mischievously debating jelly-emotions.

  “I don’t believe jellyfish don’t have thoughts. They do.” — Ronnie [57:47]

• Max ignores warnings and touches a jellyfish, then rubs his eye and gets stung, sparking well-deserved mockery and Captain Sandy’s eye-rolling exasperation.

  “Max is like, oh, la la... I want to touch it on top!” — Ben [58:21]

  “Now you got jellyfish splooge in your eye. And you’re, like, you can’t see. Like, I would have been afraid I would have lost my eye because it’s like, a jellyfish sting is not nothing. Like, this guy’s an idiot.” — Ben [59:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben [05:31]: “Just had ineptitude, just professional ineptitude—which is what I’m looking for.”
• Ronnie [08:18]: “That’s us. 10,000 of us screaming at them... they come onto these seasons and they try and start positive...”
• Ronnie [18:15]: “My wiener is going so far in my body... it’s like an innie belly button is what my penis feels like every time he comes out as a clown.”
• Ben [24:36]: “Max is on such a power trip. He’s acting like he is the best deckhand and he’s definitely improved, but...”
• Ronnie [31:47]: “I love the irony of her dad being owning a US engineering firm, and yet she can’t figure out how to put the panel back on a bed.”
• Ben [41:30]: “For the next two minutes, we just look at Asia while her mouth just hangs open during her silent laugh.”
• Ben [59:11]: “Now you got jellyfish splooge in your eye... I would have been afraid I would have lost my eye because a jellyfish sting is not nothing…”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:02] — Podcast proper begins, extended pizza dough/Crappy Hour banter.
• [04:49] — Ronnie/Ben gush about the joy of incompetence this season.
• [06:06] — Recap opens with Sandy/Nathan’s jet ski struggles.
• [09:46] — Focus on Chef Josh’s kitchen Post-Its.
• [13:36] — Kitchen measurement confusion/kitchen scale advice.
• [18:15] — Extended tangent on Josh’s clown bits.
• [19:18] — Bitcoin guest’s purse examined at dinner.
• [24:36] — Max’s alpha act called out.
• [29:20] — Tessa praised as “favorite character” for judgy passivity.
• [30:04] — V breaks the guest bed, monologues about her work ethic.
• [40:24] — Asia on “gentle leadership” and her infamous “tiny” captain.
• [51:14] — Josh shares his sobriety/kitchen “family” backstory.
• [54:05] — Jellyfish appear; “can you scare a jellyfish?” debate.
• [58:21] — Max manhandles a jellyfish, gets stung in the eye.

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Episode Tone & Highlights

As ever, Ben and Ronnie balance affectionate Bravo super-fan energy with biting, hilarious mockery. This (Part 1) recap is an ode to Below Deck’s enduring appeal—its professional disasters, oddball cast and guests, and the glorious spectacle of people failing at yachting (and management). With their rapid-fire jokes, observational tangents, and bits of personal oversharing, the hosts create a must-listen for Bravo fans and haters alike.

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End of Part 1. For the continuation, listeners are directed to Part 2.

Transcript

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

What happens when there's so much of crap? Hello and welcome to Watch what crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me this morning is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

[Ronnie]

Well hello, how are you? Banoons.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just great. It's below deck med day. Thanks to everyone who joined us on Crappy Hour last night. We had a real fun time talking about headlines etc. I'm still having visions of pizza dough flying in my, flying in my eyes because you know, after we, after we end the audio portion we bring some of you guys up and one person was making fresh pizza dough. Well actually store bought, but they were making it on, on the screen and I have been tantalized ever since. So thank you everyone for coming. I've been, I really have been. I was like telling people last night when I was having, I met up with some friends last night, I was like someone was making cheap pizza dough and it's all I can think about. We had so much fun though. And be sure to join us on Patreon patreon.com watch what crappens where we have a weekly bonus episode. We have Crappings on Demand where you can watch all of our podcasts episodes. You can watch it, not just listen. And those are available for a week on there before they go to YouTube. And it's just like a fun thing that we have quips now and we're making little quips and there's a good community on there. So to get the full Crappens experience, go check that out. But today we're gonna get the full yacht experience because we're going to the med with Captain Sandy and a group of green green deckhands trying to figure things out. Ronnie, what did you think about the episode?

[Ronnie]

You know, this show gets dangerous. I mean I get hiring nincompoops incompetence for entertainment value. But I mean this shit has to run right. I get worried. I know, like none of us, I mean at least some someone on the deck needs to know what's going on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like yes, for real, for real.

[Ronnie]

But I like it because we'll get a lot more of the homely, normal people. You know, I shouldn't say homely. It's not like they're ugly, but like, homie, you know?

[Ben Mandelker]

Homie, homie.

[Ronnie]

Just kind of normal people. Like bowling alley people, you know, we. Maybe we'll see them come out a little bit more. Like, I want to know who. Who the homely people are fucking. That's what I want to know. There's a show. There's a show. Homely. Homely Maids.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just. I just loved that, like, the bulk of the episode really focused on people being bad at their jobs, not doing their jobs, being even worse at their jobs. Like, that's really all I want. That's all I want. And it was such. Yeah, it's just a nice, refreshing return. I said it last week. I'm just going to re. Emphasize this week after Below Deck. The last season for me was so rough with, like, really attempting to be like, the real world. I'm just happy that, like, we just had ineptitude, just professional ineptitude, which is what I'm looking for.

[Ronnie]

Sucking at jobs.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's the American dream. Amongst many non Americans on a boat. So where we left off was a tremendous bit of slapstick, which is Captain Sandy and Nathan trying to lower a jet Ski or maybe a whip, or is the whip the tender, whatever it is, a jet Ski. They're trying to lower the jet Ski onto the boat, and they can't. And they knock over this one lamp not once, but twice. And like we said last week, it was so gratifying, and I loved seeing it happening all over again at the top of this episode.

[Ronnie]

Someone brought up on Crappy Hour last night how inept Captain Sandy was trying to help them with this waverunner. And it really is true. I mean, she's just standing there holding a string, like, all right, you know what? Go ahead and bring it back. Bring it back. Okay, you know what? Do it. She. She wasn't doing anything. It's like a kid just standing there holding a balloon while all mayhem is going off around her. She's like, all right, you know what, Nathan? You're not doing it right. Just kind of bring it back a little bit. Did. Have we talked about how Captain Sandy is kind of doing. What do you call it when you stick your hand up the doll and then you speak for the doll? What do you call that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Ventriloquism.

[Ronnie]

Have we ever talked about how she's kind of doing ventriloquism when she talks?

[Ben Mandelker]

It's kind of A little Jody coded, huh?

[Ronnie]

She's kind of jaw wired shut. I don't really know what it is. She's always been like that. I've always noticed it. But this one, this episode, I was really noticing it. And I don't know if it's more because she's gritting her teeth and trying to be positive at the start of the season, you know, because I think by the end of. Especially watching a season for these cast members, they're so tormented by people online. Like, you are incompetent. How dare you? It's like years later and people are still like, you screwed over Hannah, you bitch. You know? And so I think they come on to the new seasons and they really. That's us. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who would say those things? He would still hold a grudge against, I don't know. Malia.

[Ronnie]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know how people are. You know how people on the Internet are.

[Ronnie]

Those crazy people that can't control their emotions. You know how they are. Parasocial relationships, etc. Wouldn't know anything about it, but, yeah, like 10,000 of us screaming at them. And so they come onto these seasons and they try and start positive. And you can see that Captain Sandy is really, really just doing her best to be positive, and she's just starting to grit her teeth. And I think more of her lines are just coming out like this now because she's just ready to throw people overboard. But she doesn't want to be called a bitch online, so good luck.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's probably true. That's probably true. Anyway, the wave runner, they break the light and everyone's watching. By the way, I thought that was, like, editing that they did last episode where, like, Asia's like, oh. But it turns out they all were watching, and she's like, well, that's your evening's entertainment.

[Ronnie]

They get it down. It's just literally just standing on the side like, look at them go. I mean, isn't this hilarious? What's that? You should watch him try to get the ropes to the deck. That's coming up next. Bunch of morons. This is so fun, just sitting there cracking up.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Nathan's like, oh, first day, first time on the crane. I'm up here smashing knob lights. Soon as we drop anchorman, everything's gone tits up. Me and those tits, too. I certainly will try to later this season.

[Ronnie]

Well, I hope you don't mind. I'm just going to stand here and hold this string lightly and watch you fail miserably. So goodbye, light. Goodbye, light. So now it's time for the first course. And you know, we see a piece of paper that Josh has, the chef has pasted up or taped up in the kitchen and he listen, People who write themselves crazy little notes on post its are insane. Every insane person in their house has these little notes. You know, people who are like, and I've done it before and I am insane people who have those little post its and then they're like, you're good enough. Or like, you don't need to eat, you need to move. You know, like little positive things you put around your house. Or I used to have one on the fridge that said don't. That's all it said. And then I don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

Was that like your refrigerator was like having like, was like, was like cry, crying. And like you were coming in for a hug. I was like, don't.

[Ronnie]

Because, you know, we have these different parts of our brains. And so when I'm hungry, I wanted the like rational part of my brain to tell the irrational part of my brain later on in the day, don't. You know, So I would come to the refrigerator and I'd see this post this note and post it note, and it would say, don't. And I just say, fuck off. One time I actually wrote a post note.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was about to say, ronnie, Ronnie, did you think that your note would actually tell your yourself? Like you would actually listen to your note. As soon as you. Before you even got that part, I'm like, I bet you walked up to that, to that note and said, oh, fuck you. You don't get to tell me what to do.

[Ronnie]

Me, I wrote a dick. I drew a dick on it. Eventually I just drew a big dick on it, you know, but then I looked at it again and it was like, don't dick. And I was like, well, I don't know that I really need to be giving myself that. I don't know that I'm getting enough of that as it is, you know? But yeah, crazy people write themselves notes and put them around and Josh does it and his say breathe. And then he has two that say the same thing. Non attachment, non exclamation point.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nothing. Nothing really like compliments the directive to just breathe than like literally yelling at yourself through a note by yelling, non attachment, exclamation point. Non attachment, non attachment, breathe.

[Ronnie]

Detach yourself from this experience. That's how traumatic it is being a chef. You're just like, just disassociate, disassociate. Put yourself in a box. You're just in a Box. Nothing is happening. You know, it's like, like abuse language you have to use with yourself because you know, that is what it is. You're putting yourself into abuse, an abusive situation, non attachment. It's not happening.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just a little boy.

[Ronnie]

I'm just a little boy.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just a little boy.

[Ronnie]

Poor guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, he also has another note that says, you are just cooking, so just cook. Which is, you know, hopefully that, that helps. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, you're just cooking, so just. So just cook. Yeah, but like, I would like to say you're just cooking, so just cook well and on time because I feel like you can't. It's not just about cooking. It's about, like making something that's edible. And, you know, because we've seen a bunch of people just cook and it hasn't always worked out well.

[Ronnie]

And also I just like the positive messages. I don't think help. I mean, maybe different people, people work differently, you know, But I think messages need to be like, you're a fuck up and nobody likes you. Don't fuck this up. You know, something like that. Or like, don't suck as much as you did yesterday, loser.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I feel like. Or I just feel like I would leave, you know what my note would be? Remember, three teaspoons in a tablespoon?

[Ronnie]

Or is that true? Three teaspoons in a tablespoon?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I thought it was two.

[Ronnie]

God, I just learned something.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, you've been selling yourself short. Three teaspoons in a tablespoon, Ben. And then I'd have the next one, say, four tablespoons in a quarter cup, Ben. And then actually those are things I, I remember. But what I always forget is, it's like, here's. And I hate this, by the way. I hate this. Okay, two cups in a pint. Two pints and a quart. Four quarts in a gallon. Wait, why? Oh, four quarts. Yeah, four quarts in a gallon. Right, or two quarts and a half gallon.

[Ronnie]

No, I know, but here's what I.

[Ben Mandelker]

Don'T like, why we're going up by twos.

[Ronnie]

Why are there a gallon?

[Ben Mandelker]

But like, why are we all of a sudden going to four? I know it's. I know it says court, so it's like a clue, but don't do that to me. Like, it's either. We all like, why are we starting at 3 and then going to 2 and then 2 again and then to 4? This is totally unhelpful.

[Ronnie]

You're right, it is unhelpful. This should be a message that America decided that we needed to change the metric system for everything. Trying to read recipes and then it's like, okay, 32 grams. I'm like, what the fuck, man? I don't even know how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon. Now you're gonna throw grams at me?

[Ben Mandelker]

Come on. Do you have a scale? Do you have a kitchen scale?

[Ronnie]

No, I hate scales of all kinds.

[Ben Mandelker]

You should get a kitchen scale. It's actually a game changer.

[Ronnie]

I only had one when I used to do coke. When I got rid of it.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, the reason why it's a game.

[Ronnie]

Changer, it's an attachment to my addiction. I had to write little post. Its like non attachment, non attachment.

[Ben Mandelker]

Get rid of your kids. Don't breathe through your mouth, not your nose. You know, a food scale is a game changer. And the reason why is because all those recipes that call for grams, it's like no longer an issue. And the best thing is you don't need to have measuring spoons or whatever. You just put your thing on it and then you just take a regular spoon and you like measure stuff out. You like add stuff until it reaches the number. It's like. So you actually wind up doing fewer dishes with a kitchen scale. Fun fact.

[Ronnie]

No, but don't, like, you don't have to scale off with the, with, oh, no, you don't. That you're putting on it. You don't have to wash it between things that you're putting on there.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're not putting it directly on the scale. In my case, I usually put like a bowl or like whatever you're using, like actually a cool technique. A cool technique to do is if you're like, if you're, if you're making something and everything has to go into bowl, you put your bowl next to the scale and you take the thing that you're adding and you put that on the scale and you tear it like T A R E so it goes to zero. And then you remove stuff from the container. From the container, Alfredo. And you add it to your bowl. And as you add it to the bowl, the value on the scale goes negative. So if you need to add like 32 grams into your bowl, you wait till it hits negative 32 because that means you've taken 32 grams out of your supply, you put it in the bowl, and this way you don't have to worry about making your scale dirty. And it's. And also if you like have taken out too much, you can, like, before you put it in the bowl, you can, like, put it back into the supply. And by doing this, you don't need tablespoons, you don't need teaspoons, you don't need measuring cups, don't need money, don't need fame, don't need no credit card to play this game. It's called a kitchen scale, and we're going to the future with it, actually. Well, that's a game, right? You know what? Ah, well, I think we all know what my next note is, Ben. Ride this train, not play this game.

[Ronnie]

Ben. Huey Lewis in the news. Compassion.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is the news, Huey. You know, we always wondered what Huey Lewis's news is. The news is a kitchen scale. He's like, hey, everyone, I find it. I've got the news for you. It's use the kitchen scale.

[Ronnie]

This is the second time Huey Lewis has come into our recaps, by the way, this week.

[Ben Mandelker]

Huey Lewis is really living. We have to work him in every single day, please.

[Ronnie]

He's really getting the park overall treatment today. So these other notes say compassion. And then the final note says, push yourself. Push yourself.

[Ben Mandelker]

Push yourself. Do you think he's saying S, E.

[Ronnie]

L, F. Push yourself?

[Ben Mandelker]

Is this. Is he. You think he's saying push? Yes, he's saying push yourself. Is he doing it in the style of. What's that one song that's, like, in, like, every car commercial? It's, like, sort of motowny. It's like, I'll go back to Huey Lewis in the news. I. I'm sorry.

[Ronnie]

Push yourself, I think.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or do you think he's. Or is he. Is he doing it, like, in a Motown sound, or is he doing it in the style of, like, oh, go.

[Ronnie]

Ahead and push yourself. I think I'm taking it as, like, treat yourself. You know, and people like, you need to treat yourself. But I don't know. He's. He's pushing himself. Here's what I think you should write down. Stop putting on clown clothes and thinking it's cute. Please stop it. It's cringe. It's making me cringe so hard. And they keep showing it, and it's not. It just. I feel like my wiener is going so far in my body that it's like just a tube. It's like an inner. It's like an. Any belly, but is what my penis feels like every time he comes out as a clown.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's awful. It's so awful. But I'm not gonna lie. I laughed out loud. Because the thing is, they. They Spring it on us when we're. When we least expect it. Like something is happening. Like he's making avocado toast and then all of a sudden he just is in it. He goes, magic or whatever. And I was like, what?

[Ronnie]

I can't take it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I can't with like. And he has flat ironed hair. It's like a flat ironed haired clown. It doesn't work for me. It's like watching Johnny Resnick in clown costume.

[Ronnie]

So da Vinci, who's the main bitcoin guy, I mean, he wears bitcoin socks. He's got a bitcoin fanny pack probably. He's got a bitcoin purse at the table. And so they want to see what's in his purse. And he has like normal stuff, I guess, like bitcoin slogans and stuff. And he has a tampon and he also has gold. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Well, the girl, the girl who's. They're like, they're looking through his little purse and the guy's like, oh, there's something in here. There's something in here. And then this girl next to him goes, is it a tampon? As like a joke. And then it's like a tampon. And then she's so proud of herself. She's like, I literally can't even believe how raw I was. It was a Tampa. Oh my God. I actually got it right. It's like quiet, Jessica. You could see in it. We know you cheated.

[Ronnie]

So now it's time to run the plates. But are they too cold? He doesn't know, Josh. He feels so much pressure. Every element has to be perfect. Non attachment.

[Ben Mandelker]

And he's like, he's trying to tell everyone to hurry up because the plates are getting cold. He's like, I'm so. He's like, I'm starting to feel like Black Sabbath. It's like he's like, I'm getting paranoid. Like, this is a. Bravo audience. We. It's. I don't know if like all of us get. Get the reference. Is that the song by Ozzy Osbourne that goes. Darn it. Darn it. Turn it. Okay. I really. Again, I don't know. I don't know.

[Ronnie]

I'm trying to think. My brain. My brain just did this. I don't know any Ozzy Osbourne songs.

[Ben Mandelker]

He has like Crazy Train. That one. You know that one?

[Ronnie]

No.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I can't help you any further.

[Ronnie]

I'm sorry, I'm not very helpful. I'm not. Yes. Handing you. Because I literally can't. I don't know anything. This is the only lyric I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Damn it. That's the song. I don't know if that's actually paranoid, so.

[Ronnie]

Okay, I know paranoid garbage.

[Ben Mandelker]

That would have been a better reference. That would have been a better reference. If he said, I'm feeling paranoid like Shirley Manson. I would have been like, thank you. That one I can give you. I think I'm paranoid.

[Ronnie]

No, I. No, I'm sorry. My Funny Valentine. Okay. Just. Just a refresher for a cleanser for everything. Yeah, a palate cleanser. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. With the holiday season approaching, having high quality food ready for entertaining becomes more important than ever. Omaha Steaks delivers the world's finest steak experience, bringing five generations of butcher expertise right to your door. Omaha Steaks offers unrivaled quality and variety with their exclusive lineup of USDA certified tender steaks and fan favorite filet mignons. Every bite is backed by their 100% money back guarantee. The early Black Friday sale is the perfect time to shop for the best deals. Plus orders placed by 6:00pm Eastern Time. Ship same day. Save big with Omaha steaks. Visit Omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide and an extra 20% off select favorites during during their early Black Friday sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code eatstake at checkout. Terms apply C site for details. That's 50% off at Omaha steaks.com promo code eatsteak@ checkout. Here's a quick podcast for all you true crime fans. The case of the missing Reese's. It was me at the store with my mouth motive. Um, they're Reese's. What was I gonna do, stop myself? Tune in next time to see if I do it again. Spoiler.

[Ben Mandelker]

I will.

[Ronnie]

Wow, that had everything. Reese's Suspense.

[Ben Mandelker]

Reese's.

[Ronnie]

So Vee did not hold her plate properly and it got messed up. So terrible jaw. So then we go to the first course. They get Spanish prawns, which thankfully, Spanish prawns, because any other kind. Passion fruit caviar and orange vinaigrette.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, how. How embarrassing if they got non Spanish prawns while they're docked in Spain. I mean, hello.

[Ronnie]

Peruvian prawns. Get the hell out of here. Christian and Max are talking about how shitty their day was, and they're talking about the sea bobs. Are they inside? And Christian's like, well, when you put him in, you need to charge him. You know, he's like, I charged Him. I charged him already. He's like, okay, well, how many do we have? Two. Yeah, bullshit. How the don't you know that, bro? How you don't know we have. I have two. How you don't know we have two.

[Ben Mandelker]

Max is on such a power trip. He's acting like he is the best deckhand and he's definitely improved, but he's acting like he was not a total waste of space and a disaster two seasons ago. I mean, like, he was awful and he was so terrible. And now he has, like, no patience for this guy, who admittedly is terrible as well. But, like, he's. He has no patience for this guy when he, in fact, was the bane of the entire ship's existence two years ago, let alone the entire audiences.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't even know that there's proof that he's improved. He's just acting.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm not even sure.

[Ronnie]

He's just leading with, you know, like, I'm great. And so it's like that people buy that sometimes, you know, like, the loudest person always wins kind of thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, you know, like, if you're like a shitty second grader, you're still gonna be shitty, but now you're in third grade. But he's acting now that he's made it to third grade, that he's like. He's like, on a power trip to the second grader. It's like, you may be on a. You may be on a power trip because, like, technically your rank in grades is slightly higher, but you're still shitty. And also that of the second grader.

[Ronnie]

It'S not so regular that people get a second season. Right? Like, you have to be kind of special to get a second season. So I think May thinks he's special.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, maybe so.

[Ronnie]

He's so everyone. He's like power tripping to a first year.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Asia is. Is observing the guests as they sit around at this dinner with, like, weird, like, purple Mylar on the walls and stuff. And she's like, it's such an odd combination of people. Like, Carl's just chill out. Da Vinci's, like, super eccentric. It's pretty quirky. And then there's this hot couple. Where do they come from? Maybe that's the message of bitcoin. Bitcoin brings people together.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, I guess bitcoin people love bitcoin people. They, like, love each other. They're, like, really into each other. Bitcoin people are like, yeah, it's the future. The banks will never get Me. So then Asia is asking about food. They all love the food. Okay, let's go to the bridge with Nathan and Sandy. She's like, yeah, you know what? I just wanted to say that, you know, you got to get it down quicker, you know, because it was just. It was just really going slow, you know, and when it's swinging, that's when you go fast. Get it. Get it low, get it low. If it's swinging, just crash it down into the deck. Okay. I just basically want you after. I want you to be. I want that. That ski vibe, that waverunner. I wanted to look like Hannah after one of her special cigarettes. Just face down immediately.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, a wise man once said that when the wind is swinging the ropes, you got to get low. From the windows to the wall to the sweat runs down your jet ski. Get low, get low, get low, get low, get low. Okay, good job. Let's have a hug.

[Ronnie]

When the going gets tough, the tough get going and going and going. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, I. As a fan of Christina Milian, I have to say, dip it low, Nathan. Next time, dip it low.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, you know, you've only been on the boat 12 hours, so I'm not going to worry about it because I'm nice. I'm a nice captain. The Internet loves me. So let's just keep talking. Okay? Nathan had tested 42 hours before the charter began. And as a new boson. He doesn't know the boat. He doesn't know with a crew, and that's a setback. But I'm going to support Ethan, and he'll become excellent at his craft, his craft of deck leading his craft at.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lowering a jet ski a little too slowly when it's windy.

[Ronnie]

Fantastic lowering craft.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tessa will excel at her craft of being sort of nowhere. You know what? Have I actually met Tessa yet? I have. Oh, okay.

[Ronnie]

Tessa is my favorite character so far.

[Ben Mandelker]

Same.

[Ronnie]

I think this one, she really blossomed. I love her, and I love that she's always. She looks like a character in, like, a Hans Christian Andersen novel. I feel like she's. She should be in, like, an old timey dress with a rolling pin in her hand, just telling the kids to slow down because she's based in a turkey. You know, as the kids run through.

[Ben Mandelker]

The house, I feel like she should be the. Like the. The lady who presses the buttons to make It's a Small World go and then waves at people when they come back at the end of the ride. Yeah, I could see that, like, when they described her later in the episode as like, she does nothing but is just judgy. She just stands around as judgy. I was like, perfect. Love her.

[Ronnie]

Me too. Because she's not, she's not silent in her confessional. She's like, they're all idiots. So she assures Nathan that they're going to figure this out together. And so he's like, oh, right, right. So he leaves. He looks terrified, as he should be. So then we see Kizzy is telling V that the rooms are messy. So, like, she can't just leave caddies in the hallway. So let's get it together, okay? Let's keep them organized. Let's keep organized. And Vy's like, yeah, I haven't had a lot of high end service experience, but my work ethic speaks volumes. Pick the Windex up off the floor. That is your work ethic. You're leaving shit on the ground. Go get it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And as she's talking about her work ethic, we see that she somehow broke the bed. There's like a panel, like a Wayne Scotted panel that she broke and now she's trying to reassemble it. We never really see how they do this. And like, do they have to call one of the, like, off camera engineers? But I was actually, I was kind of invested in this. I was like, you broke a panel on the bed? Like, it's clearly not going back in easily. You only have so much time before the guests are done with dinner and want to come downstairs. What do you do? How much time do you have? Like, how does this get fixed? I, I was like, I was kind of, I was into it.

[Ronnie]

You were stressing.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was stressing.

[Ronnie]

She's, they're showing like income. They're like cutting together incompetence.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's one of those things where like.

[Ronnie]

Oh, she left her Caddy on the ground. Oh, she broke a bed or whatever. They're, they're putting this all together. But the voiceover is like, yeah, My work ethic definitely comes from my parents being models because they're from Cuba and we grew up really. They weren't really models. They were just model work ethic people, by the way. So, yeah, they were attractive. Like, their work ethic was always in bikinis, I'll tell you that. Like, they had hot work ethic. They had like model quality work ethic. But they both grew up really poor. And my dad, when he grew up, like when I was growing up, he couldn't pay the electricity bill sometimes and they couldn't pay the water Bill. But he worked his ass off and now he's the CEO of his own engineering firm. Unfortunately, he doesn't pay the electricity there either. So they do a lot of engineering in the dark, which has led to buildings falling. But you know what? They try. They have really good work ethics.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love the irony of her dad being owning US engineering firm, and yet she can't figure out how to put the panel back on a bed. If only we had an engineer.

[Ronnie]

That's why I love the editing. It's so funny. She's like giving this full on monologue while, you know, she's like leading hell breaking loose down there.

[Ben Mandelker]

So the guests are still receiving food and all they want to do is jet ski. And one guy, the Carl says, jet skis make me feel alive.

[Ronnie]

Jet skis make me feel alive.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I feel alive with jet skis. Almost as alive as I feel with bitcoin.

[Ronnie]

I don't even need to drink anymore. I've got jet skis. I just drank a jet ski.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then, yeah, he talks about how like being on a jet ski makes him feel alive. Especially when he pushes it so hard. He feels like if he falls off, he's gonna die in the water. And then Josh is like, and now here's your course of fresh fragiola and tomatoes and oregano cooked down so it becomes almost like a risotto with chicken and pine nuts. It's like, yeah, perfect for someone who loves jet skiing so hard he's gonna.

[Ronnie]

Die for shoulder this jet ski be.

[Ben Mandelker]

What was that? Fresh tomatoes and oregano cooked down so it becomes almost like a risotto. Yeah, risotto to the extreme.

[Ronnie]

So Aisha is telling V that she has to do laundry in the morning. Don't forget. And then we cut to Nathan and he's just sitting at the back of the boat staring into the water. You know, memories of skis crashing into lights. Etc.

[Ben Mandelker]

Doesn't he fart or is that just what I projected onto him? I thought, I thought I heard him.

[Ronnie]

Go, I thought there was a fart. But I never know on this show. You know, I feel like they're like fart lighting me.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think if you have that haircut, you're gonna. You're also the kind that like sits by the edge of boat and farts. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You'Re nudged in the boat. Farter with monkey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So Captain Sandy is very impressed with Josh. She goes to tell him he juggles an orange right into her face. And Asia is back up. They love the main course, blah, blah, blah. It's Jeremy sue, guys, it's Jeremy sue. Who's gonna be difficult about it. I'm gonna guess it's the guy with the purse. Okay? And it is. It's DaVinci. He's like, I can't stand Jeremy. So. So figure something out.

[Ben Mandelker]

You literally. Your name is da Vinci. You should love all the Italian desserts.

[Ronnie]

No kidding. What the hell? I'm kind of like, tiramisu. What a monster. Get the.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, I'm a bit, like, indifferent to tiramisu. I just feel like I eat. I can eat it and it's fine. If it were served to me, I wouldn't be like, send it back. But I. I almost always think that there are better desserts than tiramisu.

[Ronnie]

Well, I'm not gonna disagree, but you know, if you feel that way, you need to put it on your preference sheet because there's one man looking and he's got compassion, and he is disassociating from this. Okay? So you can't just be like, I don't like tiramisu at the very last second. I mean, what the hell? I need some. I need some warning.

[Ben Mandelker]

You got to put tiramisu on your preference sheet. Although I. I think it's such an edge case. I pro. I myself, if I didn't like tiramisu, probably would forget to. To mention it. But I do think that, like, I think.

[Ronnie]

Or tiramisu.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't think it's gonna. It's not. It's an inoffensive dessert. I just don't think it's like anything that ever makes me feel like, ooh, luxury or, ooh, this is heavenly. It's just like a soft. Just like a soft on soft dessert.

[Ronnie]

It's just there. So she's actually not mean about it. He's like, just give me ice cream. I don't care. Whatever you've got. So, you know, writing himself little post its down there and he gets a raspberry mousse instead. And that's what you get now. You get raspberry mousse. So guess what? You're still gonna get something soft. And now you're gonna get seeds in your teeth. Sucker.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was impressed. Josh just had contingency desserts ready to go. And like, that's. That's pretty. That's pretty baller. I would say it looks like he really did detach. So he says he's like, this is why I never get comfortable. See, because the guests, they want to do their own thing. And then all of a sudden, the shoes dropped, and now we don't like tiramisu. So I'm like, okay, so Josh has. He's organized. He's very proud of himself. He's very organized, and that's what allowed him to have the flexibility to not only make tiramisu, but to also make some moose. Now, I've never made tiramisu, but isn't it just like. Like, lady fingers dipped in, like, it's something like amaretto espresso. Okay. And then, like, what is sort of. What does it sit in? Like, what is. Is it butter? It's not buttercream, right? Is it?

[Ronnie]

It's like. Yeah, it's like a moot. Like a moose. Is it a moose mousse? I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's dipped in coffee, layered with a whip mixture of egg yolk, sugar, and marscapone. So it's like. It's. It's close to a mousse, but it's not. So I don't think it's like a. I don't get the sense. And I could be wrong. Unless he made the lady fingers himself, I don't think a tiramisu is like a heavy lift dessert. So he's like, wow, I made a tiramisu, and then I had enough time to make a moose. Like, both things are pretty.

[Ronnie]

Well, I like that he's. He's always prepared for people with, like, bad teeth, you know? Yeah, he's just, like, in the mixture of mushy, he's just always going to compare to something mushy. So now Kizzy and Josh are talking, and she's like, you all right, babe? And he's like, yeah, I'm good, babe. And she's like, good, babe. And he's like, do you mind? Do you mind me calling you babe? She's like, no, I love it. I love a pet name, babe. I'm a massive flirt. I love the person that I'm seeing to be, like, obsessed with me, but, like, in an unhealthy manner. But also, like, I don't want you, like, knocking on my door with a knife and being like, I want you. I want to wear your skin. You know what I mean? Like, not, like, that kind of obsession. I just, like. I have a big fear of, like, being murdered. I always have. What's wrong with this person? Everyone has a fear of being murdered, you fucking weirdo. There's no one on earth who doesn't have a fear of being murdered. It's like a totally normal fear.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I just want the princess treatment. Like, I love the pivot from I'm really scared. Listen, I don't want a guy who's going to murder me. I just want to be treated like a princess. I was like, that's a pretty big extremes you got going on there.

[Ronnie]

I know. I really can't tell after this monologue if she has really high standards or really low standards. Yeah, you go from, I don't want to be murdered. I want to be treated like a princess.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now everyone goes to bed, and everyone's just like, oh, God, that food was so good. And Kizzy is cleaning stuff, and everyone is, like, turning in. Everyone's go, like, everyone's doing their. Their nighttime stuff. And. And then Captain Sandy is, like, showing Tessa, like, controls. Okay. Hey, hey, over there. You with the judgy face. Okay, this is a radar, okay? Just like the time, the latitude, the longitude. And just leave a note if there's gonna be a new episode of Wind coming up because my DVR has been acting up. I just want to make sure I don't miss anything.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

You got that?

[Ronnie]

Okay. So I guess I'm stuck up here from 12 to 3. I mean, I'm happy to do some odd jobs. Unless you just like people wasting time on your ship, which I'm happy to do. So let me just write that. Okay. Captain Sandy is okay with people completely wasting their time on her ship. You want to sign off on that? Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so Nathan writes, like, an A list of overnight jobs and everything. And then basically, Max goes to sleep at the. And. And this Christian is up. He takes over at 3am to do the jobs list. And so then Christian, instead of doing any of the overnight jobs, just sits on his phone and is just sitting there looking bored for hours and hours and hours on end doing nothing.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then now it's the morning, and V is at the laundry machine. Asia just told her she's gonna have to do laundry in the morning. So here she is standing from the washing machine and doesn't know why it's not working. She doesn't know how to work it. This seems to be a common problem. I feel like there needs to just be washing machine training. Like, this is how you use the washing machine, you know? I mean, I know it seems like they should know how, but this is below deck. They don't. You can't assume that they know how to.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, it's hard. Pushing a button is really hard. So then Max is walking around. He's. Well, he's woken up, and he's looking at things, and he's seeing that Christian has not done any of the stuff that he was supposed to do, like windows or teak or, you know, the usual. Usual junk. So he's getting really, really pissed about all this. And Asia's helping V with the. With the laundry and everything, and she's like, you know, my first season in yachting, I was on a boat with a really misogynistic prick of a captain, and, like, no matter what I did, I couldn't do it right. And that came to a head when I just said, oh, I'm quitting. And I said, you must have a tiny. To treat women the way you treat them. You. And I ran out of there, and I never came back, you know, and so I really try to be more of a gentle leader, because I don't want to get to the point where V tells me I've got a tiny and then storms off the. A bear. And then for the next two minutes, we just look at Asia while her mouth just hangs open during her silent.

[Ronnie]

Laugh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which we had dinner with Asia a few months ago, and she really does that. And she does it all the time, and it's, like, really a pleasure to behold. Like, she literally, like, she will. She will bend over, and just. The mouth is open, and she stares at you like, do you want to do it, too?

[Ronnie]

So we go back to Max, and he's very disappointed in the list, you guys. Max is a big list person, and the list isn't done. So he's like, I don't know the level question, okay? But I'm trying to hypnotize him to put fire in his ass. I put fire into his ass, right? They're like, it's under his ass. Dildo. Walking dildo. Beautiful walking dildo.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is that. Is that what his hypnotherapy taught him? That you can use hypnosis to, like, motivate other people? I thought it's that you use hypnos, like, you are. You receive the hypnosis, not that you use hypnosis to motivate people.

[Ronnie]

I don't know.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're cleaning, and he's like, Max's. He's. He's. He's, like, really, like, trying to show. He's, like, being, like, a. He's being a very. What's the right word? Like, presentational. He's like. He's really going overboard showing. He's like, I'm a cleaner. I'm Cleaning. I'm doing the right thing. He's like, maybe trying to lead by example, but also prove that he's the cleaner. And he's complaining the entire time.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So he's just bitching at himself about how he's the only one who knows what he's doing. And then we go to Asia, talking to Nathan and how yesterday was so fucked. And he's like, it was upside down. Like, I don't know where to look. She's like, here we go. Here we go. So then Nathan says, hey. He's like, hey, what's cracking, Frenchman? He's like, come, come. We need to talk. What did you say to Christian to organize in the morning? He did nothing. Windows, rinsing, teak. Nothing was done. Nothing was done.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Nathan's like, oh, Jesus Christ. I got up and none of this was done. He's like, no. Oh, I do want to give Tessa and Krishna a chance to prove that they're capable of adjusting and learning and getting on with the job as fast as possible. But I'm not even around anymore. This is actually terrible. This is beyond a joke. But enough about my haircut. Am I right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So he's like, okay, well, Chris hasn't ticked any of this stuff off. And he's like, yes. I tell you something was wrong. Did you listen to me? I told you something was wrong. Fine ass. Fine ass.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

While you can online or at a retailer near you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gillette's best shave is now the best a fan can get. Gillette Labs also available in heated. Gillette is a paid partner of the New Heights podcast.

[Ronnie]

So then we see Nathan and Max cleaning stuff that Christian didn't do. And then Asia passes sanding, gives her high five. She's like a try better. I mean, you're a lesbian. High fives should be in your blood. That was a very weak high five.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're right. I like my fives the way I like my. The. The. The hem on my pants. Hi. Okay, this is A Capri high five. Okay, There you go.

[Ronnie]

This. This favorite is gonna be so high you're gonna see my ankles. Okay, got it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, so now Christian and the. And Kizzy, they're all in the crew mess and they tell. They, they tell the Christian, he smells really nice and everything because he's being flirty. Because that's what she likes to do. She loves a flirt. She likes to be a flirt.

[Ronnie]

It.

[Ben Mandelker]

And.

[Ronnie]

And he's wearing Jimmy Chew. He's wearing Jimmy Choo to work. That seems weird, right? Is that weird to be. I feel like it's too fancy of a smell to be working a non fancy job.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. But it is a mega yacht.

[Ronnie]

It's a mega yacht. It's a mega yacht. Sandy. It's a. It's a mega yacht. God, I miss that guest. It's a mega yach. It's a mega y.

[Ben Mandelker]

So that was the best. So Asia says that the guests want to go into town. Oh, it's a beautiful town. Have you been sitges? Oh my God, it's wonderful. They call it the anti norma of towns in Spain. It's just that pretty. Wow.

[Ronnie]

People actually want to go in it. So now Max sees a bee and he's terrified of the bee. He's like, work better be. Work better. You are bad worker. I'm better be than you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. He literally loses his mind. And then Josh is making some fruit. He's doing some cooking just in general. And Nathan is making telling the. The deckhands do some inflatable stuff and they have. And. And Christian's like, but there isn't enough space for it all. And he's like, but we got the whole sea. He's like, oh.

[Ronnie]

But then now this Josh is doing something that I always think they should be doing on below deck, which is making a dish for breakfast and saying, here's what's for breakfast. Then you serve it. And then if somebody wants something else or something different, then they can tell you because breakfast is one of the biggest clusterfucks on this show when people start ordering a million different things. And I've always felt like if you just tell them, okay, here's what's for breakfast. It's a. In this case, it's a poached egg avocado. And then you just say, this is what you're getting for breakfast. And if they want something different, then they're allowed to.

[Ben Mandelker]

To.

[Ronnie]

Well, he does that and it blows up in his face. So.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, but the thing is they should have just served it, not they should have served it and then said, does anyone want anything else? Anything different? Not. So instead, Asia wound up saying, like, oh, we're gonna have. We're gonna be serving this. And then they're like, actually, can I have this? So, like, like, really eliminate all the options as possible. Just get it straight ahead.

[Ronnie]

Right in front of them is your breakfast. You want to change it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Avocado.

[Ronnie]

They should have just served everybody tiramisu with an egg on top.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kizzy is cleaning. She has too many rags in her caddy, which feels like that's British slang for something. Oh, you darling. You've got too many rags in your caddy.

[Ronnie]

How dare you, you ding dong.

[Ben Mandelker]

You really need to focus on your career. Too many rags in your caddy at the moment.

[Ronnie]

She's like, I'm not sure if he has, like, a passion for detail. Is she English? What is she?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's English.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, she is.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Ronnie]

So, but at the same time, it's great for me because now I look like a rock star. Like, the best ever. And it's great because I can be like, oh, V did that wrong. You know, that sounds horrible, doesn't it? I was just flirting with you. I love to flirt.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I think she, like, knocks over, like, a little jar when she says that. Okay, so toxic. Toxic lady incoming. So Nathan is trying to get the tender ready for this excursion and everything, and. And people are just being slow. It's like, Christian, Tassa, did you copy my last. My last thing? Christian, Tassa, Hello. Oh, Jesus. Jesus. So he goes over to them and he's like, task, Christian, you need to be on your radios. And Christian's like, bro, where's my radio? He's like, it's here, right here.

[Ronnie]

He's like, sorry, bro, I need more urgency. So then we see Josh talking about the avocado poached eggs. He's like, okay, guys, I'. Avocado poached eggs and bacon. And da Vinci's like, yeah, I'm gonna need a ham and cheese omelette. And then his fiance is like, yeah, I just want avocado with no egg on it with nuts. And she's like, yeah, also I want a sunny side egg. And she's like, yeah, can I have nuts on my avocado?

[Ben Mandelker]

Thanks. Can I have an egg with nuts also, please? Can I have an egg with nuts, please, also? Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Can I have an egg with the sunny side? Runny, but well done. But also down to the side with some walnuts. That would be really great.

[Ben Mandelker]

Could I get A Japanese rolled egg, please. And can you put a little top hat on it so it looks fancy? Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Can I get a Spanish egg? I only want Spanish eggs. Do not try to serve me a Peruvian egg.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can you. Can you just serve me a. Here's what I want. I want a sous vide parsnip. But then when it's ready, cut it out and carve it to make it look like an egg. But we all know it's actually a parsnip. Thank you so much.

[Ronnie]

I want a bitcoin egg.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bitcoin. Bitcoin, please.

[Ronnie]

So Josh, Josh, how many confirmations did this egg have before it was served to my table?

[Ben Mandelker]

So this sets up a wonderful moment. So Josh is like, oh, God. Eggs with nuts and hard boiled eggs and caviar. It's not hard to make, but it's like I've set myself up, I've organized myself and now it's kind of gone to, to. Oh dear. You know, it's essential for me to have my galley in order, cuz. Well, get ready, everyone. I used to be a little bit out of control, my personal life.

[Ronnie]

Oh, you did?

[Ben Mandelker]

I took drugs for many years. Cooking saved me growing up for people.

[Ronnie]

A chef and a clown. Used to be a heroin addict. I don't believe it. I do not believe it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cooking saved me from drugs growing up. The people around me in town, the town I grew up in, everyone was just kind of doing it. Everyone was doing drugs. My grandmother, my mom, my grand. My dog, the postman. The person with the drug store obviously was doing it. Everyone's doing drugs.

[Ronnie]

14.

[Ben Mandelker]

It'd be pills on the weekend, cocaine, you know, during the weekdays with softer stuff like black tar heroin and lsd. Maybe we just choose some children's Advil. I don't know really anything we get our hands on. But the weekends is when we went real crazy.

[Ronnie]

Oh my gosh, it is crazy. There are so many sober people in the kitchen and I've worked in kitchens my whole life and there really are just. That theory is true. I mean, there are a lot of like ex addicts working in kitchens. Yet there's always coke in kitchens as well. Like, it's always the best place to find coke. So I don't really know. I don't really. It's a conundrum. It's a conundrum, I'll tell you. But they show pictures of him to prove that he was a drug addict, I guess. So he's telling a story like, yeah, you know, I was really young. I Was on drug. And they kept showing him. He never looked the same in one picture. It was one of those things. I couldn't even tell who he was. I was like, who are they? These are a lot of really odd looking white people with bruised under eyes. Like, I don't even know who any of these people are, which is him.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was like they kept on showing pictures of like, like three pasty Corey Feldman esque British boys. And I was like, which one? I think that one's him, but it could be that one. And they kept on showing them through the years growing up. And I was like, who are these other two boys? And is this like a tricky thing? It's like Highlights magazine or something. Like, which one is different in which picture? But yeah, it was the age old. I was on drugs. Cooking saved me. And now I'm a clown. You know, as cliche as it comes.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And now I'm a clown. Yeah. So he got sober in 2019 and you know, is it better to burn out or is it better to fade away? I don't know. I'll tell you what, both of those things are better without clown makeup. Now he's making breakfast and Da Vinci's fiance is writing something, I'm sure something really romantic. And Carl's like, oh, you should say doing. He's like, you know what? Like, sitting here, like being with you guys and having nothing to say to each other. Like, it's really nice, right? Because it's like quiet. Like, listen to it. Isn't that comfortable? Isn't it? Isn't it? Why is nobody talking? Is it me? Am I ugly? Am I too skinny? Is everybody sick of my white jeans?

[Ben Mandelker]

What is happening? Sandy and Nathan are hanging around. And Sandy, Nathan looks at the. What? He points to the water and he's like, oh, there's loads of jellyfish in the water. And Sandy's like, oh, yeah, you'll just make them very. Just make the guests really aware. And we'll scare the jellyfish off. By the way, do jellyfish get scared off? I feel like jellyfish don't even have brains. They just float to things and they just.

[Ronnie]

Jellyfish ain't scared of shit. They can sting. They can sting you with their minds. They do not give a crap. Okay? And also, I've never seen jellyfish like this where they're just. First of all, they're the kind that's. I don't know. We talked about this in the preview when we saw some jellyfish, but they're kind of like chunky. Jellyfish, I don't know. They're not like, as you know, some jellyfish are. These are like solid mushroom looking fish. They're big and they're like kind of at the top of the water. Like it's feeding time and they're waiting for worms to be dropped into the water. It's really weird. They're like koi. They're like koi.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're. They were beautiful. They were beautiful. And they were like very, like, visible too. Like some jellyfish you can't really see very well. But these were very obvious. But what's so funny is I just, I did a Google search. I said, can you scare a jellyfish? And you know, Google always offers an AI answer. And it got a little sassy with me. It says, no, you cannot, quote, unquote, scare a jellyfish. I was like, okay, no need for the, no need for the quotes. No need for, for the derision. It goes, it says, no, you cannot scare a jellyfish because they lack a brain and cognitive abilities to feel fear or other emotions. Dummy.

[Ronnie]

Idiot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you, Google, for shaming. So the answer is, you can't scare them. Them, okay? They just have a nerve net that allows them to sense and react to environmental changes. Well, I'll give them an environmental change. It's called put on some capri pants, you jellyfish, and get out of here. Scram.

[Ronnie]

I prefer a flowier jellyfish. I don't like these, like, thick, staunch jellyfish. I don't like them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I like these ones. You like the ones that have the big sort of like, like almost like the stuff that's on a pipe. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You know, where it's like flowing like a caftan in the wind, where they're like, I'm jellyfish.

[Ben Mandelker]

How are you doing?

[Ronnie]

What are you doing today? I'm doing nothing. I'm smoking cigarettes on my deck and listening to classical music. What are you doing? You're like, oh, my God. Has that person ever worked? Has that jellyfish ever had a job? Their caftan's just blowing. These are like little staunch, like the mushrooms from Mario Brothers.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't like them. They're like little button mushrooms. I like them. They have that nice sort of like blue tint. And like sometimes I don't like the jellyfish that have all those like ruffles, you know, like they're sort of like tentacles, have like lots of business, almost like the front of a pirate shirt or something. I don't like jellyfish like that very much. These I like, they were very classic, but I kind of. I really hate that jellyfish sting so much because it's like, if you don't have a brain, it's like, not fair that you can. That you can hurt people, but you don't have a brain. Like, it's not if you hurt me.

[Ronnie]

Because, like, have you not been paying attention to politics?

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, my point remains. I don't like mindless hurting of people. And that goes for you, jellyfish. Now I get it. It's like, no, it's because they don't have a brain. They need to have some sort of defense. Otherwise they'll just get eaten up. I'm like, fine. But, like, I just don't think it's fair that they're the ones who are just being thoughtless. Literally thoughtless. They can't have thoughts, and yet they can get away with, like, terrifying an entire boat being like, what they can.

[Ronnie]

Think and what they can't think. I don't believe the jellyfish don't have thoughts. They do.

[Ben Mandelker]

I believe that they don't. I believe they do not have thoughts.

[Ronnie]

You know, we think we know everything. What the do we know? We're not inside a jellyfish.

[Ben Mandelker]

The are we all right, I won't erase the jellyfish.

[Ronnie]

Jellyfish is like, yeah, jellyfish are people, too.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jellyfish are people too, everyone. There it is. So these jellyfish are floating around, and Max is like, oh, la la. Oh, I love this beautiful blue pepper chandelier jellyfish. They are gorgeous. They look like, you know.

[Ronnie]

It'S like.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I love it. I just want to touch it. I want to touch it on top. And they're like, well, don't touch it. It's gonna sticky. He's like, no, you can touch on top. It's only the 10 decals that will hurt you. It's okay. Don't worry about the tenties. Ah, yes. I'm going to bet the jellyfish on top.

[Ronnie]

So it's like trying to grab the jellyfish from the top, which this is why I'm glad that they can sting, because stupid people like Max.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I take actually. Actually sounds definitely on the jellyfish's side with this.

[Ronnie]

They're doing nothing. They're just trying to, like, relax by a boat, you know? And he's like, I'm gonna grab it by the head. And so he grabs it, and then he can't get a hold of it. But he does touch it, and then he starts rubbing his eyes. And he had jellyfish splooge on his hands and he touched his eye, and now he's gonna go blind now.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's burning. God, I can't believe you had such a negative reaction to touching a jellyfish voluntarily. This was remind me of on Below Deck Adventure. There was this awful deckhand who, like, scooped up a. Like, grabbed a fish and he, like, ate it. And I was like, what are you doing? And it's like this, like, why are you touching the fish? Like, do your job, do your food, and don't touch the jellyfish. And now look what you've done done. Now you got jellyfish splooge in your eye. And you're. And you're like, you can't see. Like, I would have been afraid. I would have lost my eye because it's like, a jellyfish thing is not nothing. Like, this guy's an idiot.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And that's one of the things you go to the hospital for, and you're, like, bleeding out of your eyes, and they're just like, you're so stupid. It's like people who go in there with, like, a Coke bottle up their butt, they're like, I like reconsidering their lives, you know, like, what am I doing here? What am I doing here? So Asia is Nathan, could you see Max? He touched a jellyfish and touched his eyes, and his eyes are on fire. And I would help him, but I can't see through my tears of laughter. So if you can help him. So they. They're trying to help him. Nathan's like, what an idiot. So now Josh is complaining because these people are crazy. And then Sandy goes down to check on Max, and he's like. It is like Tobasco. Tobasco in the eyes. She's like, oh, God, why'd you touch the fish? Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

She really look at him, like, why'd you do that? It's like. It's like every time I see a guy, you know, emerging from a date with Norma, I'm like, why'd you. Why'd you do it?

[Ronnie]

Why would you do that? She's just kind of laughing at him. Say, go put fresh water on it in the crewmas. Hey, we've got some Nespresso pods. Try those.

[Ben Mandelker]

So does anyone want to pee on Max's eye? Anyone? No? Okay, I guess I'll just have to use. Use the. Use the water.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alison Block.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster, sir. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets an A from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox, Megan Burke. You can't have a burger without the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie]

I love a YA Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.

[Ben Mandelker]

She sure is swell.

[Ronnie]

It's Raquel, yes, we canna. It's Savannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors She's VV IP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Ronnie]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's queen who? Laifa.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Chadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G. It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a whiz It's Liz Sarson Dorothy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible.

[Ronnie]

Edible Matthew sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud, neat.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Ronit Feldman maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah.

[Ronnie]

Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out of.

[Ben Mandelker]

A can and Anthony please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take a off with Tamla Plain she ain't no.

[Ronnie]

Shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.