#3028 Below Deck Med S10E02 Part 2: I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jellyfish

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #3028

Episode: Below Deck Med S10E02 Part 2: I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jellyfish

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: October 7, 2025

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Overview

In this lively and irreverent recap, Ben and Ronnie dissect the second half of Below Deck Mediterranean, Season 10 Episode 2. They revel in the crew’s dysfunction, lampoon the so-called “bitcoin billionaires” among the guests, and spotlight the clashing personalities both above and below deck. Highlights include Max’s jellyfish debacle, Christian’s ineptitude, Tessa’s judgy antics, and the endless spectacle of fake luxury on discount. Throughout, Ben and Ronnie deploy their trademark blend of mockery, Bravo fandom, and sparkling impressions of Captain Sandy and crew, making for a hilarious, detail-rich breakdown.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Breakfast Chaos & Max’s Jellyfish Incident (00:43–02:12)

• Breakfast Orders: The hosts dive in as Aesha brings a massive breakfast request, triggering Da Vinci’s complaint about healthy green juice.
• Caviar Humor: Ronnie spotlights a guest’s reaction: “That’s eggs on eggs. Okay? Karl, I love the caviar. It’s like eggs on eggs!” (00:54, Host paraphrasing guest)
• Max’s Eye Drama: Max has a swollen, red eye from (supposedly) a jellyfish sting, prompting varied, absurd remedies from the crew, like vinegar (“You can’t put vinegar on an eye!”) (02:04). Ben and Ronnie riff on these escalating “solutions.”

2. Excursion Preparations & Christian’s Tender Trials (03:12–05:43)

• Tender Mishaps: Christian is tasked with driving the tender boat despite appearing totally unprepared. Max barks orders, but Christian can’t unrope the vessel, drawing ridicule.
• Christian’s Backstory: Christian explains that bullying in Colombia made him defensive and “aggressive,” but Ben quips: “Is everybody after you, or is everybody bullying you?” (05:21)
• Judging Competence: Ronnie points out Max’s hypocrisy in slamming Christian, given Max’s own dubious instincts last week (10:51).

3. Crew Dynamics, Flirting, and Kizzy’s Antics (06:10–09:53)

• Kizzy’s Story: Kizzy tells a wild tale about sleeping with a guy who turned out to be in a cult (“When I’m single, I just feel free to act however I want to act...And then I found out he’s in a cult.” 06:27), which confuses the hosts.
• Villain Watch: Ronnie predicts Kizzy’s fun-loving persona will give way to her villain side: “I just need her to be an asshole. You see it coming.” (07:08)
• Kissing Debate: Christian asks the girls: “Max or Nathan?” V picks Max “because he’s French”—“I think French, French kiss, you know?” (09:04)
• Crew Flirtations: Kizzy flirts indiscriminately with most of the male deckhands, sizing them all up for potential (21:09).

4. Jet Ski & Deck Team Dysfunction (11:12–14:48)

• Lack of “Urgency”: Both hosts and Asia stress the vital need for urgency on deck—“The number one thing is a sense of urgency. That’s gonna drive Nathan crazy.” (11:23)
• Tessa the Judgy Ghost: Tessa’s contributions are mostly silent, judgy disapproval—“She doesn’t speak. She just goes around, like, judging everything” (12:40), drawing comparisons to a “good Tinkerbell” (12:54, 13:06).

5. Mess in the Mess, Communal Food & More Social Class Jokes (12:09–13:38, 08:13–08:35)

• Communal Eating: Crew members eat straight from serving dishes (“This is not your trough. Get a plate.” 12:11), highlighting lack of etiquette.
• Class Commentary: Ben and Ronnie love to roast guests’ snobbishness about local shops: “You’re on a Groupon cruise right now, so please.” (08:25)

6. Underlying Tensions & Interpersonal Dramas (14:14–18:08, 19:11–20:07)

• Crew Breakdown: Josh, the chef, is feeling pressure (“Detach, detach, detach. It’s just cooking, right? Breathe.” 14:14), foreshadowing stress cracks.
• Deck Team Weakness: The deck crew’s incompetence is a running theme, with Captain Sandy repeatedly telling Nathan to train his team and get organized. Ronnie notes, “You’re only as good as your worst person” (11:45).
• Impending Fights: Tessa predicts a fight brewing between Max and Christian—“Yeah, Christian and freaking Max… I’m gonna observe it.” (19:43)

7. Max, Christian & the Docking Fiasco (25:50–28:58)

• Docking Chaos: The finale sees the crew botch dock lines, ignore Captain Sandy’s request for silence, and generally fumble the operation, prompting her exasperation: “You two, no sitting like that when I’m coming into a port.” (28:34)
• Captain Sandy’s Verdict: “Christian has no idea what he’s doing. And Tessa, I don’t know where she is because she doesn’t talk. I mean, we look like amateurs, because we are. We are.” (28:58)

8. Tip Meeting & Reflection (29:57–33:07)

• Tip Amount: Despite the mess, the guests leave a solid tip: “€30,000. That’s €2,727 each.” (32:19)
• Performance Feedback: Sandy lavishes praise on the interior, takes deck team to task: “Interior team, awesome job. In fact, I’m going to be so enthusiastic about the job you did just so that the deck team realizes how much they messed up.” (31:02)
• Ben & Ronnie’s Analysis: Mutual confusion over duvet covers offers relatable, comedic interlude (“Without the ties, you’re fucked.” 34:00).

9. Max v. Christian, Ongoing Rivalry (34:19–35:41)

• Hose Argument: The guys bicker over a misplaced hose; tempers flare (“You don’t want to mess with me. Yeah. You really don’t want to mess with me.” 34:21), leading to sides being chosen—Ben leans towards Christian, Ronnie abstains but roots for Tessa to break.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the tender fail:
  “He can’t figure out how to go. And Max is like, back it up. Drive it fast to the shore... and Christian’s like, no.” (04:27, Ronnie as Max/Christian)
• On fake wealth:
  “You’re on a Groupon cruise right now, so please.” (08:25, Ben)
• On Tessa's vibe:
  “She doesn’t speak. She just goes around, like, judging everything, you know, judging you. She doesn’t work. She just judges. That is work, sir. She’s entertaining me. I love her.” (12:40, Ronnie)
• On Kizzy's dating anecdote:
  “It’s not like you. Did you, like, kill him or something afterwards or did you light his house on fire?” (06:46, Ben, skeptical of Kizzy’s story)
• On communal eating:
  “Why are you eating out of the tin? This is not your trough. Okay. Get a plate.” (12:11, Ben)
• On Captain Sandy supervision:
  “You know, we look like amateurs, because we are. We are.” (28:58, Ronnie impersonating Sandy)
• Ben on choosing sides:
  “I don’t know if I can be on the side of the person who, like, voluntarily, like, touched a jellyfish and then, like, touched his eye. So I think I’m on Christian’s side on this one.” (35:18)
• On Tessa’s Tinkerbell energy:
  “But you get the sense that she may also be, like, responsible for the demise of, like, something precious, like, you know, your hideout.” (13:06, Ben)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Breakfast & Max’s Eye Incident: 00:43–02:15
• Tender Driving Debacle (Christian): 04:27–05:43, 09:55–10:51
• Kizzy’s Cult Story: 06:27–06:46
• Deck Team Assessment (Urgency & Judging): 11:23–13:06
• Docking Fiasco: 25:50–28:58
• Tip Meeting: 31:02–33:07
• Max v. Christian Post-Tip Meltdown: 34:19–35:41

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Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie maintain a playful, sarcastic, and loving-but-mocking tone throughout, which is central to the Watch What Crappens brand:

• Heavy use of character voices (especially Captain Sandy)
• Quick, punchy riffs and reality TV in-jokes
• Fandom mixed with genuine critique (“We mock because we love”)
• Irreverent but insightful takes on class, work ethic, and TV personas

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Final Thoughts

This episode brings all the hallmarks of a classic Crappens recap: astute (and absurd) observations, pitch-perfect impersonations, deep Below Deck knowledge, and endless takedowns of both pretentious guests and bumbling crew. By episode’s end, the deck team remains a mess and the interior shines—setting the stage for more Bravo chaos. Listeners are left eager to see who crumbles or rises in the coming weeks, with Ben and Ronnie cheering on Tessa’s silent judgment as their MVP.

Transcript

[A]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Watch what Crappens ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[B]

Watch what Crappins.

[A]

Watch what Crappins. Guess what happens when there's so much that happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.

[B]

So now Asia comes down with a huge breakfast order. And Da Vinci, meanwhile, is complaining about green juice looking too healthy, which of course he does.

[A]

Yeah, of course. And then, then one of the ladies observes that when there's caviar on a boiled egg, she goes, that's eggs on eggs. Okay? So, Carl, I love the calvary arts. Like eggs on eggs. Did someone say that already?

[B]

What?

[A]

You already did. And Max is washing his eye like crazy. He's got all sorts of stuff on his face now. He looks crazy.

[B]

So Nathan's like, oh, my God, these people are idiots. I wish I had my other team back from last year. And he just like, yeah, you've got to constantly monitor, monitor everything they do. I mean, for. But also for entertainment. I mean, it's been really fun watching them. So now we cut down to Tessa, and Tessa and V are looking for stuff to help, and one of them wants to get vinegar. Someone's like, you can't put vinegar on an eye. But I do love the idea. Like, do we have any battery acid to put on Max's eye? Anybody? All right, well, I like. You do scoop out his eye with a spoon and then put it in the dishwasher.

[A]

I don't know how to use it. Between Tessa and V, I'm going to assume it was V suggested the vinegar and Tessa was like, you can't do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now it's like his eye is, like, swollen shut. He looks crazy. And Nathan's like, Jesus. It's like, well, what did we do in a past life to deserve this? He's like, well, I can probably think of many things, you know? So now they're going to go on an excursion.

[B]

Excursion time. And Tess is cleaning plates and Tessa's like, what the fuck? With Christian not knowing what the whips are and Nathan smashing in a light. And now a man's just been Steve Irwin on the fucking swim platform. Yeah, My grandfather was a cat, by the way. Too soon. Irwin. How dare you? Steve Irwin was dancing, right? International treasure. Yeah. His son is on Dancing with the Stars. Watch your goddamn mouth. And that was a stingray.

[A]

Yeah. By the way, there's a difference between a jellyfish and a stingray. Okay? You better be more sensitive, man. Yeah. Tessa.

[B]

And she's like, my grandfather was a captain, and my family. We've got a catamaran. So, yeah, I know how a boat is meant to be run. No, you know how catamaran is meant to be running, ma'. Am. This is a super Y. Sandy.

[A]

The producer says, well, what would your grandfather say to Nathan right now? She goes, get a better haircut. And then just cut to Nathan.

[B]

Then I started, like, printing out pictures and cutting them out to, like, make a stand wall for her. I was like, okay, this is my kind of girl. I love her.

[A]

Yeah. I think where the rule is, like, if your name is Tessa and you're on Bravo, we're going to like you. So we're over two for two with our Tessas.

[B]

So let's go to the excursion. Some. Someone's like, oh, my God, we're going on that beach. There's poor people there. That's disgusting.

[A]

And Kizzy is putting together a tablescape. Nathan's tell talking to Sandy, and he's like. He's like, that feels good, right? Like, just getting someone else doing the tender. Just a wee bit of weight off the soldiers. But who's driving who? Christian is. He's done it before. He feels very confident. It's, like, maybe not a wise choice given that this guy doesn't seem to know what he's doing at any time.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe test him first.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. Make sure he can drive it first. So of course, we cut to the tender, where Christian doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, and he doesn't know how to get it unroped, untied, which is a huge. A huge problem. So he can't figure out how to go. And Max is like, back it up. Drive it fast to the shore. Get. Get higher to the guest. Go. Hurry, hurry, hurry. And Christian's like, no. So Christian, we get some backstory from him. He's from a small city in Colorado or in Colombia called Via. Via Vincenzio. Right. Via Vicencio. So he didn't like it. Okay. Because he experienced bullying when he was in high school, probably because his eyes are always shocked. He's always like.

[A]

I was bullied by all the women giving me their numbers on napkins. So much because. So I became really lame. What is it?

[B]

Is everybody after you or is everybody bullying you? He's like. So I became really aggressive. And when I fear someone trying to step on me, my reaction immediately is, like, on a fight mode. And Max is pretty demeaning, which is why I'm not going to be able to untie this boat for another hour.

[A]

It's bullying that triggers me.

[B]

So.

[A]

So now the guests get off. Get off this boat. They go into. They go into town and they all are going to go. They all go walking around and everything. And Christian takes the tender back and, you know, people are cleaning on the boat and stuff. And Kizzy's talking to Nathan. She's like, I can't wait for tomorrow. I want to dance and not get murdered. And he's like, oh, yeah. Do you really want me to turn it on? What? The charm? He's like, ah, the charm. Go for it. Well, I will turn it on. Love to see it. Guarantee you. Yeah, I'll be up there. All right. That concludes Kizzy and Nathan.

[B]

Theater, super hot guys. She's like, yeah, When I'm single, I just feel free to act however I want to act. And this one time I was on a date with a guy and I slept with him. And then I found out he's in a cult. And I. I don't want to say everything in case he comes out and murders me or something. I'm afraid of being murdered. Wacky kissy.

[A]

What does like, sleeping with a guy and finding out that he's in a cult have to do with you saying that? When you're single, you feel free to act however you want. It's not like you. Did you, like, kill him or something afterwards or did you light his house on fire? Like, I'm waiting for the thematic connection of how sleeping a guy who is in a cult has to do with doing whatever you want.

[B]

Yeah, I don't. I don't really understand most of what Kizzy says, except that she's trying to be like a fun loving. And it's. It's not really working so far. I just need her. I just need her to be an asshole. Because you see it coming. We see like, many, many signs of it coming. I just need the villain side to come out because the nice part. I'm not buying the nice part, but I think I'm gonna buy the villain part.

[A]

Yeah. So they just flirt some more, and it's very uninteresting. And Asia is continuing to point out all the local stores, like, There's a really cool store where they make their own clothing. And Da Vinci's like, yeah, I. I wear Gucci and Louis Vuitton and also Chachki socks that have bitcoins on them. So I don't think I need any local clothing from Sitges or however.

[B]

Yeah, yes. Fiance is like, no Gucci, no Louie, no. That's a no for me. I'm with somebody who has the right to say that they don't want to eat tiramisu whenever they want. You think I'm going to shop in a poor person store? Disgusting.

[A]

Josh can't find potatoes and Tessa's wandering around. She's not sure what she's supposed to be doing.

[B]

I just like to remind these people that they're on like a 50% off cruise.

[A]

Yep, that's a good point.

[B]

I hate when people come on below deck and like, oh, my God, like, I'm so rich. I'm not going in a store that Gucci. Really? Because you're like on a Groupon cruise right now, so please.

[A]

There's that too. Christian is in the crew mess and he is talking to the girls and he's like, hey, girls, have a question. Max or Nathan? And Kizzy's like, I don't want to say anything. I'm coy. And Christian's like, well, I. I won't tell. Tell me. I won't tell. Come on, just a little kiss. Like a little more. Which one do you want to do? And V says that Max would kiss better. They both say, because he's French.

[B]

I think back, french kiss, you know?

[A]

So I guess would not be a good kisser. I feel like he would think he's a good kisser and then it'd be like all over the map.

[B]

Yeah, but they think he's going to be really passionate and kiss. He's like, he'd be like, I'm gonna hypnotize you. Like, oh. Which is interesting because he also is trying to hypnotize people. So it's interesting that she picked up on that. And Christian's like, yeah, I've been out of the game for so long, I just. I think I'm now. I mean, I used to be good, but. But just. I'm not in it anymore. I just get all these numbers thrown at me all the time, but I. I just never call them. Yeah, see, I told you I didn't believe he got a number on the boat. This guy has no game.

[A]

No game.

[B]

And a handsome guy too. He's just a gameless. He's a gameless guy.

[A]

Gameless. Gameless. Handsome. So then Asia is like, gameless.

[B]

Recognize. Gameless. Okay.

[A]

Hello. Gameless. Asia. Asia, gameless. We're ready for a ride back to the boat. Can you please pick us up and see? Cheers. And so he, like, goes down to the boat at 5:41. And then this is where Christian is. Has no idea what to do. He's like, I think the. I think all he has to do is unclip like three. Three ropes or something like that. And he's totally lost. He's completely confused by this process.

[B]

And so we get a typical below deck scene of people on the deck going, wait, are you coming or are you not coming? Because we called you to come and you're not coming. These people are yelling at the paws, please come. And he's like, coming, but he can't get the ropes. And finally he does. And he gets there, you know, after the time has ticked and ticked and ticked and ticked. And now everyone's frustrated and Max is like, he's law. Useless nail bro. I don't understand why you are stupid like this. Just do the thing we're asking you to do.

[A]

I mean, this is Max, who is the one last week when the. There was an issue that like a. Something was floating away and he just jumped into the water to, like, go get it when Nathan was there with the boat already. So, like, it's not like Max has great instincts either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Although I guess you could say he has developed some sort of hustle now. Like, useless hustle. He's one of those people.

[B]

So that's not really hustle. He's just gonna criticize everyone around him to make himself look better. He's one of those. Well, even though he's got a point.

[A]

Yeah. So Max is saying that you cannot be slow. And Yang and Asia's like, the number one thing is a sense of urgency. That's gonna drive Nathan crazy. Christian slow. And Nathan is more than capable of running the deck team, you know, but you're the only as good as your worst person.

[B]

So. Okay, so Christian finally comes, and now people get to go, you know, back on the boat or whatever. So Nathan is trying to talk to V while she's eating, and she's like, what? What? What? What the off? So he leaves. She's eating out of an entire tray of communal potatoes instead of putting them on a plate.

[A]

I noticed that.

[B]

What the hell?

[A]

I was like, why are you eating out of the tin? This is not your trough. Okay. Get a plate. So now the guests are. That the guests are going to be. Are back, and it's time for more jet Skis. And then I think, like, Max is asking if they have gas or something like that. Or Nathan is, and Christian says he checked, and they were at half. So then Nathan's, like, filled them all the way up, and Tessa is just standing there with her arms crossed, annoyed. I cannot believe these two.

[B]

And Nathan says, yeah, Tessa, she's just a little judgmental ghost. She doesn't speak. She just goes around, like, judging everything, you know, judging you. She doesn't work. She just judges. That is work, sir. She's entertaining me. I love her.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I love that she just sort of like, ghost. She's like Tinkerbell.

[B]

Perfect way to put it, because she's just, like, standing there, like, she's not speaking, but you can see that she's like, idiot.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I mentioned, I think on the podcast that, like, about two weeks ago or so, I watched the original Peter Pan for the first time, and I never really realized how judgy and kind of awful Tinkerbell is. But sort of in this way, Tessa's sort of like a. Like a good Tinkerbell. And she just sort of is there, and she's just giving nasty looks and. But she's flittering about, not really doing anything. But you get the sense that she may also be, like, responsible for the demise of, like, something precious, like, you know, your hideout.

[B]

Yeah. So Nathan is talking to Sandy, and he's like, well, I preach to them every time they come in to check them, refuel, and. But they're coming in and they're not being checked. And she's like, oh, uh. Oh, it's gonna be great. This season's gonna be great. I just feel it. And so now the deck team is talking, and Tess is like, did someone just fart?

[A]

This is going in the book.

[B]

She's like, 9:27am Someone farted. Nathan didn't do anything about it. What kind of catamaran is this?

[A]

So Asia is talking to Josh. Are you coping mentally? He's like, yeah, I'm tired. I'm good. But detach, detach, detach. It's just cooking, right? Breathe. Okay, that's interesting. And V is dealing with her washing machine. She's continuing on her journey. It seems like she maybe turn. She's, like, smelling the clothes out of the washing machine, and they don't smell good, which makes me think, like, oh, you forgot to put in detergent, didn't you? Okay, baby. Steps on this front. You can do it.

[B]

So Josh is complaining about the guests because they're so picky. And he's like, I don't need fucking guests who are trying to stop me. I just want to serve you good food. You'll be happy, I'll be happy. We can all live happily ever after. And we start seeing the clown facade start to crumble. So first course, Josh is like, keep the plates flat. Please don't mess up my plating. Keep it flat. Which is actually a valid thing to tell them because V is like hot dog fingers over there.

[A]

So Nathan's telling Sandy, oh, that's going to be a hard season, I think. No, it's not. Okay, listen, it's like. It's like a guy going on a date with Norma. It won't be hard, okay? You're just learning the ropes.

[B]

That guy's going to be as mushy as one of your tiramisu's, okay?

[A]

It's gonna be one big limp season. That's what I'm trying to say.

[B]

So Nathan's like, it's gonna be hard season. She's like, no, it's not. You're just learning the ropes. It's gonna be great. The Internet's gonna love me this season. So then we cut to Tessa just muttering to herself while Christian's stuffing his face. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm just over this. Everyone's just so angry all the time. Who's angry? You haven't seen anything yet. This is below this.

[A]

This is light. So Nathan's just telling Sandy that it's like he just doesn't have time to train the crew. He's like, no, you have to, though. It's like, yeah, I guess so. It's like, you'll have time. It's like instead of like taking the afternoon, I know you deserve an afternoon off. But, like, if you want to train the crew, like, you have to have some training time. Then during, do your time, use your time wisely, and then party, okay? Work first. Party leader. Okay?

[B]

So people see the guests are watching them talk, and they're like, oh, my God, what are they talking about? So they do voiceovers. I'm Captain Sandy, and I don't make things messy. And, you know, if you have a pair of jeans, you better cut off 2 inches off the bottom or people aren't going to see your ankles. And what kind of boat is this going to be? Have you ever heard of Geraldine Ferraro? Did she run for president or was She a famous tennis person? What was that lady's name? God, I forgot. Jesus, she's hot. She's so good at tennis.

[A]

And then it cuts to Sandy being, listen, Nathan, if you got a pair of jeans, you got to cut two inches off, okay? Have you ever heard of Geraldine Ferrar? Was she a tennis player or not? I don't know what she is, but she's pretty hot. I was like, wow, they really got it right.

[B]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial. So Kristen is. Christian's talking to Tessa still, and he's like, yeah, I tend to lose my shit very easily. Like today, I've been in that, like, cracking point a couple of times, but I'm just like, it's okay. Like, the rope doesn't want to come off the tender. The rope just doesn't want to come off the tender. I mean, it's Max's fault somehow, right? I mean, like, how about I just chill? How about I just chill? And she's like, yeah, this fucking guy's shoving his face full of food, and he's not keeping his mouth closed while he eats. What kind of catamaran is this?

[A]

What an idiot. He, like, literally can't even, like, keep his calm for, like, two seconds. Like, why are you even in this industry? Am I right? So Captain Sandy is like, look, this crew, they need clear directions. Even if you write it down, okay? This is our first charter. They will get in a routine. Don't you worry about it. So then a lady starts sneezing at the table, and they all laugh at her. She does it nine times, and da Vinci is disturbed. Then we got to Kizzy trying to figure out how to turn on the reading lights. So then they can't get the lights on at the. At the bedside, and that's a problem. And they're. Everyone's running table plates to the tables and everything.

[B]

So now we get some food served, and it's like a 12 out of 10, chef. This was amazing. It's 12 out of 10. So, so good. And then we cut to Josh dressed as a clown, going, happy, happy, happy. Please stop scaring me. It's scary every time I see him.

[A]

And then they have, like, a burst of fire behind him. I was like, this is. This is disturbing. So Tessa is like, my feet hurt. I'm not used to standing so much. God, what a shitty catamaran we're on right now. Am I right, everyone? He's like, yeah. I say this to Christian. We have to have the same struggle. We all have the same struggle every day. You know, it's not just him, okay? He's like, yeah, I see a fight brewing between the two of you. It's coming. Okay, I'll be over there in the corner watching and smiling.

[B]

And Nathan heard it, so he asked her later. He's like, did you see. Did you say you could see a fight brewing? She's like, yeah, Christian and freaking Max. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna watch tomorrow, and I'm gonna observe. I'm going to observe it. You haven't noticed that these two hate each other? Come on, Nathan. Where you at, buddy? Stop farting at the end of the boat and pay attention. So next.

[A]

Yeah. And they're like, I'll give you $5 to eat the Beetle. Which goes to show that these guys really aren't that rich, because a real millionaire would be like, I'll give you $1,500 for the beetle, but not $5. You guys can't come on this boat and pretend that you're, like, bitcoin billionaires, and then when you make a simple bet, it's only for $5. That's just not the way, you know, like, fake rich people are supposed to act.

[B]

Bing. Kizzy is getting a text from mystery Tommy. Another text from Tommy. Tommy's like, you free? Just drive into the club if you want to ft. And she's like, no, baby, I'm working. Sorry, you have to ft somebody else. So we don't know who Tommy is, but it's going to become important later, I'm sure. So now it's bedtime. The guest, Asia, tells Sandy that the guests are happy. Max is chugging milk straight from the carton, which is great without his shirt on. And lots of. Lot of people need to be taught what communal food is on this boat.

[A]

Yeah, I think so. Kizzy walks by, and she goes. She sees Max doing this, and she's like, you're such a. Yeah. You go, ooh, look at this. Got my muscles out. Look at me. Look, I'm right by the camera. Muscles out, drinking milk. Look at me. He's like, bro, you come saying I'm a slurred. I didn't talk to you. I was drinking my milk and peace. And she's like, oh, I love biceps. Biceps and shoulders. And you've got a massive ass too. He's like, you didn't know what she doing? So she's. She's pretty much just like. She's. She's trying to See where she can get any sort of traction with any of these guys?

[B]

Yeah. She's flirting with every single guy to see who she can hook. So she's like, love it. So then Nathan leaves the job list on the bridge again. And then we cut to Tessa, and she's like, oh, my God, everybody around here is stupid. I can't take it. Nobody under here understands the importance of catamaran rules. So then Nathan goes to check on Josh, and Josh and him talk. And Nathan's like, yeah, a couple of the Dex teams just need to. I don't know. And Max comes in. He's like, yes, what do you need? And he's like, well, you know, switch it on. But Max is flying. Max is doing great. And he's like, my feet doesn't touch the floor anymore. This is how I fly all the way up, bro. I start to be hornier. I'm not thinking with my brain anymore. Oh, I'm so. Honey.

[A]

Christian's like, why are you horny, man? He's like, oh, well, my first sex, I was 13. And Nathan's like, oh, I was actually 13 as well. And Christian's like, really? Like, yeah. And then Christian's like, I was 18. I was late. And Christian's like. He's like, yeah. Yes, everyone. I was 150. A late bloomer. Oh, my God, could you imagine anyone losing their virginity at 18 years old? I remember everyone was like, 15 and 16 and, oh, kissing girls, having girlfriends. And I was like, oh, the. I was the only one in my group who just had nothing. So I made up this girlfriend. Her name was Alejandra. And I used to say that she was from the neighborhood next to mine. And then we used to. We had a date, going to go. We'd go to the movies, and we were making out because we were in our teens, and I was. I wasn't really, like, good with the ladies yet at all. Like, has that changed?

[B]

Yeah. So he, like, Max likes Kizzy. And Christian's like, yeah, she's got a lot of energy. So then we cut to Kizzy, and she's in the bunk on top of the covers, you know, scrolling through her phone, and she's FaceTiming someone. Is it Tommy? But we're not sure. And she just says she wants him to know that she's alive. And she's like, yeah, I love the crew. Yeah, there's loads of English people here. And there's Irish, Josh's Highlands. And, you know, I just want to. Everyone, like, everyone's just so Sexy. And then we cut back to the kitchen, where everyone's like, yeah, kids is sexy.

[A]

Yeah. But Nathan says we have to keep it professional, you know, save for the night out. You're mad bastard. So Kizzy's like, yeah, I want to bang everyone because they're all hot. So. Yeah. And so they're like, oh, my God, there's gonna be drama next time. Okay, well, next morning now.

[B]

Next morning, Banana goes out. How are things on deck? It's good. Everything's great. V's decorating the table. And Asia wants her to have a bowl of jams. And she's like, already got the jams. They're right over there. And Asia's like, oh, my God, she's finally getting it. So Sandy comes to the bridge. They're hauling anchor at nine. Okay, guys, everything's going great. This is going to be a great season. So then Nathan realizes that because Max tells and that the stuff wasn't done again last night. Dun, dun, dun. Christian just sat around doing nothing again. Was he not told yesterday not to do nothing? I don't think he was.

[A]

Yeah. I think he's just lazy. He's very, very lazy.

[B]

He doesn't even do two nights in a row.

[A]

I think that, like, because he was, like, a pilot, as a pilot, he sort of like. He's like the BMOC on a plane. And I think having to do this sort of like, menial labor is, like. I think it's hard for him. I think it's, like, below, Like. I think he just is like, I shouldn't have to do this. I'm a pilot.

[B]

So he's not happy about it. And now VCs a poop stain on the toilet. She's not happy about it.

[A]

It's the.

[B]

It's the yearly poop stain on below deck. And Kizzy's like, oh, good for him. Had a good poo. Good for that guy. I feel like It's D. Oh, 100%.

[A]

So everyone's getting ready. It's time to come into the port. And Nathan's giving instructions. It's time to dock. And one thing that we do know is that when you have to dock, you have to be quiet because the captain needs to hear, like, all the. All the. The. The distances and everything like that. So naturally, Christian, Max start arguing really close to Sandy. Like, close enough that she can turn around and be, like, quiet because. Because Christian's like, man, in 35 minutes that I've done that before. But, like, just. It's just babbling about Stuff. And Max like, but that is why you don't know something. You know, it's better repeat. You know, repeat it over and over again. Because I was like, hey, hey. Okay, I need you guys not talking on the bow and paying attention. Thank you. Okay, I'm trying to. I'm trying to basically hug this port with this boat. Okay? We need to have a successful hog. So everyone be quiet. I need to hear the distances.

[B]

Yeah. So Nathan hands Tessa the remote control thing, and she's like, wait a minute, but how do I do this? And so he's like, oh, Jesus, I can't do everything at one time. And so Max is trying to help Christian, and Kizzy is like, yeah, I don't think this is going well. Sandy's like, I need measurements. I need measurements. Why is nobody giving me cars? Where's the distances? What the hell's going on here? I need Nathan to be more concise and actually talk to me. But Nathan is trying to show people how to use remote controls and keep everybody from talking, and so there's no communication. It's getting super frustrating.

[A]

And then it's time for Tessa to throw the lines onto the dock. And then she's like, I don't want. I don't want to do it, because what if I throw it at lands in the piece? I just don't want to be. And they're like, three feet from it. And Nathan's like, oh, Jesus. So he throws the. The lines over, and Sandy's watching it all, and she's just like, this is a total show.

[B]

And Tessa's bring. Being super judgy about everything, but, like, you can't be on a deck team and not throw a rope. Like, you have to know how to. Like, you have to be able to throw a rope. That's kind of part of the job. So then everyone's watching. And then Da Vinci's like, oh, God, what are all these poor people staring at us for? It's like they've never seen a boat docking before. So get your own boat to stare at. Pause.

[A]

And then Max and. And Christian and Nathan, they're like, pulling this rope because they need to create tension, but they're, like, not doing a good job. They're losing tension. And. And Max like, oh, I'm trying to teach something to Christian. And you feel like there's nothing happening in that brain. The brain is, like, not even happening. And so it's just, like, everything is. They're just, like, all yelling at each other. So Nathan's telling them They've got to hurry up and everything. But, like, Max and Christian are still, like, being like. They just cannot figure out how to do this rope situation.

[B]

Yeah, it's not going well. And so they're fighting, and it's chaos, but they're done. They finally get it done right. So then it's Captain Sandy comes down, and the guys are just chilling. They're, like, sitting around, and she's like, you two, no sitting like that when I'm coming into a port. And Nathan's like, yeah, no talking. And she's like, yeah, pay attention to the boat, guys. You understand today's docking was complete chaos. Christian has no idea what he's doing. And Tessa, I don't know where she is because she doesn't talk. I mean, we look like amateurs, because we are. We are.

[A]

So now there's time to get into whites to say goodbye to the guests. And they line up, and Nathan is like. He's like. He tells the dead crew, like, okay, take your sunglasses off when you say goodbye. Which is funny because Sandy keeps her sunglasses on the entire time. And they. They go and they. The guests leave and say goodbye. And it's nice. They actually are, for being, like, as douchey as they are. They really were not that bad. Like, we've seen much douchier. Much worse. They were, by and large, okay. They were okay. They were mid. Mid to low pack, but they were, like, fine. They left. They thought it was the best time. And now it's time for the tip meeting. And while they're getting changed for the tip meeting in their cabin, Christian and Nathan are talking. And Christian's like, oh, you know da Vinci? I was watching some of his videos last night. It was really quite good. And so Nathan's like, oh, were you watching the videos when you were on night shift? Instead of bringing out the lines and the fenders, which we had to do in transit. And so Christian's like, yeah, we see.

[B]

A flashback to him watching bitcoin videos instead of doing his work well. Chris, four sausage fenders. And he's like, I'm sorry. I didn't see that. Yeah, two nights in a row, dude. So he's like, yeah, you gotta check. Nathan. Nathan, please come to the bridge. Have a seat. Here's what I need from you. The docking. I'm coming in. I can't see. I should technically be able to drive this boat from here just listening to you. Did Geraldine Ferraro play tennis? Please.

[A]

Is Geraldine Ferraro big in Ireland? Okay, who's bigger Enya or Geraldine Ferraro.

[B]

What was the name of the tennis lady that she loved that came?

[A]

Gigi Fernandez. Gigi Fernandez, who was big, proudly, in the time. In the era of Geraldine Ferraro, Gigi Fernandez.

[B]

All right, you know, get it. Get it better. Okay. Okay. So then she's talking to Aisha. It's a tip meeting. So she gets everybody together, and she's like, okay, Aisha, I'm so happy you're back with me. She's like, thank you. Thank you so much.

[A]

Of course, the turnaround time, you had to get this interior in shape. You know, you really rallied your team, except for that one who still doesn't understand what a washing machine is. Okay, you put the clothing in and the detergent. Okay, back to this. So interior team, awesome job. In fact, I'm going to be so enthusiastic about the job you did just so that the deck team realizes how much they messed up when I'm very sad and terse about their performance.

[B]

Okay, now, you did great, clown person. You did great as well. Congratulations on getting through doing some juggling. Whatever you were doing, I loved it. Remember when that lady said eggs on eggs? That was hilarious. Okay, great job. So, Nathan, you're mediocre. That was great. You know, we'll figure it out. He's like, damage the nav light. She goes, you learned your lesson, didn't you? You paid attention. Okay, we'll get through this together. You know, nav lights are important. It's like I always tell anyone wanting to date Norma. I say, hope you've got a flashlight. Okay. It's different from a nav light, but still seems.

[A]

You know what, though? It's. It's like when. It's like what I tell a guy when he gets into bed with Norma. I say, lights off. You don't want that. If you've got a jet ski, make sure you're ramming into every light in that bedroom. Am I right? Okay.

[B]

It's no walk in the park if you ain't in the dark. So. Okay, now for the tip money. €30,000. Can you believe it? That's 20. That's €2,727 each. Minus 1. 7. We'd have 2 to 7. Okay. Which was a great sitcom. So we're just gonna keep going up. Let's turn the boat around. Turn the boat around. Something, something passion. Enjoy your evening. I'm done with you. I'm gonna be watching Netflix in my room.

[A]

Okay, I just want to say your tip portion is 27. 27. But if everyone is willing to take a €10 deduction, we can put that money towards a Save Nathan's hair fund and we can get a proper haircut and see Jess Noki. Just think about it. Just think about everyone.

[B]

So everybody cleans, cleans, cleans. V has mastered putting on a duvet, but she still hates it. I've not mastered putting on a duvet. I've. My newest turn, my newest try is to hold the edges of the duvet with my fingers and then cover myself in the entire duvet cover like a ghost, and then tie them from the inside and then squeeze myself out of there and try and figure it out that way. And it's kind of.

[A]

You don't do the burrito. You don't do the burrito.

[B]

You've tried to teach me that, and it just doesn't. I can't do it.

[A]

It's fun. It's a challenge.

[B]

It is.

[A]

I have an issue. I have an issue in that I used to have a duvet and a duvet cover, and it was always great. But my current duvet and duvet cover is a situation where, like, the duvet starts to, like, gather at the bottom of the bed. And I hate that. And I don't know. I don't know how you need the ties.

[B]

They have to tie to the corners.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I don't have the ones that, you know. Without the ties, you're fucked. So anyway, Max is like, can you put the hose on the sound deck brawl? And he's a bro. That hose was under the Jacuzzi. No, it was actually here. No, but I put it there. Okay, how can you put back the covers and the hose? Where's the hose? Let's find them out.

[A]

The hose.

[B]

Hose. Covers. No, hose.

[A]

Hose. No, no, I put the hose back. Don't do that. Don't talk to me that way. No, no, you can't do that to me. Okay, you know what? Like, I'm getting really mad now. I'm really mad. Just make up your mind. I mean, who the hell is this guy? I'm gonna keep coming at me. I'm Colombian, okay? You don't want to mess with me. Yeah. You don't really don't want to mess with me. Otherwise, my girlfriend from when I was 16 is gonna come and beat you up.

[B]

Alicia is gonna kill you or Alejandra. So Max is like, this guy does not respect me, okay? I'm more local than you, okay? I'm just going to be David and he's going to be Goliath. Okay. You know how the end of this story turns out? No.

[A]

He's, like, really pushing my buttons. Like, honestly, you're pushing my buttons. Oh, push the buttons. Push the buttons. Okay. Push the buttons.

[B]

Push my button. Push it.

[A]

You don't even know. You don't even know me. I don't know why, but I'm, like, oddly on Christian's side. They're both idiots. They're both not very good. But. And Christian is definitely suck.

[B]

But Max being a jerk just to be a jerk.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I just. I don't know if I can be on the side of the person who, like, voluntarily, like, touched a jellyfish and then, like, touched his eye. I. So I think I'm on Christian's side on this one.

[B]

Yeah. I'm choosing no sides on this one, but it's fun. I'm team Tessa. I just want to watch Tessa slowly break as the season goes on.

[A]

I'm really excited for her journey.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

All right, well, that's. That's it for today. Thank you all for being here. Super fun.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And we'll catch you on the next episode.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

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