← Watch What Crappens
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- [00:01]
A
Audible's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.
- [00:05]
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When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down unless you want to be. Here's your invitation to have it all.
- [00:11]
A
Fancy a dalliance with a duke or perhaps a sexy billionaire? Find a book boyfriend in the city and another on the hockey field. Or if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.
- [00:24]
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Hear modern rom coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood. The latest romantasy series from Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Young. Arrows and Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander. Plus all the really steamy stuff.
- [00:38]
A
Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com crappins that's audible.com crappins. Watch what happen.
- [00:54]
B
Watch what Crappins. Who cares what happens when there's so much of crappin? Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Hi, everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
- [01:22]
A
So now everybody's getting up and going to take a break, and Andy's like, well, I didn't see that coming. And Stephanie's like, no, no, she's such a snake. But I'm not sure who she's talking about. Which one she talking about is the snake? Her sister?
- [01:38]
B
She just felt like bringing it up.
- [01:39]
A
Yeah, pathological. Pathological Adriana. Well, I feel horrible, but it was not me. I was not me. So now she's following Andy out and she's standing. She's with what? She's walking with Lexi and she's just pestering Andy. Andy just wants to pee. You know what I mean? I can't believe Andy's already scrolling on his phone. He does not want to listen to this shit. Just leave him alone. But she's following and she's like, oh, Andy, I feel horrible. I was not me for four years. I couldn't speak the truth. I never betrayed Adriana with my friendship with Alexia. Do you see? I tried. I tried. Did you sleep together more than once? Well, no. We slept together once and fooled around in the Versace Mansions, so we did that too.
- [02:20]
B
Oh, is that like when you were really drunk at the Hamptons that you were, like, vomiting? Is that. No, it wasn't that. It's like, oh, The Versace mansion at her bachelorette. And so we see flashbacks of how they woke up, like, they got drunk, and then they woke up in the morning and, like, Adriana had, like, vodka in the bed and everything like that. So Alex is like, oh, you know what? I can get it at the Versace mention. Like, that's kind of hot. Like, I can see that really happening. Like, you know what I love? Like, you know what turns me on? Like, going to, like, a rococo mansion where someone got murdered. I'm like, oh, yeah, do me. You know, I wish Todd would do that to me. So Julia's like, we had one night stand. I didn't say it to spread gossip. It had to be known. I never, never betrayed Adriana. I still love her, even though she's abusive and she is mean and malicious and blackmails me, but I love her, you know, I am not bad guy.
- [03:08]
A
Like, yeah, but she didn't. She didn't think you were going to go there, though. She is just trying to say, I never betrayed Adriana. What do you think this was? So is Martina going to be upset? She's like, martina knows. And I told her, and she told me, julia, why are you going to say it? And I said, darling, because I have to say the truth four years later. Because I can't lie. I cannot pretend. Please.
- [03:33]
B
So Adriana. Adriana has some big news, which is that she goes into her dressing room and she's like, bosky, you would not even believe it. You're going to have a new godmother because your old godmother's no good. It's official. Baski's back on the market for godmothers.
- [03:50]
A
Did you have an affair with a Haitian mortician? Oh, two BT tbd A fair no, but dy. Dy, dy. Maybe. Maybe, Andy, maybe.
- [04:02]
B
So Adriana takes Basat over to Lisa, and she's like, guys, can you believe. Did you see that show? Did you see it? And Jody's like, I didn't. I only saw. You know that. What is that? I know. I only saw. Okay, I don't understand. But you know what? She knows that now. Can you believe. Can you believe I made her the godfather of my dog? Can you believe it?
- [04:24]
A
Oh, my God. Basquiat is literally shaking. He's shaking and he is. They're like wine. They make a little wine for Basquiat. So then we go over to Julia and Alexia and Kiki, and Kiki's like, oh, my God, I'm shaking you. You, my friend. Like, it's A lot. It's a lot. Yeah. I can't take it anymore. For years, she was holding it over my head. One wrong move and you're not gonna like it. I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. So then back to Lisa. She's like, oh, my God. So now everybody's just basically trying to figure out what they did. They're like, did you scissor? And she's like, what is a scissor? She's like, like this. Like this. She's like doing the finger motions.
- [05:03]
B
No, she's like, never.
- [05:04]
A
No, no, I don't like that. I don't like that. And if I was into that, I would say it. I would say, I don't care.
- [05:11]
B
We were in the same bed, maybe one night. She was the one trying to come at me. And Alexia is like, so like. Like all I know is like, did you, like, eat her out or did she eat you out? Like, this is a question for Ben Mandelker. Like, I don't know, like, what women do, but, like, do women do that? Like you're eating out, you know, like. Cuz she says, like, all you do is kiss. And Kiki's like, oh, yeah, okay, I. I know how it goes because I watch a lot of porn. She like, just demonstrate, like, no, Kiki, no. So Kiki's like, yeah, they do that. Julia, of course I respect Adriana. And he's like, too much of intimate details that are. I'm not going to get into. I've decided to draw boundary out of nowhere.
- [05:48]
A
Oh, okay. Now you have respect for details and secrets. I see. So no. The answer is no. Okay, well, that's fair. But do you call it sex? Whatever you did with her and she and Kiki's like, what was it? Tell me what happened.
- [06:03]
B
Kiss our finger. Kiss our finger. Kiss our finger.
- [06:08]
A
We were intimate. I won't tell you what because you can call me a liar, so I'm not going to tell you, but we were intimate in general.
- [06:15]
B
Finger. Finger. It was finger. At least that's what my brain was saying. So she's bas. So now we go to Gertie's dressing room and she's talking to. To Russell. She's like, well, you heard the chaos out there that she was. I mean, another lie. Another. Another, you know, like you, like, you and you and you and I banged and whatever and like that and like, where's my coffee machine? Okay, I deserve a coffee machine too. She's like, yeah, well, there's. There's a Pattern. Yeah, but why? But why? She's the only one telling on herself right now? Because she. Because she thought that, I guess, Adriana was going to use it today against her. So she was like, I'm going to beat her to it. And, like, let me declare what? That we slept together. But first of all, Adriana is single, as single as can be. So what is the issue? That's on you. You're married. She does not take. She doesn't take vows. Seriously. Not engage later. This woman doesn't know what that is. She doesn't know the concept of loyalty.
- [07:01]
A
So then we go to Larza and Stephanie, and Lars is like, oh, my God. Like, I feel like. Like, we can't, like, top the Haitian mortician. Like, Stephanie's like, no, that was amazing. She goes. And Larza says that she thinks Adriana everything up. And Stephanie's like, no, Julian's a nymph. Are you kidding me? Like, come on. I've known the woman for five minutes. She's an info.
- [07:24]
B
Yeah. No, she's not. Like, yes, she is. Okay? And let me tell you something. I'm a woman who works with a lot of men, so I understand a thing or two about nymphos. That doesn't even make sense. I think sometimes when you're, like, not in a good place, right? Like, do you guys understand, like, when you're not, like, in a good place? Like. Like, sometimes you might, like, want to cheat on someone. Like, I mean, like, I would never do that. Jeff Kobe, like, never. Like, just, like, she went through a bad situation and, like, a bad time and her spouse. And sometimes, like, I don't know, it's like, it's hard. It's easy to slip up and fall. Like, I wouldn't know if it's experience. Jeff Kobe. But, like, I'm just saying, like, yeah, he's like, great.
- [07:55]
A
Can't wait to marry you in a month. So Lisa is feeling bad for Martina, and Adriana is like, oh, that girl doesn't appreciate anybody. She uses people. And then she goes on to the next. Who is Yulia? Who is Julia? She's an opportunist. So then we go to Julia and she's like, I said, adriana, why did you bring me to this group to be your puppet? And then back to Adriana, she's like, now they're rehearsing. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. They are rehearsing from day one.
- [08:26]
B
It was ruse. Alexi and Barisol are besties. You and I are going to be besties. And most important, like, if you want to get close, it was like a no, you cannot. You cannot get close to Alexi and beaus. And Adriana barges in. Oh. Oh, hello, former godmother of Basky. Are you guys rehearsing your answers now? Is that what you're doing? You're rehearsing your answers? Like, no, we were just listening. Still trying to figure out was it, like, fingering or was it eating out? Like, it's a lot of, like, process. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. Mar's like, oh, God, Adriana. Oh, too much. Like, oh. Oh, yeah. More lies, more lies. You are such a fool. I would have kept your secret to the grave. And when I told you I'm going to break the fourth wall, it wasn't about any of that.
- [09:08]
A
I don't like people blackmailing me. I did not blackmail you, fraud mother. You did, many times. No, I did not. You were holding it on my head. No, you are married. You're married and you're going around kissing everybody. Okay, but I like to have fun, so sorry. Girls just like to have fun. What you want from me? Oh, she's kissing everybody. The problem. You're an imposter. I don't even know who patted my pussy.
- [09:33]
B
Adriana, you said, if you ever, ever, ever go to defend Marisol, ok, I'm going to take you down with me. That were your words, by the way. What's the funny thing here is. Is it was Adriana talking about taking her down by mentioning their. Their makeout session or the Haitian mortician session. And the point is that, right, Julia has. The fact that Julia has options on how she could be blackmailed is not a great thing. I have to say.
- [09:58]
A
Multiple. She has multiple options. Those were your words. You're going to take me down with you? And she goes, no, you were supposed to be on my side. What are you talking about? So I like that. This is what was cracking me up, that Adriana's like, I wasn't blackmailing you. I was telling you, you better be on my side, because if I go down, you're coming down with me. Like, what's the problem with that?
- [10:20]
B
That's what friends do for each other, right? They just bully them into taking a position. You're supposed to be their side. I'm on the side of justice. What is supposed to mean justice? Wait, what? Justice for whom? For what? Like, I think justice for Martina, who's like, where did our coffee machine go? So Adrian Is like, justice. You're cheater.
- [10:40]
A
She's having to use the French press at home. Cut to Martina just teaching the boys how to use a French press.
- [10:46]
B
Well, kids, we were robbed one day and Mr. Coffee left. And now we have to do this 15 minute Chemex drip every day. Get used to it.
- [10:58]
A
Okay, so now it's 10 minutes until we return to the set. And Stephanie's talking about how she got her boobs done. And so Kiki grabs her boobs, and she's like, I didn't say touch them. She goes, oh, well, first of all, I'm not Julia, okay? And so they start cracking up. So then we go to Alexia, Marisol, and Alexia's like, oh, my God, I'm dying to get back out there. Like, I just don't think I've been that excited for a reunion to come back out. Like, I can't wait to hear the rest of the story.
- [11:24]
B
Oh, my God. Bros. Great. I mean, Alexia has to admit it. Oh, she's not going to. I mean, she has to admit that she did this. Like. Oh, she's never gonna admit it. Like, I just don't know. Like. Well, like, who did it? I just want to know, like, who did what to whom. And, like, was there eating out? Was a fingering, and I want to know, was there fingering and eating out? Were they actually eating out takeout food? Like, I really want to know all these things.
- [11:40]
A
Okay, so we go back to the set. And we're back. I want to go back to the bomb that Julian just dropped before we broke. Adriana. Just for clarification, do you make your coffee at home or do you order it in?
- [11:57]
B
And did you mess around in the Hamptons? I don't know why I'm asking this question again, because we talked about it for the past 20 minutes. But let's ask the question again. She's. Okay, since we're going to go back to back. The first time I slept, I. I mean, I. That I met Julia.
- [12:11]
A
She was gonna say slept. She was gonna say slept.
- [12:14]
B
It. It was at lunch. It was a lot.
- [12:17]
A
Did you mess around in the Hamptons? That's all I want to know. I don't need to know what you had at lunch.
- [12:22]
B
No, no, but. But I have to say this. The first time we. We were having brunch, she comes in and she tells me, you look like Snow White. You're so pretty. I saw you at the end of the table. You look like Snow White. And then she starts, you know, proceed. She. She's like, talking about my boobs. So she. So she proceeds to invite me to the bathroom, and I go to the bathroom to show her my boobs because she wanted to see my boobs and how good they were. It's like, oh, so you were like, so. Oh, so you're just gonna show them to her? Oh, yeah.
- [12:53]
A
You're gonna show her your boobs? Yeah. That's what you did. You showed her your boobs. I'm like, she's nodding her head furiously. Like, her micro nods, like, oh, yeah. So it's proved it. Adrian is the bad guy. She showed her boobs.
- [13:05]
B
I mean, what she didn't do in front of Frankie. In front of Frankie.
- [13:10]
A
That's the one thing you should have done in front of Frankie. Like, you would have loved that. He would have loved it. How could you not show your boobs in front of Frankie?
- [13:17]
B
It's like, adriana Mia Moore, please put those away. So Julia's like, well, yes.
- [13:23]
A
And.
- [13:24]
B
And like. And then you showed to the whole world. And then Adriana saying, like, she showed me her butt. Like, this is like, somehow Kiki is like, okay.
- [13:39]
A
So she goes, I've just met this girl, and Julie is like, you complimented my butt, so I showed you my butt. Okay, so to me, now I see this pattern. So it was in her mind. She developed a crush on me, and right away. And she was in her seducing mode that she's always been in. Okay, so you're saying she seduced you.
- [13:56]
B
So now Adriana is like, like, just as. To me. Just as. As. It's ridiculous for Julia to be like, she took advantage of me while I was being vulnerable. But now Adriana is also going to do the like, I have no role in this thing, which is like, I was seduced. I was. She called me Snow White. What are you supposed to do after that? You can't help. You can't help. But. But to go into an affair with a woman after you've been called Snow White.
- [14:18]
A
I think that she's saying Julia is acting like I came in there and took her when she was at her darkest moment and did all this mean stuff to her and, like, you know her into this affair to use against her and all of that. In fact, she's been after me the whole time. I was never trying to do anything with this girl. She came up to me at some lunch and was, like, asking me to show her my boobs. Like, please. So I think her point is.
- [14:43]
B
Okay, that's a fair point. That's a good point. I like that. I like that. It's a good theory.
- [14:47]
A
Adriana says everything. He's like, I'm not asking for a Snow White story. All right? Did you put your finger in the tinger? Did you? Yes or no?
- [14:57]
B
So Andy's like. She's like, well, she petted me. She patted me like, oh, are you an animal now? You're like an animal that shows your boobs. Like, you're like an animal. Like a slut animal at a zoo that you're like, show me your boobs. The animal shows you. It's like New Orleans Zoo.
- [15:10]
A
Wait, was it like a finger in the hole? Like this? And she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this. Like it petted. She petted it. She petted it. She petted the. She petted the. Oh, okay. So she petted your. Okay. And Lisa's like. She went like this. She petted it.
- [15:26]
B
No, sis. Rick. None of that. I don't even know what. What her private parts look like. So did I have this lesbian affair that she's accusing me of? Okay, Julia, I want to make it clear. What was your motivation in sharing that story other than making me laugh for many, many hours later tonight? I said it because I felt muzzled and I felt scared when what happened in the Hamptons between Edina and I, shortly after, she asked me, will you leave Martina for me? And then added, what a storyline. I thought, oh, my God, what a storyline it would make. And that made me really scared and started doubting the intentions of our friendship.
- [16:04]
A
I do not believe you, ma'. Am. Okay. I believe that Adriana might have said, oh, my God. What, are you gonna leave me now? Leave Martina for me? That would be hilarious, this story. But I don't think she was really like, yeah, I want to be with you, Julia. Leave Martina.
- [16:18]
B
I can see it as a joke. This one's a little bit of a push for me because I. I largely am agree with you. I. I do feel like, yeah, Adriana probably said it as a joke. Like, oh, my God, that would be a storyline. But I don't know. This is one that I. I can't quite tell where the truth is on this one, because also, Adrian, I. I would not put it past Adriana to be like, this is my way to get back on the show. So.
- [16:40]
A
But Adriana doesn't want to be a poor person, and Julia would be poor, wouldn't she?
- [16:47]
B
I don't think so. I mean, I think that. I think Adriana. It's not so much about the poor person. Is that Adriana? It would keep Adriana relevant. Like, Adriana is a. She is a real housewife. She. She's a friend of. But she's a real housewife. And she's like, she's always gonna. She always finds the storyline. She always finds a way to stay in the season.
- [17:07]
A
Yeah. Okay, so.
- [17:09]
B
But I think largely, you're right. I think largely, like, my needle is a bit more onto your theory, but it's not. Like, it's not a. It's not a black and white situation for me.
- [17:18]
A
I'm sorry. Adriana's like, when we were in Spain in that little room with Mary Sol and Alexia. Actually, it was a big room. It was a suite.
- [17:26]
B
Okay, Adriana. I mean, Alexia, like, clarifying the most important part. It was a big room.
- [17:34]
A
I had a suite.
- [17:35]
B
It was a suite.
- [17:37]
A
Well, they were drinking.
- [17:38]
B
Obligated to say that for the Ramada.
- [17:39]
A
We were sorry. They were drinking until the wee hours. So we go down the elevator, and Julia asked me to stop at a room. So when we got there, she pins me against the wall like this and comes at me, towering over me, towering Andy, and says, spend the night with me. And girl is like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like.
- [17:59]
B
And she tried to kiss me, and I said, no. And then she grabbed the coffee machine from hotel room and said, take this. And I said, no, it's late. We better not go there. And I walked. I went back to my room, and she was trying to fuck me in Spain.
- [18:14]
A
But, you know, because you already fucked before, right? Because, like, why would she say that if you hadn't done it before?
- [18:19]
B
So the logic, everyone's logic is amazing. It's like, so, like, you know, like, you know, that was like the seduction phase because you were seduced before, like, you already fucked. That was the preface. Like, you knew it because you already had face.
- [18:31]
A
So did Martina know about that? That she's trying to seduce me in Spain? This is such a lie. I was avoiding you. No, it's not a lie. I swear on my son's life. I'm willing to drop dead right now.
- [18:45]
B
This is. This is really bad. Do not swear like this on your son, because that is.
- [18:49]
A
That's a sin.
- [18:50]
B
You cannot do that. Like, if you did not put. Like, if you did not put against the wall and try to kiss me in Sevilla, like.
- [18:57]
A
All right, all right, all right, all right.
- [18:59]
B
Okay, here's the deal. What's interesting is that when I spoke to Adriana before we came out tonight, she was very hopeful that the two of you could reconcile and. Well, me saying that. I'm not saying that I hate her. I just mean that she.
- [19:13]
A
Liar.
- [19:14]
B
She's sinning just now and abusive and blackmailer, but do not hate her.
- [19:18]
A
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So Julia's like, I was crying before this. They show the clips of her crying over all the mean comments that she got it. And she's like, I miss Adriana. And Adriana's like, you missed the friendship or you miss. My.
- [19:44]
B
God, oh, God.
- [19:47]
A
Like, you miss my sweet little. I want to know, were you genuine with me? Do you like me for. For who I am as your friend, or was it all for storyline? Excuse me. I give you my heart. Yeah. Julia, Adriana's not the one that turned on you. You can't, like, reframe the whole season that Adriana turned on you. That's not what happened. You completely blew her off the entire season, and she was fairly nice about it until the very end. And she only wasn't because you tried to make this huge storyline about. She skipped your opera thing, which was so important to you. You tried coming for her when you told her the day before that you had an opera thing and knew that she had a rehearsal with 12 other of Emilio Estefan's people. Like, you are such a shady liar. I. I can't believe this chick.
- [20:31]
B
Well, also, it's like she kept on, like, anytime Adriana would. Would be like, you are growing distant from me. Julia would be like, no, I love you. Like, you know, she sort of was. She didn't seem to. It wasn't gaslighting, but she was sort of. Didn't seem to acknowledge that she was drifting away, and that was, like, actually kind of cruel. So, like, even if she did drift away for reasons that make sense in my mind of, like, that there was, like, residual psychological feelings about whatever thing happened, etc, and even if. Even if it's that she drifted away because she's a serial cheater, and even if she doesn't have guilt, the fact that Adriana's threatened to expose it, she's like, well, I want to get away from this person who's gonna, like, like, expose my crafted facade, whatever the reason is the fact that Julia would act to Adriana like, no, I haven't been drifting. I. I'm still your friend. It's like, stop bullshitting, you know?
- [21:24]
A
Yeah. So now we come to Adriana's gift. She brings her a wooden box, and Marisol's like, oh, God, the court. Just. So she brings it over, and Andy's like, is it from Marisol's liver? And in the box is the red mold of a broken heart or something?
- [21:50]
B
And it's so funny, because before that, Adrian was like, I gave you my heart. I gave my heart. Oh, wait, hold on one second. Like, you know, I was like, oops, I gave the punchline away before the prop. But she. Yep. She literally gives her a heart. She's like, you literally ripped my heart. Because when we had that fight, I didn't eat for two days. I didn't sleep for two days because you were my Thelma and Louise, I was the car. And I loved you with all my heart. Okay? I loved you with all my heart. And now you can keep it.
- [22:19]
A
Marisol just kicks the box on the ground. It's like, whatever. Don't put that on my feet. Hey, that's a heart.
- [22:28]
B
Don't kick a hot. Like Bonnie Race says, have a heart.
- [22:32]
A
So silly. I wish it was a tiny Gwyneth Paltrow head. Look what you did to Gwyneth. She's done nothing but try to bring steamed salmon to the masses.
- [22:41]
B
Okay, what's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? So. So these. That now they. They take a break, whatever. And there's, like, lighting cues and stuff large, like, Adriana, close your legs. Like, close your leg. Like, oh, God. So they're all. They're sort of like resources setting for the next part. And Andy's like, okay, well, we are back with more of the Real Housewives of Miami reunion. After opening up about her painful childhood, Kiki not only forgave her dad, but actually leaned on him for support. So let's hear about Kiki's life.
- [23:13]
A
So bad for Kiki at this part, cuz, like, how are you going to follow all of this that just happened? It's like, Kiki's dad. It's like. So we see all the Kiki stuff with her dad, and she's talking about how her dad wants more kids. Like, because Andy's like, wow, you got shocked that you even had a brother that you didn't know about. She's like, yeah, you know, my dad wants more kids. And the thing is, like, he wants me to be the one to take care of the kids. And everyone's like, oh, Jesus, my God. So Lars is like, you know what? Like, I wish I could get back that time. Like, I had plans with my father to come. Oh, no, Lisa, I had plans with my dad to come back to Miami because he wanted to see the group. You know, like, we had plans. And so they talk about how it's important to have a relationship with your parents, no matter how crazy it gets over the years.
- [24:03]
B
And Kiki talks about the threats she got from her family members and how crazy it was. And they all thought that she was glamorous and a lot of money. And she's like, guys, I'm a friend of. I'm not a housewife. But Andy is like, her dad went back to Haiti, even though it was risky for him to do. So he went back and he told them basically all to shut the up. And so now Andy is asking if the women bonded with Kiki over these stories because they're all like, immigrants or children of immigrants. They're like, yeah, yeah, totally. And Julia says that, like, Kiki reminds her of her younger self, and they're all kind of like, you know, praising Kiki. Etc.
- [24:42]
A
Yeah. So then we go, she has a.
- [24:43]
B
New man in the Hamptons that she's going to be seeing. And Andy's like, okay, I.
- [24:48]
A
To want.
- [24:48]
B
Well, that was fun. And that's why we don't give story lines to the friends of. Okay, I want to switch gears. Sierra from Pittsburgh wants to know, Stephanie, you didn't take kindly to being called a Chihuahua. If not a chihuahua, what is your spirit animal? We will also accept tiny, loud bird and annoying animal that possibly has rabies.
- [25:10]
A
An Afghan hound. Yeah. Because they win Westminster shows and they have planes, so I'm into those dogs. Okay, well, Stephanie, Alexa fought a lot this year. Chaos was unleashed. Let's get to some clips.
- [25:24]
B
There is nothing about Stephanie that reminds me of an Afghan hound. Like, I'm sorry, that is not your spirit dog. You may aspire to be it, but, like, you know, this is Afghan hound, is not it?
- [25:36]
A
No, her spirit animal would be like, I don't know. We had a hamster as a kid that bit us a lot.
- [25:44]
B
Yeah. Like a. Or an angry rabbit. You know, you know, when a rabbit gets, like, cornered, it's like goes. You know, like, that's sort of her.
- [25:52]
A
I think she would be a hamster because hamsters love traveling around in big balls.
- [25:57]
B
They have big front teeth. She is always on a wheel. You know, they. And you know, like, the. The hamsters, like, it's like, you know what?
- [26:06]
A
I'm sorry.
- [26:07]
B
Like, I. I have to go onto my wheel. Like, that's what I do. Like, you guys. You guys have spent time and you guys have lunch. I go on a wheel. Like, that's like the rodent of going to work with.
- [26:15]
A
I just saw a little video of a five year old hamster, which I guess is really old for a hamster. And it was really old. And it was like, had all these skinny legs and it was just still getting on the wheel every day. I was like, oh, yeah, here I am, going to get on the wheel. Another day, another turnaround. This wheel.
- [26:32]
B
Hamsters are so funny. I think it's the only animal on earth that like voluntarily just loves cardio. Like, gotta get my steps in. Gotta, gotta do it. Gotta get back on the wheel. I actually love it. I actually love doing this.
- [26:47]
A
Yeah. I've always been so jealous of hamster poop that they're just like little pellets. They're like, ah, here's my pellet. Sweep it up. It's no big deal, you know? Yeah.
- [26:56]
B
Hamsters have a sort of a quirky life as pets go. Hamsters live one of the quirkiest lives. Those balls, people build them right on.
- [27:04]
A
The tubes all over the house and stuff.
- [27:08]
B
Life that they have.
- [27:09]
A
Yeah. Okay, well, did you, Larsa, you brought Stephanie into this group? Did you expect Lexi and Stephanie to butt heads like this? So we go into this and Lexi's like, you know what? We weren't expecting it from Stephanie. Honestly. Like, I just started seeing like the whole group dynamic and like she was putting so much effort into the other ladies and I was like, hello. Like, why is it with me? Like, she's got to reprimand me or say something mean or like, attack me, you know? So like, if you keep on poking the bear, you know, I'm gonna react to it.
- [27:39]
B
It's like, oh, that's not true. That's not true. Oh, no, it's true if you can see it. Like. Okay, well, your first interaction with her was to call her husband garbage. Okay, let me explain, because I had, you know, because I had gone to the happy hour before and they were talking about Marisol and Larsa and they've been talking about Todd. And then we see like footage of them basically saying like that Todd's like garbage. And so I heard all these things about Todd. So when I met her, my intentions were really just to say he's garbage and you're garbage for marrying him in the first place. And if you go back to him, you're actually like a big, A bigger bag of garbage than the first bag of garbage. I thought you were. That's all I was trying to say. And Like, I think you just took it the wrong way, and I should have used kinder words, but, like, that's. That's really all I meant by it. And.
- [28:16]
A
Yeah, you got sensitive. She's like, no, no, no. It's not because I got sensitive. That was insensitive thing to say. So it's. I'm not insensitive. You're insensitive. Just like, okay, well, I apologize, okay? Because anybody would react like that. Okay. Do you see why she came in that way? No, I don't see why she came in that way. Okay, well, if, you know, if she had just been at a thing and she was hearing. No, no, the Happy Hour happened after that, so. That's not true. That's not true. What she said. The happy hour was later. And she's like, no, the Happy hour was filmed, and it was right before this event. That's when they invited me to this event. She's like, oh.
- [28:53]
B
Okay.
- [28:54]
A
Like, when Alexia gets called out on being wrong and she does not.
- [28:57]
B
She's like, well, you didn't even say hi to me. You didn't even, you know, like, you came in. You didn't even say hi. And I respect.
- [29:02]
A
Like that.
- [29:02]
B
Like, you didn't even say hello. And then for that show footage of Stephanie walking and be like, hi, I'm sorry I missed you last night. Hello.
- [29:13]
A
Hello to you, Alexia. Guys, I've got something in my purse for you. It's a hello. You didn't say hello to me.
- [29:22]
B
You know what, Alexia? It's so funny that you're here right now, because I was just practicing the Beauty and the Beast song. Hello. Bonjour. Good morning. It's like saying hello in many different ways. Lex is like, no, you never said it. Never said hello, ever. Hello.
- [29:37]
A
Is it me you're looking for? Because I see it in your eyes. Okay, you know, you can stop the clip now. I get the point. Okay.
- [29:43]
B
Hello from the other side. And the other side, of course, is a private plane.
- [29:50]
A
So Alexia is like, well, in that moment when she said garbage, you know, Like, I didn't address it in the moment because I was on a high road.
- [29:57]
B
And.
- [29:57]
A
And he's like, okay, well, Adriana thinks Alexi was threatened by Stephanie because she was younger and wealthier and she was. Oh, my God, Alexia, That's. That's Adriana's storyline every season saying that I'm jealous of young people.
- [30:10]
B
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [30:15]
A
That. That me and Mary Soul Are jealous of newer, younger, richer girls. Yeah, yeah.
- [30:23]
B
New plot, babe. Okay, okay, okay. Does anyone here besides Adriana feel that Alexia was intimidated by her youth and wealth? Absolutely. Absolutely. Amen.
- [30:36]
A
Yep. Well. Yep.
- [30:37]
B
Look, we rallied for Stephanie, okay? We brought her into this group. We encouraged her to come. Like, she had a lot of hesitation. Yeah. Because her biggest hesitation was Adriana over there.
- [30:47]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, that one right there. That's why she was hesitating. And Stephanie's like, wait, wait. My biggest hesitation was Adri up Because you guys told me. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't try. Don't try to pot on us, okay?
- [31:01]
B
Stephanie, you said that. Like, you said that lies. Like, no. And I told her about that. The clip state that I'd seen online. She read a poem about your liver. Okay? And we see a flashback deliver. And she was always showing her tits. That is the reason why I didn't want to be by someone who's always showing her tits. Okay? Like, I heard that if you can't even call her Snow White without her showing you her tits. Tits. Okay, so you. Plus, like, the two of you made me think that Adrian is the worst. And you know what? She's actually been the best. She never even showed me her tits. I can say it's no light all day long, she doesn't show me your tits. I love her. Okay? So I don't know what to say.
- [31:34]
A
Okay, moving on. On the way to Spain, Stephanie said the Chihuahua comment was an example of how Alexia talks down to women. And Alexi is like, oh, my God, what a dumb woman thing to say. That's, like, so dumb.
- [31:48]
B
Ladies, do you agree with Stephanie? Does Alexia talk down to women? Yes, all the time.
- [31:54]
A
Andy, Kurt is cracking me up at this reunion. Yes, absolutely. Monster. Monster of a person.
- [32:03]
B
I actually. I actually talk down to men, not to women. And if you were menu, you would have realized that.
- [32:07]
A
Sorry, we've never seen that. We've never seen you do that. Alexis. You accused Stephanie of dangling her plane as a carrot. Okay, so let me. So Stephanie's like, okay, well, let me explain, okay? When I was a little girl, there was a date, and it was called show and Tell Day. And we would show up on Friday, and we would take our toys and we would show and tell. And I was excited about it, and I'm super excited about my friend's toys, and they were super excited about my toy. So I grew up thinking the show, you know, like, show and tells. Awesome. So, like, I loved it.
- [32:39]
B
Thank you for the backstory and the education on what show and tell us if you're trying to tie this into some sort of childhood, like, thing that you've got going on. You're failing already, but I'm. I'm still gonna hear you out.
- [32:51]
A
She's like, yeah, you know, like, most of my friends are happy for me, but, you know, then I realized not everyone's super happy because, like, if I have a plane and my friend has a plane, and I'm like, look at my plane. My friend's like, that's cool. Look at my plane. But if you're talking to somebody without a plane, people don't like it. They get upset because you have a plane and they don't have his.
- [33:10]
B
Right. She's such an. I think it's. This is, like, the most hilarious explanation. I don't think she's wrong, actually. But also, like, why are you not calibrating? I think this is where the gap is. You know that if you start yapping about your plane to these women who do not have planes, they're going to think that you're showing off. So why don't you just not yap about it to them? It's called, like, understanding the room. Read the room, girl. Girl.
- [33:37]
A
Yeah. But also, yeah, she had a plane. At first, you know, they're like, oh, my God, it's so fabulous. She has a plane this and that. It's when she starts lording it over their heads and threatening them, Threatening to leave them places and stuff like that, and telling them, you can go on.
- [33:54]
B
How they can go on, why they can go on, like. Like an American idol audition process to get on it. Like, that's really the issue. And I actually almost wish that Andy had actually drilled a little deeper on that because he kind of, like, let that go. So Andy's like, well, in your defense, this is a show that is, you know, leans into wealth and accumulation. So that's my way of saying, can I go on your plane? Can I? Okay, what do you think? What do you think?
- [34:18]
A
Oh, sorry. And then I'll answer you. Okay, you can go ahead before I talk over you. Okay.
- [34:23]
B
Are you just talking down to me the way you talk down to women right now?
- [34:27]
A
I'm sorry. But you know what? You have some boobies right now. So that's it. You know what? Like, for her, like, the plane is validation, and she identifies with the plane. You know what I mean? Like, one time I told her, are you ready to go? And she was like, hold on. Wheels down in, like, five minutes. I was like, are you a plane? Yeah. She identifies as. She's plain sexual, you know, So I guess that means she says other planes. Have you ever scissored a plane? That's my question, you guys.
- [34:54]
B
I'm not plain sexual. I just, you know, it's just like show and tell. I also just want to remind everyone here at the reunion that the exits are both on the side of the soundstage and in front of the. And please remember to help yourself before you help anyone else on the couch. Thank you very much. But I really. I'm not really obsessed with my plane.
- [35:12]
A
Yeah. And you know what? Even I had this conversation with Gertie and that Gertie, like, you even said when we spoke on the phone that Stephanie came in, you know, with all this wealth, and the girls just wanted to automatically be friends. And Gertie's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, Gertie wants to chime in, but first Kiki chimes in.
- [35:30]
B
This. Made this. I had a hard time following this. She goes, well, I guess in that sense, we can be clear with the group, because I always say this. I see a lot of people running with the narrative, like, oh, they're all racist. They're all racist. And we are like, we are racist. Is it classism issues where everybody's like. Like, this one has more money, but, like, maybe I lean into this one, and I've said this before, but racist? I don't think so. And I just wanted to make sure that with all of these backfire, like, we're getting online that, like, I don't think anybody. You ladies are, including myself, are racist. I'm. I'm a little confused, Ronnie, because we were like. One second we're talking about, like, the plane, and I didn't really understand where Kiki's racist thing was coming in from. Like, she's saying.
- [36:11]
A
First, she's bringing it from the last episode where she's like, we're not racist. They were saying that everybody's calling them racist online because of the Gertie stuff. And Gertie didn't stop to help them, you know, and say that they're not racist. So she's still on that, but I think all she's trying to say is, we're not racist in this group. We're classist. So. So if people think it's racism, it's not that. It's classism. And everyone just kind of looks at her like, babe, that was like, an hour ago, you know?
- [36:40]
B
Yeah.
- [36:40]
A
And so Gertie's like, No, I want to chime in because when I spoke to you about that, that was in the context of me saying, damn, I didn't do anything to anybody and I'm being treated like a piece of crap. But she has a plane and she curses you out from here to Timbuktu. And you're like, yeah, you're just kidding. Oh, okay. Yeah, girl, you know that'. I brought it up.
- [36:58]
B
Which is a really good point I'd like to add. Oh, well, we haven't been saying that.
- [37:03]
A
I mean, Alexia twists it. She's like, oh, my God, even Gertie told me on the phone, this girl's always leading with her money. Come on, Twister.
- [37:10]
B
You know, like, I. But we haven't been saying that, Gertie. I mean, like, that's such a woman thing to say. So Gertie's like, well, she gets a lot of grace, and all of a sudden, Gerd is rude. Gerdy's. Gertie's rude. Okay, well, me, meanwhile, we're the only ones that didn't ride on it. But you did.
- [37:24]
A
Okay.
- [37:25]
B
It was.
- [37:25]
A
Was.
- [37:25]
B
That felt like a relevant point to something, wasn't it? Can someone validate me? Okay.
- [37:29]
A
No.
- [37:30]
B
Very good. Okay, Glenn. Jersey for Mike's. Glenda likes Jersey for Mike's. Little Known Facts about Wicked.
- [37:42]
A
Asks.
- [37:43]
B
Hey, I saw Todd's IG post about an unnamed reality TV woman flexing with her private jet and flaunting her Birkins. I was wondering who she. He could be talking about. Stephanie, what was your reaction to Todd's post?
- [37:57]
A
Oh, she's like, my reaction is that Todd's a weirdo. Okay. He's cheesy. Okay. Alexia, you agree that you and Stephanie are actually a lot alike? Yeah, but I think, like, we have to give each other a chance. Yeah. I think they share a lot in common. Kiki. And she's like, yeah. You know, like, even though we're bickering, but, like, we still like each other, you know? But then we got along, but then I didn't go on our plane. And then she got mad again. But, you know, like, it'll be okay. And Stephanie's like, you know, it's clear to me that Alexia's very genuinely kind. You know, I just have to speak to a way that you speak to poor people because they get offended very, very easily. You know, And I don't want another chicken wing thrown at my head. So I decided. Alexia, here's $100.
- [38:46]
B
Thank you, Alexia. You're just more sensitive than I am. It's not a bad thing. It's just that, like, when you spend a lot of time up in higher altitudes in plane, you sometimes, like, lose the brain cells that make you sensitive. So I'm just. The way I'm. The reason why I'm like, that is only because I spent more time on private planes, Andy. And that's it. It's not a good thing or a bad thing.
- [39:05]
A
One thing rich people learn is to not make fun of poor people to their faces. So I'm gonna try and do better. So now they. Andy wants them all to beat their chests like her and be like, I'm Alexia. So they. They all do it, except Gertie. Gertie's like, hmm, that's cute. That's cute. So then now we get questions about Jeff Kobe. So Larsa tells us he's 31, and Gertie goes, let us pray. Let us pray.
- [39:33]
B
When she said that, Gertie's saying, let us pray. I think he wants, like, kids. Like, we kind of go back and forth about kids and, like, and stuff. Okay, well, Jeff is in the world of basketball. Do he and Marcus know each other? No. Like, Lisa, do you follow Jeff on Instagram?
- [39:52]
A
No.
- [39:53]
B
Okay, well, much was made about you continuing to follow Marcus. Let's see a flashback of Larsa yelling, you okay, well, guess what? Tennis from Ball says, hey, Larissa, is it a requirement for your friends to unfollow all of your exes? It's so juvenile.
- [40:11]
A
Yeah, but, like, it's not, like, if you're not, like, my close, like, friend, like. Like, it's like, I feel like.
- [40:18]
B
You.
- [40:18]
A
Haven'T seen, like, what's going on publicly with our breakup. Like, if you, like, met him through me, like, you don't really have a relationship with them and, like, you should probably, like, be a good friend and, like, unfollow them. Oh, yeah? Well, what about all the other 20 friends who follow him? Like, Caroline Stansberries.
- [40:36]
B
They all followed him, like, Lisa. Like, oh, yeah. You know, when they unvalled him. Yeah, like, about a year later after an article came out. And then you notice. Why did you notice me? Why me?
- [40:49]
A
Because, like, we were in a friend group, like, and you had your problems with, like, Lenny, like, and I feel like we, like, all unfathered Lenny. Like, yeah, but Lenny, I mean, but.
- [40:58]
B
Also Lars is like, yeah, Melanie, obviously. But, like, also Lars says, like, we're on a TV show together. Okay, I'm not on a show with Caroline Sandberg, but we're on a TV show. So if you don't do it. It's gonna be a storyline. Okay, well, what did you meet at Jody's birthday party when you told Larsa the whole world knows who you are. And we see a flashback to that. And Lisa goes, well, the general consensus, not from me, but if you ask anybody, like, I don't know, Chat GPT anybody Chat GPT just scary, scary thing for our times.
- [41:31]
A
Lisa did that though. She's like, hey, Chat GPT. What do you think? Eliza Pippin? She's a. I told you, I told you, Jody.
- [41:41]
B
She clearly did ask Chat GPT that, which is, that's the only reason why she. If you ask anyone like my, my good friend Chat GPT, they have a certain idea about Larsa.
- [41:52]
A
Yeah, well, I was married like for 20 years at 22 to a FairFit. Like, like a famous, like, superstar. Like, like I have four, like, superstar kids. Like, what are you gonna, like, do better? Like, I feel like we all have superstar kids. Are you saying my kids aren't a superstar? Okay, Andy, you've got superstar kids, don't you? He's like, like, why am I in this? Okay, well, I have a lot of companies I've started. Okay, I bought my own house by myself. Oh no, this is Larsa. I have like, companies and like, I bought my own house by myself. Like, I was the face of. But bleach. So, like, what are you talking about?
- [42:25]
B
Halo color. I do halo color. I don't expect someone else to pay my rent. Like, he's like, yeah, but you got your money from your divorce. But I was married for like 22 years. Like, okay, does someone want to clue me in about what Chachi PT says about Larsa? What is that? Does it says she's a gold digger, right? Is that what you're trying to say? But I look myself, but I'm worried.
- [42:46]
A
About the water shortage.
- [42:49]
B
I was married at 22. Like, I'm not a gold digger. Like, I'm a gold investor. Like.
- [42:58]
A
In essence, I looked it up, Andy. It says that she's polarizing and people criticize her for being image obsessed, while other people see her as resilient, multifaceted public personality who refuses to be boxed into a single face.
- [43:13]
B
Thank you. I love that Larsa says thank you to Chat GPT. Thank you so much for that.
- [43:17]
A
She's like, I'll take it. Thank you. That's like, so nice. Like, oh my God, Chat GPT is following me.
- [43:23]
B
Like, I have like so many Chat GPT fans. Like, all the bots they like, love Me, like, even the bots that like, try to change elections, they, like, the one thing they all agree on is they just love my feet.
- [43:34]
A
Like, so then Larsa starts this whole, like. But like, you know, like, when you live with someone, it's like the first person, like you brought around your kids. Like, it's like very hard. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like I feel like my kids were like super upset over it. Like, my kids were like, super, like, super upset. Like, they FaceTime me about it from Los Angeles. They were like, really upset about it. Like, my whole family had to like, come stay with me because it got to the point where it was like, so toxic.
- [43:58]
B
Like, like, I don't want to cry.
- [44:00]
A
Like, but.
- [44:01]
B
Oh, that's good because you're actually not crying. You're just changing your voice. Okay.
- [44:07]
A
And Lisa's like, well, you didn't tell me any of this. And she goes, well, I expected you, like, to answer the phone, Lisa. Like, I expected you to like, be there like, and listen to me for like five minutes and just say like, I'm really sorry. Like, I love you. Like, we both hate him. You know what I mean?
- [44:19]
B
Like, I love when Lars's real voice comes out. It's my favorite.
- [44:24]
A
It mustard from cheese. Says, Larsa was harsh by saying you shouldn't have been in Milan because of your sick father. And so we see flashback of that and Andy says, lisa, was she right? She like, I'm gonna get emotional. Give me a tissue, give me a tissue.
- [44:45]
B
Somehow the cliffhanger. I don't understand how this is a cliffhanger when it's like, oh, let's, let's bring up your dad who died. Do you feel guilty about not being there that last week? And then she's like, like, we know what she's. We know what she's choking up about. I don't know if it's a cliffhanger, but it doesn't matter. Minor note on, like, truly an amazing episode. I mean, so many gems throughout. I mean, I really can't believe it. It was so good.
- [45:09]
A
Yeah, this was a great one. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being with us for this very special two parter. We will be back later today with some Orange county and on Monday with Potomac and also Amazon Live on Monday at 4pm Pacific Time. Find information over on our Lincoln bio on Instagram and we'll talk to you next time. Bye.
- [45:31]
B
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing. Like Allison King. It's always A party on Alison Block.
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So somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy.
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MD we're taking the gold with Brenda.
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Silva let's get real with Caitlin o'.
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Neal Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the.
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She's a total knockout It's Katie Manock.
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We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sar Dorothy always killing it.
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It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out of a cannon.
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Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing in.
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We'Re obsessed doll with Tessa V. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.