#3041 RHOC S19E18 Part 1: Canal Retentive

Summary

Watch What Crappens - Episode #3041: “RHOC S19E18 Part 1: Canal Retentive”

Date: October 17, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie recap Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County’s (RHOC) Season 19, Episode 18, zooming in on the group’s chaotic preparations for an Amsterdam cast trip. They dissect Shannon’s mismanaged bridal shower for Jen, roast the housewives’ marital woes, and gleefully mock the minutiae of RHOC life—all in the signature Watch What Crappens blend of affectionate sarcasm, character impressions, and rapid-fire inside jokes. Come for the Bravo snark, stay for the running bits about tinned fish, JetBlue pods, and a parade of emotionally needy husbands.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shannon’s “Blushing Bride” Bridal Shower Disaster

(Starts ~05:29 – 17:00)

• Setting: Sherman Library and Gardens—“a hilarious place to invite Real Housewives to because Jen ain’t reading.” (05:43, Ben)
• Shannon’s meltdown: The party supplies are all wrong due to a mix-up with the “Jansen wedding.”
  • “I ordered blush colored wine glasses, and all I got was clear. How am I supposed to drink out of a clear glass?” (06:24, Shannon/Ben)
  • Hilarious escalation as Shannon discovers hay bales and cowboy decor instead of what she wanted.
• Gretchen’s “prayer” for Tamara:
  • “Shut up, Gretchen. You were praying for Tamara and you in church. Just be quiet.” (09:25, Ronnie)
• Hosts roast the absurdity: Ongoing gags about the plates’ “toxins” (07:31) and a cake that reads, “This may not work out, but at least I’m not that horse” (07:52).

2. Jen’s Approach to Marriage & the Bridal Shower

(11:03 – 21:00)

• Jen contemplates not wearing white: “I’m going to wear pink to my bridal shower. Do you think that’s okay?” (10:53, Jen/Ben)
• The hosts riff on her non-traditional approach and dig into why Jen feels “scarlet letter” shame over her second marriage.
  • Jen: “As a divorced person... I have a scarlet letter feeling...” (19:33, Jen/Ben)

3. Gretchen vs. Tamara: “I Have a List!”

(12:38 – 15:31)

• Gretchen insists she’s nothing like Tamara, backs this up with a checklist on her phone:
  • “I just want to point out that this list... is actually a checklist. The list itself—the list is the verification.” (13:09, Ben)
  • “You having a list at all means that you are exactly like Tamara, by the way. Hate to break it to you.” (15:13, Ben)

4. Group Advice: Divorcees Offer Marital Wisdom

(22:17 – 26:35)

• Shannon proposes everyone offers wedding advice to Jen—even though all except Heather are divorcées.
  • “We are a table of women who have had very stable and positive relationships that have not ended in disaster or tabloid headlines.” (22:35, Shannon/Ben)
• Tamra: “We don’t go to bed angry... Eddie goes to bed, in Big Bear.” (23:11, Tamra/Ben)
• Heather: “They’re going to judge it... say he’s cheating, he never loved her... fuck them. You’re richer than them.” (25:16, Heather/Ronnie)
  • “That was Groundlings quality.” (25:37, Ben)

5. Vacation Planning—Amsterdam Wins Out

(27:17 – 28:29)

• The group, after some bickering about whether to go tropical, returns (again) to Europe.
  • “Shannon, you used that card last year. You can’t use the show to subsidize your travel to see Stella for two years in a row.” (27:28, Ben)
  • Heather reveals her parents lived in Amsterdam for 15 years.

6. Heather’s Family & Dad’s Ashes

(28:29 – 33:29)

• Heather preps to spread her father’s ashes in Amsterdam, using dry humor to mask genuine emotion.
  • “This is dad. Could you find something even less bougie to put him in?” (31:07, Heather/Ronnie)
  • “He said his happy place was wherever his kids weren’t.” (32:05, Heather/Ronnie)

7. Scene: Gina & Travis at the Wine Bar

(34:11 – 35:49)

• Gina and Travis discuss how much happier things seem now, with Gina waxing sentimental and peppering in jokes about returning food for free.
  • “Do you think if I send this back even though I’ve eaten most of it, they’ll give it to us for free?” (35:43, Gina/Ronnie)

8. Packing & Pre-Trip Relationship Drama

(36:09 – 43:57)

• Jen frets about the real reason behind Shannon’s bridal shower—bonus points, not kindness (36:26).
• At home: Tamra and Eddie debate moving out of state (Ronnie jokes Eddie wants to cosplay as a Yellowstone rancher).
• Tamra, who lectures about “communication,” admits to Shane: “Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.” (43:08, Tamra)
  • Ben mocks Tamra’s hypocrisy about communication and drinking: “If Eddie thinks he’s gonna drag Tamra away from her TV show by making them relocate... he’s got another thing coming.” (41:28, Ben)

9. Airport & Amsterdam Arrival Antics

(45:45 – 48:18)

• Shannon injures her toe, Heather mother-hens with “blister blocker.”
• The hosts delight in the JetBlue business class “pods,” mocking housewives’ excitement:
  • “If everyone has a pod, is it even special? I ordered a better pod.” (46:32, Shannon/Ben)
  • Gretchen, possibly in business class for the first time: “Oh my God, they have earphones!” (47:22, Gretchen/Ronnie)
• Finally, the group arrives in Amsterdam and immediately get lost in translation with street names.

10. Closing & Upcoming Part 2

(49:02 – 49:09)

• Ben and Ronnie tease that Part 2 of the recap is coming soon.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On housewife decor drama:

  • “I ordered blush colored wine glasses, and all I got was clear. How am I supposed to drink out of a clear glass?” —Ben as Shannon (06:24)

• On checking off differences from Tamara:

  • “You having a list at all means that you are exactly like Tamara, by the way... The list is the verification.” —Ben (15:13)

• Marital advice, RHOC style:

  • “We don’t go to bed angry... Eddie goes to bed, in Big Bear.” —Ben as Tamra (23:11)

• Heather’s marriage wisdom:

  • “They’re going to judge it... fuck them. You’re richer than them.” —Ronnie as Heather (25:16)

• On traveling for housewife daughters:

  • “Shannon, you used that card last year. You can’t use the show to subsidize your travel to see Stella for two years in a row.” —Ben (27:28)

• On RHOC relationship communication:

  • “You should be able to come to me and talk about what’s hurting you.”
  • “Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.”
    (43:08, Shane/Tamra)

• On the “pods” on JetBlue:

  • “If everyone has a pod, is it even special? I ordered a better pod.” —Ben as Shannon (46:32)

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Tone & Language

Ben and Ronnie maintain their signature tone: cheeky, affectionate mockery laced with Bravo deep-cuts, sharp improv, and playful impressions of the housewives. Their commentary gleefully oscillates between silly exaggeration (making up housewife dialogue), biting satire (“The list itself is the verification”), and self-aware asides about their own Bravo-induced suffering (see: McBee Dynasty, tinned fish, and JetBlue pods).

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Episode Flow & Pacing

• 05:29: Main recap begins with the “botched shower” setup.
• 22:17: Keeps up energy with group wedding advice.
• 27:52: Vacation planning, segues to personal family drama (Heather).
• 34:11: Moves into lighter subplots (Gina’s wine bar talk).
• 43:51: Relationship cracks emerge, especially with Tamra and Shane.
• 45:45: Prepares for chaos as the women travel.
• 48:02: Arrive in Amsterdam, more comedic confusion.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode delivers what Watch What Crappens does best: merciless, hilarious play-by-play of Bravo’s messiest moments, all while poking fun at both the housewives’ antics and their own Bravo obsession. From Shannon’s party-planning meltdown to the group’s ill-fated travel logistics to Amsterdam, Ben and Ronnie’s running impressions and riffing offer a satirical but oddly loving portrait of RHOC at its most ridiculous.

Up next: Part 2 of the recap, continuing the Amsterdam adventures and guaranteed more insane Real Housewives hijinks.

Transcript

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Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Happens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandel Ker and joining me today in a dress full of all sorts of crazy cutouts as he walks along the sidewalks of Amsterdam is Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

[A]

Well, hello Ben. What's going on with you?

[B]

Not much. We are here today to talk Orange County. Their, their cast trip, their big cast trip is underway. We're going to get into all that. But before we do, just a reminder of course that we have a beautiful and vibrant Patreon community that we'd love for you to join. It's patreon.com watch what crappens. We have a weekly bonus episode. This week we did a trailer trash of the Southern charm season 11 trailer which was a lot of fun. So if you want to listen to that, you can check out the bonus episode there on Patreon. Now you can also watch along with that, which is really fun where you can actually see the trailer that we are making fun of and you can watch it by, by supporting on the crap it's on demand level where you not only can see things like the trailer trash, but you can also see the video version of podcasts like the one you're listening to right now. Either way, whatever you want to do, that's up to you and we support it no matter what. But if you are interested in any of that stuff, go to patreon.com watchmorecrappins and then on Mondays, Mondays we do some sort of live thing every Monday. Every other Monday we do crappy hour and we alternate that with, with Amazon lives. And I believe that this week coming up is a crappy hour week. So join us for that. That's gonna be at 5:30 on the West coast and 8:30 on the east coast. So that is the full, the full thing. And I also am just going to blatantly shill my sub stack because there was sort of a fun, like a kind of a fun one this week in the sense that I, you know, I write about food and I wrote about tinned fish. So if you don't like tin fish, you're not going to want to not going to like this. But if you're someone who likes tin fish, I had a little tin fish party and none other than celebrated drag artist Kimchi joined as well as my friends Chris and Lindsay and we had a really fun time. So if you want to read about the cool little tin fish party that we had, go check that out. It's called NBD Fancy. It's on Subsack. NBD Fancy. That's my blatant tin fish part. Blatant. Yeah, it was great. Sardines, smoked trout, anchovies.

[A]

Yeah, it's a great substack. Check it out. Lots of good food in there to check out. My aunties love it. It's her favorite thing.

[B]

Yeah, they talk about your answer.

[A]

Talk to you. They're like, oh, my God.

[C]

Wait, how's Ben? His substack's so good.

[A]

I love your brain.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

I love your aunts, like, regardless of sub sack response. But I do love that every time I see your aunts, they're like, ugh, your sub stack, I'm like, oh, my.

[A]

God, they love it. Okay, here we are with Real Housewives of Orange County. Season 19, episode 15 going D. We're.

[C]

Going to Amsterdam, people. We're going to Amsterdam.

[A]

So we open at the Sherman Library and Gardens, which is a hilarious place to invite Real Housewives to because Jen ain't reading. You know what I mean? Especially the Real Housewives of Orange County. What? What are they gonna do? So Shannon is on the phone. She's walking around setting up a party, and she's there with her assistant Claire.

[C]

And Shannon's like, this is Shannon Bedor calling, okay? You have made a delivery for this luncheon, and nothing that I ordered is here, and I'm really upset about it. I'm extreme. The police have been called. The police have been called.

[A]

Lady's like, hold on.

[C]

What are you talking about? I ordered blush colored wine glasses, and all I got was clear. How am I supposed to drink out of a clear glass?

[D]

Oh, well, unfortunately, all of our blush glasses have been reserved for a wedding. The Janssen wedding. So I'm like, oh, well, that's supposed to make it any better? I believe I put in that request for blush glasses. And the fact that you can't even save them for me. I mean, who. Who. Who's using those blush glasses right now?

[C]

Some slot down by the beach?

[A]

I'm sorry. We accidentally reversed your order with the.

[C]

Jansen wedding, so you're gonna be getting everything they got. Oh, is that why all are horseshoes? How am I supposed to have my guests eat off a horseshoe?

[A]

Well, it is a cowboy wedding, ma'.

[D]

Am.

[C]

Sorry. This is not a cowboy wedding. This is a bridal shower. It's a blushing bride bridal shower.

[D]

Look at these plates. They're square, but pointy on one end. I did not ask for square, but pointy plates. This is as. As I'm known to say.

[E]

This isn't my fucking plate, bitch.

[C]

I'm supposed to have flowers here. There are just bales of hay in the middle of the table.

[A]

Bills of pay.

[D]

And look, look. I looked at the back, I did some googling and I cross checked with Dr. Moon and these plates have 30% levels of toxins in them. And you just want me to die? You just want me and my guest to die? Is that what you want?

[C]

Oh, well, at least you sent me the cake. Hold on, let me. Let me just make sure the cake is okay. Okay, the cake says, this may not work out, but at least I'm not that horse.

[F]

Shannon, what kind of cake is this?

[A]

I'm sorry, ma'.

[G]

Am.

[A]

You got everything for the Jansen wedding. Sorry.

[B]

So she's furious. And then we go to Tamara getting.

[D]

Glam and she's like, I'm so confused what we're doing today.

[E]

Shannon text us last night.

[D]

And the text from Shannon said, hi there, everyone. Tomorrow is a lunch in the garden celebrating that Jen is getting married. She hasn't registered or anything, so it isn't an official bridal show. Or if she has, maybe she hasn't told me about it because I did think that we were close. But maybe we're not as close as I thought that we were. But, you know, that does happen from time to time. I mean, maybe I'm not even invited to the wedding. For all I know, she's already gotten married. I mean, it's sort of my lot in life to be forgotten about and cast aside. But that's okay. Anyway, I'm gonna throw a not shower for a wedding that may have already happened that I've been disinvited from.

[E]

Thank you, everyone.

[C]

I just wanted you all to know that I have changed. This is Shannon Bedor here. Please meet me to celebrate the wedding of a blonde slut from a beach. So I'm a good person now.

[F]

Well, this information would have been better a week ago, bitch.

[A]

So, you know, really, what if you. You would have prepared some really sweet bridal thing for Jen if you'd have some advance Tamara, please.

[B]

What does Tamara need any.

[H]

What does she need?

[B]

This information. A week ago was her. Was her busy schedule of, you know, like, picking out leopard skin, you know, bangles interrupted.

[A]

So we go to Gretchen's house and.

[F]

She'S like, oh, yeah, when I was in church, I was praying for Tamara and I.

[C]

So he's like, did you.

[A]

Shut up, Gretchen. You were praying for Tamara and you in church. Just be quiet. Do you think Jesus sits up there and just laughs at her ass?

[B]

I think so. I do. And by the way, you know Slade with his, like, just for men, orange hair. Now I'm like, okay, can we listen? I can't stand Slade, but if he's going to be on our TV, can we @ least. Can we at least fix that hair color? Because this is. Something has gone very arai over there.

[A]

Yeah, Slade's not. It's not. It's not ending well for Slade.

[F]

I was in church praying for Tamara, and I was just asking Jesus, like.

[C]

Why couldn't Tamara try and be friends when I was, you know, running through.

[F]

A charity for people who had been.

[C]

Wrongfully imprisoned, screaming, run for your life.

[B]

So then we go back to Shannon, and she's still fighting.

[D]

Lady is like, sorry, was it just a glass or. Oh, well. Well, on my quote, I specifically wrote what I needed. I needed a steak knife. I needed a normal knife. I needed a knife that was. Had the. My blood on it because I pulled.

[E]

It from my back. Thank you very much, John Jansen and Alexis Bolino.

[C]

But now I've been served forks that are stuck into a doll with my face saying, thank God it's not Shannon. Oh, sorry, ma'. Am.

[A]

Like I said, we got all of the things for the Jansen wedding for.

[C]

God damn it.

[A]

And the lady just keeps putting her on hold. She's like, okay, hold on one second, please. I'll check on that. And Shannon's just getting more and more worked up. So then we go to Jen. She's getting ready, and I don't want to do white.

[C]

You know, I'm not going to do traditional wedding stuff. So I'm going to wear pink. I'm going to wear pink to my bridal shower. Do you think that's okay? It's okay. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Glam girl. Thank you.

[D]

Emily kept on joking, just wear black. And I was like, that is so funny. Like, I don't know why you are not, like, more popular with the audience, Emily, with jokes like that. Like, just wear black. I mean, that's hilarious, right? Everyone's laughing, right? She's so funny, that Emily.

[A]

So Emily comes to the Gardens, and.

[C]

Shannon's like, well, I didn't really talk to you after that western party. Thankfully, we're redoing it here today. Would you like an hors d'?

[D]

Oeuvre?

[C]

They're called Hope Shannon dies this Year.

[A]

Tartar.

[C]

I don't know where they came from.

[D]

But by the way, this is a safe place today. No one can say anything embarrassing because as far as I can tell, there's no blushing around the table. Thanks a lot.

[C]

But I do have bandanas for you to wear if you'd like.

[F]

Um, okay. Well, I haven't seen you since the other party.

[C]

Like, yeah, there were words being exchanged. Most of them. We're not polite. They were not polite words. And she goes, well, who do you mean with? She's. Well, you and Emily. Right.

[A]

And so we see a flashback to Emily saying that Slade going up to fight was aggressive.

[C]

And she's like, but he was fighting.

[F]

Because he was about slave and he has the right to stand up for himself.

[B]

Yeah. From the thing that he started, as you mentioned last week.

[D]

So Gretchen's like, no, like, coming up.

[E]

And saying hi is not aggressive.

[D]

It's like, okay, but look, I'm never going to be close friends with Tamara again. Especially because I know that she's the one that's behind this entire mix up. Like, where are my blush glasses? But I'm not going after her. And I just wish that you could get to that point too, because some of the girls are saying Gretchen is acting just like Tamara, sort of the way Alexis Bellino is acting just like.

[E]

Me by getting married to all my exes. Oh, hilarious.

[D]

I hope she's enjoying her bless blush.

[E]

Glassware at her wedding.

[F]

That's. I learned that word in church. I'm nothing like her.

[C]

So she's like, well, you know, don't be tamron.

[A]

So the producer is saying, what's the difference between you and Tamara?

[F]

She's like, can I go back and look at my list to remind me? Because I made a list points, and now I'm not like Tamara.

[A]

So she reads from the notes on her phone.

[B]

Yeah. I just want to point out that this list that she's made on her notes app is actually a checklist. It has the little circles that you can check off. So I like the idea that she has this list, but at a certain point, she might actually be like, check, check.

[E]

I do do that.

[D]

I like that.

[A]

So she doesn't have a child calling her a manipulator and a liar yet, which will give it time. Yeah, exactly. Your child hasn't hit the age where she's about to start calling you a manipulator and a liar yet. Give her the language and she'll use it. That's what I say.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[E]

I haven't been sued and lost because of my lies. And then I'm going suit again for another lie. Parentheses, Jimbo and Ryan.

[B]

I like that she has to add a parenthetical to remind herself of what her bullet point is.

[F]

I didn't reach out to Tamara's ex and try and get dirt on her.

[A]

Michelle Slade's ex.

[E]

I'm not profiting from people's pain, AKA her podcast.

[A]

You are profiting from people's pain. You're on a Real Housewives show. Yeah, she's not harming or constantly hurting her friends. Debatable. I'm not discussing again. Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Paycheck these days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not disclosing personal information. My friends asked me to not talk about. Like she did to Shannon about her dad.

[B]

What was that thing about Tamara having sex with a boy bander? Oh, wait, I. I forget. It's something that Gretchen said, I believe. Anyway, going on, moving on.

[A]

I don't have several exes coming forward publicly to say I'm a liar and a cheater. They're dead. That's not fair.

[B]

You weren't you, like, literally sued about this?

[A]

Yeah, that's true, actually. You are being sued. But you were sued by somebody who called you a fucking liar and a cheater. And the guy that you were lying and cheating on before that passed away. So she doesn't call or DM bloggers and try to get them to post horrible things about my castmates. You have Slade, and Slade does.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you crazy?

[A]

Gretchen, I actually feel you.

[B]

I actually feel bad when I mess up. She doesn't. She has zero remorse. And repeat and repeats her patterns. And this is the. And this is the short list, by the way. You having a list at all means that you are exactly like Tamara. By the way. Hate to break it to you. The list itself. The list. The list is the verification.

[A]

So Shannon just hopes they can keep.

[C]

It light today, okay? Because today is about Jen, and there's nothing lighter than Jen, okay?

[D]

Can we. We just keep it. Can we just keep it light as. As light as the light coming through these clear glasses.

[C]

By the way, would you like a sugar cube for your champagne? They've been laid out on the table. What the hell is going on at that wedding?

[B]

So Heather shows up and she's like, oh, hi.

[D]

Hi, Heather. I. I apologize for. We're. We're. We're in the grass here. I guess they saw all this horse like, decor.

[E]

Decor. And put us out in the pasture.

[D]

Thanks a lot Thanks a lot.

[E]

Hold on.

[A]

I'm just aerating the g. The. The grass with my heels.

[C]

I almost.

[F]

About this dress bad, but it's too short. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And Heather's like, you can borrow my dress if you want to. It's so nice to say that to somebody that's not Gina.

[H]

Hey, did you. Hey, Tamara. Did you say hi to Gretchen? Or as I like to call her, Gretchers?

[D]

She's like, no, get your eyes closed. I'm saying hi to people.

[B]

So she walks by Gretchen and hug Shannon instead, and it's like, oh, I.

[G]

Guess she's not saying hi. That's so funny.

[D]

Gretchen's like, well, I'm not surprised at all.

[E]

I don't expect her to. Yeah, well, have fun. This is really pretty. This is a pretty. Pretty little picnic that you set up. Shannon. The clear glasses are a little tacky, I think. It wasn't my intention to have clear glasses. I wanted to have blush glasses.

[D]

Here, Tamara.

[E]

Thanks a lot for bringing that up.

[F]

Wait a minute. Why is all the food in. In 10 cups?

[C]

Damn it, Tamara.

[F]

Wait a minute. Are we eating chili con carnet out of cups?

[E]

Wait a second. Why. Why is there a hexagonal thing in the middle of this table?

[D]

Well, they sent over the McBee dynasty wedding arch, and I. I don't even understand why they did that, but real mix up here.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Look, my name is on the card on the table. Did I get a card?

[A]

That's where you have to sit, Gina. It's a name card. It's a. It's a place setting for sake. Gina, just sit down.

[B]

Gina's so impressed with, like, the slightest hint of luxury, like a bespoke name tag.

[F]

My name's my.

[B]

By the way, I. I want to say, since I did invoke it and I'm embarrassed that I invoked it. Thank you to all the me. Truly, the messages of sympathy that are out there to me because it's been announced that McBe Dynasty is filming for its third season. And so, yes, I have seen it, and I'm already mentally preparing, and I'm not even. I'm not even going to try to have a good attitude about it. Normally, this is when I say, you know what? I'm going to try to be into it.

[G]

No, I'm not.

[B]

I am deeply frustrated and annoyed by it.

[A]

See you soon, Jesse McBean. Some little devil can't wait for you. Your little butt to reappear on my.

[B]

Just give me Tessa. Just give me Tess, and I'll be okay.

[A]

Oh, my God. Give me Lena, Give me Jesse. Give me the messy brother Cole. Tiny mouth Cole. Give me all of them. The hot one is so stressed out all the time. I'm into it.

[D]

Just.

[B]

Just improve your. You know what?

[D]

Fine.

[B]

Give us the show. Just fire everyone on production and put, like, a proper Bravo production team behind it and make it a Bravo show, please. And then I'll be okay. But, like, as it is now, like, we. I don't need to see this, like, fake Annie. Sorry.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

You know, McBee catching strays.

[F]

Geez.

[B]

Well, guess what? I caught full on non strays. I caught full on aimed at me and my brain bullets from McBean. So they're gonna catch some strays and it'll be okay.

[C]

I hope we meet them and Jesse.

[A]

Can just give me the kiss he's always wanting me.

[B]

And I'll be like, oh, my God, Jesse McPhee was, like, so nice, and, oh, my God, Stephen McBee Jr. Like, actually, he's, like, so cool, and he's, like, really friendly. It's actually a lot smarter than I ever thought. Like, I actually really like these guys. Guys, let's, like, watch season three. Let's have a watch party. Season one. You know, that's because that's how I operate, unfortunately. So I'm a pushover. Go on.

[A]

So Jen is thanking them for the bridal party or whatever.

[C]

She's like, this is the nicest thing I'm gonna do. I mean, I'm not gonna do anything nice for my wedding. This is, like, the nicest thing I'm gonna have, because as a divorced person, I just feel like, you know, like I have a Scarlet letter feeling because I'm divorced. And the way I was raised is, you get married one time, and that's the rest of your life. And my parents so proudly put so much effort in my wedding, and I don't know, that fell apart. So with Ryan, I don't want to do anything like that, which is why I'm wearing a non traditional person. A person who sprays that spray paints things on his shorts.

[D]

Oh, well, this isn't a bridal shower because we're celebrating the fact that a year later, you're. You're still engaged, and it's coming up. I mean, this. This is a bridal shower for me.

[B]

To prove that I've been a good.

[D]

Friend to you for when you inevitably backstabbed me just the way that Alexis Bellino did. Why is there a tiny little trampoline in the middle of our table? I did not Order that. Is that from the wedding?

[C]

Damn it. That's what she's supposed to be giving her vows on. Someone get this over to the Bellino wedding immediately. Well, Jen's getting married someday, and who knows who's going to throw the luncheon next year if Jill's still getting. If Jen's still getting marri.

[D]

I don't know which one of you you vindictive would ever do anything as kind as what I'm doing. Shannon Bedor everybody's friend, so I thought I would have. The bro's not gonna. She doesn't throw parties for the. For the. For the.

[B]

For the help.

[D]

So I don't see her throwing any sort of luncheon for Jen. I don't think she even knows who Jen is.

[G]

Who is Jen? Why do we keep mentioning this Jen person? Is she a guest member?

[D]

See? Exactly.

[C]

I definitely think that Jen and Ryan are gonna get married because, like, he compliments her a lot. Who doesn't like that? You know? I mean, he does over sexualize her a lot, and I really wish he would stop doing that. By the way, if we talked about Travis's balls lately, we shouldn't talk about Travis's ball.

[B]

Yeah, seriously.

[H]

Clink, click.

[D]

Wait.

[H]

Shadow. Wait. Sorry. That was. That was me doing an impersonation of Shannon's toast.

[D]

Thank you very much for over clinking my clink. My clink goes like this.

[E]

Clink, clink, clink.

[D]

Very demure.

[A]

It's time for a commercial.

[C]

It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[F]

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[H]

All right. Shannon wants to say something.

[D]

Okay. Well, yes, I thought everyone could go around the table and give Jen their most sound wedding advice. And as we all know, we are a table of women who have had very stable and positive relationships that have not ended in disaster or tabloid headlines.

[E]

So let's go around the horn and.

[D]

Tell everyone about successes they've had. Just feel free to raise your non blush glass and share.

[C]

Gina's like, but we're all divorced. Except for Heather. She goes, well, maybe. Maybe we'll finish with Heather's advice. Okay. You did good. Your second try. So Tamara's like, well, your second wedding.

[F]

Thank you marriage. Y' all didn't know what not to do, you know, because Simon and I used to fight that crazy and say mean things to each other. And, you know, Eddie, we don't get mad. We don't get. We don't go to bed angry. Eddie goes to bed, and big Bear.

[D]

Yeah, we're like, we won't get mad.

[E]

We don't say mean things to each other.

[D]

So the way we don't say mean things to each other is we just.

[E]

Sort of done talk.

[D]

He doesn't talk really. So. So it's kind of.

[E]

What's that great.

[F]

Yeah. Batch.

[D]

Oh, well, I will say, as someone who has a very successful track record in relationships, I will say communication is the key to success. For instance, if there is a hurricane barreling down on your house that is very far inland, and one might not.

[E]

Expect there to be a hurricane heading.

[D]

That way, you should communicate there's a hurricane coming, and then you're very caring partner who may want you to eat better in life with vegetables can say, oh, I didn't realize that. But if you don't communicate, then that won't be understood, and then you'll wind up fighting. So what I'm trying to say is check the national weather forecast. Thank you.

[C]

Okay. Well, Emily, I don't know what your first husband was like, so what was that like?

[A]

Oh, he was a good guy, but, like, Shane is my person. You know, Shane, I could put in my purse with my turkey sandwiches. And I think that's really important. So, you know, everybody has a person. So if you haven't found yours, maybe sit on g chat for a while and wait for some dude who's bored at work to just say, I'm bored. Want to get married, toots?

[H]

Yeah. I mean, until you've understood what it's like to have the joy of trying to solve a. A troll's riddle, to pass a bridge, then you'll understand what it's like to be with. With Shane. He's just my person.

[D]

That's great advice. What about you Gretchers? What's your. What's your advice?

[E]

I would definitely say that, like, when everybody's saying best friends, like, that's important. And faith is a really big, important part of our relationship.

[D]

So it's really important to be really.

[E]

Christian at certain points of your life.

[D]

When it works for you.

[F]

Yeah. Basically, I would suggest that, you know, multiple marriage is really not good, but it is kind of okay. I believe in polygamy. Three people should be in the marriage. You, your husband, And Jesus.

[A]

Camera's like, oh, for fuck's sake. Just rolling your eyes.

[C]

Heather's like, okay, well, here's what I say. People are going to judge your relationship. They're going to judge it. They're going to say mean things about you. He's cheating. He never loved her. He's off sleeping with the people that work in his office on botched. Fuck them. You're richer than them.

[G]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you. That was groundlings quality. Groundlings quality.

[G]

Listen, here's how to make a marriage work. First, marry someone incredibly wealthy. Second, be very scary and make them feel like if you. If they ever leave, you're going to text them things about adjudication for the rest of their life. Third, make sure you invite poor people over to their home and then invite your other rich friends over and you can laugh at the poor people. Flashback to Dr. Jen, anyone? No? Okay, that's fine.

[C]

Most importantly, he's gonna want onion rings at a very nice party one day. Tell him no. Keep him in his place. My right, ladies.

[H]

Hey, do you fart in front of Terry?

[G]

I don't fart. Instead, what I do is I hold up a picture of Wendy Malik, and then I let one loose and I say, she did it.

[A]

Did you fart in front of John Jansen, Shannon?

[C]

She's like, no, but he wasn't asleep all the time. It would wake me up.

[D]

Oh, my God, the Thunder From Down Under.

[B]

Like, let's not compare John Jansen to anyone who is on the Thunder From Down Under. It's just. I know what you're trying to say there, Gina, but let's just not even go there.

[A]

It's so nice that we can all sit together and have a good time, right? Just us and this taco from my purse. Oh, girls, we should go on a vacation together. Okay? That's what girls do. It's like, wow, smooth, smooth transition to your fake vacation planning. And Jen's like, we should go somewhere warm.

[F]

Like Bora Bora.

[D]

Yeah, like the Maldives or Bora Bora. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, that's like, too sleepy Badge. And Shannon's like, well, I would love to go somewhere potentially in Europe so I can go see Stella afterwards.

[B]

Like, Shannon, you used that card last year. You can't do the.

[D]

I.

[B]

You can't, like, use the show to subsidize your. Your travel to see Stella for two years in a row. I mean, you can. That's probably the smart thing to do, but, like, you can't do that. But they're because, you know, they're all like, well, we wanted to go somewhere tropical this year. We went to Europe last year. Like, no, we're going to go to Europe again. So they're going to go to Amsterdam.

[A]

Amsterdam, yeah. They choose Amsterdam.

[C]

And Heather's like, you know, my parents lived there for 15 years.

[B]

They're like, oh, really?

[C]

Yes, there are a million times. It's a beautiful city. They have all the gorgeous canals and pots legal. And, you know, I'm a real hip lady who's into pot now. I do the pot.

[G]

Did you know that when you're wealthy in Amsterdam and you fire a servant, you just push them in the canal. It's great. Everyone watches and everyone knows to act better in the household.

[A]

So now we go over to Heather's penthouse with Terry and she's offering him a Diet Coke.

[C]

And he's like, yeah.

[A]

Nikki says, I drink too much soda. I shouldn't have that.

[C]

You want water? That's boring.

[A]

Was that for me or you? Because I am the funny one in this.

[G]

That was my joke because I offered you a soda and I said, well, do you want water instead? Because it was obviously boring and it was a very funny joke, was it not? Thank you, Alfredo. Thank you.

[A]

What's the sparkling thing called? Love the sparkling thing.

[C]

That's called Lacroix. Lacroix. No, it's not.

[A]

It's called Lacroix. Lacroix came out with a very specific announcement that is prepared. It's called Lacroix. I don't know why, because it should be called Lacroix.

[B]

Yeah, it's obviously confused with Madison from Southern Charm. Just so you know. Anyway, yeah, Madison, lroy, she's Lacroix. And this is. The drink is Loc. Locroy.

[G]

I spoke to Josh Flag television's Josh Flag.

[B]

Oh, you did?

[G]

Yes. So we had a great conversation. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's flashback music.

[D]

Okay.

[G]

Hey, Josh.

[C]

God, that sparkling scene of Josh, doesn't it make you want to cancel that show all over again? Am I right, ladies?

[G]

Hey, America. Does everyone want to see me talking with Josh Flag? Here we go. Hey, Josh. Joshua just wanted an update on the house. What are you thinking?

[B]

He's like, well, it's just going to take one person.

[D]

And it's what it is.

[B]

It's not overpriced.

[G]

So you think a few months it'll take to sell? Do you think Drake might sell it? Drake always is always looking over at it, sort of pining. But maybe that's just me. He's staring at. I don't know. I have this kind of appeal.

[A]

Yeah. So they decide that they'd rather be.

[C]

Going to Paris on private jets and spending money on another money pit.

[A]

So now they're talking about Amsterdam, and she talks about her dad. Her dad worked for an international company, and they were based in Amsterdam. So her parents moved there in college. And so she visited all the time. It's fascinating.

[C]

And she goes, you know what's funny? So my mom called me the other day. Oh, Alfredo. God damn it. That was the punchline. That's all I had to say. Thank you, Alfredo. It was a little late, but it was.

[G]

Alfredo. You're lucky we're not in Amsterdam, because you would be in that water right now.

[A]

So she's talking to her mom, and she's like, oh, thanks, Mom.

[C]

I got this.

[A]

And she holds up a white gift bag. It's like a crinkly bag.

[C]

And she goes, this is dad. Could you find something even less bougie to put him in?

[G]

My God, my mom is so controlling. God forbid I talk about him in a way that she doesn't deem appropriate, but that's just the way it is.

[B]

And we see a flashback to years ago. And when her. Both her parents went. Were, like, 2013, they came on the show.

[G]

So in all these years, she's never dumped his ashes anywhere.

[B]

Alfredo.

[G]

No. Wrong time, wrong timing. I figured his happy places were New York, Puerto Vallarta and Amsterdam.

[B]

Okay, well, why don't you dump them in the Herringracht? Right in the. Right in front of his house.

[G]

That's what I thought I would do. Did you?

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Listen to me, Terry.

[B]

You'd see I was getting there.

[C]

You know, dad always said his happy place was wherever his kids weren't. So I don't know if it's gonna ruin it if I'm actually there in Amsterdam, dumping them. Doesn't that kind of destroy the point?

[G]

You know, my joke about my dad is that our relationship now is exactly the same. I said, my joke about my dad is that our relationship is not now. Exactly.

[B]

Alfredo.

[G]

Thank you.

[A]

Alfredo's over there crying in the corner.

[C]

Like, please stop crying. You're on duty. He was a very typical corporate dad. Gone before we got home, after we. You know, home after we had dinner. And there wasn't really a lot of real communication.

[G]

I think that was.

[C]

I remember the first play I ever did. My dad, I waited for his review. He came in late to the show, left before intermission. And when I got home, he said, heather, Please don't ever do that again.

[G]

I remember when I was in the 1993 Horse Grilly production of into the woods, and my dad said, that's exactly where I'm heading after this show because that was so awful. Said he went to Amsterdam.

[C]

I think that's what's hard for me. That's why I'm such a sensitive, emotional person. You might see right now the sensitivity and emotions just coming off of me in waves. Alfredo, come over here and wave some emotion off of me. Come on.

[D]

Thank you.

[G]

Wrong emotion. You're supposed to cry. Okay, Alfredo, could you please bring those bulls that are headed for Nobu to put them under my face and capture the tears, the emotions falling all over the place.

[A]

Well, you know, they say sometimes you marry your father. Am I unemotional? She's like, well, you've seen me cry a few times at the American Express. Bill.

[C]

Damn it, Alfredo.

[B]

Terry, he doesn't do it.

[G]

Terry, you need to be. You need to have Groundlings experience before Alfredo plays the drum for you. I'm sorry, Terry.

[A]

So we go to a wine bar.

[C]

With Gina and Travis.

[A]

I like that Gina. Some of these scenes when they go to the restaurants, they're just fake. They're obviously a couple people from production sitting at a table so they can get a quiet atmosphere. But it's Gina. So they're like, no, just put her in the middle of a loud bar. Let's not bother with that. It's just fucking Gina. We're probably not going to use this footage anyway.

[B]

Yeah. So it's a really stimulating scene because they're gonna talk about their families.

[D]

Well, I have to keep up with you because you're like. You're like a very handsome cowboy babe. Like, everybody was, like, talking about.

[B]

Actually, he's like, oh, boy.

[D]

Yeah, you know, like, what everyone said, though, they were, like, they thought was so cool to see you have, like, so much fun for the first time in, like, six years on this TV show.

[B]

He's like, I did have fun.

[D]

Yeah, like that right there. Like, it's like, people now finally get to see, like, what a big personality you have, because, like, you really need, like, a night out. Like, it's been, like, a lot. Like, we've been under, like, a lot of stress this year, and I'm, like, really thankful and, like, happy. Like, everything seems to be working out. Everyone's back home, and everything's, like, good again. Like, I feel opposite of bad.

[C]

Yeah, like, all the ladies at that party were so into you. They found you so sexy. Do you remember that lady came up to. What was she saying to you?

[A]

She asked me if I wanted a weenie.

[C]

Oh, you see? They, like, love you.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

So, like, it's so good we have a kids bag. We're, like, so happy now. You're such a good father. Oh, my God. Are you crying? I'm crying. I'm not crying. You're crying. You crying on crying. Hey, do you think if I send this back even though I've eaten most of it, they'll give it to us for free?

[B]

That's basically the whole scene right there.

[D]

You cry, Travis cries, a kid.

[B]

Can you talk about my balls?

[A]

All right, so now it is packing scenes. Everybody's packing to go to Amsterdam. Jen's gonna take sexy stuff because they might go to a live sex show. Guys, crazy. And are the ladies gonna get along? She's like, I don't know.

[C]

Let's talk about the wedding stuff. You know, I mean, we don't have a date yet, but I wasn't pushing for a bridal shower. But it was so nice.

[A]

And he's like, yeah, well, we had a date. And then Dawson decided to join the military. So we had to push it back two months so we can get his break during basic training. Which is totally a normal thing to happen during basic training. Love giving vacation days in the army, right?

[B]

So then Jen's just saying, like, I.

[D]

Don'T know, like, how Shannon threw this, like, bridal shower. I wasn't pushing for a bridal shower.

[B]

I was like, well, you know, like, really, the. He's like, the thing is that, like, probably Shannon did it for bonus points. And Jenna's saying, like, you know, Ryan.

[D]

And I, we communicate through everything. And he knows my reservations about being married again, you know, and how I'm really not comfortable with having paint splattered on a wedding dress just isn't really a look that I'm going for. And, like, I don't know, I just kind of feel like if we get married, does it. Does it all go to hell? Because we're like, we're so good. And if I do that, like, is that gonna be the thing that breaks us? It's just like a weird thing that I. That I have. It's almost like the sneaking suspicion that he's just being performatively good until we get a Bravo wedding. And then after that, he's just back to cheating. I don't know why I think that.

[A]

So they say that things have been good with the ex lately because she's been stroking his Ego, so that's been a lot easier. And she's worried that the stress from the ex is gonna break them up and, you know, stuff we've already heard a million times, so who cares? So then he's like, everything's gonna be great, so. But take. Take some sex pictures for me, honey.

[C]

Maybe you could wear a. Maybe you could wear a.

[A]

A big coat.

[C]

You could open up, and then you'll be naked underneath.

[G]

Yeah. Oh, Ryan, commercials.

[E]

Here comes one right now.

[B]

So now we go to the Rancho Capistrano Winery, and Tamara and Eddie sit down. This is like a back to. Back to back sequence of uncharismatic husbands. Although actually, Ryan has some charisma.

[D]

But.

[B]

But oh, my goodness. After we got through Travis, now we're here with Eddie. I mean, at least we didn't get a Shane scene.

[D]

So they're sitting down.

[B]

The trifecta. Yeah, that's the true trifecta.

[E]

Guess what batch.

[D]

I met with Dina the other day.

[B]

Like the sentence that no one wants to ever hear at the start of a conversation.

[A]

It's like, oh, God, yeah. Starting to look like a Jack Nicholson impression, isn't he?

[C]

He's like, yeah, I'm here. Here we are, about to order some food and lunch. So she's like, yeah, you know, and.

[A]

Basically, yeah, she's saying she met with Gina and they were talking about Gretchen.

[C]

And Eddie's like, I don't think you.

[A]

Need to have that woman in your life, babe.

[C]

I just don't think you need it.

[F]

She's like, yeah, I don't want her in my life. I think she's toxic. I think she needs help, and I really. I just really don't want her in there. I hate that fucking stupid toxic bitch.

[B]

No, I was talking about the waitress. I don't really like her service.

[E]

Yeah, her too, bitch.

[B]

This is, by the way, Eddie's role every season is to sit down with Tamara and say, yeah, that lady sucks.

[D]

Don't have her in her life, man.

[B]

So Tamara is like, so, by the way, batch.

[D]

I had a talk with Sophia and let her know that we are fully aware her new boyfriend spent the night.

[G]

Batch.

[B]

And we have a flashback to Tamara.

[E]

Being like, are you having sex with a boyfriend? Finger in her finger and hoe.

[A]

She's like, you're a freak, mom. So then Tamara's like, yeah, well, I'm.

[F]

Concerned that she's got a boyfriend. Going to LA is going to be a big fat now because she doesn't want to go the way to college.

[A]

She can have a boyfriend in Orange county and still go to college in la. It's not like she's, you know, moving to going.

[B]

She's not doing a study abroad in Johannesburg.

[D]

Okay?

[A]

I'm not going to Juilliard, for Christ's sake.

[B]

Definitely not. So Tamara is like, yeah, you Never.

[E]

Know at 19 if a relationship's gonna last. You can't take this pivotal moment of.

[D]

Your life where you're gonna go in.

[E]

A couch and go, I can't go because I have a boyfriend now. No, that's not gonna work in this household.

[F]

She goes, wait, what does that mean.

[C]

For us and Eddie, he's like, well, I know we talked about moving out of state, but I don't know how you feel about that.

[F]

Y. Sometimes I feel like we make plans. Like it's our plans for death. Like we're gonna go somewhere and just shrivel up and die. That's what we're making plans for. Why we gotta plan? Shrimp up and die. Eddie, come on.

[B]

Where does Eddie want to move to? He wants to move out of state. Like, where do you think that he.

[A]

He's one of those people who wants to be, like, a Yellowstone person. You know, we could get a ranch and pretend we're cowboys and buy a big, gigantic truck that makes no sense and live somewhere, like, you know, like in Idaho Ranch.

[B]

Yeah. Or maybe he's gonna, like, try to join McBee dynasty. He's sort of been. Sort of been dressing like that a lot of, like, American flags and motorcycle things and whatnot.

[A]

So, yeah, he's really into that. Like, the black American flag or whatever. What does that mean, anyway? The black American flag?

[B]

I think it's. You know what? I will look it up. I have an idea of what it means. I'll look it up.

[C]

It is.

[A]

But, yeah, he's got the imagery for sure.

[C]

So she's like, yeah, I don't want.

[F]

This plan to die.

[C]

And he goes, well, God knows how long we're gonna live. My grandma's 99 years old, so I might live a long time unless I get hit by a bus.

[F]

Don't think I won't throw you under one. Dang. I have kids because you annoy me when you eat. Stop chewing and stop listening around me. Stop listening while you chew.

[B]

If Eddie thinks he's gonna drag Tamara away from her TV show by making them relocate to Wyoming or, like, Idaho or Montana, he's got another thing coming. That bus is gonna come real quickly. Eddie.

[A]

Well, they already got the big bear thing when she was fired the first time they Moved over to Big Bear or whatever. Or did she do that after she was. She did. They did that during the time that she was fired, right?

[B]

Yeah, during the time she was. Yeah, exactly. I want. Maybe he thinks that Big Bear is out of state. That'd be kind of funny. Like, Big Bear.

[A]

Big Bear country.

[B]

So people are still packing, by the way. Emily's now packing and she's talking to Shane.

[H]

You've been to Amsterdam, haven't you?

[B]

A long time ago.

[H]

Did you go to the red light district?

[B]

I think you would know the answer to that.

[H]

I actually really don't. I can't really get a gauge on this one.

[C]

I did go there, and I took Bibles and I tried to turn people over, but it didn't really work out so well.

[H]

You're crazy, Shane.

[A]

But there was some more stuff in here in this Tamra thing I wanted to talk about. So he's like, hey, you don't like my eating noises?

[C]

Put some earplugs in. You know, it's not a good way to react.

[F]

And she says, I'm not an asshole. You're an asshole.

[A]

And he's like, do you think we have a problem?

[F]

She goes, I think our problem is we don't communicate. And then it's explodes. And I always say we've got one good fight every six months. That's what I say.

[C]

He goes, yeah, but it's how you talk to me, you know?

[A]

And usually it's when you're drunk, and.

[C]

That'S what makes you come at me.

[F]

She goes, oh, really? Do you think I have a drinking problem then?

[A]

And he's like, yeah, for our relationship, you should never drink. You should be able to come to me and talk about what's hurting you.

[F]

And she goes, yeah, that's never gonna happen.

[A]

Therapy is really helping, huh?

[B]

I know Tamara, who has just, like, been, like, sort of championing the values of open communication and, like, talking. And she's literally just telling him right.

[D]

Now, like, we don't talk.

[E]

That's the problem.

[D]

And he's like, well, you should talk.

[B]

To me about some of these things. Yeah, I'm not gonna talk to you.

[D]

No.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely not.

[A]

And also Tamara, who's been projecting alcoholism on somebody for two years, even though the projection doesn't need much help. It's kind of true, but she's been projecting that anger on somebody else. And he's like, you have a problem with Alcoh, and our marriage is going down the tubes because you get drunk and abuse me emotionally.

[D]

Yeah, but in the Spirit of open communication. That's not something I want to talk to you about.

[A]

So then she. She says something, she's like, you live.

[F]

Your life as an only child.

[C]

And he goes, oh, there it is. That evil witch laugh.

[B]

You married it, sir.

[A]

Who knew that this would be the most entertaining marriage on this show?

[B]

I know. It's like once a season, there's like a moment where we see like the. The crazy cracks in it. So then we go after the Emily scene, we go to Shannon, and she. She's leaving a voicemail for Stella.

[D]

Hello, Stella, it's your mother. You may remember me. I'm the woman who gave birth to you. Who. I think you may have lost my phone number. Anyway, first of all, have you ever seen such a terrible thing as non blush glasses at a luncheon at a garden library?

[E]

Me neither, but that's what I had to endure.

[D]

So anyway, we're gonna go to Amsterdam, so that way I can go visit you afterwards. Which is another great testament to my. My mothering is that I come and I visit you. I don't know if it seems to go the other way around. I don't know if I get a visit either through the phone or just in person. But that's okay.

[E]

I will visit you.

[D]

I will spend thousands of dollars. I will uproot an entire cast trip to go visit you. That's just the sacrifices I make. Anyway, so I wanted to know some of your favorite places to go in Amsterdam. If you don't mind. Can we not include all of the drug at drug addict places that you.

[E]

Seem to enjoy going to these days late at night?

[D]

I don't have any interest in that, and you shouldn't either. But that's okay. I will let you make your own choices. You are an adult, so any. Any insight you have would be wonderful.

[C]

Call me back. So Gina's like, oh, my God, look.

[F]

How cute this blazer is. Doesn't it say, like, I'm in Amsterdam?

[A]

He's like, oh, what are you guys gonna do in Amsterdam?

[C]

I don't know. We're gonna get stoned to ship, probably.

[A]

So then the ladies arrive at the airport and Shannon has hurt her toe and needs a band aid because she's bleeding.

[C]

Heather's like, oh, my God, let me see if I have a blister blocker. Come here. What a mess. She is a mess.

[G]

The good news is we're going to get through TSA so much faster because Shannon already has one shoe off. Because Shannon already has one shoe off.

[C]

Hold on, let me unzip my suitcase because Shannon already has one shoe off. Thank you. All right, zip it back up, back up.

[G]

I forgot. He was. He was in the. He was in the.

[D]

In the.

[G]

In the checked luggage there. Sorry about that.

[A]

So they get on the plane, and it's a JetBlue ad. It's like, oh, my God.

[C]

Look, everyone has their own pods. If everyone has a pot, is it even special? Can I get a special pod? I ordered a better pod.

[D]

Wow.

[G]

Look how cool this is. You can put your phone down and it charges. I've never seen this on an airplane. Okay, that's a wrap. Now can I go onto my own private plane, please? Thank you so much.

[A]

She just puts her hand on the charger.

[B]

Just waits.

[C]

It's invigorating.

[B]

She puts her phone down on Shannon's head.

[G]

Is this the charger?

[D]

That is my head.

[G]

Oh. I wasn't sure how it works on a commercial plane.

[A]

So the flight attendant comes up. She's like, welcome, ladies.

[C]

Need anything?

[A]

And Emily's like, do you have a.

[B]

Valium, by the way? I. Which is like, shut up, Emily. But also Gretchen, who may have never even flown, let alone business class, just ever.

[E]

Oh, my God, they have earphones. Wait a second. There's a little tray that you could put your belongings on.

[C]

Oh, my gosh, Shannon, I'm so sorry. They don't have Love Hotel on the TV shows. Oh, yes. Yes, they do. You. You have to log in. It's here.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Shannon's gonna watch Love Hotel all the way to Amsterdam. She's gonna watch herself unraveling.

[D]

Shannon, that's not the Love Hotel. That's. That's the Weather Channel. Well, that was kind of my Love Hotel experience. So if you want to join my.

[E]

Journey, come watch a hurricane with me.

[A]

So, boom, they landed 13 hours later. They're home. I mean, they're home in Amsterdam.

[C]

So she's like, oh, my God.

[F]

Like, this is, like, nothing compared to, like, the words. Like, my last name. It's like my last name.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[F]

This is crazy.

[C]

I can't even say these words.

[F]

I don't know how to do it.

[C]

Oh, this is the shopping street. This is the place where you shop. This is Peace Street. Hoof.

[B]

Strat.

[C]

This is a great street. I know where I am in retail. Always. Always.

[G]

Oh, my gosh. This is so fun. Of course we're gonna shop. Of course there'll be some champagne and caviar for me. I'm so relatable to this season.

[D]

Oh, you guys. So we are in the city of canals. Root canals specifically. So I was wondering if we could find a dentist because my toe injury went up to my tooth, so it's. I'm in pain.

[C]

I don't know if any of you remember, but I grew up on boats. I started Boats and of Range for us to tour some Amsterdam canals.

[D]

Oh, hey everyone. This is the end of part one.

[B]

Of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King it's always a party on Alice and block.

[A]

Our way is the Amber way.

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Call Aaron mcnicholas She don't miss no.

[A]

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Has no less Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with.

[B]

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[B]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian I love ya.

[A]

Olivia Williamson.

[B]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[A]

Yes we can. It's Savannah.

[B]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[A]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors she's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[B]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

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[B]

Let's get real with Caitlin o' Neal.

[A]

Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[B]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[A]

Let's Go into the woods with Guy Tubbs it's our queen It's Queen Laifa.

[B]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen.

[A]

McMurdo She's a total knockout It's Katie.

[B]

Manock we love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al.

[A]

Kalani the incredible edible Matthew sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca.

[B]

Cloud maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we.

[A]

Cannot tell a lie It's Sarah Telliff.

[B]

Son Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plane we're.

[A]

Obsessed all with Tessa V she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys.

[F]

Foreign.

[A]

If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.