#3047 RHOSLC S605 Part One: The Fart of War

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Recap

Episode #3047: RHOSLC S605 Part One: The Fart of War

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: October 22, 2025

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Overview of the Episode

This episode kicks off the Crappens take on Part One of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 6, Episode 5—fondly dubbed by Ben & Ronnie as “The Fart of War.” The focus is a thorough (and hilarious) breakdown of RHOSLC’s current fractures, frenemies, and feuds, featuring especially sharp recaps on the cast's recent bickers, budding vacations, and one especially memorable argument over a fart. Ben and Ronnie balance sharp wit, mock-condemnations, sincere Bravo observations, and delight in the absurd, all while homing in on the show’s evolving “sisterhood” dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Heather vs. Lisa: Sisterhood of Convenience (02:42–03:30, 13:14–15:07)

• Heather’s “gracious distancing” from Lisa: Both hosts immediately clock Heather’s performative efforts to quietly separate from Lisa without appearing to be “the bad guy.”
  • Ben: “She visited Barlow as a friend, and now she’s like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore, but I don’t want to be the bad guy.’” (02:42)
  • Ronnie: “Let me pretend I’ve actually been this person’s friend the whole time, instead of actively working behind her back.” (03:18)
• Heather’s instigation called out: Ronnie points out Heather’s hypocrisy—she started the fire between Lisa and Angie but now is acting the savior (14:13–15:19).

Coffee Drawer Privilege & Mormon Makeover Show (03:50–09:39)

• Amused breakdown of Heather’s lavish kitchen storage—the infamous “Keurig pod drawer.”
  • Ronnie: “That is privilege right there, when you have your own drawer to just… pods in there.” (04:29)
• Discussion swerves into Heather’s upcoming “Surviving Mormonism” series; both hosts are skeptical, joking about wanting more action and cult makeovers rather than subdued interviews.
  • Ben: “Serious Bravo is kind of like… is a weird thing.” (06:49)
  • Ronnie: “Show, don’t tell. I want it to be like Apocalypse Now!” (08:05)
• Concludes with the hosts speculating if Heather ever really left Mormonism, and riffing on the performative and competitive nature of “Mom Talk” and religious trauma as Bravo storyline.

Angie, Lisa, and the Bully Card (10:10–13:57)

• Angie leans into victimhood: Angie claims Lisa is bullying her, but both Ben and Ronnie firmly side-eye this narrative.
  • Ronnie: “I think Angie started it—she was the one saying Lisa was like Jen Shaw. She started it!” (10:34)
  • Ben: “I don’t think Lisa was bullying Angie, and Angie is using the bully card in the classic Housewives way—excessively and unwarrantedly.” (12:04)
• Ongoing “sisterhood traffic” analogy to explain group dynamics:
  • Heather: “If you’re driving down the street, one car is going one way, another’s going another way, and we stay in our lanes because otherwise we crash and the sisterhood dies.” (13:14)

Planning the Below Deck-Style Cast Trip (15:19–15:49)

• Trip reveal: Heather proclaims she’s planned a Below Deck-style yacht trip and has no idea if Lisa will attend, but wants “sisterhood” unity.
• Both hosts note the classic “bonding vacation” trope and the foreboding that chaos will surely ensue.

Bronwyn & Todd: Ice Cream Parlor Misery and Marital Dynamics (15:49–35:14)

• A comically bleak scene: Bronwyn and Todd attempt a playful ice cream outing but hit only awkward silences, cherry-fights, and hard truths.
  • Ben: “These are two people that do not belong in Snell Grove. …It really did read as, like, mother—I mean, father-daughter. It was really weird.” (16:11–17:56)
  • Ronnie: “Some of us enjoy ourselves by not enjoying ourselves, you know? And I think that’s just Todd’s vibe.” (18:06)
• Todd’s surliness excused and condemned in equal measure (18:06–20:27), with Ben defending Bronwyn’s right to “be a Bravo lady” without being tamped down by her husband.
• Cherry-gate: A microcosmic marital issue—Todd eats Bronwyn’s cherry against her express wishes.
  • Ben: “She literally states her case for America to be like, aha. Now it’s been stated to the world. And he takes the cherry anyway...” (21:40)
• Reflections on relationship exhaustion, fairness, and emotional labor abound as the hosts parse who’s more at fault for the couple’s malaise.

Psychic Readings, Fart Fights, and the Mary-Angie Cold War (41:14–49:40)

• Mary & Angie’s “sisterly” fallout: Mary visits Angie and the two have a hilariously fraught confrontation centered on enduring feelings about being blamed for a fart at lunch (“dog fart” vs “Mary fart”). Includes accusations of “sugar-fueled bullying” and the threat of being “unmemorized.”
  • Mary: “You launched me like I was your enemy that you wanted me to have diabetes right there on the spot.” (43:02)
  • Mary: “If you want to accuse me of having dog farts again, I will unmemorize you.” (48:58)
• Despite the absurdity, both show rare vulnerability, acknowledging the value of their “real friendship” and deep emotion.
  • Ben: “This was actually a lovely, lovely moment.” (49:15)

Lisa & John’s Marriage Communication—Or Lack Thereof (37:02–41:05)

• Lisa packs for the yacht trip while receiving a psychic’s unsolicited warning about “communication problems.” Ben and Ronnie revel in how Lisa interrupts John repeatedly to discuss the alleged lack of communication.
  • Ben: “Lisa interrupting John to find out if they have A communication problem is perfect Lisa Barlow.” (38:23)

Storefront Sparring: Heather and Lisa Air Their Grudges (52:35–65:58)

• Heated shopping trip: Heather and Lisa recap their endless feuding—“good time girl,” “cup fitness,” “suit man vs soup man,” and the constant cycle of insult and defense.
  • Heather: “You want to win something, she wants to win something, and you’re both losing. …I’m trying to move forward with you right now with the stuff that I’m using to bring us backwards.” (65:25)
• Lisa’s class jabs (“Why can poor people start it but rich people can’t say anything back?”) dissected and ridiculed.
  • Lisa: “You want to burn us all… I’m sorry that I have a job.” (62:21)

Mother-Daughter Trainwreck: Britney and Olivia’s Public Showdown (66:17–73:41)

• Extended, cringeworthy scene as Britney tries (and fails) to connect with her daughter Olivia over coffee, starting with “steamer” talk but quickly revealing decades of emotional abandonment.
  • Ronnie: “Thank God for traumatic parents because they do raise great theater kids. …She has the charisma of one, the outfit of one, and she definitely has the voice of one.” (68:09)
• Both hosts express zero sympathy for Britney, whose self-serving explanation for ignoring her daughter rings false.
  • Ben: “I don’t have any sympathy for Britney in this situation. …She’s kind of a broken person. …But this lady needs, she needs help.” (67:31)
  • Ronnie: “You can’t really help a narcissist sometimes because she doesn’t even seem to get it.” (68:09)
• The painful family scene is presented as a Bravo-mandated moment of raw dysfunction—but also as a high-camp public spectacle.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments by Timestamp

• Heather’s cupboard envy (04:30):
  • Ronnie: “That is privilege right there, when you have your own drawer to just… pods in there. Right?”
• On “Surviving Mormonism” expectations (08:05–08:20):
  • Ronnie: “Show, don’t tell. I want it to be like Apocalypse Now, you know, running…”
• On Lisa and Angie’s feud (12:04):
  • Ben: “Angie is using the bully card in the classic Housewives way—excessively and maybe unwarrantedly.”
• Bronwyn & Todd’s ice cream non-date (16:11–17:56):
  • Ben: “These are two people that do not belong in Snell Grove… it really did read as, like, mother—I mean, father-daughter.”
• Mary’s “unmemorize you” threat (48:58):
  • Mary (quoted by Ben): “If you want to accuse me of having dog farts again, I will unmemorize you.”
• Lisa’s class-based frustration (62:21):
  • Lisa: “Why can poor people start it but rich people can’t say anything back? …I’m sorry that I have a job, ok?”
• Britney’s parenting failure (68:09):
  • Ronnie: “You can’t really help a narcissist sometimes because she doesn’t even seem to get it.”

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Important Timestamps for Segments

• 02:42: Dissecting Heather’s changing attitude toward Lisa
• 04:29: Keurig pod drawer envy and Bravo lifestyles
• 10:34–12:31: Angie v. Lisa—who’s the real “bully”?
• 13:14–14:13: Sisterhood metaphors and traffic analogies
• 15:19–15:49: Announcing the Below Deck-style cast trip
• 15:49–35:14: Bronwyn & Todd’s ice cream scene; marital woes, cherry-gate, psychic, and psychic farts
• 37:02–41:05: Lisa and John’s marriage “communication”
• 41:14–49:40: Mary & Angie—dog fart argument and emotional reconciliation
• 52:35–65:58: Heather and Lisa’s shopping trip: “Suit(man) v Soup(man),” wealth insults, feuding
• 66:17–73:41: Tragic (and operatic) mother-daughter confrontation between Britney & Olivia

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Recap Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie maintain their trademark irreverence, deliver sharp character analysis, layer in cultural references (from “Apocalypse Now” to “Mom Talk”), and pepper the episode with both blunt and subtle readings of RHOSLC’s social and psychological dynamics. Their tone swings from affectionate mocking to exasperated empathy—but always returns to playful Bravo obsession.

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Listen If You Love…

• Vicious but hilarious Housewives commentary
• Relentless mocking of Bravo “seriousness”
• Breaking down real moments of vulnerability, even amid fart accusations
• Sassy, rapid-fire podcast banter with actual insight about reality TV relationships and dysfunction

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For Part 2:
Look for the recap labeled “Part Two” to continue the descent into chaos and comedy as the yacht trip unfolds…

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End of Recap – Part One

Transcript

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to the Dulcet Tones of Watch what Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi, Ronnie. How's going?

[Ronnie]

Good. Welcome to the show, everybody. It's Real Housewives of Salt Lake City day. We're very excited to be here. Go check out our bonus. This week we talk about, you know, diets, we worry about calories, concerts, stuff like that. And also we talked to Leah Black on Crappy Hour. Thanks to everybody who joined us for that. That was super fun. This coming Monday is Amazon live. That's at 4pm Pacific time. And if you want these videos, these recaps on video, we do videos every day. Find them at Crappens on Demand on Patreon as well as our bonus episodes. Okay? Welcome to Salt Lake City. How you feeling today, buddy?

[Ben]

Feeling great. I really enjoyed this episode. It was a Nice kind of counterbalance to the last episode being so crazy. And this one's like, you know, people chatting. It's really also fun to see Heather trying to gracefully have a separation from Lisa Barlow. But we all see what she's doing. She's. She visited Barlow as a friend, and now she's like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I don't want to be the bad guy. So let me just, like, try to go around and make it seem like I'm the mature adult before I totally turn on her.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Let me pretend I haven't been. Let me pretend I've actually been this person's friend this whole time instead of actively working behind her back to get everyone to turn on her. So I'm not the only one trying to turn on Lisa again.

[Ben]

Yes, exactly. But I really enjoyed it a lot. And we also, by the way, we. We watched Wife Swap, which will be recapping, and I don't know if you mentioned that, but. Because I zoned out for a second. But which was all about Angie Cats. So it's like. I feel like it was like big Angie Katz Navis energy last night. I thought she was really entertaining. And, yeah, great episode.

[Ronnie]

Big Greek energy last night. Big Greek energy here on Bravo. So we open with Angie and Heather facetiming. They're both making coffee. Heather has an entire drawer of Keurigs. Now. I haven't seen that. You missed it.

[Ben]

No, I saw that. I thought the same. I was like, why doesn't she get one of those organizers?

[Ronnie]

I actually love her. I actually love her version of it. I have to say. Love her Keurig style. Because I can't find a decent Keurig organizer that doesn't make me nuts. I've tried so many different kinds. They take up too much space. They're ugly. I don't like them. But having a whole drawer, I mean, that is privilege right there. When you have your own drawer to just.

[Ben]

That's what I was thinking.

[Ronnie]

Pods in there. Right?

[Ben]

That's what I was thinking. I am like, the way I. The way I dedicate space to different things in every drawer of my kitchen, to just have a drawer. Dedicated pods. I was like, wow, she has a lot of storage. That's what that means. Because that's. That was so what my thought was. I was like, man, the way I'm tetrising my ice cream scoop, in, which I don't even have anymore because it wound up in the dishwasher and got ruined. But, like, when I did have it the way I would Tetris it in with, like, a garlic press and then, like, a spatula. And then she just has, you know, just like, oh, let's just take up all the space with some cape.

[Heather]

Some.

[Ben]

Some.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. That's a woman with not a lot of kitchen gadgets. I don't think there's a lot of cooking going on there. She's like, now that my girls are leaving, I finally have a Keurig drawer. Thank God.

[Lisa]

I call this a thank God those.

[Ronnie]

Little bitches are gone drawer.

[Ben]

I know. By the way, there was, like. It was a rather extended compare and contrast montage between Heather and Angie making coffee. I don't know why we necessarily needed it. I guess what we saw was Heather's. Was the Keurig was Angie's.

[Ronnie]

More.

[Heather]

How did she.

[Ben]

I don't even remember how she made hers, but they just was, like, comparing and contrast.

[Heather]

Like, look at how two different housewives.

[Ben]

And Salt Lake City approach coffee in the morning.

[Ronnie]

So Heather has whipped cream on my lip. More proof that. I mean, that's privilege, too. I mean, whipped cream on your coffee. What kind of life is she leading? I've never really been jealous of Heather's life, but today I was. I was like, heather is living the life with her big H cup. Because her name is Heather. I'm assuming that's why Heather. What if it wasn't for.

[Ben]

Or it could be a heathen could stand for heathen. It could have been a parting gift.

[Heather]

From the church because now she's hosting Surviving Mormonism. Please tell me how you survived the trauma of Mormonism. Did you write three bestseller books? No, you didn't. So have you really survived it?

[Ben]

I don't think so.

[Ronnie]

What's it like swimming without long underwear?

[Ben]

Oh, yes, that Surviving Mormonism is coming up soon.

[Ronnie]

I'm not watching that because I'm serv. I'm already surviving. You Surviving Mormonism. Like, I've had enough, but not enough without Survivor. I've had enough of Surviving Mormonism. How about you? Are you going to watch. Watch it? I don't know.

[Ben]

Like, serious Bravo is kind of like. Is a weird thing. It's gonna be a serious show where Heather goes and talks to people in interviews and then drives home and cries in her car about what she just experienced. So I'm not really sure if it's something I'm going to watch. I'm gonna. It's. It'll be a little tbd.

[Ronnie]

Unless they have, like, stories of, you know, like, the Scientology ones where the Mormons are like chasing you through the hills and stuff like that, you know, because those got really juicy, those Scientology ones. But I don't know, maybe. Maybe things will change. But right now. No. But I am jealous of your coffee drawer. H so by the way, it's just.

[Ben]

Like hard for me to take seriously any three part series that's about like, you know, ongoing religious trauma hosted by the lady who has a whole bunch of Keurig pods in her drawer. Like, I just, I don't know why. It's just Heather Gay. I know that's her identity. Well, it's just. It's just that she's silly. She's a silly person. And so to all of a sudden have this very serious show where she's going to like have her fingers on her chin and be listening and choking up and relaying experiences. I don't know why. It just sort of feels like a contrast to them. What, you see the cartoons of Salt Lake City, right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know, I just, I. I perform more of an action, more of an action type thing. Like I want to see you escaping Mormonism. You know what I mean? Show, don't tell. I want it to be like Apocalypse now, you know, running.

[Ben]

I think they've got to rescue. Actively rescue someone.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know, like throw a smoke grenade in the temple and go in there and get a bunch of people with braids and pull them out. You know, braids and flower dresses, like big love style.

[Ben]

Well, so.

[Ronnie]

Well, like maybe like more polygamist makeovers or something. I don't know. I feel like there's an angle, but I like that. Yeah.

[Ben]

You know, I would love cult makeover.

[Ronnie]

Like cult makeover.

[Ben]

People who've just been rescued from a cult and now they get a makeover.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Because Heather's always trying to kind of bridge her or try. From what we've heard on the show and you know, it's fragmented over the years, but I don't know that she ever left. Cause wasn't she talking about how she was keeping her names on the roll and all that, that stuff, you know, So I don't know that she technically left or she got kicked out when she got divorced. I forget the whole story of it, but I don't know, I would. I think that she still kind of likes it in a weird way. And I haven't listened to all the podcasts she's done. It's actually a lot of serious work she's done. Like we're just making fun of her. And stuff. But, you know, she's actually done a lot of deep thinking into this, but I think that she still kind of likes it in some kind of way. Cause she talks about it much. I mean, I think that there could be, like, a makeover for Mormonism. Like, I just want, you know what? Let's make Mormonism better. Like, what can we fix?

[Ben]

Oh, so we're just going to, like, ignore all the hard work of Mom Talk? Hello. They're revamping what Mormonism can be. Thank you. Thanks a lot, Ronnie. They're the patriarchy. Did you not even notice all their hard work?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I wonder what they. This documentary, they're like, oh, my God. How will this affect Mom Talk? So anyway, that's coming up. So they're. They're gossiping on the phone, and they're talking about Mary. And Angie's like, well, I sent her a message and asked her if she could stop by.

[Lisa]

I hope she can remember that she loves me.

[Ronnie]

But then she's still really upset because she's like, you know. You know, Mary's sensitive, but I will not be bullied by Lisa. That's not fair. You know? And she points out that she used to be super close with Lisa, and now she's super close with Mary and against Lisa. And it's just crazy, isn't it, this cycle of house Wyvery.

[Ben]

Do you think Angie's being bullied by Lisa?

[Ronnie]

No, I think. I think Angie started it in this. I think Andy started it this season. She was the one who was talking with everybody else about Lisa being a fraud and those stories, and then said Lisa was like Jen Shaw. So she started it. So, you know, I don't know that she needs to apologize. I don't know that it was that deep. But, you know, she started it. Now she's acting all belligerent, like, I can't believe you.

[Ben]

I think, actually Bronwyn started it, didn't she? Technically, I think Bronwyn started that talk. And then.

[Ronnie]

Well, she started it, but, I mean, the fight between Lisa and.

[Ben]

Between the two of them.

[Ronnie]

Right. Between the two of them. If anybody started it, it was Angie.

[Ben]

Yeah. I think. I think Angie's biggest transgression was. I think that she was actually totally fair. It was totally fair of her to say, you know, I invested money in your company, and you're not even promoting this company that you courted my investment for, and you're going off promoting a different company. I think that's totally fine. I think when she did say, it's like collecting dust in your salon. It's like, it does have to do with the kids. It's a gray area. I can understand the trigger there. But I also do think that, like, once you have that apology, they apologize at the table, at that one. At that one thing. And it should have been done. And then Lisa reopened it again. And so, you know, it's weird thing because Angie did. She did sort of like indirectly go after the kids, but it also felt like it should have been a closed case by then. So I don't. I don't know.

[Heather]

I think that.

[Ben]

I think that Lisa. It should have been done and put in the. Put in the past. And Lisa decided, know what? Let me go back in and be Patty again. So I do kind of put a little bit more blame on Lisa in the current state of affairs. But I don't think that Lisa was bullying Angie, and I think that she is. Angie is using the bully card in the classic housewives way, which is excessively and maybe unwarrantedly.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's like, you know, Lisa, I've wasted time and shown a side of myself that I don't want to see and nobody else wants to see.

[Lisa]

You know what I mean?

[Ronnie]

And so now she feels guilty for yelling at Lisa, but she's still pissed because she's like, why is it Lisa can, you know, hurt us all the time? And she's always busy crying about what other people think about her. But I'm the one who leaves feeling guilty because I could have handled things differently. And I felt protective of every one of us that day. It wasn't just about me. It was about reoccurring takedowns. You were all dolmas about to be dipped into ketchup.

[Heather]

Well, I don't need her to be perfect or be good, but I need her to listen to me and to just acknowledge something so that I know it's a two way street. This is a sisterhood. And it's a sisterhood that follows traffic directions. And if you're driving down the street, one car is going one way, another's going another way, and we stay in our lanes because otherwise we crash and the sisterhood dies. Do you understand what I'm saying, Angie?

[Lisa]

So Heather's like, yeah, if anyone's gonna.

[Ronnie]

Help her change, it's gonna be us, her sisters. We know her, we love her. We've been through it with her. You know, ups, downs, deeps, shallows. We're there. Thicker, thin, we're already halfway there.

[Heather]

I appreciate Angie's taking accountability and in my heart of hearts, I believe that Lisa is capable of admitting fault as well. And if she doesn't, well, I guess we'll just start the smear campaign, because we are a sisterhood, and that's what we do.

[Ronnie]

I love that Heather's giving this whole, oh, we're gonna save Lisa from herself from getting upset and causing trouble. You were the one who caused all of this. You were the one who took Lisa to lunch and sat her down and said, everybody was talking about you in the first episode, and you weren't there. Everybody talked about you. I was the only person who stood up for you. And that girl Angie called you Jen Shaw, and now she's like, oh, my God. I just don't understand why Lisa's so upset. We need to stop Lisa from getting so upset. You started this fire, and now you're running around like, you all need to call the fire department and put Lisa out.

[Ben]

Heather, you are so right about that. That is hilarious. I forgot. But she did. She is the one who exacerbated the stuff between Angel Lisa, because when Angie said it, everyone said, angie, that's not nice. And Angie goes, sorry, bad joke. She literally. She kind of, like, she acknowledged. Whoops. Went too far in that moment. And then Heather went and then still told it to Lisa and inflamed the two of them. Wow. So. So right.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's like, well, we're going on below deck. And when I announced the trip, Lisa wasn't even there.

[Heather]

Poor thing.

[Ronnie]

The sister missed the news. But I've spoken with Captain Jason and arranged to charter a super yacht in Canaw. We're going to the islands, so they're going to a super yacht. So she sent an invite to everybody, and we don't know if Lisa's gonna go, but we hope she does, because it's a sisterhood sisters yacht together.

[Ben]

So, yeah, she wants. She wants there to be a bonding moment. Now we go to Bronwyn and Todd, and they go to an ice cream parlor called Snellgrove. I don't know what Snellgrove, if there's any other meaning to it than that, but now is the time for ice cream parlor.

[Ronnie]

Eat your ice cream, Fatsa. Fatsa.

[Ben]

These are two people that do not belong in Snell Grove, because Snellgrove has all sorts of painted murals on the walls of children eating ice cream. And there's sort of like, general happiness and mirth. And then you've got Todd in there, like the angry Winnie the Pooh.

[Ronnie]

You've got Grandpa Ice Cream. And the girl cosplaying is his granddaughter, like, dressed in, like, a little girl's church dress in a gigantic headband. It's like.

[Ben]

Yeah, like a bow. It just. They just look. I was like, have they ever eaten ice cream before? Do they even know what they're doing? Like, they just seem so unnatural in this space.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Whenever people accuse you of marrying your grandpa, it's good to just go on ice cream dates in giant headbands.

[Ben]

She's such a. I'm like, they're just.

[Ronnie]

Such an odd pair of people. Not even that they're odd, because difference.

[Ben]

Or.

[Ronnie]

I mean, they are. That's something that contributes. But just as people. They're just odd people, you know, which I like. So here we. How many ice cream dates do we get between husbands and wives? On. Into it in bright pink.

[Ben]

Yeah, I just. I kind of like, she looked like she should have walked into the. The ice cream store with one of those giant rainbow lollipops that's the size of a head.

[Heather]

Like, it's time for ice cream. I'm rolling.

[Ben]

Like, that's sort of how she looked. And yeah, there was, like, we're very used to May December relationships on Bravo. But. But in this scene, it really did read as, like, mother. I mean, father, daughter. It was really weird. And I try to be, like, open minded to those age differences. But. But this scene in particular was. It just. It's just. It's weird. You don't feel like they interact like husband and wife. Sometimes it seems like, because he's like, a grump and he's sitting there, he's in the happiest place in all of the greater Snell Grove region.

[Heather]

And he's sitting there with a scowl.

[Ben]

On his face, eating his little raspberry swirl ice cream. It's like, could you at least enjoy yourself? Can you enjoy that you're having a moment with your wife? Your hot wife? Jesus.

[Ronnie]

No. I'm gonna take a moment to stand up for Todd here and say some of us enjoy ourselves by not enjoying ourselves, you know? And I think that that's just Todd's vibe. And also I think that Todd's a jerk to Bronwyn on camera. And I think it reads really scarily for their marriage. And I'm wonder she's divorcing him because it seems like she's kind of setting us up for that. But on the other hand, I do think that he's like, I don't want to do this show. I told you, I don't want to do this show. You're making me do this show a fucking again? After you've been crying ever since you stopped shooting the last season of this show? And now I have to come to this show and talk about these women who are torturing you even more and give you advice and act like I give a shit about these people? Why are you making me do this?

[Ben]

I think that's, you know, that's fine, and that's 100% his energy, and I picked up on that also. But how many times has Bronwyn had to go to work events for him and she had to smile through, like, insufferable work parties? It's like, you don't. We know you don't at least make an effort, okay? Like, could you not make it seem like your wife's job is the biggest burden to you? Like, she's bringing in money, okay? She's actually making up for herself.

[Ronnie]

I think, like, he may hate it, but, you know, it's your job as a spouse to pretend you don't hate stuff. You know, we all do it. Yes, I'm going to. You know, I sat through Shawn Mendes the other day with a smile on my face. You know, did I have to get high to do it? Yes. But I did it because that's what you do for people you love, you know, and they come to crappin shows and sit through that. I know, I know they don't want to sit through that, but, yeah, that. You're right. I think that that is what you do for love. It's like he made you back you straight up.

[Ben]

Call him.

[Ronnie]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin commercial.

[Ben]

I enjoyed Todd last season, but I feel like he's been. He's. He's exceptionally surly now, in a righteous way. Before, it was like he was awkward on camera, but I sort of saw some.

[Heather]

But, like, now he.

[Ben]

Now he's been through it, and now he's being a dick about it. And it's like, you know what? Your wife is allowed to make choices and allowed to do a TV show if she wants. And the only reason why there's any sort of, you know, embarrassment coming to your household right now is because of you. It's like that we're sitting here talking and about this situation because of your attitude.

[Heather]

Be.

[Ben]

Just enjoy yourself. Enjoy the fact that you're. Enjoy. You're having ice cream, okay? And then.

[Ronnie]

Well, also, you know what kind of bugs me about him is that he acts like he's so above the other ladies. You know, he's like, oh, I'm just so above this. Everybody gossiping and then.

[Ben]

And.

[Ronnie]

But he's not above talking shit about people. He's. He's the meanest husband on here to the other housewives and calls them names and says all all kinds of stuff about them. And he also seems to love to gossip about them. So it kind of makes me crazy because it's kind of that attitude of people who are above housewives in general, but then act worse than real housewives do in real life, you know? And you're like, oh, really? You're too mature for this show. Then you see them fighting over a football game. You know, we've talked about that a million times. But he reminds me of one of those people, like, you're not better than this, sir. I've seen no proof that you're better than this. So Bronwyn's doing your whole, like, I'm just so happy in this relationship. Yeah, it's great. I got myself a whole Sunday, Todd. A whole Sunday. You remember how I did that when we first got together, when I got this drink, because it has a maraschino cherries in it. And, you know, I get so mad when I have a dessert and then you immediately take the cherry off the top. You know, I hate that. Which is why I got a cherry and you're not gonna take it off. You took the cherry. How could you do that? Don't you.

[Ben]

And he just does it. That's. That's actually the most dick thing that he does. She literally states her case for America to be like, aha. Now you're locked in. Now it's been stated to the world. So now you cannot take that cherry because the world is watching you. And he takes the cherry anyway, which was dick. But also, Bronwyn, you know, you can ask for more than just one cherry. I just want to put that out there. You guys can get two chairs. That way you can each have one.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, make him get a cherry or order him a cherry or sit down and eat the cherry. You know what I mean? Instead of sitting there, leaving it on top and waiting for Todd to eventually get to your cherry, which you know is going to happen.

[Ben]

So I don't know.

[Ronnie]

There's so many vibes in here that I'm not even sure who to blame, you know, Because I get. I get kind of mad watching the boat. I'm like, neither of you want to be here. You know what I mean? Neither of you want to be here. It's like going to a restaurant you don't want to eat at and then you sit there miserable the whole time. Like, I drove myself here, I walked myself in here, and I ordered from here.

[Ben]

I. I've just never seen such a miserable scene in an ice cream parlor before. I just.

[Heather]

It's. It's.

[Ben]

I know I've talked a lot about being on my no carb month, but I was like, do you realize the privilege you have? You're eating ice cream now. Put a smile on your face and enjoy it and go to. Up to the counter and. Or get yourself another cherry. God damn it.

[Ronnie]

Exactly.

[Ben]

You guys can't even enjoy on the Sunday. Do you like the cherry?

[Ronnie]

I don't love the cherry. I love the stem. Because I learned how to tie stems when I worked next to the bowling alley bar as a kid. Because the. I used to cook at the snack shop and the bowling alley bar had a window to the snack shop so we could pass food back and forth. And they were like chain smoking. Daughters of Ed. Ed was his name. He owned the bar. And they used to show me how to Thai cherry stems. And once I finally got it, I don't remember ever feeling that amazing since actually practice, practice, practice. And then I got it. I was like, yeah.

[Ben]

Do you have to, like, clamp down some of the stem with your teeth or something to like hold it in place and you do the tongue to move it around. Like, how do you do it? Yeah, crazy.

[Ronnie]

Basically you hold part down with your teeth and then you, you know, you got to work your tongue. Got to work that tongue around. Move it around. You gotta really feel it. You gotta. Yeah, you gotta be part of that cherry stem for a while, you guys. It's like acting.

[Ben]

Be one.

[Ronnie]

You gotta get method with it.

[Ben]

So Brahman asked Todd how New York was, whatever New York is. And he's like, I was gone. And she's like, okay.

[Ronnie]

And he's always, dad.

[Ben]

Yeah, he was. Yeah. And he's like, they were God.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, okay, still alive. Good for him.

[Ben]

I know. I was impressed.

[Ronnie]

Good for them. What are they eating? They. They must be eating a lot of avocados. We were talking about how healthy avocados were before we started recording today. We even looked it up. Yeah, they're very healthy. I think his parents are even looked it up. That sounded the conversation. We were. We were like, let's Google it. How healthy are avocados for you? And we found out they're like, super healthy, you guys. So I think Todd's parents are, like, bathing in avocados or something.

[Ben]

Yeah, my. My poor friend AC is allergic to avocados, so she can't even get the health benefits. So tragic. It's not fair. So Bronwyn is like, well, Todd, we talked about you that.

[Heather]

30 seconds. You just eat the cherry. Why would you do that? Why would you eat the cherry? Okay, so did you like my. The selfie I took yesterday? My outfit for Whitney's. You would have been so proud of me.

[Ben]

I mean, I can't even imagine talking to, like, Dom like this.

[Heather]

Did you like my selfie? Did you see it? You would have been so proud of me.

[Ben]

Do you like it?

[Heather]

Huh?

[Ben]

I mean, I would definitely say, hey, did you see the selfie I sent you? I picked out a cute outfit. What do you think? But, like, there's just something about, like, how she's kind of, like, trying to pry out conversation from him that I'm like, have you guys ever talked before?

[Ronnie]

It's just a barrage of things he's not interested in. It's kind of my point. She's like, hey, did you. Did you go on the Instagram? Have you been on TikTok? Have you seen my selfie? He's like, no, I don't. What are you talking about? You get a tin type and we'll talk about it.

[Ben]

Yeah, she's.

[Heather]

Well, I don't think I raised my voice one time. I wasn't. I wasn't in any of the chaos, which was fun at this party. And I'm always excited to see where it goes. Lisa, right? And she came in and we were fine. And in fact, she and Angie got, like, really crazy arguing with each other. And then Angie was making some, like, really valid points.

[Ben]

Uhhuh.

[Heather]

And Lisa did, like. She did, like, dig stuff up on us, remember? She did do that. She does twist things that people tell her, and she does, like, just a threatening thing. And Todd's just like.

[Ben]

She's going on and on about this, and Todd's just staring into his, like, ice cream and just, like, eating it. Sort of like when, you know, when they show nature videos of, like, like, feeding a turtle and the turtles. I was like, it's always like. And you always see all the. The stuff in the turtle's mouth. And you're like, does the turtle like it? And you're not sure what. Whether the turtle likes it or not, but the turtle eats it anyway. And then it's like, okay, I'm ready for more. That's kind of what Todd's Energy is with the ice cream. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Todd just does not want to hear this shit. He's like, oh my God, here we go again. But you know, Lisa does dig stuff up on people, Todd. She sure does. I'm like, you just did it too, though. Yeah, but she sure does, Todd. And she's. She, she does twist things, Todd. You know that she does twist things. And you know she does this threatening, like, don't start with me or I'll ruin you. But you know, I heard Angie say at one point that I'm not going to be bullied by this. Like, I'm going to stand up for myself. I know you don't care about the detail. Oh, I don't care about the details at all. Let me tell you what I care more about than the details of this story. Ticky talky. You want me to do an arm dance? What do I have to do to get out of this?

[Heather]

Well, do I get a high five? Do I get a high five or something for like not being in the chaos? He's like, well, congratulations and thank you is what you get.

[Ben]

Like, Todd, you better not be dampening Bronwyn's star because, like, we've seen this happen before. This happened with Paige desorbo when she was dating Perry and some other people. Like, you know, it happened with Stasi and Patrick. Like, don't, you know, like, let our Bravo ladies be Bravo ladies and I. And to the Bravo ladies, don't let these guys tell you how you should act because this is your career that's going on right now.

[Ronnie]

I don't think he's really telling her how to act, is he? Look, I mean, look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put it this way. We all have that over dramatic friend who's constantly calling us my boyfriend or girlfriend, depending on who it is. Like, my boyfriend is, you know, this way. He's emotionally abusive. He's a jerk. He did this to me, he did that to me. He cheated on me, he did that. And you're like, you have to get out of there. You spend hours on the phone giving this person advice and supporting them and wanting to be there. And what's the first thing they do when they get the chance is go back to that guy. And then they come back like, oh, everything's great. We had a great time. It was so good. We had a. We're, we're back together. And you're supposed to be like, woo hoo. When's the wedding? You know, I mean, at some point you're like, how long do you get to just ruminate on this toxic and drag me through this toxic and our family through and cry and moan and this and that? And then you're like, everything's great. We're going on a trip. It's not great. Let's talk about Lisa some more. It's like, oh, my God, you know, separate thing. I get that.

[Ben]

It's like an issue.

[Ronnie]

What do you mean?

[Ben]

Because I agree. I agree with you totally. I think. I think Todd's totally within his rights to say, okay, like, I've warned you, Lisa's no good for you. So if you go back, you try to mend things with her, that's fine. But if it falls apart again, I really don't want to hear it. That's fine. I'm just saying that when she's like, did you see?

[Heather]

I didn't yell? Wasn't I so good? I didn't yell. I didn't get into the chaos.

[Ben]

Wasn't I had good behavior. I'm like, I don't want Bronwyn changing her behavior.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I see.

[Ben]

He's Todd. That's what I was saying. Yeah, but your thing. Your point was absolutely correct.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You're supposed to yell. Yeah, yeah. Todd's reaction should have been, well, were you going to work or not? You should have been.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Are you going to be in any clips if I do go on TikTok? Are you going to be in any clips from the show? No. Because you didn't yell at anyone, Bronwyn. So if you're going to drag this family through your drama, you better at least make it into some clips on the TikTok.

[Heather]

It's like the person at Spell Guard.

[Ben]

Saying, like, guess what?

[Heather]

At work today, you'd be so proud of me.

[Ben]

I didn't serve any soft serve. I was really good about it. It's like, what? That's your job.

[Ronnie]

Do the soft serve. Guess what, honey? I came home from building the house. I didn't lay one brick. Like, aren't you going to get fired? You're a bricklayer. Get back there.

[Ben]

Get to it.

[Ronnie]

So she's telling us, look, Todd is just over this group of women, and in his mind, I just can't keep showing up at the circus and being shocked by the clownery, which is fair.

[Ben]

I mean, you can't be shocked by the clownery, but Todd should allow you to go to the circus.

[Ronnie]

So I don't think anybody's going to be shocked by the clownery with you. You literally have a Dinosaur costume that your mom is folding up you go to the airport in.

[Ben]

I think it would be more shocking if you went to the circus and then it turns out that, like, Meg Whitman gave a speech. That would be more shocking because you're. You know that there's going to be clowns at the circus. So there's nothing shocking about that. It'd be more shocking if the former CEO of eBay made a speech instead.

[Ronnie]

Well, I think it's fair to go to the circus and be annoyed by the clowns.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

And Meg Whitman. Really?

[Ben]

I was, like, just trying to think of someone random incorporate, like, not. Not someone who does not speak of the circus. I was like, meg Whitman.

[Ronnie]

I love keeping it current.

[Ben]

I know very.

[Ronnie]

Well she does have MC Whitman hair, kind of. Okay, so Bronwyn's like. I mean, I did. I did have this moment of, like, wobble, you know, when Lisa and I talked last week, and I was really quick to just be like, I don't want to do this anymore. We could ruin each other. We shouldn't ruin each other. And I do stand by that.

[Lisa]

But do you think.

[Ronnie]

You think I was too quick to neutralize this? Todd? Do you think I should keep fighting with Lisa? Do you? Do you, Todd? Oh, my God, I love all these answers. Well, Todd knows. Todd's not going to answer, so I'll tell you that Todd knows me better than most people. And, you know, it's. It's just always shocking to me that he doesn't know why I'm still trying to be friends with these women. I mean, I accepted Lisa's apology, and I. And, you know, an apology is a kickoff to paving a new way forward, and Todd doesn't need to agree for that opinion of mine to be valid.

[Heather]

That.

[Ronnie]

I'm going to talk to Lisa again. So thank you for agreeing with me, Todd, that it's good that I'm talking to Lisa again. Oh, and this is the best part. Whitney had a psychic come from New York, and he's like, oh, for Christ's sake. What are you telling you? Lisa's a bitch. I could have told you that.

[Lisa]

Here.

[Heather]

Here's. Here's a psychic prediction. Good luck saving the next cherry till.

[Ronnie]

The end of the Sunday.

[Heather]

The tad monsters on top of it.

[Ronnie]

I got a psychic. You're not gonna be digesting the cherry anytime soon.

[Heather]

Well, the psychic, he started with my mom first, and he was like, this time. Like, this time, this is as recovered as she's gonna get, huh? And he goes, oh, well, is that his medical Opinion.

[Ben]

I'm like, well, you're not a doctor either, Todd.

[Ronnie]

I know, but I like. I like that she didn't give the full information because what the psychic actually said was something along the lines of, you guys haven't been checking the right place. It's actually something wrong. What do you say? Like, in her brain or something? Like, she's got. He specifically told her some other medical issue. And I like that Brahm was like, no, we. We definitely need to get her blood tested. You know, she's just like, well, she said that's as recovered as she's going to get. She's going to die sooner than we thought. So. Free. The whole thing was free.

[Heather]

Well, I don't believe any of this. I think it's all craziness, Todd. How could you say it? No, I meant crazy that yours came with a cherry and mine didn't. What is this place? I'm never coming back.

[Ronnie]

And she's like, okay, do you feel like you can suspend your bullshit meter like a second? Because it really felt like a warning. I mean, he said it's kind of time to, you know, move past this with your mom. And he's like, look, it's probably a 50. 50 guess, okay? That's what sidekicks are good for. They're good for guessing, right? Let me tell you what guess is worth a fart in the wind. That's about what they're worth, Todd.

[Ben]

Okay, well, you didn't actually have to fart right now. In the wind. That was, you know, this is.

[Ronnie]

We're trying to make fun of my farts. How dare you? That's divorce worthy.

[Ben]

You know, you're really bumming me out.

[Heather]

I'm just, like, trying to tell you.

[Ben]

Something that I really enjoyed. And I'm sitting here trying to, like, I'm just.

[Heather]

I'm just getting upset. And I'm just. I'm sitting here, I'm trying to have.

[Ben]

Ice cream with you.

[Heather]

You're eating my cherry, and I'm trying to tell you something that was funny. And you know how I, you know, because nothing makes you laugh more than a psychic that says your mom might die soon, right?

[Ronnie]

I was like, where's the funny part?

[Heather]

You know how I feel when people misunderstand me. And I shouldn't have to feel a.

[Ben]

Misunderstand by you, too. Like, I should have to beg you. I shouldn't have to beg you to think that this is interesting. I shouldn't have to beg you to.

[Heather]

Let you know that Whitney's psychic from.

[Ben]

New York said Something interesting to me at a party when we're all yelling.

[Ronnie]

At each other, and he's just like. He doesn't really say anything. He just kind of looks at her and, like, moves his jowls a little bit, and so she's like, well, I'm very accepting that Todd is less emotional than I am, and I would just love to feel the acceptance when I'm more emotional than he is. And I'd love. I'd love to get to a point where I, like, don't have to get this upset for him to notice it, but it's a process.

[Ben]

It's a process.

[Ronnie]

It's like you are going to hit yourself on the eyes with your. If. With your headband. If you don't stop nodding your head, it's gonna hurt. Maybe that's why it's so weighted. It's gigantic.

[Ben]

It's enormous.

[Heather]

Todd, I'm not telling you, he gave.

[Ben]

Me numbers, and I converted our life savings into a lottery ticket.

[Heather]

I'm telling you, if it touched something in me, then it's worthwhile, because. Okay, well, that's an awesome thing to.

[Ronnie]

Do, and I'm sorry.

[Heather]

She's like, oh.

[Ben]

And that just hit a begrudging apology from Todd.

[Ronnie]

What a weird scene.

[Ben]

It really was. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

I don't know. I feel like you should be happier than this in a marriage, but maybe not. I mean, I don't know.

[Ben]

I would think so, too.

[Ronnie]

What's it like?

[Ben]

Tell us.

[Ronnie]

Okay, so then we go to.

[Ben]

Let me. You have to imagine there's also some stress on that relationship with Muzzy hanging around that household.

[Heather]

Everything's fine.

[Ben]

Everything's fine, as her sweatshirt says.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, this is not a new dynamic for Bronwyn and Todd, and it's just one of those relationships you look at, like, how is this a thing? Like, how are these people doing it and saying they're happy? You know, because they both. They both say they're happy, but it doesn't look like they're happy. But I don't know. Maybe they're happy being unhappy. I don't. I don't know. Should she leave? I don't even know if she should leave. Does she like it? I mean, does she like being with Todd? Is he, like, really soft and cuddly when the cameras aren't on? I mean, I just don't know. I don't really get it.

[Ben]

I don't know. I kind of feel like the per. Like, everyone should be the same either way. Someone on Twitter says Todd loves his wife, but doesn't understand her need to be on television. And Bronwyn loves Todd, but loves being famous more. And then Brian Moylan said, absolutely correct. They now value different things, and I think divorce is inevitable. So there from Brian Moylan, the, the chairman of the Institute of Housewives. You heard it there first.

[Ronnie]

Well, that's. Yeah, I can see that. You know, I think that's a problem with a lot of these shows. You know, when one goes off and become famous because the husband is, you know, it's like if. Especially if they married someone rich. Like in this case, she's married to Todd, who's very well known and makes a lot of money. So he was kind of the star in their relationship. And that, that changed over. And I don't. I don't see somebody just being like, oh, you don't like tv? Okay, I'll give all that up.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. So now we go to Lisa's house and she's packing for the below deck trip, and John comes in with some suitcases. Oh, yeah. Hey, remember when we went on that yacht trip and I had like nine suitcases and I was like, this is nuts. He's like, yeah, overkill. Where. Where are you guys going? In Cardoan? Yeah. So I think it's like, by the Galapagos Islands. And then we see a map that shows that they are nowhere near each other whatsoever. Yeah.

[Lisa]

And she's like, there's nothing better than when you get on a boat and it's like, oh, I'm just thinking about a pina colada. And boom, you get a pina colada. Like, it's the best thing ever. So I'm sure this is going to be fun, but, you know, like, it's only three days, but I'm used to going seven to 10, but whatever, I'm going with four people. So that's how it is, you know? But I wish I had some say on the guest last because it would be very different. It would be a very different guest list if I had to say.

[Ben]

By the way, John, I forgot to tell you, I, like, talked to a psychic. Yeah. At Whitney's party. He, like, brought up, like, all. He brought up us. And he's like, do you guys feel like you're having a communication problem right now?

[Heather]

You know?

[Ben]

And John's like, well, maybe he was.

[Lisa]

Yeah, because, I mean, like, it like really resonated when he said you guys are having communication problems. Like you're not on the same page with things.

[Ben]

Lisa interrupting John to find out if they have A communication problem is perfect. Lisa Barlow.

[Ronnie]

I wish they just showed that scene, I think it was from last season, where John comes in and Lisa's on her phone. He's like, hey, honey, I was wondering if you want dinner? And she's just ignoring him on his phone.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And maybe we could go over our taxes later. She just ignores him, the swipes. He tries, like, five different things, and she never even looks at him once. And he finally just, like, shrugs and walks out of the room.

[Ben]

It's perfect. That is their communication. That is it. Yeah. So Lisa is like, y' all really resonated me when he said that you guys are having communication problems. Like. Like, you guys are, like, not on the same page with things, you know? It's like, oh, so what?

[Lisa]

Yeah, you know, so, like, part of me's like, you know, I guess part of that's true. I guess part of that's true.

[Ben]

Yeah. There's, like, not a specific catalyst for this. Like, it's been going on since before we got married, actually. That's because there's, like, blurred lines between business and family and marriage and things like that. And, like, knowing Ben Affleck and, like, I manage, like, the entire house, plus I work, and sometimes I just, like, feel like that I'm just taken for granted, like, where it's, like, normal. Like, I just. I'm, like, this lady who just, like, does everything for these people all the time. Yeah.

[Lisa]

And, like, I get really sad. And, like, when I get really sad, I, like, have to go to my car and put on a cowboy hat and a denim dress. That's what I'm wearing right now. I don't know why. Do you know why? Does anybody know why? But I go sit in my car, and I call my dad, and I'm like, dad, this is hard. This is hard. Hold on, dad, Let me open the window. And you know what? It's, like, sad. I have to call my dad to do that instead of John.

[Ben]

That's so hard. John's like, well, we aren't on the same page, because I don't think you want to hear what I have to say. Because you're already.

[Lisa]

Yeah, but, like, you know what, like, same pages, like, means? Like, books. I don't like that, John. You know, I don't like reading books, John. You know, like, I'm just frustrated, John. I'm just frustrated.

[Ben]

I guess what I. I want to.

[Lisa]

Hear what you have to say, John. I want to hear what you have to say.

[Ben]

What's, like, really on my heart is the following sentence.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I know.

[Lisa]

That's on my heart, too. Me too, John. That's what I. I'm saying.

[Ben]

I just. Yeah, I think that like.

[Heather]

Like.

[Ben]

Like I was saying, here's how I really.

[Lisa]

Here's how I took nine things on. Remember when I took nine suitcases on the yacht? That was hilarious.

[Ben]

Yeah, Well, I. I guess you don't really.

[Lisa]

Yeah. Joseph Smith knows better. I wish I could call Joseph Smith right now. He listens to me more than you, John.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Everything you do is perfect. It's just me. I'm the problem. It's me. See? Finally inroads with our communication.

[Ronnie]

Oh, geez.

[Lisa]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

So now we go to Angie's house, and Mary's coming over, and it's really awkward. Angie's like, hello, Mary. And she's like, hi. Well, guess you decided to open the door for me this time. And usually I have to let myself in because you're too busy to get the door, so thank you for getting the door.

[Ben]

Well, I brought you your favorite drink. Arizona iced tea. Baklava flavor. But they didn't have the one with no sugar.

[Ronnie]

Yes. This is like seven cups of sugar. Don't even drink that for yourself. Please don't. I mean. Okay, just get this away from me, all right?

[Ben]

Mary, you look nice. You look nice. You look almost Greek. You look so nice.

[Ronnie]

Thank you.

[Ben]

Do you want water? You want a water?

[Ronnie]

No.

[Ben]

You want Greek water?

[Ronnie]

No, this is water.

[Heather]

From Greek.

[Ben]

No water.

[Ronnie]

No water. Listen, I just stopped. I just stopped by to talk, okay? I don't want your water. I want your liquids. Okay? Just talk to me. I don't want liquid things.

[Ben]

Okay? Of course I had to make a snack. Here's a giant snack for us. Here's a snack. Do you want the snack? The snack is here.

[Ronnie]

Snacks. Eat that. I don't want that. I don't want to eat that. No, I'm not gonna do it.

[Ben]

I feel like I'm in the principal's office. It's like Principal Zeus is here, and he's scolding me. And I know what it feels like because I was a regular, but this time, I'm actually feeling a little bit scared.

[Ronnie]

Mary's just looking at her like, ew. Like, with complete distaste on her face. She's like, ew. Why am I even here? It's disgusting.

[Ben]

Mary, I just want to say I am sorry. I know that you wanted me to calm down, and I know that you were there and you were trying to help me, and it's hard for me to allow someone to bully me because I was so bullied by that you're.

[Ronnie]

Becoming product that you're becoming. That you're becoming the bully on the playground that you're becoming.

[Ben]

I'm responding. I'm responding. I'm not bullying her. I'm responding to dusty products in my basement. I was bullied by dusty products.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but you know what? You get so angry that you can't even focus on getting sugar free Arizona iced tea. And then you bring people sugar. And I could be dead of diabetes right now because you get so angry that you can't even focus. And then what am I supposed to do if I can't calm you down? Why am I there? And then you're allowing someone to get mad to the point that it's affecting our friendship and my iced tea. And that's what we have to talk about. And we, you know, it's like I don't even exist. And I'm like, angie, Angie. And you're just like, ah, you, sugar. Eat sugar. Eat sugar. Put sugar down your throat. Put sugar down your throat. You know? And like, you launched me like I was your enemy that you wanted me to have diabetes right there on the spot.

[Ben]

I was frustrated with the whole table. Okay, well, you're supposed to be my sister.

[Ronnie]

You're supposed to be my sister, but.

[Ben]

You'Re not my sister.

[Ronnie]

No, you're not. Find another one, Kay. Because if you were really my sister, you would be able to marry my grandpa if I ever died. But you're not. So good luck. Good, good luck here with your sugar eating, muscular husband with Louis Vuitton bags.

[Ben]

I don't want to be on eggshells, and I don't want to know there's not actual eggshells on the floor. Mary, I'm sorry. That was a metaphor. Did not mean to spook you. I don't want to feel like you're mad at me for being me, but you're different.

[Ronnie]

You're different lately. You are different. And she says that Angie's kind and easygoing and cool, but lately she's always throwing a tantrum. Now, I don't know where Mary was during the other seasons, but Angie's throwing tantrums every season. She's like. And that's a trigger. And you don't evolve by attacking other people. It's almost like you go backwards, you know? And I used to know a girl that went backwards. She kept going backwards and backwards, and I would tell her, no, come forwards. Communion is forwards. But she kept going backwards and backwards until she walked into the street and she got run over right in front of the church by a truck that was going forward. It was ironic.

[Ben]

And that truck fell into a neighborhood and that truck died too. She's like, Samara's like, no, you're in a space and I don't know who you are.

[Heather]

And you're a little bit mean. Like when you made fun of my.

[Ben]

Fart, you kept on making fun of my fart.

[Ronnie]

Your fart?

[Ben]

My fart. And we see a flashback to this, like, lunch that Mary Bronwyn and Angie had where Mary farts by accident and then giggles about it. And then Angie keeps on ragging on her about it. She's like, I guess we'll sit over there away from Mary's farts. Oh, look, there's Electra. Let me warn her that there's a smell of fart in here from Mary.

[Ronnie]

Well, first, first of all, the dog farted, not me. And then you said, oh, maybe that's Mary. And then you said, come on, Bronwyn, we better set over here because Mary's got gas. And then your dog farts. And then it smelled the whole house up. And then it shows a close up of the dog and the dog's like sitting all gorgeously. And then you blamed it on me like it was my fart. And I'm like, first of all, I eat healthy, okay? And my farts don't come out like that. And we should, we should know the fart between my fart and a dog fart. And you didn't even know my fart between the dog fart. I mean, what kind of friend are you think I just have a dog fart? So now you're just accusing me of having dog fart farts and I'm just supposed to be your friend. And then you said, oh my God, Mary, is that you? And I'm like, okay, enough, I got it. Next time I won't tell you when I fart then.

[Ben]

Oh my God. I was like, at first I thought she was being silly for the cameras, but then I was like, I think this is a real rant right now. Angie cannot. She's like trying not to laugh. And what's even worse is that when she tries to not laugh, she puts her her fingers out her nose. It looks like she's trying not to smell.

[Ronnie]

Mary, what are you holding my. What are you holding your nose now? Like, I farted again. I did not fart. Do not accuse me of farting. If someone Farted. It was you.

[Ben]

She's like, I didn't smell your fart. But you acknowledged that you had farted.

[Heather]

So that's why I said it seriously.

[Ronnie]

Like, if you farted, I wouldn't make fun of you for farting. And you don't even know if I smelled your fart before. And maybe I have, but I would never talk about it and make fun of you because I'm your friend. But you didn't smell my fart. You didn't smell my fart. You just said you did. And then you blame me for having the dog fart.

[Ben]

Just like. But I. But you said that you farted. I said, I have gas. Well, so I said, why don't you sit over there? And she goes, well, I was offended by it. Okay? So then she's like, okay, I think we have to end this. So she sort of takes her hand and she goes, I appreciate you. Give me your hand.

[Ronnie]

No, we're not ready. We're not ready. We're not. We're not there yet. We're not there yet. I came over here. I almost died of. I almost died of diabetes. I would have had sugar farts then. Then you could have come at me with sugar farts for sugar. Arizona.

[Ben]

There will be a day, Mary, when I won't be here to clutch your hand. Instead, there'll be a different lady here gutting a fish in my backyard. So enjoy this moment. Wife swap, 10:30 tonight.

[Ronnie]

And Mary is like, you know, I. You know, hold on. I don't want to lose you, but you have to understand me too, okay? I pull back in certain situations where I feel a level of disrespect, or I farted, and finally I farted around somebody and didn't pull back, and now I have dog farts. So she's like, okay. And so Mary talks about how she doesn't let people in, but once she does let people in, you know, she puts you on a pedestal, and she wants the best for you, and she wants you to thrive. And then she starts crying. She's like, I don't know why I'm crying. I'm sorry. I didn't do that. That wasn't me. That was Andy's dog.

[Ben]

Why are you crying?

[Heather]

Your.

[Ben]

Your fart was a little stink. It's kind of making us react.

[Ronnie]

How dare you accuse me of farting.

[Ben]

I live my life with a guard up because I've been dogged with gas. Lots of gas. From a dog. Dog gas. There's a difference. I don't have I don't have this often. Farting, that is. But also friendship. This comes into my life every 20 years, and I get a.

[Heather]

You know, I get a friend that.

[Ben]

I love, and I feel secure, and I feel like I trust you, and I can talk to you, and I can tell you stuff I don't tell people.

[Ronnie]

And if you want to accuse me of having dog farts again, I will unmemorize you. I will un. Memorize you. I like that. I've never heard that threat before.

[Ben]

I never heard that either. That was a great. Unmemorize your existence. And so Angie's like, I acknowledge you.

[Heather]

They actually.

[Ben]

It's like, that's a really lovely, like, moment, because Angie's like, I acknowledge you. You. This is my heart. Like, I've learned from you. I will work, be better. And I actually feel like this is, like, what you want from a friend is to be like, I'm mad. I'm so mad at you, but you mean a lot to me, and I want you to know you're doing things that are really hurting me, and that for. To have the other friend hear it and say, I hear it. I'm gonna work on it. Like, this was actually a lovely, lovely moment.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Ben]

Sometimes I was just gonna say I'm a little mixed on when people say I don't let people in. So when I do let people in, it means a lot. Like, I almost, like, don't want to be held hostage by whatever, like, issues you have with relating to people. At the same time, you know, this is. This separate from their. Their. Like, I think it was great how they made up, and I think it's.

[Ronnie]

Really lovely that, like, oh, I'm so lucky.

[Ben]

Yeah. Like, I think it's.

[Heather]

I think it's.

[Ben]

I love. I love that Angie respects this about Mary, and I think it's. It's good to respect that.

[Heather]

Like, it's.

[Ben]

You know, but. But sometimes when people are like, I don't have a lot of friends, so you've been let in. It's like, well, stop using that as leverage in our friendship, you know?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Well, for me, what was interesting about this is two things. One, Mary gets, you know, like, this, where she's just like, I'm pissed and I'm leaving, and she just gets mad, and it's over. Things that most people watching are like, huh, why are you mad at that? Like, even though she got mad at Angie, like, she got mad at Angie for being mad and not listening to her, but then she didn't have, like, a Fight with Angie, you know, why would you walk off? It seems unreasonable. This seems like too much. And she's always been like that on the show. And then on the other hand, you have Angie, and she won't forgive you either. Mary will take a long time to forgive, which is funny for a preacher. But then Angie, on the other hand, will just go off and go off on anybody. And she also really won't relent for a while. Like, if you come for her, she feels like she's being attacked. She goes overboard and just goes crazy and puts her finger in your face and does all that, brings out props, you know, does the whole thing. So it's interesting to see both Mary kind of forgive someone. Someone so quickly and also be so open emotionally, and also to see Angie not get triggered or whatever and start fighting and instead be like, okay, okay, you're right. You know, so it's interesting. It's a. It's a cute friendship.

[Ben]

Well, I think that they actually acknowledge. They acknowledge that this is a real friendship and that there's something special between them, and it's important to not just treat it as reality show fodder. Like, if something is wrong, if something is broken or someone's upset, they. They have to sort of stop everything and be like, okay, we have to listen each other. And I think that's actually really beautiful. I think the whole audience, we all pick up on it because, like, sort of circling back to my thought about how it's. It can be kind of frustrating that, like, someone's issues in life means that they get to have this thing of, like, oh, I don't let a lot of people in. So you've been let in. So now you've got to act a certain way can be frustrating. But at the same time, people have issues in their lives, and they do have their guards up. So when you have been let in, it is kind of special. So it's. It's nice to see Angie is taking that very seriously. And it's. And you know, it means something because Mary, normally, if someone pisses Mary off, she's like, bye. And we've seen it happen a million times. But the fact that she comes back and she lets Angie have it, but then she's like, but I love you and I want you in my life is a big deal. I think we haven't really seen Mary do that before.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So now we go over to Heather and Lisa shopping.

[Lisa]

Sorry I'm late. I've never been here. What is that?

[Heather]

Yes.

[Lisa]

Katie Waltman. Katie Waltman. Historical Katie Walt. I don't know her. Who is that?

[Ben]

That's someone.

[Lisa]

Yeah, I don't know that.

[Ben]

I think that, like, one time I was, like, supposed to come here, but, like, my yacht trip was like seven to 10 days long, so I just wasn't able to get here in time because I was still on the yacht that was going for seven to ten days. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lisa]

It's nice to come to a shop where people who only bring one suitcase on yachts shop.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

That's nice.

[Ben]

Yeah. This is great. A one suitcase, three day yacht shop. Yeah. Heather, you know about that because you went on below deck. So this is what it's like when you go on your three day charters. Yeah. So fun for you. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So Heather's like, wow, you look fresh and fabulous. Is everything okay, sister?

[Lisa]

She's like, I'm great.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

So excited. We get to use our passports. We're going on a super yacht. I mean, can I take requests like, come on. Like, can I bring glam?

[Ronnie]

She's like, no, you cannot bring glam. And then we have a flashback to.

[Lisa]

What are you talking about? I have glam in Monaco. I have glam in Central Bay. I have glam everywhere I go.

[Ben]

Oh, my gosh. So you're gonna have to help me with my makeup every day, Heather. She's like, well, no, I'll have Whitney.

[Heather]

Help you because this is a sisterhood. And each one of us will pick up a makeup brush and we'll do.

[Ben]

All of our faces all together as a group.

[Heather]

Cause that's what we do for our sisters.

[Lisa]

I'll pass. If Whitney's gonna do it, I'll pass. I'll pass.

[Heather]

Oh, then Angie can blow out your hair.

[Lisa]

I pass. I pass.

[Heather]

You don't trust her with your hair?

[Lisa]

I don't trust her with anything. I don't trust her with anything. She'll probably hope that my son dies while I get my hair done. Yeah, well, she's coming on my trip.

[Heather]

She's coming on the trip, so you have to be ready, Lisa.

[Lisa]

Yeah, well, that'll be nice for Angie since she's never been on a luxury trip like that or on a yacht either. She's never even been on a yacht per Angie, so that'll be cool. It'll be her first experience on a nice boat.

[Heather]

Yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna haze Angie as much as you two keep hazing each other.

[Lisa]

I'm sick of her attacks. What? She's getting high off of that. She can get off of it all her while she wants to. I'm getting a high here just being in. I'm sorry, what's this story Gun. Whatever. This Walmart is support person feel. I'm getting high on it.

[Heather]

I did not see Angie get high off of the attacks. This is a citron. We are here to support each other. She was crying. She was upset. To me.

[Lisa]

She was poor. Is she. Is she crying because she's a mean. Like, why is she crying?

[Ronnie]

Why?

[Lisa]

Because she doesn't have money in her purse. That's probably why. Like, why does she. Do you think she feels bad about being a mean batch?

[Ben]

Yeah, if you.

[Heather]

If you can't even understand why she's crying, it's obvious because she opened up the New York Times and did not have a bestseller book like I did. Of course she's crying. Okay, look, Lisa, if she's a mean. You're a mean. You're both mean.

[Lisa]

You know what? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong, though? Because on my opinion, my opinion, Angie shouldn't have been starting being nasty about my kids brand. You know? Like, that's disgusting. That is disgusting.

[Heather]

No, I know. That was hurtful. As hurtful as it probably was for all of you bestsellers.

[Lisa]

Yeah, but then she goes lower and lower, like, hey, you want to call me a cup fitness? I'm going to say it louder. Yes, yes, I did say cup fitness. Lady with the semi crossed eyes looking at me funnily. Who is that lady looking at me funny? What did you just come in here from the. From a compound? Who are you. What are you looking at?

[Ronnie]

Like, I just work here, ma'. Am.

[Lisa]

Yeah, we'll keep working, working, keep working.

[Ronnie]

Gene, Gene.

[Lisa]

Folder.

[Ben]

Okay, yeah, I'm just like, sick of her nasty, nasty dig. She's always commenting.

[Heather]

Oh, well, I think she's sick of your digs too, but I didn't dig it. Are you kidding me? What are you saying that you.

[Lisa]

About what?

[Heather]

What you're saying that you hate about Angie is exactly what you did. How was that? How is that what you're doing? How is what you're doing different? It's almost like Bravo needs a spin off called Surviving Barlow, which would be a spin off of my spin off Surviving Mormonism, which I'm hosting. Lisa.

[Lisa]

Well, how did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low?

[Heather]

Who's the soup man? Mormon? Did you survive it?

[Lisa]

Yeah, but she just said I cheated on my husband, though, so I'm like, I don't know. Why don't you worry about your suit man?

[Heather]

So is it suit man or soup man? You know, Sue sue that soup Sue. Or is it suit? It's suit, like sous Chef Sue Sue. Like a boy named Sue Sue. Is he a Native American sue of the Sioux tribe?

[Lisa]

Like, you mean food?

[Heather]

Like John Fuda from New Jersey?

[Lisa]

No, no. There he is, by the way. Shout out. There he is. No, but like a guy from a suit.

[Ronnie]

A suit.

[Lisa]

A kitchen. You know, like, not a suit you wear, but like a. Not like a Morocco suit you wear. Like, not like a suit you eat.

[Heather]

Oh, a suit you wear. Like a lawsuit. Like the ones that you have against you? Is that what you're talking about?

[Lisa]

Yes.

[Heather]

So.

[Lisa]

So, yeah. Dismissed. Yeah. She's dating a dismissed man. Is that what you're saying? Dismiss? Those were dismissed.

[Heather]

Learning that suit man is actually suit man clears a lot of things up. First of all, he sounds hotter.

[Ronnie]

Heather just earning those checks, so she's like, wait a minute. Who's the suit man?

[Lisa]

Nobod. Oh, you know what? And why did she say, I cheated on my husband then? Then why does she say that?

[Ronnie]

And she goes, but wait, but why would you say that? So, look, you gotta have Lisa credit. Lisa's being an asshole in the scene, and she's being an asshole usually, but Lisa is not going there with Suitman. We talked about on Crappy Hour, who Suitman could possibly be. That lady Sophia from who used to be a host on Call her Daddy claims that Angie was dating her ex, who they call Soup man, who's some guy who graduated with a degree in Greek studies or something. So that's kind of the goss on that. Just the Internet gossip on that. But she doesn't go there.

[Lisa]

She's just like, nobody.

[Ronnie]

So maybe she's saving it for later. I don't know. But then she says, but then why did she say, you cheated on your husband? Whitney was the one who brought. Wasn't it Whitney who brought that up with. No, wait, who's cheating on the husband? Would. Monica and Whitney were like, we know something about the husband. Don't talk about the husband. That was Sean, right?

[Ben]

God, that's so many petty arguments ago.

[Ronnie]

Because, well, Meredith said, let's talk about my husband. She had that. But then they had that Lisa Barlow event, that Vita event or whatever, where Lee, Whitney and Monica pulled over Angie. And Whitney's like, I think you should tell her. And then remember when she got. She kind of manipulated Monica into being the one to out this information. So they could all be like, Monica's the one who did it. And Monica was like, well, yeah, I heard your husband is gay. Everybody's saying your husband is gay or whatever. So she's the one who brought that to camera with Whitney. But of course, Lisa. Lisa has no chill. And it's so easy to blame Lisa for things because she never fights properly. And so. So they could just blame everything on Lisa, and that's what they're gonna do.

[Ben]

So Heather is like, well, there is.

[Heather]

No soup man, and there's no suit man. She's just throwing out and seeing. Waiting to see what sticks. I mean, look, there's a. There's a per. There's a reason that no one ever writes hard for you, Lisa. And I think it's because they've all been burned by you. When everyone at the table has a history with you.

[Ben]

Where are.

[Heather]

Where. Where have you got. You've gotten low before, Lisa.

[Lisa]

Okay, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go on the boat trip. That maybe I'm putting on my sunglasses now so you can't see me crying.

[Heather]

You have to acknowledge that we have come a long way, that our history is dark. It is, Lisa.

[Lisa]

You know what?

[Heather]

Dark, dark history.

[Lisa]

You know what? You should talk to Angie about it because she's more than willing to talk to yo about it. You know, you should talk to her in the dark about it with.

[Heather]

So I. I actually have.

[Ben]

I have. I have.

[Lisa]

Oh, now you talked to Angie about it.

[Ronnie]

Great.

[Heather]

You don't need to get. Get upset, Lisa.

[Lisa]

Yeah, I really did not think I was coming here today. I thought I was. I thought I was gonna come here to look at poor people close with that cross eyed girl over there giving me judgy looks. I still see you cross eyed girl. But your mother, your sister. Stop staring at me.

[Heather]

Well, listen, what am I even saying to you other than that we have history. We are like two pods in the same drawer for my coffee machine. We're in it together. We're in it. We're stuck in it. It. So why are you acting like this? Hand forward.

[Lisa]

I'm just asle. I'm just as low. I'm just as low. I'm just as low.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Heather]

You cannot expect me to just sit here and let you diss her and be like Audi 5000 and say that she does all these horrible things. Horrible things. And not look at you and say you do too. What you two are doing has no end point. You are like Mormonism and people need to survive you.

[Ben]

I hope there's a special about it.

[Heather]

That I can host.

[Lisa]

Yeah, you know what? Then, then stop talking about me and then I won't have anything to say about her. Okay, don't count my money because I don't count hers. You know, not that it's that hard to count because she has like $2. Because I counted that. Yeah, that would be so easy to counter money because she doesn't have any money. Yeah.

[Heather]

Lisa, Lisa, why when you say something like, I could counter money, it'd really be fucking easy. You might as well counter fucking money because you're not saying it in a way that makes you cooler or kinder. You're saying it exactly low. Like she would say, do you understand this, Lisa?

[Lisa]

Yeah, but why can poor people start it but rich people can't say anything back? Or we're like, in the 1% where it's like, you want to burn us all. You know what I mean? Like, I'm sorry that I have a job. Okay?

[Ben]

Oh, my gosh, the nerve of her to say this right now, like, in this poor person's store that, like, is for like three day yacht trips. Like, Heather, are you fucking blind and deaf?

[Heather]

Cuz clearly you don't see all the.

[Ben]

Times everyone's coming for me non stop. And it's hard with you. And I wish I had something that would go for the deaf thing too, because I said you don't see the things, but I'm just gonna assume you're not hearing the things too. Okay, that's my metaphor.

[Ronnie]

So we see, you know, basically we see a flashback to where it all began. Where Heather's like, how could you call me a good time girl? That could have. That would have got me susp. I did from school.

[Ben]

Surviving Good Time Girlism by Heather Gay. So Lisa's like, like, you know how much I put up with.

[Heather]

With Heather.

[Ben]

Like, you know, and I'm like, glad. I'm like, I could give you your book a title, by the way. Like, this is like. Yeah, I came up with the title, remember? Because she does. She does have a. A title called Good Time Girls. I mean, Good Time Girl. You got to be careful when you make fun of people on these shows. They take it over. Like, Like Luann took Giovanni, Paige and Hannah took Giggly Squad from Kyle.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, you need to trademark your insults on your show. You need to be like Dorinda and just run trademarks on everything you say.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. Don't let those disses fall into wrong end.

[Lisa]

Yeah, but you know what she does? She doesn't want anyone to say anything back to her. She does it to Britney.

[Ronnie]

Oh, wait, no one cares about Britney. Lisa, why are you even bringing her up? I mean, you said so many things back to her.

[Lisa]

She's like, you know what? I didn't say so many things. Nasty things back to her. She called me a cup fitness and I'm like, you know what? Thank you. Okay, roll call, I'm here. Yes, cross eyed salesperson. I said cup fitness again.

[Ben]

Okay, that poor 16 year old girl with the big curly hair and she's just like looking left and right like, am I allowed to be here? Am I going to outer darkness by hearing these words.

[Heather]

I'm not saying this to hurt you or this poor sweet girl who is sort of my daughter's age. I almost wish she would get out of the store so I could live my life. Life. But anyway, you know, but I'm not trying to drudge it up. I'm just saying it so that you can see that it's never going to stop unless we acknowledge it. And I say, and I say it to you. You know, I want to get this off my chest too. Because the most important thing is to have you at peak emotional frustration or frustration before we get on a boat and you can't escape.

[Lisa]

You know what? Like I'm, I'm like sick of being labeled like this. Like you don't feel bad? Like I think she needs to take accountability. And I told her I'm like, I just want to get back. I just want to get my kids product. I was just trying to be that nice, nice that day that I sent my assistant to wear dusty store with two built with $2. It was like in the parking lot, it was like under an umbrella. Like it was like the worst store I've ever seen in my life. Like there, there were like a bunch of bald people in there because she like does hair so bad. You know, I was just like trying to be nice.

[Heather]

Lisa, you're not gonna win. I've already won. I've got the spin off in the book. You're not gonna win. You want to win something, she wants to win something and you're both losing. I'm trying to move forward with you.

[Ben]

Right now with the stuff that I'm.

[Heather]

Using to bring us backwards. And I'm hoping that this trip will help us bring us all together the way so many of our trips always have. Traditionally on our show, if there's anything about a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trip is that it brings us closer and we emerge more maturely. But like, until you really clear it up or change it, it's never gonna go away. Lisa.

[Ben]

Ah.

[Ronnie]

Oh my God. Lisa's just like.

[Ben]

Well, one thing I have to say. Oh, sorry, I don't have to say. No, I, I, I, I was about to transition into the next scene and I, if, if you were about to say something about this scene, I didn't want to stomp on it.

[Ronnie]

No, I was going to do the same thing.

[Ben]

Well, I was going to say if there's one thing that the real housew of Salt Lake City is known for is chaos and hilarity. But if there's one thing it's become really good at, at are riveting mother daughter scenes. Because guess what? Here comes another one that I was not expecting.

[Ronnie]

This is worse than I thought it could be. Oh my gosh. This Britney situation is, I have to say, I mean, you know, I'm really judgy on this show and I get it. Like I'm judgy and, and mean sometimes and stuff like that. But I do try in my head to give people the benefit of the doubt. And I remember saying last week with Britney, with this whole thing, people coming after, you know, Whitney saying, no, you need to go, you need to stop dating him for 30 days and prove to your daughter. And I was like, well, but did the daughter even ask for that? Like, is that really the problem? Like, what is the problem? Because it's never really been explained. Britney said in the past, you know, I've chosen men over my daughter. Okay, well that's a bad enough confession, right? So it's not like I think Britney's so innocent, but wow, it's a lot worse than even I thought.

[Ben]

It's actually bad. It's, it's bad and it's sad because what it, to me, what it shows is, well, I don't have any sympathy for Britney in this situation.

[Ronnie]

No, me neither.

[Ben]

No, and I'm not saying you do. But what I will say is that it makes, I do feel sad for her as a person because she, she's kind of a broken person. Right? Like what we really do see is that like when that first marriage ended, clearly something sweet. Like I, I think she like, couldn't deal. She clearly had to like excise that part of her life and just like poured herself into a new life that she's been trying to chase this stuff. But like, this lady needs, she needs help. She really does. And it's, it's, it's really sad to see Someone cause that much damage on her poor daughter because her own, her own shit's kind of broken at the moment, you know?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I, I don't even see the like, she needs help thing. I look at it as kind of like a. You can't really help a narcissist sometimes because she doesn't even seem to get it. Like, she never really gets it. She can never really explain it. I mean, let's go on with it, you know, for people who actually need a recap of it. But they. So first of all, I want to say thank God for traumatic parents because they do raise great theater kids. Because this kid Olivia is clearly a theater child. I mean, she comes in, she has the charisma of one, she has the outfit of one, and she definitely has the voice of one. She's like, hello, mother. You know, it's like, it's like a living room play projected to the balcony.

[Ben]

You know, it really is. And by the way, something that is, I think also worth noting is that this mother daughter scene that is going to be very riveting and intense is going to play out at sort of like the high top counter on the side of a coffee shop full of like, lots of people just on their laptops. It's like. And they're gonna. And they will wind up like the daughters. Their voices will be raised, there will be tears. And I'm like, I cannot believe you guys are doing. You're not even sitting at a proper table. Like, they're sitting at that little side.

[Ronnie]

Thing like, which you guys couldn't even get a table. Like, oh my gosh.

[Ben]

So it seems okay at first. They hug, it's nice.

[Ronnie]

And Brittany, well, not really because she's the kid, walks in, it's like, hello, mother. And she's like, oh, hi. Hug. You want a hug? She's like, oh, okay. So she lets her hug her.

[Heather]

Well meaning.

[Ben]

It's. It starts off nicer than where it ends. It's like, it's, it's, it's. There's still. There are smiles that are present. So Britney is explaining that her reading with Terence was like prophetic. It made her realize that she needs to step back from her romantic relationship to focus on what's really important, which is her daughter. Is that prophetic or is it just not.

[Ronnie]

That's not what a prophecy.

[Ben]

Most recent person to tell you that that.

[Ronnie]

Or is it just something that's obvious and happening in current times?

[Ben]

Even Whitney could tell you to do that. She did, but you didn't notice because you were distracted by the pain you were inflicting on yourself by stroking a cactus. Stroking a cactus.

[Heather]

So Britney's like, well, so, honey, I got you a steamer. Do you get it?

[Ben]

No, I was like, a steamer. And she's like, you know what I'm talking about.

[Ronnie]

No, no, I don't know what a steamer is.

[Heather]

Remember when you were 4, you threw that tantrum. You said, I didn't get any coffee. But, like, really? Because, like, I used to buy steamers, remember? And that's why you call coffee. Remember that? Honey, you know, you don't remember this.

[Ronnie]

Mom, I was four. I was four.

[Heather]

Don't worry, I videotaped the whole thing. Because you know math. I know you love math, too. Remember the video I sent you about your math test? Oh, God. Here, here it is.

[Ben]

I can't find it.

[Heather]

Honey, it's in here somewhere.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, well, we were in Starbucks, and you would kick and you would scream. And I'm not kidding you. Screaming at the top of your lungs, I want coffee. And everyone would look at me like, what kind of mother are you? You give your child coffee? So, no, I didn't get you coffee. I would get you steamers instead. That was. Still don't get it, huh? Don't remember. Nope, still don't remember. That's pretty funny, though, Mom. Funny story. Yeah, that was.

[Ben]

This is all, like. This is. You're. You're gonna connect with something from her when she was four years old. Also, I just feel like reconciliation talk should never start with, like. Like, banter about steamers. I just feel like the word steamer does not really work with reconciliation. I don't know why. I think we already had a lot of talk about farts. Now we're talking about steamers. I think let's just, like, move on to, like, different words.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's like, that's funny. She goes, okay, well, she tells us that with her daughters, she got divorced from their dad. She desperately tried to create a perfect, happy family. So she married again immediately, Lately. But she was caught in this tug of war between husband and children, and she thought, wow, I can finally get to my kids when I'm a good enough wife. And then eventually her kids moved in with her dad.

[Ben]

I don't believe. Wow. I believe she was like, oh, no, that. That situation was a failure. But I've got a new guy now, and this will be perfect. So goodbye, old life. Hello, new life. I'm the new Britney now. That's what I think probably happened.

[Ronnie]

Or, like, the man left me. So I need to make sure that the man doesn't leave me, you know, So I need to give. Maybe I was too focused on the kids and now I need to focus on the man, the kid. The man left me because I was, you know, I didn't even notice what the man was doing behind my back because he, you know, blah, blah, blah. So I'm gonna keep demands putting the man above your kids. I mean, which she says multiple times, but it's crazy to hear this.

[Ben]

Yeah. And this happens a lot. I mean, obviously a lot of, A lot of kids have issues with their step parents because. Because a lot of times they're, you know, they, they feel like their parents have kind of abandoned them to focus on this new person. It's a, it's a, it's, it's a tricky thing to do that it sounds like Britney utterly failed at.

[Ronnie]

So it sounds like she didn't even try. She was just like, I'll get to the kids later. I'm just gonna focus on the man now. And to the point where they moved in with her dad. She's just like, bye.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that would. Britney's saying that. She was like, I figured if I was a really good wife, I could then get a. To get to my kids. I was like, no, I don't think you're adding this like little like twist to it to make it seem like actually the ignoring Olivia and the kids was act somehow virtuous. Like it. You were on a path of misguided virtue. I don't think it was that. I think you just were like scared that you were going to be left and you were. I think it's what you said.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two.

[Lisa]

Go look for the recap that says part two.

[Ronnie]

See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alice in block.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

Spell with Shannon Spellman let's share with.

[Ronnie]

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[Heather]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

And Gwen Pentland let's go into the.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Knockout It's Katie Manock we love him.

[Ben]

Madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it.

[Ronnie]

It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love for.

[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out.

[Ben]

Of a can and Anthony please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plane we're obsessed all.

[Ronnie]

With Tessa V she ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast Podcasts prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.