#3050 RHOC S19E16 Part One: Watch Your Tulip

Summary

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Watch What Crappens – Episode #3050

RHOC S19E16 Part One: Watch Your Tulip

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: October 24, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dive deep into the most recent episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC) Season 19, Episode 16, as the cast embarks on their Amsterdam trip. The hosts delight in the absurdity, drama, and pettiness that ensues, bringing their signature mix of mockery and affection while unraveling the complicated dynamics among the Housewives—especially as a social media controversy involving transphobia explodes into the on-screen narrative.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. RHOC Season 19 – Flagging Storylines and Escalating Drama

• General Frustration with Manufactured Storylines:
  The hosts repeatedly express their annoyance with Emily and Gina, criticizing their attempts to artificially create drama when the organic storylines have fizzled.
  • Ronnie: “Emily and Gina are just working overtime trying to start fights every two seconds. They’re so stupid. They’re so misplaced.” (09:00)
• Transphobia Controversy Goes On the Show:
  The hosts are both stunned and frustrated that anti-trans social media activity (specifically Gretchen liking problematic posts) has become a main show storyline instead of just internet gossip.
  • Ben: “All season long, people have been giving Heather shit… Heather has a trans child, and she’s being buddy-buddy with Gretchen, who liked all sorts of problematic social media posts… I did not think this was going to actually be part of the season.” (05:06)
  • Ronnie: “I’m not going to be tricked into liking Gretchen after some of those hateful… that hateful bullshit she has online.” (07:55)

2. Cast Member Dynamics & Critiques

• Tamra’s Long Game and Gretchen’s Fallout:
  The hosts frame Tamra as the franchise’s perennial instigator—capitalizing on Gretchen’s missteps and stretching them into further conflict.
  • Ben: “Tamra has been running with it… She’s been tormenting Gretchen and then takes this little inch and now has been just using it. And now she is going to try and, for once, once again…” (07:00)
  • Ronnie: “Sometimes you just don’t really care which witch gets hit by the house at some point. It’s just like they got one, you know?” (07:24)
• Emily and Gina Blamed for ‘Ruining’ the Season:
  The hosts repeatedly blame Emily and Gina for killing the natural momentum of the season and creating unnecessary, forced conflict.
  • Ben: “I really do blame Emily for a lot of the downfall… she was really focused on getting Katie out from the very beginning… And then there was a vacuum in the storyline.” (11:11)
  • Ronnie (joking): “It’s time to get on the scale and see, you know, see what my sins are for the week, I blame Emily and Gina. I just blame Emily and Gina. Get a nail in my tire? It’s Emily and Gina.” (10:53)
• Shannon - Still Essential?:
  Debate over whether Shannon should go, with both defending her as key to RHOC’s DNA.
  • Ben: “No, I think we’ve watched Shannon’s arcs well enough to know that she usually has some tragically awful season. And then… she settles back into paranoia and tragedy. So I think next season she’ll be fine.” (12:59)
  • Ronnie: “I want to see Shannon at the end of the world… I need to see Shannon until the last breath.” (13:25)

3. The Amsterdam Trip – Absurdity, Comedy, Housewives Antics

• Shannon’s Space Cake & Morning Chaos:
  The hosts cackle over Shannon’s high jinks after consuming Amsterdam “space cake” and struggling with ordinary tasks.
  • Shannon (Ben doing impression): “I don’t know how to open a window anymore. Do I crank it? Do I push a button? Is there a button? Do I pull a rope?” (12:12)
  • Ronnie: “Shannon, your issue with Lexus is your issue with Lexus. She hasn’t done anything to me. Nothing to me.” (41:34)
• Tulip Field Sequence:
  Scene breakdowns include Shannon’s slapstick mounting of a horse statue, faux-deep conversations about friendship, and the Housewives shrooming to “see vibrant colors.”
  • Heather (Ben as Heather): “Apparently when you take these shrooms, colors are more vibrant. So what better time to take them than seeing tulip?” (22:32)
  • Post-production flourish: “The post production team has a lot of fun… trippy things. They make a flower cry, and… oh thank God we have something to do.” (30:49)

4. Manufactured Fights: Jen’s Bridal Shower, Wedding Invite Drama

• Jen’s Bridal Shower as a Point of Contention:
  Gina and Emily latch onto Jen’s bridal shower—thrown by Shannon—as evidence of insincerity and “fake friendship” despite Jen’s own indifference.
  • Gina (impression): “Let’s celebrate with Jen—she’s still with Ryan a year later. Where’s my pizza party?” (35:31)
  • Ben: “You don’t get a party for realizing you were being a dipshit for a year, kicking out your boyfriend… you get parties for milestone things. Jen’s getting married.” (36:06)
• Who’s Friends with Whom (Alexis Wedding Invite):
  Confusion and circular logic abound as Gina and Emily needle Jen about whether Shannon told her not to attend Alexis’s wedding, illustrating their need to generate some kind of dispute.
  • Ronnie: “They’re just trying to force this thing, like a fight with Alexis, who’s not even on the show.” (45:20)

5. Monetization, Social Media, and Shade

• Housewives as “Entrepreneurs” and Instagramming:
  Jokes fly about Gretchen’s influencer status and Housewives hustling for cash on social media.
  • Gretchen (parody): “I’ve always been a serial entrepreneur—I sell Frosted Flakes… Cinnamon Toast Crunch… I got six businesses. Hopefully, that’ll always be mailbox money. It’s important to stand on your own without a man.” (53:31)
  • Ronnie: “Heather, who was trying to sell masks during COVID for like 500 times what they were worth… Heather is the actual wrong person to be talking about monetizing things.” (52:36)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote / Context | Speaker | |-----------|-----------------|---------| | 05:06 | “I really did not think this was going to actually be part of the season… And watching Heather yell at Gretchen, I was like, oh my God, this is… wild.” | Ben | | 07:00 | “Tamra has been tormenting Gretchen and then takes this little inch and now has been just using it. And now she is going to try and, for once, once again…” | Ben | | 09:00 | “Emily and Gina are just working overtime trying to start fights every two seconds. They’re so stupid. They’re so misplaced. These two need to get a life, you know?” | Ronnie | | 10:53 | “It’s time to get on the scale and see what my sins are for the week, I blame Emily and Gina. I just blame Emily and Gina.” | Ronnie | | 12:12 | “I don’t know how to open a window anymore. Do I crank it? Do I push a button?... Do I talk to it in Espaniol? Open Dharma La Windola.” (Shannon impression) | Ben | | 13:25 | “I want to see Shannon at the end of the world… I need to see Shannon until the last breath. Okay?” | Ronnie | | 22:32 | “Apparently when you take these shrooms, colors are more vibrant. So what better time to take them than seeing tulip?” (Heather impression) | Ben | | 35:31 | “Let’s celebrate with Jen—she’s still with Ryan a year later. Where’s my pizza party?” (mocking Gina’s party entitlement) | Ben | | 36:06 | “You don’t get a party for realizing you were being a dipshit for a year, kicking out your boyfriend… you get parties for milestone things. Jen’s getting married.” | Ben | | 53:31 | “I’ve always been a serial entrepreneur—I sell Frosted Flakes… Cinnamon Toast Crunch… I got six businesses. Hopefully, that’ll always be mailbox money. It’s important to stand on your own without a man.” (mocking Gretchen) | Ben | | 52:36 | “Heather, who was trying to sell masks during COVID for like 500 times what they were worth… Heather is the actual wrong person to be talking about monetizing things.” | Ronnie |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:15 – The hosts catch up on personal happenings before diving into the episode.
• 04:23 – Ronnie’s concert adventure and feeling old at a standing-room venue.
• 05:06 – Ben highlights shock at transphobia storyline emerging on the show.
• 10:09 – Reflection on the demise of organic storylines post-Katie; blame directed at Emily and Gina.
• 11:52 – Recap of day two in Amsterdam; the women prepare for tulip fields.
• 12:03-14:40 – Shannon’s morning shenanigans, space cake aftermath, comedic impressions.
• 22:32-24:44 – The group takes mushrooms before visiting tulip fields; discussions of vibrant colors and toe injuries.
• 34:30 – Back-and-forth about “fun clubs,” party entitlement, and faux grievances.
• 35:31-38:30 – Gina and Emily agitate about not being celebrated, revealing their true grievances about friendship hierarchy.
• 40:11-46:25 – The Alexis wedding invite drama; Gina and Emily gaslight Jen and Shannon about who said what.
• 51:30-54:02 – Instagram and monetization segment; Housewives as “serial entrepreneurs.”
• 54:25-end – Jen and Gina confrontation wraps up, with Ben and Ronnie summarizing the sadness of fake drama before wrapping for part one.

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Overall Tone & Energy

The episode is characterized by the hosts’ signature blend of exasperated affection, pointed shade, and comedic exaggeration. Their recaps shuttle between genuine analysis of behind-the-scenes machinations and wild character impressions for maximum hilarity. Ben and Ronnie’s love for Bravo is steadfast, but they spare no punches—especially when it comes to the “forced” antics of Gina and Emily.

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For New Listeners

This summary captures all central storylines and reactions without assuming prior knowledge. The hosts focus on why current drama rings hollow and spotlight the real roots of conflict (or lack thereof) within RHOC S19E16. Even without seeing the episode, you’ll grasp who’s sniping at who, why, and which housewives are in the hot seat.

End of Part One—stay tuned for Part Two recap!

Transcript

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That happens.

[A]

Well, hello and welcome to Watchful Criminals. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[B]

Hi, Ronnie. What's going on?

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

Welcome everybody to Real Housewives of Orange County Day. It's a glorious, glorious day for us. We hope it is for you as well. If you want these on videos, you find them at Patreon Crappings on demand. Okay, that's on Patreon. All our recaps are videos. Go get them there. And you also get bonuses over there. That's fun. Monday we're going to be doing an Amazon Live. For those of you who like to shop on Amazon. For those of you who don't, don't watch it, okay? But for the rest of you, watch it. It's going to be so fun. We do them every other Monday, 4pm Pacific time over on Amazon Live. You can get links in our link in bio on Instagram.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So go check that out. And, Ben, tell me everything. What's going on with you?

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Well.

[B]

Yeah, well, things. Tricks are good. Really enjoying this chaotic Orange County Amsterdam trip. I am really bracing for next week. I think it's gonna be. I think it's gonna be a next one. Not next. A rough one. I think it's gonna be a rough one for us. Bravo, people. Because I think that it's. People are gonna be angry, and I think it's gonna be. I think it'd be a wild time next Thursday in Orange county land and Internet land. So I'm getting ready for it. How are you doing?

[D]

Good.

[A]

Good. My niece and sister have stolen town, so I went to another concert with them last night. Their concert heads know what you call that. They like going to a lot of concerts. So last night I went to see Aiden Bassette.

[C]

He's so cute.

[A]

His name is Aiden Bassette. Some singer.

[B]

Is he related to Jacqueline?

[A]

I. That's exactly what I thought. I was like, I'll go see. I'll go see a Bassette. Unfortunately, he did not have the 80s, you know, haircut. Soap opera haircut, which I needed, but, you know, it was cute. Lots of screaming. There's lots of screaming girls. You know how it goes.

[B]

About to say, did he play against all odds. That would be perfect.

[A]

Wasn't she in there? No. But I felt, you know, it was like an old feeling. I was just like some creepy guy. I was like, well, this is standing room.

[C]

Don't you have any chairs?

[A]

I asked the guy, can I sit over there? He's like, that's for Ada. I was like, can I just fake it? Like, half of those chairs are empty. Come on. My back hurts. I'm old. Does that count for anything? But it didn't. So I just found every place to lean in the Fonda Theater that I could possibly find to lean.

[B]

You should have been like, hey, hey, excuse me.

[D]

I've played.

[B]

I played here before. Can I just go backstage and sit on one of those sofas? I totally would have pulled that card, and it would have failed immensely.

[A]

I don't think they cared that we played there before. I was leaning on the bar, Then I went to lean on a standing room. You know, anywhere there was to lean, I was leaning on. And then I realized, oh, there's a smoking section. I can sit on the curb of the smoking section. So I went out there and did that for a while. Talked to some lovely kids from England. Pretty cute. They love a Bassette. And then I came home and watched Orange county, and I was like, holy moly, mother of cannolis. That's where the trans. The trans. The anti trans likes are coming in, people. They're coming in.

[B]

I really. I really did not think this was going to actually be part of the season. And I think that, like, all season long, people have been giving Heather shit. Like, oh, Heather just being, you know, buddy buddy with. With Gretchen. Heather, who has a trans. A trans child as being buddy buddy with Gretchen, who liked all sorts of problematic social media posts about that stuff. And I thought it was just, like, something that was on our, like, our side of the show, as in, like, on the Internet, but not on the show. And to see that that's where it's actually headed for the finale. And watching Heather yell at Gretchen, I was like, oh, my God, this is. This is gonna be. This is gonna be a wild one. And I was also so mad by that button. Here's why I'm mad about that button. Because, you know, in the ongoing wars of Gretchen and Tamra, the wars of attrition, I honestly was like, well, we're gonna get to it, but I have a lot of opinions.

[D]

But.

[B]

But my. My. My overriding opinion before we headed into that final segment with Gina sitting in a hotel room going, I feel bad.

[D]

I know me. I know this stuff I've been sitting on for three weeks, and I've decided I'm not gonna say anything until, like, it's, like, appropriate now on this trip.

[B]

But is that, like, gosh, Tamara is so good at. At her. Like, it's crazy. Tamara doing, like, Gretchen has this petty, stupid moment with the boy band stuff, right? Where she says that Tamara had an affair. It was bad. It was. Gretchen should not have done it. They had just broke her piece. This was bad on. On Gretchen. Bad Gretchen. She was wrong. We all agree she was wrong for doing this, and she blatantly lied. Her credibility is in the toilet. But then Tamara has been running with it and being like, this is what.

[C]

She'S been doing to me for 12 years. How am I even supposed to forgive it? I can't even listen to. I can't.

[D]

What this?

[C]

It's visage. It's presentational.

[B]

You're the one who started all this at the beginning. Like, Tamara started all of this 12 years ago.

[C]

Did you get a bad cake? A guy called me up late at night and said, you were.

[D]

You were cheating on Jeff with him.

[B]

Like, all the way back then. Tamara has been tormenting Gretchen and. And then Tamara now takes this little inch and now has been just using it. And now she is going to. She is going to try and for once, once again.

[A]

Yeah, well, Gretchen deserves it. You know, sometimes you just. You don't really care which witch gets hit by the house at some point. It's just like they got one, you know?

[B]

Well, I guess what I was.

[A]

You have to take what you can get.

[B]

I guess. I guess. I guess what I was saying is I was upset because I was going to get all righteous about that and be like, this is classic Tamara. I'm like, yeah, Gretchen. Gretchen is. Has all sorts of issues with the truth, but in this case, Tamara is. And I'm a little bit more on Team Gretchen. And then of course, they come in with this last segment. You're like, well, no, I guess I'm not. I guess I'm not Team Gretchen after all. I forgot about that part.

[A]

Well, yeah, I mean, I already already went off on Gretchen earlier this season about this stuff, and I. I too, am shocked that they're bringing it on the show because I was going off thinking, oh, they would never bring this on the show. And. But I'm not going to be tricked into liking Gretchen after some of those hateful. That hateful bullshit she has online, you.

[B]

Know, so it's not so much liking Gretchen. It's more like I sort of do like a separation of church and state when it comes to watching the Housewives sometimes where it's like there's the. The problematic that they get into off camera and then there's the. They get to. On into on camera. And I try to kind of just be like, this is just. I'm going to just like, go with what the show is presenting to me as just like a viewer. I try, don't always succeed. But now it's like, oh, that off camera is on the show. So it's like you can't really, you know, turn a blind eye.

[A]

Yeah, I just get mad when it comes out, you know, because I'm different. I read a lot more of this crap online, too. I'm a lot more obsessed with that stuff than you are in general. I'm just that kind of person. So I'm already. I've already been pissed. So I'm like, oh, my God, what are we watching last season? You know, because I've, like, calmed down a little bit because I've already gotten so pissed. So I'm like, what is this a repeat? But no, it's not. It's fresh. So let's get in and you know, and it came at a time also where the show is really just struggling. I mean, at this point, they have nothing to fight about. They are trying. Emily and Gina are just working overtime trying to start fights every two seconds. They're so stupid. They're so misplaced. These two need to get a life, you know? And so the whole episode, I'm just so frustrated with Gina and Emily. Like, you guys are killing this show. Just relax and let things happen naturally. And if it's not a fight, then it'll be something else entertaining. But you don't have to try so hard. It's so fucking frustrating. And. And then, boom, you know, this is how that ends. So I guess that'll take us through to the rest of the season. So. I don't know. I think it's a mix of a lot of things. It's a. Don't piss off Tamara because, you know, she's had that in her. She's had that in her arsenal for a while. And all of them have had this in their arsenal for a while. It's not like just a few people were reading it on Instagram. This. This has been all over the place for a long time. So, you know, I think it's a mixture of that and the producers being like, we've got nothing. All right, bring it out. Bring out the tweets. Dun dun.

[B]

Because they ran Katie off the show, they ran their central storyline off the show, and now they are just kind of like. They've just kind of like. They're. They're trying to treading water. Like, let's see if we can get. Like, let's see if we can get a Shannon and Tamara feud to go. But that one really hasn't quite. It just hasn't taken off. I mean, Shannon is. I don't know what's going on with Shannon this season. She's, like, a little in her own box doing wacky things, and she's not really. She's not really popping. And it's just crazy because she had such a strong season last year, and she has such a strong season on Love. Love Hotel coming into the season. And then this season happened, and she's just sort of kind of flopping a bit, which is shocking for Shannon. And they just. Yeah, they're not. I blame Emily and Gina. I think they kind of ruined the season.

[D]

Just.

[A]

I find that to be easier. You know, the same thing happens on tax day. It's time to pay the taxes. I blame Emily and Gina. You know, Know, it's time to get on the scale and see, you know, see what my sins are. For the week, I blame Emily and Gina. I just blame Emily and Gina. But get a, get a nail in my tire. It's Emily and Gina.

[C]

I feel, I feel me.

[B]

I actually really do blame Emily for a lot of the downfall of this season, because I do think that she was really very, very focused on getting Katie out from the very beginning. She was. She was problematically focused on it, I think. And, and then when she did, then there was a vacuum in the storyline. I mean, everything just kind of collapsed. And so I've enjoyed it. I've actually really enjoyed it even after Katie's been gone. But, like, you can't deny that a lot of the momentum that was so compelling about the season kind of just, like, went away. And now we just have this. Now we have Emily and Gina. Okay, I know we got started. I, I. You keep on trying to start the podcast, and I keep on going into, like, chit chat about it, but let's start. Let's start the recap.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Day two of Amsterdam.

[C]

Time to put our makeup on.

[A]

Shannon's room is a hellhole, of course, and it's just a wacky Shannon scene, you know, while she talks about how she was so high.

[C]

Well, I don't know the level of highness, but I'm definitely still feeling the effects of space cake.

[A]

And it's like, look at this.

[C]

I don't know how to open a window anymore. Do I crank it? Do I push a button? Is there a button? Do I pull a rope? Do I talk to it in Hispaniol? Open Dharma La Windola.

[B]

So, Shannon, you were really. That, that hashish really affected you.

[D]

Oh, no, that was fine. It was just all those carbs. It's just I don't really know what to do with myself. A lot's taken one night.

[C]

This is croissant high.

[A]

And then she's trying to put on iPad.

[C]

She's like, do these go on my nose? Well, I don't even remember where an iPad goes.

[D]

I put them over my eyes.

[C]

I can't see. I can't see. I put under eye pads on my eyeballs. Boom.

[A]

I just falling down. I just want.

[D]

I just.

[B]

A house facade falls over her. She's like Buster Keaton now. Yeah, I will say that A lot of people are saying, like, it's maybe time for Shannon to go. No, I think we've watched Shannon's arcs well enough to know that she usually has some tragically awful season. And then she has her overcompensating. I'm actually a really fun lady season and. And then she settles back into paranoia and tragedy. So I think next season she'll be fine.

[A]

I want to see Shannon at the end of the world. Okay? I want. I want it to be like 50 years later and see Shannon, you know, in some decrepit home. I don't even care if she can't walk, speak, whatever. I just need her there. I need to see Shannon until the last breath. Okay?

[B]

Yeah. I get so mad when people say it's time for Shannon to go. I'm like, how dare you? You don't even understand. Like, yes, she's sort of having a non compelling season, but this is a woman who gives and gives and gives. And when she, like, she's just trying to be a happy, go, lucky person this season, I'm telling you, it will go away and she will go back to being a lunatic. Wonderful. Yeah.

[A]

You just got to be patient. It's like an orchid. They look like they're dead, but they just come back sometimes. I keep telling myself that, but yeah. One of my friends, Stephanie, texts me all the time and she's like, I can't believe you are standing up for Shannon. I'm so sick of Shannon. She's. How could you stick up for her?

[C]

She's crazy.

[A]

And I just write back, yes, she's a drunk. Yes, she's a mess.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, yes, you're. You're exactly, you know, you're laying out why I love the woman.

[B]

Okay? Yeah. Also, I'm like, I will never. Can't stop. Won't stop. And I will never, ever forgive Bravo if they ever get rid of Shannon before they get rid of Emily and. Or Gina. Like, if that happens, something is really wrong over at that network, okay? Because that. That would be a travesty.

[A]

So, you know, this has nothing to do with anything. And I'm sorry. It won't take long, everybody. But I was watching the seminal film K Pop Demon Hunters yesterday because I. Or a couple days ago because I had to show my niece and my sister, because I loved it. I just loved it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's one of my favorite things. Of all times. Loved it. So I was showing it to them and of course they were totally blase. They're like, whatever, great. Thanks. I noticed that at the very end, I was reading the credits because that's how much I love it. I was like reading the credits of K Pop Demon Hunters. Alex Baskin is a producer on K Pop Demon Hunters. That Guys everywhere.

[B]

Wow. He's set for life now. I mean, he was already set for life, but now he's.

[A]

How.

[B]

Wow. Wow.

[A]

No, he's already set for life. He's a.

[B]

Will there be a Baskin Rose?

[A]

Actual Baskin Robbins kid. You know, that's true.

[B]

He is actually a bat. Like, he's a Nepo. He's a. Yeah, he's a delicious Nepo baby.

[A]

What? A what? A 30. 31 flavored Nepo Baby. But, yeah, that. He's a producer of this show, for those of you who don't know. But, yeah, that was crazy.

[B]

Okay, so is that Alex Baskin? K Pop Demon Hunters?

[A]

What are you looking at?

[B]

Right? Yeah, I just want.

[A]

I know.

[C]

You have to.

[D]

There's a.

[B]

There's actually a whole Reddit thread.

[A]

I do have kind of delusional thinking where I'll. You know, I remember things incorrectly. It's important to Google me. I'm not offended.

[B]

Oh, wait, wait.

[A]

Is it a different Alex Baskin?

[B]

Well, you know, Reddit has all the answers, so there is a thread about this from a month ago. Oh, my God, Ronnie, you're so late. Banner pump and K Pop Demon Hunter connection, question mark. So a user says. So I was rewatching K Pop Demon Hunter for the millionth time, and when the credits rolled, I saw a familiar name, Alex Basket as a production manager for that movie. Well, there. That's production manager.

[A]

Oh, production manager.

[B]

That's different.

[A]

I just saw Alex Baskin. I didn't actually read it.

[B]

Someone else saw it, too, and it turns out there's two Alex Baskins. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

[A]

Well, actually, I'm glad you Googled it, because, you see, I would have next. You know, I would have maybe seen him in Bravocon and been like, oh, my God, your best work ever. K Pop Demon Hunters. Amazing. He would have been like, that's not me, but thanks for dissing everything else I've ever done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, everybody, false alarm. Let's go back to the regularly scheduled program.

[B]

I was trying to come up with a pun for K Pop Demon Hunters that's somehow related to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I just couldn't do it.

[A]

Kyle, Trans hate tweet. Demon Hunters. Here we are. We're back. That's us. So, Emily, it's like, wacky makeup session. And we go see what Emily and Gina are doing to get ready, and.

[C]

Gina's like, do you have a Q tub? Do you have a Q tub?

[A]

And Emily's like, no, I won't give you a Q tub. So you know they're earning their money as well. At least you got Shannon doing tricks over there, putting under iPads on her eyeballs. What are you two doing? Yeah, your Q tip. Comedy. Fuck out of here.

[B]

So people are meeting in the lobby and complimenting each other. And Gretchen tells Heather she looks pretty. And Heather tells Gretchen she's pretty and she's like, Tulip Barbie. Jen, you look like tulip Barbie because you look like a Barbie doll, but you also look appropriate for visiting a tulip.

[C]

I have never been to a tulip field.

[A]

Like, well, okay.

[B]

That was expository information.

[A]

Alfredo, please, can we have a location? A location? Anywhere you want.

[C]

Okay. Mall.

[A]

No, that doesn't work.

[B]

Grocery store?

[A]

No. No, that doesn't work. Bus station? No, thank you. We're looking for tulip field. Just say tulip field.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay. I have never been to a tulip field. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you. Groundling's greatest Alfredo is not as good when I have to do the badumpcha. Okay. Stick with it.

[A]

I need to get that badumcha on my side too.

[D]

I'll send.

[A]

It's very stressful plan the badamcha with you.

[B]

I like to add the badamcha in sort of like with bad timing too, because I feel like that's probably what it would be like would be Alfredo, like, because Alfredo's also cleaning the windows and she's like, get down from there. Badum to me. Okay.

[A]

Practical. Get down here. Badamcha me. So. But Shannon. Shannon comes down barefoot, and Heather's like, why are we walking barefoot in foreign lands? And Shannon has hurt her toe.

[C]

She's like, I stubbed my toes and my shoe is too tight. And then I tried to. Tried to wear the hotel phone as my shoe. And then it started ringing in the elevator.

[D]

Heather, can you. Can you tell your man to do the. To do the thing?

[B]

No.

[C]

No.

[B]

You have not trained for comedy. So therefore, you will just have to make your own jokes and make your own sound effects.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

There are no badumptas for non comedians. Sorry, Sorry.

[B]

You have to be accepted into the Groundlings in order to have a badumptia. Thank you.

[A]

I was so excited not to travel with toddlers anymore. And then I met Shannon. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[B]

Okay, Alfredo, we're back. I appreciate that. Thank you.

[A]

So she's brought mushrooms because, you know, she's still really groovy. Heather. Guys, she's super cool and she has a sexy room with her husband. In case you didn't know, whole penthouse suite, just have sexy time with mama Elsa face Terry. And she also does, like, fun drugs. So she's got mushrooms, guys. She's like, chatgpt says we need 3.

[C]

To 4 grams each.

[B]

And then at 4 grams, that is the amount of grams that you need to have a fun time. Because I am a fun mom. Fun Heather Dubrow is here. Remember my sleepover when we all had very distinct things that we had to do, and then we woke up and someone cooked us plain eggs? That was so fun, everyone. I am fun this season.

[A]

What do you even ask Chat GPT? Like, how many shrooms does my mom need to feel cool?

[B]

Yeah, ChatGPT will be like, great question. I love that Most people recommend 4 grams, but really, it's up to you.

[D]

Any other questions?

[A]

Four grams should work. Plus a sexy room. And you know what else was her. What else did I just say was her thing? My sexy room. My weed. My weed. My marriage.

[C]

One.

[A]

So. Oh, and a Gramley's class. So Shanna's like.

[B]

How many grams of mushrooms do I need to make my mom feel cool? Make my mom feel cool? I'm just asking AI right now. And AI said, supposed to use that.

[A]

You're gonna get in trouble.

[B]

Okay, well, of course. But now I want to know something.

[A]

You already wasted the water, so just tell me the answer.

[B]

I'd be happy to help you cook something with mushrooms for your mom.

[C]

That's.

[B]

That's actually like, Heather bro is doing AI right now. Oh, you'd like to use mushrooms? Shall we make a risotto?

[C]

And Gina's like, oh, Heather is the mom. Heather's the. The lady that my mom warned me about in high school and no one would suspect.

[A]

So Gina's super cool, too. So they take shrooms, guys. And Heather's like, apparently when you take these shrooms, colors are more vibrant. So what better time to take them than seeing Tula?

[C]

You want to see a vibrant color? Look at my to. It's blue. I think it's blue talking to me.

[D]

My toe is talking to me, and it's saying, ow, Ow. Wait, what is that saying, David? Here lies Shannon Bedor's toe, killed by a sandal that looked a lot like.

[C]

That slut on the beach.

[A]

So they get in two separate vans because it's housewives, so we gotta talk shit about each other in each van. And Jen and Shannon are in one talking about Shannon's boobs, how big they look.

[C]

And Shannon's like, oh, it's called A falsely bra. I think. I think that's what it's called, a falsely bra. It hides the fat in your back. Can you see any fat in my back? I can't. So that's the important part. I love Spanx. I just. I wish they were even tighter. So spinks till I die.

[B]

Is it really called the falsely bra?

[A]

Falsely bra, something. I couldn't understand what it. What it was, so I just phonetically wrote it down.

[B]

Oh, okay. I was like, could you imagine a falsely? It's like, this bra is a false bra. Just like your boobs just come flying out. So Jen's like, I mean, what if.

[D]

You met a man? I mean, a man, and he wants to feel you and grabbed your ass and it's all smushed in there. I mean, it's just not hot.

[B]

I'm like, I guarantee the man's probably doesn't at that point. The man doesn't care. He just wants to get it in, you know? He doesn't care what he feels back there, man.

[A]

I don't need Jen explaining to me like, men not finding Spanx hot. Fuck off, Jen.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

Don't make. Don't make Tamara bring out your fatty photo again or whatever. How dare you? I don't like that someone had a fatty photo spread about them that wasn't even a fat photo and still says so many rude things, you know, like.

[C]

I was disgusting then.

[A]

I don't like it, you know? Yeah, have some grace, ma'. Am. Have some grace. Yeah, some of us need the Spanx. Okay? I'm not apologizing to you. I don't care if that guy fucking thinks it's hot. He found it hot enough to get me naked in the first place. Now he's gonna suffer.

[B]

Yeah. So Tamara and the other Van Tamra's.

[D]

Like, the last night we went to the bar, and Gretchen was, like, such a downer.

[B]

I'm like, have you met your husband?

[A]

You had dinner with Eddie lately?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then we see a clip of this offend, offensive Gretchen moment, which Tamara is in the bar, like, trying to sexy dance for Shannon, you know, and, like, doing her squat twerk, whatever the hell she's trying to do. And Gretchen's just sitting at the bar smiling. Super offensive. Super offensive moment from Gretchen.

[B]

Well, it. It is kind of annoying. It does suck when everyone's, like, having fun. And then there's one person who's like, I'm sullen. And you're like, okay, get over it. But also, by the time one thing I have realized is that now that I'm in my 40s, now I'm on. Now I'm deep in my 40s. I started to realize, like, when people do that, you just sort of zone them out. So the fact that Tamara can't do that. I mean, Tamara's really trying here.

[C]

She's such a dare that bitch.

[A]

So then, yeah, but we're also older and our friends, like, squat. Twerking in the middle of hotel lobbies isn't, like, as hilarious as it used to be either.

[B]

And there's.

[A]

I think I'm probably. I think I'm probably the person at the bar, like, can I get another drink? I'm with that idiot.

[B]

Just probably thinking about what her next, you know, online sale will be. You know, her discount code.

[A]

She's like, oh, my God, I got extra crucifixes in this month and better figure out how to move those while Tamra's talking.

[B]

I just don't understand why she'd want to sit at the bar. She creeps around you. Like, there's never a confrontation or a conversation. I thought it would be spicy. You know, I feel like Emily is. Emily is just. She's just, like, the worst these days. I mean, she is. She really acts so friendly with Gretchen, and the moment she's with Tamara, she talks so much about Gretchen. And this is not me defending Gretchen. This is me just pointing out how fake Emily really is. Given that they all are kind of, like a certain degree of fake. And they all are. They talk about each other's backs, etc. Emily just sort of really goes and runs back information to. To Tamara all the time, and it's just like, she really is a jerk.

[A]

She's a jerk. And I think that. And I've said it a zillion times, and I'll probably say it a zillion more. The worst thing about those two is that they're just not good friends. I feel like everybody else, they have their moments, yes. Where they hear something, they go back and tell the other person, like, that's the nature of the show. But they at least stick to sides, you know, and stand up for their friends until it all goes to shit or whatever. But these two don't even try. They just. They fake it to everybody's faces. And then they just try and, like, ruin their shit just for fun every single episode. And they also blow their load way too quickly with it. But also hearing the information later in the episode that Emily and Gina are just so mortified and have this moral quandary over when they're even running back to Gretchen for this past three weeks being so nice and all of that. It's like. It's just gross, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See something, say something. Okay. Don't hide until it's like, you know, don't hide out and be nice until it's convenient for you because you'll have other people on your side.

[B]

Mm. Yeah, I totally agree. So Emily's like, this Gretchen and Terror carousel needs to stop. It borders on obsession. It's weird. Well, guess what? Last time I checked, the person who pressed go on the carousel was you because everything was fine, and Gretchen said her thing, and then you went and ran and told Tamara about it. So you just let me know when. When you want to, you know, take responsibility for this.

[C]

Well, Jenna was even having a good time. She was tipsy. She was dancing with me. And Gina's like, honestly, Team Roy, Jenna's whoever everyone tells her to be. That's just who Jenna. She's like, well, we had to talk.

[D]

So.

[C]

Flashback to the talk I had with her. It was me and Jen. We were talking about Alexis's wedding, and I said, no one should tell you who to be friends with. Dumb. So be friends with Lexus.

[B]

Tamara saying that is so funny. Anyone on this show saying that, given that they pull that card all the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Gina's like, but the thing is.

[D]

Like, Shannon's saying she wasn't gonna Going to the wedding, like, on her, like, like, she wasn't gonna go to the wedding, like, on her own. So I. Like, I don't see why now Jen is saying that Shannon asked her not to.

[B]

You know, I have a crazy perspective on this, which is, like, don't understand it and also don't really care, and it's none of your business who the fudge cares. Like, why are you trying to. Like, they're trying so hard to tear apart Shannon and Jen just to make. Get something going. It's like, why are you doing this? Like, why?

[A]

Like. Like, because I have nothing going on. You know, Gina has Travis's balls. That's literally all she has. And, you know, you're right, Gina.

[C]

The last episode was, like, so, like. I mean, Shannon doesn't want you to go to what? The wedding. Did she say she doesn't want you to go? Why does Shannon tell you she doesn't want to go to the wedding? So Shannon said that, right? Shannon said that?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So Shannon said that, right?

[B]

Yeah. And then.

[D]

Yeah, you know, she. Shannon said that. So you, like, want to be mad about her like, is that something you want to be mad about her for it all Jen, like, what do you.

[C]

Want to do about being friends with Shannon? It's only about her riddles. And I see Jen falling right into it. She's falling right into it.

[A]

So, yeah. The van arrives to the tulip garden, and Heather's like, wow, tulips. How beautiful.

[C]

What a lovely birthday we're having for my child at the tulip farm. Okay.

[B]

Can I get a word? A word, please. Pineapple. Okay, sure. Let's go with that.

[C]

Oh, my God. I think I feel these mushrooms because right now I'm seeing flowers. It's because we're at a tulip farm. Oh, yeah. Okay. But when you're walking through a flower view, well, the possibilities are endless.

[A]

And so they walk around the fields and they're taking pictures. And Heather. Heather's supposedly high, so she can't even get her head in the frame. You just see, like, a corner of hair whenever she takes a selfie.

[B]

The post production team has a lot of fun with this one. They start doing all sorts of, like, trippy things. They make, like, a flower crying, and they. Did they. They make a weird tulip outline matte situation. And yeah, they're like, oh, thank God we have something to do. So we're so sick of making it. Making a transition from a surfer walking across the screen going from the beach to Gina's house.

[A]

I'm so sick of making a transition with that guy dropping a basketball. I know.

[B]

How many times can I make three bars appear across the screen? And one bar shows Emily cleaning a counter. One shows Tamara opening a fridge, and one shows Shannon trying to FaceTime her daughter. And then all three bars go away.

[D]

And we wind up on Gretchen.

[B]

How many times can I do that?

[A]

I cannot use this dog on rollerblades anymore. Please give me something.

[B]

Give me some good mushroom content in the tulip field, Please, anything.

[A]

So we see the tulip crying, and it's really a baby. There's a baby crying in the background.

[C]

And Jim's like, why is that baby crying? This isn't a place to cry. Cry. Man up, baby. Man up.

[B]

I feel like it's, like, a great place to cry, honestly. And then Shannon's like, because this all life is.

[A]

I go through all of this myself for years, just end up in a field of allergies.

[B]

I'd be crying if I was in this, like, beautiful multicolored tulip paradise. And all of a sudden I see, like, Heather Debro. Be like, welcome to, like, the Witch of The tulip field has arrived.

[A]

Baby, can I get a word? No, your baby doesn't know words yet. How am I supposed to. Groundling.

[B]

So then there's, like, a horse statue.

[D]

So Shannon's like, I'm gonna be wacky, so I'm gonna get on this horse.

[B]

But Shannon, who has ridden horses her whole life, decides not to get on the horse in the normal way, which is to, you know, swing a leg up. But she instead, like, grabs it from below and straddles it and does that, like, tries to be crazy. And then she gets up there and it's like, oh, God, Shannon really killing.

[A]

It here using the horse's penis.

[C]

Hilarious. Wait, it's not a penis. It's an iPad.

[A]

So the.

[C]

She's like, well, it's a statue. I can feel it's plaster. It's not real. It's not like a real penis. A real horse isn't plaster.

[A]

And the producer tells her, do you remember what that feels like?

[C]

She goes, yes, I remember what a penis feels like.

[D]

I mean, I think I do. I was. Is it sort of like the felt? It's like felt. It's like a. It's like touching a puppet. Like a Muppet, right? No. Oh, maybe I don't remember.

[A]

So Jen and Gretchen get on the buggy behind the horse, and they're, like, whipping it.

[C]

And Gretchen's like, yeah, do it, horse. Do it.

[A]

And Heather's like, oh, no, look at them.

[C]

Queens of quote, unquote comedy.

[A]

Am I right?

[B]

Oh, okay, I'll take that one. I'll take that one. I'll take it. I was like, it's the I hate Tamra club. Giddy up. And so Emily's like, shannon is clearly the president. Gretchen is the historian. Because if you need to bring something up from 15 years ago, she is your girl. But just don't put Jen in charge of finances. Let's, you know, let's not take you. As far as I could tell, Emily, you could be historian, too, because you were the one who dug up all that information on Katie at the reunion. So let's not historian shade people on this show. Emily Simpson. Thank you, Alfredo. Wow.

[C]

We were really the fun club over here. And Gina's like, oh, my God, you know what? You remember. Come on, guys, let's start a storyline, because we don't got nothing. Okay? Heather, come over here. Come over here.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Do you remember when Alexis's wedding was brought up and Jen said Shannon requested her not to go? Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I talked to Jen about Alexis, and I said, you act like you're not friends with her. Yeah, well, I talked to Shannon about that.

[C]

What a coincidence, right? At the same time when we were at different restaurants and I said, you.

[A]

Act like you have all these boundaries, but Jen still talks to Alexis. Seems like a friendship.

[D]

Well, I. Like, why can't she just say, I'm friends with Alexis? Like, why is Shannon being so mean to her? What does Shannon have on her? Is Shannon blackmailing her? Like, why is Shannon so dangerous? I feel like it's, like, not safe to be on the same cast with shenanigans. Should she even be on this show anymore? I feel bad because I think she's in a bad state. Oh, my God. I think she's actually dying.

[B]

I'm scared.

[C]

And then this whole bridal shower thing, like, I'm over here supporting Shannon, you know, when I thought my whole relationship was going to implode. And then this is. This is what bugs me. You know, it's like, let's. Let's celebrate with. Jen's still with Ryan a year later. Like, where's my pizza party?

[A]

I'm like, I know you're not going to steal the pizza party storyline. No one is going to celebrate you and Travis. I'm sorry. Okay. No, we're not going to celebrate your fake storyline of moving out on Travis so you escape the wife trying to take half of your money for child support or whatever the hell's going on.

[B]

Yeah, you don't get a. You don't get a party for realizing you were being a dipshit for a year, kicking out your. Kicking out your boyfriend. I mean, like, you get parties for milestone things. Jen's getting married. Shannon's like, well, she's getting. She's getting married. It's not going to be in the show. We should probably do something for her. And I like this girl. She's the only one not being mean to me right now. So I'll throw a party. Why not? I also have to do something on this season. And there. Now Gina is basically trying to tear apart Shannon and Jen. She's trying to kind of quote, unquote, expose Shannon and. And try to, like, rip them asunder all. Ultimately, what we see here is because Gina didn't get a party and she wanted a party. And this goes right back to it that Gina's an. Like, she's so shitty to her friends.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't even know that she really wants a party from Shannon. I think she's just out to destroy for no reason. She's Just bored. And her whole, like, I've been such.

[C]

A good friend to Shannon.

[A]

When? When? When have you been such a good friend to Shannon? I can't. With this whole story. She's been so. She's been so nice to Shannon. This is her version of being nice.

[C]

Shannon, like, I'm your friend, and I just want to see here on TV that you might have a problem with alcohol. Like, everybody's worried about you. Are you drunk right now? Could you breathe into this? Breathe into this. Let's see if your car starts.

[B]

Her whole thing is that, like, she was. She hated Shannon. Then Shannon got a dui, and then she felt bad and felt like, as a fellow DUI person, that, like, they, like, she should help Shannon. And she was nice to Shannon, and she supported Shannon, and that was all very nice and nice and good. And now she's like, now where's my party? Which then she's accusing Shannon of actually being very insincere and having ulterior motives with the way she moves socially, when actually Gina has kind of revealed that herself. And maybe she doesn't even want explicitly a party. I guess she's saying, like, I was there for you, Shannon, but then you're not being nice to me the way you're being nice to Jen. But, like, I don't know. I think Shannon probably sees you for who you are.

[D]

Gina.

[B]

Gina, which is someone who's, like, a jerk, like Emily.

[A]

And, yeah, she does literally want to party, because Emily goes, like, where's the Gino still with Travis party?

[C]

She goes, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm like, this is more like my friendship with Shannon, because she, like, pushes me away because I don't. I hold her accountable. And it irritates me because, like, I'm going to piss you off sometimes because it's in your best interest. But, like, I'm the one who's considered lower on the totem pole than her than, like, Jen. That's not fair. That's not.

[B]

Then why are you wanting a party from her? Okay, like, then move on. So now we go to the cafeteria, and Tamra, Tamara is. They're all sitting at a. At a table. Tim's.

[C]

Heather, can you serve us?

[D]

Because there's some sandwiches of their service.

[B]

So Heather takes these platters. She serves Tamara, and she's like, oh, this is too much. Where are the Alfredos? Okay, Alfredo, put down your drum. Give us the sandwiches.

[A]

And she's like, why am I doing this? I'm too rich for this. So she stops, and Tamara's Like, I'm.

[C]

The only one who got a sandwich. There's multiple years. She just said me.

[B]

I did love that, like, Heather could really only, like, step into the role of, of the service industry for about 30 seconds before she had to put it all down. I can't. Who am I, Wendy Malik?

[A]

No. Well, I'm glad we got to see.

[C]

Them before they went away. Gina's like, oh, tulips.

[A]

You know, the circle of life, because tulips die.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I was trying to count the people here and figure out who died. I fell the.

[B]

Watching Gina high is like giving a New Yorker 15 cups of coffee and winding them up and letting them go.

[A]

Meanwhile, Gina's just staring off into space with zero energy.

[C]

Look at her.

[A]

Look at all that energy.

[C]

Travis has big balls.

[D]

I want to know something, Jen. Like, the whole thing came out about, like, the Alexis wedding. And, like, you said that you're, like, not going. It's like, yeah, for Shannon.

[A]

Yeah, the whole thing came out when you brought it up. You mean she's like, yeah, that whole.

[C]

Alexis wedding thing just happened to come up again, like, naturally, as if I'm.

[A]

Not the one who's brought it up every single time.

[C]

But, yeah, it just came up.

[D]

But then, like, someone else said that she asked you not to go.

[A]

She didn't ask me not to go.

[C]

Excuse me?

[A]

No, no, she didn't ask me not to go. How dare you? I'm gonna need a lollipop. I'm gonna eat a lollipop during this scene. I mean, I'm sorry.

[B]

Why aren't you going? Why aren't, why aren't you going then? I have.

[A]

What does it matter?

[C]

Why does it matter?

[A]

But why does it matter?

[B]

My turn. My turn. Why aren't you going? My, My turn.

[C]

Okay, well, it. Why? I don't understand.

[B]

You haven't answered. Why are you going to this wedding then?

[A]

I'm just trying to have a lollipop. Sorry. What do you call these?

[C]

Popsicle here.

[A]

Okay, well, you shouldn't not go to your friend's wedding.

[C]

Well, I didn't tell her not to go. I did not tell you not to go. I did not tell you that.

[A]

Well, she, but she said she's still friends with her. How do you feel about that? Well, I do like Alexis. I told you that.

[C]

Shannon's like, oh, oh, I didn't know that. I thought you weren't her friend anymore.

[B]

Did I know that?

[D]

No, no, I, I, well, I, I, I'm just having 30 to 40 negative thoughts about, About Jen. Jen Pitcher Auntie. Because I thought you weren't friends with her anymore, which is why I threw you a party, because I thought you were better friends with me, and I thought you would enjoy that. And I thought that you were going to be my ally for the rest of the show. Ever since. For the rest of time. And I'm. I'm a little upset right now.

[A]

Shannon, your issue with Lexus is your issue with Lexus. She hasn't done anything to me. Nothing to me.

[D]

I get that. I get that. But if you look at the things that she has done to me, they're pretty disgusting. I mean, it's. We're talking about Earl of Earl to Pearl, not eating a vegetable disgusting.

[C]

It's unforgivable. It's not easy for me to be friends with someone who is friends with someone that I know isn't very kind to me. Oh, sorry, I'm not following that.

[D]

Could you say that again?

[C]

Okay, well, it's not easy for me to be friends with someone who's friends with someone who's friends with someone. Wait, did I add one too many friends? Now, this person's friends with that person.

[A]

Who's friends with that person.

[C]

Why does everybody hate me? Everybody hates me.

[D]

So are you saying that knowing I'm friends with Alexis dictates how you feel about me?

[C]

Well, I mean, yeah, a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's really up. That's really up. Gene and Emily, why are you smiling so much right now? I'm really mad at Shannon.

[C]

Yeah, everything is up.

[A]

And Emily's like, you got dictated friends with her.

[C]

Well, I'm not even that close with.

[A]

Her, so I don't know what you guys are mad about.

[C]

Well, I think her impression. I don't even know where she got this, is that you have no relationship with her. Like, I mean, that's. Well, that has been my relationship, my impression. That has been my impression. Now, I'm not a friend dictator, but if the situations were reversed, I would not be friends with someone who was mean to Holly.

[D]

I'm sorry, which one is Holly again?

[B]

I'm still pretty new to this group.

[C]

You Holly, right? Holly.

[D]

Oh, I'm Jen. Ouch. Yeah. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. Shannon. Shannon's kind of wacky that way. I think that, like, it's that you tiptoe around how you feel with her. Like, you couldn't even tell her you didn't even really want that shower.

[C]

You know what I mean? Here comes one right now.

[B]

I was like, you're such a dick. Like, why do you do that? Like, why? That is so obnoxious.

[A]

Like, so she's a horrible, horrible person. And Shannon's like.

[C]

You didn't want shower, but I yelled at somebody for sending jams and wedding stuff.

[D]

She didn't want that shower. And she said if she wanted a shower, it had to specifically have blush glassware. And you didn't even have that.

[C]

She thought that shower was ridiculous. I never said it was ridiculous. Come on.

[D]

Huh?

[C]

You were talking when we shopping at that little terrible place that could have been like a kiosk on a beach, but, like, you said how ridiculous it was.

[A]

So then we see. I think this is unseen footage, right? I don't remember this scene.

[B]

I actually think we saw this. Yeah, we saw this.

[A]

So Jen's like, you know, I just love Shannon so much, but why is she having a bridal lunch?

[C]

Yeah, like, why are we having a brunch for Jen when we don't even know she's getting married?

[A]

So she didn't say it was ridiculous. I think she was just saying, this is sweet, but it's kind of out of left field. Like, what the hell?

[B]

Yeah, it's like it's out of left field. It's not something I would do, but, like. And Jen's like, I mean, why. What are you doing right now?

[C]

I'm just being honest. I'm being honest about this, Tom.

[D]

But so am I. I mean, you know, if I. If I sat there and I said that.

[C]

No, because, like, you expect us all to take time out of our day to foster this fake friendship. That's the problem. That's the problem.

[B]

Oh, my God. You expect us, the viewers, to sit here and watch you every week, week after week after week. That's our problem. This is. She is. Gina is. Is awful. They. They really. They're really. They're testing my last nerve today. I can't deal with this right now.

[A]

And this is my thing. Like, if you're gonna. If you're gonna constantly make up for storylines and just blatantly lie, which is what she does all the time. She's not her first time doing it. Or Emily, at least make them interesting storylines. I mean, you're trying to make a storyline out of someone not wanting a bridal shower and being forced. Having a bridal shower forced on them. That's just weird. You know, you're trying to force this thing, like a fight with Alexis, who's not even on the show again. It's like, come up with something better.

[B]

They really are. And by the way, it still really bothers me. You brought this up last week, but it still bothers me that, you know, they're sitting here saying how, like, oh, my God, you should never say who someone's allowed to be friends with. That's wrong. Shannon's crazy for that. When we really watched a whole thing of Emily saying that if Tamara met with Katie, that was. That would affect their friendship.

[D]

Like, it's literally the same thing.

[B]

And it was only about two or three weeks ago that that happened. And now they're all high and mighty about who Shannon can and can not be mad at about these things.

[A]

So she's like, well, my friendship with.

[C]

Jen is not fake. You know that is her name, right? Jen.

[D]

Sylvia.

[C]

Sylvia.

[A]

My.

[C]

My friendship with Sylvia is not fake. And it hurts my feelings because I wanted. I wanted it to be beautiful for Shelly.

[A]

Shelly.

[D]

Did I appreciate the bridal shower? Yes. Would I have picked that for myself? No. But sitting here at this point and pointing that out in front of all my friends is rude. But by the way, thank you so.

[B]

Much for pointing it out.

[D]

It's nice to know that people care about me. It's just rude. I appreciate it.

[A]

Now, listen, just for the record, I did not have an issue with it.

[C]

Would I have asked for anyone to plan that for me?

[A]

No, I wouldn't.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

So are you really the correct person.

[A]

To be doing this right now, Gina? Oh, please. Like, you haven't been planning this with Gina.

[C]

And Gina's like, well, look, Shannon, like, I love you, but, like, I had your back so hard last year, and I had such a horse. Horrible time last year with Travis when I left him so that he wouldn't have his income to claim on child support, and he could still try to get child support from his rich ex wife. And then this year, my family came back together, and maybe that's something to celebrate with a party. Like, I wouldn't have even minded if I didn't have blush glasses. Like, Jen went home really upset about it.

[B]

You don't get. You don't. You don't get a party for. For patching things up with the person that you're.

[A]

You're.

[B]

You're dating. You just don't get that. That's not a. There are no Hallmark cards that say, hey, congratulations on your decision to move back in with your boyfriend, who you moved. Who you kicked out in the first place for, based on bad logic. Like, you don't have that card. You have cards that say, congrats on your wedding. You have a wedding coming up. Weddings are milestones. Having Travis move back in and, like, having sort of like. That's not.

[D]

That's not a milestone.

[A]

That's not having your big babysitter move in. Doesn't. Doesn't require a celebration.

[B]

You want to have a party. That's a party. And by the. By the way, the person who should throw that party is Emily, not Shannon.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So Emily's like, yeah, she wants a party.

[C]

I don't want a party. I just want things to be based on genuine feelings, you know? But they are. Genuinely. They are genuine feelings. I was super happy for Dolores.

[B]

What was that?

[D]

Oh, sorry. Different Dolores.

[B]

And listen, I think the issue here is that we can see that this new friendship forging here, but it just doesn't seem very authentic, and you have a lack of communication, and then we see you just automatically roll with Shannon blindly. I mean, you want to talk about authenticity, and yet at the same time, you're gonna be all buddy buddy with crutchers and then go and bring everything back to Tamra, and you're gonna complain about someone's inauthentic friendship.

[D]

I don't think so.

[A]

Yeah, I don't see how Jen is rolling with Shannon blindly. They're just hanging out a little bit here and there.

[B]

It's weird. And then Heather, by the way, they share the common bond of dealing with Tamara's wrath. They. They have a common enemy, and that has brought them together as friends. And I think that is a very valid basis for a friendship.

[A]

There's no more natural a friendship.

[B]

I see. Yeah.

[A]

So Heather's like, oh, I heard the word roll.

[C]

Do you remember when Shannon said, don't.

[A]

Roll on me, remember? No, I remember she was accused of it. You guys have this new friendship, and you're always laughing and stuff is disgusting.

[C]

Well, no, I love friends, but will.

[A]

You shut up and let me talk?

[C]

But, like, she acts like your wingman, and she's probably going to that wedding.

[A]

I want to talk. Shut the up.

[C]

Yeah, she doesn't even like peeing, so I don't even know why you would give a pee. She was very offended.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

Shut up, Gino.

[A]

Will someone not give her a gummy tonight? She won't stop talking.

[B]

Gina, let's play the quiet game, okay? I do this all the time with Alfredo. I say, okay, Alfredo. When I'm in the room and you're in the room, you have to play the quiet game. I get to talk to people that are not you also, obviously. Okay. And go.

[A]

Well, I don't even know what to say, now I'm done.

[C]

Well, sometimes you just need your best friend to tell you to shut the fuck up.

[A]

So now they decide they're going to go to these hot tub things. And they're like hot tubs that are on water. They're like river hot tubs.

[B]

They're the things that I'm sure people in Amsterdam hate. Like, oh, God, there are the tourists again in those little hot tubs. It's like when you see the, the bachelorette parties on those bar bicycles. The bar bicycle say that.

[C]

Happy, happy bachelorette party, Jessica. You see, they're throwing her a birthday party.

[A]

They're throwing her a bachelor party and.

[C]

You'Re not mad at them.

[A]

So first they have to get there by going in separate vans. Let's talk some shit. So they get in their vans and Emily is in with Jen and she's like, whoa, what do you think of Ryan's gonna think of your new Instagram that doesn't have him in it? And then we see a conversation 30 minutes earlier where Gina's like, oh, my.

[C]

God, when I open up Instagram, like, I don't even feel like I'm following you. I feel like I'm following Ryan. Like, you need to, like, have a separate Instagram from Ryan.

[B]

Yeah, I love Gina giving social media monetization advice. Like, yeah, you, you have this Instagram, it's worth money. We don't want to just. What? We don't. We just don't want you to be in the same position where you were before, where you don't know what the money is. Because if you do do that, then Gina's gonna have to yell at you at a coffee shop again.

[C]

Oh, I didn't even think about it like that. I mean, Gretchen, you're the same way, right? Gretchen, like, it's not all you.

[A]

It's not. It's your Instagram's not you and Slade.

[C]

She goes, no, it's just me. Because, like, it's all full blown business for me. I know people make fun of it, but I don't care. Yeah.

[B]

And, yeah. And so then we see a clip.

[A]

Of Heather and Emily in front of her. Oh, wow, look, she's making content. She's gonna sell that hat she's wearing. Don't forget to use Gretchen code. Gretchen 20.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

Heather, who was trying to sell fucking masks during COVID for like 500, you know, times what they were worth. I mean, Heather is the actual wrong person to be talking about monetizing things back. Some of the things Heather has monetized have been disgusting. Like when her Terry tried to monetize the Atkins diet, and they tried to make it their own. Like, Terry Dubrow diet. Guess what we found the secret to youth.

[C]

You only eat protein.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh. Oh, Alfredo. I don't want to have to cue you again. Like, okay, from the top.

[D]

They only.

[B]

What was it? Only monitor. I've lost a threat. Protein only bottle. No, I didn't get to it yet.

[C]

If you get really good at it, you can make a lot of money doing it too. I've always been a serial entrepreneur. I sell Frosted Flakes. I sell Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I got six businesses. Hopefully, that'll always be mailbox money. It's important to stand on your own without a man.

[D]

Now, let me just call Slade to.

[C]

Make sure I said that part right.

[A]

Sleep.

[C]

I said the part about standing and doing business. Yeah. Okay, good.

[D]

And it's good to not be reliant on a man.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Gretchen's so happy. I'm gonna do whatever I can be.

[C]

To be like Gretchen. I'm just, you know, I'm gonna do.

[A]

Whatever I can to be financially independent. I'm gonna become less of a Slade and more of a Gretchen, basically, is what she says.

[B]

Hashtag goals. Hashtag goals. So Jita is, like, fine, okay, welcome.

[D]

Welcome in America to the other van. So, I mean, I support that. I'm glad that they're, like, happy. And I just, like, don't want to get. See my friend get lost. Because suddenly I care about Jen a lot. Like, it's really important for me, you know, I care a lot about Jen, which is why when she had financial troubles and got behind on rent, I went and humiliated her in a restaurant. Like, so. In that. In that respect, it's really important that I don't want to see her get lost. I just care so much about her.

[C]

Yeah. By the way, Shannon, I know that right now when we have that conversation, it made it. I made it sound like you had a fake relationship with John.

[D]

Who?

[A]

John.

[C]

I'm sorry. Deborah.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, Deborah. Yeah, well, I wasn't being fake. I really wanted her to feel special. And for you to say she didn't want me to do that, well, it really hurts my feelings that Belinda would say something like that. Really hurts. Well, that's what she was saying, that she didn't matter in the first place.

[A]

Well, yeah, you heard it from. From Gina. I'm sorry I interrupted you. What'd you say?

[B]

No, it's like, I love Tamra being like the truth teller. Like consider this to us, Tamra who like managed. Managed to bastardize every piece of information that comes to her.

[D]

I'm not gonna lie. It makes. It makes me feel stupid to know that Francine did not appreciate that party I threw for her. But I thought it was a nice time.

[A]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[B]

Watch what crap. INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Allison Block.

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I love a YA Olivia Williamson.

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She sure is swell.

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Sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

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Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen It's Queen Laifa Nobody.

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Holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo.

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She's a total knockout It's Katie Manock.

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We love him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthy always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.

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Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot.

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Tell a lie It's Sarah tell of.

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Son Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop at solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plane we're.

[A]

Obsessed doll with Tessa V she ain't no shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.