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Ben Mandelker
Welcome aboard Virgin Voyages, where luxury meets drama. Free sailing. As you know, the Real Housewives of Miami took a trip on beautiful Virgin Voyages cruise this season.
Tommy Smith
But we thought, why did the Miami girls get to have all the fun? So we're putting the C in SLC and seeing what it'd be like if our favorites from Utah went on the same boat.
Ben Mandelker
Today we're joining Lisa and Angie from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City as they indulge in one of our world class restaurants. With Virgin Voyages, you'll experience the same delicious food and good times that these housewives are about to enjoy.
Tommy Smith
Remember, the cruises are all included, so there's no need to worry about hidden fees or surprise charges. Now let's see what Lisa and Angie are up to.
Ben Mandelker
Oh my God. This restaurant is amazing. I absolutely love the food here. May I take your order? Yeah, I'll have some.
Tommy Smith
So how could you order soup? That is so rude of you. At least be Greek. Soup.
Ben Mandelker
No, I said so.
Tommy Smith
Soup? Are you talking about soup, man? I don't even know any soup, man. Why are you bringing soup into this?
Ben Mandelker
I said so.
Tommy Smith
Why are you being like this? I thought we settled everything, Lisa. I just want to have a lovely appetizer in this delicious restaurant. I am so sick of being accused of things I was trying to do is honest. So a lot here. Lisa, I brought back all the soup bowls you gave me. Since we are obviously not friends anymore, they're in a crate for you to take home.
Ben Mandelker
What a meal. Virgin Voyages offers top notch dining experiences with menus curated by Michelin starred chefs. While we can't guarantee your friends will be as entertaining as Lisa and Angie, we can promise you'll have an unforgettable time.
Tommy Smith
From the Caribbean to the Mediterranean, Virgin Voyages takes you to amazing destinations in style. Make your next vacation truly fabulous with Virgin Voyages.
Ben Mandelker
Learn more@virgin voyages.com or contact your travel advisor today. Audible's Romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.
Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
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Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
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Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
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Tommy Smith
Watch what crap. What happens when there's so much that happens.
Ben Mandelker
Well, hello and welcome to watch what crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show. Now Nathan wants VY to rinse off a rail. Okay, and now it's time for the dinner. And Carlos is wearing a backwards hat. I don't know, I don't care what they're wearing. So they go to this high tea. So now Vee comes to the deck with a bucket of stuff and she's wiping down the rail. I love that. It's a whole plot line. Like, is Vee gonna wipe down the rail? Where's Vee? The rail steed still needs to be wiped out. Oh, my God, there she is. She's got a whole bucket to wipe. She's not only wiping the rail, she is wiping down the rail expertly. Guys, can we have another round of applause for b. V?
Tommy Smith
Great work, Victoria. I call her Victoria because she's a champion. So everyone gets their food. And Josh is like, all right, we've got king oyster, breaded mushrooms, hand cut french fries, cauliflower, couscous, green salad, garlic mushroom, sea bass, lamb, shrimp melon and cucumber. Carlos, do you have any complaints? And Carlos is. He's like, I think maybe you're right. Maybe they told him to shut up because he's like, clearly biting his tongue on this one.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, he has it all over his face, but he doesn't say anything. And then Candace is Candace, the other vegan, and she's like, okay, that's fine, because, you know, vegans can't be just nice. So then they cut to everybody looking kind of unhappy, right? Yeah, yeah. No one looks happy. And Carlos complains that something's too greasy. And then we cut to Kizzy and Josh, and she's like, do you feel better about them now? He's like, it's just scary. It's scary when they've got so many variety of preferences. You know what I mean? I mean, anywhere else I'd have their face slapped flat down on a grill, but can't do that, can I? It's new Josh.
Tommy Smith
And so Carlos is like. He's like, well, I mean, they try. He's like, it's too greasy. They try. It really doesn't take that much, though. I mean, like, it's so easy to make this stuff. I'm like, well, then why don't you put on your preference sheet what you would like to eat so that way he can make it for you, you know?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So then, yeah. I'm so sick of Carlos. I don't even care about his. I don't care about him anymore. He's pissing me off. So now it's time for dessert. And they get these little coconut bowls. And he's like, all right, so in the bottom of the coconut, there's a coconut puree, and then there's some fresh pineapple. And Candace the vegan makes a grossed out face. And so he kind of pauses and he's like. And there's a coconut and almond crumble there, passion fruit sorbet. And on top is a honey twill. And it's. I don't think honey is vegan, which is interesting.
Tommy Smith
Some. Some vegans are okay with it, some are not. But it's definitely considering this guy Carlos, like, how he is. I would have erred on the side of. Of. Of caution. But, like, again, we are sort of getting a sense that he's like, trendy vegan. So I don't think he doesn't even have, like, a moment. Like, I think if he. If he knew he could complain about the honey, he would have, but I don't think he even realized that honey is. Is like, controversial in the world of veganism.
Ben Mandelker
So everybody is staring at this dessert like they don't. They don't want it. They don't like it. It's a really weird reaction for a whole table to just, like, look at this dessert. And then we just hear someone go, I don't like coconut.
Tommy Smith
I don't like coconut. What was that? Is that wind? So then they're like, you know what? Bring Josh back up here. We want to say something once and for all. So Josh comes up there, and Candace the vegan, goes, I summoned you back up here. He's like, oh, some of you back up. Yes, I, queen of veganism, summoned you back up here. Have you made this dessert before? Is this something you created tonight? And he's like, well, I've done it before. I did it for a competition in December. So there be impressed. I was in a competition. Of course, it was just me and three other clowns, and none of them cooked, but either way, it was a competition.
Ben Mandelker
Guess what it was a handkerchief coming out of your wrist competition. But still, you know, it was eaten.
Tommy Smith
It all took place in a tiny car with 20 other participants.
Ben Mandelker
And someone just laughs when he said, I did it in the competition. So we don't think this is gonna go well. Yeah. And she goes, this is like a party in my mouth. And someone else is like, it is divine. And even Carlos says, this was nuts. Yeah. And nuts aren't vegan. But I still liked it. Nuts are vegan, Carlos. Nuts are a vegetable, and we all know it. But vegetables are vegan. Shotgun off my ass. I'm a vegan.
Tommy Smith
Nuts come from a nut cow, and they're not vegan. Okay? So Josh is like, yeah, well, okay, great. There's more passion fruit for you. And it's all happ happy. And the vegans are happy. And Josh is like, hold on. Is that a pig flying over there that actually light it? I'm like, josh, you're doing so well. Why did you mention the pigs? Okay, you should say broccoli. Is there a broccoli flying over there? But, like, not a pig. Come on.
Ben Mandelker
So Carlos loves it so much, he's gonna eat the whole bowl of it. So, you know, crazy do happen.
Tommy Smith
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So now Josh is excited, and it's just like, say you won in the end, didn't you? And Candace is like, he listened. We have changed a Che into a vegan chef. We've all work here is done. You're welcome, other vegans.
Tommy Smith
So, yeah, and then there's some hijinks downstairs where, like, Asia has Nathan on her shoulders for some some reason. And then Kizzy and V are in the cabins cleaning, and Kizzy's telling V about how she's like, oh, guess what, Joe? I'm teaching Joe a dance and I'm gonna, like, twerk. I'm gonna do British white girl twerking. It's be great. And I'm like, all up on him like this. Yeah. I'm basically just announcing the fact that I had good physical chemistry with Joe. Isn't that funny, V?
Ben Mandelker
I will say her twerk, her butt moved, which is very different from most of the twerks we get on here. Most of them just look like people imitating someone from cats trying to, like, scratch up against a post. Like, scratch their butt. But her butt moved. So I was impressed. That was a pretty decent white girl twerk.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, good. Good work on her end. So now it's time for the big dance number. So they come out and Joe is wearing his, like, Spanish dancing uniform and. Which is basically like a sheer shirt. And they dance and it's fun. And everyone, like, everyone on the. On the crew, like, grabs someone and dances with them. And it's a fun time. And everyone laughs and smiles. And then there's like a split. Kizzy does a split and Joe does a split and everyone does a split and everyone's happy. And, you know, there's smiles on the guest's face for the first time. All charter.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And so then H loves it because it's the first time she's seen most of them smile. So now Kizzy's doing dishes, and Max comes over and he's like, I just clean this. And she's like, thanks, babe. Darling, sweetheart. My delightful passion. Oh, poor Max. You're not getting any of that?
Tommy Smith
No, let's go to bed.
Ben Mandelker
It is smart because you do get guys to do your dishes, so that's good. So the guests go to bed, and then Max, Nathan and Joe are out smoking, and Nathan's like, boys fucking smashed it today. And I'm proud of fucking everyone. And so they're like, are we gonna keep Vee? Like, what do we do? Do we get to keep her? Do we get to keep her? Meanwhile, as talking. Say it again.
Tommy Smith
Sorry, I was echoing you. I was saying, does she get to stay?
Ben Mandelker
Is she going to stay? Yeah. So then we go to Asha and Kizzy, and Kizzy's like, something wasn't done in the cabins when we did turn downs earlier. And I've just been in mood today, you know, it's just I've been more frustrated than I should be because the love of my life, Tommy, what should I do about it?
Tommy Smith
Oh, God, Kizzy, I mean, you were the one who advocated for V to go out on the deck, and now you have to do all the work. Sorry. So now she, like, she. She texts Tommy and goes, I fancy you a crazy amount. Which is hilarious based on what she winds up texting him the very next night. So next morning, everyone's waking up. V is doing laundry. People are like. Like, Nathan and Jordan are cleaning things up. Sandy goes up to V and she goes, how's it going, Victoria? Do you like when I say your full name? Just want to let you know it's my show that. I really appreciate what you're doing. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Excited hustling yesterday. Wow.
Tommy Smith
Real hustler out there.
Ben Mandelker
Victoria, you did great. She's like, oh, my God. Thank you so much. Learned it in Afghanistan. That's I want to hear. So then Ladonna calls for Asha, and she's like, so when there. When the beds were cleared off, there was a headband, and it belonged to my daughter, and my daughter's dead, so I need the headband. And Aisha's like, oh, my God. And so they cry. And then Asia finds it under the covers. So it was sweet. It was like a very short storyline.
Tommy Smith
It was like a beautiful little scene, like, Asia. And I love that Asia's like. And she just, like. For some reason, Kizzy or V decided to put a whole ass fitted sheet over, like, a garment, essentially.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, was it over the. Was it under the fitted sheet?
Tommy Smith
It was under the fitted sheet, I think.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I thought she just blocked the blanket and was like, oh, here it is. It's in your sheets.
Tommy Smith
Let me tell you something. Am I. I've been. I've been really messing up a lot on crappings over the past few days, so don't trust me anymore. But I'm pretty sure it was under a fitted sheet. Either way, I was under something.
Ben Mandelker
It was in the bed. So they laugh and they hug, and it's like the best ending to a movie that we never watched. It's like, oh, my God, this is so sweet. She spent this whole time searching for her daughter's headband, and she finally found it. It's like, no, I lost something. Oh, here it is. Oh, my God.
Tommy Smith
And then the camera pans over and Sandra Bulk is standing in the door, her arms crossed, giving a proud smile. She does a nod, and then there's like, this celestial light, and she gets brought up to heaven because she finally did the thing that lets. It lets her go to the next plane.
Ben Mandelker
No, don't Kill Sandra Bullock?
Tommy Smith
No, she was already dead. She was like, she had to, like, do this thing. She had, like, this had to happen so that way, Sandra could finally be accepted into heaven. No, her character. It's not Sandra. It's just her character.
Ben Mandelker
No, I don't even want to see a Sandra Bullet character die. I love her.
Tommy Smith
Okay. Okay. She doesn't go to heaven, but she smiles, and then she. She smiles, and then she, like, leaves to go out to another boat. And she doesn't have to even say goodbye to the.
Ben Mandelker
George Clooney. Is George Clooney there? Is George Clooney.
Tommy Smith
George Clooney is on the tender to pick her up. Speaking of, when.
Ben Mandelker
When we were in New Orleans, you and I, we went to look at the Garden District. You know, we took a tour from those people who weren't real. Well, they weren't, like, licensed tour people or whatever. We. They were just people on the street.
Tommy Smith
We just attached ourselves onto that tour group. Right.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, it was. Well, we paid him or whatever, but. Yeah, it was like some kind of rigged thing, but it was kind of fun. And we were looking at the Garden District, and we saw Sandra Bullock's mansion. And I was like, this would be the coolest place for Sandra Bullock to die in her mansion, just, like, I don't know, haunt New Orleans. Because she's just so sweet. It would just be. Be like, such a sweet haunting, you.
Tommy Smith
Know, she would have a sweet, sweet haunting, and she'd have, like, an earnest plea to every. Every house that she haunted. She'd be like, I just. I just. I want the best for you. And I just. I. I don't. I don't know how to do it. And I try my best, but. But this is all I can offer you right now. You're like, oh, my God. Ghosts. Ghost.
Ben Mandelker
And they were like.
Tommy Smith
You were so sweet.
Ben Mandelker
And they were like, well, she's not here that much. And I was like, is it because John Goodman's her neighbor? Because he was, like, one of her neighbors. And I don't know. Like, John Goodman's a good actor, but he always seems like he's in a bad mood. I feel like he would be a bad neighbor.
Tommy Smith
Yeah. That was a great tour guide. I seem to remember her wearing, like, a tie dye shirt. And then she gave us a ride across town afterwards.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Tommy Smith
Remember, we piled into her daughter.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, her daughter's car.
Tommy Smith
She took us her daughter's car because she had. She took us to a parade. She took us to a Mardi Gras parade.
Ben Mandelker
That was Fun. Okay, so anyway, here we are now. They're checking tenders, and Nathan and Joe start asking each other about their moms. And Joe says that his mom is always asking about Nathan because of that night they had together. And they start laughing. And then Sandy is. She sees them goofing off and laughing, and she's like, hmm, I'm gonna put that feather in my cat for later. Just saw boys laughing about something, not sure what it was, but there will be no laughing on my boat. Have we forgotten our hero V who tied a bow line? Okay, let's think about our heroes and less about our zeros.
Tommy Smith
Sandy really is messing up because that's when the two boys are laughing. That's when Sandy's supposed to give, like, a hearty laugh and then look at the camera. And then the camera freezes, and it says, and introducing Captain Sandra Yawn in the opening credits. But instead she goes. Which is like, you can't use that in a sitcom opening, right?
Ben Mandelker
Introducing Captain Sandra Yawn.
Tommy Smith
You know, you're supposed to, boys. And then smile at the camera.
Ben Mandelker
So now it's time for the guests to depart. Carlos gives the chef a high five and hugs him and says, chef, you did your thing. Ate really well because of you. Carlos, get the out of here. You complained about everything except the very last thing you ate.
Tommy Smith
I loved when Josh put his makeup to good use and he. He appeared in his clown makeup and goes, this guy's a clown. Absolutely. This guy's a clown. You don't get to be an absolute monster with. With the food. And then you get to act like a hero, like. Like the guy. Be like, hey, good job, you. I'm like, no, no, you're. You're. You're a dick. Get out of there.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So then Ladonna cries with Asia, and she says that, you know, coming from Chicago, this was a major reset, and it's been a blessing. And then she hands him an envelope and cries her way down the dock. And Nathan's like, this tip is going to be. And third charter is done, guys. So then we see Nathan with Kizzy on the dock, and she's like, I can't wait to have a slutty night out.
Tommy Smith
With Tommy, the love of my life. But not with Tommy, if you know what I'm saying. But definitely with Tommy. It's like, what mixed messages are you saying?
Ben Mandelker
So are you? And she goes, yeah, I'm gonna have a slutty night. And he goes, well, you want to break up with your boyfriend first? And she goes, yeah, I'll do that at some point in the next few days, probably. And he goes, well, let me know when you've done it. She's like, yeah, yeah.
Tommy Smith
Love to hear that. I'm sure. I'm sure Tommy loves this. So tip meeting. Okay, Charter three, Asia, you are willing to allow V, as she's known in some circles, to come on deck and support us. And thank you because you're a team player. And V. I'm just trying to be like. The kids call you V. Your work ethic is incredible, Victoria. I had to say it, Victoria.
Ben Mandelker
Well, in this one charter, we learned that V is a really hard worker, and we've learned that Kizzy has three vds, and they're very hard workers as well. So you know what? What a charter. We learn something every time, guys, don't we? Okay, now, Kudos. Okay. Love those bars. Those are my bars.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, bring those kudos back.
Ben Mandelker
I didn't miss kudos.
Tommy Smith
Bring them back to the marketplace because those were delicious. Now that I heard that, I heard that Ben Mandelker from Watch for Crappin used to eat Kudos bars as a snack at a Hebrew school, and he loved them dearly with his five alive. So let's have that. Let's let other children have that experience, okay?
Ben Mandelker
God, fucking Kudos bars I used to have because they were like, lower calorie. Well, they weren't lower calorie, but I guess it's better than a Snickers bar kind of thing. And so my mom would buy those and I would eat 10 of them, you know, so they were never healthy for me. But God damn it, they were.
Tommy Smith
God, I love them. I used to. So it used to be I would go to Hebrew school after. After, like, regular school, and there'd be snack time. And so my mom would always give me a granola bar with chocolate chips like the chinos, like chewy brand and like a juice box. And that was my snack. But then when Kudos bars came around, we switched up from the granola bar simple granola bars to kudos. And it's like life was never the same until it wasn't. Because kudos went away. Why do we let go away? Why did not support Kudos?
Ben Mandelker
Just like true religion. We're standing around waiting for the return of Kudos. I just want the rapture to happen so I can get Kudos back.
Tommy Smith
The Kudos bar. A celestial light appears on a box of Kudos bars and it goes up to heaven. That's the rewrite.
Ben Mandelker
It's time for A commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
I got a cashmere hoodie in like an oatmeal color. And it's finally time that I get to wear this thing. I'm wearing it all the time and I look adorable and dashing. I love them for the wardrobe. Pieces like this. You know, when it's like cold, you get a nice sweater, a nice pair of pants. I mean, Quint is great for that.
Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
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Tommy Smith
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Ben Mandelker
Quints.com/crappens. All right, guys, now the tip. Now listen, pants with pants that cover your ankles make your ankles cold, okay? That was a free tip for you.
Tommy Smith
That was a tip.
Ben Mandelker
Now, monetarily, you know, success is about much how much we pivot and rebound. Okay? So in this case, what I love is these charter guests actually left you ready to be sad. $40,000. You are winners. You are absolute winners. I was just kidding. The tip was really good. Everybody and everyone's like, oh, my God. Which I couldn't believe either. And I do think this is the highest tip in history.
Tommy Smith
Never seen anything like this. Never. I was shocked, shocked. $40,000. And when you think about the gays last season who spent five days on this boat and gave like, what, like 20,000, $10? Or I mean, Dr. I, they, they really took the reins over from Dr. Contessa, Dr. And contestant Scott, who gave like 18,000. Like, this is literally twice as much. But at least Dr. Contessa and Scott had like a normal anthrop of the gays. Wow. That was just the worst thing ever. But, yeah, I did not see this happening. I was like, What? I. This is why I think that there was more than what that meets the eye. I mean, especially the fact that Ladonna was, like, in tears at the end of the charter. I was like, I feel like she probably had a whole experience that was lovely and full of bonding and all sorts of stuff happened, and they just didn't even show it on camera. I feel like there had to be more.
Ben Mandelker
They just focused on the negativity instead of, do we live under.
Tommy Smith
I really do feel like if they were trying to be like, look, we complain about the food. We don't want to be. We don't want to be awful. So, like, let's give a good tip. I still think they would have left, like, 25 to 30, but 40. Something had to have happened, right?
Ben Mandelker
I don't know, but it was good. So Joe's like, did I show up.
Tommy Smith
In the doorway again?
Ben Mandelker
What? Sorry, Ben, go ahead.
Tommy Smith
Sandra Bullocks in the doorway again as. As Captain Sandy reads the tip, and she nods and walks out the room yet again.
Ben Mandelker
So they're all celebrating, and Josh is like, yeah, I've got to make lots of money with my big tip. Got to make lots of honeys with my big dick. I can't say that. Don't use that. It just rhymed with tip. Shouldn't really. And then Asa's like, oh's the biggest tip I've ever had. It's going to take me a long time to come down from this eye. And then we go to a text message video that the crew sent to Ladonna, and they're all dancing around singing, thank you. Like, yes.
Tommy Smith
It is actually really cute. They're, like, so happy. As they should be. So then. Hey. Okay. Okay. Nathan and Asia. Nathan, Asia, come to win Central. Sorry, episode's still playing a little bit. Okay. Hey, you two. Asia and Nathan, I just want to give you an update. Okay. Norma still has not gone on a date. I know it's been 10 years, but we're hoping maybe this weekend things will change. Okay. And as I don't even like using.
Ben Mandelker
The word update because it hurts Norma's feelings, you know, we're just saying. Okay, I want to give you guys a no date. So.
Tommy Smith
So.
Ben Mandelker
So we're even. We're even in the fields here.
Tommy Smith
Oh, but you know what? So question. How is Vee doing on deck? How is she with the line handling? And are we open to calling her Victoria? Because I think that's really what we should be calling her on this show.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, she was fantastic. You could tell she was nervous, but I liked that she was nervous because it shows that she cares. I love that. You know, the boat does need four deck hands, so I'd like to keep Victoria on deck. That's what I'd like. Victoria on deck sounds good, doesn't it?
Tommy Smith
Well, okay. Well, that's fine. I mean, don't you both feel like she'd be great? I mean, think about it. V on the deck. It's like she's wearing a real V deck T shirt, except it's called a V neck. But it's close. You know, if you think about it, it's a pretty. It's pretty close to a good joke there, right? Oh, true.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So V neck is the capri pants of shirts.
Tommy Smith
Yeah. Someday the There. A V neck and a capri pant. They go. Both go towards the center. But never the twain shall they meet. Said someone once, my girl, my wife.
Ben Mandelker
I credit that. This guy Rizzy, personally. Well, she's so much happier outside. You can see it. He's like, yeah, you can see the joy in her. I've never heard people discussing somebody like this. It's so funny how they talk about Vee. She sounds like a pet. We should start letting the puppy out more. He just loves it out there in.
Tommy Smith
The field, chopping around.
Ben Mandelker
I'd love to have him inside for cuddles, but he's a nature. He's a nature beast. Let him nature. Let nature. Nature. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna get a new stewardess. Okay. I'm gonna call her up here, and we're gonna let her know together. Okay, let's bring her up here. V, come in here. You're not in trouble. We're officially shifting you to the dick team. She's like, oh, my God. Thank God. Thank God. Manual labor and mopping outside side. Thank you. Thank you.
Tommy Smith
We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. So it's like one of those jobs.
Ben Mandelker
They make it a big deal when you're the employee of the month. They're like, guess what? Your picture is going above the Slurpee machine this month. Oh, my God. Yes.
Tommy Smith
So she's gonna be there. And now. So Asia's like, well, this is great, but if I don't get great stewards, I might be less supportive.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So V is like, from the bottom of my heart, I would just like to thank you for seeing something in me, you know? Thank you guys so much. I'd like to thank my parents. I'd like to thank my boyfriend, Rip. Miss you. Miss you. I'd like to thank God. I saw a beautiful cloud today, shaped like a heart, and I felt it. And now look at.
Tommy Smith
Look.
Ben Mandelker
Believe in yourself. To all the children out there who don't believe they are. They are worthy of holding a shammy. You can do this.
Tommy Smith
Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, so V is going to be on the deck, which is exciting. And so Nathan is excited, and everyone's excited. And, I mean, V is really excited. She's, like, hugging everyone. She's really crying, and it's going through a lot. And so then she goes downstairs and she tells Kizzy, and she's like, I've done it up on the outside. And Kizzy's like, but I'm excited. For as long as I'm still the favorite on the interior, I don't mind. Like, you do know that another person's gonna come in, and she'll probably be better than you, and you have to do this all over again, right?
Ben Mandelker
So then Captain Sandy's gotta text Norma. She's like, oh, hey, Norma. I no longer need a deckhand, but I'm now looking for a stewardess. So know of anybody available, say, oh.
Tommy Smith
Bloop.
Ben Mandelker
Wow. So you're still unable to keep a crew. That's. That's good to hear. Still losing every day of your life, huh? I'll see what I can do, you stupid loser. Wow.
Tommy Smith
Well, maybe next time you shouldn't send me a deckhand and tell me it's someone for the interior. Maybe next time you should send me someone from the interior who's actually good for the interior. Maybe that's because you've never looked on the inside of yourself. Bloop.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, there. Okay, there, Ashram Sandy. Okay. Hey, maybe instead of asking for deck hands, you I should be asking you to get your dick out of your hand.
Tommy Smith
Bloop. Hey, you know what? I don't. I'd rather have a dick. A deck hand than a dick in my hand in the first place. Give me some better staff. How about that?
Ben Mandelker
No one has ever had more staff than you, and I'm talking.
Tommy Smith
Here's everything.
Ben Mandelker
I played, McGee. Bloop.
Tommy Smith
You know what? You're really messing me up because I was riding a real high from the double header of wind, and you're coming here with a lot of attitude, and you're the one who messed up in the first place. Norma. I'm not joking right now. Bloop.
Ben Mandelker
Bloop. The only thing showing more wind than Netflix is the inside of your head, you stupid cow. Bloop.
Tommy Smith
Bloop. You know what?
Ben Mandelker
At least.
Tommy Smith
At least a cow could staff a boat better than you could.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, you seem tired today, so go ahead and.
Tommy Smith
I've been through a lot. Been through a lot.
Ben Mandelker
Go ahead and get your nap. I'll work on getting you a staff that's, you know, unfairable. Okay, Bloop.
Tommy Smith
You know what? How about you get. How about you work on a date that's unwalk awayable?
Ben Mandelker
Okay, I'll let you have that one. Have a good night, you dumb. Thank you.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, you too. You have fun. You have fun alone. As usual. Bloop.
Ben Mandelker
So now it's time to go out. They get in the vans, and V is like, can we talk about boys real quick? Asia? She's like, well, I can't tell if they're into me or not into me. And she's like, well, if you're down, they're down. They're men. They're men. What more do you need? Okay. All they're waiting for is a flag. Just put up your flag. And they will try to conquer it, ma'.
Tommy Smith
Am. They will be there. So then Joe's like, oh, Kizzy, she smells nice. And Max is like, oh, she is a jackal. You know, a jackal. And then Josh.
Ben Mandelker
Is that a compliment?
Tommy Smith
I'm not sure what Max is ever saying at any given moment. I thought V was into you. He's like, oh, yeah, she's a sweetheart. So I'm telling you, he's more into Kizzy, but he's gonna go after. He's going after V first because V is available, but he's really into Kizzy.
Ben Mandelker
So Kizzy's like, who do you think would be the best Shaga? And Asia thinks Max because he would be a giver, which possibly. I feel like Max would last about one second and be good. Damn it, bro. Yelling at his wiener, like, God damn it. Why?
Tommy Smith
He would literally go down on a girl for five seconds and then jump around and be like, yes, I did that. I did that. And he'd do, like, karate chops. It would not be pleasant. So they all. But they all believe that Nathan would just get, like, all excited and wouldn't. Would. Would be just more like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So they get to a restaurant, and they sit down, they toast to their big tip and everything. And Joe is speaking Spanish. The waitstaff, which is. Which is really cool. And Max asking how he learned. And, you know, we learned that his. His parents are still in Liverpool. And so last season, Joe just wanted to make his grandpa proud this season. I'm just saving up right now to the day to buy an apartment for me mom. I just want to buy an apartment for me mom in Spain. Whatever comes, the rest is for me. But that's all I want is apartment for my mom and my mama's boy down at the bot. Total boy, this guy. I just.
Ben Mandelker
All I care about is me mom.
Tommy Smith
Oh, okay.
Ben Mandelker
So V's like, wow, you're really cute, though. And Kissy's like, could you pass me another cookie? And Joe's asking Kizzy if she misses the meat. Ah, you guys, it's burning off the screen.
Tommy Smith
The chemistry is burning off the Hilarious. So then Nathan and Joe go to the. Go to the bathroom. And Kizzy's like. She's like, oh, my God, I'm weird if I eat too much. So Nathan's like. He's like, bro, that's trouble right there. You know, that's real trouble. And Joe's like, yo, she's got a fellow. And she's flirtatious. I love how it's always the girl who's the trouble, not the boy who just can't. Could make the decision to, like, not be, you know, an idiot.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I think they just mean, like, there's trouble. Yeah, big trouble. And Joe's like, yeah, she's got a fella, but she's given game. I. Oh, she's given game, but she won't go all the way. I'm telling you right now. Telling you. So see, that's what he's worried about. He's like, do I choose the one that I possibly won't get laid with because she'll keep saying boyfriend over and over. Or do I just go for the easier. The easier choice? Like, as far as getting laid in his mind. So then he's says he's doomed if he dooms if he doesn't, because he'd either be a home wrecker or a heartbreaker. Me.
Tommy Smith
You don't have to be a heartbreaker. You could be a.
Ben Mandelker
You're.
Tommy Smith
You're. Yeah, you're doomed if you do and become a homewrecker. Or you could just date someone that you're interested in and just date them and not around on them and break their heart.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I think he means because the other girl has a dead boyfriend. So if he has sex with her, it's gonna break her because she's very fragile.
Tommy Smith
Broken bed.
Ben Mandelker
Broken bed. So he thinks Kizzy is powerful and he's really attracted to her. And Nathan can see the Vibes so much, bro. So then we go back to the table, and Kizzy is asking Josh what his best memory is, which is kind of a terrifying question to ask someone like Josh.
Tommy Smith
Yeah. And he's like, oh, well, I miss that. My mom and dad, you know, like, I think when we got the first restaurant, we're all very close as a family, quite literally. We're all in the same clown car together. Did I mention that earlier? We've not ever. We're not ever together anymore. Mainly because I show up at Christmas with this crazy paint on my face and terrorize the entire family. And they said, josh, you can't come back to this house until you stop dressing in your clown uniform. So it's been unfortunate. I don't get to think them anymore.
Ben Mandelker
He's mad because his parents split and his mom got a new boyfriend because God forbid she's alone, you know? He's like, you know, because that's what society says. You have to get a boyfriend. So that's what she did. And Kizzy's like, oh, I really look up to your mother, actually, because that's what I think. I'm like, you know, I just don't like being alone. I'm not good at distance. Touch is so important. And if I can't touch you, I'm like, where are you? Okay, Kizzy, if you just wanted to say you want to get laid, just say that. But don't make some guy open up about his broken family and then turn it into how you need to get laid.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, exactly.
Ben Mandelker
Kizzy, let's grieve his mother, who's still alive, but with a boyfriend. So it's like, my mom hurt me because she couldn't be alone. Oh, my God. I'm just like your mother. Actually, I'm bored with you. I'm not going to talk to you anymore.
Tommy Smith
But Kissy's really going through it because he's like, I've been in relationships for, like, most of my life, and I kind of sometimes think, oh, have I missed out on that single period where you just literally flirt with everyone? I'm like, I don't think you've missed out on that part.
Ben Mandelker
You were just doing it today with everyone. You're literally doing it today. And you're 22. How much? What do you mean? You've been in a relationship your whole life. Get out of here. You've been with this guy two months. So now Kizzy and Vy go to the bathroom, and Joe is like, oh, look at those birds. Look at the birds.
Tommy Smith
Birds.
Ben Mandelker
So then V stops because the stew in her said she has to fix a pillow. It's funny. So then Josh is now talking about V, and he's like, you know, V is really, you know, I like Latina birds. And Joe's like, yeah, full on relationship. You know, get to know you kind of. And Josh is like, yeah, I like her. Josh, you have no chance. I'm so sorry. Yeah, you dress as a clown and you break down at dinner over your mom finding a boyfriend.
Tommy Smith
Like, you're not in this mix.
Ben Mandelker
You're not.
Tommy Smith
So rarely. It's so rare that the chef is ever truly in the mix. They're just too weird and too, like, emotionally tangled up.
Ben Mandelker
So we haven't seen that since Malia, and that was a disaster.
Tommy Smith
Oh, yes. Try to cut a cucumber. So, yeah, Max is like, oh, Joy, is that my fan? You know, like, normally I'm like the exotic French guy, but now he just come and snatch. So good for him.
Ben Mandelker
Good for him and just so romantic. Yeah. Joe's like, kizzy, she smiles at me and me balls tingle.
Tommy Smith
Just. I mean, it just. Ooh, chills. So then Max is like, so, guys, what do you think about Joel? Because they're back in the vans now, and Kissy's like, oh, lovely boy. And V says, oh, he's charming. Yeah, always great. Wow. And then now we cut to Joe and Nathan and Asia, and Asia's like, oh, I can really actually tell that Kizzy is Valientio Joe. Really? Big time. Yes. I think she knows that. That she's got a. Because she knows she's got a boyfriend. She's like, well, I don't have the right to be into my V, but I can tell that she certainly is.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Angel's like, oh, my God. What the fuck is my life? What the fuck is my life? Well, you've still got some hair. Just do whatever. Just make a decision, okay? Because it seems like you've already been annoying me for eight weeks now, and you've been here for one episode, so just do whatever you're gonna do. So now everybody goes to the club, and Joe's all over Kizzy, and Vy's watching it, and Josh and HR are doing a weird robot dance together, which is them. And now Nathan's talking to V, and he's so proud of her, and her work ethic reminds him of Gail, and she's going to be so great. And now we go to Kizzy and Joe having a conversation, and Joe's like, you know, You've got a boyfriend, so I don't know what to do with you, but you've got a smile in your eyes, and me balls are tingled, so you know what you do? You know what you do, you bad girl?
Tommy Smith
Oh, God. So Joe and V. Joe's. Joe's talking to V, and he's like, I want to have a serious conversation with you. And she's like, okay, like, what's happened in the past about your boyfriend? I'm so sorry. Wow.
Ben Mandelker
Sure.
Tommy Smith
She loves hearing that at the club when you're hitting on her. Like, that's. God, nothing. Really? Nothing Says spitting game. Like, saying, hey, sorry your boyfriend died. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
And she's like, I mean, it's fine. And he says, well, I don't want to, like, intrude on your personal space. And she's like, yeah, I wouldn't come here. I wasn't, like, ready, so take a seat. So he sits with her, and they get all cuddly, and she's like, why would you bring it up now? And he's like, well, I'm bringing it up before anything goes further. Like, I don't want to be that guy that just comes in and then, you know, like, jerk off. More said, then, ciao. You know, I want to jerk off and then make sure you're not crying while I leave you, because that would make me look extra bad.
Tommy Smith
It's like he's saying, oh, I was gonna do this with you. I was gonna come in, we'll have sex, and then I was gonna leave you. But now that I know that your boyfriend's dead, I just want you to know that, like, I don't know if I can do that with you because that might be really hurtful to you. So I don't know if I can just. I don't know if I could just, like, tell you my usual lies and then go for someone else on the boat. So if you're wondering why I'm not making a move on you, that's why. And she's like, I appreciate what Joe was saying. Like, one of the really hard things since Bond died is that, like, some guys just, like, I don't know what to do. Like, do you guys want me to hold. Do you want me to hold you? Like, do you want to cry? Like, do you want to leave the room? And they treat me like I'm damaged, and, like, I don't want that to be me because, like, that, you know? So then she then says to Joe, along those lines, I was so heartbroken I can't do that again. Not for a while.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, whatever. He's afraid to hurt me, but trauma builds character. Let's do this. I'm here for it. I'm not broken. So he's like, well, I can say that your hair straight is so fucking sexy. So now she sits on his lap and they're like, oh, my God.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, yeah. Then they head back in the vans. And then, like, at one point, like, Joe and V get, like, really close, and she, like, grabs his cheeks like she's gonna kiss him. And she goes, do you wanna. Just, like, if you wanna kiss me, it's not gonna be in the back of a van. And he's also telling her things in Spanish, like, oh, you know, it's different, you know, with Kizzy. I like her, but it'd just be for fun. But you have a soul and straight hair. Oh, my God, straight hair. When all the time I thought it was only curly. Oh, I do like that. But I don't like. I don't just like it. I love it.
Ben Mandelker
She's like, if you want to kiss me, it's not going to be in the back of a fan, though.
Tommy Smith
So now, tight quarters on the bottom of a boat.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Meet me in the broom closet. So Joe fights down the steps of the boat and with his feet on the rails, you know, and he's kind of walking down the railings. And now it's time for bed. And Joe and Nathan are talking, and Joe tells him about his talk with Van, and he's like, oh, she's fucking naughty, mate. She's naughty. And then Kizzy comes in. She's like, what are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about? Like, nothing. She's like, oh, my God, they're so fucking stupid. I'm just so confused. I want my 20s to be, like, full of fun and adventure, no regrets. And I think the most important thing is I've got to be honest with Tom, but I just feel guilty because I really do like Tom. I really do. So now she has to FaceTime Tommy and lay it down the law.
Tommy Smith
Okay, Tommy, so I know this is shit. And I've done some thinking. I don't even know how to word it, but I don't want to have any reservations whilst I'm here. So what I'm trying to say is I'm on a television show with, like, really hot guys, and I really want to bang them. And it works two ways because then I get to bang a hot guy and I get to be on TV more, and I just don't know if I want to be stuck just facetiming you this whole time. I mean, look at your bangs. I mean, really. Like, it's just. I don't know. It's not very attractive. So I was kind of thinking maybe we break up, then we can get back together after the television show when it's back to, like, regular world. I don't know. What do you think?
Ben Mandelker
And he's like, I don't get it. She goes, yeah, but you know what I'm like, right, Tommy? You know, I'm loud and flirty and crazy and all these things. He's like, yeah, and I love that about you, but I want to kiss someone. He's like, wait, What? What the just happened?
Tommy Smith
What?
Ben Mandelker
She's like, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. He's like, well, I can't tell you how upset I am right now, but I'm very, very upset. But you just told me how upset you are. Well, not how upset. They're extremely upset. Extremely. I don't want to talk about it. You just did. Tommy.
Tommy Smith
He's like. He's like, well, okay, but then, fine. Don't hold back. Maybe we just won't speak for four weeks. I don't know. I don't really know what to say, to be honest. I feel like you've sort of made up your mind. Oh, don't speak for four weeks. Okay, great. Bye. Bye, Tommy. Bye. It's like, no, no, no. That was supposed to be a threat.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Poor Tommy. You've already lost this one. I like when she goes, tommy, I don't want to have your feelings be dependent on my actions. Okay? Tell me you've done this before without telling me you haven't done this before. So she basically dumps him and then pretends to cry in her face. And she's like, I fucking hate boys. What are you talking about? Every boy's been nice to you, including Tommy.
Tommy Smith
You just dumped the boy. You're the one creating the drama, not the boys. They've been respectful of your boundaries.
Ben Mandelker
No, ma'.
Tommy Smith
Am. Well, anyway, that's something that finally pushed.
Ben Mandelker
Her is that she saw that Joe picked.
Tommy Smith
Yeah, of course.
Ben Mandelker
Right. And so she's like, oh, God, I'm running behind here. God, she wins everything. First she's the favorite on in the. You know, in the cleaning crew, and then she gets moved outside, and now she's getting that, you know, hot new guy. I'm breaking up with Tommy. That's it. Tommy, you're done.
Tommy Smith
Bye, Tommy. Well, fun episode. I'm glad those vegans are gone. And we'll be back with more episodes later this week. Thanks, everyone for being here. It's a fun time. Watch out for that wind and other scheduling changes and we will catch you in the next episode of Crap Ins. Watch what? Crap INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
Ben Mandelker
Our way is the Amber way.
Tommy Smith
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Ben Mandelker
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, She's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call.
Tommy Smith
It's diane Call Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for he Hugo Jamie. She has no less namey she's our kind of mess.
Ben Mandelker
It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trot.
Tommy Smith
She's our favorite streamer.
Ben Mandelker
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera. Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie Mcenary. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
Tommy Smith
This is Living with Michelle Vivian I.
Ben Mandelker
Love Aya Olivia Williamson.
Tommy Smith
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Ben Mandelker
Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
Tommy Smith
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Ben Mandelker
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Tommy Smith
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
Ben Mandelker
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Tommy Smith
Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.
Ben Mandelker
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Tommy Smith
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.
Ben Mandelker
Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa.
Tommy Smith
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork. Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo She's a total.
Ben Mandelker
Knockout It's Katie Manok we love him.
Tommy Smith
Madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it.
Ben Mandelker
It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud maximum love for.
Tommy Smith
Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's.
Ben Mandelker
Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out.
Tommy Smith
Of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop it's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla Plain we're obsessed doll with.
Ben Mandelker
Tessa V she ain't no shrinking violet Cootar we love you guys. If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondry.com survey.
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: November 4, 2025
In this lively part two recap of Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 6, Ben and Ronnie dive into the hilariously fraught vegan charter guest dinner, crew shenanigans, and an unexpectedly generous tip. As always, the duo delivers their Bravo wit, heavy on the mockery and love, focusing on guest complaints, crew drama, and saucy speculations about boatmances. The dynamic recaps both the cringe-worthy and heartfelt moments, from tense preference meals to staff reshuffles and some real talk on relationships.
[05:41] Ronnie about Carlos's pickiness:
"If it's so easy... why don't you put on your preference sheet what you'd like to eat so the chef can make it for you?"
[09:46] Ben on twerking:
"Her butt moved, which is very different from most of the twerks we get on here... pretty decent white girl twerk."
[26:16] Ben on crew talking about V:
"She sounds like a pet... We should start letting the puppy out more—he just loves it out there in the field."
[28:01] V (re-enacted by hosts):
"To all the children out there who don't believe they are worthy of holding a shammy—you can do this."
[32:02] Ronnie on Max's potential as a lover:
"I feel like Max would last about one second and be good. Damn it, bro. Yelling at his wiener, like, 'God damn it! Why?'"
[38:11] Joe on Kizzy:
"Kizzy, she smiles at me and my balls tingle." (Hosts lose it over this phrase for several segments.)
[41:20] V (about trauma):
"I was so heartbroken I can't do that again. Not for a while."
[44:23] Ronnie (on Tommy's failed threat):
"That was supposed to be a threat." (After Tommy tries to imply radio silence is punishment, but Kizzy is already over it.)
Ben and Ronnie maintain their trademark playful, irreverent style—mocking the guests' pettiness and the crew's romantic foibles with improvisational dialogue, playful asides, and Bravo in-jokes. They give both affectionate ribbing and deadpan takes on the earnestness and absurdity of yacht life.
The dynamic in this episode underscores how Bravo reality is as much about tension and comedy as it is about sailing. Whether dissecting the politics of vegan honey or lampooning crew romances, Ben and Ronnie keep the listener laughing and up-to-date on all the essential Bravo-verse chaos.