Watch What Crappens #3071: "Below Deck Med S10E07 Part One: The Blah-chelor"

Episode Overview

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam recap Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 7 ("The Blah-chelor"), reveling in the first part of a two-part episode in which the crew must accommodate a “Blahelor”-style charter—essentially a Bachelor parody on the high seas. The recap delivers Ben and Ronnie’s signature mix of Bravo gossip, comedic banter, and character evisceration, focusing on the interplay between the Below Deck crew and the over-the-top romantic setup for their bachelor guest and his bevy of hopeful bachelorettes.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Blah-chelor" Charter: Dating Show Chaos at Sea

• Premise: The episode's charter guest is a single, sun-damaged man ("Joe")—whom Ben compares to "a low rent TEMU version of Chip from Chip and Joanna" (09:09)—and several women vying for his attention in a makeshift yacht dating show. The whole scenario is described as a ridiculous, yet perversely entertaining Bravo experiment intentionally playing with the Bachelor format.
  • Ben: "I actually loved it… It was like very small, on the side, and so much of it was about the crew making comments about what they were seeing." (06:50)
  • Ronnie: "Is it human trafficking? What would you call it? This was straight up human trafficking, right?" (07:51)
• Matchmaker Amy: The “service” and commodification of romance deeply unsettles both hosts. They point to Amy’s awkward phrasing—introducing the women as “from her service”—as uncomfortably transactional. (08:06)
• The Bachelor (Joe): Both Ben and Ronnie ridicule Joe for his generic personality and questionable charisma.
  • Ronnie: "The man is severely sun damaged and bald and not very nice... I'm saying hoes. I'm saying this was a boat of hoes." (08:13)
  • Ben: "He's kind of like a low rent TEMU version of Chip... and Chip is already kind of TAMU [sic] version of himself." (09:09)

2. Crew Dynamics & Character Observations

Kizzy: Self-Declared Villain Lacking Bite

• Mixed persona: The hosts pick apart Kizzy’s inconsistent villainy—she postures as a troublemaker in confessionals but never delivers true chaos.
  • Ronnie: "Her villainy is confusing and is actually pissing me off because I feel like she's catfish villainy department, you know?" (13:24)
  • Ben: "She pits people against each other in subtle ways and I don’t approve… she’s on my radar." (14:47)
• Kizzy's Love Life: Her on-off attitude toward relationships is parsed as immaturity more than boldness. (15:03–16:13)

Introduction of Kathy, the New Stew

• Entrance Examined: Kathy arrives, impeccably dressed, instantly causing a stir among the crew, notably intimidating Kizzy.
  • Ben: "She sort of has that [Emily in Paris] vibe coming out the boat… but like British sounding." (26:47)
  • Ronnie: "She's a lady who's going to be by the water cooler complaining about stuff. She’s going to have stringy hair and crazy kind of squinty eyes. She’s Kathy." (25:35)
• The “Snow White” Stew: Kathy is praised for her hyper-perfectionist cleaning techniques, while occasionally casting shade at Kizzy’s standards.
  • "Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum." (65:16) [Kathy, mimicked by the hosts.]

Max: Left Out and Melancholic

• Displacement and Emotional Oversharing: Max feels isolated after being left out by Nathan and Joe, tying his emotional turbulence to a strained relationship with his parents.
  • Ben: "You also could just be hurt by being demoted on the friendship ladder… you don’t have to bring in the parents." (76:08)
  • Ronnie: "We really blame them for everything, don't we? ...Just say you’re pissed." (76:33)

V and Joe: A Flirtation Fizzles

• Joe’s Shifting Allegiance: As soon as new potential love interests arrive (Kathy, the bachelorettes), Joe sows doubts about V, prepping excuses to back out ("I'm not after a relationship" – 34:26). The hosts predict he’ll gaslight V and frame her as “crazy” when he moves on.

3. Standout Quotes & Comedy Highlights

Bachelor Charter/Guests:

• Ben (on the Bachelor): "He was kind of like a low rent TEMU version of Chip from Chip and Joanna." (09:09)
• Ronnie: "This was straight up human trafficking, right?" (07:51)
• Ben: "If you were still alive, would you Richard Mulligan?" (52:06)
• Ronnie: "She’s the brothel owner." (44:41)
• Ronnie: "He kind of looks like Old Yeller in a bad way. If Old Yeller had lived a little longer..." (58:09)

Crew/Stew Antics:

• Ronnie: "Her villainy is confusing... catfish villainy department." (13:24)
• Ben: "She's on my radar and I don't appreciate it." (14:47)
• Ben (on Kathy): "Normally I'm a chief stew, but I'm going to slum it here... when Charlize Theron put on that ugly face and didn't put makeup on and won an Oscar. That's kind of what I'm doing here." (32:03)

Comic Digressions:

• Improvised Mary Poppins bit: Ronnie incredulously discovers Ben has never seen it—"What kind of homosexual are you?" (27:54)
• Explainer on Gen Z selfie techniques, complete with a live demonstration (67:34-69:47)
• Ben (on the CliffNotes difference between Miss World and Miss Universe): "Ms. World focuses on beauty with a purpose by emphasizing humanitarian work and social impact, while Miss Universe celebrates confidently beautiful by highlighting confidence, glamour, and global ambassadorship." (61:21)
• Running Kathy as “comic foil” for everything: "Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum." (65:16)

4. Timestamps for Notable Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------| | 06:50 | Ben explains why he enjoyed the "dating show" twist. | | 08:06 | Critique of the matchmaker ("they're from my service"). | | 09:09 | Ben calls the Bachelor “a low rent TEMU version of Chip...” | | 13:24 | Ronnie on Kizzy’s “catfish villainy.” | | 14:47 | Ben: “She’s on my radar and I don’t appreciate it.” | | 25:35 | Ronnie: “She’s Kathy. That’s all she needs to be.” | | 26:47 | Ben: “She sort of has that [Emily in Paris] vibe…” | | 32:03 | Ben comically compares Kathy’s chief stew demotion to “Charlize Theron putting on that ugly face.” | | 52:06 | Ben: “We screened all the women, and we asked, if you were still alive, would you, Richard Mulligan?” | | 65:16 | Kathy (as voiced by hosts): “Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum.” | | 67:34-69:47 | Ben and Ronnie attempt the Gen Z selfie technique—live, on air. | | 76:08 | Ben: “You also could just be hurt by being demoted on the friendship ladder.” |

Tone and Language

The episode delivers Ben and Ronnie’s signature irreverent, rapid-fire banter, liberally peppered with sarcasm, Bravo in-jokes, character psychoanalysis, and campy sidebars. Their goats on reality tropes (“human trafficking”/dating shows), deep dives into the petty politics of yacht life, and over-the-top character voices drive home a tone of loving mockery.

Memorable Moments

• The "human trafficking" riff (07:51): Ronnie’s comic exaggeration of the Bachelor setup as “straight up human trafficking.”
• Ben’s savage Chip Gaines takedown (09:09-11:19): “Chip is already kind of a TAMU version of himself.”
• Introduction of Kathy the Stew: Her comic perfectionism, and the way her presence unnerves Kizzy.
• Live Gen Z selfie experiment (67:34-69:47)
• Miss World vs. Miss Universe mock research (61:21)
• Kathy as a constant, droll comic chorus: “Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum…” (65:16)

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• This episode of Below Deck Med doubled as a tongue-in-cheek Bachelor parody, upending the usual charter dynamic and inspiring snarky social commentary from Ben and Ronnie.
• The hosts deliver sharp, campy critiques of both crew and guests, exposing shallow TV tropes and reality TV artifice while celebrating the show’s ability to attract and manufacture disaster.
• Listeners will find both a comprehensive play-by-play of the episode's main events and plenty of meta-commentary on reality television, all enveloped in Ben and Ronnie’s trademark irreverence.

End of Part One Recap. For full coverage, listen for Part Two!