#3082 Southern Charm S11E01: Shower and Shade

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3082: Southern Charm S11E01: Shower and Shade

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: November 20, 2025

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Overview

The Watch What Crappens crew—Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam—return to recap and lampoon the Season 11 premiere of Southern Charm. In this typically irreverent episode, the hosts break down the drama, friendships, new and returning cast antics, and group dynamics, setting up the feuds and storylines for the new season, with a heavy focus on the show's signature mix of shade, parties, and petty confrontations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Episode Vibe & General Impressions

• Both hosts found the premiere “light and frothy,” enjoying the return to “classic” Southern Charm dynamics with a slightly refreshed cast.
• Ben underscores his approval of Vanita finally getting real storylines:

  “I was so happy that Vanita got a proper storyline for the first time in several years.” (05:02)

2. Cast Updates and Shifting Alliances

• Vanita’s emergence: Comes in with not one but two storylines—beef with Craig and drama with the “girl code.”
• Corey’s transformation: Ben and Ronnie mock Corey’s new “hipster” look, much preferred his old frat boy style.
• Sally’s spray tan: Highlighted as a running joke,

  “Her spray tan is ridiculous. It is dark brown. It’s splotchy. She’s a lot, this Sally.” (06:24)

• Vanita & Sally’s fast friendship: Both speculate on how inevitable their falling out will be.

3. Friendship Fallout & Girl Code

• The hosts analyze how “Best Friends” tropes in Southern Charm repeat themselves: two women bond over their exes, and hosts all but guarantee the friendship will implode.
• Ben draws parallels to past seasons (Olivia and Taylor’s friendship).

4. Opening Guy’s Dinner—Foreshadowing the Conflict

• Shep, Whitney, Austin, and Craig toast Austin’s birthday.
• Early cracks: Austin jokes about keeping “friends close and enemies closer.”
• Argument erupts over Craig’s “alcoholic” narrative, with Ronnie bluntly calling the storyline disingenuous:

  “Craig is a fucking liar with that whole alcoholism storyline… he’s continued to be shitfaced every time we’ve seen him since.” (09:20)

5. Reality TV Living—Flies, Snakes, and Mess

• Extended riff on cast members’ issues with household pests, interpreted as a metaphor for personal chaos and drama.
• Ben:

  “When you’re a reality star, you don’t think logically. You think emotionally and impulsively, and that’s how you get your good storylines.” (11:38)

• Molly’s clutter and snake escapades: Rodrigo’s horror at her “hoarder” ways becomes a running joke.

6. Patricia’s Baby Shower Planning

• Layers of Southern camp as Ms. Patricia preps for Madison’s baby shower—utterly fixated on not appearing as a “random plant placer” and ensuring swan decorations reach her standards.
• Choice Patricia quote:

  “These swans look like cheap prostitutes.” (40:46)

7. Craig & Paige—Breakup Narratives and Quests for Sympathy

• Craig positions himself as the "victim" in the Paige split; Ben and Ronnie find it exhausting and mock his dramatics.
• Ben:

  “Did you watch your own TV show? It was all there. It was all there. We all saw it.” (18:39)

• The quilt he makes for Madison—stitched with symbols of “betrayal”—is roundly ridiculed.

8. Vanita vs Craig: Loyalty, Podcasts, and Pillow Fights

• Vanita’s fallout with Craig centers on her publicly siding with Paige.
• Sally and the hosts debate “friend group loyalty” vs. personal relationships: Ben lands on Team Paige/Vanita, while Ronnie is sympathetic to the idea of group solidarity but notes Craig “has always been condescending to Vanita.”
• Vanita’s anxiety about confronting Craig becomes a through-line.

9. Baby Shower Mayhem and Setup for Season

• Everyone converges at Patricia’s for Madison’s shower.
• Group dynamics: new and old cast blend; petty feuds simmer.
• Molly’s breakdown over skipping her band concert for the party is played for laughs and held up as the kind of “muddle and mess” fans expect.

10. Notable Quotes, One-Liners, and Banter

• Ronnie (on friendship cycles):

  “It’s already showing me massive cracks. So, you know, congratulations.” (07:45)

• On Southern Charm men dating younger women:

  “You’re never going to be dating older girls anyway.” (24:41)

• Ben, reflecting on the gendered loyalty dilemma:

  “Vanita is her own person, and she doesn’t really have much of a relationship with Craig. And Craig’s always been condescending to Vanita, to be honest.” (37:29)

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• Craig’s “alcoholic” storyline and group skepticism:
  09:10–10:19
  “Craig just made my drinking problem about him. That’s insane.”

• Patricia critiques party prep:
  40:56
  “There’s more sloppy lays on those swans than I see in the cast. Okay, that’s just not gonna work for me.”

• Corey’s ignorance about musical instruments gets roasted:
  48:53–49:49
  “How does this man not know what a tuba is? This guy is the biggest idiot. I always thought he was an idiot, but I’ve never been more in awe of his idiocy…”

• Molly’s band concert meltdown:
  56:56–57:55
  “She was, like, literally making euphonium noises with her nose.”

• Craig’s self-pity over Paige:
  18:59–19:21
  “I will say I’ve hit a level of sadness that’s not depression based because it’s more bummer based because I never did anything to deserve becoming a villain in her story.”

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Noteworthy Segment Timestamps

• Opening premiere impressions: 04:46–05:25
• Friends-to-enemies commentary and Southern Charm parallels: 06:48–08:04
• Male cast dinner, foreshadowing fight: 08:04–10:19
• Patricia baby shower scenes: 13:01–14:06, 40:56–43:35
• Craig breakup narrative: 18:39–19:59, 54:13–55:39
• Vanita’s loyalty conflict discussed: 34:05–38:00
• Baby shower social maze: 43:35–52:16
• Molly’s breakdown: 56:56–57:55, 59:43–60:08
• Afterparty and girl code/guy code analysis: 61:28–64:43
• Closing thoughts: 65:01–65:08

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Hosts’ Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie remain gleefully snarky, jumping between deadpan sarcasm, Bravo lore references, and Southern Charm-specific jabs. Their tone is loving exasperation mixed with sharp cultural commentary, especially regarding the cast’s self-delusion, privileged antics, and the Bravo-reality ecosystem.

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Summary Takeaways

• Season 11 kicks off with classic Southern Charm drama and a few new cast wrinkles.
• The hosts are bullish on Vanita’s rising prominence and Molly’s hot mess energy.
• Craig’s pursuit of self-pity and group fracturing over the Paige fallout are recurring jokes.
• Corey’s evolution (degeneration?) into a hipster is mercilessly lampooned.
• Girl code, friend group allegiances, and social climbing are dissected with trademark shade.
• The baby shower (and its swans) provides fertile ground for both genuine emotion and Bravo ridiculousness.
• The recap sets up interpersonal tensions and promises plenty of irony and chaos ahead for the season.

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Not for the faint of heart but great for Bravo superfans: The Watch What Crappens duo remind us that in Charleston, you don’t just watch drama—you crappen all over it.

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Hello, hello, Virgin Voyages. Are you ready to hear a set from DJ Meredith Marks?

[Ronnie]

Wow, what a gorgeous club. I know her. I know the dj, everybody. I know her.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, Brittany, I'm gonna need you to quiet down because I'm about to start my DJ set right now.

[Ronnie]

Go Meredith.

[Ben Mandelker]

Woo hoo.

[Ronnie]

Meredith, can you see any bachelors up there?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't see anything. I'm trying to focus on spinning this sweet turntable right now. Cause I'm a dj. Hey, Brittany, are you recording me? Are you recording me?

[Ronnie]

No, I wasn't recording you at all. I was just trying to take a selfie.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can't record me while I'm doing my DJs.

[Ronnie]

And I just have my phone out because I was using the calculator until I realized there's no bill here, so I don't even have to come up with a tip.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're lying, Brittany. And I don't appreciate liars while I'm DJing for all these people in the club.

[Ronnie]

I only have my phone out because I was playing Candy Crush while you were trying to dj. I'm so sorry. I was trying to save my ears. You're not.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're not. And you can leave.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com crappins that's audible.com crappins. Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's the gorgeous Ben Mandelker over there. Hello Ben.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hi Ronnie.

[Ronnie]

How's it going on baby?

[Ben Mandelker]

Not much. Just. Just hanging out here with you. Having fun.

[Ronnie]

Yes, it is time for a new season of Southern charm season 11 episode uno. So we're glad to be here for that. You guys catch us Monday nights we're either doing crappy hour at 5:30 Pacific or like this coming Monday we'll be doing Amazon live at 4pm Pacific. You can find details on our Instagram Watch what crappens and the whatever links area Lincoln bio area. So join us for that stuff. That's super fun and welcome to the show everybody. What'd you think about the premiere of season 11, Ben?

[Ben Mandelker]

I liked it. I thought it was sort of like light and frothy. I enjoyed much of it. I enjoyed the opening scene. I enjoyed Molly's breakdown about her band performance. I did not enjoy the return of Corey who looks crazy now. He's trying to be like hipster. He's. I think he's trying to do like a Benson boon hipster look. And I think look, just go back to your bro bro baseball cap and you know, flannel situation. That's Her. That's her land. Stick to it. Honestly, though, I. I enjoyed all of it and I was so happy that Vanita got a proper storyline for the first time in several years. So. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

What did you think Vanita has learned? Yeah, she's come in with a couple storylines. She ended the season. She ended the episode with two, which is pretty good. Craig and, you know, breaking the girl code.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. She finally learned, like, it's time to lean into a feud. So I. I thought it was all.

[Ronnie]

She's also dating Carl, supposedly, if you heard that from.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, right. We didn't talk. Oh, I got my eye on Vanita. So then they, like, hung out in, like, the VIP lounge and then they're like, that was. This is a date, by the way. This council's date. Okay.

[Ronnie]

Normally I do this on a Wednesday, but Bravo con is when Bravo con is. So let's do it. Yeah. So she's. She's out there working for her spot, you know, which is good. Molly, not Molly. Sally got all the basic old, old timey white girl names. Sally and Molly. Sally is. I was sitting next to someone this weekend and she passed by. She was talking to some guys and the girl went, her spray tan is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It is dark brown. It's splotchy. She's a lot, this Sally. She's a lot. I'm actually interested to see how she goes off this season because I have a feeling were in store for quite a treat with this one.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, as soon as the season began and Vanita and Sally started talking about how they became. Basically became like best friends since we last saw them, since the reunion, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so excited for their fallout and fight and the destruction of their entire relationship, because that's literally what has happened every season on really any reality show. But did we not just see those two generic blonde girls whose names I'm suddenly forgetting now, go through the same. Shep's ex and Austin's ex.

[Ronnie]

Remember?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't remember the. Is that.

[Ronnie]

Isn't that funny? Olivia and the other one, Olivia had. She. Yeah, she canceled her wedding through her press agent. They released like a whole press release. Did you see that? That was pretty funny. Olivia is sad to inform you that she will no longer be marrying Cracker McCrackerstein or whatever.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Olivia. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Olivia and Taylor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Olivia and Taylor started this. That whatever season that was walking around the park talking about how they're just like, commiserated over. Over the fact that they both hate Their exes and they're best friends now. And then within like three episodes. Destroyed. This one's already one episode. It's already showing me massive cracks. So, you know, congratulations.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So we open with the main guys, Whitney, Shep, Austin and Craig having dinner somewhere, celebrating Austin's birthday. And Shep's like, whoa, Garz, we've been through ups and downs, mostly ups, but let's toast, everybody. So they toast and Austin's like, yeah. What I've learned is to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Right, guys? Right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gosh. Enemies? What are you talking about? Like Russian interference with the Vietnam War. Ken Burns turning the season strong. Whoa.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Are we supposed to be enemies now? Flash forward. You manipulated me. You, you, you. You told me you're an addict and you don't drink anymore and now you're the shock king.

[Ben Mandelker]

Craig just made my drinking problem about him. That's insane. Chap. Austin, nothing I do in my life is about you, buddy.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah, trust me. I know, I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, my drinking is about me. I don't try to tear you down.

[Ronnie]

You're a liar. And everyone knows you're a liar, Craig.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I'm the same person off camera as I am on camera. And that person is a storyteller.

[Ronnie]

You're a liar. Then we don't need to be friends anymore. Guess we don't need dessert. Yeah, Craig is a fucking liar with that whole alcoholism storyline that was such like a get out of jail free card. He's like, I'm an alcoholic. And then he's continued to be shit faced every time we've seen him since.

[Ben Mandelker]

On this show, you know, and when Candace Lewand did the same thing, I was like, good for her. But with Craig, I was like, no. Because I felt like. We all felt like when Countess Luanne had to go sober, it was like, oh, she's obligated to go sober because she got arrested and this is what you have to do. But Craig was like, no, I'm not hanging out with you because I'm sober now. And that's why you. It's not because. Yeah, yeah, it's not. I'm not too big for my britches. You actually are toxic for me and you turn me into an alcoholic. I'm. I'm bettering myself. And it turns out, oh, you're still drinking. So it is like you are. You do think you're too big for me. So, like, it hits different. It's also more fun to beat up on Craig than it is on Countess Luann. Let's be honest.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So we go to Sally's house. Wackley trying to catch a fly with her bad spray tan. I just can't emphasize enough.

[Ben Mandelker]

The fly just has to.

[Ronnie]

Over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

The fly just has to land in the fly. I'll be like, what? I can't get off. It's.

[Ronnie]

You put so much of that stuff on you. You look. You look crazy. Please stop. So then we go to Vanita's house, and Vanita is also dealing with flies. So I'm not really sure what we're. What we're supposed to take from this, but Vanita has a fly trap that she needs to get down and throw in the trash.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's her. I never seen that before. It was like an exterior fly trap, which. Talk about a fool's errands, trying to trap all the flies outside. But she went for it. And then we go to Craig's house.

[Ronnie]

And also, it's unfair, don't you think? Like, to trap flies outside? Like, where do you want them to go? I mean, is this just mass murder of flies? There are allowed to be outside. I mean, I get protecting your domain, but they're outside. You can't. It's like just putting bird traps out there. You can't do that. It's outside. That's where they live.

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I think it's okay to try to reduce mosquito populations and tick populations, but the flies are just gonna fly. I mean, they're just. I mean, I'm sure that flies don't spread amazing things, but, like, mosquitoes are the real problem. Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes and ticks. I say put out the traps for those. But, like, the flies, I mean, why. What are you doing? Why are you putting a fly drop outside Benita? I was very concerned from her right from the beginning, but I guess we should have known that. That that was a sign of her giving up on logic. Like, you know, when you're a reality star, you don't think logically. You think emotionally and impulsively, and that's how you get your good storylines. And this is like a sign that she is no longer using her head. And that means she'll probably have an interesting season.

[Ronnie]

Well, continuing the finding pests in our home, Molly is looking for. Her SN is under an appliance or something, and she's like, oh, hey, it's just me. Look at me. You're going to be much nicer to me when you see I have a mouse. Oh, wait, the snake has not. The snake has not escaped. Yet, I'm sorry, The snake is still in its aquarium. It's just like, you know, kind of snapping at her. And she's like, okay, don't snap on me. I've got a dead mouse for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

The aquarium is the least cluttered area in Molly's new house. It's just, you know, like looking inside the aquarium. It's like clean and open. There's all this. It's like an open concept, but, like, everything else is chaotic outside that that aquarium. So she drops the mouse in.

[Ronnie]

It looks the cleanest. And it's got a giant log in the middle.

[Ben Mandelker]

So that mouth, that snake just grabs that mouse by that. That's. That snake is going to eat well. And then we go to Ms. Patricia's house. Whitney, Whitney.

[Ronnie]

And she's continuing, continuing with women dealing with pests. It's Miss Patricia in her house with Whitney Whitney. Want what I got, Madison from you. Ding ding. It's a sterling silver rattle. Watch. Ding. A ding ding. Randy just comes limping in. He's like, what? Please, please. I wasn't calling you Randy. But while you're here, here, hand me your finger. No, please, please. That's called an electrical socket, stupid. Go back to your quarters.

[Ben Mandelker]

The best part about this silver rattles, it bounces off his forehead nice and cleanly. Like, watch this. Boom. Oh, See, it came right back to my hand.

[Ronnie]

Best thing about this silver rattle is you could just twist it apart and it's two shanks inside. Randy, come over here. I'm gonna stick a fork in you and see if you're done. No, please. Works like a charm.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mother, is this for medicine or the baby? And she's like, oh, for both. Good.

[Ronnie]

Haven't you ever been to a baby shower before? He's like, no, it's gonna be hilarious. Hijinks. Hijinks will ensue. So we go to Austin, driving his car, and he's calling Madison lacroix. And she's like, hi, girl. Hi. Just over here getting fat. Home stretch. This baby making business. I'm in the third trimester. What are you doing?

[Ben Mandelker]

He literally goes, oh, what is that? You can drink wine now. It's not the third trimester of college. She's not. She's not approaching the end of the school year. No. She's like, what are you talking about? Hell no. It's like, oh, I need to get pregnant so I can get my drinking in check. Yes, that's. That's that. Yes, Austin. We all know Austin would. Would drink while pregnant. Anyway, let's Be honest.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, so, what am I supposed to get for your baby shower? And she's like, well, not nipple cream or nothing like that. I mean, I suggest corn. My mom will be there.

[Ben Mandelker]

As if Austin has any idea what nipple cream is or used for. So then Madison shows up at Craig's house, and she's like, well, God damn this landscaping. And so they go in, and he just touches her belly. He's like, is it weird to touch someone's belly? She's like, no, I'm not a good pregnant person, to be honest. Anyway. He's like, well, because you have an alien inside of you. For real. I heard that's how aliens. Like, I was watching that show alone Earth, and they start in your bel. So, like, good luck. You have, like, probably 24 more hours left inside you.

[Ronnie]

I hate every second of being pregnant. But we're doing it, okay. Them girls who are like, oh, I love being pregnant. I'm like, you're a liar or a sociopath or something. Nobody loves being pregnant. It's ridiculous.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love that. I love that. Because all my friends hated being pregnant. Literally, no one was happy. They all were miserable. And so whenever someone's like, I just love it, I'm like, I feel like you're lying to me right now.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like you are so upset, but you. You have to pretend to be happy because you know it's for your family. But, like, I know you hate it. I know you hate it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I was trying to be positive in a. Just a not positive situation. Like, I love it. It's amazing. I can't sleep. I've got a hemorrhoid the size of a head coming out of me. This is amazing.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they sit outside, and she sees some sort of painting or an easel or some sort of setup. She's like, who are you, Bob Ross, too? And he goes, oh, the painting. That's a remnant of the past. Paige used to sit out here in my bathing. In a bathing suit. And. Okay, so you didn't take it like, this is so Craig to leave up the things that way. Anytime he has, like, a lemonade with someone outside. Oh, my God. What is that? You know what's so funny? Ronnie Orkin just arrived. It's like they knew what we were talking about. Orkin is out there killing the mosquitoes. Do you hear that noise?

[Ronnie]

Guess who was just out here today. Orkin. This morning killing ketos. What a tie in.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. What are we, Orkin? Twins.

[Ronnie]

Seriously? And I had to reschedule them for next week, because they were gonna do the inside, and they said I had to be gone for two hours. I was like, I'm not doing that. They said, it's a California law. I was like, really? Because in Texas, they will literally spray me if I'm laying on the couch. And he's like, yeah, you have to leave, so I have to come. But he did the outside. Wow. We're having a working day.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a real. Like. It was like they knew we're talking about pests. They're right outside this window doing their mosquito treatment, which is because, you know, in Los Angeles, you get mosquitoes, like, until, like, December. But anyway, what I was saying is, of course, Craig leaves all of Paige's painting tools and stuff up. So that way, anytime someone comes outside and hangs out and has, like, a lemonade, he can be like, oh, yeah, that's pages. She left me. How I was such a good boyfriend. I provided her with an easel and canvases. That way she could paint. And then she. In return, she left me.

[Ronnie]

This may look like a painting of a pool, but it's actually a painting of my heart breaking. And also, we don't see the painting, which is super bizarre. I rewound it three times. Like, did I miss it? But I went through frame by frame, and they won't show it. Like, are you afraid of getting sued? His page going to be on. You cannot show that. That is.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's my art.

[Ronnie]

So, yeah, that's my best.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's Propertiff Giggly squad.

[Ronnie]

Sorry. Give you permission.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was probably a painting that said, someone saved me.

[Ronnie]

So I hope you guys are ready for the Craig is a victim season, because here we go. He's like, I was betrayed by the person I love the most in this world. Yourself. Get out of here. You were betrayed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you watch your own TV show? It was all there. It was all there. We all saw it.

[Ronnie]

Geez. So we see a clip of them laying out in the sun and him being like, hey, let's hang out for two years. And then, like, get married and stuff. And she's like, okay. God, I can't believe it didn't work out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Betrayal. It's so thick. So Matt's like, how are you feeling? Be honest. He's like, well, it's been a journey. I will say I've hit a level of sadness that's not depression based because it's more bummer based because I never did anything to deserve becoming a villain in her story. But she needs a Villain. The only thing I did to become a vil just do villainous things. But other than that, I really wasn't a villain.

[Ronnie]

All I really did was lie and say that she didn't give me a month and a half of advance notice and breaking up with me to save my feelings in the press. Then to turn around and make it look like she'd been cheating on me the whole time in the press. No bigs was super bummer based. So then we see clips of Paige saying that she believes that Craig never bought that ring in the first place. And Madison's like, well, I feel bad for the guy. I mean, in his mind, he believes she was his laugh. And, you know, I think he's just so hurt. He just doesn't know how to explain what he's feeling because that requires, like, words that he just hadn't learned yet. Poor guy.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I'm so proud of you. He's like, I started to see someone else and we had. We met in the Bahamas six years ago, and I guess it's Natalie. I'm surprised they didn't show a clip of Natalie with her big laugh. That was like her. Her whole thing. She didn't even say anything. The one season she was on, she just show up and laugh.

[Ronnie]

Wait, I'm sorry, who? We've seen her on the show.

[Ben Mandelker]

Natalie. Isn't that the same Natalie? Remember the girl Wasn't they date the girl he was dating before Paige. Wasn't that Natalie in Covid. The COVID season and quarantine.

[Ronnie]

Oh, really? Natalie Buffett. I don't recognize this girl. I'm looking at her Instagram right now. She looks like Naomi. Actually kinda Natalie Buffett. Summer's over and I'm upset. And then her picture is like this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maybe not.

[Ronnie]

I'm very.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know she. Maybe it isn't the same. Let's see. Craig and Natalie. Southern charm. Maybe it's a different one. No, I think it's the same one.

[Ronnie]

Someone told me the dress comes before the man or something like that. She's modeling wedding dresses. Very pretty, whoever she is. So, yeah, that's her. So he's like, yeah, I mean, I wasn't really ready, so, you know, it's not fair to her. But like, you know, she made me feel whole again. And then once I felt whole again, I was like, well, I'm not into this anymore, and I was just lonely and I didn't know how to be with myself. So I rushed into the first person I ran into, Natalie Buffett.

[Ben Mandelker]

They always say the way to feel whole again is to get into a hole again.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, well, that around. Have two girlfriends. Just don't call them girlfriends. Just say, you're entertaining girls. He's like, yeah, but like, people say you have three great loves. I had the first one, Naomi, and then the second love was Paige. So I'm just holding on to that until the third one comes by.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm nervous because I'm 37. Did I age out? She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Because you still got Shep around. So now we cut the Shep at a store, and there's a lady. He's like, in this, like, baby store. And the lady's like, hello, hey. What can we help you with, sir? We're in the middle of putting more polka dots onto our Southern dresses, so please hurry up. Have so many dots. It's like.

[Ronnie]

They did have that attitude, too. They're like, excuse me, what would you like in our store, sir? They were looking at him like he was crazy. There was two.

[Ben Mandelker]

What are you doing here? The bar is down that way, sir.

[Ronnie]

Of course I don't have a baby. But someone I know is having a baby, and he's the ex boyfriend of the one who's married. So it's kind of funny, right? And they're like, awkward. Why would he talk like that? We don't talk like that in baby stores.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, well, I don't need help, but now I'll peruse. Like, he walks away. The lady mutters, so awkward.

[Ronnie]

He's like, I don't buy gifts for unborn babies. I don't even buy gifts for weddings. I'm not buying you silverware. That's your problem.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he's like. He's. He's looking at a stroller that, like, folds. And he's like, wow, it folds. This is crazy. And Austin comes in. He's like, wow, gosh, we won't have to worry about this for at least nine months. So Shep says, my dating life, well, it's active. I get excited easily. But disappointment soon follows. As doth goes the happiness, so doth goes the disappointment, says Shakespeare in one of his plays. I've learned a thing or two. New age range. It's increased to 27 now.

[Ronnie]

Gosh, gross. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

[Narrator]

Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right at first. All you can see is a thin white line stretching as Far as your eyes can see. Then the line starts to rise, but it's not the horizon at all. It's a wave, a 30 foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you. On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning. No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation. In this season of against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive. Follow against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad free right now on Wondery Plus.

[Ronnie]

I know when, when Craig was saying, have I aged out? What are you worrying about aging out? You're never going to be dating older girls anyway. It doesn't matter what age you guys are, you're still going to be dating 25 year olds. I don't know. I don't know why you're worried about your age.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I mean, the track record on this show is pretty grim. Thomas Ravenel, Whitney, Shep. I mean, that's probably what Craig is thinking. He's like, oh, no, am I gonna be just like those guys? Probably, yes.

[Ronnie]

Probably. Yeah, but with more pillows. So Austin's like, I think I'm going this thing, so what are you gonna do? And he tells us that him and Audrey are coming up on a year and a half of dating. I still do not believe. Will not believe it. I mean, I think they are dating. I think he's just constantly cheating. I mean, it's so. It's such a perfect setup for a guy on this show to have a girlfriend an hour and a half away that you only see a couple times a month. You know, he's set himself up for life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. We see a flashback of one of their dates and she's like, I had bad traffic coming down here. I'm like, over it. So it's like she's like fishing for him to say, why don't you move in? She's like, I'm so sick of the traffic. Yeah, she lives in Charlotte. Charlotte. But like, we try to see each other three to five times a month and it works out for us because it makes, it makes me crazy when people say, are you getting married? Are you having kids? Are you moving in? Because, like, we haven't talked about any of this. Like, we're good. Chill out, chill out. I'm like, is the person asking those questions, Audrey, because you might want to think. Hardly. Whatever. I'll just finish it there.

[Ronnie]

So Shep finds a wooden horse, and he's like, oh, my gosh, this wooden horse is cute. Surely this is cheap.

[Ben Mandelker]

50 bucks.

[Ronnie]

Bucks. What the heck? 150 bucks for a horse. Gosh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, shut up, Chef. As if you care. It shocks me how cheap Shep is. Mr. Trust Fund, Mr. Boykin himself, Mr. Monopoly inch in Charleston form. Mr. Has a bit of money around. I love when Austin tries to be witty. Like, which. When he tries to sort of act like Whitney starts making he, like, Mr. Bin himself. Like, okay, Austin, settle down.

[Ronnie]

Whoa, whoa. I found something for $45. It's a picture frame. Yay. Cheap ass. So he decides on a big Ted. Or Austin picks a big teddy bear. And he's like, Cory KE first texting me, he said Craig invited him to the baby shower.

[Ben Mandelker]

Gosh, Tell me. Tell me about la. It looked fun. Austin, he's like, oh, it was very much like, I'm a normal dude hanging out with friends. But, you know, we were at the bar and Craig had, like, a shot, like, multiple shots. Insane right now. So now I wonder about this whole, like, I'm not drinking so much thing. And we see a clip of them together hanging out in LA somewhere.

[Ronnie]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Austin's telling him to just, like, chill. And.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's a clip of when Austin was like, can't you just chill out and just have a couple of drinks? And Craig is like, no, I can't. That. Because, like, I'm an alcoholic. You don't understand what it's like when you're alcohol. You can't just have a couple of drinks. When he was wasted, by the way, I like that he did his. All his whole alcoholic speech thing while he was wasted after yelling at everybody on a beach. So Austin's like, well, I'm not judging. It's just guilty, guilty. You know, I mean, I think he was. He was saying his. Oh, Shep is saying. Well, I think he was just trying to say that, you know, his attitude was bigger than just your relationship. It wasn't you. It was the alcohol.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, as long as Craig doesn't turn into drunk dickhead Craig, then I'm here for the single Craig energy. So chef says, well, he was very much like, so needs to, like, calibrate his new normal because he's alienated us because Paige was his best friend. And he put all his eggs in that basket, a fake basket. That didn't even mean anything. From the day one. And then the basket fell, and the basket got a lot of likes. And now look, insincere basket with insincere eggs broken everywhere. We have to pick up the pieces. And now we can't even have an almond because Steve, the page broke the basket. It's like, shep, you know, the scene's still happening. Oh, gosh. Sorry about that.

[Ronnie]

There are broken eggs on the floor. So I immediately called Taylor. I said, what are you fucking stupid?

[Ben Mandelker]

That's not how you play egg toss.

[Ronnie]

So now we go over to Molly's new house, and she's looking for something under the dishwasher. And she's like, oh, are you gonna help me look for my corn snake doggy? Oh, I googled it. And they hide under appliances. So then we find out that Molly is a new reptile mom, because someone was rehoming their gecko and their corn snake, Cornholio. And so she took them, and so now she has three cats, a dog, a gecko, and a corn snake.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yep. And so she doesn't know where the snake is, so she's gonna lure the snake out with a mouse. So she takes out one of her frozen mice, and she's about to, like, place it somewhere. She sort of has it in Tupperware. But then there's a knock at the door. So she has to kind of like, she puts in the Tupperware. Rodrigo comes in. He's horrified. He hasn't even seen the mouse yet. He's horrified. It's just clutter. And he's like, I am a gay man, and I'm not used to this much clutter. I live with a male in a garden who keeps this, my house, in perfect condition. And this is against my entire aesthetic. What am I doing here? Am I really shooting a scene in this place? Oh, my God. There's a frozen mouse. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So he comes over with flowers, and he's like, well, I thought I'd bring one more thing to pile up in here. God, it really is a mess. Did you find the snake? What is. Is that a dead mouse? What are you doing?

[Ben Mandelker]

She's like, I'm thawing out the mouse to lure him. He's like, okay, well, I want to ask her and be say, like, happiness starts at home. Like, clean your house, please. Please don't have gays over until you've cleaned your house.

[Ronnie]

And she goes, yeah, well, I carved out a path to places that I go to often. He goes, so, like a hoarder? Your statement's like, a hoarder Right. It's like, well, I moved into a house that's a thousand feet less. You know, I'm a minimalist if I have room.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh. He's like, what's that? My euphonium. Tiny tuba. What about this? It's my. Thousands of shark teeth. She actually has a box full of shark teeth, which is. I thought she was joking when she was talking about shark teeth last time.

[Ronnie]

Last.

[Ben Mandelker]

Last season with the ship.

[Ronnie]

But yeah. He's like, so, yeah. How's your. How's your relationship with. Relationship? She's like, oh, my God, stop. I think that exploring that made me realize, like, what I don't want. Yeah. And I'm fine with that because. Okay. Yeah. So why don't you just get more pets? That would be great. How about maybe you could get some organization or a boyfriend or gerbils. How about a giraffe? How about a giraffe? You want a rhino in your house? Jesus.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, woman. You know, it's a great. You know, it's a great pet. It's a. It's a. It's a very unique animal called 1-800-got-JUNK. And I think you'll really love that pet. Why don't we. Why don't we get one for you, huh? So then we go over to Veneta, and she's going to Hill House Boutique. I love a boutique that's named after a haunted house. That's great, Vanita. We're going to Amityville. Amityville Horror Boutique. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

This is. This is the Laura Ashley dress based on the woman who drowned in Michelle Pfeiffer's lake.

[Ben Mandelker]

Are you guys gonna be. Did you guys see the new summer fashions they have at Elm Street Boutique?

[Ronnie]

I just want you to try this on. It is half burnt up because this woman was chased through a living nightmare. You're gonna love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

After this, why don't we go just see what they have at Atelier Camp Crystal Lake? I think it's gonna be just like that. I think they got some cool summer fashions.

[Ronnie]

You may recognize this dress. It looks a little young for you, but it was worn by the doll and insidious. So let's go ahead and put that on. So they try on some clothes and talk about how they've become best friends now. And Sally's like, yeah, I helped her through so much JT stuff, and I don't approve of that relationship because I know what kind of guy he is, and I just don't like him. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so this is Now Vanita's gonna. Vanita now tells the story of her and jt which is great because it gives the. Or the. The Southern Charm Orchestra a chance to do their favorite thing, which is to play that music. That's like, where it's like. It's like, here's what happened. And as it approaches the climax, they always do that thing with like a xylophone where it's like, they love doing that. So Vanita is like, well, after. After that night in New York, he came to my room until 5am and he said he wanted. You know, he's like, oh, I want to be with you. I want to be with you. So I hope we could potentially date. But he blocked me, and then he disappeared off the face of the earth. Like, he didn't disappear. You just forgot to look down. You would have seen him.

[Ronnie]

This is so her, though. Yeah. After the reunion, 5am it was so great. Thought we were going to be together. And then he blocked me. This is so venita story ending, you know? So Stella's like, yeah. And I was there for her, and Vanita said she wouldn't stop calling me. And then it turned into hanging out every day and then texting every day. And now it's just blossomed into this beautiful friendship which surely is going to last for seasons and season ends.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they try on various dresses, and Sally's like, so the baby showers, boys and girls. Obviously Craig's going to be there. How do you feel about it? And so the producer says, what happened with Craig? Blow by blow. What happened, Vanita? So she says, okay, blow one. Craig is a. And we see watch happens live where it's like, what about Vanita saying she's on. Craig said I won't be associated with.

[Ronnie]

With her.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, to be fair, you barely associated with her in the first place. I don't think any of you guys even realized she was on your show until, like, maybe right this moment.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, other than saving her from drowning that one time, I don't even think you noticed she was there.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't think you ever interacted.

[Ronnie]

So she goes on Nick File show and he's saying, you know, do you think Craig should let everyone know what Paige or Paige. What Paige is or isn't doing? Meaning, like, was she having an affair? Was she not having an affair? What were all these rumors? And she goes, yeah. I mean, speak your truth. And he goes, but what if he does? And she goes, then stop acting like, you know. And they're like, ooh Ooh. So she basically went and stood up for Paige, and Craig didn't like it. And he said, she's just regurgitating Internet gossip. And then we even see a tick tock. The moment Venita found out that Craig will no longer associate himself with her. Watch with her, and it's a watch party with all the girls. He's like, yeah, I'm not friends with her. And they're like.

[Ben Mandelker]

No more free pillows. So she goes, well, I consciously made the decision to text Paige over Craig because who do I have a stronger relationship with? Paige, who actually has a trajectory in fashion. Paige, who actually has acknowledged my presence at least once in the past four years. Paige, not Craig. Sorry.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I got some pajamas out of it. What's that man ever given me other than my life? So Sally's like, well, I can see both sides, which is where you know you're in trouble. Oh. She's like, he probably expected all his friend group to have his back. And she's like, all I said is, if you don't know she's out there cheating on you, then stop saying she's out there cheating on you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So sadly is like, it's okay, Vanita. We support you. He supports you. You pick the winning horse in this one. So Sally is like, I just thought it was weird that she took his side because if you have a friend that brought someone into the. Into the friend group group and they break up, you stick with the person in the friend group. She has no relationship with Craig. She's actually. I don't think she's obligated. Yes, Craig saved her from drowning, but if she was. If she was also truly drowning someone else, like, he was just the first one to get there, I think. But I think, like, Bonita, I think Benita should totally go with Paige. It's just a smart thing to do. Vanita's a fashion influencer. You stick with Paige. Craig is like. Craig doesn't pay her any mind. Anyway, there's. There's no difference in the relationship this season than there was last season.

[Ronnie]

I mean, I think it was probably wrong of her because you're in a show together, you're on the same cast, and, you know, it's kind of unfair that they all have to go on these other shows and opine about this shit anyway. Like, that's unfair that she would even have to have an opinion. It's not her relationship. But they do ask. I mean, I guess if you're on the same show with someone that I sing to do would be to stick behind your people. Like Summer House all stuck behind Paige right away. But, you know, obviously they'd seen a lot of Craig's douchey behavior, too. So I could see how Craig would be annoying, but.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I can see 100 how he would be annoyed, because I. I think what Sally is saying, I get that, you know, like, she brought. He brought Paige down into their circle, and then all of a sudden, Vanita's taking Page aside. And that's true, but, like, at the same time, you know, Vanita is her own person, and she doesn't really have much of a relationship with Craig. And Craig's always been condescending to Vanita, to be honest. So I say Vanita's well within her.

[Ronnie]

And I'm just asking this because I don't remember, but. And not to be, like, argumentative, but wasn't Paige the one who was always nice to Vanita out of everybody?

[Ben Mandelker]

Always. Paige was always nice to Vanita. No, Craig, No. Yeah, well, Craig may have been nice nice. I think. I think. I think they were nice to Vanita, but I don't think that they were. I don't think that. That they were ultimately very welcoming. I think that, like, you see him make greater overtures to someone like Madison than to someone like Vanita. And if I seem to remember, like, Craig was being addicted to Vanita last season towards the end of it, like, I seem to remember there was some dinner party, was like, be quiet, Vanita.

[Ronnie]

I.

[Ben Mandelker]

But this is just in my memory. I don't know if this was actually factual. I just think that, like, I don't know. I. I'm so team Paige that I just will do any mental work around to support anyone who supports Paige. I mean, I believe it or not, I actually like Craig, too. I actually do like Craig. But I think in this situation, I think I'm totally. I'm totally on Paige's side, and that's just. That's just the way it is. Bruce horns.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Sally's like, well, I'm mad at her, and you didn't do anything wrong, and he just dumped the friendship, and that's not fair. So I want you to be friends, and I want you to be friends because we're on the same show together, and we should all be friends because we're in a group. I'm on a show, and I don't want to be friends with you and then not be able to film with anybody because you. You're not getting along with the lead of the show. So. Yeah. And Vanita's like, okay, well, if I have a conversation with him and it doesn't go well, and she's like, I'll fight him for you. Don't you worry.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Did Craig maybe defend Vanita against jt Maybe that was something that happened last season. I don't know. I mean, like, if it. Anything. Like, I don't remember anything be past August of 2025. So, you know, I'll need some help on this one, but I sort of have a vague memory.

[Ronnie]

It was also coming for JT So hard the whole year, and she's trying to date J.T. you know, it was convenient.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was. It filled his. His art. His larger battle against jt so.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

As opposed to really sticking up for Vanita? Maybe.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I don't know. So then, Patricia's house, they're getting ready for the baby shower. It's one hour till. Don't want the table there. God. I'll get that plan off of it. It looks silly. I don't want people coming over here and saying Patricia's just a random plant placer. The hell's wrong with you? Do you want another moment in this town? I've got a van waiting right outside these gates to take you away if.

[Ben Mandelker]

You'Re so dead set on having an inanimate object in the middle of that path. And just get Randy to stand there, okay? Because that. I'm not having that plant on that table, okay? Oh, don't put that there. That looks nice. It looks like it could blow over just like me. Am I right? Laugh at that, Randy. Laugh.

[Ronnie]

Shut up, Randy. I said left early or not now. Oh, thank you. Swan delivery. These swans look like cheap prostitutes. Can we please fix the lays on the swan? Bring them here. I'll do it myself.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're tacky. Put the lays lower and make them bigger. Was this some sort of northern necklace? Come on, let's make it look pretty.

[Ronnie]

There's more sloppy lays on those swans than I see in the cast. Okay, that's just not gonna work for me. So people are setting up, and Craig and Corey show up. And Whitney's like, what's up, man? It's been a minute. Whoa. Do you guys work out together? I mean, look at you beef brothers.

[Ben Mandelker]

We see some flashbacks in here because Corey starts to anyone who didn't see Winter House or Summer House, Craig's like, corey and I have been best friends since we went to Kappa City together in college. And when people. Most people will tell you. Even Whitney. Even Whitney will Say it like no one saw one of us without the other ever. It's like, really funny if you think about it. But like, the funny part is like, you guys never see me with him. But, like, truth is, like, we're always together. So it's like, funny because we're like, always together and we see flashbacks and we see like, Corey back in the Winterhouse days. He was definitely like, a little beefier and he was like, he had. He was just like a frat boy. He just looked like a frat boy. But now, now that he has like some. An ounce of fame. We saw the last BravoCon, he showed up looking cray cray. He had like that orange suit, right? And the glasses. So he's grown his hair out. He has the literal same haircut as Benson Boone. He. He looks, he looks legit. He looks legitimately crazy now. I'm like, you're gonna look back at this someday and be like, why did I wear this on tv?

[Ronnie]

He's just so gross. He's so douchey and gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just be a frat boy. Don't try to be like, like hipster right now. Just be a frat boy. Just be what you are.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's like get a butterfly tattoo on his chest or some. You know, he's going to remember when he was wearing pearl necklaces.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yeah, he'.

[Ronnie]

Oh, try hard. So Craig has gifts. And we see a flashback to Craig giving a teddy bear to Cameron and her being like, oh, my God, Craig, what is this? You are so stupid. Look, everybody, look at this stupid, ugly gift Craig gave me. A loser trying to sell stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it still was funny. Still funny to me. I mean, honestly. So Sally and Tyler show up. Tyler is Rodrigo's boyfriend, and Molly's there with Rodrigo. They all show up, up. And then Shep and Austin arrive with this teddy bear. They get this big, giant, expensive teddy bear and they just throw it on the ground. Sitting there collecting various ticks and mosquitoes that were not collected by, by the, the attempts at pest regulation by this cast. And she like, gosh, this bear is intrusive.

[Ronnie]

Gosh, it's everywhere. So Craig goes to say hi to Austin and he's like, yeah, well, after the breakup, Austin and Shep were extremely supportive. It's just like, really cool to hang out with my friends again.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Mass and Bren Hudson show up. Hudson is like, got really. Hudson's now, like, entering Tweendom. And it's like, really strange to see. He's like a. He's like a Little man now. And Rodrigo and Brett have the same shirt, so they love that. And Austin is like, God, Huh? I love that you have a watermelon in your dress. That's amazing.

[Ronnie]

It's hilarious.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was my joke. Cuz. You're pregnant. You get it, Madison, Craig's had an alien. Well, watermelon's bad art. This is insane right now. Why would you do the alien thing? You knew I was gonna do the watermelon bit.

[Ronnie]

So then Vanita and Leva arrive, and Craig's mad that he sees Vanita. He's like, oh. And Vanita wants to say hi to Madison, but she won't because Craig is over there. And so Rodrigo's like, kill it with kindness. Kill it with kindness. Go over there. Do it. She's like, I'm not going out of my way. I'm not. So she tells us that she's terrified of Craig's temper. It's scary. I've seen it. I've seen Craig yell at Naomi. I saw him yell at Leva. I've seen him yell at jt. He's a certified, and he's not someone I'm willing to go to bat with. Which I don't blame you, and you're not wrong, but you went on all those podcasts, so I think at some point you're gonna have to.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, listen, I also think he has a temper, and I think that he. He does the. I'm just like, sweet Craig. Like, I think that's, like, an act. But that being said, like, hey, you're on a reality show. Get in there. Come on. Come on, Vanita. You're doing well so far. So then Rod and Vanita go over, and they say hi to Madison. So Craig's like, I'm walking away, just like Paige did to me. I'm betrayed.

[Ronnie]

Just say hi to Vanita. And he says, why? I don't like her. I don't with her. Okay, that's it. So he tells us that Vanita said he was. Oh, no. He tells. Yeah, he says to us, like, she said, I was enjoying my breakup, reveling in all the attention I was getting from it, and dragging it on because I didn't want it to end. I mean, it's not a bad call on her part. You really were like that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

You started this with I've been betrayed.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. You said, I've been betrayed by the person I love most of my life. I've been so betrayed. Anyone that would say that is clearly not my friend. Here comes one right now, So Molly shows up. She found her snake, by the way. The snake was just hanging down the staircase. And then Patricia shows up, and, you know, Matt's like, I want these pink up bears up year round. She's like, yeah, hey, I like Hudson. He's so cute. Does he want to be a butler someday? Because guess what? There may be an opening soon in.

[Ronnie]

You did a good job with that one. Here. Hey, Hudson, put your finger in these halls. Wait a minute. That's an electrical socket. Your kid's too smart to be a butler. Randy, come over here and show them how to do it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah, Madison's like, she's just worried because Hudson turned out so well. But the second kid is always the one that goes all over the place, you know, so, you know, so massive mom. Her. Her mom and her sister come. Casey and Tara, the born for corn brigade. And then Craig's like, we should have a party after this in the lair. Whitney's lair.

[Ronnie]

So we see shots of Whitney's lair, his black room in his mama's house. And then Sheps, Shep's like, wow, I'm here for the new Craig. He wants to party again. Yeah. Well, I'm starting to remember who I was before I was brainwashed in my last relationship by a woman. An evil, brainwashing woman. I was confident. I was good at hanging out with girls. Remember, everybody?

[Ben Mandelker]

You were also jamming butter knives into walls and on Adderall.

[Ronnie]

I don't remember you being particularly good at hanging out with girls in any season of this show. It's been on a decade, sir. So he's like, yeah, you know, I just have a huge void to fill. So I'm partying and I'm using girls. So then everyone's talking about how good Craig's look. And Sally's like, wow, God really blessed him with that hair cheese.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Rod is like, I know. Well, he is single now, Sally, she goes, yeah, but I'm a girl's girl to the death. With V. She's my best friend. We got that on camera, right? Okay. I don't have to keep on saying that, right? Okay, good. I don't want to have to do it anymore.

[Ronnie]

Tyler's like, this is Southern charm. There's always wiggle Wiggle room girl. So now shots. Everybody's doing shots. And Molly's like, I can't do shots because I have, like, a band concert later.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Corey's like, band concert. That's hilarious. So Molly's like, yeah, I play a miniature tuba. It's Called a euphonium. Shut the up. A miniature trombone. I want to come back to this. She's like, no. Miniature tuba. Do you know what a tuba is? I think I need to hear the sound of a tuba. How do you play? Sir, if you do not know what, you are not going to know what a tuba is based on the sound of it. I guarant you. How does this man not know what a tuba is? This guy is the biggest idiot. I always thought he was an idiot, but I've never been more. I've never been more in awe of his idiocy than him declaring on TV that he doesn't know what a tuba is.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he's like, how do you play the tuba? And she's like, you spit like this. He's like, so you basically just imitate Austin? Yeah, yeah. Cory's like a huge flir. But, like, I mean, I guess he's hot, like, in a fuckboy kind of a way.

[Ben Mandelker]

So when I come over to your house tonight, are you gonna play the trumpet or the trombone? Like, sir, she literally plays a miniature tuba. She never said trumpet or trombone. You are going to make me strangle you through the tv. You've done a lot of bad things on these show shows before, but this may be the thing that gets that this is gonna put me over the edge with you.

[Ronnie]

She says, I'm gonna make you hold my snake. And he's like, that's not happening. You can hold my snake, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is it like a coral snake?

[Ronnie]

No, it's an alconda. Yeah, it's very feisty.

[Ben Mandelker]

Molly goes, ooh. She tells us, ooh, wow. Shiny, toxic boy, like, my therapy's not working. Well, if I think this is who is cute, like, yep, you said it. I said it. Not me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's pretty bad. So Madison's like, oh, I love them together. Wow, a snake and a snake handler looks good. And Craig's like, yeah, I knew Corey would like her. And Sally's fine, but she ain't your type, right? I mean, don't you generally like girls who are smarter than you and more ambitious than you, etc. Etc. He's like, no, I think she's beautiful. I mean, Sally would probably have a lot of fun together with me. Well, who knows, though? So then he tells Sally that they want to have an after party in the lair. And he's like, yeah, let's just. Let's just do it at the lair. Okay, the lair.

[Ben Mandelker]

We have to stop calling it the lair. Like, you put all that money into making this like mid century rat pack paradise. But you keep on calling it the lair. I feel like, can we call it the smoking room? Can we call it the lounge? But the lair just feels like something really bad and illegal is going to happen in there that'll cause premature cancellation of Southern charm. So let's, let's, let's just call it the lounge going forward.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I mean, it's a lot nicer than just saying it's the shed in my mom's backyard.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're right. That is a better rebrand. The backyard shed. So then Rodrigo goes up to Vinita. He's like, so how are you feeling? Because when I said to Craig, let's go say hi to Vanita, he said, why would I do that? I wish at this point he would just like let go of that pettiness that he's behind because he's like behind the whole fracture. And he was like, like, well, he made the decision that whatever happened between us stayed petty when he verbalized and he stated out loud, I don't like her.

[Ronnie]

So then Sally's asking Craig how he is with Vanita and he's like, I almost didn't come. Like I couldn't eat, eat or sleep for a month. Okay. How dare you. Sure.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, I'm sure. Craig was so upset about Vanita that he just had. He, he could barely muster the strength to eat something. Oh, please, Greg, please. Oh, he almost didn't come to, to this. To the first big group scene of the season because of Vanita. Oh my God, this guy.

[Ronnie]

And so Vanita's like, well, he could have tried to talk to me about it instead of just saying I don't associate myself with her. And so now we see people parting and cheersing for the new baby. And let's see, Madison is. Oh, the other Madison sighting I see. I was like, madison, we've already seen Madison. It's the GW Madison.

[Ben Mandelker]

I was very excited. I needed to point out that I did see GW's Madison in the background. I was only excited because one of my favorite aspects of Southern charm is like the Simpsons esque size of this cast that's so huge. And you see someone in the background. It's like seeing Mo in the background of a scene or like, or Edna Krabappel RIP somewhere. I'm like, look, it's Gwyn's. Gwyn's is back there. So I just wanted to like point out Barney.

[Ronnie]

He's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now Austin's talking about, about Audrey living in Charlotte and he's like, yeah, it's good. It's good. So I can really focus on things that need my attention. All of the nothing I do all day, so to say it's good. It's all good, so to say. What are you talking about? You do nothing. Drop hop. You sell in. Like the. The one to Harris Teeter that has taken pity on you, that's around the corner, and you're doing nothing all day except getting into a golf cart and going to a bar, so to say it needs my attention, certainly.

[Ronnie]

Oh, hey, Craig. Did you go out last night? He's like, no, I stayed in and finished your present. I didn't know how to package it, so I'm just gonna give it to you. Oh, my God. It's a quilt. Yeah, I made it, like, out of all of my cum socks off the floor. It's been a really rough month. Hope you like it.

[Ben Mandelker]

I didn't. I almost didn't eat. It was. It was a miracle that I finished this. I was so weak from not eating because I was so sad about Vanita.

[Ronnie]

Wait a minute. Craig is over there opening gifts on a sidewalk. That is tacky. That is tacky.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love Patricia calling everything tacky. This episode, like the. The size of the necklace on the inflatable uninflatable swan. That's tacky. It needs to be a. A sophisticated. A sophisticated inflatable swan wears a large necklace.

[Ronnie]

This. So Madison is touched by this. This quilt. And he's like, yeah. Each square has a different meaning. This one is how betrayed I felt by Paige. And this other one is how hard I cried because Paige made me cry. And this other one is a painting that Paige made when we were still in love. By the way, I'm sorry it's X'd out, but I don't have the rights to show it on this quilt.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wait, this. This square. This represents a piece of chicken that I really wanted to eat, but I just couldn't eat because I. Because of Vanita. So the chicken went to waste and was really sad. That's what that square means.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I've been in Missouri learning to quilt the last few weeks, so this is the first one I did by myself. It's like, oh, my God, I love the stitching. And we see him using a machine.

[Ben Mandelker]

Craig, please tell me you did not take up residency at the McBee family farm to learn how to quilt like I was in Missouri. Get your bed and put it inside. There. Now you got yourself a quilt.

[Ronnie]

So when everyone was out partying, this is what I did last night. She's like, oh, my God. I just keep on out shining them. Craig, you just keep my own.

[Ben Mandelker]

He is such a artist. I love that. Like, even everyone was partying except for me. I was inside being betrayed and crying for the women who were so mean to me. So I had to make a quilt. Oh, my God. The way he's. The way he tries to so blatantly illicit sympathy is hilarious to me.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So now it's time to get gifts. So Molly's like, oh, we're missing the gifts. And Corey says, oh, are you trying to arrest me? You can put handcuffs on me. Just cuffed me and put him in the back for the car. Yeah. You just touched my butt. Hey, stumble. She just touched my butt. That.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Molly? Because now Molly is drunk, and she's like, oh, God, I'm late for band. We're supposed to do a performance. He's like, well, why are you supposed to be there? She's like, 15 minutes ago. Oh. So then she texts. She texts like, the band leader goes, are you going to hate me if I don't come? And the guy goes, probably. Or I guess, is everyone going to hate me? Molly, it's a per. It's a performance. You can't just, like. The euphonium is central to any piece of classical music. We all know that. Mozart was basically like, I wish I could play the euphonium, but I can't, so I'll just have to compose this music that's well known and documented. You can't leave. You can't just, like. You can't just stand up. Your. Your performance.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, what's a. What's an orchestral night without hearing? I mean, come on, Molly.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can't do Fur Elise without the. Without the instrument that actually makes the fur sound.

[Ronnie]

So she starts crying, and she's like, I dicked around. And so now I can't go. And I just feel bad. I let them down. They're never gonna let me back in there. They're gonna be so mad. I mean, they're gonna have to do a search for another euphonium player, because there's not many, but still, she's, like.

[Ben Mandelker]

Blowing her nose loudly. She was, like, literally making euphonium noises with her nose.

[Ronnie]

I was like, Cory's, like, not want to you now, so this is disgusting. You skipped euphonium day for me, and I'm not gonna touch you.

[Ben Mandelker]

So good luck, Molly. Molly returning for her second season as a hoarder with a snake on the loose. Crying over missing her orchestral performance is exactly what she needed to do. And she is already sprinted out to being the one to watch for season 11.

[Ronnie]

So we go open presents, and Shep has bought a gift, and he's like, look. It's called there are moms that are way worse than you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I wish I could read that, but I'm so tired from staying in, working on my quilt all night, that I can't even keep my eyes open to look at the book. Sorry, everyone.

[Ronnie]

Oh, I hope you like my gift. That came from England. It's done by a dress designer that does the Princess of Wales. Children. It's really funny because they have these little sweaters, and they say, I'm still part of the family, not, like, stupid. And then they point just in case they're by Meghan and Harry's kids. And now Andrew.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, Craig, you just spilled on the fancy. So then Tyler Rodrigo. This is funny. Tyler Rodrigo's like, okay, this is. Just open it. It's very special. And. And Tyler Rodrigo has painted a picture of a teddy bear. And it's in. And this is important. We didn't talk about this, but Teddy is the name of Madison's father, her late father, who just passed. So teddy teddy bears. It's all very meaningful to her. So it made a nice little painting. And he presented it in this, like, hideous gold circular frame. Like, it was from, like, 17, 1663. I was like, what is happening here? And he's like, here it is. It's my. It's my painting of a teddy bear. And they start crying. And I was like, okay, I guess.

[Ronnie]

Not every frame on this show, I think, like, I don't think they sell other kind of picture frames in that town.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's just how it is. Like, rococo.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then Molly's still crying at the bar. She's like, oh, my God. Like, I'm sorry I sat here and sobbed to you, but, like, it was a really good. Important. For my euphonium today. I didn't just let the band down. I let down my euphonium. And Cory's just, like, gross.

[Ben Mandelker]

The bartender is just. She's at this point, she's just crying to the bartender. Cory's already just gotten out of there. The bartender's like, hey, bartenders are therapists, too.

[Ronnie]

Am I right?

[Ben Mandelker]

You know?

[Ronnie]

And Sally says, are you crying? And she's like, I don't know. I'm just upset because I skipped my concert for this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sounds like, no, you made the right decision. Don't you worry okay, I'm gonna go talk to Craig. Hi, Craig. It's like, hey, girl. Shall we go to the bunk house? Let's go there. Let's go to the after party. Since I didn't get to party last night, since I was up so late making a quilt.

[Ronnie]

So I'm gonna check on Vanita because I got girl code now. Okay, we're gonna try that for the first episode of the season. So, Vanita, we need you to talk to Craig. She's like, no. She goes, but I'm ready. And she goes, but I'm not ready. She goes, but you gotta be the bigger person. She's like, but I'm always the bigger person, and I don't want to do that. Okay, he can come to my house.

[Ben Mandelker]

So love is like, he's never gonna come around. Don't even try. And she's. Love is like, look, he's gonna agree to do it, but then he'll never do it. She's like, yeah, he will. No, he won't. No. But then he's gonna look so bad. I don't think Craig has ever been concerned about looking bad. So now we go into the lair. So Austin shows up. So. So, so one says, and then bourbon. Everyone's drinking bourbon. And Craig is having a. A big pour of Pappy. Cuz Whitney's like, pouring a giant. A giant glass of Pappy for Craig. And he goes. Whitney's like, well, try this, Pappy. It's as smooth. As smooth as his brain.

[Ronnie]

So Vanita's outside and she's like, well, I don't want to speak to Craig because I'm afraid he's going to yell at Madison's baby shower, and that's the last thing I want. And Sally's like, well, why don't you wait till the afterparty so it's not Madison's baby shower? And she's like, wait, there's an after party. And she's like, oh, my God. Does nobody else know about this? We're going to Whitney's lair. Craig is there. Just come over there.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're acting like there's some bar that's set up across town that they're all gonna hop into Ubers. It's like right there. It's like, right. It's like, right.

[Ronnie]

See that little planned.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, but it's also like, it's just right there. Just go in there. Just walk in.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And she's like, no one else knows about this but me. Why are you making it sound like it was some planned Thing. Sally, just tell her. So Vanita's like, well, I guess Sally's a girl's girl until a man is involved. So, like, I don't think that Sally should have to leave this party just because Venita is. If Benita wants to go, then it's her responsibility to make up with the person. Right. Why does everyone else have to leave and be mad? I don't get it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I mean, Sally basically is like, I, here's my version of. Of girl code. She's like, it doesn't mean I can't talk to the enemy, but it just means that they get into a fight. I have Anita's back and. But if I'm having a conversation with Craig, then that's all it is. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where I land on that. I have not decided if I agree. I see what she's saying. It's like, I'll always have Anita's back, but I can also, like, talk to the person.

[Ronnie]

But I don't like when. I don't like when my friends cause drama. And then I have to, like, leave parties and stuff because they take stands. Like Vanita. Yeah, that's what I started it. She went on national whatever, podcast radio or whatever and said what she said.

[Ben Mandelker]

Npr, if you will.

[Ronnie]

And if it pissed Craig off, then she was the one who started it. So she. If she wants to make up, then she should be the one to make up. But also she shouldn't feel the need to storm out of this thing just because there's an after party. Just go to the after party and ignore Craig. Like, I just. I just don't want to be forced into not liking other people because my friend started.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's my. Yeah, I kind of agree with Sally on this one. And I also feel like if it were a breakup, if this were. Especially if this were like a Paige and Craig breakup situation, if Vanita and Craig had been in like a, like a big relationship and it was fresh, it was new, then, like, yeah, maybe I might, like, hang closer to my girlfriend and just really be with her, because that's like a higher stakes thing. But this is some stupid. That took place across social media. So I don't think that, like, Sally should be denied from shooting a scene at the after party just because Vanita is like, you know, is. Is upset. Right. Like, I. I think. And if anything, like you said, I think Vanita should also just go into the party because it's Not a. This is not Craig.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're shooting not hosted by Craig. Like, they just went in there.

[Ronnie]

It's not big of enough deal to be walking off, you know, but that's always Vanita. She has a hard time gauging, like, the drama. Like, what drama is how high the drama is in this situation, you know? You know what I mean? She's either underplaying it like she did forever with JT or she's kind of overplaying it so she never knows how to get the temperature quite right.

[Ben Mandelker]

I actually thought, actually, though, she did the right thing, which is that she stormed off. It wasn't really that much of, you know, storm off. She just sort of walked off and she got the cliffhanger shot, which is her just leaving the party, being like, I'm out of here. So. Look at you, Vanita.

[Ronnie]

Storylines versus Sally and versus Craig. Yeah. Pretty good.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. It's a fun, fun, frothy first episode. Excited for it. Thanks, everyone for being here. This was a great, great time.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we sure love you guys. We'll be back tomorrow with Orange County. Talk later.

[Ben Mandelker]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison block.

[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

No shrinking violet Coutar we love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple P Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.