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Kristen
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Ben Mandelker
Guess what happens when there's so much. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is today paging Dr. Karam. Sorry, Dr. Rondell. Paging Dr. Rondall is Ronnie Karam.
Kristen
Well, hello.
Ben Mandelker
Antoya.
Kristen
Oh yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Dr. Jackie, Dr. Simone, Dr. Heavenly, Dr. Dr. Contessa. Oh, is hilarious. How's it going, Ronnie? What's going?
Kristen
Everything's great. You know what? Just coming back from the break, feeling great, digesting, ready for Monday, you know, so onslaught of Bravo shows this week. So I'm just like, you know what, Just sit in your chair and just relax and enjoy yourself with your friend, honey, because there's gonna be a lot of shows coming down the pike this week.
Ben Mandelker
Yep, this is, this is where all of the promotion and marketing from BravoCon pays off for Bravo because now all the shows are launching. Thanksgiving's done. Time for new shows to start. So here we are with marriage and medicine. Just a reminder in case you hear this in time that we have Crappy hour tonight. We also have an Amazon Live join us. Crappy hours at 5:30 on the West coast and Amazon Live is at 4:00 on the west coast. It's back to back live action. Also join us on Patreon where you can watch us with crappings on demand, bonus episodes, all that great stuff. Patreon.com watch for crappens. Get the full experience, guys. So that's the big news around these parts. Marriage, medicine. You know, we were so fortunate. We were fortunate, very fortunate that we got to speak to Ms. Quad at BravoCon. Speaking of which, she was just lovely and beautiful and that was, that was great. I don't think we'd ever met Quad before. Right. Is that our first time encountering Quad?
Kristen
Yeah, it's our first time meeting Quad.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Loved her.
Kristen
She was so nice. Just as beautiful and charismatic in person.
Ben Mandelker
Yes, truly. We all, we did see Contest. I saw Contessa. I didn't talk to her Contessa, but I saw her from like at that, the famed moment when we were standing at that entrance forever. Contessa came out and Toya also came out. So we definitely had our, our marriage medicine, you know, brushes at BravoCon, which was a delight. But yeah, it's fun to kind of revisit this show that, you know, we covered all the way since the beginning and we took off the last few seasons. But, you know, we're back. We're back with Marriage Medicine.
Kristen
Yeah, we are back. I don't know. We have to see how many of you listen to it and all that good stuff, like how long we're going to recap it. And I hope we get. I hope everybody listens. We stopped recapping because really, no one was listening to this podcast.
Ben Mandelker
Our numbers are really low on our marriage ye.
Kristen
But this tends to come out when Bravo just gives us an onslaught of shows. And right now, that's what they're doing. I mean, they've got Beverly Hills coming back, Vanderpump Rules coming back. Southern Charm is back. Everything is on right now. So if it gets to be too much, we will leave it probably up to a vote, I would imagine, right?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, we'll just. We'll. We'll see how it plays out. Like, December is also tough for us because we usually have pretty bad bandwidth issues. Everything gets kind of compressed into a two week and a half week period. And then we do all sorts of other stuff and there's events. It's crazy. So we're gonna try our best, but for right now, let's just stay in the present every moment.
Kristen
Just stay in the present, guys. Yeah, Just things and then, like, take it away. You know what I mean? But here we are. We will keep watching it as we always have. We've never stopped watching it, that's for sure. Married to Medicine.
Ben Mandelker
I was gonna say. We even did marriage medicine, Los Angeles and Houston. So, you know. Yeah, we've watched. We like Houston, actually.
Kristen
Yeah, Los Angeles was a chore, but Houston was really good. I actually wish Houston came back.
Ben Mandelker
Houston was really good, actually. Houston, I feel like we forgot about that. But Houston was. Houston was really good. Yeah.
Kristen
Houston deserves another chance, for sure.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yeah, that was great. Okay, well, here we are. You know, one of my challenges from the past few seasons of Married to Medicine is that it kind of hits the same beats every single year. And admittedly, all these Bravo shows do, but really, marriage, medicine, it always starts with Simone and Quad being mad at each other, and it always ends with Simone and Cecil taking everyone to the Caribbean for unlicensed couples therapy. It's always the same thing. And in the middle, Jackie maybe has, like, a party with vibrators, and then they have some sort of dinner where we've got to heal the sisterhood that never has been healed in over a decade. The lemon squeeze has been squeezing. Um, so there was part of me that was like, again, But I don't know, for this time, I kind of was like, I was kind of, like, ready to. It's like I was like, let me. Let's just dive into it rather than complain about it always being the same embrace for being a ritual.
Kristen
Well, this time they actually did add some stuff to it. Like, we've got, well, two newbies technically, but three, because Mimi was new last year. Yeah, but she didn't do that. You know, she didn't have that big of a part. And this year they kept her, and then they added another couple of newbies. So I think that that'll kind of freshen it up, too. And I always love the season when it always also starts with Toya pretending she's the mature one in the group. I'm like, oh, my God, why can't everybody just start fighting all the time? You know, like, everybody just need to get along. And then, you know, by the end of the first one, she's fighting and getting messy with. I just love it. And also, it also the classic of Toya opening with a new house.
Ben Mandelker
I mean, every season, Toria moves every season. I. I actually thought this premiere was great. I thought this was one of the strongest premieres they've actually ever had. I really loved it. I was. I was really in it. I think I was refreshed that the entire cast seemed as exhausted as I was. Between the Simone and Quad rivalry, it's gone on for so long, and they have these fake moments of healing. They literally kicked Quad off the show, and, like, she still came back. And it's just kind of funny because they do these things to make it seem like, oh, we're just gonna move past this situation. And the way we're moving past it is we're just gonna banish Quad from the show. She's moving on. The show is moving on. It's like, no, she's back. It's always in the same place, and everyone just seems exhausted by it, which I thought was funny. The only thing that I really was sad about is that we got no Heavenly, which was surprising. But, you know, it seems like Heavenly is, you know, dealing with stuff. And maybe almost the producers were like, we've got some so many new people on. Let's let them breathe a little bit. Because we know if Heavenly's on there, it's just. It's. They won't be able to get a word in edgewise.
Kristen
Well, I think she's just staying away because of the sun stuff. But Heavenly is, I believe, a friend of this year. Yeah. So she's. Yeah, she's going to be just Kind of in the background all season. But it looks. She's in the previews a lot, isn't she?
Ben Mandelker
Credits.
Kristen
What are you getting a. What are you getting a. What's her.
Ben Mandelker
I'm getting, like.
Kristen
I mean, how you just said her name. Toya. Toya's doing a thing this season, which I don't remember her doing every season, where she's doing a squeak at the beginning of sentences. That's new, right? But it's really funny. She'll be. She'll be like, you guys be messy. I'm like, what is this squeak? When did. And it's consistent. It's like every other, you know, paragraph. She'll start with a squeak.
Ben Mandelker
You may be right. I'm looking at the. I think you may be right. I'm looking at the cast photo of Married to Medicine. Married. I just became a New Yorker on Bravo. And it looks like we've got Tessa and Simone, Jackie, Quad Toya standing there. Everyone's doing a pose, and Toya's just standing there, like, straightforward at the camera, like.
Kristen
I'm the center. Hot. Hot reader. Right? What do you call the stethoscope? Stethoscope. White.
Ben Mandelker
And then you have. Was this. Is this. What's her face then?
Kristen
Well, you should have did.
Ben Mandelker
Steve Sanders is what. What's her name? You should have did. What's. What's her name again? Why am I blanking on her name?
Kristen
Mimi.
Ben Mandelker
Mimi. Yes.
Kristen
That's Mimi. Right, Mimi. Okay, so leave that. Heavenly is down back seating at this season. She's taking a backseat, so. Which I guess is probably not something to say because I think her son is accused of, like, trying to run over a cop or something, or like, driving his car towards a cop. I was trying to figure it out today. That's all I got. So here we go. We start, as we always do with Simone, with patience. And they're talking about the woman going through menopause. And the wife is like, oh, my God, the menopause is torturing my poor husband. And she's like, is the torture recent, or has it been the entire marriage?
Ben Mandelker
He's like, it's recent because it's recent. Look at him complimenting you. So then we. We are in sisterhood.
Kristen
And that's the other thing. I was so glad to hear the word sisterhood 900 times because the only show that has eclipsed Married to Medicine in all these years is the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. In saying sisterhood. This show, I think this show. Run for it.
Ben Mandelker
Heather Gay is doing it too.
Kristen
Oh, that's true. That's true. So anyway, then we go over to Toya.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And Toya's teaching her son to drive, which is crazy, because it's just, you know, these children grow up soon. Soon he'll be. Ashton will be having an entire season dedicated to him leaving for college, which is the tradition on Bravo. God, the worst thing that happens is when these kids turn 18 and we have to sit through an entire season of watching them go off to college very slowly. So anyway, a lot of kids these.
Kristen
Days, why they have such a heavy foot. Why you got to drive so fast? And he's like, you drive 100 mil. Our mother. And she goes, nah. And he goes, huh? I've taken a photo of it. It's in my camera roll.
Ben Mandelker
Like, what? Then Contessa comes. Contessa comes home and is hanging out in the kitchen. You know, I have to get something off my chest that I feel like I've never said in all these years of Contessa being on the show. I hate her kitchen island. I've always hated her kitchen island with that big swoop in it. I don't know why. It drives me nuts every single year. I'm like, please fix that kitchen island. I know.
Kristen
It's like you're more of a standard rectangle kind of a guy.
Ben Mandelker
I want a standard rectangle. And she has that big swoop. I just can't stand it. I don't know why. And when I saw her sitting at that swoop, I was like, I've had it. I have to say something. I cannot live like this any longer. People need to know how I feel about her kitchen island. I do not like it.
Kristen
Yeah. Contessa was doing that whole thing with Scott where, you know, they're like, our marriage sucks for a couple years, and then they just got so, I think, bogged down in that. And now they're just like, we have the happiest marriage of anybody on Bravo. I know. Which I don't know that I really buy, but I prefer the fakery to whatever that was because I didn't like that. I did not like it. I think Contessa is perfect in the role that she's playing today, where she's kind of the commentator, she commentates on everybody else's thing, and she's kind of the voice of reason. That's how I like my Contessa. Like, those are the doses of Contessa I like on this show.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. But to be fair, I don't know any marriage that could survive that sort of kitchen island. I mean, it's like, you're not gonna. You're just not gonna survive it. And also, let's never forget his little. Remember what I used to hate on his. On his movie room, how he had the. He had the little, like, slate that said, like, Scott's movie. Yes, I hated that.
Kristen
Yeah, he had a slate. Didn't he have, like, popcorn cutouts, too? Like a real movie theater? He had, like, a cutout of Nicole Kidman. Like, thank you for being at the movies.
Ben Mandelker
We come to the movies to watch YouTube videos of heavenly calling out the ladies. Yeah. So, yeah. So she's.
Kristen
Then we go over to Ms. Quad, and she's like, my party last night was epic, baby. Honey. I love seeing Quad back. I love her. So she's like, classic of the doll, Miss Quad style. Classic of the doll, Miss Quad style. We need to just collect all the Quad lines from over the years. Ms. Jill, the D has a baby.
Ben Mandelker
I think they should bring Jill back. She was. She was a special kind of crazy. So she's like, 44, has never looked as good on anyone else, honey. And Quad is there with King, and he's like, I'm making a little bit more of that truth serum from last night. He kind of talks like. Like, Craig, if you think about it. He sort of has that, like, nasal mumble. And she's like, oh, you're making a mocktail. He's like, yeah, mocktails. Got you feeling nice, right? I'm always nice. I'm around you. That's because I feel nice, King.
Kristen
And so then she grabs this wiener, and he's like, what are you doing? Oh, wait a minute now. I thought I felt something. So she's talking about how since New York, everything, the reunion, I mean, everything's been going really well, and they're very happy, and they're not living together yet, and they do not have a solution. Although Quad does have another try to solution for these ladies always hating on her. She's tried this before, and she's going to try it again. And that is her own group of girlfriends that she will film with so nobody can ever try and leave her out of scenes. And that's what she's doing today. She's having a pool party with all her girls.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. But this time the new group of friends is actually on the show as opposed to having a rival show on. I forgot what network that was on that Sister Circle was on.
Kristen
Sister Circle, right.
Ben Mandelker
She was on that. Sister Circle was that TV show she was on. She was a co host, which was great. But then they all got jealous of her. And she also was kind of like, oh, I'm. I'm now on. I'm a co host of a show, so I don't need to, like, show up to marriage medicine. And they had a whole. Ish. They actually filmed many. And they actually flashback many times the big fight. They had the big sister circle fight that they had from a few years ago, which was nice to remember that. So anyway, now we have angel, and angel is the nurse, right? She's like the hot nurse. I think she's the hot nurse, right?
Kristen
Yeah. And so Quad says Angel's her good friend. They've been friends for many years. Yes, honey. And she's beautiful, and she's smart, and she's degreed up. Baby's got about 3 degrees, and she's a very successful nurse. A true hustler. And Quad is here for all of it.
Ben Mandelker
All of it.
Kristen
All of it.
Ben Mandelker
Yes. And Angel's like, hey, so who showed up? Quad. Who showed up to the party? She's like, well, all the girls came. She goes, well. And King's like, except for. Well, except for Simone and Cecil. They didn't even come to my party that I only invited them to two hours before.
Kristen
So then we go over to Simone and Jackie, who were doing their, you know, customary. Or their whatever, their customary lunch. Except today it's not on the little park bench outside the office today. It's in some kind of cafeteria. I was like, this show's budget is amazing. This year, they bought the budget.
Ben Mandelker
I did not appreciate watching them have lunch not at a outdoor table that had, like, a great top that food falls through and lands on your knees because that. We all have been there, right? You know, where you think you're. You think you're the. You're safe because your legs are under the table, but you're at an outdoor picnic table that's actually a graded surface. And I hate that ketchup all over your knees.
Kristen
Yeah. So annoying. Yeah, they're. They just got sick of paying people to wipe off the table, so they just made them all greats.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. They're like, okay, fine. So we're gonna go into a cafeteria. So Jackie is like. Simone's like, where have you been? And Jack is like, well, I've been doing mostly meetings today. How's your day been? Well, you look adorable. Okay, well, I've been on calls tonight because guess. Whoa, hold on one second. I've got a phone call. So she's doing like doctor, doctor talk on the phone. And Jackie keeps trying to butt in with advice, which is funny.
Kristen
She's like, send a cmp, LDA uric acid just to make sure we are on top of the sisterhood. And Jackie's like, how many weeks? How many weeks are you? She's 31 weeks. Right. I got somebody being nosy. Another obgyn need to mind her business. Well, tell her she's a very smart friend. Tell her she sounds fat from here.
Ben Mandelker
She should work on that. What was the name of her this thing again? Why am I blanking on it?
Kristen
It's like, what was it? It's like, cool. Can't.
Ben Mandelker
It's like so, so fat. You can't show your face in public. Hold on.
Kristen
I have to look it up. Because we can't go with. Without knowing that Jackie. Dr. Jackie's weight loss program was called.
Ben Mandelker
Like put the fit. Putting the it and fit or something like that. Or the the new fit or the fit.
Kristen
Oh, okay.
Ben Mandelker
Fit is the new it is the new it. Look, we even made the A lose some weight. We turned the A into an I.
Kristen
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Kristen
Podcasts or listen early and ad free on Wondery plus. So now they talk about quad and Simone's like, well, when I left New York, I was very disappointed in my behavior, but playing the victim frustrates me so badly. And if you come over here, either you play nice or you probably shouldn't come to my playground.
Ben Mandelker
I think that was her way of saying, like, this is my show. Okay? Like, you act like it's not like. Like, you act like you moved on, like, you're more famous in the show, and then you come back when. Then you want to come grappling back. But, like, this is my show, so if you want to play in my show, like, you gotta, like, you know, you gotta play by the rules. So Jackie is like. She's basically like, well, Quad and Simone, either of them are willing to forget the past. The anger has become like concrete now and, you know, trying to crack concrete. I need a jackhammer. I could also squeeze a lemon to try to help, but probably need a jackhammer. Let's get a jackhammer in here.
Kristen
So meanwhile, Quad is telling her girls. She's like, here's the thing. Simone is still harboring some things when it comes to me. She pops up on YouTube channel and wonders who was gonna help pay off my house. She wonders who's gonna help me pay my mortgage in the house that I live in. It was just random.
Ben Mandelker
And then I was listening to the radio, and even Bono weighed in, asking, who's gonna ride your wild horses? I'm like, why are you so concerned about my wild horses, Bono?
Kristen
I just get sick of the up and down of the roller coaster to the point where especially me, I'm a Taurus. And once I'm done with it, I'm done with it. It's just like, I've never known you and King's like, so you're sick of it? Well, guess what? We're all sick of watching it.
Ben Mandelker
I was like, thank you, King. Thank you for finally speaking my mind.
Kristen
I also love that King watches Married to Medicine.
Ben Mandelker
I know. We're really bored of it if she's stuck in that space. That's just her. And King is like, man. So angel is like, well, I. Well, I would invite her to my birthday party either if she's bringing that type of energy. So I get it. I guess I understand. What I'm trying to say is, can I be on this TV show? I'll totally take up all your fights.
Kristen
So Quad's like, whoa, watch this. Here's a Kiki. I'm gonna give y' all this Kiki, because we have a Coop text. And everybody girls were texting me, and they said, happy birthday, Quad, which meant so much to me. And then Simone comes in and says, happy birthday to you, Quad. Hope you're having a fantastic day. And I was like, ooh, burn. So then we go to Simone's side, and Simone says, simone, it's good to hear from you. It's been a While a birthday gift from you is to help me pay off my mortgage.
Ben Mandelker
Now that's petty of Quad, but it could also be kind of like a. Okay, I heard what you said. I'm making a joke about. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm clocking that I heard what you said, but I'm also kind of making a joke about it. So like, someone could have just been like, hahaha, that's true, or whatever. But then Simone's like, did she really think that two hours before her birthday party that I'm going to get in my closet, try to find something to wear, put, put on a butt pad and come to her party? Hell to the now. Well, to be fair, yes. Two hour invitation. Yeah, that's bad, that's bad. I forgot about that part of the shade.
Kristen
Yeah. So quiet tells them that she invited Simone to the party and they're like, that was so nice of you, Quad, to do that. And the producer asked Jackie when she got the invite and she's like, that is a messy old question. I'm sworn by Hippa not to reveal anything that Quad tells me in secret. Two weeks before the party.
Ben Mandelker
Jack is like, did you think about the part where you said, who's going to help Quad pay for her mortgage? Remember when you said that? And Simone's like, I thought about that part, but when she was on an interview, it asked who she would choose in her group for the Traders, and she said, simone, how is it that you can mention my name and assume that I'm never gonna mention your name in a theoretical article about who would be cast on the Traitors?
Kristen
But also, doesn't everybody want to be cast on the Traders? It was kind of a compliment. I think that's like the big show everybody on Bravo is trying to get on. So.
Ben Mandelker
You know, it's also just so funny how they all track every stupid interview that, that all their cast members do. They are tracking everything. It's like, Simone, you should like, can't you spend your time down in your cecil sad basement bar having a cocktail instead? Like, come on, this is like too much.
Kristen
If you drag me, I'm gonna drag you. NASCAR should have hired me.
Ben Mandelker
And Jackie goes like, could have been better. Do you have any work? Can you do some prop work maybe with some pumpernickel bread? Okay, fine.
Kristen
I actually just did a jackhammer joke that went over very well, so I would suggest just redoing that one.
Ben Mandelker
Thank you. Okay. If you want me to do some pumpernickel prop work, I will do it. She doesn't realize that there's so much in this bag. And she holds up like a little baguette bag. She's like, there's so much in this bag that I could say about her that I heard about her. I witnessed with her that if she continues to with me, I could empty the bag on her. So shut the up. And then she pours out the bag and a little loaf of bumper nickel falls out. You know, Jackie was like more card bread. That's hard.
Kristen
The ultimate weapon carbs.
Ben Mandelker
That is not the new it. That's so funny when she just stuffed that.
Kristen
She's like, you wanna with me? It's like this little seeded bread drop.
Ben Mandelker
Sack a little side from like Panera or something. And they do a close up on it like dun dun dun. It's a seated pumpernickel loaf.
Kristen
So now Eugene is coming home and Toya's cleaning and he's like, don't I get a hug? I've been gone for five days. And she's like so she's like, okay everybody, the Harrisons have moved again. But Eugene loves the dual Harris Bowl. He loves it.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, I love the house and Toya did an excellent job. Yeah, well, people thought I was going to be renting forever, but no, no, no. The house is definitely a custom build. Everything is designed is. Everything's from the type of wood and the. And the staining and the design of the cabinets to the walls to the closet. It's like Jesus, when you walk in that room, it's beautiful. And then like, please don't blaspheme this house with Jesus. It's not blasphemy. What person has to walk to the room and not been like, oh and smile. That's what you do with Jesus, right? He's like, no, just oh my God. We're already starting off the season with.
Kristen
Me cringing and we see the closet and it is amazing. It has like a big. What do you call those cherry bl. Awesome tree in there.
Ben Mandelker
I don't like in the middle of the closet.
Kristen
I mean I don't.
Ben Mandelker
You know, maybe like a.
Kristen
An island. You know, I like that where you can like fold clothes on it and stuff like that. I don't know what you do with the tree, but it's very pretty.
Ben Mandelker
It's. It's a nice house. But it's sort of funny because then we see Toya in the kitchen and like right after she's talking about how beautiful and luxurious like the house is. We see her slam a cabinet close. She's like, bang. And, like, the way it just sort of like, bounces off, it's kind of like cheap cabinetry. And it's also like, you know, I kind of feel like if you're having, like, a fancy house, you have those doors that don't slam. They just sort of like, you can slam them, but they'll sort of slowly close. But she's just like, boom. And it just bounces back and forth. I was like, okay, well, it's another Toya house.
Kristen
Yeah. And our friend Lorianne calls Toya Toya. Toya Income Destroyer. Always moving and spending so much money. And I think that nickname is so funny, especially when we see that just like, Toria gets a new house every year, Eugene has new jobs every year. So now we find out. Yeah, exactly. Because Tori is spending that money. So Tori's like, how. How was work? Which one were you at? The one five hours away or the one two and a half hours away? And he's like, this wasn't so bad. It was just two and a half hours away. And she's like, avery, that trash needs to go wild. Put that bag inside that bag, and then you carry that bag now. Teach people how to do the trash because their daddy is five hours away now. What happened? He's like, I've run out of places to apply here. I have two jobs in other states. Okay, get off my ass.
Ben Mandelker
He's like, I'm doing this job because it earns me a lot more money. It's like. He's like, like, how do you think this house pays for itself? This poor guy has to now go remote to a distant location in Georgia just to be able to afford their lifestyle. So. So he's like, it's just, you know, I have to get a hotel room. It's like, yeah, it's like, he could have a whole other family if you wanted to do. Because he would have equal time with both. He's like, yeah, but I don't think I would make enough money to have two family. I couldn't do it.
Kristen
So he's like, okay, well, it's not like I'm an absentee father. I'm not on the west Coast. You know, I'm still in Georgia. I mean, it was two and a half hours. And she's like, you're here. You don't spend nights here. So you're gone for five days at a time. So, guys, do you feel a difference? And now that your dad is not really, you know, let Me teach you something early about women. We don't want you to answer before we finish the question.
Ben Mandelker
And while she's saying that, Eugene goes, I was about to say the same thing for her.
Kristen
So she's like, okay, do you see any difference now that your dad's gone? He's like, not really, no. They start laughing because just answers in the exact same tone.
Ben Mandelker
She's trying to paint a picture like the. The family's falling apart. The kids are, you know, they're sad, they're missing their dad. The kids are like, no, it's fine. We're happy.
Kristen
She's like, I feel like a military wife. Well, so do Eugene. Feels like he's in the military. He's got PTSD from being married to you.
Ben Mandelker
So many houses. Okay, so now we go over to contestant Scott, and Scott's like, hey. Oh, how's it going? How come you didn't let me know you were here? Hi, Cadessa, love of my life. We've never had any problems. She's like, well, I'm just trying to get this work done, you know, so it could be finished. So she is. She's like, oh, God, you live the life of Riley because he's watching a basketball game. She's like, I'm gonna get you 17 more jobs. I'm just gonna apply, like, as you. Okay. That's a lot. So they basically are working a lot because they bought a building and they are still renovating this building because this was like two seasons ago that they got the building, right? Like this was. It's been a moment since they got a whole medical ass facility and they're putting all this money into this building. And I'm just like, why did you guys buy a building? Why did you buy an unrenovated building? This was not smart.
Kristen
Yeah, she says they paid in cash, so they had to cash out everything. All their 401ks, IRAs, all the bonds. And then they went on below deck med and left, like the. Or below deck something. And left like the lowest tip of all time.
Ben Mandelker
Now we understand why.
Kristen
Yeah, exactly. Now we know why you skimped on that tip.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Kristen
So he brings her a package and he's like, someone just did a drop and dash. I thought you were ordering more artificial turf. We are killing it this season, aren't we, honey? But it's an invitation on turf, which is odd. I don't think we've seen that yet. We've seen a lot of odd invitations. I've not ever seen one on a sample home Depot turf.
Ben Mandelker
This was. This was weird. So the invitation is from the Sanders, and it's like you are invited to the Sanders Polo Classic. Join us for a day on the green where divots get stomped and the champagne's pristine. Pristine rhymes with green. See what we're doing there? Oh, we ran out of turf to write on. Just details on the back. So. So quad gets it. And I love that. Quad is like reading it. She reads it, she goes. Because it says, wear your finest and let's toast with a clink to the horses, polo, and friendships in the sink. She's like, okay, little Dr. Seuss. Okay, let's see this. Wow, this is nice. So she calls up Mimi and she's like. So I see that people were down to Home Depot.
Kristen
Wow.
Ben Mandelker
They got a nice. They did a nasty do it yourself project.
Kristen
Like it's a grass wall, okay? She says, well, it's not on the wall. I found it on the ground in my porch. It looks like Astroturf to me. And so she says that her relationship with Mimi has changed and they love hanging out and they'll stay out till 4 or 5 in the morning.
Ben Mandelker
Wow. They have a crazy, crazy girlfriends moment. So Mimi's like. She's like, you know, there's Dr. Mimi and then there's Mimi. It's like Mimi after dark. Okay. There's also daytime Mimi. There's also like afternoon Mimi. Also Mimi. When you're in Sweden, you have Fika, and that's Fika Mimi. She's crazy. She loves a coffee. Anyway, not all the ladies have seen that. But a little espresso martini, which rhymes with Mimi. Oh my God, I'm crazy. A little twerk and we're gonna have a good time. Steve and I, we just love to host parties and we just love a theme. But, you know, we. We haven't, you know, since we've been down in Atlanta, we've not had a chance to do that because we're just trying to. We're just trying to make it nice on tv. And now that we're actually full fledged cast members, party time. Sanders extravaganza.
Kristen
So she's like, okay, we don't need to all have conversations. Let's just have a good time at this party. And she's like, we don't need conversations. I don't think, like, what type of conversations would we need? What are you talking about? She's like, have you talked to Simone? Please don't pretend you don't know what I mean when you're gonna fight With Simone at this party?
Ben Mandelker
No, I have not spoken to her, but, like, you know, I just don't know what it is with Simone and me. It's just always something. I've apologized, I've been accountable. What else can I do? Anything else from this point is just straight ass kissing, and I've never been in that business. It just doesn't pay enough.
Kristen
And she's like, okay, so we don't kiss ass and we don't get in someone's face. We're gonna keep it moving, all right? She's like, correct. But we will. So now we go to the Sanders Polo Classic. And me, notably, I would just say.
Ben Mandelker
Notably, it's not at Apollo Grounds. It's just in a front lawn.
Kristen
Yeah, it's a polo theme.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I would have thought it was going to be a party at Apollo Polo Grounds.
Kristen
I.
Ben Mandelker
Because we've seen. We. I mean, even the ladies of Dubai went to the Polo Grounds. Although I guess that's not crazy because of Dubai. But I just feel like. I feel like if you're on a Real Housewives show and you're having a polo party, it should be at Polo. Like, at some sort of polo place, right?
Kristen
Well, people have Mad Hatter's tea parties, and they don't go down some damn rabbit hole.
Ben Mandelker
I would expect that, too.
Kristen
Take ass.
Ben Mandelker
Find a warren.
Kristen
You know, it's a theme.
Ben Mandelker
Find a warren, find a burrow.
Kristen
So they even got the horse statue from the Sunland Park Mall in El Paso, Texas. Just a big, white, hollow horse, and it has been around the world. It's all scuffed up, like, they didn't even touch it up with pain.
Ben Mandelker
It's all.
Kristen
This poor rental horse is just a mess.
Ben Mandelker
Oh, I know. They really could have. They need to apply some sort of, like, I don't know, some platter of Paris or something. Yeah.
Kristen
Little scraping up.
Ben Mandelker
What do you call it? Like, what do you call the stuff to fill in cracks on a kitchen island, you know?
Kristen
Yeah, even just. Even just spray it down.
Ben Mandelker
You know what I mean?
Kristen
You are a party rental place. I'm not paying for this. So they have this janky horse, and she's like, oh, yeah, you know, I love the horse statue. We. We had to sort of bring that vibe because, you know, it's a polo party. Mimi. Mimi Sanders. They know us in the east, so.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, they're gonna do this whole thing. They've got one of those walls where people hand you drinks through the walls, which I. You know, I appreciate the whimsy. It doesn't seem like I have a. It's not. Doesn't really match the polo theme, but, you know, sure.
Kristen
You know, just like polo, where you ask for drinks from a hole in the wall and then they come out. I would like to see my bartender's face. I would like to see if they've washed their hands. You know, they're taking their nose.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I like the way Toya did it later on the episode where she just basically put her head at the curtain and was like, what tequila you got back there? So. So Mimi's saying that the practice is booming and they're hiring new therapists and clinical directors and nurse practitioners. They're busy with their kids and all that. And Steve is. And she's like saying, but, you know, if you're going to work hard, you're going to play hard. And he's like, yeah, I mean, this is playing hard. This is where you come alive, Mimi. And she goes, yeah, because you've seen me after dark. Like, Mimi, this is twice now in like two minutes that you've been like, mimi after dark. I guarantee Mimi after dark is her nodding off while she's. While she's doing wordle on the sofa.
Kristen
Yeah, but her new thing, she's like, they called me boring last season, but this season it's Mimi after dark. Okay. And he's like, yeah, I guess we describe that as a little sophista ratchet. And they're like, ah, ha ha ha ha. So Simone and Cecil are getting ready for the party and trying to find a hat to match the dress, et cetera. And then Toya is joining them because she's going to get ready with Simone, and she's asking what they're doing with the backyard. They're getting a new deck. Thank you. And Simone's like, well, you haven't even been here for eight months. I guess you're just was kicking it with quad.
Ben Mandelker
Well, I was over here two months ago. She's. Well, I guess you're so busy kicking it with quads again, I'm just gonna keep on repeating that you're kicking it with quad.
Kristen
She was like, okay, well, Mimi after hours.
Ben Mandelker
Well, the fact that you haven't been kicking it with quad is beyond me. I mean, that was your friend. But from what I've been hearing, she hasn't been my friend in a long time. Haven't you been in this sisterhood?
Kristen
I know because you've been talking about her with people, talking about this girl with his ex wife. Come on now. And she's Like I made a joke.
Ben Mandelker
Okay, well, then talk to me about her. I'll keep it with me. Like, this is Toya. For a moment, it seems like Toya is. Is maturing.
Kristen
Yeah. This is always Toya in episode one. She's like, listen, you talk to me. We're friends. I'll keep it between us. You don't have to be messy. We're all friends here, guys. So she says, you know, Simone Quad's already mad about talking to Sweet Tea and bringing her around the group. Now you're talking about her finances too. And then we see a clip of her and Sweet Tea making some video, and Sweet Tea makes a comment about Quad not being able to pay her mortgage. And Simone's like, yeah, who is paying that mortgage?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah, I mean, Simone did, like, you know, we talked. We're talking a bit about girl code on Potomac, but Simone, I mean, really kind of like, welcoming Gregory into the. Back into the circle. That's a pretty. That's a pretty rough girl code violation right there.
Kristen
Like, all those girls we didn't talk about last season on this show, all those girls were terrible. Bringing Gregory and the. And the new wife back and then constantly trying to make Quad fight with her, even though she was like, I'm not gonna fight with her. I barely. I don't even know this girl. Good luck to you. And then they just catch. Kept on and kept on, and then it exploded. And. And Sweet Tea the whole time was like, I'm not gonna fight with these old ladies.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. Yeah.
Kristen
Why would I?
Ben Mandelker
I'm leaving. Yeah.
Kristen
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
So that's way worse than any article about the Traders in my mind. So Toya is like, I think that going forward that we don't want to lose anybody else in this group because we want to be better assistance towards each other. Right. Which is why I'm gonna go after Jackie right after this.
Kristen
Yeah, exactly. So Cecil. And Cecil's like, yeah, well, what happens if Jackie checks you? And then we see a Watch what happens live, where Toya is talking about Curtis being handsy and saying, well, you know, Curtis has had his hands on a couple of people in this cast. And then we see a clip of what she's talking about, where I think they were on a couple's clip, and Curtis grabs Toya and sits her down on his lap.
Ben Mandelker
Which always was not great.
Kristen
Weird. Yeah, it was always weird. Curtis is gross. Sorry. Gross. He's always been gross.
Ben Mandelker
Toys was clearly uncomfortable with that. And, you know, and it was a little. It was surprising. I don't I didn't remember this if it's already been on, but, like, I was. It's surprising to hear that Jackie has been like, no, you chose to sit down. Like, that's a. A pretty.
Kristen
That's pretty up of Jackie. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
And. And don't forget Jackie. I mean, I love Dr. Jackie, and I think she's, like, amazing, but she has had moments where she's not been great. I'll never forget everything that happened with Buffy. I thought Buffy was awesome. I loved Buffy. But Jackie was. Was pretty icy to Buffy and. And kind of crossed some lines with her.
Kristen
Yeah, totally. And. And her constant fat shaming of people is gross. She does it again in this episode. She pulls like a Heavenly. When Heavenly first came on, she does the same thing to this new girl that she did to. She's. She can be pretty gross, you know, she just does it in a very classy way. So I think she gets away with. With more. But yeah, she can. She can be just as nasty as everybody commercials.
Ben Mandelker
Here comes one right now.
Kristen
So Toria is like, well, I didn't make the question. I just answered the question in an honest way. And Jackie could have brought this situation to me that it bothered her, but instead she brought it up to the Fab Five. Okay, well, you brought it up on National T. So. Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I mean, that's. That's a pretty big thing to be like, yeah, he touches everyone in the group. It's like, oh, also, when she said she brought it to the Fab Five, I was like, where was Jackie on, like, Queer Eye? Jackie and Queer Eye. When.
Kristen
So it's the Beatles.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So Cecil's like, well, she wanted everybody to know that she was pissed at you. And she's like, yeah, she wanted everyone to know, and she wanted them to jump in. So now Toya starts to share these text messages. She's like, well, Jackie sends me a clip from the Andy Cohen show, which I thought was so funny. The Andy Cohen Show. And she's like. And she's saying, Toya is calling out Jackie. It says not cool. It's like, I. Jackie, would never say. Say it about your husband on a public forum. It's not my choice. It's not cool.
Kristen
Yeah. And so she's like, why is it in a group text? You know? And so she said, you know, my problem with Jackie began when she accused me of sitting in her husband's lap rap. And so she went on her rant, I went on my ramp, and nobody wanted that. And the quads did not. And the heavenlies did not. And Heavenly, who's been really nice because even I was nervous to touch on the fact. You know what? We've been reading on social media with her. Okay. So she's saying Heavenly. Yeah. I'm being nice because I'm not even bringing that stuff up, which she's bringing up on national TV the first second she gets a chance.
Ben Mandelker
She is. But even I don't know, like, she's not. Not. She's not diving head first the way normally she would. She was sort of like. Like, I think she was testing the waters to be like, are we gonna talk about this? Should we be shady about this? And basically Simone's like, nope, because she mentions this, that there's this arrest, and she's almost saying, like, this guy named Damon Jr. Who may or may not be related to Heavenly. We don't know.
Kristen
And.
Ben Mandelker
And she's also saying, like, you know, it's funny because I'm surprised that heavily didn't talk about Damon Jr on her YouTube because apparently her YouTube is only meant for. Really doesn't, like, are her frenemies. And that's us.
Kristen
Yeah. So, wait, what are. Who are all of Heavenly's kids?
Ben Mandelker
She's got aora and then she's got. I think there's two sons. Or is it three sons?
Kristen
She's got Allora and two sons. I don't remember the son's names, though, is the problem. Aurora is, like, the most famous one.
Ben Mandelker
The sons sort of, like, sort of drifting in and out of the show. There was one season where they were a little bit more present than ever before, but they are. They pretty much.
Kristen
But wasn't Damon Jr. The one that was working with Heavenly and he was, like, interning with her to become a dental hygienist or something?
Ben Mandelker
I think so. I don't really remember.
Kristen
Okay.
Ben Mandelker
Generally don't pay much attention to. Unfortunately.
Kristen
Okay.
Ben Mandelker
On any of these shows.
Kristen
So. Yeah. I guess it's just the way she said it because some guy named Damon Jr. Was arrested might be related to Heavenly. So I guess that's what. What confused me so she just didn't.
Ben Mandelker
Know it was that I think she was giving some wiggly room to be like. Like, if we want to lie about this, we can say it's a different Damon Jr. You know, she's kind of like, oh, okay. I feel like she's kind of saying, like, it looks like it, but I'm not gonna. I won't go too hard right now. Let's. Oh.
Kristen
Because when she first said it I was like, oh, is this back to the rumor that daddy has other children or whatever? Like, daddy got someone knocked up a long time or whatever? I don't know. This has been 12 years of this show. It's like, there's so much that's gone on in this show. So, okay, this is the Damon Jr. That we know.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. I think this is toys version of Delicate. It's like a Toya delicate.
Kristen
Sorry. Basically a ballerina.
Ben Mandelker
So she's like, that's why she should clear it up because. So the first person I called was Simone, and I said, simone, figure it out. So Simone's like, yeah, it's true. And Simone is saying. She's like, she can only imagine how frustrated and heartbroken Heavenly and Damon are. And she says, there's a target on black men in America. And there's no nice way to put it. And she's basically like, we are raised. She basically tells Toya, look, we're raising black boys in America. We can't with it. We can't touch it. She's like, don't. We're not making this a storyline we're not going to make. We're not going to give this error.
Kristen
We're.
Ben Mandelker
We're not doing this right now.
Kristen
Yeah. So Cecil's like, yeah, you told Simone when you got here that you guys were going to try and do a better job with sisterhood. So don't be tit for tat with Heavenly, okay? Just because she's been a jerk, let her be wrong. Let her be. And she goes, let her be what? Just let her be. Like, let her be what? Because let her bring it out if she wants to.
Ben Mandelker
And she goes.
Kristen
And Simone's like, but if she never does. And he goes, okay, then you guys do it. If she doesn't do it, you got. You know what? I'm just going to stand here and drink my fucking tequila. I don't know why I'm talking to you. I'm just going to hear sit here and slowly descend into my path of alcoholism that we've been watching for the past 12 years.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. So now we. It's. We go over to Steve and Mimi's Polo Classic, and Jack and Curtis show up, then contestants. Scott. Steve is wearing. I don't know if he's actually emerged yet, but he's wearing this. He's wearing a very bright yellow suit, but he's also in. He's also wearing this crazy fedora that has, like this Louis Vuitton sash around it. It looks. He looks crazy. He Looks crazy. Crazy. This is not what you should wear to polo. This is not what you should wear to, like, anywhere. Like froyo. Froyo. Polo. Where you're going, it looks wild.
Kristen
Listen, I love a man exploring fashion. There's no reason men shouldn't be able to as well. But good lord, dora, you're on the wrong road.
Ben Mandelker
I know. I like steve. He seems like a really nice guy, and he seems so happy that he's, like, wearing his. His louis. And they. They call it out later that he always got to wear his louis. But, like. Like, sir, try to coordinate a little bit.
Kristen
So now contestant mimi are gossiping about, you know, simone and, you know, the party and simone being invited last minute and contest is like, yeah. I mean, listen, but if you invite somebody the same day, you really don't want them there. I mean, duh. So then toya arrives, and brandy and her guy shamar, who's. Who's not dressed at all. Like, we go from the guy in all Louie, like, doing too much to this guy who's just like, I'm just gonna wear jeans.
Ben Mandelker
Yeah. And everyone's saying hi and hello and everything. And brandon shamar. They meet the group, and toya's saying she loves. She's like, yeah. Randy is like a boss. She's a girl boss. She has a medical spa. Yeah. And so we see that. She's like, that's what she does. She's like, hey, you know, does botox and stuff like that. That. And then toya's like, where's the other half? And jack is like, who? Heavenly. Oh, I thought you were looking for curtis. No, you can't miss curtis because he's super tall and his hand is usually under your butt. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? High five.
Kristen
Well, we got a text from heavenly saying she couldn't make it. And she didn't really add, but I know she's about to run for vice president of the united states of america, so she's starting her campaign early.
Ben Mandelker
Actually, isn't heavenly running for some sort of local office?
Kristen
Yeah, like mayor or something.
Ben Mandelker
Think that's probably why she's also stepped away from this, you know, because she knew she'd probably be messy and be like, you're mama. And they're like, okay, can't do that if you're running for mayor.
Kristen
Yeah, general. She's in the general election for u. S. House Georgia district 13, November 3, 2026. Get your voting ready, people. Get your votes ready to go.
Ben Mandelker
I would love to see heavenly in Congress. She would mama Ing everyone. She would be hilarious.
Kristen
She would be so good. We need a new entertaining congressperson. Come on, man. I want to move to Georgia just so I can vote.
Ben Mandelker
I know. Oh, I just wanted a yo mama. The right people. Of course. I'm hoping that we're politically. I actually don't know if we're politically aligned. Heavenly sometimes hughes a bit conservative. So I don't know if we're politically aligned, but if we are, I'm all for it, baby.
Kristen
Yeah. Even if not at this point, I don't even even care. Just entertain me because it's. It's so depressing. Like, it's so depressing. I just want to laugh, you know? I know. So Tori is like, well, I don't think Jackie's telling the truth right now. She can't possibly be. Because the only thing that I think keeping heavily away from this group is Damon. And that would be the only reason her son. Because she hasn't missed a group function in over 12 years. Which is crazy that Heavenly makes every single function I love.
Ben Mandelker
That is. That is pretty impressive. So Toya's like, well, the only person not coming is Heavenly. She said, heavenly told us it's none of our business. Cuz Jackie said, well, actually, Heavenly said it's not her business. So I didn't ask her. And Mimi's like, well, I asked her and she said, we'll talk about it. So I have to have respect for that and I will. I mean, you just, you know that. Let's look. If it had been after dark, Mimi who had called, or Mimi after dark, I should say, maybe I would have asked, but it was just regular Mimi, so I couldn't ask.
Kristen
That was the Mimi on the phone version that she was talking to. So that's what she got. Yeah. So Toya is like, well, is Curtis mad at me? He did speak. I mean, Jackie's like, maybe it's because Toya has said that he's touched several of us.
Ben Mandelker
Like, Toya. It's like, Toya, you go on TV and you say the guy has touched several of the people, like on the cast. And then you're like, oh, was he mad at me? I'm not.
Kristen
Yeah.
Ben Mandelker
It doesn't negate what Toya is saying or what her truth is, but it is funny that she's like, oh, well, why would he be mad?
Kristen
What's he mad about? And so Jackie's like, well, I was mad. And she says, why? Well, because it painted Curtis in a light that's not representative of who he is today. Tori goes, today?
Ben Mandelker
Jackie's like, yeah, you have to. You know, Jackie is so sick of having to film a toyo stupid ass us for 12 years. Jackie is this very like, smart, accomplished woman who has to sit here and deal with Toya every year. And you know, she's just like, you know, it wasn't that long ago that I was FaceTiming with the Vice President of the United States and now I'm having to talk with Toya.
Kristen
And so then Jackie's like, well, it was the several of us that got me okay. And she goes, well, but why would I do that? And she's like, we were already going through a situation, Toya. And so that's when Curtis was spotted with the mystery woman and we were about to divorce. And Tori's like, yeah, they were sleeping in separate beds. And Mimi's like, okay, so you were basically, you were going through a situation with your man. Okay, you guys are getting Mimi in the backyard now, so feel free to tell me anything.
Ben Mandelker
Backyard. Mimi Toy was like, well, I just would like you, I would like my friend to say, hey, friend, I'm sorry that I said you sat in my husband's lap. And Jack is like, no, I can't, I can't agree with that. So Jackie, you're wrong though.
Kristen
I mean, we see the clip again and it's clearly him grabbing her and pulling her into his lap. So stop it.
Ben Mandelker
It really is like, stop that. Like Toya, like Toya's right on this one. So she's like, jackie has lied to herself and say that I sat in her husband's lap. Maybe that's her way of dealing with the fact that her husband put his hands on yet another woman. So Jackie, if what happened, happened and you feel awkward, I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Kristen
Bad answer, Jackie. Bad, bad. I mean, Jackie, you've already said, like, your husband's a pig. He slept around with other people and I'm still going to give him a chance. So why can't you say my husband was a pig and he acted terribly with you. I'm really sorry. He's working on it or whatever. Like, why would you do this? Like, it's just idiotic. It doesn't make any sense. There's evidence on television, ma'. Am. And so Tori goes, are you trying to table the discussion? It's like, no. She's actually, I will say for Jackie's defense, she's actually standing there talking about it, which is kind of rare for Jackie because a Lot of times, Jackie will walk away and be like, I'm above this. I'm above it.
Ben Mandelker
Right? So anyway, angel arrives with Quad and King and smells like. Like, oh, look at Quad. She's making a grand entrance. Very beautiful. Let me mosey over there. I actually feel like Wad's just arriving, like anyone else is at the party, because they're all in costume. Or maybe not costume, but they're all in, like, thematic outfits for this polo. At this polo party that's not at a polo grounds.
Kristen
Well, she's not entering abnormally for Quad. I mean, that's just Quad. You know, she's just one of those people. She walks in, she's like, hello, baby. How you doing, baby? Like, it's just really quad, Jill. Ms. Daffodil has it, hon.
Ben Mandelker
So good.
Kristen
Yeah, so Simone, you know, also. Simone could just be less miserable for. I mean, she's just so. She starts off so negative. Like, let it simmer. You know what I mean?
Ben Mandelker
Yeah.
Kristen
Like, let it build up through the whole season. But.
Ben Mandelker
Or, like, yeah, if you want to win the fight. Right. Then, like, don't do that. Like, let Quad do that for you. Like, because Quad. Quad's a diva, and Simone is pressed at all times. And so.
Kristen
Well, Simone's like, I'm sorry.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, let. If. If Simone is chill, Quad will eventually do something. She'll show up extraordinarily to something. She'll. She'll piss off someone, and Simone will win. But when Simone's coming in hot, and Quad just, like, I'm fine. Like, hey, I know I moved on. Simone's the one that looks like the. In this situation.
Kristen
Well, she's also, like, a villain who's been foiled, you know, like, oh, that. That moose, you know, because she really tried it. She really tried it with Quad. She got Quad off the show. Then Quad returns to the show. Then she gets. And by the way, I know that she's not casting, I guess I should say, supports Dr. Gregory and Sweet Tea and does that whole thing and then tries to get quite off the show again. They kick her off the. That trip, that wine trip or whatever. She's constantly trying, and Quad keeps coming back happier and happier and apparently richer and richer because Quad's now in this huge house for the past couple of years. She's got this hot boyfriend for the past couple of years, and Simone's just losing. She keeps losing, and it's like, you need to just pull yourself together and move past it and try again and let it build Up. But don't just sit in the misery of losing. You look like a bad loser.
Ben Mandelker
Well, the other thing is that, like, Quad ultimately remains the fan favorite. She is ultimately the biggest star from the show, I believe. I think that Jackie. Jackie is maybe the most successful to come out of the show. But Quad, I think, is, like, the most quote, unquote, iconic of everyone. And, like, there have been times the past where Quad has driven me nuts because she does sometimes act like she's bigger than the show, and she does sort of. You do feel like she's not really throwing herself into the show the way others have. But I think that she's sort of moved past that. I think Quad is kind of like. Like, I feel like she's sort of not. I'm not going to say she's post diva, but it seems like she. She's like, this is like, I know what I've got to do to be on the show. I know my role. I know my responsibilities. And she's now, like, kind of like. She's, like, in it. I feel like, for the. Like, really in it. And so I understand the frustrations with Quad, but it's. It's time to move on. It's really time.
Kristen
Yeah. So Simone goes over there, and she's got a personal fan on her, and she's like, well, Quad, I'm hot. She goes, you're hot?
Ben Mandelker
Why are you hot, baby?
Kristen
And she's like, well, I am. I'm hot. I have a fan. But happy birthday, Quad. And she's like, well, thank you. So she tells us Simone will get real close, almost in kissing distance, but because we're not there right now, we're not gonna kiss. But best thing I can keep. Best thing I can hope is she keeps her cool. Because we all know Simone is a.
Ben Mandelker
Hothead kid, so they're still having stupid jokes. I know. So are you hot? Are you still hot? And so then she, like, puts a fan in her. Her face, and she goes, that's Beyonce air conditioning. Okay. And then Mimi's like, okay, everyone go play some chess. Because we play chess, figuratively, all the time. Sorry. That's Bobby Fisher, Mimi, for you guys, play some chess.
Kristen
You just got a little Queen's gambit. Mimi. So Toya is behind the drink curtain already. She's, like, sticking her head through the hole. She's like, excuse me. How am I supposed to know what's in my drink? Can I have some roses and some lime and I don't know, what's the tequila looking like? Give me some tequila. What tequila you got back there?
Ben Mandelker
So Randy, Brandy's saying hi. She's like, nice to meet everyone, everything. And Simone is like, brandy used to work at the north side. Do you realize that, Jackie? And she's saying that she worked in intervention radiology. And Jackson, he goes, is your thyroid enlarged? I don't know.
Kristen
Maybe. Like, oh, my God, Jackie, Jesus Christ. Goes, yeah, maybe she didn't know it. And Brandy goes. And she. Well, I just can't stop staring at it. She's like, okay, we're good.
Ben Mandelker
We're good. Thanks. We're like, yeah, Toya did say that sometimes Jackie will, you know, give a little subtle shade. I was like, I don't think that was subtle at all. That was thyroid shade. We haven't seen.
Kristen
Yeah. Jackie really is an about the stuff like that. Oh, my God. One thing I really hope, like, if there is such a thing as karma, I just hope somehow Jackie gets overweight. I don't know what would do it, but, like, if I was living close to Jackie and I had, like, the invisibility cloak, I would sneak in there and put an IV in her at night and just fill it with mayonnaise and just get Jackie chunky. Because I'm so sick of Jackie's fat shaming bullshit. I'm sick of it.
Ben Mandelker
So then Toya goes up to Simone. Simone, can I give you some advice? So me and Quad went years and years and years angry, and I don't want that to be you guys. And we see a. There's a montage in here that shows them fighting. You're for the whole. The whole show. Quad and Simone. Quad. I'm sorry. Quad and Quad and Toya. Quad and Toya. Their last Such fight was 2023. I'm like, you know, that was, like, 18 months ago. Like, you do not have enough, like, peace time under your belt to act like you have, like, suddenly moved on and are better with quad. I'm sorry. No, no. Toya, you cannot act like you have the hindsight here. In the wisdom, you guys will be fighting by the end of week three, I'm sure.
Kristen
Yeah. So she's like, well, we'll never get back to where it was. And then Quad is saying to her, to angel, she's like, well, I mean, I've done all that I can do, and if she wants to bridge the gap and have a real relationship, then I'll be all for that. So then now they're looking for Mimi, and Mimi's with her. Click. Simone says, and Tori is like, oh, B.B. you're with your click.
Ben Mandelker
I heard.
Kristen
She's like, my click? See, I told you. Listen, I don't have a click. I just have people that I like and people that I get along with and people that are great. And, you know, it's. It's. I don't know.
Ben Mandelker
Mimi. Mimi at the Mimi. This is. Well, it's not really after hours, Mimi. It's not really a morning, Mimi. This is just like, open. This is. This is. This is office hours, Mimi, where anyone can come in. Okay? This. No clicks here.
Kristen
So Simone goes, okay, because now all the ladies are gathered, and she's like, can I take an honest vote from every lady here? Show of hands. Who would have come to a birthday party by invitation two hours before?
Ben Mandelker
Oh, Simone, why are you bringing this up? It's like it wasn't even discussed, you know? So quiet. Well, I wouldn't know. But here's the thing. I hadn't heard from you in a while, and last time I heard anything, you were wondering how I was gonna pay my mortgage. You were quite concerned. Well, it was a joke. We drag each other in this sisterhood. We drag each other.
Kristen
Who's dragging? Where's the dragging? She goes, oh, so I'm the traitor? And quad goes, oh, yeah. Well, yeah.
Ben Mandelker
If one can drag, we all should be able to drag. She's like, I'm not mad. I'm ready for the drag right now, if you're interested. And Mimi's like, wait a second. Drag. Mimi is not here just yet. Can we wait five minutes? Okay, it's still afternoon.
Kristen
Mimi, please, not at the Sandra's Polo Classic.
Ben Mandelker
That was funny.
Kristen
Simone's like, cool me off first. Cool me off. I'm ready. And Jackie's like, girl, get over here. Get. Get back to your playground. Get on the playground.
Ben Mandelker
Stop this. So then now it's time for the guys to duck. So King is like, hey, Cecil, we missed you at the week. This week at the party. And Cecil's like, I know, but you know women. Am I right? They're fighting.
Kristen
Yeah, they're always fighting. I'm sick of this. And King goes, yeah, we're tired of hearing of it. It's just petty. He's like, yeah, and I get burned because she says, I'm taking up for quad. So then we go back to the ladies, and Simone's like, I do not like the way you called my name Toya. She goes, you guys, could you fix this? Because you're still angry and you're still hurt at those Two things. I quad. I am not angry. So she does her sisterhood thing where she goes right up to her and she's like, I don't know. I'm not angry. Listen, quiet. I had an angry outb first with you, and I think we were both angry. And I stayed in bed two days after that. I don't want to fight. I don't want to. And I feel like she needs the time and the space. Like, Simone has done an entire season of Simone in one episode, you know?
Ben Mandelker
I know. She really has. So Quad's like, okay, sure. Tori's like, well, how much time do you need? She's like, I am not on. On Toya's timetable. But it's actually. It ends seemingly on like a nice moment of like, look, we're both hurt. We just need some time. And then they show. They intercut this with them fighting for the rest of the season. So it looks like, yeah, nothing is healed. And it's. They're fighting again. And we see a preview for the season to come and they'll be fighting and then they're like. My favorite part was when they go, we're going to Jamaica. I'm like, oh, my God, you guys. I don't know. They go to different islands, but they act like, so surprised, like, oh, my God, we're going to Jamaica. Can we. Can we send them to. Can we send them somewhere else? Can we. Do we. What about Brazil?
Kristen
Not an island. You're like, please send them to a city for these. Can we please send them to a big city building for these husband and wife discussions?
Ben Mandelker
It's always the Caribbean. I mean, not that.
Kristen
Doesn't it show that we're. We're Cecil. Is it the. What do they call those? The husband and wife retreat things where Cecil's like, we don't like pretending that couples are perfect.
Ben Mandelker
It's like, oh, God, here we go again. Here we go again. Go sit in the sand and get into an argument.
Kristen
Yeah, Fun times.
Ben Mandelker
It was a really good episode. Thanks everyone for listening and being here. Be sure to join us for our live content later today. Start starts at 4:00 clock on the west coast and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.
Kristen
Our way is the Amber way.
Ben Mandelker
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly. Clap.
Kristen
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt we never miss her call It's Diane Call Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier Aaron McNicholas she don't.
Ben Mandelker
Miss no Tricholas Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.
Kristen
Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica.
Ben Mandelker
Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.
Kristen
Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy It's Maisie McHenry we love her on the rocks It's Melissa Cox Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.
Ben Mandelker
Berg this is Living with Michelle Vivian.
Kristen
I love love of your Olivia Williamson.
Ben Mandelker
She sure is swell It's Raquel yes.
Kristen
We canna It's Savannah Cast a spell.
Ben Mandelker
With Shannon Spellman let's share with Sharon.
Kristen
Eldridge Darn Skippy, it's Tippy and our Super Premium sponsors make way for A.J. lopez she's VVIP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin somebody.
Ben Mandelker
Get us 10cc's of Betsy MD we're.
Kristen
Taking the gold with Brenda Silva let's.
Ben Mandelker
Get real with Caitlin o' Neal Put.
Kristen
Us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Ben Mandelker
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran we got our wish It's Jen Plish she's not harsh She's Jill Hirsch My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo She's a.
Kristen
Total knockout It's Katie Manok we love.
Ben Mandelker
Him madly It's Kyle Pod Shadley in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock Gee, it's Lisa H We're ride or die for Lisa Rider Baron She's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi Always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible.
Kristen
Edible Matthews sisters She eats, seizes our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Maximum.
Ben Mandelker
Love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
Kristen
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out.
Ben Mandelker
Of a can and Anthony please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing We're.
Kristen
Obsessed all with Tessa V. You'll always.
Ben Mandelker
Get the full story with Tori Parsons.
Kristen
She ain't no shrinking violet.
Ben Mandelker
Coutar.
Kristen
We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.
Release Date: December 1, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Ben and Ronnie return to recap the Season 12 premiere of Married to Medicine, titled “I Got Friends in Polo Places.” The duo embraces the familiar beats of the show (the Simone and Quad feud, Toya’s new house, and more), but agree this premiere feels fresher thanks to new cast members and a genuinely eventful episode. The hosts dish on their BravoCon run-ins, the ongoing “sisterhood” drama, the ever-rotating Toya Home, the absence of Dr. Heavenly, and the ever-present mess behind the scenes.
| Segment Topic | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------| | BravoCon Encounters, Show Expectations | 03:58–06:59 | | Recap Structure, Show Rituals | 07:01–07:55 | | Newbies/Growing Cast Discussion | 07:55–09:43 | | Dr. Heavenly’s Absence | 09:43–11:14 | | Quad, Simone, Sisterhood Feud | 21:45–24:54 | | Toya’s New House, Eugene’s Work, Family | 27:44–32:30 | | The Sanders Polo Classic | 33:10–38:28 | | Party Antics, Group Gossip | 40:23–44:40 | | Toya vs. Jackie, Curtis Lapgate | 52:28–54:52 | | Group Interventions, Sisterhood Drama | 62:19–64:06 |
Ben (re: Quad and Simone’s feud):
“...it always starts with Simone and Quad being mad at each other, and it always ends with Simone and Cecil taking everyone to the Caribbean for unlicensed couples therapy.” [07:01]
Ronnie (on Toya):
“Toya Income Destroyer. Always moving and spending so much money.” [29:12]
King (on Quad & Simone’s feud):
“Well, guess what? We’re all sick of watching it.” [23:08]
Ben (on the cast’s energy): “The entire cast seemed as exhausted as I was between the Simone and Quad rivalry... and everyone just seems exhausted by it, which I thought was funny.” [08:36]
Ronnie (on the polo party’s horse statue):
“This poor rental horse is just a mess.” [36:43]
Ben (on Mimi’s “after dark” persona):
“Mimi after dark is her nodding off while doing wordle on the sofa.” [38:28]
Ronnie (on Jackie’s non-apology):
“Bad answer, Jackie. Bad, bad. I mean, Jackie, you’ve already said, like, your husband’s a pig, he acted terribly... why can’t you say my husband was a pig and he acted terribly with you?” [54:52]
True to the Watch What Crappens signature tone, the hosts balance affectionate mocking with genuine admiration. The commentary is rich in observational humor, rapid-fire banter, and Bravo in-jokes, but also highlights cast dynamics and recurring themes with insightful shade.
A strong, high-energy premiere that has Ben and Ronnie excited for what’s next—so long as the endless circle of “healing the sisterhood” delivers as many jaw-dropping lines and ridiculous parties as this first episode did.