#3095 Below Deck Med S10E10 Part 1: Who’s The Boss?

Summary

Watch What Crappens Ep. 3095 Summary

Below Deck Med S10E10 Part 1: Who’s The Boss?
Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam | December 2, 2025

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Main Theme / Episode Overview

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam deliver a riotous, point-by-point recap of Below Deck Mediterranean Season 10, Episode 10, riffing on the endless “be a boss” refrain from Captain Sandy, the drama and dysfunction among the crew, and memorable, cringe-worthy guest antics. The hosts weave their signature blend of Bravo snark, pop culture detours, and genuinely perceptive Bravo commentary, while celebrating (and eviscerating) the episode’s biggest personalities and boneheaded moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Be a Boss!” Mania – The Captain Sandy Playbook

• One persistent theme is Captain Sandy's relentless pseudo-motivational coaching to Nathan about “being a boss,” which becomes a punchline:
  • [06:35] Ronnie: “Captain Sandy's like, hey, listen, Nathan, guests can't drive the tender, okay?...Be a boss.”
  • [08:05] Ben: “I'm going to tell you this about 25 more times...Be a boss, okay? Pretend your first name's Hugo. Be a boss. Get to it.”
• The guys ridicule her fixation, comparing it to pop cultural “bosses”—from “Boss Baby” to Bowser in Super Mario Bros and even referencing the “Who's the Boss” sitcom.
• They note how Sandy’s management style borders on self-help cliché, joking about her probably reusing the same speech at conventions:
  • [13:26] Ronnie: “These are. This is a moment for my women empowerment speech that I last gave at a Marriott Marquis somewhere in Oklahoma. Be a boss.”
  • [10:02] Ben: “Be a bus. My favorite show on your ear is the wind. The wind is whispering to you: Be a boss.”

2. Tender-Riding Mayhem and Crew Screw-Ups

• The incident of Max letting guest Imran drive the tender sparks the episode’s cascading “be a boss” lecture.
• Nathan, under stress, laments the pressure to take charge, with the hosts mocking both Sandy's overkill and Nathan’s lack of spine.
• Ronnie delivers a mock fashion critique on Nathan's new haircut, comparing it to a problematic crew member from another Below Deck series.
• The hosts riff on the show’s “everyone is messing up” motif, urging that Nathan needs to be more “stern” and lay down the law with his crew.

3. Interior Crew Drama: Kathy vs. Kizzy vs. Aesha

• Kizzy is feeling undervalued and stuck below deck, which leads to a moan-heavy scene with Aesha:
  • [22:26] Ronnie mocks Kizzy’s craving for compliments and Aesha’s matter-of-fact, non-coddling response.
• They praise Aesha's open-faced “compliment sandwich” approach, which is all honesty with a touch of managerial grace.
  • [25:31] Ben: “A compliment sandwich is you say something nice... then you give a critique... But I like that Aesha does the open face where she gives a compliment, and then she's like, yeah, but you're terrible.”
• Kathy emerges as a potential future Chief Stew (“Boss Bitch”), with Ben and Ronnie rooting for her laser-eyed managerial style and willingness to directly confront guests and crew.
  • [41:22] Ben: “Kathy will...could be on the track to be a Below Deck franchise Chief Stew.”

4. Guest Antics: Imran & Friends, a.k.a. Yachting Nightmares

• Imran, the obnoxious primary charter guest, is lampooned for trying to pee off the side of the boat, making sexual innuendos, and his overall rowdy, lecherous behavior.
• Kathy's reactions to inappropriate guests are celebrated—she does not hide her disdain:
  • [35:11] Ronnie: “Kathy just looks at you straight to your face like, ‘You're a disgusting pig.’ Which I respect.”
• The hosts highlight the contrast between “Instagram vs. Reality” with charter guests and reminisce about past notorious guests like Dolores.

5. Romantic Subplots and Sob Stories

• V is processing the anniversary of her boyfriend’s death while embarking on a will-they-won’t-they flirtation with Joe, to Ronnie and Ben’s eye-rolling exasperation:
  • [37:01] Ben: “They’re trying to make this fling seem like it’s a Jane Austen novel and it’s not. It’s just two horny people on a boat.”
• Each crew member’s tragic backstory is parodied for its melodramatic, sometimes unrelated, or “Mad Libs” quality. Kathy’s “mom ran a taxi company” lore is zealously lampooned.
  • [29:16] Ronnie: “Well, my mom had a taxi company, so therefore, I'm quite the flirt now. So weird.”
  • [50:32] Ben (sarcastically): “That’s a backhanded sandwich… It was an open hand sandwich.”
• Max’s story of familial abandonment is treated with mock sympathy, but also skepticism.

6. Suckling Pig Awkwardness / Ethics Detour

• Both hosts abhor the whole roasted pig, sparking a tangent about vegan dystopian fiction (“Tender is the Flesh”) and animal activism themes in Wicked—calling out even the New York Times for failing to grasp the show’s social commentary.
• [32:58] Ronnie: “Yeah, I don’t know, it’s just gross when it’s like the whole animal.”
• Ben suggests watching Sweeney Todd instead if you want to process meat horror with musical flair.

7. Docking Drama and the Legendary Bow Thruster Failure

• The episode climaxes with a classic Below Deck docking emergency: high winds and a bow thruster malfunction.
  • [55:15] Ronnie: “And now it’s time for the docking. The wind meter is showing on screen and it’s 12 knots, guys. 12 knots. Uhoh. It’s 17 knots.”
  • [55:50] Ben: “Oh no. The bow thruster went out. I got no bow thrusters!...We’re gonna crash into the sailboat!”
• The hosts compare Captain Sandy’s button-mashing troubleshooting to refusing to fix a garage door opener until it’s absolutely dead.
• Ultimately, the crew are towed into the slip, with Ben and Ronnie playing up the melodrama and poking fun at the “real” (not-for-TV) crew's lack of athleticism.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sandy’s repetition ([08:05]):
  Ben: “Be a boss, okay? Pretend your first name's Hugo. Be a boss. Get to it.”
• On the compliment sandwich ([25:31]):
  Ben: “But I like that Aesha does the open face... she gives a compliment, and then she's like, yeah, but you're terrible.”
• On Kizzy’s meltdown ([22:29]):
  Aesha (as recapped by Ronnie): “Your teeth are frowning.”
• On Max’s backstory ([48:21]):
  Ben (as Max): “[paraphrased] Since I don’t have love for my parents, I take it all out in my relationships, so deep down on my subconscious, I like to create a family.” Ronnie: “It’s not your subconscious. You’re doing it.”
• On charter guests and social media ([39:12]):
  Ronnie (as Kathy): “This is what you call Instagram versus reality...”
• On docking disaster ([55:50]):
  Ben: “Oh no. The bow thruster went out. I got no bow thrusters!...We’re gonna crash into the sailboat! ... Just get the fenders out and save the sailboat.”
• On crew’s athleticism ([57:22]):
  Ronnie: “The real cast comes in to help... We know because they don’t work out like a real boat worker, because they don’t have any muscle tone. They’re just like, wow. They’ve always got a sandwich in one hand.”
• On guest Imran’s classlessness ([35:11]):
  Ronnie: “Kathy just looks at you straight to your face like, ‘You’re a disgusting pig.’ Which I respect.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:39] – Recap begins; immediately fixates on “Be a Boss”
• [05:55] – Nathan’s haircut and associated drama
• [07:05] – Sandy’s endless boss metaphors; blue ribbons, cows, Mario
• [09:33] – Kathy’s “Pleasure treasure” radio and early hints of her boss energy
• [13:26] – Captain Sandy's "woman empowerment" pseudo-speeches
• [14:30] – Suckling pig dinner preparations – animal rights tangent
• [22:26] – Kizzy’s insecurity and Aesha’s leadership (“open face compliment sandwich”)
• [27:08] – Imran’s dinner table sleaze; “guest” disasters mount
• [29:16] – Kathy’s “taxi mom” backstory lampooned
• [32:58] – Ronnie’s animal ethics rant and “Tender is the Flesh” book aside
• [35:11] – Kathy puts gross guests in their place—gets praised
• [41:22] – Ben roots for Kathy’s promotion to Chief Stew
• [50:32] – Max’s sad backstory discussed, but critiqued for TMI
• [52:26] – Docking stress rises, bow thruster fails
• [55:15] – Wind drama and operators’ running “wind” jokes
• [59:05] – Cliffhanger: Will the yacht hit the sailboat?!

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Overall Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie are in full-on parody mode, blending Bravo superfan insights with zany, character-driven impersonations. They lovingly roast Below Deck’s formula, send up reality TV editing, and shine when dissecting the “motivational management” style of Captain Sandy and the “tragic backstory Olympics.” Their affection for strong reality TV personalities (and thinly veiled disgust for gross guests) is palpable. If you like your Bravo recaps equal parts roast and roast beef (with extra boss sauce), this episode is for you.

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Want more?
Tune in for Part 2 for the docking aftermath, more Kizzy drama, and the fallout from “Boss Week” on the Med!

Transcript

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Learn [e-mail] or contact your travel advisor. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much happens? Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me Today this morning, O.J. it's Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

[A]

Well, hello, Ben. How are you?

[B]

I am. I'm just great because it's below deck med day.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Yes. First of all, thanks to Jeff Lewis and company for having me on their show today with the wonderful Julia Cunningham. Unfortunately, Ronnie could not be there because he's in Texas, but his spirit was felt and coincidentally we decided to match each other on Crap is on Demand. Today. We're both wearing shades of orange and brown for the fall.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And sort of like stripey too. So speaking of Crap is on demand, come watch us on Patreon patreon.com watch for crap ins and you can access their Crap is on demand. We can watch us and. But the videos do actually wind up eventually on YouTube. So go subscribe to our YouTube channel as well. We have bonus episodes on Patreon. I don't know what this week's is going to be. Maybe a chatty one. Who knows? I don't think there's any trailers coming out anytime soon.

[A]

Probably just some good old fashioned life updates. What are you.

[B]

Yeah, we can talk about Thanksgiving, what we made, what we cooked, what we did, what we shopped for, etc. Etc. All my Cyber Monday stuff has all arrived right before this. It's like still all wrapped up and I just want to tear into it. I think that's all the stuff that's like, worth mentioning.

[A]

It's all the news that's fit to print.

[B]

All the news that's fit to print. By the way, thank you to everyone who came to Crappy Hour last night. We had a really fun one. We were really gabbing away. So much so that we almost. We almost went over. That was super fun. And of course, every Monday we do. It's now every Monday. It's not every other. It's every single Monday. We're now doing our little Amazon Live show where we give our recommendations on things that you might want to get. So, yeah, that's that. That's that for that. I don't. I feel like there was something else I wanted to say. I wanted to express. I want Happy birthday to my dad. Happy birthday to my dad. It's his birthday today, so Happy birthday.

[A]

Wow. And happy almost birthday to you. There's two days left until the birthday of Benjamin Mandelker, everybody.

[B]

Two days left. Very, very exciting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm spending my birthday by going to see Allison Roman at the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles.

[A]

So. That's amazing.

[B]

That's like the perfect hero.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

I know. My hero. My personal hero. Yeah, that's basically it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, today is below deck. Med Season 10 Episode 10 Bowing out.

[B]

Who bows out bows out. Nobody bowed out, but it's because the Bow Thruster went out.

[A]

Girl, you can't call an episode bowing out and not fire somebody. That's a fine bowing out.

[B]

It could also be bowing out, okay, because, well, someone is like, don't bow at me. Okay? Like Leanne Lockin said one time, and.

[A]

Don'T go with me.

[B]

Don't bow at me. But that's. None of those things happen.

[A]

Okay, well, we start where we left off. It is mayhem on the yacht because Max has gotten in the tender with that horrible human being, Imran, and let Imran drive the tender. And then Captain Sandy saw it, and she's like, wait a minute. What the heck's going on in that tender? You get back on this vote. Hey, monk hair, get down there and tell that guy to get back here. Oh, by the way, someone tweeted at us that monk hair. Where's his name? Nathan. Nathan cut his hair, you guys. It's so cute. That is the biggest news I have to report from this week. He shaved his head. And, you know, sometimes that is the best thing a man can do. The man looks fine. He looks hot. Go ahead, argue. Argue.

[B]

Yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to. I like that he changed his haircut. I just. I. I don't love the one that he landed on. If anything, I feel like it makes him look a little bit like that guy Luke who was on Below Deck down under, who got drunk and tried to make a move on Margot. And so that makes me uncomfortable.

[A]

Try to rape.

[B]

But I just also.

[A]

You mean. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I. I just feel like that guy. Maybe he could bring it a little tighter on the sides. I don't. I think Nathan is so cute. I was actually, like, reflecting. I was like, he is so cute. And I just, like. I just feel like he's so close to having the right hair, even with the new revision, but it's still not quite there for me yet.

[A]

Well, I loved it, so. Good for you, Nathan. Thanks for all your hard work on your follicles. It really worked for me. So Captain Sandy's like, hey, listen, Nathan, guests can't drive the tender, okay? And she's like, this isn't a free for all. Get your fucking shit together on this deck. You understand? Okay? And he's just staring at her like. But I work so hard, and she's like, get Max back to the boat. So he calls Max back.

[B]

This isn't like Norma at Burlington Coat Factory. It's not a free for all, okay? Get back to the boat.

[A]

This isn't like Norma at a county fair. Not everyone gets a free ride, all right?

[B]

Get down.

[A]

Get that boat back in the slot.

[B]

What's the opposite of a blue ribbon?

[A]

Who wins the ribbon anyway? The cow or the owner? Not to take away any enormous joy, but.

[B]

Oh, I'll tell you who's gonna get a blue ribbon. Me. After I rib Norma a little bit more. Am I right? Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what you call a blue ribbon.

[A]

Hey, Nathan, you know what? You need to be a boss, okay? That can never happen again. You gotta ask, okay? And he goes, well, he took initiation to get him onto the tender, though. She's like, well, that's when you pause him because you're in charge, all right? You need to Darenda his ass. And after this, he can bring the slide out. And I'm pointing at you. You that. I'm going to point at you, and I'm going to emphatically point multiple times in this sentence. And I'm not going to really move my mouth a lot when I talk. I'm just going to show you my teeth. You got it?

[B]

Yeah. Be a boss. Okay? Be. I'm going to tell you this about 25 more times over the course of the next hour. Be a boss, okay? Pretend your first name's Hugo. Be a boss. Get to it.

[A]

Fuck's sake. I'm sick of this, bro. I'm getting sick from doing that. And Joe's like, you're doing fantastic, bro. And he's like, it's. It's. He's like, max, get to the boat. So Nathan's like, yeah. Then the. The captain's coming down on me so hard. You know, you're. You're that stupid to let the guests drive the tender. I feel you. You're fucking wanting me fired at this stage.

[B]

So he's like, max. But the guest can't drive the tender, ever. He's like, okay. It's like, no, you can't leave the boat without telling the captain either. Okay? But Captain Santi was mad. He's like, yeah, she came at me like this. She started pointing her finger and said, be a boss a lot. A lot of being the boss. She even said, who are you, Tony Danza? Who's the boss? I don't even know what that means.

[A]

Something about a cow not deserving blue ribbons. I'm not really sure, but don't take the Tinder.

[B]

Something about, hey, Angela. And I didn't know what that meant, but whatever. It's something to do with the boss. I don't know. Get back here.

[A]

Well, I understand what he's saying, but, you know, I don't know what I'm doing. It's far from the wheel, eh? Just breathe. Just breathe. He was barely touching the wheel, huh?

[B]

So Asia is telling the girls that the cabins are ready to be cleaned. And Kathy's like, pleasure treasure instead of copy, which, you know. So ca. That's so Kathy. Pleasure treasure.

[A]

That is so Kathy. To rewrite the rules. And have it work out in her favor. Nobody said anything. You know why? Because Kathy is a boss bitch. Okay?

[B]

She is the boss.

[A]

That's who Captain Sandy wants you to be. Would. Would Kathy be out there letting somebody else drive the tender? No. She would be Nate Ren. Naming that Tinder to pleasure Treasure. Be a Cathy.

[B]

So now Captain Sandy walks up to Nathan and guess what? She says, be a boss.

[A]

Be a boss.

[B]

Be a boss.

[A]

Be a bus. My favorite show on your ear is the wind. The wind is whispering to you. Be a boss. Do your food. Be a boss. Do your food.

[B]

You know, there's even babies out there that are bosses. Boss babies. Okay? Be like them.

[A]

Brading a lot at the box office. Okay? Guess what box baby wouldn't do? Be not a boss. Also, guess what he would wouldn't do? Wouldn't let somebody drive a tender. It's not supposed to. Because he's a boss.

[B]

Okay? You know who I root for in Super Mario Brothers? Bowser. Because he's a boss.

[A]

Have you seen the new preview for the Super Mario Brothers sequel?

[B]

Yes, because it was attached to Wicked. I assume it was attached to Wicked. I did definitely see that.

[A]

Yes, it was attached to Wicked. Yeah, they made Bowser a tiny little version of Bowser. I guess they turned him into a toy. No, I don't want them emasculating Bowser. Bowser.

[B]

Just because you're small doesn't mean you're less of a man.

[A]

Oh really? Then why was he walking backwards and going haha. Just sorry guys. Sorry guys. Didn't mean it.

[B]

Well, that's less of a man. That has to do with his trauma. That has nothing to do with him being a man. If you're small, you can still be a full man. He's a short king now. Okay? And now I never saw the first Super Mario Brothers movie, which I actually do want to see. But I. I do. I am curious how Bowser got to. To be like that. By the way, did your. Did your Wicked also have the message from Cynthia and Ariana before?

[A]

Yeah, I didn't like it. That was the worst part of the movie. What the was that? What was that?

[B]

We just want. We just want you to know that we are friends too. And after this movie, we hope you can be friends with someone.

[A]

Yeah, I hope everybody' here. We just want to thank you so much for coming on our journey with us. This has been so wicked. Bro, get the out of here. You're taking me out of this.

[B]

It has been the journey of a lifetime to have to go through so many presto with this little twit by my side. And I can't wait until I can finally go back to Lena and never talk to Ariana again.

[A]

I have a nail as large as this idiot. Please end this press tour.

[B]

She does have long nails.

[A]

Great movie, great film. Yeah, I cry.

[B]

You know, you know why? Because you know what? That wicked witch is the boss.

[A]

She's a boss. You know what?

[B]

She's a boss. She's a boss. Be a boss.

[A]

Be a bass. He's like, I come. I just can't see that far. You know, how am I supposed to tell him not to do it if I can't even see him out there? Well, you should know where he is and not be horse playing and sticking pinkies up your. Your best friend's bum over there, Joe.

[B]

Exactly. Because remember, he was inside when this happened. And Captain Sandy was like, hey, Nathan, you didn't come outside and do your job. And if you're going to do the job, you know what position you should be as someone at the job. I'm going to tell you right now, it's not entry level.

[A]

It's a boss. Be a boss. Be a boss. Don't be a Hugo, be a boss.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Pressure makes us better. Because when you apply that pressure and you have that expectation from a crew member, they step into it. Or, or they get a heroin addiction like Hannah. But you know what? It's a challenge for them and they see your belief in them. And when you have that belief in someone, they don't want to. They don't want to disappoint you or themselves. There's no love for the wicked.

[B]

There's no love for the non bosses.

[A]

I love when Captain Sandy gets on her like women empowerment. These are. This is a moment for my women empowerment speech that I last gave at a Marriott Marquis somewhere in Oklahoma. Be a boss.

[B]

Be a boss. Fest a boss. Coming soon.

[A]

Color soft only.

[B]

Captain Sandy looks at the. At the toys that she always demands. She's like, this is what Captain Sandy does. She's always like, okay, the moment this boat stops moving, you put out every single toy that's on this boat. It doesn't matter what size or shape. It's always in the water. And now she looks out and she goes, looks at it. She looks at some sad toy, she goes, that's pathetic, isn't it? What a magnetic toy.

[A]

God, I didn't even want to put it out. It's not pathetic. She goes, yeah, it's embarrassing. You know what? It's not ever going out again. Not ever. Like Max on the Tinder.

[B]

Hey, toy, be a boss, be a bass, Be a boss.

[A]

All right, so now we're getting ready for dinner. It's going to be family style. And included in this family style is someone who was robbed of their family. A daddy pig who has been slaughtered and splayed out in all of his whole pig glory. That's disgusting.

[B]

That was a baby pig. There's a piglet.

[A]

He was a fair. Babies can be fathers. Baby have babies having babies. Ever heard of it? Ever had sex at class?

[B]

God. Teen, teenage pig pregnancy is really. It's an issue. I'll tell you.

[A]

Pigs yourselves.

[B]

Guess what? That pig was not a boss. Definitely not a boss.

[A]

Well, I didn't like this. It was disgusting. And so he's got foil on his ears and tail. It was just very disgusting and gross and so. And he's not only doing that, he's also doing octopus and ham. More ham. More. Pig just killed the whole family. Why don't you. It was like grandma down there to go Grandma.

[B]

I mean, who's. Who's the alpha? Banal, right?

[A]

I listened to the stupid New York Times podcast, the Daily, because it was about Wicked. And I was like, in a mood, okay. Because I just seen Wicked. So I was like, oh, I wonder what they're saying about Wicked? And it was these three people basically bitching about Wicked, which. How dare you. Okay. And one of them was like, what's the Elphaba thing anyway? I mean, she's. Her whole storyline is like, rooting for animals. I don't get it. I don't get like the whole animal activism story, Sir. They were animals that talked and had rights like humans, and they were taken away. What are you confused about? How is the New York Times confused about. I know the plot of Wicked. It's a pretty simple plot. And he's like. And guess what? I don't understand the political. The political structure of Oz, Sir. You don't even understand the animals can speak.

[B]

That's fair. I. I do think it's kind of crazy to question why she's into the animals. Like, the animals were like intelligent creatures who were autonomous and then they were robbed of like, their rights and their voice. Like it's a pretty. Pretty obvious.

[A]

Pretty pretty on the nose, sir.

[B]

Pretty on the nose. Pretty pretty on the. Pretty on the. On the whiskered nose. But I do agree that the. The aut. Like how Oz functions as a city is a little strange. Like cuz it existed before Jeff Goldblum got there, right?

[A]

Well, he wasn't a leader. He was just like a, you know. I know, but, like, who was running Celebrity with. With a voice.

[B]

Also, I feel like Ms. Marable should have, like, put up a stronger fight. Like, I feel like she should have been like, this is mine now.

[A]

Yeah, Mrs. Marble was just, like, foiled. Oh, well, guess I'll go like, what the hell? You got nothing up your sleeves.

[B]

Yeah, you got. You're literally. Oh, you're literally a witch. You could make a tornado, but, like, when the wizard of Oz leaves in his balloon, you're just gonna stand there like, oh, well, that was fun while it lasted. I guess I'll have to watch Family Feud.

[A]

Why did we just spoil the end of Wicked? We're gonna get in trouble.

[B]

All I said. Well, I mean, everyone knows Ms. Marvel is going to get what's coming to her, right? I'm just saying I believe in her.

[A]

She's won an Oscar.

[B]

Listen, if she conjured up tornadoes like that all the time, she was so beautiful and graceful. I don't know why we're rooting against her.

[A]

Just keep spoiling away. Just keep on. You just keep throwing more vlogs on the spoil. Fire.

[B]

There's nothing spoiler that she makes a tornado.

[A]

Huh? I didn't know she did it. If I saw that movie, I'd have been like, when she gonna make the tornado? This movie is ruined.

[B]

To look forward to. Something to look forward to now.

[A]

Also, Dorothy's a skank. Okay, so Asia goes to talk to Josh about dinner. Okay, so we see this dead pig. I'm still not happy. And Josh the murderer is like, well, the guests want this really authentic Spanish experience. And, you know, he goes on his whole food thing, explaining food and blah, blah, blah. And he doesn't want to kill the pig, but he's trained himself to not look at the pig emotionally. And so he does it anyway. Well, you know what? You're just following orders, I suppose.

[B]

Deep.

[A]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[B]

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Glasgow who Left School at 15 and devised an idea.

[B]

A next level bra that remoulds the cleavage. An uplifting story which gives you a real boost. I hate myself. She moved from business to politics. And when Covid hit says she knows a great company to supply PPE and.

[A]

The company PPE MedPro made millions of.

[B]

Pounds of profit from the contract.

[A]

Oh, and a lot of the equipment was unusable.

[B]

Oh, a minor detail. And having said that she had nothing to do with that profit. Repeatedly, she then goes on national television and says that her and her children are actually in line to receive nearly 30 million pounds as a result of it.

[A]

To find out the full incredible story.

[B]

Follow British Scandal wherever you listen to.

[A]

Podcasts or listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus.

[B]

So now we go back to Nathan talking to Max and Joe, and Nathan is like, I was told to be a boss. Am I not being a boss? Yes, you are. You're very much a boss. Yes, yes. You're probably a boss. You're the boss. Yeah. The most boss thing you can do is be like, guys, am I a boss?

[A]

Guys, am I bossy enough? Like, I'm like. Like, I'm like, boss enough for you?

[B]

Hey. Hey, V, get over here. Okay, I had.

[A]

I want to show these jeans. Do these jeans make my butt look boss?

[B]

Just, guys, if I listen to Fergie sing bossy, does that make me a boss?

[A]

So Captain Sandy makes an old queen mate.

[B]

Very old queen bus. A bus. So Sandy is, like, heavy. Look at that pathetic float. Look at that. Look how stupid that float is. It's like, not even a boss. All these floats are bosses, but not that float. I mean, we're. We're never going to put that float out again. Ever, ever again. Look at it. The worst float of all time. Why is it even here? Get it out.

[A]

Was wind pulled off the air? What are you doing on the deck this much in one episode? Go back to your room.

[B]

How did you also never notice that toy before? It's like, it's your toy.

[A]

Yeah. So Nathan's like, well, I just want to know that my team is on the same wavelength. The people that I work with, you know, they're like, oh, you look like a boss. Or just such a boss. Such a big boss. And now Kizzy is talking to Josh in the galley for her daily dose of attention. And she's like, kathy's on morning. She still spends a lot more time outside than I do, but maybe that's a me thing. I don't know.

[B]

Kizzy, like, you literally have had, like, the entire season to, like, talk and schmooze with stupid people, stupid guests, and now you have, like, one, like, a day and a half of being downstairs, and you're having a mental breakdown. Like, I've had enough of you.

[A]

I Like Josh's answer. He goes, I don't know. I don't see. I'm always down here. It's like someone complaining. It's like someone in prison who only gets an hour in the yard complaining to somebody in solitary confinement.

[B]

I know.

[A]

This really sucks. I only got an hour to do aerobics today in the yard and, like, take in the sun. Like, look, I have, like. I have, like a farmer stand on my arm. So I. I've been a solitary confinement, something. What are you even doing down here?

[B]

But Asia's thing is to make it fair and you take turns. And I haven't spent any time with the guests because I've been in the cabins all this time. He's like, well, next, Charters, Kizzy's turn. Here she is, boys. Here she is, world. Okay, let's settle down. Go, go, go. Do the laundry.

[A]

So V and Joe have their little flirting scene, because that's why people watch. Below that, guys. It's to watch people, like, flirt and convince each other that they're in love when they never are. And so then we go back to the crew mess where Kizzy's folding towels, and Asia comes down and she's like, kissy tronics. You seem off again today.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Your teeth are frowning.

[B]

I just. I was used to being a right hand man, and now I feel like I'm useless because all I'm doing is laundry and crying down here. I mean, Kathy, she's a better stew than I am. Am I fishing for compliments? No, of course not. She's just so good, and I'm just so bad. I don't think you should say, she's a better stew than you are.

[A]

The rest of us say it enough. Darling, you don't have to go so hard on yourself.

[B]

Well, she just has more experience than I do. Oh, I'm sad.

[A]

Not sexually. There, there, there, there.

[B]

You know, this is literally do.

[A]

Go ahead me. Oh, thank you.

[B]

You're so kinder than me. This is literally what I was trying to avoid by making Kathy's second stew. And I wanted to create one big interior, happy family. And it's all falling apart, thanks to me.

[A]

I have to say, Asia's style is very, very good. As a leader, her leadership style is so good, she never backs down and she never really kisses their ass like she wants. Like, she didn't say, no, she's not a better stew than you. Are you kidding? You're fucking amazing, girl. You are so good. She just said, yeah, you shouldn't say that about yourself, you know, she never took it back. Or when she said last week, like.

[B]

Yeah, last week, you know, she did.

[A]

That whole thing, which was talking about me. And she's like, well, I would say it to your face, but you're also very pretty, and I like the bows that you put in your hair occasionally. In addition to being an awful, horrible person who screws over other women in favor of men.

[B]

All right, this is a good chalk. I believe her cold. Her cold read was like, oh, I absolutely love you, and I'm so happy you've come into my life, and you're an absolutely wonderful stew. And all those other things are true as well. It's so slick.

[A]

I love it. And so Kizzy. She's like, I'm gonna give Kizzy some love and concentrated attention. And she's pretend she's cradling a little baby. She's like, I kind of worry for the baby, to be honest.

[B]

I. I know Asia's really good, you know, have you heard of the compliment sandwich? Asia does the open face compliment sandwich. So a compliment sandwich is you say something nice to someone, and then you give a critique, and then you have say another compliment. So that way, like, the critique is palatable. Be like, I. You know, you are so wonderful. Everything you do is great. You know, you could be faster in laundry. But I think that, you know, you have such a great spirit, and, like, it's, like, a little more palatable. But I like that Asia does the open face where she gives a compliment, and then she's like, yeah, but you're. You're terrible.

[A]

Yeah, I do the carb free. I do the carb free compliment sandwich, where it's just criticism, and then I charge your ass gratuity at the end.

[B]

Maybe you add, like, a. No, you'll add, like, a compliment condiment.

[A]

I think I'll just be like, get a mint. On your way out there by the hostess stand.

[B]

I'd have. I just give. I just give, like, a compliment dinner roll. And then afterwards, people discover that the roll was made of meat all along.

[A]

Because they realized you put something they were allergic into the role. They're like, wait a minute.

[B]

He wasn't even here. He insulted me. I was like, well, I said the nice thing to your face, though.

[A]

All right, guys, Captain's on my ass. I'm bringing the professionalism, and the guests shouldn't drive tinders. It's unacceptable. Okay, I think they got that part. Nathan. I think the part that Nathan's not getting is the reason he was on the Tinder without you seeing is that you were around in the mess. That's what you're not seeing. It wasn't the actual thing. The thing happened because of the thing that you were doing. So they already know that they shouldn't be taking the 10 guests on tenders.

[B]

So he also would benefit, I think, from having like a little bit of a stern conversation with this crew. Be like, guys, I love you all, you're all my mates, but you're all messing up and I'm catching the heat for it and I'm the one that looks bad. You guys have to get it together, okay? I don't want to see this, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see this or that. You all look great, by the way. Compliment sandwich. But no, you're. You're the bed. Like, I kind of think it's. He needs to give some tough love now. The time has come.

[A]

Yeah. So now everybody's getting ready for dinner. We see Imran the in the mirror going, damn, I'm good looking. Which, listen, if you be your. Be your own hero. You know what I mean?

[B]

Your own boss. Yeah, Your own boss. So they go to dinner and, and Imran's talking to Kathy and he's like, you know, we give kudos for men and women in their 20s for being so positive and energetic. And it's, it's hard to find that within the 20 to 20 year olds, you know, But I, I know this because I did all of them. She's like, I. He's just. Go away.

[A]

Yeah, he's so gross. So Patricia, the comb, the co primary comes and Asia's like, oh my God.

[B]

Boobalicious.

[A]

Amazing. Love your rack.

[B]

And. And then Kathy Max is flirting with Kathy, you know, as usual, and she's like, I enjoy, I enjoy the flirt. I enjoyed the attention. It's not that deep really, but to me that's normal. And we are gonna have some very strange.

[A]

Here's some strange context backstory below deck. Backstory. Now, don't you wish they had the Instagram walls now so you could see Kathy's Instagram wall? Because I'll bet that I want her. I'm in a bikini, in a. In a taxi cab.

[B]

No, I don't want to see an Instagram wall. What I want to see is whoever is typing Kathy's backstory into Chat GPT because I'm telling you, all these backstories make no sense. So she's told she's here. She is explaining why she enjoys flirting and why? It's not that deep. She goes. She literally goes from. To me. That's normal. Like flirting. That's normal. My mom owned a taxi company when I was growing up. She was so busy, I was left alone quite a lot. We've never eaten dinner as at a table, as a family, but I don't think of it as sad. That's just really what made me quite an independent person. Sweet. What does that have to do with you being a flirt? Like, well, my mom. My mom had a taxi company, so therefore I'm quite the flirt now. So weird.

[A]

I guess you're used to picking people up. I mean, I don't know. What does that mean? I'm always fair. You know, I concentrate on face fair.

[B]

Can't kick me to the curb. Get it?

[A]

They show a picture of her, and she's a teenager, I guess, and she's in these huge braces. Like, I didn't know they made braces this big. I have to say, I've never seen someone look exactly the same when they're a teenager. Usually people look a little different. It's exactly her. But with braces. It's crazy. What a cute little face. My mom owned a taxi cab company when I was young. Teeth. It's like braces.

[B]

I mean, the backstories on Blow deck are getting crazier and crazier. I mean, we just barely getting over last week's confession from Joe that he was in real estate 10 years ago and got defrauded and then lived in his car and was so ashamed of it that he broke up with his girlfriend and hasn't been able to open his heart ever since. He got defrauded because someone stole the furniture in the place. He.

[A]

While eating entire loaves of bread while he's taking selfies. So she kisses Max good night. And then Asia asked Captain Sandy to help her run plates. I'll do it because I'm a team member. You know what? That's what bosses do. And then Kizzy is sent back down to cabins, and she's wearing a different outfit because she wanted to be included in dinner. But. Sorry, you're back in cabins, Cinderella.

[B]

So then the suckling pig comes to the table, so everyone's excited. And Josh introduces what. What the meal is. He's carving up the meat. And I did think of you, Ronnie. I was like, God, this is probably not. Ronnie probably hates this right now.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I can't be too. I'm just kidding. When I'm like, murderer. Because I Can't be too judgmental because I still eat fish and they're people too. But yeah, I don't know, it's just gross when it's like the whole animal. I actually started reading this book that a vegan suggested to me and it is called Tender is the Flesh. And it's about a world in which all the animals get diseases and so people start dying because they're eating animals. So they have to kill all the animals. So they kill all the animals and then people start. It becomes legal eat people. So they start breeding human beings just to eat. So there's like a class of humans that's just for food and then a class of humans that is breeding these animals. Okay. So you know, you can see the heavy handed lessons there. I'm sure without me going into it, I had to stop this book. Can I tell you, this is the most disgusting thing I ever read. The whole thing is just descriptions of people being chopped up and how they make the meat and it is too much. So I came out of there like, you know what? I'm gonna be less judgmental because it leads to books. Like. And then the full pig came on the screen and I was like, I'm gonna finish that book. I actually deleted it off my Kindle. I was like, I'm gonna read it again. I'm gonna see if any clowns get made into hamburgers.

[B]

Why don't you just watch Sweeney Todd and be done with it? You know, it's much, it's a much more palatable version to get to the same endpoint.

[A]

Yeah, maybe I will.

[B]

That sounds disgusting, but that's, that's provocative. That's.

[A]

It's disturbing as fuck. It's one of the most disturbing things. I mean, I've never deleted a book off my Kindle. I still have the Bible on there. Okay. You know how infuriating that thing is to me. But yeah, I had to take that off. I mean that, that was too much. But now I think I'm gonna get it after seeing this full pig. Okay, so Kizzy's cleaning and I don't know why I told you all that. Sorry. It's disturbing. And Josh carves up the pig. Disturbing. And Kathy sits down to help get sent down to help with cabins, etc. And Kizzy's just mad. She's down there going off, off, off. I wasted a dress.

[B]

She really needs to settle down. I've had enough out of her. And also like the sheets are disgusting. They're like moist and wet and oh, they're And Kizzy's like.

[A]

And stained with. What is it? Tanner? Like, what do you think is on there?

[B]

Or sweat? Or tanner. I don't know what it is, but, like, in case he, like, touches it, she's like, it's still wet. I can feel it. I was like, why are you touching it like that? I guess she has to. She has to pull it off. And so the other guests are like, they're just having a great time, and everyone is. Everyone's just having. They're just having a great dinner. They're just drunk. They're being loud and rowdy and just typically annoying. And now they're gonna get in their bathing suits, and they're gonna get in the hot tub, and everyone's cleaning, but Kissy's in her. In her bunk. She's checking her. Her phone. No text messages for Kizzy. Poor thing. What does she do? What does she do when she's not the star? She just has to sit there.

[A]

Yeah. So then we're in the hot tub, okay? So we've got a gross couple in there. And Imran comes up to them, and he's like, whoa, I'm gonna have a threesome with you guys. And the guy's like, jesus Christ. Yeah, I was gonna go in there, but never mind. So everyone else goes to bed, and now Imran is still with a couple who probably. They probably do all bang. I feel like that bald guy is a swinger for sure, don't you? He's like, yeah, my wife doesn't take her top off for much, but for this, she might take her top off for real. Hell, yeah. Kathy, get in here. Let's. Kathy. Kathy's like, no, no, thank you.

[B]

I'm off duty, if you know what I mean. Taxi reference. I guess you guys don't know.

[A]

This. My mother owned a taxi company. We're like, we know. Okay, we know.

[B]

I know. Which is. Relates everything to that. So there. Yeah. He's trying to, like. Imran's like, got it, Cathy, come on. She's like, no, thank you, please. She's just so over this.

[A]

They're all like, let's get naked together, Kathy. And the guy's like, we'll take off our trunks. And we see Imran's little butt. And she's like. Kathy just has the most disgusted look on her face. Like, Kathy does not have service face where everything's with a smile, you know, like, oh, isn't that nice for you? And then you turn around and you're like, disgusting pigs. Kathy just looks at you straight to your face like, you're a disgusting pig. Which I respect.

[B]

Yes. Because guess what? They are disgusting pigs.

[A]

Yeah. So then service. You fake it usually, but she doesn't. She's like, you're disgusting.

[B]

It's like she's got. She comes from the Hannah Ferrier tradition of I will glare at you and I'm not gonna hide my disgusts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So v, meanwhile, is FaceTiming her friend Christy, and V is like, I am literally so happy to hear from you. I mean, everyone, this crew is just like such a wonderful person. I hope it's not a trick. So then Chrissy's like, you crashing? She's like, a little bit. I'm afraid to let myself feel feelings. But it actually. It's nine days away from the, the one year anniversary of her boyfriend's passing, so she was getting apprehensive about that. And.

[A]

And then isn't that weird? Doesn't that mean goodbye or does it mean good? No, it means good voyage. Oh. I was thinking, because bon voyage means like, bye, have a good voyage, but I guess it means good. Yeah, I was gonna say God, who names her child bye? You know, prophetic. But it wasn't. It was. It was. It was by. I mean, it was, but then good.

[B]

Listen to what her, her friend says. So via saying, like, yeah, I think, like, I'm gonna feel guilty. It's like one year and like, I'm gonna feel guilty about that. And Christy goes, hey, he's the one who ruined your birthday. Hello.

[A]

That'S me. I'm your friend Christy. And she's like, yeah, that guy. And they laugh. She goes, yeah, that guy. So she's like, yeah, it's nine days until the one year anniversary of Bond's passing, which was on my birthday. And I just, I don't know, my feelings are so all over the place because Bond would want me to move on, but how can I? When Kathy's mom was a taxi driver when she was young. That's why I can't move on. It's like, wait a minute, you're just reusing these now, guys.

[B]

Yeah. The only way I can move on is if I can finally find a taxi, which is hard these days. She's like, I didn't expect to open up to Joe and, like, let him in this quickly, but now that we're getting more intimate, I feel for my heart that I need to talk to Joe about this. They're trying to make this, this fling seem like it's a Jane Austen novel and it's not. It's just two horny people on a boat together. And, like, I swear to God, if I have to hear Joe say one more time, like, I've never felt something like this before. This is new for me. I'm like, I don't. Do you want an award? Do you get an award for liking someone you don't like?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It gets a gold medal for not cheating on somebody that he's been dating for two days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, yes. I've never done this before.

[B]

I've never done this. I've never been like this before. Oh, grandpappy.

[A]

So now we go back up to the deck, and Kathy is still supervising these idiots in the hot tub. And Imran's like, hey, Kathy, can I pee off the boat? I do it on my own yacht. Yeah. She's like, you have an absolutely gorgeous bathroom in your cabin to use. He's like, no, it's three floors down. Also, I could ding on my wiener for you, Kathy. Yeah, you can see a rich person's wiener.

[B]

Yeah, see, I don't want to see your penis because, you know, my mother did have a taxi company growing up, so, you know, you understand. He's like, actually, I don't know what you're getting at. Well, you wouldn't understand if you don't have taxi in your blood.

[A]

It's like, I'll just stand here. My penis will go. I won't drip. Kathy, come on, let me piss up the thing. And she's like, listen, I have a very checkered past, all right? My friends and family are always super jealous that I get to travel the world on these luxury yachts. And look what I deal with. Wrinkly penis, Imran. Dangling it's ding, ding off the side of a boat to make a little pee pee.

[B]

Do you know how difficult it is for me? My friends are so jealous. They say, oh, you get to travel the world, but you can't just travel when in your mind you're just thinking about how big the fair is going to be all day long. I just think, $5, $6, $7, $8. It's torture, I tell you. Torture.

[A]

He's like, well, Candy, it's the captain. Sandy, kick me off a D. She's like, well, I don't think she would appreciate it. So she's like, this is what you call Instagram versus reality. We see reality Imran, and then we see the Instagram, and it's that lady from Real Housewives of Potomac. Angel. It's looking 20.

[B]

Kathy's like Instagram was the name of my mother's taxi company. You say if do you need grandma in an instant. And then she'd show up in a yellow cab.

[A]

So he's like, yeah, there's too many rules. I'm gonna pee downstairs. Because that would make me so, so happy. Thank you so much.

[B]

So by the way, if you pee off the side of your own yacht, then why aren't you on your own yacht? That's what I've got to ask.

[A]

Exactly. That's the thing. Then why are you, why are you on some discount TV yacht?

[B]

Yeah, there's a TV yacht. We all know this is like not true. Five star yachting, right? You know it's gonna be shitty.

[A]

Remember when there was that horrible lady who got kicked off the boat that time and she was like, yeah, I got a yacht, I got my own yacht. That's right, I'm a boat person. And then we found out she was just one of those people who lived on like a little tugboat or something.

[B]

So was that Dolores? That was Dolores.

[A]

Dolores, yeah.

[B]

Not. She was not that Democrats lady. So Imran and Michael are wandering around the boat and they're in their robes, they're drunk, they're like knocking on their friend's door and everything. And Kathy's sort of like monitoring. And now they're in their hallway, the guest hallway. And then Michael just, just drops his glass cuz he's drunk and it shatters on the floor and they're all barefoot and Kathy is like, you've got to be kidding me. So she kind of just tells them both like, okay, time for you to go into your rooms. And Joe, Joe starts to clean up. And I like when Kathy looks at Joe, she goes, I'm a raccoon, I look cute, but if it comes out again, I do bite.

[A]

And I like how she talked to them cuz she was like, all right, all right, both of you go to your rooms. You go to that room? Do you go to that room? Have a nice sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. It's like, yes, Kathy.

[B]

Yeah, I love that. Kathy's great. I think I feel like Kathy will could be on the track to be a below deck franchise first dude. Like I think that she could be, she could kind of graduate to that level because she seems like she's really good at her job. A chief student. She like a chiefs too. Sorry. Yeah, Chiefs too. And like she's good at her job. She has just enough like.

[A]

Sort of.

[B]

Judginess in her eyes to Sort of like really do the role. And that's. And that's it. There's no third thing. She's just. She's good.

[A]

I'm gonna need some more one liners.

[B]

Yeah, but I thought the recording thing was sort of. I enjoyed the. Yeah, I get it. But I think she's on the track. She's on the track.

[A]

I need more scathingly. I need more scathing one liners in the diary room, I think. So we. Now it's. But, you know. Hey, hey. She's just starting. You know what? Give her a chance. Give her a chance, I say. So it's the next morning at 6:30am My LISP is getting worse lately. What do you think that is? Is my tongue getting bigger? Am I getting gay? Happens.

[B]

What does it need? Invisalign? Maybe you're too, like, moving your teeth may. May be moving slightly out of position and you may need Invisalign to sort of get them.

[A]

Is that what it is? My teeth are moving? So my lisp is worse.

[B]

Yeah, because your teeth are in a different position.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Your tongue is not hitting where it needs to be. You're.

[A]

I thought I was as.

[B]

Bilabials are not coming out as well as they should.

[A]

Like, if I was in heaven and I was putting together a menu of who I wanted to be, and I was like, I want to be the gayest I can possibly be, I would be. I'm that gay. Like, how can I be any gayer? And then I get more of a lisp. And now I have a whistle lisp where I like some of the words I whistle with my tongue. I go, I can't even do it now, but you'll hear it. I mean, what the hell?

[B]

Tops. That would be very gay.

[A]

That's true. Well, maybe I could be gay. Thanks, Ben. Here comes one right now. Okay, so now it's the morning, and Kizzy is talking to Josh and telling him she hears voices. I hear voices too. They're yours and they're annoying.

[B]

Yeah. And she's setting the table and everything. And Nathan is like, oh, that's a good sight. Yeah. Bent over the table. She's like, hey, shut up, Nathan. No. And now V is getting the jet Ski on the hook and everything. Everyone's getting ready, and Captain Sandy is like, oh, my God, I love sweeps week. Wind is out of control. God, there's so much wind this week. Oh, guest star Wind with guest star of gusts.

[A]

Oh, I love a crossover 22 knots landing. God, I love this show. Good Cross.

[B]

Ever since Taylor Sheridan took over, winds has been so good.

[A]

Wind now has giant trucks in it. Everybody. Every piece of wind. Gigantic truck.

[B]

Oh, once they got Billy Bob Thorne in wind, oh, it's really been very compelling.

[A]

So now Nathan is telling Max, no around today. Just do your job, all right? He's like, okay. So then Captain Sandy calls Nathan to the bow. We're gonna start hauling the anchor. So Asia is reading Kathy's notes from the night before. She's got, like, 10 sticky notes out, and one of hers is, like, went to bed at 3am after chasing Mike and Imran around the boat, cleaning shattered glass. Might sleep an extra hour. Feel rough. Don't question me, Kathy.

[B]

Now, wait a second. There's three more notes here. The first note says chocolate. The second one says chocolate. And the third one says chocolate. What does that mean?

[A]

I'm leaving these on sticky notes. Unfortunately, I can't find a sticky man. Am I right?

[B]

So everyone's cleaning and everything. And Asia tells Kizita to set the table. And she's like, by the way, Kizzy, you look absolutely wonderful for Trollop. Look, look, I love you so much. You're doing such a great job. You're the star of the inside area where no one can see you.

[A]

She starts, like, humping her. She's like, yeah, you're doing so good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then Nathan goes to see Captain Sandy, and she's like, hey, when we dock, we're gonna have wind. Ding, ding, ding. So it's important that you're precise, okay? Because yesterday was a tough day for you guys, all right? I need you to be more of a boss. Be a boss. Bring that professionalism for me. Here's my finger in your face. You see it? I see it. It's right up me nose. All right. Be a boss.

[B]

Listen, listen, if they're gonna cast Joan Allen on wind, then you have to be a boss because everyone's upping their game around here, okay?

[A]

So now Joe and V, more flirting. They're like, oh, my God. I've never met anybody like you. I've never met anybody like. Yeah, like, so crazy. Like, my boyfriend died. Yeah. Well, how do you feel about it? I hope that you're fine with me sticking your. My wiener in your feelings. Oh, yeah, I'm ready for it. Yeah. Don't be afraid of my feelings. I'm totally ready.

[B]

This. I've never felt like this ever before. So Asia is now talking to Mike, and she's like, hey, I heard you would not last night. And Then this lady is like, yeah, his nickname is Crazy Mike for a reason. He has mental illness, unfortunately. So we're just trying to. We're just trying to make him comfortable.

[A]

His nickname was Crazy Mike. Wow. What a fascinating person. You know, if your name. If your nickname is something that basic, you are just a boring ass human being. Crazy mind electronics.

[B]

Yeah, like what? He sells stereos down in, like, 8th Avenue. Crazy Mike.

[A]

Crazy Mike. We do your oil changes for $5 off every Wednesday.

[B]

We are crazy. Max brings some stuff to Kathy's cabin, and he's like. And she's like, no, thank you. Oh, well, I'm a voice. I'm. When I'm serious with a girl, they become family to me because when I was younger, my mother cheated on my father. And after my father cheated my mother, and then they divorced and my mother left, and then my father kicked me out of my house. And so I did feel like a little bit of a madman. And, like, all the love, I told her parents, and I put them in a relationship and, like, the Dharma subconscious, like, I just want to create new family because I have all this love, and I never had the love before. That's very nice, Max, but did either of your cheating parents own a taxi company? Don't think so. Sorry. Not as compelling as me.

[A]

Yeah, his whole thing is sad, you know? Like, his parents cheated on each other, they hated each other, so they divorced, and I guess he got dumped by both of them. Like, it's one of those things where the parents don't really fight for the kid. They're just like, you take him. No, you take him. No, you take him. And then nobody took him, I guess, is what happened, which is sad, you know, and that's. But he's like, you know, since I don't have love for my parents, I take it all out in my relationship. So deep down on my subconscious, I like to create a family. It's not your subconscious. Like, you're. You're doing. You know, you're doing it.

[B]

Yeah. You know, it sounds. Sounds healthy. What could go wrong? I'm just mad as parents are like, do you want idiot son? He just put. Touched. He just tried to pet a jellyfish again. Like, no. Why would I want our jellyfish betting son? You take him. No, but you're the one who taught him about jellyfish. Yeah, but you're the one who told him the pet thing. No, I did not. Okay. Neither of us take him. Leave him in the park. It's France. It'll be whimsical.

[A]

Truly. I mean, because you watch this show and, you know, you hear a story like this and it's really heartbreaking because he seems like a sweet guy. But then you're like, well, I've watched Max on two seasons now. What are you leaving out of this story? Because part of me is one. Did you set the house on fire because you left the stove on? Did you let, you know, some stranger borrow your mom's car and just drive it out into the middle of nowhere? What did you do?

[B]

He was probably bouncing off those walls nonstop. He was probably a very, very active child. I mean, it also, like, his behavior kind of makes sense when he tells that story because he does sort of seem like he's kind of paused in like a 14 year old adolescence, you know, 13 or 14 year old sort of state of mind. And he's like, he does, like, require a lot of attention. You want so much. And he. It probably does come from the fact that his parents have basically skittleton to the side, which is sad. But also. Yeah, he's a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm team parent.

[A]

We're like, this is so sad. But also I get it. Okay, so Max brings up kissing her.

[B]

And she's like, sandwich. You know, he's so nice. I totally get why his parents abandoned him, but you know what? Look at his work ethic. Yeah, exactly. It's a.

[A]

That's a backhanded sandwich. It was an open hand sandwich.

[B]

No, no, it is actually true. It's sad, but I get it. But not compare. But unless you have a taxi involved. I'm sorry. Seriously.

[A]

I know. If you want feel. If you want me to feel for things, get a taxi cab in your family.

[B]

Like, I'm sorry. We have a defrauded realtor pass, we have clown commune pass, and we have taxi cab confessions pass. So like, like parental trauma, that's just like so run of the mill. That's like the crazy mic of backstories. Sorry.

[A]

I don't know. I just feel like if you have somebody that knows their parents don't like them, then you have somebody that's actually been paying attention. Because I think a lot of us just don't really pay attention to what our parents are really thinking. Thankfully, my mom will just say it out loud. There's no wondering on my end. She likes me some of the time. And some of the time she's like, no. So there's no wondering, you know? Well, anyway, point is not about me. Max is trying to kiss this girl again. He's all over. He's way too much. He is way too much. And the thing I think that's bothering me is that he's way too much. And he knows he's too much. But then he excuses being too much by being too much and being like, oh, my God, am I too much? I'm too much. I know I'm too much. Come here. Give me kiss you. Take off your clothes. I take off my clothes. I love you so much. Would you like to get married? You want to get married? Oh, I'm too much. I'm too much. It's because of my mommy. Get your hands off me, sir. I'm trying to get ready for work.

[B]

Yeah, I think, like, putting all this energy onto a British stew who likes to scowl. It's just. It may not work out. It may not work out.

[A]

I don't think it's like a fly trying to date a fly swatter, you know? It's just not gonna work out. You just know what's coming. And I'm rooting for the swatter.

[B]

I'm always rooting for the swatter. Who doesn't root for the swatter? Let's call it.

[A]

So now it's time for breakfast. The deck team is getting ready for docking. Nathan's putting on fenders. Captain Sandy comes up behind him, and she's like, nathan, hi, it's me. Your boss yet? Okay, still not a boss. All right, put them low, because if I'm next to that silver. Crunch. Crunchy, crunchy. All right. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Because remember last time how when you asked me to put out the fenders, I said, what are we, a walking garbage barge? And by walking, I mean sailing. Oh, God. Because we walk on water a little bit. It's a religious experience. And then this time, I'm like, no, get him out. Get him out right now. He's like, okay, that's what I'll do. So then they're in the. And the. We're in the galley, and Asia's talking to Kathy, and Josh is there, and Asia's like, how bad were they last night? She's like, they were bad. Almost as bad as Max, but somehow more charming. I don't know. I'm tired.

[A]

One of the guests asked Mike, so you guys were really in the hot tub naked? He's like, yeah, we both were. Crazy Mike. So now Kizzy is pulling off a sheet that's covered with the Tanner or the brown stuff, whatever. And Kathy's just kind of watching her because he's about to barf. And Kathy's just like, you can do it. I believe in you. I won't help you, but I'm sure you can do this.

[B]

All right, lads, we're gonna be docking. It's gonna be a challenge. A boss challenge. That's what I've been told. It's extremely windy.

[A]

Oh, my God, it's on TV again. I thought it wasn't until tomorrow night. Oh, geez. I'm running back to the tv. I'll be right there.

[B]

Oh, my God. Is that David Strathairon?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

All star casting for street sweeps week.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

We're gonna have the same setup in the stern. Me and Joe and V. And once he's done, he'll come up and let's bring it back. Get the focus in, get the game faces on. Be a. Forget bass. Be a boss without them. Can't have multiple bosses. What, are you trying to give your job away? All right. Be an employee. Well, that wasn't very inspiring, Nathan. Or I've got.

[B]

I can't do anything right on this. Yeah, Consultant. Be a. Be a. Be a. Be someone. Be someone who's on. On a contra.

[A]

A brief.

[B]

A brief contract. Good enough.

[A]

So back at breakfast, Imran's like, oh, Kathy's gonna be a great mother Asia, the way she yelled at us last night. Yes, Scott, I'll just whip my dick out right there. Started peeing.

[B]

She like, I'm so pleased. And then Kizzy is cleaning or whatever, and Kathy's like, so, are you in a good mood? Do we have to pander to your little tantrum for being indoors while I'm up there getting a penis ripped out my face? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I'm sad. Kathy's like, so over this. She's like this twit down here.

[A]

And now it's time for the docking. The wind meter is showing on screen and it's 12 knots, guys. 12 knots. Uhoh. It's 17 knots. It is 17. Well, according to Sandy, the. The screen says 12 knots. And Sandy's like, it's 17 knots. 17 knots, guys. 27Y.

[B]

Oh, my God. And they just cast Maria Bello too. Wow. It's just an all star cast. Wind is out of control this week.

[A]

And everyone outside's like, oh, my God, it's so windy. It's so windy. God, the wind is blowing, isn't it? It's 22 knots. It's 22 knots. And that's are nothing. The knots are not.

[B]

Oh, no. The bow thruster went out I got no bow thrusters. Oh, my God. If I take a bow, more like, where's the bow? I can't do it. What's happening? We're gonna crash. We're gonna crash into sailboat or the fenders out. God, I don't care if we look like a garbage vessel. Just get the fenders out and save the sailboat.

[A]

Oh, jeez. It's not working. This darn boat's not working. And I like that. Captain Sandy. Captain Sandy fixes things the way I do. She's like, oh, my God, the button's not working. Press it. The button's not working. Press it. The button's not working. Press it. The button's not working. That's exactly how I fix things. And, you know, shockingly, it somehow works sometimes.

[B]

Sometimes? Well, like, my parking. I'm. I'm playing chicken with my garage door opener at the moment because it needs a new battery, and it's at that point we have to hit it, like, 10 times before it finally, like, connects. Okay, I will send a signal, but I'm like, I refuse to bring it inside to replace the battery, even though I have the battery, little circle battery that goes in it. And I'm like, no, no, I'm not bringing it inside. I'm getting every last ounce of juice in this garage door. But you know the moment that, like, I lose that game of chicken, I'm gonna be like, the garage door is not opening.

[A]

This is so annoying.

[B]

I have to park the car on the street and have to come inside and come back out. It'll be actually 10 times worse. But I. I like. I refuse to do it. But that's kind of the same thing. Just pressing the button.

[A]

Pressing it would have been nice to get some warning.

[B]

And then she's like, ben, Ben, get over here, cuz. I guess the first mate's name is Ben. I was like, okay, I'll be right there. I'm so obedient. I'm like, walking through the tv. I'm like, I will help you, Captain Sandy.

[A]

Yeah. And so the real cast comes in to help, which I like. I like when the real. The real cast has had to come out a few times recently. We've seen them and we know because they don't work out like, you know, like a real boat worker, because they don't have any muscle tone. They're just like, wow. They've always got a sandwich in one hand. Like, what's not working? The button. It's the button.

[B]

They always look like they should be like, you know, talking outside of a deli somewhere. Yeah, it's not working. The bow. The bow.

[A]

They're like playing dice outside of a deli. I gotta go have that Sandy again.

[B]

It's like the Sopranos. It's like when they hang out outside that meat shop, you know, like, okay, guess we gotta go fix the bow thruster, huh?

[A]

Yeah. So we come back, still no thruster. And so someone comes to help her. And then the phone. The guests don't know they're on their phones. Like, whatever. It's amazing. Like, I can't even park into, like, a regular parking space. And she's parking into this. And meanwhile, Captain Sandy's like, where can he hit that sailboat? Oh, God.

[B]

So ultimately, I think what happens is that. Is that they have to throw the ropes to the dock, to the workers on the dock in a specific way. And basically they just get pulled in. They just get towed into the spot.

[A]

They get towed in. They have to do it at kind of an angle. Like they throw the. The. Instead of the center pole, they have to send. They have to do it to one over the left or whatever. So it pulls them a little bit differently. Captain's like, wow. The deck needs to pull those lines in a certain place, and we. We need to use the windlasses to pull the boat over. Okay. Wow. One little wrong move could end our charter season. Milliseconds matter. So hold on. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. The button's broken. The button's broken. The button's broken.

[B]

Hold on one second. It looks like we're about to crash in that. In that sail button. Our season's about to be. It's about to end. So near.

[A]

Far.

[B]

Wherever you are. I sorry. I always sing that right before we sink. Oh, oh, we docked. Oh, great.

[A]

Great.

[B]

That's wonderful. Okay, so everything's okay.

[A]

All right. Take a rest, Celine Dion. Okay. You live another day. Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one. Of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

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