#3099 Vanderpump Rules S12E1 Part 1: A Whole New SUR-ld

Summary

Watch What Crappens — Episode #3099: “Vanderpump Rules S12E1 Part 1: A Whole New SUR-ld”

Date: December 4, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dive into the Season 12 premiere of Vanderpump Rules, lovingly (and hilariously) dissecting the fresh faces who now staff SUR, the shifting dynamics of West Hollywood post-pandemic, and the broader reboot vibes of the show. Their blend of nostalgia, cynicism, and hope for this “whole new SUR-ld” makes for a quintessential Crappens recap.

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Key Discussion Points

1. First Impressions: Does the New Cast Have Mojo? (04:13–10:27)

• Ronnie: Felt hopeful after the trailer, but notes the restaurant itself looks “so dirty and it looks old… if you’re going to reboot, really reboot the restaurant too.” Calls Lisa’s “limping” (literally and figuratively) symbolic of current SUR.
• Ben: Admits to being “a little bored at first,” feeling the sizzle reel vibe but enjoyed the throwback to struggling, “beautiful idiots” trying to make it in LA.
• Quote:

  “My favorite part was how poor they all are. You got back to what, like, struggling actors… it’s like, innumerable.” — Ben (05:18)

2. The Old vs. The New — Will They Repeat the Cycle? (07:25–09:28)

• Ronnie: Jokes about the new male cast being “whorish” and loving the “two OnlyFans cousins who are probably fudgeing.”
• Recalling predictions from their trailer recap: everyone's looking to match the originals, but some surprises; the “new” must get time to become themselves.
• Discussion about old cast's post-show complaints, suggesting “it’s nice to see the cycle begin to repeat again.”

3. Authenticity or Imitation? (09:28–12:59)

• Fears of contestants trying to be “the next Stassi” or “the next Jax.”

• Natalie is already a lightning rod: too on, maybe “fake,” but Ronnie likes that about her.

• Ben: Liked Demi—the staff's anchor; appreciates her unimpressed, lived-in energy.

• Spotting analogies: Natalie has “Kristen energy”—fiery and volatile, with a dash of “Sheena” because of her singing and “desperation.”

• Comparing Kim and Marcus to early Kristen/Tom dynamics—“endless toxic fights.”

• Quote:

  “My favorite was Demi. The staff matter because she looks so over it. She’s been there for eight years… now all their lives are imploding, and she’s like, oh, here we go again. A new cast of idiots…” — Ben (09:28)

4. Cast Rundown & Character Archetypes (12:59–18:24)

• Mixed reactions to newcomers:

  • Kim: "Bad actor," rehearsed confessionals.
  • Marcus: “Rami Malek/’Freddie Mercury’” lookalike, “not the cool nice guy we expected,” more of a rebel.
  • Venus: “Gay with the stringy hair... Love your, like, thrift glam, but you need some Caristas.”

• General agreement: The show's charm was always in the rawness & mess—let’s let this group settle before judging.

• Quote:

  “Remember when we first recapped the first episode of Vanderpump Rules 18,000 years ago? I hated that show. I wanted it to die… then as it grew on me, it became my favorite show.” — Ronnie (12:59)

5. The “SUR-vice” and Restaurant Realities (18:24–26:49)

• Ben & Ronnie lampoon the idea that anyone goes to SUR for the food.

• Recap of Venus and Natalie’s banter behind the bar, mouthy self-promotion:

  • Natalie: “I’m definitely the best bartender, and I’m the fastest and the most creative, and I look cute. Am I right?” (23:27)

• Ronnie calls out SUR’s “staff infection” as the only vibrant thing besides the neon.

• Jokes abound about poor service, watered-down bottles, and the infamous goat cheese balls—now apparently dry, tiny, and overpriced.

• Quote:

  “The only thing vibrant is the staph infection at this restaurant, and we all know it.” — Ronnie (17:58)

6. Horndogs and Dreamers: New Guys and LA Delusions (26:49–34:28)

• Chris: Jersey guy, calls himself a “lady killer,” at SUR to “network and create more opportunities,” apparently because he looks like Robert De Niro.
• General delight at the continued delusion of staff thinking working at SUR is an industry “in.”
• Marcus and Venus sneak sangria shots; Demi, now assistant manager, is exasperated by “idiots.”
• Classic Vanderpump energy: staff are demonstrably more invested in drama than in restaurant work.

7. Shaky Relationships & Thruple Energy (38:12–40:25)

• Kim & Marcus: Constant fights (mirroring early Kristen/Sandoval toxicity).
• Venus jokes that people think the three are a throuple because Marcus “will show me his dick on a picture on his phone in front of Kim, and Kim will be like, ‘that’s totally normal.’” (40:07)
• “This feels like real, hot mess Los Angeles,” per Ben.

8. Main Plotline: Natalie’s Meltdown & Reckoning with Lisa (41:03–48:53)

• Lisa confronts Natalie after she caused a drunken scene with ex (and co-worker) Paolo, who is 54.

• Hilarious mock-reconstruction of Lisa’s managerial “sternness,” full of signature LVP shtick (soft focus, magic tricks gone awry).

• Natalie tries to justify her outburst: “Mercury was in retrograde... my ex and I had no sex life... maybe if I was getting laid, I’d be a happier person.” (43:16)

• Lisa “warns” her, but the stakes are low. (“Just know your job is in peril at some point in the distance.” — Lisa, 47:37)

• Memorable Exchange:

  Lisa: "If you say that you are a bird that has been broken, we can fix this..." (46:54)

9. The Bro Comes to SUR: Enter Shane Davis (49:32–54:39)

• Shane Davis, all-American, “always-in-a-Jeep” jock type, arrives at the bar with another girl (even after telling Natalie he wouldn’t).
• Marcus and others are agog at the beefcake energy and dismayed for Natalie.
• Shane’s bro-lingo, macho posturing, and machinations set the tone for the kind of testosterone-fueled drama we might expect.
• Shane: “Guess what, America? I’m more addicted to a hot succubus woman than I am drugs. I’m up.” (52:11)
• Natalie, mortified by Shane’s move, pouts: “He’s gonna wish later when we all go out that he didn’t bring this girl, because I thought we were vibing. Like, who does that?” (53:29)
• Discussion of West Hollywood nightlife, the Belmont bar, and the cast’s pitiful tips split.

10. Closing: Hope for the Future and Nostalgic Skepticism (55:07–56:39)

• Reflections on the dying LA bar/restaurant scene post-pandemic. Ronnie jokes about returning to LA “right when the town is imploding...Enjoy yourself.”
• Hopes and fears for the season: Will old magic return? Will the new cast step into their own, or forever chase ghosts of seasons one to five?
• Ronnie:

  “If the Belmont closes, you could probably blame Schwartzy and Sandy’s...” (55:32)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ronnie on the new men:

  “I’m really into the whorish men. Like, I love that they just got straight up Horus this time for the men. Like, we’ve got two only fan cousins who are probably fudgeing, like, let’s admit it...” (06:56)

• Ben on authenticity:

  “My favorite part was how poor they all are...You go to Starbucks and you hear guys talking about acting classes or, like, how they got this gig.” (05:18)

• Regarding the restaurant itself:

  “It just looks so dirty and it looks old. I mean, I think if you’re going to reboot, you really need to reboot the restaurant too.” — Ronnie (04:20) “The only thing vibrant is the staph infection at this restaurant, and we all know it.” — Ronnie (17:58)

• On Lisa’s warnings:

  “Just know your job is in peril at Some point in the distance.” — Lisa (as parodied by Ronnie, 47:37)

• Venus on high school:

  “Working at sir is probably the best job I’ve ever had. And I’ve had, like, 36 jobs. It kind of reminds me of high school because I’m just, like, running around, like, talking with my friends all the whole time, and, like, everyone’s, like, hot...” — Venus (18:24)

• Natalie’s justification memo:

  “Why is everyone making me have to be so crazy? Because I’m actually going through something. And by the way, Mercury has been in retrograde this entire time. And by the way, my ex and I had no sex life. You’re dating a 56 year old, girl. Like, what are you expecting?” — Natalie (43:16)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• First impressions of new season: 04:13–10:27
• Cast comparisons and the generational cycle: 07:25–09:28
• Spotlighting key staff personalities: 12:59–18:24
• Venus, Natalie, Chris—behind the bar: 18:24–26:49
• SUR’s management & the Lisa/Natalie showdown: 41:03–48:53
• Shane Davis arrives/Bro energy: 49:32–54:39
• Discussion of West Hollywood & the state of the scene: 55:07–56:39

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Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie offer their trademark blend of real Bravo fan insight and loving mockery. They remain optimistic but wary—hoping the new generation at SUR will pay off if viewers (and Lisa) are patient. The cycle of LA dreamers (and nightmare co-workers) survives, even if the food, décor, and tips at SUR are going downhill.

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To Listen to Part 2:
Ben and Ronnie will continue with the rest of the S12E1 episode in part two of the recap!

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

Well, hello darlings, and welcome back to Watchwood Crappens, a restaurant. You meet your mistress. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

[Ben]

Hi. How's it going?

[Ronnie]

Good. Welcome home, Ben. Welcome to the warm, pink lit home of Vanderpump Rules.

We're back.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

So back, baby.

[Ronnie]

Everyone, we're doing Amazon Live Every Monday at 4. 4pm Join us this Monday. Our bonus this week is talking a bit about Thanksgiving. And then we went into a list of top housewives who entered the show at season five or later written by Ben. So we went over that. That was super fun. Go check that out on our Patreon bonus episode.

[Ben]

Check that out. And. And if you don't like the lists, that's a. Okay. Because you're not alone.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Just need to be dragged. If you don't like it, just leave. Ben. A TW that says you're a real. Okay.

[Ben]

Seriously. But that was actually really fun to do. It was a fun list to. It's. It's a work in progress. Maybe we'll. We'll revise and revise and. And do it on it and come up with a final list. Who knows? Or not. Because it's just a list. Who cares?

[Ronnie]

But.

[Ben]

Wow. Ronnie, what did you think about the return of Vanderpump Rules? Most importantly, what did you think about that?

[Ronnie]

Um. Oh, I was pausing. Cause I thought you were going to continue a sentence. Um, I really liked it. I think it has a lot of promise. I mean, I really loved the preview. We did a trailer trash for this over on our Patreon a while back, and I loved the trailer. I was. I had all the feels in the trailer, and I ended up really liking it. I mean, my overall notes. I think the kids have promise on it. Um, my overall note is fix that restaurant. I mean, the restaurant just looks so bad, doesn't it? It just looks so dirty and it looks old. I mean, I think if you're going to reboot, you really need to reboot the restaurant too. It needs to look new. I mean, Lisa's like, kind of limping out of there and like, maybe. I don't know. Or pants too. I don't know. Something's going on with her. She's kind of limping and the restaurant's limping and it's a sad time in West Hollywood right now, which we find out, which is so sad. It's like Vanderpump rules post Covid, you know, and it's really just horrible. But overall, I liked it. What did you think?

[Ben]

Yeah, I. I thought it was good, too, at first. I was like. I was a little bored at first, I'm not gonna lie. But I think it's because, you know, some. It was like a little sizzle, really, in the beginning. And whenever we say sizzle reel, it occurred to me, like, it's not. Everyone knows really what a sizzle reel is. But, like, a lot of times when shows are trying to get, like, an order from a network to do a pilot, what they'll do is producers will go and they'll shoot footage of some people. And the people sort of like, my name's Cindy. I'm a waitress, but my real passion is croquet. And you just sort of see, like, quick. It's kind of like a loose 15 minute pilot. It's like a presentation you show to executives, and they decide whether or not they're gonna throw money at it, make it a pilot. And so, like, there was that vibe here because we did get reacquainted. And I was like. I kind of wanted to, like, jump right into, like, story. But once it kind of got past all that, I actually felt surprisingly, like, fine with it. Like, I didn't. I really was not having moments of, like, this is nothing like the old magic. Like, I was like. I honestly was like, I thought it was fine. I actually thought. I. My favorite part. My favorite part was how poor they all are. But you got back to what, like, struggling actors. Like, when those two guys were on the beach talking about, like, acting, I was like. I mean, the amount of times you hear these conversations with two, like, beautiful idiots in Los Angeles, it's, like, innumerable. You go to Starbucks and you hear guys talking about acting classes or, like, how they got this gig.

[Ronnie]

Let me famous because everyone says I look like Robert De Niro.

[Ben]

You know, it's like, that's kind of like what this show is built on. So I was really happy that they tapped back into that.

[Ronnie]

I was, too. And I'm really into the whorish men. Like, I love that they just got straight up Horus this time for the men. Like, we've got two only fan cousins who are probably fudgeing, like, let's admit it, they've at least tried to.

Once or twice on each other, and I'm into it.

[Ben]

Yeah, they were. They literally were like, God, I. I want to go to Thailand after watching the White Lotus. Yeah, let's go together. I'm like, you did see that scene, right? Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So something Weird there. And then you've got. You know, it was also fun to take the trailer and take all of our initial thoughts that we just got from the trailer and seeing what was right and what was wrong, because I think that everybody is going to look at this and say, how does it compare to the original? Right? You're gonna try and see who they recast as what character. And we were really off on some of them, and some of them we were kind of on about. But, you know, it's gonna be hard to kind of let them do their own thing and not judge them as the old cast. But it's also been nice in recent weeks to just watch the old cast. They're just such assholes, you know? Like, Brittany does her whole, like, well, Lisa Vanderpump never called me one time about my son or nothing. And then you've got.

By the way, a restaurant manager has never called me to see how I'm doing. Okay. I have one that I'm friends with, and she's called me occasionally, but, like, that just doesn't happen. And then Sheena, who wrote her book, who's, like, making it sound like the worst thing that ever happened, they took her trauma and built a show off of it and all of this. And so to me, it's like seeing all those ungrateful having their paychecks taken away and handed to new, youthful people who could, you know, be ungrateful in 10 years? It's just nice. It's nice to see the cycle begin to repeat again.

[Ben]

Yeah, I actually felt like.

It felt I was. The big fear is that there'll be people who are going to be aspiring to be, like, the next Stassi, the next Jax or whatever. And I actually felt that people were more or less authentic to who they are. I mean, I feel like what seems to be our main girl, Natalie, she felt a little, like, fake at times. Like, I felt like she had some stuff that she brought into the interview room to be, like, funny with. Like, I think she needs. She needs a little bit more work, a little more time in the oven. But I think that, like, it. Like, it works.

[Ronnie]

I think she's gonna be great. I see what you see about there being, like, an. An air of fakeness about her and just being too on. But I also think that's who she really is. I think she is fake and too on, and that's bad. And I really like that.

[Ben]

There was, like. Yeah, like, there was. Like, she wasn't quite, Like, I think she thought she was maybe A little funnier than she was, but. But she wasn't bad. My favorite was Demi. The staff matter because she looks so over it. She's been there for eight years, and I think that matters because she's seen all these other idiots go on and, like, drop by. Drop by the restaurant to pretend to work and then going off, and now they're. All their lives are imploding, and she's like, oh, well, here we go again. A new cast of idiots that I got to look after. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And then you've got the one, I think, that is the most like the previous cast is Natalie. I think she's very Kristen. You know, she's very like Kristen, her. The hurricane. Just always being angry and flying off the handle and stuff like that. But then she's got some Sheena mixed in with the singing thing and the desperation and the old guys. You know, she's got that going on. But she actually is a decent singer. I mean, she's kind of like a hum singer. All right. But she's. She's a pretty good singer. I mean, I was actually surprised to hear some.

[Ben]

Yeah. But it was also funny to hear her. Yeah, she was all right. She was definitely, like, better than Sheena. But it was also funny hearing her being like, let's do a little bit more like a. I like that. Yeah. And then she's like, is it this?

[Ronnie]

No. Is it like this? Is it like that? It's like that. Let's do this.

It's not like. I don't know that she's gonna be on, like, a stage without a microphone projecting to the balcony anytime soon, but I don't know.

[Ben]

Right. And I think the one who reminded me most of Kristen, early. Early years. Kristen, was actually this girl Kim, because Kim and what's his face? The. The green bean guy. They. He. She sort of has that, like, early Kim and Sandoval. I'm sorry, Kristen and Sandoval energy where, you know, Sandoval and Kristen were having endless toxic fights in those first two seasons.

[Ronnie]

That's true. Yeah.

[Ben]

You know, Kristen was always getting jealous and always was getting upset at. At Tom, and Tom was like, dude, like, what did I do wrong? And we know that he was probably, like, playing all sorts of mind games with her. And so that's what we have now. What's that guy's name in the new season? The skinny guy?

[Ronnie]

I. I won't know till we get there. He's the guy from Mr. Robot, right? The guy who played Freddie Mercury.

[Ben]

Yeah, He's Rami Malik.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, Ramy Malik. He looks just like him.

[Ben]

He definitely does look like that. And. And begrudgingly. Like, his impersonation of the. The really hot guy was very accurate. When he started doing it, I was like, okay. But then that guy came in. He's like, yeah. Whenever you see what's his name again? We won't know until we see the names. It's like.

He really does come in. He's like.

[Ronnie]

I think the most actory, like, the people who seem to be acting the most are Kim. I think she's, like, a bad actor.

[Ben]

She's bad in her. In a confessional. She can't read her lines, right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She's, like, clearly has written lines that she can't read. And. And her boyfriend, Rummy Malek, is a little phony, and he's trying a little hard to be the new Jacks or whatever. And I just don't really. I don't get it. Really. And then Venus, who's the gay with the stringy hair? Listen, girl, love your hair. Love that you have long hair. Love your bold thing. I love your, like, dime store, like, fashion, you know, like, your thrifting, like, your thrift, glam or whatever. I like it, actually. Like, the audacity. But you need some Caristas.

You're frizzed. Like, you're frizzed out. I think I like him okay so far, but he's a little. He's a little actory, too. So I don't know. Overall, I kind of liked it, but it's a show that we just have to let it settle in because remember when we first recapped the first episode of Vanderpump rules 18,000 years ago? I hated that show. I wanted it to die. I resented everything about it. And then as it grew on me, it became my favorite show. So this one, I mean, I'm starting to kind of. I already kind of like. So I think it has promise.

[Ben]

We'll see. We'll. I mean, I, I. I'm, like, on board, honestly. And I'm surprised how quickly I'm on board, you know, Again, initially, I was like. I was like, a little like, okay, I'm sort of tired of hearing about what all your lives are. But I was. I. I found myself. I was in it. I was in it. And it was great to see cheap apartments. It was great to see guys talking about writing scripts together. It's great to see people with dreams, like, someone saying that they. That one guy who's like, I came to work at Sirs that way I can network. I was like, lol.

[Ronnie]

I'm sure lots of housewives from Oklahoma you're going to be getting cards from. Okay. Yeah. And it's kind of like it's the thrill of watching Squid Game, you know what I mean? You see all these contestants that are gathered together, and in my mind, the contestants are dreams. Okay. And then one by one, week by week, you just watch those dreams die. And that's a show that's, you know, LA Squid Games. So I'm here for it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Well, I think it's time that we dive in.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Let's do it.

[Ben]

So we start with the trailer, which we actually broke down, and so we don't have to go through the whole trailer again. But it's. We do. See, it does start with an image of a puddle, which I think is great. A puddle when it says sir in the puddle.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

And these have been like, oh, sir, welcome back. Villa Blanca is where you take your wife, and sir is where you take your mistress.

[Ronnie]

And we see a bunch of flashbacks of people's, you know, famous lines from the show. We did miss, as you pointed out in the trail trash. We did miss the what about the. It's not about the pasta. And we missed any Sheena line. Sheena really herself up. Like, she can't even be in the opening anymore. So that was funny to me. And then we go to Sir Lisa's greeting tables. Like, hello, welcome to sir, is this your mistress? Wink.

[Ben]

I was excited. I believe in the. In the trailer breakdown. I was excited because it looked like le. We thought, like, oh, a new. A new. A new era for. For Vanderpump rules. We are leaving the magician outfits in the. In the rear view mirror. No, no. Lisa is going strong with. With magic.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, magic is back. Listen, she spent so much time in Vegas recently with all of her empire there, that she's even magic here. I would say.

[Ben]

She really is. So she's like, okay.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Oh, oh, look at this. We're back in. I'm back in the seat being interviewed by Bravo. Oh, before we do this, how close are we? We can't be too close because my tits will disappear because they get lower and lower every year. So we need to make the frame wider. Get it?

[Ronnie]

Sir has been in business for 20 years, and one of the reasons we've lasted so long is we have the high expectations for food and ambiance. What are you talking about? Ain't nobody go there because your food is good. I like that. They kept showing clips. They kept showing Clips of the food, and it literally looked like human guts on a plate. And those lights are still the same hues. I can see the dirt on the walls. Could you get somebody to dust the walls?

[Lisa Vanderpump]

With all the recognition we've gotten from the James Beard foundation and the Michelin Guide, it's been hard to keep people away.

[Ronnie]

Actually, we've just had recognition from the BE foundation recently when people found little curly hairs in their soup. Damn you, Chef Joe.

[Ben]

I really would love a flashback of Chef Joe coming out trying, like, with his, like, turnip soup or whatever it was, or the time when Lisa was like.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

One thing that we like to do is highlight a new creation once a week. We called a special.

[Ronnie]

So we first meet Natalie. She's behind the bar with Chris, And Natalie's like, oh, my God, my lip gloss. My lip gloss is getting attached to my hair right now. He's like, yeah, your lip gloss is popping like that, huh?

[Ben]

Yeah, it is.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

You know, without. Without a vibrant staff, it just wouldn't be sir.

[Ben]

I'm like, you mean without? That's code for without? Terrible service but attractive people. It wouldn't be served.

[Ronnie]

The only thing vibrant is the staph infection at this restaurant, and we all know it.

[Ben]

The staff infection and the. And the pink neon lights in the background, which are not unlike my pink neon lights, I'd like to add.

[Ronnie]

I was gonna say we both got them, but, you know, that's. That's where they came from. Mine, you can't see because it's not dark out here. But see, see them over there? I put them on pink for Vanderpump. Oh, and there's Vanderpump hiding behind a plant.

[Ben]

There she is over there.

So now we see Venus taking orders. And Venus is like, working at sir is probably the best job I've ever had. And I've had, like, 36 jobs. It kind of reminds me of high school because I'm just, like, running around, like, talking with my friends all the whole time, and, like, everyone's, like, hot. They're all, like, each other, and they're just, like, absolute lunatics. Yeah, I had a pretty wild high school, actually, now that I think about it. Just a hot high school of copied social studies. We'd fuck in English class. We just fuck everywhere because everyone was so fucking hot in high school.

[Ronnie]

Are you, like, 22? How have you had 36 jobs, sir? He's. And so he goes to the table. He's like, hi. Like, shakes his hair back behind his head. He's like, hi, I'M Venus. I have long hair. Do you guys want to start with goat cheese balls or anything? Now listen, I know you all want to see Lala. She's not here, but her lips are. I'm wearing them.

[Ben]

I'm gluten free. Me too. It's like, okay, you're telling me they haven't come up with gluten free goat cheese balls yet at sir. I mean, you're in West Hollywood. I'm sure everyone's asking for gluten free goat cheese balls. How do they not do that?

[Ronnie]

But I love his response because that's, that would be my response to two gluten free people at one table. Because when there's two gluten frees, it's generally not celiac. You know what I mean? Chances are they're just annoying you on purpose. And so I like his response was just like, oh, yeah, okay, well I'll be back then. And he just walked away off. You're gluten free then. Figure it out. Bye.

[Ben]

Yeah, I have to say, everyone, it's, it's time that we acknowledge that the goat cheese, the goat cheese balls are not, they're not really what I think what they used to be. We had some of the goat cheese balls when we went to Pinkies in Vegas and it was like dry. Despite them being fried and crispy on the outside. It was like dry, crumbly, like cheese on the inside. It was not.

[Ronnie]

I loved it. I don't know that it was worth that much money because, I mean, I think they were like $8 per ball or something.

[Ben]

Yeah, it was something like. That was crazy.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, so. And they're tiny, you know, little, little nuts. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a grappens commercial.

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ronnie]

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So Venus is like, yeah, well, we work and we party and we have sex. So, like, I like to get up with my friends. What else can I say? That's a vibe of sir.

[Ben]

And I love that they brought back this tradition because in the early seasons of Vanderpump rules, they talked about sir like, it was literally the best restaurant in all of Los Angeles, if not the west coast, if not the country, if not the world. Like, yeah, sorry. Remember Kristen? She's like, yeah, sorry. We're just like all hot. Like, just. Sorry. We're just like models were hot.

[Ronnie]

Sorry.

[Ben]

Yeah, it is here. Everyone is.

[Ronnie]

Sir is a model.

[Ben]

You have to be model worker.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, we're all like totally hot.

So then Natalie sees a bottle and it looks like it's been watered Down. And she's like, that is disgusting, and that is not acceptable. I'm Natalie. I started working at SIR in May of 2023. It's been like 20, 23 years. So I started working on the exact same day as Venus. And it took me a second to warm up to him because I thought he was just wanting to take, like, photos throughout the whole shift and not work. But then I fell in love with them because he does take photos throughout the whole shift and not work. And now he's been my best friend forever. I'm definitely. I'm definitely the best bartender, and I'm the fastest and the most creative, and I look cute. Am I right?

[Ben]

And we see her at work. We're seeing the best bartender at work. She's like, make sure we're, like, cleaning everything. Okay. Especially these. Clean the glasses. Best bartender.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Like, if you have a shaker and you have Aperol in there and then you pour something else, it still tastes like Aperol because Aperol, like, sticks to stuff. So can we just, like, clean stuff, you guys? Best bartender here. Okay, well, I caught those. Can we catch it? Can we just do another shot and make it look like I caught those bottles doing cocktail.

[Ben]

Things go flying everywhere. Yeah. So now Chris. Chris is the guy who I think is from Jersey, and he's got big eyebrows and he's got very rosy cheeks, which is, like, carrying on the Jack's tradition. He's got sort of like, blush, and.

[Ronnie]

So Chris can rob me, hit me over the head with a cast iron pan, run me over and steal my dog, and I would still offer him a meal. I mean, I love him.

[Ben]

He. He did not do it for me, really say.

[Ronnie]

I mean, he's a child, but, you know, just in cuteness level. I mean, I think he's just so cute. Oh, my goodness.

[Ben]

I like the. I like the shorter one more.

[Ronnie]

He is the short one.

[Ben]

No, I'm talking about the taller guy with the rosy cheeks.

[Ronnie]

Oh, he's got more like. No, no, I want the little one. I want the little one.

[Ben]

The little one's adorable.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I like the little one. The little one.

[Ben]

But this guy, he's sort of like a mix of Jax and Brett rolled into one. So he's like, yeah, sir is pretty chill. And I laid back compared to the other restaurants that I've worked with. I mean, no one's really training me, though. I'm just, like, fed to the wolves. The wolves were starving. Like, did you say you needed you wanted training at Sir? I'm sorry. This is not a restaurant that has any sort of professional procedures. So if you want training, you have to go to a actual proper restaurant. Also, just put things into a. Into a shaker and pour it into a glass and see what comes out.

[Ronnie]

And what does this sentence mean? I'm just, like, fed to the wolves. And the wolves were starving.

Yeah. That's the only reason the wolves eat at this restaurant. They're starving to death. Okay.

[Ben]

It's also like, you're a bartender. Like, you just make your pumptini. Get the pumptini recipe and the pumptini rose, and then the rest just make. Make it up. Jack survived for many years doing this.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So Natalie's like, watch out, Chris, because I'm gonna hit you. I'm like the best bartender, and best bartenders move fast. He's like, don't be scared. Don't be shy with me. You can push me. Do whatever you need. It's called chemistry.

[Ben]

Yeah. I'm a real, like, lady killer. The main reason I work at SIR is to network and create more opportunities for myself. I was. I really want to. I really want to make a name for myself in Asian antiquities, decor wise. So I'm just trying to network with some planters and some oversized sort of quasi Asian motifs that they've got in here.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. You know, everyone's always told me I've got that Hollywood look. They say that I look like Robert De Niro. Okay. I don't think that's a compliment, honestly. I mean, Robert De Niro, great actor. I don't know that he's like a pinup, you know, but he does look like him.

He does.

[Ben]

Okay. I'm not.

[Ronnie]

I'm not shaming him. I'm just saying, like, there's. I don't know. I. I don't see Robert De Niro with an only fans. You know what I mean?

[Ben]

I just also think that just because you look like Robert De Niro does not mean that, therefore, you're going to necessarily make it in this business.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. I look like Uncle Fester. I'm not on Wednesday.

[Ben]

So Natalie is like, oh, my God. I didn't realize this was your second day of training. I've just been so busy making drinks because I'm the best bartender here. And Chris is like, yeah, I mean, what'd you think? You were supposed to train me the first day?

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Did you forget?

[Ben]

She's like, well, yeah, actually, yeah. Because I was gonna say I wasn't here last week because I was suspended, which is crazy because I'm the best bartender here, and I was suspended. Isn't that wild?

[Ronnie]

He's like, oh, you're naughty. What you do. Naughty girl. She's like, no, I wasn't being naughty. I was just defending myself. So in the kitchen, they're also talking about her. And now we meet Venus, who's also like, giant lipped and very pretty. Oh, no, Venus. No, Demi is also giant. Venus has la la lips. And Demi also has very giant, very beautiful lips. I love her. She's. She's my favorite so far. So Venus is like, I saw Natalie behind the bar. She goes, yeah, we said hi. It's normal.

[Ben]

Wait, you said hi to Natalie?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because I'm professional. So.

[Ben]

Then we go back to Natalie and she's like, everyone's gonna tell you that I was crazy and screaming, which is true. So basically last week, my stepdad and brother were in town, and we went to sur with some friends, and Paolo was working.

[Ronnie]

Who's Paolo? Paul is my ex boyfriend, and he also works at sir he's 54, but he's like a hot 54. I cannot. What? You were making out with a hot 24? She' 26. Paulo from SIR I'm looking his ass up because they put a happy face over his face so we couldn't see him. Paulo from SIR I mean, oh, he.

[Ben]

Was in a bad motorcycle accident. Oh, he does not look 54 at all. Here, I'll send you.

[Ronnie]

Is that why they put a happy face over his. His body?

[Ben]

So eight weeks ago, Guillermo posted a picture with Paolo and said, my dear friend Paolo has been in a terrible motorcycle accident and is now fighting for his life in this incredible difficult time. I ask everyone to put, you know, thoughts in your hearts. Thoughts and prayers. Please join me in praying for us. Oh, my goodness. Well, I hope Paolo's okay.

[Ronnie]

Well, geez, way to ruin it, Ben.

[Ben]

Well, I didn't know that this is what I was going to be coming up on.

[Ronnie]

Jeez, God, don't Google people, people. Okay? Learn your lesson. So anyway, so they just put a big happy face over him. And Natalie's like, yeah, well, I just asked him to unblock my number. And then he started telling me I'm a bad person and all this drama. And I know, like, very, you know, it was, like, very loud. And he goes, yeah, it was a verbal encounter. Yeah, verbal encounter, exactly. Because I'm a disturbance. And then I'm being asked to leave on my best friend. I don't know, I just lost my mind. Can you believe that?

[Ben]

I mean, I'M the best bartender in sir, and they're asking me to leave. That's. That's crazy. You know what's a real disturbance? Shitty cocktails made by inferior bartenders.

[Ronnie]

You know what's not shocking here? That we have, like, 20 drinks sitting on the bar and no waiters picking them up. What the heck?

[Ben]

Yeah. Where are the servers at? Right? Come on, guys. Come on. So where are those servers? They're in the kitchen. So we see Marcus. Marcus is the skinny guy. Marcus and Venus, they're taking shots, and Marcus is like, wow, cheers to an awesome night, my friend. Let's go have a good time. And he's. Venus is like, I'm so sure, man. Like, let's have, like, a good time, man. Yes.

[Ronnie]

So Marcus is Rami Malik, right?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

Okay. So he's like, yeah, working at sir. It's a playground for me. You got to keep it interesting, or else we're just serving tables.

[Ben]

That's literally what you're doing.

[Ronnie]

That is what you're doing.

[Ben]

I hate to break it to you. You as a server, like, the thing you're doing is serving tables.

[Ronnie]

I love that you can talk yourself into some other delusion, but you better get my goat cheese balls. Okay? Because that's what you were here for.

[Ben]

Don't keep it interesting. I think. Is this something we talked about in the trailer when he said, you got to keep it interesting? No, I don't want my weight. I don't want my. I don't want my waiters to keep it interesting. Yeah, just bring me the food.

[Ronnie]

Here's what I don't need from you. Interesting. Okay. Bring me my Diet Coke and my vodka martini and my goat cheese balls and line them up and go the fuck away. Okay.

[Ben]

I was surprised because I think from the trailer, I thought Marcus was going to be the quote, unquote, like, nice guy of the cast. Like, the good guy who, like, cares about rules and things. Like, I don't know why. I just thought he was the nice guy. And it turns out, no, he is actually one of the. He is, like. He's doing the shots from. He's scooping sangria into a cup so he could sneak drinks in. And he's like. Doesn't care about working, and he's, like, in a toxic relationship. That's just really not what I was expecting.

[Ronnie]

I wasn't either. We weren't expecting him to be, like, the stud of the show. He looked like kind of the dork in the previews, but here we go. We were like, is that the gay guy? We were trying to figure out if there was, like, a gay guy other than Venus Hobbs, but no. So, yeah, he's. I think he's really trying to be cool, but I don't think he's cool. I think we're probably more right than we think.

[Ben]

So right now he's definitely not the coolest. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

He's training Jason, who is the one that I would go to prison for. I love Jason. So he's like. Jason's like, do people actually order goat cheese balls a lot? Yeah. Where the do you think you are, sir? Did you not look at this? It's like the image on the Google Maps is a goat cheese ball.

[Ben]

This is actually such a good sign because, like, the biggest fear that we have are people who just, like, watch the show and then are trying to replicate it. And this guy clearly has never seen Vanderpump rules. He's like, goat cheese balls. What? Yeah. So Marcus is like, yeah, everybody. Damn near everybody except for those two gluten free losers at table 12. Yeah. I'm pointing at you.

[Ronnie]

So you're telling me I'm gonna be selling balls at my job and at my home job. It's a lot of ball selling. So Marcus is like, yeah, everybody gets on my bruh. There's servers who know the menu to a T and they'll tell you everything down to the arugula or whatever, but I'm just, like, shaking it up. I like to get in people's ear. Okay. Everyone loves me here, so I'm not gonna get in any trouble. What are you gonna do, fire me? How? How are you gonna fire this?

[Ben]

This guy being so proud of being a terrible worker is hilarious. He's like, there's some people who just, like, know this menu. That's so stupid. I'm just gonna show up and just bring food to whichever table. I mean, they'll eat it, right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. It's like, hey, and when bartenders don't give you a drink, you've got brunch sangria right in the fridge. So he's trying to get him to drink and take shots and stuff. But we can tell that he doesn't do this often because he's doing it right in front of the camera. So he's trying to be cool, but he totally looks like a dork trying to be cool. The second the cameras come on, he.

[Ben]

Has no idea that Natalie is up in her office doing sliver action. And she's like, what is happening on monotone number four? I will have to discuss this later.

[Ronnie]

She's in a bathtub with a remote control. So Jason's like, yeah, training with Marcus. I feel like I want to do more, but he's like, do less. You know, because he's like, you come here, and you just don't work. And I'm like, like, what do I do? And then he's like, nothing.

[Ben]

This is. This is a real problem for Lisa Vanderpump, because her whole thing is like.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Well, you know, Jax, he. He stole from. He stole revenue, and he. He put his hand up someone's skirt, and he cursed out a customer. But he's the best of the best. What am I supposed to do?

[Ben]

I can't fire him.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

He's the best part.

[Ben]

And. But now this guy's like, I literally am the worst. It's like, I don't like to serve. I don't know the menu. I don't care. I just show up and I smile and I go back to the back room and I drink. So Lisa does not have the excuse.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Of, like, oh, I would fire him, but he's the best waiter we have.

[Ronnie]

Oh, no one can replace little Jacksie. Let's all look through our HR manuals. Every single page says, boys will be boys.

[Ben]

So, yeah, they do these, like, sangria shots. And then Marcus is like, don't tell Demi. And Demi's like, what are you guys doing? He's like, we're just chatting. I'm just telling him about the dry stock. Tell him how all the dry ingredients are over there because it's dry stock. That's actually, like, not funny. I take the dry sock very seriously. So, like, please don't make jokes about that.

[Ronnie]

She tells us, I honestly work with idiots. I started it, sir, like, eight years ago. Shoot me in the face.

[Ben]

And we see that. We see her sort of, like, ghostly presence as she walks around in the background behind Sheena. It's the only flashback we. I feel like we got of, like, old school. Vanderpump rules. So, look, Sheena got her moment. She wasn't included in, like, the quotes of the puddle, but they did give her a flashback.

[Ronnie]

But they didn't even let her talk. She was selling hi, I'm lot, and they cut her off and just circled Demi in the background. It's like they asked me to be assistant manager because I was already bossing people around. So just kind of worked out for them. Yeah, I've been sweating like a pig in here. I feel like I'm going through menopause. It's so Hot in here.

[Ben]

Marcus is like, have you ever seen the Shining? Like, Jack Nicholson was there the whole time. That's Demi at Sir. Oh, God, that's such a scumbag thing to say. But it's the truth. It really is the truth. I'm like, sir, you're no spring chicken yourself. So I thought that was funny.

[Ronnie]

And then they showed a black and white picture, and you just showed Demi's face being there the whole time. All right, well, how are you doing? You're not allowed to come on the floor there, Jason, you bad little boy.

[Ben]

And Jason laughs and. Wait, is Jason the new guy again?

[Ronnie]

I forgot. No, I think that's Marcus. No, no, that's Marcus. Wait, hold on. Jason is the new guy? Yeah, Jason is a new guy.

[Ben]

Jason's the short guy that we like.

[Ronnie]

This is like a new below deck. We need a few weeks to get the names. This is very hard.

[Ben]

I. I'm like. I'm just too lazy to pull up their faces. I'll do it next time you go on a monologue, I'll pull up the faces. So Lisa's like, oh, hello.

[Ronnie]

Hello, hello, hello.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Oh, look, there's Audrey, a hostess.

[Ben]

So Audrey comes in. She's the blonde girl. She's sort of like Lady Gaga in the beginning of, like, A Star Is Born. She's like, hi. I don't know if she's chewing gum, but she definitely has that vibe of like, hey, what's going on, guys? My feet hurt. These boots were not made for walking.

[Ronnie]

It's like, yeah, Everyone that works at SIR is also trying to make it in the entertainment industry because, like, we're all singers and actors and dancers, and I'm definitely manifesting roles in horror films. I can do a really good, like, kill me scream. You want to see?

See.

[Ben]

It'S also the sound that the customers make when they receive the wrong order.

[Ronnie]

It's the same. The same sound that customers make the next morning when they look inside the toilet.

[Ben]

So Marcus comes up to Kim, because this is also where we meet Kim. She's like, kim doesn't have any. She has, like, one look on her face, which is like, disappointment.

[Ronnie]

Kim is basically Melissa Gorga. She looks just like Melissa Gorga, but she's got, like, this boring edge to her face. And listen, Melissa Gorga is not that exciting to begin with, but she's like an untouched up version of Gorga.

[Ben]

She really is. And so Marcus is like, hey, what are you doing? You're so far away. She's like, I'm busy. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm busy. And then they kiss. He's like, come on, come on, let's talk. Everyone's pissing me off, asking me to throw a bit for. For a bunch of bullshit that I don't want to do. It's like, those are your customers, and they're asking you if they can have goat cheese balls and some salmon.

[Ronnie]

That's what she said. She's like, oh, my God. Like, as a server. Because you're a server. Wow. They're asking you for things.

[Ben]

Exactly. I don't have time for that. It's your section.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'm cool, babe. I don't got time for that. And so Demi is like, yeah, Kimberly's Marcus's girlfriend, and she's just in love with Marcus and all that. That's really all there is to say about it. That's her personality. Well, she loves Marcus. The end.

[Ben]

That's it. So Kim is like. When I first started. When I first started, sir, two years ago, I felt. I feel like Marcus was like, a bit of, like, a makeup bandit, and Marcus is like, yeah, to be dead honest, everybody was just trying to fuck your boy.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Yeah.

[Ben]

That's just the truth. I'm not lying. Were they?

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Venus says that they fight every single week. One week together, they're the best relationship. The next, they break up and they start all over again.

[Ben]

Yeah. Venus is probably like, my best friend on paper, because, like, on paper, we're totally different. Like, I'm a crazy, and he's like a pop diva without a pop record.

And. No, Venus is like, I actually have a. An album that does very, very well in Turkmenistan, but that's fine.

[Ronnie]

Venus says, yeah, I feel like everyone thinks that me and Kim and Marcus are a throuple because Marcus will literally show me his dick on a picture on his phone in front of Kim, and Kim will be like, oh, that's. That's totally normal.

[Ben]

Great. Sounds like. Sounds like things won't go totally terribly.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

For the three of you.

[Ben]

So Kim is saying how it's really busy because it's like, it's really busy tonight for a Wednesday. Venus is like, it's too busy. I'm about to have a heart attack.

[Ronnie]

So Lisa comes to Chris at the bar. She's like, how are you doing? Do you know all the drinks yet? Because you want to test me? She's like, not yet. Thank you. I just don't want to have to say pumptini again.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I'm just not ready.

Okay. The first test, I will do A test. Jack and Coca Cola.

[Ben]

It's like, all right, here you go.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

This is a lemon drop. What is wrong with you? The test is in. The ingredients are in the name. But he's the best that we have.

[Ronnie]

So she comes up to Natalie and she's like, welcome back. We need to have a one on one. Table 10, shall we?

[Ben]

So they go into, like, the. The soft focus on Lisa is really strong these days. They go into this, like, room that's, like, dark and, like, candle lit.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

And it's like, okay, you're back. But I still don't like what I've heard.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'm sure you don't, Lisa. Like, I'm sure you don't, Lisa.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

You need to explain to me, young lady, exactly what transpired. Because I take it very, very seriously when it goes out there into the restaurant because you came in on your night off with your family, and then you create this ridiculous scene.

[Ronnie]

Well, it's just that I'm gonna talk really high right now because I'm just a little girl that you're talking to. But Paolo and I broke up three months ago. We never had any separation. Which is, like, totally fine because that's what happens when you date someone that you work with. I totally get it.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Lisa, darling, you came here on your night off. That night is for separation. And then you went after him. I've seen the tape. You were relentless. Pandy couldn't even watch it herself.

[Ronnie]

But Pandy does have the projection screen. Pandy, roll it in here, darling. She rolls like an old squeaky thing like he used to have in grade schools.

[Ben]

Like.

The TV divine addiction on it.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Leftovers. Leftover equipment.

[Ronnie]

All right, darling. Pandy, what do we call this? This? A blog, Mother. All right, press play. So they press play, and we see Natalie going up to the bar, yelling and waving her finger at people and be like.

[Ben]

So now everyone's watching on their phones. And Demi's like, I don't even need the audio for this. I can hear her screaming. Like, Natalie was, like, at the bar, wasted, screaming at Paolo, begging him to unblock her number. Stupid.

[Ronnie]

Okay, let me tell you this. Natalie's family, fries flies in from out of town, and her dad, who's surgeon, comes in to see how his daughter's doing at work. And he turns around and she's trying to strangle the bartender.

[Ben]

Demi's like, she has her finger in my face, saying, like, you're always against me. I can't believe I'm being treated like this. I'm Natalie. I like I'm Natalie.

[Ronnie]

And Natalie's like, okay, here's a list of reasons why I really shouldn't be in trouble at all. Number one, I wrote them on my phone. Okay, so my notes. Why is everyone making me have to be so crazy? Because I'm actually going through something. And by the way, Mercury has been in retrograde this entire time. And by the way, my ex and I had no sex life. You're dating a 56 year old girl. Like what are you expecting? And he was very private about everything. So that's another reason why I'm really upset. Because maybe if I was getting laid, I'd be a happier person. Maybe date someone like in their 40s. I mean, I don't know.

[Ben]

Baby steps, anything.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Their outerwear lineup is no joke. Down jackets, wool top coats, and leather styles that are built to last.

[Ben]

Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production.

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

It's everything you actually want to wear. Built to hold up season after season. And you know, in Los Angeles, it doesn't get very cold here, but it can get a little chilly. And I have my beautiful Mongolian cashmere sweater from Quince and it has been perfect for these chilly evenings.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think we keep saying Mongolian cashmere so much when we're talking about Quince that that's what I went for too. I got a Mongolian cashmere hoodie, like a camel colored hoodie. And it's comfortable and it is a good.

Gorgeous.

[Ben]

Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com crappens for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com crappens free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/grabens.

[Ronnie]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree, Zoe. This thing weighs a ton.

[Ben]

Drew, ski lift with your legs, man.

[Ronnie]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you, britches.

[Ben]

I'm not.

[Ronnie]

Of course he did.

[Ben]

Right, Santa? You know My elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list and help.

[Ronnie]

I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right, Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister.

[Ben]

And AT T mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part, you can make.

[Ronnie]

The switch to T mobile from your.

[Ben]

Phone in just 15 minutes.

[Ronnie]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping.

[Ben]

Kimber.

[Ronnie]

The holidays are better.

[Ben]

AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us.

[Ronnie]

With no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month eBay.

[Ben]

Bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel Finance agreement. 256 gigs, $830.

[Ronnie]

Eligible for in a new line, $100.

[Ben]

Plus a month plan with auto pay.

[Ronnie]

Plus taxes, fees required.

[Ben]

Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Oh, but what. What would you think if you saw someone acting like that in front of you while you just sat, sat there and ordered a cocktail? You came here to relax. What would you think? As John Kenyas would say, what would you do?

[Ronnie]

Well, I would think that girl's freaking crazy. I'm like so embarrassed, Lisa.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Well, I'm embarrassed for you, but I.

[Ronnie]

Was in like fight or flight mode. Like, it was like fight or flight.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Please, please give me some trauma. If you say that you are a bird that has been broken, we can fix this. But if not, I will have to be very stern with you, young lady.

[Ronnie]

You are a young woman. A woman that's been here a long time, ever since the year 2023 A.D. and you know, that's the only reason after this behavior where I'm actually going to give you a break. Because otherwise I would have let you go like that. Hold on, hold on. Hand me. Hand me the jiggy knockoff. Hand me the jiggy knockoff. I would have let you go like that. Smoke bomb.

The smoke didn't go off. It just looks like I threw a dog. All right, hand me the dog again.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

It's all right times in West Hollywood. Not even the smoke bombs go off anymore. I have to say that everyone knows that I'm very stern with my employees and that I am known for firing people on the spot when they do terrible behaviors. So just know your job is in peril at Some point in the distance.

[Ronnie]

Where else Will you earn $50 per night?

Smoke alarm.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Now listen very carefully. I will be keeping an eye on you and ways that you can't even imagine. I will see your every move. And if by the stroke of midnight you have not cleaned the app roll out of the shaker, then you shall be reporting for duty again tomorrow at the normal time. There will be no consequences.

[Ronnie]

All right, now before you go, pull the shirt under my sleeve. Pull it. Okay.

[Ben]

Ow.

[Ronnie]

I'm just pulling your. You told me to pull it. I know. Pull harder.

[Ben]

Ow.

[Ronnie]

Nothing's coming out. Damn. Ken, get in there. We need to fix these handkerchiefs.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

No, darling. Thank you for doing that. My giant sleeve ruffles got caught in the laser sleeves. They weren't fully extended and now they're all flowering out.

[Ronnie]

She can't even do her multiple scarves coming out of her wrist anymore.

Ever since the pandemic.

[Ben]

So Natalie goes back to the bar and Chris, like, had that ghost. Like, it was okay. I deserve it. I deserve it.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Ben]

By the way, I'm gonna be back. I need a minute.

[Ronnie]

So Marcus hugs her and he's like, you seem upset. She's like, yeah, obviously the way that I handle myself was wrong. Like, it sucks that it happened here, but it did.

Hey.

[Ben]

Well, I mean, I think you're off to a good start. I mean, you came back in. You Smith sailing. You talked to Lisa.

[Ronnie]

Everything's good. Oh, yeah, don't worry. Shane Davis is gonna come. Shane Davis is coming tonight.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Shane Davis. Shane Davis.

[Ronnie]

Shane Davis.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Wow.

[Ronnie]

Shane Davis. Let that name sit. Shane Davis is coming. Shane Davis is coming tonight.

[Ben]

Did you hear? Shane Davis. Davis is coming to. Sir.

[Ronnie]

Tonight. I don't know if anybody. Davis is coming in the side.

I met Shane to Marcus, and we've been talking for a few weeks now because now I can be social now that I'm single. Sorry I had to yell that, but he's 54, so.

You don't.

[Ben]

You don't have to know his face. You just hear. You hear Shane Davis's laugh and you'll know he's good looking. Coming through the door. He's just like, like.

And then we see Shane Davis walk in and he's like.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. He comes around the door and you're like, damn, that is Shane Davis. He's jacked. He's got pretty blue eyes. He's got 90s hair. Am I in love with Shane Davis? I might be in love with Shane Davis.

[Ben]

So Shane Davis walks in with a girl, an anonymous girl, and Sits at the bar. And Natalie's like, oh, my God. Shane just walked in with a girl after he told me, I'm not going to bring a girl to your workplace. He is a liar.

[Ronnie]

Well, just because you lie once doesn't make you a liar. Right? Like, if you cut your hair once, does that make you a barber? That's right.

[Ben]

Marcus is like. He like, does like this gesture to be like, yep, gotcha. Gotcha.

[Ronnie]

That one.

[Ben]

You just got Marcus. You got Marcus. You got the old barber trap. Marcus, can you not right now, okay? I cannot deal with logic and deduction. I don't have this energy for your bullshit.

[Ronnie]

So here comes Shane. He's like, what up, Chris? What up, big Dog? How you doing, brother? What are you getting, brother? Big Dog. Yeah, Big Dog. Big dog's gonna have a brother drink. Yeah, brother drink, bro.

[Ben]

Drink. No, I'm not. I'm sober, bro. Nothing for me. Which you should know because we're friends. But that's okay. I'll just remind you. I'm sober, bro.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, you want a mocktail? I'm gonna surpr. I'm gonna surprise the fuck out of you, bro. Ham.

[Ben]

Hey, America, I'm sober, but it doesn't stop me from going out to the bar and going out to the clubs and chasing women.

[Ronnie]

So what's your type, buddy? My type is chasing women.

[Ben]

Who wants to get some breeskies and head out to the ocean? We can do catch some sick waves.

[Ronnie]

And he sees a customer. He's like, yo, random customers. Customer. This is our first date right here. Yeah.

[Ben]

Guess what, America? I'm more addicted to a hot succubus woman that I am. Drugs. I'm up.

[Ronnie]

So Marcus, this guy is like the.

[Ben]

Living embodiment of the scene. And she's all that where they jump into a yellow Jeep wrangler and go to the beach. Like, that's like. He'd take that. That entire scene and make that into a human. That's him.

[Ronnie]

This is the guy that beat up Anthony Michael hall in every teen movie.

[Ben]

So now he really is like, we're having a party tonight. Like, he really is the energy of an 80s movie.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he's like my part. My parents are out of town. He wants to party.

[Ben]

Bruce. No nerds alive, though.

[Ronnie]

I didn't even have a stroller when I was a baby. I had a Jeep. My nanny just pushed me around in. Jeez. That's right, bro.

[Ben]

He's always had a Jeep. He's always had it. Jeep with the top down. That's just this guy. So he. So Marcus comes up and says hi and everything and meets his girl's name is Nika and everything. And Natalie's like. She storms off.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, well, I met Natalie a few weeks ago. Karaoke. She's clearly unstable, but she's hot.

[Ben]

So then.

[Ronnie]

So Natalie's like, oh, my God. He's gonna wish later when we all go out that he didn't bring this girl, because I thought we were vibing. Like, who does that?

[Ben]

Kim's like, natalie. He's obviously doing it for a reason. I don't like it, what Shane tells us. But the thing is, she's definitely been playing hard to get. So I brought a girl tonight who's looking bad as hell, and if it rubs her the wrong way again.

[Ronnie]

All right, man, what do you want to drink? A virgin mojito. He's like a little bitch. And, Mo, bro.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I missed that. A virgin.

[Ben]

Mo, a virgin. Don't say that in West Hollywood, by the way. You don't know what you're going to wind up getting.

[Ronnie]

All right, well, you as well, little lady. You don't drink either, huh? She's like, no, because I got a call, came tomorrow. It's like, oh, wow, doctor. That's cool. So you're probably not gonna come out to the Belmont.

No, I'm auditioning for a Cialis commercial.

[Ben]

Okay, cool.

[Ronnie]

I really know what that is. But that's cool. Commercials are still cool, bro. Even in the time of streaming. That's badass.

[Ben]

Hello. Hello. You heard about the Cialis? Oh, you have? Okay, cool.

[Ronnie]

So they're going to the Belmont. Is that the only place near? Why do they go all the way to the Belmont? That seems far to me.

[Ben]

They love going to the north. It's not.

[Ronnie]

I mean, is it walkable?

[Ben]

Robertson to La Cienica?

[Ronnie]

It's. It's far.

[Ben]

Technically, yes. I mean, you're not. They're not gonna walk it. They're just gonna.

[Ronnie]

I guess they're straight, so they're not like, let's just go to Motherlode, you know? But, yeah, seems far.

[Ben]

Belmont's kind of like. It's like the place where they all go. I heard a rumor that the Belmont might be closing the bar. I can't imagine that's true. The Belmont's been there for ages. Ever since I moved to la, it's been there.

[Ronnie]

Well, so. Of most of the things that have been closing all over the place. Gotta love me I choose right when the town is imploding to move back, like yes, I'm back. They're sorry. The town is closed. And now decrepit. Enjoy yourself.

[Ben]

If the. If the Belmont closes, you could probably blame Shorts and Sandy's because Shorts and Sandy's was like the owner of the Belmont was in it with. With them. Right. And so I wonder if he lost a lot of money on that. You know, a lot of times with restaurants and bars, if you open up like a second one and the second one tanks, it sort of pulls the other one down. That's what I. That's what I heard from a restaurateur.

[Ronnie]

1. Oh, I didn't know that. I forgot that the owner of the Belmont was in Schwartz and Sandy's. Oh, God. You would think that somebody who runs the Belmont would know better than to open a place next to the UCB on Fairfax, on Franklin.

[Ben]

Duh. Well, it's, you know, it's high stakes right now for the Belmont. Someone call it the Belmont Stakes.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Thank you, Alfredo.

[Ben]

So Shane is like, so they're gonna go to the Belmont, guys, tonight, guys, after school, we're gonna go to the Belmont.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah. Belmont time.

[Ronnie]

So you guys. So tips tonight. 500 between eight servers. So they're gonna make $50. That is so sad. Do you remember the old days? They were like, I made $500 today. Die X.

I know.

[Ben]

But now it's. It's trying times. It's her post Pandy.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Most pandy. Oh, wordplay.

[Ronnie]

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two. Go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers.

[Ben]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly. Clapping.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben]

Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo, Jamie. She has no less namey.

[Ronnie]

She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot.

[Ben]

She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

[Ronnie]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B K Sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ben]

This is living with Michelle Vivian I.

[Ronnie]

Love a y' all Olivia Williamson.

[Ben]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ronnie]

Yes, we can. It's Savannah.

[Ben]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie]

Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.

[Ben]

Lopez.

[Ronnie]

She's VV IP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben]

Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.

[Ronnie]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ben]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Ronnie]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Ben]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish my Favorite Murdo Karen.

[Ronnie]

McMurdo She's a total knockout It's Katie.

[Ben]

Manock in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron, she's a wiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al Kalani.

[Ronnie]

The incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud.

[Ben]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we cannot.

[Ronnie]

Tell a lie It's Sarah tell of.

[Ben]

Son Shannon out of a can and Anthony please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[Ronnie]

She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.