#3111 Vanderpump Rules S12E2 Part 2: A Manifest for All Seasons

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3111

Vanderpump Rules S12E2 Part 2: A Manifest for All Seasons

Release Date: December 11, 2025
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this irreverent, hilarious episode, Ben and Ronnie deliver part two of their recap of Vanderpump Rules Season 12, Episode 2. The hosts critique, celebrate, and relentlessly roast the current cast’s personal dramas—especially the convoluted friendship/romance triangles and over-the-top birthday festivities. As always, the hosts' signature blend of deep Bravo knowledge, quick wit, and affection for the absurd takes center stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lisa & Marcus: The Broken Bird Redemption Arc

[03:17 - 08:49]

• Lisa's Big Meeting with Marcus:
  • Marcus, anxious after a workplace skirmish, brings flowers to Lisa Vanderpump while fearing for his job at SUR.
  • The hosts act out Lisa’s dramatic, almost magical persona:

    “You bad little boy. Show me your broken birdedness!” —Ben as Lisa [04:58]

  • Marcus reveals he’s grappling with the deaths of both parents, earning Lisa’s sympathy (and a prescribed round with the company’s new grief counseling/HR).
  • Ronnie (as Lisa) riffs:

    “When a little birdie can’t fly, do you just kick it out of the nest? No. You drink their tears until they're dry of salt, and then you brush their feathers until they are ready to fly again.” [08:28]

  • Hosts’ Take: Lisa is both cartoonishly nurturing and clearly loving the emotional spectacle. Marcus’ “damaged bird” status now insulates him from being fired—at least for now.

2. Audrey’s Taylor Swift Birthday & New Cast Rituals

[09:01 - 16:09]

• Audrey’s "Taylor Swift Year":
  • The hosts lampoon Audrey celebrating turning 22 and labeling it her Taylor Swift year.

    Ronnie: “I'm 22, everybody. It's so glamorous… It's my Taylor Swift year.” [09:27]
    Heather: “Wait, why is 22 a Taylor Swift year?” [09:37]

  • Ben and Ronnie comically dissect how Bravo may have back-burnered this cast during the ‘Scandoval’ era, hence the weird relevance of 2023 and “22” in the show’s timeline.
• Manifestation Coach & Faith’s Arrival:
  • Newcomers like Venus (the manifestation coach) and Faith (self-aware about her name referencing “past wrongs” on Bravo) are introduced with self-referential humor.
  • The birthday is hyped with a sense of camp:

    "Venus is coming. I’m gonna manifest that you’re gonna love him… He knows about the Secret. You know, about the Secret Secret. It’s not just deodorant anymore.” —Heather as Audrey [11:08]

• Dating and Hunger Games:
  • The hosts roast LA dating struggle monologues:

    Ronnie: “No, you’re just hungry. It’s called starvation. Let’s not try to make it cute.” [11:52]

3. Spray Tans & Body Shaming—Bravo Traditions

[13:41 - 14:54]

• Venus and Natalie get airbrushed in pre-party rituals, filled with self-mockery about LA body culture:

  “If anyone wants to know how I got my ass, it’s Tostino Pizza Rolls and Hot Pockets. One box of Hot Pockets, and my ass is clapping.” —Venus (parody) [14:29]

• Witty predictions fly about how the cast will look after another season of LA living and cosmetic procedures.

4. The Marcus-Kim-Natalie Love Triangle/Drama Central

[15:05 - 32:37]

• The birthday rooftop party brings together the core cast and their unresolved grievances.
• Who’s Mad at Whom and Why:
  • Kim v. Natalie: Kim is jealous/suspicious over Natalie’s friendship with Marcus, fueled by (allegedly) flirty texts (“I just bought some heels; hope you're proud”). Natalie is baffled that this is seen as a betrayal.

    “Oh my God. It is disgusting to me… She’s ridiculous.” —Heather as Kim [27:03]

  • Marcus’s Role: Marcus plays both sides, telling Kim he’s “like brother and sister” with Natalie, but also encouraging the rivalry.

    “When guys say she’s like my sister, does that mean they want to...? Is that a straight thing?” —Heather [29:26]

  • Kim and Natalie oscillate from enemies to allies (even holding hands), united by mutual exasperation at Marcus’s manipulations.

    “Kim puts up with a lot more from that man than I ever would. ...the only logical explanation is that Marcus must have some bomb dick.” —Venus (via Ronnie) [31:32]

• Marcus’s Grief Card:
  • Marcus references the death of both parents whenever cornered emotionally.

    “I don’t want to be the guy to pull this card, but I am dealing with the loss of both of my parents...” —Bronwyn as Marcus [30:29]

    • Ronnie admits the “dead parents card” is hard to argue with: “It’s a good card.” [30:53]

5. Party Antics: Strippers, Sobbing, & Surrealism

[32:37 - 35:43]

• The party peaks with lap dances, including Audrey’s “gay friend” being dismissed by professional strippers.

  “We’ve actually got trained meat here, sir.” —Heather [33:19]

• Chris, embodying his alter ego “Axelrod Thrusting,” joins the festivities.

  “You know who else does the thrusting move? Every other male stripper. Congratulations.” —Heather [33:38]

• Meanwhile, Kim is seen sobbing to Natalie—her former nemesis—in a powerful display of Bravo-brand whiplash friendship shifts. > “Within the same shot, like, two feet away, you have Kim sobbing to Natalie, who she was just mad at... God, it feels like this is the moment where I just have to give up.” —Heather [34:29, 35:36]

6. Episode Wrap-Up & Host Reflections

[35:43 - 36:47]

• The hosts delight in the “absurdity” of the drama, saluting the show’s willingness to be messy and funny so quickly in the season.

  “The episode ends on that note... I hope they get back together, said no one.” —Heather [35:43] “But this was a funny, funny episode. Especially for a number two—a number two episode, not a poop...” —Bronwyn [35:54]

• Ben and Ronnie encourage fans to open their hearts to Vanderpump 2.0, likening its potential to Bravo's “McBee Dynasty.”

  “If you’re willing to open your heart up for the McBees, I say open your heart up for new Vanderpump Rules as well.” —Heather [36:39]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Lisa’s management style:

  “You drink their tears until they're dry of salt, and then you brush their feathers until they are ready to fly again.” —[08:28]

• On LA dating struggles:

  “No, you’re just hungry. It’s called starvation. Let’s not try to make it cute.” —[11:52]

• On a Bravo birthday ritual:

  “If anyone wants to know how I got my ass, it’s Tostino Pizza Rolls and Hot Pockets.” —[14:29]

• On Marcus playing the grief card:

  “I don’t want to be the guy to pull this card, but I am dealing with the loss of both of my parents...” —[30:29]

• On the absurdity of shifting alliances:

  “Within the same shot, like, two feet away, you have Kim sobbing to Natalie, who she was just mad at…” —[34:29]

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Notable Timestamps

• Lisa & Marcus’ comic therapy session: [03:17–08:49]
• Audrey’s birthday montage & Taylor Swift jokes: [09:01–14:54]
• Party eruption and triangle drama: [15:05–29:58]
• Kim & Natalie unite in mutual exasperation (and lap dances!): [30:53–34:54]
• Host reflections on new VPR “Next Shift” and embracing the chaos: [36:39–37:10]

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Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: Sarcastic, referential, campy, but underpinned by real Bravo expertise and a clear affection for the show’s messiness.
• For Bravo fans: A must-listen for anyone who lives for the intersection of sincere emotion and reality TV camp—a pointed, loving roast of everything both maddening and lovable about Vanderpump Rules’ current era.
• For newcomers: Ben and Ronnie’s recaps deliver all the context and comic exaggeration you’d need to quickly catch up on this Bravo universe’s ever-evolving soap opera.

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Summary Compiled by:
Watch What Crappens Podcast Summarizer
December 2025

Transcript

[Heather]

Welcome to a moment of Zen with Virgin Voyages. As you know, the Real Housewives of Miami took a trip on a beautiful Virgin Voyages cruise this season.

[Bronwyn]

But everyone should get a chance to do that. You, me, and the ladies of Salt Lake City.

[Heather]

We're joining Heather and Bronwyn from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City as they stretch out at one of our complimentary group fitness classes. That's right. At Virgin Voyages, everything from Wi fi to wellness is included in your fare.

[Bronwyn]

No hidden fees, just pure relaxation and rejuvenation. Whether you're sailing to the Caribbean or the Mediterranean, you'll find plenty of ways to unwind. Now, let's see how Heather and Bronwyn are balancing their chakras.

[Heather]

Mm.

[Bronwyn]

Mm. Wow. Wow. Down, dog. Okay. Okay, Heather, I'm so glad we're taking this yoga class together.

[Heather]

As a sisterhood, it is our duty to not just show up for a downward dog, but be an upward prediction presence for all of each other.

[Bronwyn]

Okay, touch. Touch your toes. Okay, we're going down. We're going down. Okay. It's a little hard to do this. Could someone have told me not to wear an inflatable dinosaur today? Because that's making this a little bit difficult to reach my. My toes.

[Heather]

You know, as. As a sisterhood, we can come together and we can take this inflatable thing off of you. But just know that when we do this, we do this as a sisterhood together. And furthermore, I have written three books. Just want to throw that in there.

[Bronwyn]

What are you saying, Heather? What are you saying? Are you saying you would prefer me without my dinosaur costume? Well, I'm sorry, but I use these because I have trauma, and I'm just trying to make my husband happy at an airport. Well, excuse me for living, Heather.

[Heather]

I'm just trying to relax with my yoga. So if anyone doesn't mind, I will be distributing some copies of Bad Mormon to everyone to use as yoga blocks. Okay? Please enjoy.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, so now I'm a bad Mormon. Now I'm a bad Mormon. Oh, that's great. That's great. Oh, I suppose I'm a fraud and a con as well. Okay. Okay, great. Oh, what are you leaking? What are you leaking, Heather? Are you leaking my information?

[Heather]

I am doing nothing of the sort. This is a sisterhood, and really, all that I am concerned of is making sure I can stand on one leg in this beautiful yoga class. And I'm just going to meditate. Receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots, everything. Get me out of this thing. Namaste, folks. At Virgin Voyages. You get a perfect blend of relaxation and excitement. While we can't promise your your yoga sessions will be as eventful as Heather and Bronwyn's, we know you'll have a fabulous time.

[Bronwyn]

From luxurious amenities to breathtaking destinations, Virgin Voyages has it all. Make your next vacation truly unforgettable with us.

[Heather]

Visit virgin voyages.com or reach out to your travel advisor to start planning your dream cruise today.

[Bronwyn]

What.

[Heather]

Happens when there's so much that happens?

Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.

[Bronwyn]

So he's like, yeah, well, so he says bye to his dad. So that's the end of that. So then, sir, it's time for the big meeting with Lisa and Marcus. So he comes with flowers and he's like, oh my God, I'm just so nervous. The way she kicked me out, everything she was saying. I mean, am I going to get fired? Oh, oh, that's not.

[Heather]

I know I feeling squeezing. I know I'm on the razors. I know he has a little tears. He's doing like he's blinking really hard. I know I'm in the danger zone since I have that piss poor attitude at work. And I'm known as the surliest waiter in sir sort of matches, right? God, I really gotta fix my attitude before I lose this job. Oh, Marcus, the sweetest waiter of the staff. Get in here.

[Bronwyn]

Sweet boy.

[Heather]

You are here.

[Bronwyn]

Come over here. It's me. It's me, Lisa. Lisa, I don't see you. It's me over here. Darling. Are you in that box? I am now. Take that saw and start sawing. Lisa, I can't saw you. I'll kill you. Trust me, my dear little flower.

[Heather]

Boom.

[Bronwyn]

I'm in half. Now I'm whole again. Let's have a meeting, my little plum. Have a seat.

[Heather]

Well, Lisa, I came here, as everyone knows, I'm the biggest badass. And sir, which is why I brought you this bouquet of flowers. Oh, yes, thank you. This is very on brand for you, you sweet little boy.

[Bronwyn]

Although these are red. And if you look around, you can see I'm into pink roses. You bad little boy.

[Heather]

Yeah, I still got it. I still got it. I'm a rebel. Anyway, I know that last meeting wasn't the best and I'm trying to get a chance to apologize for that Because I know that I was totally out of line. Blink, blink, blink.

[Bronwyn]

I just didn't understand what's going on with you, you know, because you've been here for three years. You know better than that. Now, please, please, I see those beautiful wings of yours. Please show me where they're cracked so I can help you.

[Heather]

Show me your broken birdedness. He's like, well, I want to apologize. Something must be going on with you. Do you still want this job? Do you still want to walk around and marry ketchups to each other? He's like, of course I do. Yeah. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. The best thing because I've had a stormy past. Oh, I'm sensing a broken bird in my midst. Go on, please.

[Bronwyn]

Open your wounds to me. Bleed all over the table. He's like, okay, well, my parents are both dead. My dad died after Covid, and my mom died, too. Now I have nobody in the world. She's like, oh, damn.

[Heather]

That is a much more broken bird than I thought. That wing has been tattered.

[Bronwyn]

Both of your wings sawed off on the floor. And it's no magic trick. There they are, my unflying, dead parented little bird. Come to my bosom and let me hold you tight. Of course you're forgiven. Please let me fix you. Look deep into my eyes. Cry into my mouth. Cry right into my mouth. Her skin starts, like, getting really young. He's like.

[Heather]

She's like, oh, just like, swirling gold dust around her.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, yes.

How did it happen?

[Heather]

So it's actually. It's actually a very sad thing because he's talking about his parents being, you know, his parents died. And he says that the chapter in his life where his parents, you know, are alive is. Is over. And, like, Kim doesn't really understand this. And she's like, can you talk to Kim? Can you. Can you relate to her? Can she help? Is she throwing more plates at your head than usual? Or less? How is this acting out?

[Bronwyn]

Tell me any way I can blame this on the woman? Please, just give me a little bit of evidence. He's like, well, she can't understand, you know? And I, I, I try to tell her, you know, like, there's certain things that you're gonna want out of me as a boyfriend, and I'm just not capable of that right now, you know, because, like, I'm just, like, trying to be a normal person myself. And she's like, but she's on your side, believe it or not. She's on your side and she loves you. Just today she was saying he deserves to get. And he probably will get fired. And I'll laugh when he gets fired.

[Heather]

H. She took home a beautiful tray from the kitchen and said, I'm going to throw this at his head. And that's when I knew she's really on his side. Oh, yes. He's like, well, yeah, it's really hard. He goes, well, I want you to come back to your job, but I'm going to check on you and I'm going to set up free count grief counseling for you. You have to go to grief counseling because we have HR now. We do things differently now that it's after 2023.

[Bronwyn]

Yes, you're going to be in counseling. We have a lovely lady who will do something called Reiki on your forehead.

[Heather]

And he's like, okay, Casey Patel, get in here.

[Bronwyn]

Well, I'm not going to suspend Marcus. How could I? When a little birdie can't fly, do you just kick it out of the nest?

[Heather]

No.

[Bronwyn]

You drink their tears until they're dry of salt, and then you brush their feathers until they are ready to FL again.

[Heather]

You stick a little thumb depressor on that bird's bum and you wave the bird in the sky and you say, look, you're flying. You're flying until that bird believes it. So.

[Bronwyn]

And now I bid you adieu, Guillermo. Press the button. Press the button. The floor just opens.

[Heather]

Like.

Well, everyone, it's 4:02pm, not 4:00', clock, 4:02pm and we are four hours before Audrey's birthday, which starts at 602, apparently. So Audrey and her friend, she basically has her gaze and like, oh, my God, it's her birthday. It's her birthday. Yeah, girl. Yeah, girl. Yes. And then she, like, nearly crashes in her car into someone. She's like, I can't die my birthday. I haven't even listened to rihanna yet.

[Bronwyn]

I'm 22, everybody. It's so glamorous. I get to celebrate my birthday on a rooftop with my best friends. It's my Taylor Swift year.

[Heather]

Wait, why is 22 a Taylor Swift year? I know that this is going to aggravate people in the audience, but what is it about 22? Because isn't her song 16, not 22?

[Bronwyn]

Is she like Adele who just names everything after her ages? You know, when Adele started doing that, I was like, girl, you're going to regret that when you're 40. Taylor Swift. Solway 22 was released in 2013 as a single from her 2012 album God, there's so many numbers in this sentence celebrating the fun and freedom of being 22 years old.

[Heather]

No, here's why. Okay, I think that. I think, I think you're right. I think they started filming this show a long time ago. And in fact, Courtney from Two Judgy Girls has a theory that this show was like, ready to go. And then because of scandal like that bought the old cast an extra year of tv. But here, guess what? Taylor Swift's career began with her 2006 self titled album. But 2023 was famously dubbed the year of Taylor Swift and marked by her record breaking Eras Tour. So, God, 2023 really is significant on this show.

[Bronwyn]

Big one.

So she's excited it's her Taylor year and she's like, yeah, I don't usually do my things things for my birthday, but I turned 21 right when I move and I had no money, so I didn't do anything on my 21st birthday. So it's like a. You look at my birthday.

[Heather]

And she still has no money, but at least she can get someone to pay for a hotel for her aka Bravo. So they're like, oh, my God, like, it's 22. You're 22. Like, this is crazy. Wait, well, who's coming tonight? I don't know. Oh, by the way, Venus is coming. I think you're gonna love him because I love him. And I'm gonna manifest that you're gonna love him. And I know how to do that because he taught me about manifestation. He's a coach. He knows about the secrets. You know about the secret Secret. It's not just deodorant anymore.

[Bronwyn]

I would like to introduce a new character of the show named Faith. Oh, look at us writing our past wrongs. Faith is like, oh, my God. House 22. I'm the new Faith, everybody.

[Heather]

You got to have faith. So Audrey says, I think I would want to talk more with Chris because, like, I love his fashion sense and like, I like my fashion sense too. And I love a guy that can dress well. I really love his fashion sense and I really like mine. And I think our fashion senses really work well together. So I think, like, me and Chris, like, would be a thing.

[Bronwyn]

And she Sundays dating in LA is like a form of the Hunger Games. No, you're just hungry. It's like, it's called starvation. Okay, yeah, like, let's not try to make it cute.

[Heather]

I feel like I'm in survival mode, like, at all times. Like, I decided to join a run club because, like, that's how bad it got. I was so desperate to meet a guy that I joined a run club. I like. I don't know, like, maybe a coworker isn't is the way to go now.

[Bronwyn]

So she gets ready in the hotel and talks about Chris and she's telling her friend, oh, my God. We, like, talked about ice cream for a really long time the other day. Look at the flashback. So we see two days earlier, and Chris is like, I'm hot. I feel like I'm in hell. And she's like, we need to serve ice cream. And he goes, yeah, like some cookies and cream. And she's like, no, some cookie dough. And he goes, or even mint chocolate chip. And she's like, oh, my God. And he goes, yeah. And I love toothpaste. And I feel like toothpaste and ice cream is so good.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Bronwyn]

She's like, I love him.

[Heather]

She's a mature 21. I just want to remind everyone she's a mature 21.

And he's immature 31. So the fuck was this conversation?

[Bronwyn]

And you're like, oh, my God. A guy who likes ice cream. No, he doesn't like ice cream. That's why he's brushing his teeth, because that's what people do when they don't want to eat ice cream. If you don't want to eat something sweet, you're supposed to brush your teeth because it makes everything you eat after taste disgusting. So she's like talking about how much he loves ice cream, and he's talking about diet culture. Girl, this is not your man.

[Heather]

If people are like hating on this show, just watch this scene of them talking about ice cream and tell me you still hate the show because it's amazing. I'm sorry. It's amazing. So she's like, if I can talk about ice cream with someone, and then the friend goes, then you can talk about anything. I think that's a pretty low bar. I think most people actually enjoy talking about ice cream. I'm just gonna say that right now.

[Bronwyn]

So then Venus arrives at the blandery and meets Natalie and Sydney there. And Natalie's like, oh, my God, I'm so excited for you to get an airbrush tan. It's gonna be amazing. Yeah.

[Heather]

And Venus is like, yeah, I haven't had a spray tan since like prom. In high school. We see a picture of Venus at prom, and so then they are like.

[Bronwyn]

Orange taking just hell.

[Heather]

Yeah. So they're doing spray tan everything. And Venus is like, all right, body. She's like, I'm literally putting My hair net on before my clothes are off. It's hilarious. You know, I do love my tits, and I could get free fake ones from my dad if I wanted to, but I haven't yet. I don't know. Never say never. Yeah.

[Bronwyn]

I cannot wait to see what season two of this cast looks like. They're all gonna look nuts.

[Heather]

She's gonna have both.

[Bronwyn]

I guarantee the lifts and everything starts. They're all gonna look crazy.

[Heather]

Natalie will have her face full of fillers. Like, her lips. I guarantee her upper lip is going to be touching, like, the middle of her nose. It'll be just, like, all puffed up. I guarantee it. Yeah, so Venus, they basically just talk about spray tans. And then he's like. He's like, oh, my God, look at my ass. Like, if anyone wants to know how I got my ass, it's Tostino, pizza rolls and Hot Pockets. One box of Hot Pockets, and my ass is clapping. I'm not playing.

[Bronwyn]

So then Natalie is like, yeah, well, I'm excited to spend time with Audrey because, like, I've only really seen her the last week at work besides the Belmont. But, like, I was not having a good day that day.

[Heather]

Oh, really? I respect what Kim's saying about you not wanting to talk to Marcus, but at the same time, he's, like, over there, like, me and you are like sister and brother and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, like, what is the truth? Am I right?

[Bronwyn]

She's like, yeah, well, I've known Kim for two years, and I've done nothing but show her that I'm a good, considerate friend. So, like, whatever. And now for her to act like she can't trust me being friends with her boyfriend, like, literally, I couldn't hide a thought if I tried it. So, like, if I really wanted to try and steal your man, like, everyone at sir would know.

[Heather]

So Natalie's like, yeah, and I understand. She's, like, insecure because they break up every other week. I get that. But I don't need to suffer the consequences of you guys fighting all the time. I have my own going on.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, but let's just forget about that and, like, have a sweet ass time at Audrey's birthday party tonight because she's turning 22. That's her Taylor Swift year.

[Heather]

Oh, really? I still feel 22. I'm sort of like, I still feel like I'm in my. My Taylor Swift year.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, I still feel 15.

[Heather]

Touche. Touche.

[Bronwyn]

So now we go to the Cocoa Club, and Marcus and Shane meet Natalie and Demi and Venus. And so Marcus is like, oh, my God. So basically they're just arriving and getting drinks, and they're all, like, dressed fancy, which is so cute to see their Amazon fancy clothes caught up. I never thought I missed being, like, 22 until I watch a show.

[Heather]

Mm.

[Bronwyn]

It looks so.

[Heather]

So Demi is telling Marcus that Kim. Kimberly just called me. She's pulling up right now, so be nice. He's like, I'll be as nice as I can be. But I think we all know I'm pretty much the asshole of the cast. Am I right? Am I right? Can I take your jacket for you? Okay.

[Bronwyn]

Thanks.

[Heather]

Are you cold? Dropped my jacket.

[Bronwyn]

Well, Marcus likes to make Kim mad, and when she gets mad, he gets mad. And he's always, like, talking about, like, I love Latina fire, but, like, I just feel like he's creating a random friendship with Natalie because he loves to push her buttons. So I love that this is the big controversy. Like, is he really friends with Natalie, or are they just trying to piss Kim off? It's like a big conspiracy where they're going to be pretend to be friends just to make Kim cry a lot. I know.

[Heather]

So Kim shows up with her friend McKenna, because, of course, we have to have a McKenna circling this cast.

[Bronwyn]

She's for a DJ, sir. Give her some respect on her name. Okay.

[Heather]

Yeah, put some respect on her spins. DeMarcus is like, oh, my God, Demi. The meeting I just had with Lisa. I get there, I walk in, I've got roses. I'm, like, ready for her to be pissed still, because of course she would be. I'm the bad boy of sir. Yeah, totally. And, like, none of that. The flowers worked like a pro. He's like, so she's like, are you not fired? It's like, no, I'm not even fired. I'm not even suspended. It's crazy because I've got such a bad attitude all the time.

[Bronwyn]

Like, oh, my God, you are so annoying. Any other boss would have suspended or fired you a long time ago. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

So now they're like, oh, my God, where's Audrey? Where's Audrey? Where is Audrey? And Kim goes, I mean, Audrey is 22. I don't even remember being 20. She said, like.

[Heather]

Kim's like, oh, my God. Like, I don't even remember what. It's like, I can't believe she's 23. And it's like, Audrey's 22. She's like, I Don't even remember what that's like.

[Bronwyn]

She goes, oh, my God. Who turns 22? Oh, no, it's not Demi who says that. She's like, who turns 22?

[Heather]

It's hard to keep track of the inane things these people say that some. At a certain point, they're like.

You all need to shut up. So then Natalie. So people walk up, and so Kim is there, but she's like. She's, like, not saying hi to Marcus, and Marcus isn't saying hi to her, but she's, like, lingering behind Marcus in case he wants to say hi.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah.

[Heather]

And Natalie is like, oh, my God, look, we're all wearing green and red. That's hilarious. And Kim's like, I'm feeling really anxious tonight because Marcus can be so unpredictable. After we have a fight a couple days later, he can be like, hey, babe. Or he can just, like, not talk to me and, like, hate my guts. And it's like, once my. Once his mom passed, Marcus was no longer himself. Like, well, it's not like it's. It's not like, oh, once his mom sent him, like, a gift in the mail. Like, that's kind of a big deal. Kim. His mom died.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to say that, Kim. And this is coming from someone who says a lot of horrid. But I don't even think. I don't think you're allowed to be like, oh, my God. After his mom passed, he's like, he's totally different now.

[Heather]

I know. I think you should. I think you're supposed to tend to the person who's grieving. Oh, my God. Like, how crazy. He's, like, crying all the time. So bed.

[Bronwyn]

So they're talking about their shoes and blah, blah, blah, and how cold it is because they're on a roof and it's freezing. As we established earlier in the episode, like, they got on a group on a roof.

[Heather]

Yeah. So then Natalie is talking about Demi. Natalie's talking to Venus. And Natalie's like, oh, my God. Demi's ignoring me so hard. Demi's like, okay, well, don't talk to her now. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. It's very confusing. She's talking to. Natalie's talking to Demi, who previously was mad at her, but now Natalie's talking to Demi to say that Kim isn't ignoring her so hard.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, but I'm trying to be nice to her. She goes, well, she doesn't want you to be nice. She wants you to, like, leave her alone. Like, you can find it annoying if you want to.

[Heather]

That's so rude. I mean, I just gotta spray tan.

[Bronwyn]

But you can ignore me. Yeah, but you have to respect that she doesn't want to talk to you. That's just how it is.

[Heather]

I think I'm walking away.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, really? Where are you going? We're on a roof.

I love that. Natalie tries to storm out, but they're in, like, within 10 square feet. She's like, I am leaving, okay? I can't leave. I cannot leave. I will fall to my death. So I will just stand here.

[Heather]

So then Audrey shows up and they all cheer. She's like, oh, my God, thank you guys for cheering for me, even though I know you all hate me because of all the drama that I'm in. Right, guys? All the storylines. Right, right?

[Bronwyn]

She's like, I want to make a cheers to everybody. Thank you so much for coming. Everyone party their hearts out. Yes. Manifestation. And so, yeah, this is where to me is like, oh, my God. I had no idea she was turning 22. Like, who turns 22? It's, like, so unfair.

[Heather]

Hey, Chris, did you go surfing today? He's like, yeah, when are we gonna go surfing? I can teach you because you're a mature 21. I mean, 22. When I get on the wave.

[Bronwyn]

He's like, what are you going to teach me, though? She's like, I can teach you how to ride a horse. You want to ride a horse? Because I have a horse. Yeah, I have one. Like, she's named Oreo, and she's definitely not black and white. Just kidding. She totally is.

[Heather]

Classic misdirect.

Oreo is my best friend, Mary Faith. Childhood.

[Bronwyn]

What?

[Heather]

Oreo.

That sentence alone is my favorite thing. Oreo is my best friend Mary Faith's childhood horse.

Mary Faith. So it turns out her name is not Faith, it's Mary Faith. Yeah, I started helping her out because I. It was something I did a lot back home. And she was just like, I know you'd like to ride. And that's, like, really helped me in my first year in LA. Like, I haven't ridden since 2023. It's crazy.

[Bronwyn]

Horses are, like, so expensive to maintain. Like, me. Like, girl, you don't even have a comb. Stop it. And Chris is like, well, where's your horse? She goes, malibu Mountains. He goes, sick. That's sick.

[Heather]

As she's like, yeah, it's not your horse. It's Mary Faith's horse. Why is she taking credit for this horse that does not belong to her? She. This girl is acting like she has a horse in Malibu. I love this grift that's already setting in.

[Bronwyn]

I think she's very encouraging. I think she does have one because we see the previews of them riding horse.

[Heather]

So that Mary Faith horse, That's Oreo. That's Oreo. That's Mary Faith's horse.

[Bronwyn]

But didn't she say. Oh, so she's just. Well, she said it was Mary Faith's horse, right? What do I care about this?

[Heather]

Did Mary Faith gift her a horse because she took care of Oreo so well?

[Bronwyn]

Does Mary Faith, like, live at home in Texas? And Mary Faith is just here for the party and she's like, you take my horse because I can't deal with Oreo right now. I've got college or whatever. She's like, I'll take. I'll take Oreo.

[Heather]

Mary Faith, Mary Faith is her new LA friend. And Mary Faith is so impressed with Audrey's horse tending skills, Then Mary Faith is like, guess what? Oreo is yours now. Oreo's lady.

[Bronwyn]

So that's just.

[Heather]

That's my assumption.

[Bronwyn]

Oreo. Okay?

[Heather]

That's my assumption.

[Bronwyn]

Actually, she said it was.

[Heather]

That it's Mary Faith's.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, she said it's Mary Faith's childhood horse. So she does say that. But I read because I. I'm kind of dyslexic. So I read like, Oreo is my childhood best friend. Mary Faith's horse. But it's not. Oreo is my best friend. Mary Faith's childhood.

[Heather]

I take it that she has all access privileges to Oreo.

[Bronwyn]

Yes, I think so too, because she.

[Heather]

Is, like, good friends with Mary Faith and she takes care of the horse well, because she's from Texas. It all makes sense.

[Bronwyn]

So.

[Heather]

So then Natalie walks up to Shane Davis. And Natalie's like, hey, Shane, do you have your phone? It's important. Can you look up something? And Marcus like, oh, yeah. What were you saying to Shane? Can you let Shane finish his goddamn thought? Such a bad boy. What was that about? I don't know. Amplified.

[Bronwyn]

I don't know. Super weird. So Shane's like, oh. And he goes, sorry, I didn't mean it like that. She goes, well, I didn't even know if we're friends or not. So, like, sorry. On the other side of the bar, Kim's like, oh, my God, how long have they been talking, Venus? And he's like, who? Who? Who do you think? He goes, I don't know. She goes, oh, my gosh. Hold on. I'm going over there. Because Natalie is talking to my man.

[Heather]

So just to summarize, at the moment, Natalie wants to look up something on Shane's phone, and Marcus is like, let him finish his thought. And Natalie's like, what the. So Kim has seen this, and Kim is like, oh, my God. Natalie and Marcus are talking. This goes to show that they're fucking. So now we go back to their conversation, and Marcus is like, what I'm trying to say is, between Demi and Kimberly, I'm just. I'm up against that, man. I'm up against Demi and Kimberly all the time, bro.

[Bronwyn]

And that was like, well, you see how that sucks for me, right? So whatever. So Kim comes up, and she's like, do you want to talk about something together or not? She goes, yeah, I would love to, because I was trying to talk to you earlier, and I felt like you were ignoring me.

[Heather]

I wasn't ignoring you, but I was feeling how I feel.

[Bronwyn]

Okay, let's go talk then. Just, like, don't hit me or something. Okay. Like. Because I don't want to be, like, attacked. Yeah.

[Heather]

Okay, let's sit over here. Okay, we're sitting now. Okay. Do you know how Marcus and I's relationship is like, our. You know, we're like, so on the outs, and, like, I don't want to call you out on things, but, like, you've texted him, which he's told me, and he's like, you've been saying things like, how's your day? Like, what's going on? Go by the pool. And here are heels that I bought. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Bronwyn]

What? What?

[Heather]

Yeah, he told me these things.

[Bronwyn]

No, no, I said something about heels because he talks about you so highly to me.

[Heather]

But, like, when he talked to me about that, it's in, like, a just so you know, Natalie texted me kind of way.

[Bronwyn]

Well, that's not very nice, because he's talking you up, and he's like, you need to get on your heel game because Kimberly's heels are like this and like that. So I buy these heels, and I thought of you, and so I was like, look, I bought heels.

[Heather]

It was aspirational. Kim, heels all this time.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, my God, you guys. We were just talking about how we should glorify Kim more.

[Heather]

So the producer. Producer asked Kim, has she seen the text? And she's like, no, but Mark has told me about them. So she's mad about tech she hasn't even seen yet.

[Bronwyn]

And Natalie says, well, I didn't even send a picture of shoes. I didn't even do that. All I said was. I just bought some heels. Hope you're proud of me. Like, sorry if that's inappropriate. I'm a. Okay. I don't know what to tell you.

[Heather]

Oh, my God. It is disgusting to me. This is disgusting. She's ridiculous.

[Bronwyn]

But to be fair, Natalie, she thinks this because you already cheated with somebody else's boyfriend. Like, you're. You already dated Demi's boyfriend. So it's probably where she's. This is coming from. Natalie's just like, where is this coming from? And she's okay, but he won't admit to what he's saying to me in front of you. So why am I getting called out? Not him, then?

[Heather]

Oh, my God. Venus here. This situation. Marcus needs to say what it is. Right, girls?

[Bronwyn]

So Natalie's like, oh, my God, didn't you just tell me? Blah, blah, blah. And then he's like, well, why does she think that you guys are BFFs? Because that's weird. Do you know what I mean? Like, can we just talk about the fake friendship?

[Heather]

Whoa. You both said to that to me, and I brought it up to him, and he's been like, I've never said that.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, God. So Venus is like, oh, my God. Marcus and Kim make me feel like I'm in constant psychosis. Like, he tells people what they want to hear, and then he doesn't realize that the epidemiology of the mystical secret, like, he really needs to get his bio form in shape. You know what I'm saying? So Marcus comes over. He's like, what do you want from me? And they're like, did you not tell me that? I never said that. Natalie and I were like sister and brother. And he's like, well, what I said was possibly about to get arrested because I'm really a fucking rebel. Natalie is the one that's brought up several times that she feels like me and her brother and sister, even though I've said it twice today already said that.

[Heather]

And Venus is like, I know you're lying.

[Bronwyn]

So we see flashback to two days earlier, and Marcus is like, me and Natalie are really friends. We're like brothers and sisters.

[Heather]

I literally watched you go up to the bar and tell Natalie that you were like brother and sister. Marcus is like, you know what? I'm too much of a rebel for this. I'm getting up and I'm leaving.

[Bronwyn]

What is this fight? What is this fight?

[Heather]

It's so stupid.

[Bronwyn]

And that was like, yeah, it's crazy. He said it multiple times. I basically said, I'm insistent Her. Well, Marcus is an idiot, and he should know better than to say that Natalie is like a sister to him, because I feel like if Kim thinks that when most guys say that, it's usually because they want to this person, but they can't. What, so we all want to our sister? What the hell? That doesn't even make sense. When guys say she's like my sister, that doesn't mean they want to him, does it?

[Heather]

Is that.

[Bronwyn]

Is that a straight thing?

[Heather]

I don't know. I mean, I think I, I. I don't know. It's like reverse psychology at this point. It's all. The fight is like, is it about shoes? Is it about who? What is this fight about?

[Bronwyn]

I just have to say to Natalie, natalie, I am prepared to go to war for you against these men. I've been watching Vanderpump Rules and Bravo since the beginning of time, way before 2023, if you can believe it. And I know that these men on these shows are pieces of. I am ready to stand for you, but I need more than this. Yeah, I need more.

[Heather]

So Kim is like, so just so you know, Natalie, the person that you're defending your friendship with, this is how he sees you. So now. So now it's turned from Kim being mad at Natalie because she feels like Natalie's coming from her man. Now she's like, see, he's actually the piece of. And we're actually friends now, and he's saying that you're the one who's acting like you're. You're platonic, but he's the one who's been saying you're platonic. See, you're in love with my man, and he doesn't even love you back. You should be mad at him.

What the hell?

[Bronwyn]

So he's like, I don't want to be the guy to pull this card, but I am dealing with the loss of both of my parents. And, like, every day, I'm just looking for happiness, you know? And for me to sit here and pretend like I give a about what they're talking about. I don't. And Kimberly should know that. So, Venus, listen. I don't love people playing dead parents card, but it's. It's a card that you can't. Like, you played it, then I can't say anything. You know what I mean? Like, okay, yeah, back off.

[Heather]

It's a good card.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, I'm back in card.

[Heather]

Yeah. So Venus is like, oh, my God. The girls need to stick together and be strong because he is out here running his mouth. And meanwhile, he is creating this, like, the discord. So now Kim and Natalie are holding hands. They've gone from being mad at each other holding hands. And Venus is like, kim puts up with a lot more from that man than I ever would. I mean, me and Marcus are best friends, but I'm about to talk about him big time to all of America because he doesn't care about her or her feelings. And when we got eight months of that, it's starting to become too much. The only logical explanation is that Marcus must have some bomb dick, which I think is probably actually true. That does have to explain a lot of this. Right?

[Bronwyn]

Okay, so let's see what else is happening.

[Heather]

Shane is holding Natalie. Shane is like, hey, has anyone told you that you like the most beautiful eyes you just got? Shane Davis.

[Bronwyn]

So McKenna is. Who's McKenna?

[Heather]

She's. Don't you remember McKenna? She came in with Kim. Oh.

[Bronwyn]

So she's like, oh, my God. Tell me right now. Tell me right now, Marcus, do you love that girl? And he's like, I'm falling out of love. I'm falling out of it. And she goes, why? And he's like, because she's not the girl I thought she was. And Demi's like, marco, stop talking. Okay. Why are you still talking? And so he starts whispering, and Kim's like, I can hear everything you were just saying, just so you know, because I've been standing right behind you this whole time.

[Heather]

So now she's upset because she. Because he said that he's falling out of love. So now she. Now she goes up to Natalie, the girl she was beefing with at, like, five minutes ago. She's. Can I seal you? Can I feel you?

[Bronwyn]

So start sobbing to her. And Natalie's like, I hate that Kim is crying, but I. I don't hate that she's crying to me. You can lay your head on my boons, and I'll on my boobs and I'll pet your hair and give you a little head scratches all night long, if that's what you want.

[Heather]

So now. Now the cake is coming out and everything. And so they're like, lap dance time. And so now the. The cousins are like.

[Bronwyn]

He tries to pull the gay guy. The. Go. The gay friend thing where he's like, do you want to lap dance? Because you're about to get one from your gay friend. And then the real strippers come and just push him out of the way. They're like, no, s. We've actually got trained meat here, sir. Okay.

[Heather]

Yes. So they start grinding on. On Audrey, and he's like. And Chris is like, it's Audrey's birthday, so we want to do something a little special for her. I had to bring out my alter ego, Axelrod thrusting. That's just my go to. That's an Axelrod move, you know, for special occasions. I'm like, you know who else does the thrusting move? Every other male stripper. Congratulations.

[Bronwyn]

Literally everybody does this, but can I just say, just. Just to, you know, critique the stripping, because we have to kind of have to. We're here.

Amazing. Oh, my God. When he. Okay, so he did that thing where he, like, flips over her and then like, wraps his legs around her knees, I guess, and then he opens his whole. I mean, that guy is talented. I don't.

[Heather]

Thank you for showing craft.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, I mean, he's amazing, though. I considered it. I'm not gonna lie. I was like, maybe I can download this. Only fans. Because, man, the last time I even considered that was when Dorinda started having a cooking show on there years ago when.

[Heather]

When only fans was trying to be. Have, like, non sexy times.

[Bronwyn]

Yeah, they're like, we're not just dick, We're. Or boobs. We're also Dorinda cooking or whatever.

[Heather]

So the cousin strippers are, like, grinding on Audrey, and she's, like, having the best time of her life. And literally within the same shot, like, two feet away, you have Kim sobbing to. To Natalie, who she was just mad at, and she's like, I mean, we could be at our worst, and I will always show up for him, and I make sure he feels supported and loved. And if you can see that I'm doing everything I'm doing for you. Although he's like, honestly, like, like, like, I'm sorry. Like, ever since his mom died, like, he's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

[Bronwyn]

I'm sorry.

[Heather]

Like, talk to somebody. Like, but to say to somebody that you've fallen out of love for me, when all I do is yell at you and, like, treat you like. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't understand this.

[Bronwyn]

Just this girl screaming and yelling. It's the best night of her life.

[Heather]

But Marcus is like, oh, quote, unquote, you're a liar. All right, I'm a liar. Now what? Now what, guys? God. Got her. So Kim's, like, hearing Marcus say that he was falling out of love with me was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to hear, given how much of myself that I put aside for him. All Those months going all the way back to 2023. God, it feels like this is the moment where I just have to give up.

[Bronwyn]

But you won't. Bet you won't. So. God, what an annoying couple. Geez.

[Heather]

I know. The episode ends on that note. Like, oh, God, I hope they get back together, said no one. America, watching the TV show, we don't care about you yet. No care about you.

[Bronwyn]

But this was a funny, funny episode, especially for a number two. So a number two episode. Not a poop. So good for this show.

[Heather]

It's a funny show. I'm liking it.

[Bronwyn]

I'm.

[Heather]

I'm in it. I'm feeling it. I hope other people can come around, too.

[Bronwyn]

So we can't control what other people do. So you know what? You can't enjoy what I enjoy. You guys enjoy what you enjoy, okay? But if you want to hear people enjoying this, come back. We'll be enjoying it.

[Heather]

All I've got to say is, if you're someone out there who's like, I secretly love the McBee dynasty, but then with this show, you're like, this is. This is garbage. I want to just tell you, please reconsider your priorities. Thank you very much.

[Bronwyn]

Why do you have to turn in this into.

[Heather]

Because I'm just saying, if you have. If you're going to open.

[Bronwyn]

Your boys aren't even on this show.

[Heather]

Because if you're willing to open your heart up for the McBees, I say open your heart up for new Vanderpump Rules as well. Well, it just.

[Bronwyn]

Did you see that they're calling it. I saw. I think on like, a preview or something, like a commercial on tv, they were calling it Vanderpump Rules, the next shift.

[Heather]

Yeah. They say, well, it's time for a new shift. Yes.

[Bronwyn]

Oh, is that what it is? I saw Vanderpump Rules.

[Heather]

It's time for a new shift.

[Bronwyn]

Well, time.

[Heather]

They say it's time for a shift. Yeah, it's super fun.

[Bronwyn]

All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow with some Southern charm. Everybody, we'll talk to you later.

[Heather]

Adios. Bye. Watch what? Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

[Bronwyn]

Our way is the Amber Way.

[Heather]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly.

[Bronwyn]

Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss our call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Heather]

Erin McNicholas she don't miss no tricholas Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less.

[Bronwyn]

Namey she's our kind of mess It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica.

[Heather]

Trotch she's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

[Bronwyn]

Kristen the Piston Anderson Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacy B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a DAISY It's Maisie McHenry Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the.

[Heather]

Berg this is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Bronwyn]

I love Aya Olivia Williamson she sure is swell It's Raquel yes, we canna It's Savannah.

[Heather]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman let's.

[Bronwyn]

Share with Sharon Eldredge Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.

[Heather]

Lopez.

[Bronwyn]

She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Heather]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Bronwyn]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Heather]

Let'S get real with Caitlin o' Neal.

[Bronwyn]

Put us on a stretcher It's Charlotte Fletcher don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal with a out.

[Heather]

The Emily sides who, what, why, where And Gwen Pentland let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish My Favorite Murdo Karen.

[Bronwyn]

McMurdo She's a total knockout It's Katie.

[Heather]

Manock in the study with a candlestick It's Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Lisa Ryder Baron she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthi always killing it It's Lola Al.

[Bronwyn]

Kalani the incredible edible Matthews sisters She eases our woes it's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca.

[Heather]

Cloud Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee It's Sarah Lemke we.

[Bronwyn]

Cannot tell a lie It's Sarah tell.

[Heather]

Of son Shannon out of a cannon Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[Bronwyn]

She ain't no shrinking violet.

[Heather]

Coutar.

[Bronwyn]

We love you guys.

If you like watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.