#3122 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens #3122 – Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode: #3122 – Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 1: Venus Try Trap
Date: December 18, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie dive headfirst into the third episode of Vanderpump Rules Season 12, relishing the “lazy Susan of awfulness” among the new SUR staffers. The hosts playfully analyze shifting alliances, classic restaurant drama, and the emerging icons and villains of the new cast, reveling in the mix of pettiness, toxic relationships, and low-stakes scandals that epitomize the show. This recap is filled with sharp banter, in-character impressions, and strong opinions, making it both a loving roast and a pointed critique of all things Vanderpump.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reboot's Energy & Nostalgia

• Both hosts express surprise and approval at how quickly they’ve become invested in the new cast’s dramas—even after just three episodes.
  • Ben: "I'm actually already teetering towards love. I was so entertained by this stupid episode." (02:19)
• They praise the show’s return to restaurant-centric storylines that made classic VPR, noting real scenes of work at SUR and believable staff dynamics.
  • Ronnie: "They're showing a lot of the restaurant stuff, which I really like... I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against, like, one person at a time." (05:32)

2. Cast Introductions & First Impressions

• Venus: Celebrated and mocked as the delusional “queen bee of SUR”, complete with childhood memoirs and unshakable self-confidence.
  • Ronnie (quoting Venus): "I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade." (04:21)
  • The hosts flag Venus’ delusion as a quintessential VPR hallmark.
• Kim & Marcus: The “toxic couple” whose on-again-off-again drama ensnares the rest of the cast.
  • Ben: "They're toxic and awful... a couple that drags everyone into their drama." (04:41)
• Angelica: New hostess with Taekwondo skills and a pratfall entrance during the staff photo shoot, setting her up as both lovable and potentially doomed.
  • Ben (about Lisa hiring Angelica): "She’s gorgeous, she’s lovable, she’s flexible. She put her angle behind her head, right in the interview. Oh, God." (16:30)

3. The Infamous SUR Photo Shoot (06:29–23:00)

• Hilarity ensues as the staff prepare for a photo shoot, with the hosts riffing on the “legendary” status of SUR’s wall photos and the slightly less salacious direction of this season’s shoot.
  • Lisa Vanderpump impression: “I remember what it used to be... Nobody had any clothes on.” (11:22)
• Guillermo and Lisa banter about menu “innovations” and the carefully curated staff. Their exaggerated politeness about whether people should disrobe for photos is sent up as classic Bravo hypocrisy.
  • Guillermo: "...if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six pack, I won’t stop you." (12:58)
• Kim & Marcus show up acting affectionate after their previous explosive fight, confusing and annoying their coworkers.
  • Natalie: “They literally get off on, like, screaming at each other.” (14:56)
• Angelica’s literal fall introduces her warmly into the group—in a move the hosts predict will make her a target.
  • Ben: "She’ll be destroyed. She’ll be ground to a pulp." (16:04)

4. The Lazy Susan of Awfulness: Toxic Relationships & Gay Sidekick Syndrome (22:04–29:13)

• The hosts deeply analyze Venus’ frustration with Kim and Marcus’s toxic cycle, relating it to a classic “gay best friend” narrative.
  • Ben: "As a gay, you’re often put in the Sidekick position... You have a plan, you’ve got the bullet points... and they just get back together. What about all that work?" (23:20)
  • Ronnie: "It’s extremely immature. And it’s so weird to be mad at people for getting back together." (22:59)
  • They agree it's unhealthy to get repeatedly involved with toxic people's drama, even as it makes incredible TV.
    • Ben: "You gotta look inward and say, why am I going back to this couple that's toxic..." (27:09)
    • Ronnie: "Absolutely lazy Susan. Lazy Susan of awfulness." (29:03)

5. Classic Vanderpump Confrontations & Circling Arguments (29:23–33:30)

• The cast’s petty conflicts spiral: Venus gets accused of over-involvement, Natalie wants affirmation as a “true friend”, and Kim tries to drag others into her issues.
  • Ben: “This show is good because they are now all latching themselves onto this... It’s a gravitational pull.” (30:30)
• Demi enters and escalates tensions, refusing to hear her own name. The hosts lampoon the self-centeredness.
  • Ben: "She’s like, I don’t want to hear you say my name today. So just, like, don’t say it even if you're saying it, like, in a good way. Like, I do not want to hear it. Like, I'm so serious." (32:19)
• Lisa and Guillermo play the voices of faux calm, breaking the fourth wall by reminding everyone there's a photo shoot to finish.

6. Shane & Natalie: Rock Climbing Date and Sharing War Wounds (34:16–43:41)

• Shane and Natalie go rock climbing, with Shane eager to showcase his “player with a heart of gold” persona while Natalie is only half-impressed.
  • Shane: "Safety is crack, guys. Emotional safety. Yeah, I’m an evolved guy, but I also work out a lot." (37:07)
• Natalie opens up about her scoliosis and back surgery, making jokes about her 24 screws and suggesting she’ll live on through her “hardware.”
  • Natalie: “If I’m ever cremated... there’s going to be like 24 people in this world who'll be able to, like, use my screws. And that’s just like a beautiful thing...” (40:03–40:18)
• Shane one-ups her with a tale about being shot three times by a friend over a modeling contract, adding tattoos as evidence and somehow spinning the trauma into a flex.
  • Shane: "Yeah, man, I got shot. I was paralyzed. I rehabbed myself back, and I was still hot. Still got it, man." (42:05)
  • Ben & Ronnie: Mercilessly roast the story, questioning its plausibility and laughing about models fighting with weapons.

7. More Staff Drama: Texts & Betrayals (45:29–50:44)

• Venus, feeling betrayed, shares a catty exchange of texts with Marcus—calling out Marcus and Kim’s “clown-ass relationship”.
  • Venus: "I don’t want to hear about your clown ass relationship from you or Kim. Y’all just look stupid as fuck. There, I said it." (47:26)
• Kim and Marcus react to Venus’s condemnation, with Marcus admitting he started the fight but blaming Venus for escalating.
  • Ben: "Marcus literally started this. You can’t be like, I admit I did write the first text, but his text was worse, so he really started it." (49:27)
• The hosts deliberate over who (if anyone) to root for, with Ronnie concluding: "I’m not going to be on anybody’s side. But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation." (50:44)

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• Ben (on the new season): "I'm fully committed. I was so entertained by this stupid episode. It was just what I needed." (02:19)
• Ronnie (on restaurant authenticity): "I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against, like, one person at a time. It's just so fun." (05:32)
• Venus (quoted by Ronnie): "I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade." (04:21)
• Ben (on Kim & Marcus): "They're toxic and awful... a couple that drags everyone into their drama." (04:41)
• Ronnie (on being the gay sidekick): "It's extremely immature. And it's so weird to be mad at people for getting back together." (22:59)
• Ben: "You gotta look inward and say, why am I going back to this couple that's toxic over and over and over again... Just let her cry on the curb like everyone else and enjoy a bacon wrapped hot dog." (27:09)
• Ronnie: "Absolutely lazy Susan. Lazy Susan of awfulness." (29:03)
• Lisa Vanderpump (impression): "[Back in the day] nobody had any clothes on." (11:22)
• Guillermo (impression): "...if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six pack, I won’t stop you." (12:58)
• Ben (on Shane’s trauma tale): "That is. You know, it's such a. It's actually a very scary story, but it's also such a stupid story... Like, are you in, like, west side Story?" (43:13)
• Ronnie (on whose side to take): "But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation." (50:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:19 – Ben’s wholehearted embrace of the new VPR reboot
• 04:21 – Venus’s self-mythologizing recapped
• 06:29–23:00 – The SUR photo shoot and recruiting Angelica
• 22:04–29:13 – The “toxic couple” cycle and the plight of being the gay best friend
• 29:23–33:30 – Group argument escalates (Venus, Marcus, Kim, Natalie, Demi)
• 34:16–43:41 – Shane and Natalie rock climbing, sharing personal trauma/stories
• 45:29–50:44 – Text fight between Marcus and Venus, shifting alliances
• 50:44 – Ronnie’s final stance: “not on anybody’s side”

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Watch What Crappens—equal parts hilarious take-down and affectionate nostalgia for messy, low-stakes reality TV. The hosts highlight the joys of wading into “awfulness,” acknowledge their own complicity as invested fans, and delight in the show’s return to in-restaurant mayhem. Their segment-by-segment breakdown spotlights the hallmark pettiness, delusion, and unstable alliances that make Vanderpump Rules so entertaining. The podcast is a must-listen (or read) for fans who want to revel in Bravo's most gloriously dysfunctional workplace.

Transcript

[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

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[Ben]

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[Ronnie]

Because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more.

[Ben]

Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right [e-mail] crappens that's hillspet.com crappens. Watch what happens. Watch what? Crapping. Who cares what happens when there's so much what happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?

[Ronnie]

Well, hello and welcome to what's what Crappens. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, Banoons.

[Ben]

Hi Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie]

Good. It's Vanderpump Rules day, so we're very excited. Monday will be our last Amazon Live. Join us at 4pm Pacific Time on Amazon Live. You can find that link in our link in bio over on Instagram.

[Natalie]

So do it. Do it.

[Ronnie]

This week we had Angela. Angela Roman. Allison Roman, the famous chef who I call Angela for some reason, we're just so close. I just started calling her Angela. Angie for sure. So our joke, it was really fun talking to her. Join us. You can go listen to that at crappy hour this week. And our Christmas movie with the reality gaze this year will be a four part recap of my Secret Santa on Netflix. So probably save yourself some sanity and don't watch it, but listen to it because it's really fun times. And Today, Vanderpump Rules Season 12 Episode 3 Crash Out Queensland Whoa.

[Ben]

Whoa. I've gotta say, I'm. I'm. Last week I was like, I think I like the reboot. And this week I'm like, I'm fully committed. I'm like in it. I, I not only like it, I was like, I'm actually already teetering towards love. I was so entertained by this stupid episode. It was just what I needed. Stupid back and Forth about. You said this and then this, and then she texted this. You got like a toxic couple. You've got, like, you got, you know, an angry about, say, a toxic queen. I was gonna say an angry gay. It just. It's so silly. It's so stupid. And it's like. I'm just surprised that it's only three episodes old. I feel like I'm actually already, like. I feel like I'm already in it. I'm in the trenches. And I'm not saying this because I went to the Vanderbump Rules thing last week and I met some of them. I'm not influenced by that at all. I'm saying it like I. I think it's just like the. It's the. It's. It's exactly what I want and need right now. And I think it's doing a great job.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I'm really enjoying it as well. I'm actually trying to find this. This article with what's his bun in it, Venus, that he was on podcast and some of the quotes are just so funny. I wanted to read it to you, but I cannot find. Oh, Venus. Yes. So he was on so bad. It's good with Orion Bailey, Vanderpump Rules server. Venus is the title of the episode. Venus has a talking head. Look, okay, he talks about his talking head, they talk about him. Why he's working at SIR he said he did watch Vanderpump Rules, but he's really a fan of Vanderpump. Lisa is my queen, and I finally just grew up here and was like, I'm sending in an application and I was hired on the spot, and I've been the queen bee of SIR ever since. Okay. It's first red flag. Then he's talking about how he grew up in a town with small pastures and cows, and he only had a post office and gas station, so he had to get out of there. And he says, so. I always knew I was not meant to. Meant to have this small town farm life. I just have some kids and that's about it. Like, no way.

[Natalie]

I was like, I'm a star.

[Ronnie]

I've always known I was a star. I started writing memoirs in the fourth grade.

[Ben]

Memoirs. Multiple memoirs. Multiple versions of his life.

[Ronnie]

So we've got delusional people who are already completely famous in their own mind. I mean, and it's gotta love it.

[Ben]

And this show has gone back to its most important feature, which is a lazy season of awfulness. Because I'm like, wow, Marcus and Marcus and him. I'M like, ugh, they're toxic and awful. They're. Of course, they're a couple that drags everyone into their drama. And then the moment everyone gets dragged in and then you say something like her, and they get back together and it gets back to, like, her that she. That you say her or whatever it is, and then they kick you out and it's like, oh, God, I hate those toxic couples. But then you got Venus. You're like, ugh, but Venus is awful. And then you're like. Then you're like, well, but Natasha. But then Natasha's awful. Like, it's like you're going back and forth. And that is the most Vanderpumpian quality that you could have. It's just like a lazy Susan of awfulness that revolves around such low stake things that I'm feeling very much at home.

[Ronnie]

You know, one of the biggest worries was, oh, my God, they don't work at the restaurant. Blah, blah, blah. You know, people were saying that before, but it looks like they do actually, actually work there. I mean, at least they have to work there to work. And they're showing a lot of the restaurant stuff, which I really like. You know, just working restaurant so much of my life. I really love seeing the pettiness in the restaurant and how everybody's turning against, like, one person at a time. It's just so fun.

[Shane Davis]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And it doesn't feel really as performative as I was afraid it would. I felt like they're generally, like, annoyed at each other and frustrated and they're, like, exploding with, you know, fury. So I'm. That's why I'm like, this is great. And, like, it's just so stupid. I mean, this whole episode, it's just, you know, like a rock climbing. And Shane Davis is like, yeah, I got shot three times. It's like, what? It's like, this is just funny. It's just not that getting shots funny. It's just the way it's like, yeah.

[Shane Davis]

Man, I got shot.

[Ben]

You're like, this. It's.

[Ronnie]

It's.

[Ben]

I love this.

[Natalie]

Like, what? Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So we open up with everyone waking up because it was just Audrey's birthday party. So everybody's hungover, and Audrey's like, whoever.

[Natalie]

Planned this surf photo shoot for the.

[Ronnie]

Day after my birthday is dying diabolical. I'm gonna get revenge on them by not using any moisturizer or hair products. And I'm hungover, I'm sweaty.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

But you know what?

[Ronnie]

I just go into sir, and there's so many glamorous photos. Do they have flies on them? Yeah, but I mean, it's sir so I'm just like, oh, my God, am I gonna be in the Wallace Sir?

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Am I gonna be on the wall Sir?

[Ben]

She's saying that the photos on the wall sir are glamorous. Is also hilarious. She's like seeing these, like, archival photos of like, Jackson, Katie, and the whole cast from, like 2012.

[Guillermo]

She's like, wow, the golden age of Hollywood.

[Ben]

I get to join the pantheon of great wait staff at SIR.

[Ronnie]

Now we have the famous sir photo shoot, but this time it's done in the restaurant with the managers there, and nobody's naked or in like, like kind of sexual, sexually creepy outfits, which is super weird. I'm like, what show is this changed.

[Guillermo]

We ho is no Riho now has black plastic bags floating along its streets. Bump is closed. And now we have something called hr. We still don't know what it stands.

[Ben]

For, but it's very scary.

[Natalie]

Who isn't Rascals?

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Please report to the who is and rascals department.

[Ronnie]

So Guillermo's handing out shirts to people and they're getting the photo shoot set up. And Kim is like, I need my skim. So my waist looks snatched.

[Natalie]

Because the surf photo shoot is a legendary.

[Ben]

Yeah. And we see a shot of Natalie holding grapes and then Audrey's holding a lobster. I'm like, is there a lobster at the menu at Sur? I don't think there is.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Do they have lobster there? I don't know that I would trust them with lobster. Even though the cockroach of the sea. Isn't that what they call the lobster?

[Ben]

Oh, lobsters are not cockroaches of the sea.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, because they, like, crawl along the bottom and just eat all the trash and stuff.

[Ben]

What doesn't crawl along? I look, we're. You know, I would say a crab would be more like a cockroach of the sea, but it's not. I think we're a shrimp. A shrimp would be not the lobster. The lobsters have a whole. I mean, do they. Do they pee through their eyeballs? Yes. But are they the most beautiful little.

[Shane Davis]

Toddler crustaceans out there?

[Guillermo]

Yes.

[Ben]

I refuse.

[Ronnie]

Lobster. Lobster. Cockroach of the sea is a historical term reflecting how these abundant bottom feeding crustaceans were once considered poverty food for the poor and prisoners in colonial America. Well, that's became a luxury delicacy through railroads, canning, and culinary elevation. So there you go. They have similarities with cockroaches, like hard exoskeletons and scavenging habits leading to the derogatory nickname. But the term also applies to other abundant marine life, like shrimp.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Ronnie]

Called it.

[Ben]

See, you call it because there's so many things that crawl along the floor. That's why there's also so many fish that, like, hide in the sand and then, like, eat them, which is hilarious.

[Ronnie]

You know what? Yeah. You know what else was called a cockroach of the sea? Whales. Excuse me. That's okay on that one.

[Ben]

Yeah. I'm gonna push back. That's like. That's, like, crazy.

[Shane Davis]

Who is.

[Ben]

Okay. What AI system are you using that's coming up with who's called a whale the cockroach? Whales aren't even fish.

[Ronnie]

It's just, like, a tiny little side I'm using called Google.

[Ben]

Okay, okay. Who has. Okay, all right, Let me. You know. You know who wrote that as a shark, sharks hate whales. You just. You know that sharks hate whales because sharks are like, we're the best. But then whales come along, like, sorry, we're kind of, like, bigger. We're, like, bigger and a little bit scarier. And, like, some of us don't even eat other fish, but we're still somehow bigger than you. And they're like this. We're gonna call them the cockroaches of the sea because they're ruining our space.

[Ronnie]

I'll tell you who wrote it.

[Natalie]

Ahab.

[Ronnie]

Ahab wrote that shit.

[Natalie]

The cockroach of the sea. My last words.

[Ben]

Dolphins did it to get at the whales. That's crazy. I'm horrified.

[Ronnie]

Natalie's like, wow.

[Natalie]

You know what?

[Ronnie]

Like, I just wanted to be in.

[Natalie]

A place where, like, you work, where.

[Ronnie]

Everybody'S like, oh, my God.

[Natalie]

So chic, so perfect.

[Ronnie]

Literally, nobody says that about sir. I don't know where those people think they're working. Do no one. Does no one on this cast know how to look up a Yelp review? Because I. I can tell you, not one of them says that.

[Ben]

Yeah, Literally, the words that are associated with sir are not chic and perfect. The words are like, oversized enchiladas dry.

[Ronnie]

Please mop this restaurant. That was my review. I was like, it smells like bar rot. Please clean this restaurant. Please. Hello.

[Guillermo]

Hello, everyone. I've arrived. I've arrived. I'm in casual magician form today. I'm wearing a blazer, but my shirt is open a few buttons.

[Ben]

Sexy is back.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I remember. Oh, it's so conservative now. I remember what it used to be when we first did it years ago. Nobody had any clothes on.

[Ronnie]

And we do see pictures of clips from 11 years ago with the staff being naked and holding each other's boobs and stuff. And Peter's wiener flopping around over there in. Yes, Grayed out. A grayed out wiener. Which is weird because it actually looks like that now. Hey, how come we never see Peter? I know the rumor was that he. He wasn't going to do this anymore because he wasn't getting paid, but was he here?

[Ben]

He was on this episode? Yeah, Actually, he did show up.

[Ronnie]

He was like, this is sure different than it used to be, guys. He didn't say anything childlike Peter.

[Ben]

He didn't say anything, but he was, like, helping Natasha or something at the bar. But. But now we see that times have changed because Guillermo's like, do you want to remove your shirt at least?

[Guillermo]

He goes, I mean, only if you feel comfortable. You definitely will not lose your job if you keep your shirt on. You will just merely work in the back room and not be on television, but only if it makes you comfortable.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

To take care about is the comfortability of children that work for us. Please, please stay clothed.

[Ronnie]

Girl, you've never hired somebody overweight at that place in your entire life. You only hire people, especially men who will take off their shirt. Okay, people. Everybody does not walk around with six packs like that unless they're on your staff. I worked at an Applebee's and trust. Nobody looked like this. No one asked us to take our clothes off. Talk about some bad apples.

[Guillermo]

If you don't feel comfortable, please put your shirt back on. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at all. But if you want to show your beautiful nipples and six pack, I won't stop you.

[Ronnie]

And Chris says last night was a.

[Natalie]

Bad night to eat cake as he.

[Ronnie]

Shows off his eight pack.

[Natalie]

Shut up.

[Ben]

Yeah, I hate when people do that.

[Ronnie]

Stop lying. Stop trying to, like, relate to the people that.

[Natalie]

You ate a cake.

[Ronnie]

You did not eat a cake.

[Ben]

You did not.

[Ronnie]

I like when hot people are like, do you know how hard it is to be hot? Do you know how traumatizing this is? I don't eat anything. I'm starving. That's what I need to hear from hot people. Hey, shut up.

[Guillermo]

You know, it is necessary to keep evolving. You know, if it's a photo shoot, if it's different staff. I think that's been a secret to our longevity. That's why we keep our menu exactly the same. But now, now we have a new feature. It's small little bites that happen before the gigabytes. We call them appetizers.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Yes, Evolution we weren't okay to stop with the goat cheese bowl. So 10 years ago, we came up with the Gucci's empanada.

[Guillermo]

Sometimes we think about what's something that we would want on a deserted island, and we call those desserts. Please enjoy.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

We weren't happy just to have a tuna.

[Ben]

No.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

So we made it to tuna tata.

[Ben]

So Guillermo's like, when is Kim coming? I want Kim, and I want Kim to sit in the chair. So Kim comes in, and when she walks in, Mark is like, hey, honey. Honey. And everyone's like, what? But they were just fighting for two episodes of this of the show. Why are they being nice to each other?

[Ronnie]

And Natalie's standing right behind him going, I mean, they are so weird. Like, why are they being so cute right now? Like, I'm going to throw up.

[Natalie]

Like, hi, honey. Hi. I mean, it's like a weird kink.

[Ronnie]

Like, they literally get off on, like, screaming at each other.

[Ben]

And Venus is like, I'm sorry, but are these, like, back the Together? Kim's like, full disclosure, Marcus and I got back together after the party last night.

[Guillermo]

Yeah.

[Ben]

If you know what I'm saying.

[Ronnie]

And he's like, me and Kimberly. Yeah. We never had the conversation of, like, we're back together, but we just end up back together again. So isn't that the beauty of being in a toxic relationship?

[Ben]

Is it the beauty? So now they're doing more photo shoots and everything, and they're doing a light change and stuff. And now Angelica, she's the new sir hostess. She arrives, and he's like, oh, darling, look at you.

[Guillermo]

Innocent and sweet, as pure as the driven snow. Come in here to be corrupted and ruined by my television show. Get in here, sweetheart.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I didn't know if you were coming. Of course I'm coming.

[Ronnie]

Of course I am. I'm so glad to be here, Lisa. I was like, oh, no. This girl's so positive. Do you think she's gonna cry a lot?

[Ben]

Yes. She'll be destroyed. She'll be ground to a pulp.

[Guillermo]

Oh, you look.

[Ben]

What?

[Guillermo]

You look great. I want you to come meet the staff and just sit in for a picture. Okay. Guillermo, get the banana peel ready.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Guillermo]

Come on in.

[Ronnie]

So she goes in. All the staff is sitting there in their ball gowns and looking right at her. And she comes in. She's like, hi. And then falls right on her face. Like trips over a camera or something.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I had to hire Angelica right on the spot. She's gorgeous, she's lovable, she's flexible. She put her angle behind her head, right in the interview. Oh, God.

[Ben]

She kind of did. Because we see a flashback to her interview, and she's like, yeah, I did taekwondo for about 10 years and I was a national champion. Do you want to see a move? I could probably do this. And she kicks like. Like a light bulb out of the ceiling or something like that.

[Guillermo]

Oh, yes. Taekwondo, a skill set that's absolutely unnecessary in waiting and serving. You're hired.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

She has charm just oozing out of her paws. Oh, God. That's not the only thing that's going to be oozing out her after a couple of months at this place. Am I right?

[Natalie]

Get it.

[Guillermo]

Now? Remind me, when you won your national championship in Taekwondo, what was the part where you gathered menus and said, right this way.

[Ronnie]

It'S time for a commercial.

[Natalie]

It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ronnie]

So she stands up and Lisa's like.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Wow, that was a good entrance.

[Natalie]

She's like, I'm trying to lift my leg as high as I possibly can, but these heels are looking so big. Okay, maybe not my ideal first impression, but I feel like it really grounded me in a way.

[Guillermo]

Are you sure you're okay? Angelica, did you hurt yourself? Do you need to see?

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Hatch, we are so evolved now.

[Guillermo]

We care.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Please only take off your panties for this if you feel comfortable.

[Ben]

She goes. She goes, well, I don't think it really. I don't think it really requires workers comp.

[Ronnie]

So I think I'm okay.

[Shane Davis]

She's like, oh, good.

[Guillermo]

I don't understand what that is. Workers don't get comps here. You have to pay for fair, darling.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Yes, as I told you in your interview, workers are complimentary. You're here for the Instagram likes.

[Ben]

So she says, well, maybe I worked. Like, maybe this worked in my favor.

[Shane Davis]

Because, like, now people are going to be, like, really nice to me, right? Because, like, who's gonna be mean to.

[Ben]

The girl that just, like, ate? I'm like, literally all of them. They're like, oh, she's weak. We will destroy her.

[Ronnie]

Somewhere. Like, an alarm just went off in Stasi's house. She's like, oh, my God. Stupid bitch falling in. Sir, need to drive down there to not drive down there.

[Ben]

Yeah, when you hear a bell, it means a new server fell over in front of the team.

[Ronnie]

And, sir, every time you hear a bell ring, a new waitress just lost her vag. So Angelica's like, oh, my God, what a great way to meet people.

[Natalie]

Am I right, guys?

[Ronnie]

And they're like, wow, you look so beautiful. And Josh goes, yeah, what an entrance. I almost wanted to catch her.

[Ben]

At which point Ronnie left through. The tv was like, you get out of here, you little. He's mine.

[Shane Davis]

Falling down.

[Ronnie]

I just fell down off my couch.

[Natalie]

Like, ow.

[Ben]

Help me, Josh. Help me.

[Guillermo]

All right. Okay. Sit down there.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Now no one will get jealous of you. We don't like jealous people. So, Angelica, new girl, who no one's ever met before and has no history.

[Ronnie]

Please take the center spot in this photograph. I know.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Over Kim.

[Ronnie]

She literally made Kim move over so that the new girl could take the center spot. And I was like, oh.

[Guillermo]

Look, sexy and welcoming. Try it, Kim. Now, Kim, I know that you don't understand the concept of welcoming, but what you do is you sort of smile. Yes, a smile. A smile. Okay, let me start from the beginning. A smile is when you take the edges of your lips and move them upwards. You can do it, Kim. Try it, Kim. You're almost there. No, she can't smile.

[Ben]

She doesn't know how to do it.

[Guillermo]

Put her in the back.

[Ronnie]

Okay, guys, we've done the photo shoot, and now we're going back to the uniform. Okay?

[Natalie]

I'm Guillermo. Ooh, smolder, Smolder. Yes. All right, please, on your way out.

[Ronnie]

As everybody passes me, please say, I.

[Natalie]

Pledge allegiance to nicolane.

[Ronnie]

Okay, very good. You can go.

[Natalie]

You can go, you can go.

[Ben]

So Chris and Audrey start to flirt. Chris is like, yeah, you were working. She's, like, always working. I mean, you were pulling out all the moves. And then Jason's like, yeah, you were. If I had spoken first, I would have said, you pulled out the moves, but he said it first, so I'm just gonna say you were. Yeah. Not all the moves, though. Like, y' all pulled on me last night. Remember when you guys gave me strip tease last night? Guys, remember?

[Ronnie]

Huh? And then we just flash back to her getting the strip tease and be.

[Ben]

Like, oh, my God, I loved it.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, yeah, Chris is, like.

[Natalie]

Really different from the other guys I've dated. I mean, he has, like, a decade on me, okay? Like, that's 10 years, because he has 10 years above when I was even born, like a decade. So he probably had one of those blackberries that, like, you slide open, and he thought it was, like, the coolest thing ever. And he just, like, vigorously typed on it, like, with his thumbs. He was like, yeah, like, checking out.

[Ronnie]

Girls through his phone. Okay, I hate to sound like the grandfather that I am, but those were called t mobile sidekicks.

[Ben]

How dare you thank you.

[Ronnie]

And I had one, and it was amazing.

[Guillermo]

He.

[Ben]

He probably had, like, a crank on his cell phone just to power it, right?

[Ronnie]

So Venus is like, yeah, guys, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. In the middle of this conversation, I need to check my emails. That's right.

[Natalie]

I get them on my phone.

[Ronnie]

You guys, it's time to renew my AOL account. Excuse me. I can do that right on my phone. Sorry, what were you saying?

[Ben]

So Venus is like, hey, Marcus, can I talk to you for a second? He's like, yeah. What's on your mind? Well, just about last night. It's just like a recap of what a typical night is. And then today, like, making out in the photo, like, so what changed between last night and today? He's like, we made up last night. There wasn't a lot of talking. I mean, lips were moving, if you know what I'm saying. I'm trying to say as I put my penis in her vagina. Are you following any of this? Come on, Venus, keep up.

[Ronnie]

And Venus is falling into that trap as the gay friend who gets mad when people get back together. And I know that sounds random, but that is the thing, because gay guys are always trapped, right? Like, especially when you're friends with both. And I think this is a general trap for people, but I think gay people fall more in this trap because we don't have as many people to date. So when. Especially when you're younger and immature, and it's like, okay, well, so we're friends. I'm gonna listen to all your bullshit, but now you're back together with him, and now I don't get to spend any time with you.

[Natalie]

You.

[Ronnie]

It's. I don't know. I'm sure it's like an everybody thing, but I just recognize that as, like, being the only gay guy at work. We're like, what the, man? Like, everyone else has people to talk. Like, I'm the one who always has to listen to this, but I think it's extremely immature. And it's so weird to be mad at people for getting back together. What do you think?

[Ben]

I think it's great to get mad at people for getting back together. They're toxic. Well, no, but, like, from out. From where we sit, I think what? I think, like, when you're young, you don't realize that you just have to let people just fall into their own bullshit, you know? And you feel like you can actually change things. And what happens is, is as a gay, you're often put in the Sidekick position where when travesties happen, like a breakup, you know, especially, like, it's usually, usually, usually it's like it's a girl. Because of, you know, just guys are scared of gay people a lot. But like, these days, things are modern, so that's nice. Usually, like, you know, yeah, but like, usually it's like someone comes to us as the gay person is like, oh, my God, like, you would not even believe. He's just so awful lot of. He is so mean. He doesn't even consider me. And they. They tell you all these things and then you. You want to help your friend and you have a vision for your friend. And that vision is, look, I love you both, but you're toxic together. You need to start doing your own separate things and you can just move on, and then we can all be happy. And you start. You have this plan. It's going to be amazing. And then you invest all this time and hours on the phone, and you're hugging and they're crying. You're dealing with it. And like, that's time you could be on Grindr. That's time you could be doing anything else. And instead you're doing this. And then after you put in all that effort and you've. You have a plan, you've got the bullet points, you know what? Step one, step two, step phase one, phase three, they just get back together. Not. But what about all that work? What about all that? And you get so annoyed and you're like, what the. What the. We had a plan. We had a dream.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

We.

[Ben]

We saw what the future was going to be. Like.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he's like, I taught you about the secret. Like I taught you about manifesting.

[Natalie]

How could you.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but yeah, he's like, too far. And the thing isn't, it's her fault for being. It's not their fault. Look, it is their fault for being toxic. But what I'm saying is, in this situation, to me, it's not the problem that they're a toxic relationship and that you spent all this time listening to it. The problem is you spending all the time listening to it. And that's the change that needs to be made. You're. You're not the site. We don't have to be in that position where we're like the sidekick listening to everybody's drama all the time. Time. I think we kind of put ourselves in that position and it's time to just not be that person, because this is ridiculous. Like, actually fighting with someone because they got back together and they're happy is crazy to me. Like, I think he's coming off as completely crazy. Well, now, I wouldn't want to listen to their horseshit either, but I just wouldn't listen to it rather than root for them to break up all the time.

[Ben]

Well, I don't know if they got back together and are happy. They're just saying that they're happy because they're two broken individuals. So Venus is like. Yeah, Their relationship is like one of the most toxic relationships I've ever seen in my entire life. Which is why I like to embed myself entirely into their. Into their. Into their duo. That's why we're a trio, because I like to be around toxic people. And it's extremely offensive to me that my night at Audrey's birthday, I'm holding Kim crying, comforting her, which is what I've done a million times. They start dating, and then the next.

[Shane Davis]

Day, like, nothing happened.

[Ronnie]

I mean, yeah, but that's an interesting memory of the history because you were spending that. You were spending that birthday trying to get Marcus to go with a stand up for Natalie, actually, as I recall.

[Ben]

So.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I don't know, you're remembering this in a funny way. But he's very pissed off and he's.

[Natalie]

Like, you put me in a position.

[Ronnie]

He's got like the lala lips. I think he's going for like the new lala of this cast. And it's working because he's even got like the lips and stuff. And so Marcus is like, I didn't put you in any position when you say things in front.

[Natalie]

And she's like, yes, you did. Yes, you did. I was up till 3am last night. Okay, okay.

[Ronnie]

I could have been that time concentrating on a parking space for today, but.

[Natalie]

Instead I was working with you and your girlfriend.

[Ronnie]

And he's like, nothing to do with me.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I was dealing with bullshit because of the drama that you're always in. And then like the next day, you and Kim, like, nothing happened. It's like so convenient for you when everyone else is affected by it.

[Ben]

Well, good. Good for us. It has nothing to do with you. So stop getting involved with shit that ain't got nothing to do with you. Which he's right. I mean, ultimately, if you're angry at Kim for going back over and over and over again to a guy who's toxic, you gotta look inward and say, why am I going back to this couple that's toxic over and over and over again and getting myself embroiled in their situation? Just let her cry on the curb like everyone else and enjoy a bacon wrapped hot dog.

[Ronnie]

Exactly.

[Natalie]

So he's like, yeah, so quit involving everyone by doing it in front of everybody.

[Ronnie]

And he's like, well, I didn't involve you. You were trying to be involved last night, and I didn't say a single word to you. And that's true because he was running around trying to be involved on everybody's side like, well, now I need to.

[Natalie]

Have a talk with you. And I need to have a talk with you. You and I need to have a talk with you.

[Ronnie]

So stop doing that. Okay, Mark.

[Ben]

But then at the same time, let's not let the toxic couple off the hook, because two episodes are what you said. They're awful. And you see Natalie being like, she's like, ugh.

[Shane Davis]

You know what?

[Ben]

This is what he deserves. He does. He deserves to get suspended. It's like how many times I have to tell him, right, guys? And she's sitting there talking everyone's ear off, like they've heard it a million times from her, like, no one cares. And she's going around asking for advice, asking for help, crying at the party. This is what he does to me. This is what he always does to me. I'm just like, can you believe he did that to me? Oh, my God. He just said he's falling out of love with me. And now, like, he's like, not falling out of love with me. Like, not only can you believe it, and he's going around being like, I just can't even deal with her. Like, I'm like, they bought. They pollute the entire party with their. And then they act surprised that people want to weigh in or have opinions about it.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's true. That's true too. And Kim is not only toxic in that relationship, she's just toxic in general. I mean, she's toxic with everybody. Like, she doesn't know Natalie, so she's going to go poison the new girl against Natalie. And she doesn't like him now, so she. She's gonna do what she does to him. I mean, she's just kind of gross, you know? I agree in general, but I guess this specific thing, I'm just saying, like, stop involving yourself with crazy people and then getting mad that they're crazy, you.

[Ben]

Know, Absolutely lazy Susan. Lazy Susan of awfulness has.

[Ronnie]

It's like I'm talking to myself watching this show, right? I'm like, what are you getting so mad about? You're watching this on purpose, you know?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And it is.

[Ben]

It is that.

[Ronnie]

Because I love the toxicity. Like, I love to. I'm never going to yell at somebody for being toxic. I'll be like, why don't you call me when you were in a toxic mood?

[Ben]

Well, on the. On the. On the topic of inserting yourself, here comes Natalie while Venus and Marcus are bickering. And Natalie's like, I think I need to step in here, because the whole root of the problem is that he said. She said, between you and I. And then you walked away last night. And Marcus, like, I'm not gonna have the same conversation 100 times. No. But we never even talked about it because our conversations have been like. Like, we're like good friends. Like, for me, like, you've been like, my good friend, and, like, Kimberly is my good friend, and Demi, like, she's my good friend, and Venus is, like, my good friend, and I would like to leave it at that, but, like, no one else does.

[Ronnie]

He's like, yeah, not my problem. But also, that's not what they're talking about. So stop trying to make everything about you, too, air sucker.

[Natalie]

It's like, yeah, but, like, you need.

[Ronnie]

To say to your girlfriend and Demi.

[Natalie]

Like, natalie is my friend, and that's.

[Ronnie]

What I need from you.

[Natalie]

Like, everybody needs to know that because, like, I'm a friend.

[Ronnie]

Friend.

[Natalie]

Right? Right, guys. Right. Like, I'm a friend. Everybody knows that.

[Ben]

Yeah. I'm always gonna have Kimberly's side, especially when I say I'm falling out of love with her and I can't stand her face, and I need to, like, need to have some space and break up with her. I'm always gonna have a side.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And you should, though, but you should, though.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

And then Kim's like, okay, now I need to step in too, because I want to clarify things.

[Ben]

This is when I was just cracking up. I was like, see, this show is actually like. I was like, this show is good because they are now all latching themselves onto this. Like, each one of them, it's like. Like, it's like a. It's gravitational pull. They just all add on to the stupid argument.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And she's like, well, I want to clarify because I think things are getting misconstrued because I felt like if there was a boundary cross for me personally.

[Natalie]

With the way that you were texting him. Okay, Natalie. So that's it.

[Ronnie]

She's like, are you kidding me?

[Natalie]

Because, like, didn't we have to solve the problems that we were having last night? Because, like, I thought we did.

[Ben]

And so we see how last Night, like, Kim was crying in Natalie's arms and everything, and Natalie was there, like, consoling her. And Natalie then's like, you know, all that's changed in the last 16 hours is that Kim and Marcus, like, Kim and Marcus are, like, back together again. That's the only thing that's changed. I'm like, well, that's a pretty big thing that changed. And Kim says, in that moment, I didn't know who to turn to. And she was there. And I think that that's what it was for me. Like, rather than me missing her as a friend, I was like, oh, so you're a shitty person.

[Ronnie]

You're just a shitty city.

[Ben]

You're just a shitty garbage person.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. She's like, I was just using her there, so what's the big deal?

[Ben]

Yeah, I never said she was off the hook. I just, like, needed a vessel to pour my tears into, and she was there, but, like, hater still.

[Natalie]

Oh, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[Natalie]

So then Marcus and Demi can hang out and go one on one and go to lunch, and that's okay.

[Ronnie]

And Kim goes, yeah, because they're like, a different kind of friend.

[Ben]

Take that is it. So then Natalie and Demi see them from, like, arguing. Not. Not Tali and Demi. So Demi sees it, and so now Demi's gonna come over, and Natalie's like, I don't know if we. I think we should be finishing the photo shoot, like. And Demi's like, no, I've got something to say. So Demi walks over to this fight now. She's like, you guys, Natalie wants to finish the photo shoot, and I keep hearing my name. It's like, her name was said once, but she's like, I keep hearing my name, and I'm like, I'm already bored with this. Okay, so, like, who wants to fight with me now?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but all I've said is that you're my friend. And she's like, I don't want to hear you say my name today. So just, like, don't say it even if you're saying it, like, in a good way. Like, I do not want to hear it. Like, I'm so serious.

[Ben]

That's your problem.

[Ronnie]

No, because sound of your voice. That's my problem. Like, after last night, like, your voice. Ouch.

[Ben]

Why are you being so rude?

[Ronnie]

Because I feel like it. What about that assistant manager, Mary Ketchup? I said it because I feel like it. I'm like, hungry.

[Ben]

Don't be a. Okay.

[Ronnie]

How about you don't be a photo shoot? So maybe you shouldn't Tell me not to be a at work because, like, I'm a boss.

[Shane Davis]

Okay, I can't apologize anymore.

[Ben]

You're bitchy all the time.

[Natalie]

Maybe you said maybe you should stuff, though. Maybe you should.

[Ben]

Okay, you know what? I was bitchy for one night. Sorry.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Now wait a second. I know what you're doing right now, but stop it. Stop it. We've got a photo shoot. Please stop creating drama on this highly rated dramatic television show. Please go ahead. Do it without your shirts on if you're comfortable.

[Guillermo]

Do you need to take a break, Natalie?

[Ben]

Maybe speak to each.

[Guillermo]

Hooligans and rascals?

[Ronnie]

Well, I'm trying to be professional.

[Natalie]

She's not making it easy, Lisa, because.

[Ronnie]

Like, she needs to leave me alone because, like, I'm literally shaking right now.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Darling, Ken has been literally shaking for 25 years. He still manages to carry the dog across the restaurant on cue. So please get back to work.

[Ben]

She needs to, like, leave me alone, Lisa, for at least, like, one day, just, like, leave me alone.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Oh, I'll talk to you tomorrow about it today. The harassment continues. Tomorrow we'll deal with it.

[Shane Davis]

I'm so tired of being treated like.

[Natalie]

Shit by my friends.

[Ben]

This is Natalie complaining in the background. She's just going off about. She got herself angry about a fight that she wasn't even in.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So now we go to a rock climbing place and Shane goes up to the front desk and he's like, hey.

[Natalie]

Glamour some shoes off, you guys. I'm Shane Davis. Shane Davis. My name written down somewhere. You will soon. Hey, can I just tell you I've got beautiful eyes.

[Ronnie]

We forgot we didn't notice that. He said that last week he. When he was flirting with a girl. I guess Natalie's like, hey, just have to tell you I've got beautiful eyes.

[Ben]

So Natalie. Natalie shows up and she's like, oh, my God, Shane Davis, Are you trying to kill me? This is crazy.

[Shane Davis]

Rock climbing.

[Ronnie]

And he's doing it without the ropes.

[Natalie]

He's like, yeah, just rock climbing without the ropes. Yeah, I'm Shane Davis. That's pretty much how I roll. Danger. I'm no stranger to danger.

[Ronnie]

Okay. Yeah.

[Shane Davis]

He's like, yeah, I met him here. Yeah, I'm like, pretty used to, like, rock climbing. I met Natalie a month ago and, like, the fieriness to her, it's, like, very intriguing to me.

[Ronnie]

So she's like, sorry we got off on the wrong foot when I told.

[Natalie]

You that I didn't like you coming.

[Ronnie]

To it to my workplace with Another.

[Natalie]

Girl, and you did it anyway. She goes. But at the same time, like, I feel connection. It's, like, undeniable. Like, we're both cute, we're both single. We're both, like, a little bit up. I mean, geez, I guess we're gonna rock climb.

[Shane Davis]

Yeah, man. We're both up. Let's climb some rocks, man.

[Ben]

So that he gets, like, in the harness and everything.

[Shane Davis]

And he's like, hey, you got my phone? I'm gonna take some sweet photos when I get to the top of this wall.

[Ronnie]

And she's not into rock climbing at all, obviously.

[Natalie]

And he's like, well, I think rock climbing is, like, the perfect date for me, Natalie. Because she's, like, getting a sneak peek in my lifestyle, because when I'm not modeling, I'm a personal trainer, so I'm, like, very active. Like, I climb things. And that's just it. Like, you want to join my life of climbing stuff? Great. If not, sayonara, sucker. Shane Davis.

[Ben]

Look at this very intense look into the inner workings, the inner life of Shane Davis as he climbs a rock. Natalie.

[Ronnie]

I like guys who are like, not.

[Natalie]

Only am I gorgeous, I work out a lot, get used to it.

[Ben]

And Natalie's like, she does not want to do this, but she's like, come on, Shane.

[Shane Davis]

Just help me.

[Ben]

Help you. Get me naked somewhere. Do we have to do this? So they start climbing, and she's like, my nails are too long for this. I just realized. And the employee's like. Like, yeah, that's. Yeah, you shouldn't have done. You shouldn't have come here today.

[Shane Davis]

You're killing it, man. You know, my friends would probably describe me as a player with a heart of gold. And I'm honest, and I'm caring, and, like, I'm compassionate. But if. And if I feel nurtured and cared for and I feel safe, that's like crack to me, man.

[Natalie]

Yeah, crack. Safety. Safety is crack, guys. Emotional safety. Yeah, I'm an evolved guy, but I also work out a lot.

[Ben]

That.

[Natalie]

And I'm a model. Shane Davis.

[Ben]

And so then Natalie, they. Natalie, he takes a picture of her, and she goes up, and then she's like, oh, my God. Coming down was scary.

[Shane Davis]

He's like, yeah, I want to do this black one. Okay, I'm gonna do it. Okay, Take a picture of me when I get to the top, man. Okay. Take a photo of me and my. My most vulnerable state on top of this rock wall.

[Ronnie]

Okay, well, I'm gonna have to use your phone because I don't know where my phone is.

[Natalie]

He's like, okay, don't go snooping around though. She goes, yeah.

[Ronnie]

Is it like screenshots on my Instagram.

[Natalie]

Maybe?

[Ben]

So she's like, I do like Shane a lot, and I feel like it's this really could go somewhere, like, literally to the top of a wall. And he literally is like the epitome of my physical type. But I also don't want to make the same mistake that I made before. I was, like, jumping into a relationship when I've only been single for a few months. Like, I'm crazy. That's me commercial.

[Natalie]

Here comes one right now.

[Ronnie]

So they rock climb and stuff.

[Natalie]

And he's like, yeah, you know that you gotta get one. Yeah, I'm posing. I'm posing for the camera.

[Ben]

He likes flexes. Yeah, he flexes his arm at the top of the wall.

[Ronnie]

She's like, wow, that's so. That's so vulnerable.

[Natalie]

He goes, yeah, that's vulnerable.

[Ben]

They literally say that he flex his arm at the top of a rock wall. She goes, that was so vulnerable of you. That was so vulnerable.

[Natalie]

He's like, you want to hit one? You want to hit one more? You want to, like, chill for a bit? Like, let's. Let's take a little breather. Let's get deep together. Okay. I don't know if I've told you this, but, like, deep in my heart, I'm a person who works out. Hope that's okay for you. Yeah, it's like a deal breaker for me.

[Ben]

Well, guess what? Now that you're back down on the floor, here's your phone back. And that was like, like, really special. I gave you my, you know, your phone back because I had back surgery once.

[Shane Davis]

He's like, oh, yeah, I saw it.

[Ben]

What?

[Shane Davis]

I mean, no, tell me about it.

[Ben]

He literally says, I saw it. I saw you.

[Ronnie]

I guess he did mean he went through her Instagram.

[Natalie]

She's like, yeah, yeah, I loved your I love your back surgery stories. Those are, like, so real.

[Ronnie]

And she's. She tells us that she had scoliosis as a kid, so she had to wear a back brace.

[Natalie]

I mean, hi, nice to meet you.

[Ronnie]

I'm Natalie.

[Natalie]

My mom was like, this not the cutest luck. Okay? But, you know. And he goes, but he probably developed a lot of perseverance from that.

[Ben]

She's like, yeah, especially because they, like, make you stand up and walk the very next day. So my spine is, like, still not straight. Like, like, they can wait.

[Shane Davis]

Can I see it?

[Ben]

And so she's like, yeah, look look, they can only do so much. Like, look at this. Look at my spine. It, like protrudes.

[Shane Davis]

He's like, wow, man, that's awesome.

[Natalie]

She's like, yeah, I look, like, dainty.

[Ronnie]

But I have, like 24 screws in my back.

[Natalie]

And, like, it's like, not my favorite thing about myself, but it is what it is.

[Ronnie]

I'm just, like, used to it. And if I'm ever cremated, someone needs to them because they're going to take me out.

[Natalie]

It's going to be like a lot of hardware. But there's like 24 people that can have a piece of me when I'm no longer here.

[Ronnie]

And I think that's, like, actually very beautiful.

[Ben]

Guys. There's going to be like, 24 people in this world who'll be able to, like, use my screws. And that's just like a beautiful thing to be able to get back that way.

[Ronnie]

I just love the idea of different family members walking around. Like, every time I look at the.

[Natalie]

Screw, I think of Natalie.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

I miss you, girl.

[Ronnie]

I miss you, girl.

[Ben]

So then Shane is gonna now one up her.

[Shane Davis]

He's like, yeah, I broke my back too, man. Like, when I was like, 19 years old, I got shot three times. And one of the bullets blew out the left lung and it just like popped out right here. Right where my beautiful peck is. Yeah, check that out. You wanna know why? You know why I did that? Because, you know, my best friend, he shot me because I got this modeling contract. You know the classic, get a modeling contract, get shot three times because of it.

[Ben]

You know how it goes.

[Shane Davis]

Oldest story in the book.

[Ronnie]

Wait, so this story. So I get a modeling contract, I tell my buddies I'm about to move, and my best friend hits me up and he's like, I need your help. So my best friend and me got.

[Natalie]

Into a fight with a group of guys.

[Ben]

So it's like.

[Ronnie]

So your best friend didn't shoot you, or did he shoot you was trying to shoot the other person, he shot Shane instead?

[Ben]

Yes, I think so.

[Shane Davis]

Because he says he got stabbed. And I tried to tackle the guy and stab him, and then the same time, like, he just went like this. He was like. And I got shot, which is why I put some band aid tattoos on my body.

[Ronnie]

Jeez.

[Natalie]

He's like, I was paralyzed, but I learned how to walk in three months. That's right. And I walked back in that modeling agency and I said, hey, you still want to take me? And they were like, God, you're gorgeous. Do you work out? And I Was like, yeah, I do. And they're like, we're compatible. And that was my most vulnerable moment with casting directors. I them all. I. All of the casting directors. Then I shot them all over the face.

[Ben]

His story is, yeah, man, I got shot.

[Shane Davis]

I was paralyzed. I rehabbed myself back, and I was still hot. Still got it, man.

[Natalie]

I'm still hot. Calvin Klein flew me out to Milan. I didn't even know how to pronounce it. I called it Mulan. I don't want to be in that house so bad.

[Ben]

You know, the other guys can be, like, live action Mulan. If you guys want to do a sequel for it, I could probably be someone in it. I mean, now it goes tangled, but I'll take any role. Yeah.

[Natalie]

And so I got bandit tattoos all over the entry and exit wounds just because I don't want to take my life super serious. It did hurt getting went over my butthole, but technically, that is an exit wound, so I let him do it.

[Shane Davis]

I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim.

[Ben]

I mean, you were shot three times. You were literally a victim.

[Ronnie]

You were literally a victim. So it's okay if you do.

[Ben]

We'll allow you to have that one. It's okay. You don't have to be that defensive, offensive about it.

[Shane Davis]

It's like, I don't want to look at life like I'm a victim. Although I will use it to get.

[Ben]

A girl in bed.

[Natalie]

He's like, yeah. Sometimes using the gunshot wounds is allure. Like, I know she can't help on a primal level, but, like, she's a little turns on. Yeah. I've been shot three times. Works every time.

[Ben]

What? That's a. That is. You know, it's such a. It's actually a very scary story, but it's also such a stupid story. It's like. Like, your friend. Like, what are you. First of all, are you in, like, west side Story? You, like, signed a modeling contract, and your friend's like, wait a second. I got. I've got to help me out. I'm going to get into a fight. So he goes to, like, a knife fight, but then there's guns. Like, where was. What are you doing? And if you're in the middle about to. You just signed a modeling contract. Why are you going to go, like, step into a street fight somewhere? It just was so wild.

[Ronnie]

Models, like, meeting up and group, getting into group fights with guns and knives. Like, do models do that? I would think that if you're all. Because I'm I'm a master imagining that they're fighting other models, right?

[Ben]

100 probably. It's a model, you know, and they're.

[Natalie]

Like, yeah, we gotta get. I got a gun. I'm a model with the gun.

[Ronnie]

Then they started fighting over, like, Calvin Klein contracts, and then it turns into a. Well, it's just a crazy story. What the hell? You would think if you were models, you'd be fighting with, like, foam swords, you know what I mean? Because you don't want to hurt your faces.

[Ben]

It's like the battle of, like, Wilhelmina versus Ford. It's like. It's. I. I just love the idea of this, like. I mean, I'm sure it was, like, not a model fight, but I'm like, with you, all I do is I just imagine a bunch of models, like, having some sort of, like, catwalk moment. And that's like. That's, like their fight.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, it's crazy. So then we go to sir, and there's Peter. He's helping Chris muddle. He's like, this is how you muddle, son.

[Natalie]

Okay, can you explain to me what green gazpacho is?

[Ronnie]

Because, like, I don't get it. And Natalie's like, haven't you ever heard of Frank Green Tomatoes? And he goes, yeah. I mean, have you seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes? And she's like, no. He's like, yeah, well, the boyfriend gets run over by a train, so spoiler alert.

[Natalie]

Anyways.

[Ben]

And then Marcus is checking with Kim about some asparagus. Actually, it's at their apartment. They're checking about asparagus. And he's like, I gotta be honest. When we're not fighting, it's, like, perfect. You know what I mean? It's like, we're so loving. There's, like, no red flags. Like, I love you. I'm like, like, that's a big qualification. When we're not fighting, there's no red flags. I'm like, but when you are fighting, that's. Isn't that the red flag? Like, I don't think you can just cut out the fighting and be like, everything. Like, you know, our relationship is great except for the fact when we're fighting and we are breaking up all the time, but when we're not, like, that's. It's really a wonderful relationship. I'm like, but you can't.

[Shane Davis]

That's.

[Ben]

That's too important. You can't do that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So is this what he was telling Battle?

[Ben]

That's what he was telling Natalie at home. Cross cutting between them. At home and then at sir and everything. And then Venus is. Ben. Venus is serving a table after he has given the down low about Fried Green Tomatoes. Which Fried green Tomatoes must feel like, you know, a Buster Keaton movie to these kids. Like, what?

[Ronnie]

No kidding. But also, I'm surprised Natalie hasn't watched it, because she's a total Tawanda. Isn't that her name? When Kathy Bates, like, finally gets mad and, like, crashes into the sexy girl's car who. Who bullied her in the parking lot, and she's like, I'm. Tawanda goes crazy. And she's like, I'm.

[Natalie]

I'm gonna sue you. And she goes, oh, honey, you may be young, but I'm old and I've got insurance.

[Ben]

It's a classic moment. Yeah. What a good movie. So Venus is like, he's serving a table, but he checks his phone, and there's a text from Marcus. So then he texts Marcus. He texts Marcus back. Back. And Venus is like, hey, Natalie, when you have two seconds, will you come with me and so I can show you some dumb. She's like, oh, absolutely. Serge, don't do that. I didn't do the ticket.

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Do it.

[Shane Davis]

Okay.

[Ben]

So they go to the back, and he's like, I want to show you this text message from Marcus. Okay. Look at this. Look what he wrote. Okay, so Marcus wrote a text message that said, hey, dude, I've just seen a side of you that I really want nothing to do with, and I can't respect it, and I don't want to be fake and act like we're cool, so no need to pretend like we are. Oh, my God.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

And I just, like, sat there for, like, two seconds to type this response. I was like, marcus, you literally look like a dumbass, and so does Kim. And I'm behaving out of retaliation towards.

[Natalie]

Your stupidity and the fact that you.

[Ronnie]

And Kim don't give a about anyone but yourselves. And I don't want to hear about your clown ass relationship from you or Kim.

[Natalie]

Y' all just look stupid as. There, I said it.

[Ben]

I personally feel so betrayed because I have held Kim when she cried a million times. And then we see a flashback of like. Like, him doing that.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Kim being like, Marcus is like, typical mar.

[Natalie]

Like, you need to be active about this because this behavior will age you, girl.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, yeah, I've been there a million times. And then we see a flashback to him being there for Marcus. And Marcos is like, I'm going home after what I've Done. And I'm going to get reamed by Kimberly for defending Natalie.

[Natalie]

He's like, okay, I get it.

[Ronnie]

I know.

[Natalie]

I know, bro.

[Ronnie]

So back in the present.

[Natalie]

He's like, yeah.

[Ronnie]

So for the first time, I'm, like, fed up.

[Natalie]

And I'm like this. I'm, like, done. And, like, you push me to my limit, and then you're gonna make me out to be the bad guy. You haven't even seen me piss yet. Oh, you haven't even seen it.

[Ben]

And Natalie is like, this is crazy, because you're just giving your honest opinion. So now we go back over to the Kim and Marcus at their apartment, looking at, you know, asparagus. And Kim is, like, this tiny things that he.

[Ronnie]

Tiny little apartment kitchen. And Kim is holding, like, a knife as big as the kitchen, just waving it out.

[Ben]

I know. And they're, like, strangely, like, they're. They're a living room that just has, like, a white, like, decrepit sofa in it and nothing on the walls. And she's like, the thing that he said in those texts are unforgivable. He's obviously harbored these feelings and just now feels like it's an opportunity to say it because, like, you just don't feel those things overnight. Like, he's been feeling them for a long time. He's like, yeah. And, like, he's coming out of relationship. He said, you and Kimberly are a joke. Can you even believe that?

[Shane Davis]

That.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, John. I can't believe he was, like, talking.

[Natalie]

About you like that, like, calling you a joke. I mean, what, that she's like, yeah, so hurtful.

[Ronnie]

And so he says that he takes accountability, that he texted Venus first. But when he sent me back, like, what? He sent me back, like, now that's starting a problem. No, you texted him, you're not friends anymore, so you started it, sir.

[Ben]

But this guy has like. Like, this guy has had to receive all your, like, all. All your drama, and he's tried to support you both and tried to help you both, and now, like, the moment you guys get together, you're just like, oh, actually, I don't think we're friends anymore, because I didn't like that you were frustrated by us. So bye. You're not our friends. And so he writes back, obviously a very catty text, which wasn't great, but, like, Marcus, you started this. Marcus literally started this. You can't be like, I admit I did write the first text, but his text was worse, so he really started it.

[Ronnie]

No, you know what? It's really hard for me to be on Venus's side because I really don't. Venus going up to women and being like. And like, acting like he's gonna beat up a woman and calling her like, listen. I mean, there is like gay slang, like, and Lord knows on this show or, you know, we say it's not like you can never say the word, but, like, going after women and calling them and acting like you're gonna get in a fight is just a horrible look. And he does it all the time and it's gross. And so I can't be on his side because he just seems like, like gross to me. So I won't be on the side for right now. So I'm not going to be on Kim's side or Marcus's side either. But it puts me in a conundrum. But then again, this is Vanderpump rules, and so I'm just going to not be on anybody's side. But for right now, Venus is grossing me out the most in this situation.

[Ben]

Hey, everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Alice in block.

[Ronnie]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Ronnie]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Ben]

Erin McNicholas she don't miss no Tricholas Hava Naguila Weber you'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go we all go for Hugo Jamie she has no less.

[Ronnie]

Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer sipped some scotch with.

[Ben]

Jessica Trotch she's our favorite streamer.

[Ronnie]

Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey Be que sera sera whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ben]

This is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Ronnie]

I Love a ya Olivia Williamson.

[Ben]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Ronnie]

Yes, we canna It's Savannah Kyle.

[Ben]

Pass the spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Ronnie]

Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for AJ Lopez. She's VVIP It's Amanda V Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Ronnie]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben]

Let's get real with Caitlin o'.

[Shane Davis]

Neal.

[Ronnie]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily.

[Ben]

Sides who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Ronnie]

Let's go into the woods with guy Tubbs.

[Ben]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish my favorite murdo Karen.

[Ronnie]

Mcmurdo She's a total knockout It's Katie.

[Ben]

Manock in the study with a candlestick it's leather Leslie Peacock G It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron she's a whiz It's Liz Sarthie always killing it It's Lola Alkalani.

[Ronnie]

The incredible edible Matthew sisters She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose there's a chance of meatballs It's Rebecca Cloud Maximum love.

[Ben]

For Sandy Maximoska she's the queen bee.

[Ronnie]

It's Sarah Lemke we cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tellifson Shannon out of a can and Anthony.

[Ben]

Please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[Ronnie]

She ain't no shrinking violet coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining wondery plus in the wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.