#3123 Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 2 : Venus Try Trap

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3123 Recap

Vanderpump Rules S12E3 Part 2: “Venus Try Trap”
December 18, 2025 | Hosted by Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

---

Episode Overview

In this lively second part of their recap for Vanderpump Rules Season 12, Episode 3, Ben and Ronnie dive into the dramatic fallout among the group at SUR, centering on fractured friendships, toxic relationships, and the introduction of a new server. The hosts deliver their signature blend of playful mockery and affectionate ridicule, unpacking this week's tangled web of fights, alliances, romance attempts, and workplace tension.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Toxic Relationships and Hypocrisy

• Kim & Marcus Drama: The hosts criticize Kim and Marcus for drawing everyone into their perpetual drama, only to demonize anyone who questions their relationship.
  • Michelle (01:48): “I cannot stand a toxic couple that…draws everyone into their bullshit. And then the moment they get back together…anyone who dare even question them…they’re the shitty people. And Kim is so this person…I don’t want to hear it from you, ma’am.”
• Venus’s Frustration: Venus finally snaps after being used as a relationship sounding board.
  • Michelle (04:00): “Venus has something very important to say. He goes, ‘I’ve never been more done in my life. I swear on my...I swear on my poodle.’ It’s official. The poodle has been sworn on.”

2. Workplace Politics & New Blood at SUR

• Angelica Arrives: The new server, Angelica, is introduced, bringing out competitiveness and territorial behavior from Kim.
  • Michelle (04:36): “Ew, disgusting. Better not come near my man.”
  • Angelica’s background is suspiciously impressive (neuroscience at UCLA), making the hosts skeptical after past cast claims.
  • Aya (06:03): “Did she finish the other stuff? I don’t know. I don’t believe it. Since Raquel’s whole ‘I’m here to help disabled children’…I don’t trust anybody.”
• Recruitment and Manipulation: Everyone’s trying to sway Angelica to their “side” in the ongoing feuds.
  • Michelle (06:55): “Who’s Natalie again? Oh, yeah, she’s the one who’s up your ass…And three days earlier, we see that Natalie is being really nice to her…Because they’re all going to try to recruit Angelica…”

3. Spreading Secrets and Backstabbing

• Venus vs. Kim & Marcus: After a falling-out, Marcus and Kim go “scorched earth,” telling everyone what Venus said about them. The result: mass texting, accusation, and Venus being iced out.
  • Michelle (09:23): “Gabby girl [texted]…telling me that I’m low class and I’m a terrible friend because I’m throwing them under the bus.”
  • Michelle (11:41): “I love Kim’s logic…everyone should still want to have something to do with us, even if we don’t want to have something to do with them.”

4. Relationship Flirtation: The Angelica & Jason Dynamic

• Newcomer Angelica catches Jason’s eye (and vice versa), leading to awkward, jokey flirtation.
  • Michelle (13:50): “I’m not gonna lie, Jason’s kind of cute, especially when he says ‘ciao’…I haven’t flirted with a guy since my ex and I broke up…”

5. Ranch Date & Reality TV Clout

• Audrey, Chris (the reality show guy), and the Malibu horse moment – a romantic but slightly absurd date full of boasting about previous reality TV stints.
  • Aya (17:07): “You’ve been abandoned by a horse before.”
  • Chris boasts about (fake) reality shows: “Fuck Your Sister” and “Stick Your Finger Up My Butt” (18:16), to mock the parade of random TV “fame” types that land at SUR.

6. Rooftop Pool Party: Flirting, Fights and More Fights

• Natalie and Shane: Mismatched Communication
  • Shane’s hyper-focus on “clarity” and communication clashes with Natalie’s more casual approach.
  • Aya (25:05): “This…conversation is…turning me off, like, so much…I’d rather you just…be cute and affectionate and…not have this talk. It’s, like, gross.”
  • Michelle (26:14): “You can’t start with, like, I was shot three times and then come up with…feeling things…like, the very next day…Maybe you just…splooged your load on that story too soon.”
• Flirtation & Hotness Logic: Several cast members sum up romance as: “You’re hot, I’m hot—let’s date.”
  • Michelle (29:05): “Here’s the thing. When it comes down to it, you’re hot, I’m hot. I want to hang out with you more. I think we’ve got everything we need for a successful relationship.”
• Chicken in the Pool and “Girls’ Dreams”:
  • Audrey on playing chicken: “I have, like, a hot guy’s face in between my thighs. Who doesn’t want that? Living every girl’s dream. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. You know what I mean?” (29:45)

7. Final Confrontations: Venus, Kim, Gabby, & Marcus

• The cauldron finally boils over, with Venus lashing out at Gabby and Marcus, profanity flying, and physical threats implied.
  • Aya (32:15): “Gabby, you look like a stupid…”
  • Michelle (33:00): “You’re acting like you’re in Bad Girls Club. It’s embarrassing. Please stop. The gays are asking. Please stop, please. Your elder gays are begging you, please stop this. We don’t get that much. You know what I mean? It’s Vanderpump Rules. We finally got a gay and this is what you’re gonna do? Stop.”
  • The fight escalates but leaves relationships unresolved; this is left as the cliffhanger for the (imminent) holiday break.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Toxic Couples:
  • Michelle (01:48): “I cannot stand a toxic couple that…draws everyone into their bullshit.”
• On SWORN Poodles:
  • Michelle (04:00): “I swear on my poodle. It’s official. The poodle has been sworn on.”
• On Dubious Credentials (re: Angelica):
  • Aya (06:03): “Did she finish the other stuff? I don’t know. Since Raquel’s whole ‘I’m only on this earth to help disabled children’ — I don’t trust anybody.”
• On Reality TV “Clout”:
  • Michelle (18:59): “He really says, ‘I realized these girls…just want to be here to try to get some clout.’ You want to work at SUR so you can network and meet people and get famous. Like, yeah, but I want to climb the ladder. I don’t want to be the ladder.”
• On Relationship Criteria:
  • Michelle (29:05): “Here’s the thing. When it comes down to it, you’re hot, I’m hot…I think we’ve got everything we need for a successful relationship.”
• On Natalie’s Shut-Down:
  • Aya (26:38): “I communicate like, in a fun, flirty way, and you’re like…in a boring way. So…be boring somewhere else. Gross. You’re gross.”
• On Bad Girls Club Energy:
  • Michelle (33:00): “You’re acting like you’re in Bad Girls Club. It’s embarrassing. Please stop. The gays are asking. Please stop, please. Your elder gays are begging you, please stop this.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Event | |--------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:48 | The hosts dive into the Kim & Marcus drama and lay into toxic relationships | | 04:00 | Venus declares being “done” after years of being a relationship crutch | | 06:03 | Hosts skeptically dissect Angelica’s impressive-sounding backstory | | 09:23 | Venus is outed at work and receives nasty texts from Gabby | | 11:41 | Kim’s logic on why she’s justified in outing Venus explored—ironic hypocrisy noted | | 12:50 | “Thunder thighs” and body image chat among the servers | | 13:50 | Angelica and Jason flirt awkwardly—with host commentary about newbie energy | | 17:07 | Ranch date: Chris’s reality TV delusions and mutual skepticism | | 20:03 | Rooftop party begins; Natalie tries to bridge tensions with a smile—gets coldness | | 24:45 | Natalie and Shane’s confrontation about “flirting” and communication styles | | 29:05 | Relationships reduced to “You’re hot, I’m hot,” and girls-on-guys chicken in pool | | 30:08 | Venus confronts Kim about the group fallout and gets stonewalled | | 32:15 | Venus explodes at Gabby and Marcus at the pool, tempers flare | | 33:00 | The hosts lament the spectacle: “Bad Girls Club” energy, gay rep on VPR | | 34:20 | The pool party/dinner ends with unresolved rifts—the cliffhanger |

---

Tone & Final Thoughts

The hosts’ signature irreverence keeps the recap sharp and hilarious. They both ridicule and relate to the cast, quick with cultural references, and unafraid to call out hypocrisy. Their genuine love–hate for Vanderpump Rules shines through their roasting, making even the pettiest SUR drama a riot.

Michelle (34:41): “It’s a fun, stupid fight capping off an episode of lots of stupid little fights. And I’m highly entertained.”

---

Summary in a Sentence:
This episode underscores that in the world of Vanderpump Rules, drama is currency—friends and lovers come and go, but the real constant is the relentless, ridiculous cycle of pettiness, passion, and parties at SUR.

---

Transcript

[Michelle]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to watch what crappens ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts.

[Aya]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton.

[Michelle]

Drewski, lift with your legs, man.

[Aya]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you britches.

[Michelle]

I'm not.

[Aya]

Of course he did.

[Michelle]

Right, Santa? You know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[Aya]

And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister. And AT T mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone.

[Michelle]

Or give it as a gift.

[Aya]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes. Guys, my side of the tree is slipping.

[Michelle]

Kimber, the holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us.

[Aya]

With no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 monthly bill.

[Michelle]

Credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 vice connection charge credit sentinel balance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel financing agreement. 256 gigs 830 dol eligible board in a new line 100 plus a month plan with auto payments, taxes and fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[Aya]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what crappens. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

[Michelle]

So Kim is like, me and Marcus are used to people judging our relationship and at sir, everyone just knows everything. And it's the fact that it's Venus who's been our ride or die who's seen us in our most vulnerable, painful moments. That is what makes it hurt the most. Like you kicked him out. You kicked him out first. He was like, he was trying to give you like. Yes, I know everything that you're saying, but these two are so toxic. And I cannot stand a toxic couple that like, is so toxic and draws everyone into their bullshit. And then the moment they get back together, they declare that they're actually like in a great place and Anyone who dare even question them or try to, like, even say, hey, this is not good. They're the ones who are like the, like, the shitty people. And I cannot stand. And Kim is so this person that does this, that, like, to me, I'm like, I don't want to hear it from you, ma'. Am.

[Aya]

Well, Marcus too. I mean, Marcus just last night was like, I'm falling out of love with her because she keeps treating me like this. And like, how could she do this when my parents died? I mean, he pulls out the biggest guns against her. She's like, she's coming after me like this after my parents died, you guys. I mean, he's making her look like the worst in the world. And then he's like, what? I love her.

[Michelle]

What?

[Aya]

Why?

[Michelle]

So now back at the back alley, Venus is like, I have been in the middle of their relationship since the beginning, and I have been a crutch for both of them this entire fucking time.

[Aya]

Yeah, but like, crutches don't complain. You know what I mean? Stop being a crutch. And I tell crutches the same thing. I'm like, don't complain. You're a crutch.

[Michelle]

Okay, so Natalie's. So Natalie's like, well, that's why it doesn't work. Because, like, if you don't want him, like, what he. Like, you don't. If you don't tell him what he wants to hear, then. And if he doesn't want to hear that you. Then you're not like his friend. And like, with her, I mean, she changes every day. So, like, there's like, nothing you can do.

[Aya]

And she's like, kim is back at home. Was like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And Natalie's gonna fuck him over and she's not gonna have anyone and he's not gonna have anyone to go to. Cuz we're gonna be gone now. It's like, oh, my God, you guys, this is so ridiculous. Why don't you just call Venus and be like, hey, I know you're mad. I know it's weird that we talk your head off and then we get back together, but I hope you can support us. I'll try to stop talking less shit, but that, you know, still love you. Sorry you're. I mean, something. But they're like, no, let's declare all out war on Venus.

[Michelle]

So now Venus is. Venus has something very important to say. He goes, I've never been more done in my life. I swear on my. I swear on my poodle. It's official. The poodle has been sworn on.

[Aya]

Okay, so now it's getting ready time, and it's the daytime shift, and Demi is working with. She's just over there working. So she's basically like, you're gonna be training Angelica, the new girl tonight, okay? And Kim's like, a great new girls.

[Michelle]

Ew, disgusting. Better not come near my man. They're like, be nice. Be nice. You're telling me to be nice? I am the nicest. It means, like, do as I say, not as I do.

[Aya]

So Angelica comes and she's like, hi, I can't wait to work with you. And Demi's like, okay, you're training with Kim. You can stop smiling at my face. Please stop. The Muppet smiles in my face. Okay? So she's talking to Kim, and Kim's like, so have you used OpenTable before? She goes, yeah, like, it's a server. She's okay, so you kind of know it a little bit. Well, yeah, because I've used it. Yeah, well, okay, well, I'll figure it out. She's like, well, I mean, this looks foreign to me, but, like, I don't feel like it should be too difficult. She goes, yeah, it's really not at all. Let's focus on open table. All right.

[Michelle]

Why did you just, like, kick the open table display? She's like, oh, Sarah, just like taekwondo. Some, like, creeps up. My bad. No, I've been the new girl so many times growing up. My dad was in the Navy, so I've been in, like, 13 grade schools and, like, three middle schools and three high schools. And I have a psychobiology degree from UCLA, which was technically neuroscience. And I was a scholar, but I couldn't pay rent. So then I started serving, and I prioritized other hobbies, like boys. Who needs education when there are boys?

[Aya]

That was a lot. Neuroscience and a scholar. But now she's working at sir, so.

[Michelle]

Yep.

[Aya]

Did she. Did she finish the other stuff? I don't know. I don't believe it. Since Raquel's whole I'm here, I'm only. I'm only on this earth to help disabled children. And then, like, five minutes later, it's like, I'm an influencer now. Fuck the disabled children. So I don't trust anybody. And Rachel, she'll be corrupted.

[Michelle]

She'll be corrupted soon enough.

[Aya]

So Kim's like, so what about the photo shoot? Did you like it? And she's like, yeah, everyone seems really nice, but, like, there was a lot of tension. She Goes, yeah, you did walk into tension. And Kim's like, all I know is that, like, Venus and Marcus were having a conversation, and Natalie answered it herself. And then I had to answer it myself. And then Demi came in to answer it herself. Herself. And then Liselle came in and told us to stop answering stuff. And we were like, stop calling us if you don't want us to answer stuff. And then Demi was like, yeah, I'm gonna answer. And then I was like, I'm gonna answer. And Natalie was like, I'm gonna answer. So it was a lot. It was a lot.

[Michelle]

Wait a second. Who's Natalie again? Oh, yeah, Natalie is. She's the one who is up your ass, unlike me. And three days earlier, we see that Natalie is being really nice to her. She's like, by the way, if you need a second, look, this will cup the boobs. Check it out. And Angelica's like, oh, nice. Because they're all going to try to recruit Angelica to their side now.

[Aya]

Yeah, well, Kim didn't. Kim was just, like, a rude doer, but now she's like, yeah, she was up your ass when she was nice to you on your first day. What a be. And Angela's like, well, she was really nice, though. She goes, oh, yeah, yeah, really nice. And then she's crazy.

[Michelle]

Well, she seemed like a girl's girl, which is, you know, I like that.

[Aya]

Not a girl's girl. Not a girl's girl. No, no, that's a girl's girl. Audrey.

[Michelle]

We cut to Audrey just, like, flipping her hair, just looking, like, nice.

[Aya]

She's like, I'm so. But whatever. So, yeah, this is Kim just being nasty. She's got to be nasty in every scene. This scene, she's just gonna turn the new girl against Natalie for literally no reason, because Natalie said that she was friends with her boyfriend.

[Michelle]

That's all that. That's all that. That happened. That's. That's it. So now Venus is talking to Demi about, like, oh, am I at the bar? And Demi's like, yeah, I might move you. He's. And he's like, I'd rather just stay. Well, okay, that's fine. I'm just very emotional today. Really? Like, you look like you're about to cry. I know. I'm trying not to. Just thinking about my poodle at home, just trying not to cry. Okay, well, what. What. What happened? So he tells us that after that, after he got the text message from Marcus, that that was the end of their friendship. And he responded by being like, you're the biggest piece of shit, Marcus and Kim retaliated against him by going and telling everyone at SIR one by one, all the shit that he's talked about.

[Aya]

Well, that's just funny though, cracking up. And he's crying. He's like, and guess what? I can do the same thing because he's supposed to be my best friend. And you talk shit about people with your best friend. But I'm not tacky as fuck, so I'm not gonna do it. And, you know, he's talked some vile stuff to this Venus. Oh, my gosh. And he's like. So now I'm getting like, all these, like, random tags from people, like, talking shit to me. And we see a text from Gabby, this girl named Gabby who we haven't met yet. And she's like, venus, you're solo class. I'm glad you showed your hand. I've had more respect than to talk shit about you behind your back. And there's more integrity in saying it directly to you. And he's like, I don't even know what this is about. I've said so much about Gabby. Like, what do I even admit to her?

[Michelle]

Yeah, he, like, doesn't know what he. What he has to address. And he's like, this Gabby girl that works at SIR she is someone who's always trying to kiss Kim's ass. And Marcus and Kim telling her the things that I have said in private has made her lash out to me by sending me a text message telling me that I'm a low class and I'm a terrible friend because I'm throwing them under the bus.

[Aya]

I'm like, gabby, say it again. Yeah, he talks. That's what you get. And so to me it's like, okay, well, we can talk about this later. Because, like, we're at work right now and you can't be upset. And he's like, but I'm already upset. I'm fucking pissed because, okay, but like, you're going to be more upset if we talk about it. So just like, it's happy hour. So, like, be happy. We have to run a restaurant. All right? Don't get upset. I love you. And he's like, whatever, Whatever. Goes storing off into the restaurant crying.

[Michelle]

Yeah. And Marcus is like, yep, as soon as we fell out, I 100 I went and told everyone at sir everything that he ever said. And once I realized that it's me brother, it's definitely. It is definitely you. So, yeah, that's loud. It is shitty.

[Aya]

I almost get it from Kim. But, like, Marcus. Like, Marcus hasn't talked about everybody at work, too.

[Michelle]

That's exactly. It's really shitty. I mean, so he. It turns out he's shitty too. So Audrey is. She's like, well, Venus went to me in the kitchen almost in tears over nasty text messages that people have been sending him. And Kim's like, well, he sent me. He sent me and. And Marcus a nasty text message. So we thought he deserved to have everyone in the restaurant hate him. So that's.

[Aya]

Yeah, but he sent you the first message. Yes. Well, like, Marcus told him he was not happy with them and he didn't want anything to do with them. And then Venus's response was, I don't want anything to do with you and Kent. She goes, okay, but, like, you and Marcus, Like, I mean, come on. Like, there's other people looped into. So, like, he showed me text messages calling him X, Y, and Z. And, like, that doesn't sit right with me because, like, Alphabet disses are not cool. Like, we all have to use it. It's like, well, but, like, that's other people's feelings towards him and nothing to do with me. Just. Yeah, but you told them the things he said. So it does have to do with you. She's like, yeah, but she stymied. She's like, ah, okay.

[Michelle]

I love Kim's logic of. All that Marcus did was say he doesn't. He doesn't want to have anything to do with Venus. And then Venus wrote back saying he doesn't want anything to do with us. It's, like, so ruined his life. You read the same text, right? Like, you realize the same logic. So he was really so obnoxious. Like, because everyone should still want to have something to do with us, even if we don't want to have something to do with them. So Audrey's like, venus should be able to go to his best friends and tell him exactly how they feel, how they're making him feel. And I have to have Kim and Marcus go scorch Earth on. On him.

[Aya]

Yeah. So she's like, yeah, nobody should get mean texts. That's where Audrey stands on this mean text. Bad. So then Kim's like, okay. And so now we see a later scene, and Audrey's, like, flexing her muscles for the other servers and she's like. And Angela, I'm sorry, you guys, I'm stuttering. Angelica's like, is that like Pilates? Like, what is it? She goes, yeah, but, like, I'm trying to get my legs more toned because I have Thunder thighs. And Angelica says, honestly, thunder thighs are like, what they want. The guys, like, want them. I hear thigh gaps are out. Thigh gaps are totally out, girl.

[Michelle]

You heard it here first. So now Marcus goes up.

[Aya]

I mean, that's the girlfriend you want, though.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Aya]

He's like, yeah, my ops are stupid. Everybody knows it.

[Michelle]

Yeah. So Marcus goes up to Kim and he kisses her and he's like, how's it going, babe? Is it still busy up here? I think it is. He's like, how's the new girl? She's kind of cool. She's like, yeah, she's super respectful and, like, super trying to learn everything. It's really cool. So they're being, like, all nicey nicely for now. And then Angelica goes up to Jason and she's like. And Jason's like, hey, what's up, player? How's your first day going? And she's like, yeah, I think it's like, I'm catching on pretty quickly. Like, open table. You ever heard of it? Like, so cool. I catch on pretty quickly. I mean, neuroscience.

[Aya]

Yeah. All the girls are, like, saying, like, good things about you. Like, they really like you here. Yeah. And she's like, okay, well, that makes me feel good. He's like, you're starting to grow on me too. Okay, well, I guess we'll see. Bye. He's like, ciao. I say ciao a lot. It's like my only fan sign off. Ciao. Ciao.

[Michelle]

I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. Jason's kind of cute, especially when he says ciao. And I hope I'm like, I'm not coming off too weird because I haven't flirted with a guy since my ex and I broke up. Broke up, broke up. But we don't hear what it is. Instead, we go to Marcus, bringing Audrey some menus, and he's like, the mother load. Yeah, seven menus. Take a good look. I'm a real man carrying menus.

[Aya]

So Jason talks to Angelica again. He's like, whoa. You're, like, freaking out talking to me right now. Like, remember how we were talking but then you walked away? That was, like, so freaky. Ciao. I know. I'm Italian. And she's like, but, like, you kind of make me nervous, though. And he goes, yeah, yeah. Do I? I can tell. Ciao. It's like, yeah. This is why I don't like dating. Like, I just rather be in relationships for the rest of my life. Because, like, dating is, like, so manic. I'm like, boy, oh, my God. It's a boy, and I become unhinged.

[Michelle]

By the way, your game, it was cute. Oh, my God. Okay. Anyways, I actually have something I need to do right now. Oh, this is so awkward. He said, my game is cute. I don't even know what he's talking about. So now we go to a ranch. Now it's time. Very exciting. Today is the day we get to meet Oreo, Mary Faith's horse that Audrey is taking credit for. So we go to White Cloud Ranch in Malibu, and Audrey's cleaning horses with Mary Faith herself. And Mary Faith is like, oh, my God. Are you so excited to use your. My horse and pretend like you're a rich person like I am, but you're not because it's definitely still my horse and not yours because I live in Malibu and you live. I don't know where you live, but, like, it's cool that you're here.

[Aya]

Yeah, I want to get to know him a little more. So we're gonna throw him Oreo. Oreo's the best judge of character.

[Michelle]

Yeah, we'll throw him on our girl and see what happens. Because if he's, like, a shitty guy, then Oreo's gonna break his neck and he'll be paralyzed for life. Right? So cool. I love this test.

[Aya]

Yeah. So then Chris comes, and he's like, in full cosplay, cowboy, you know, he's got the hat and the boots. And she's like, oh, my God. What in the. Matthew McConaughey is going on? Next thing you know, this guy's gonna stop wearing deodorant and, like, get the police called when he's playing bongos. And so, like, wow, you look like a real cowboy. Where are you from? He's like, jersey. And Mary Faith goes, right, like, that answer.

[Michelle]

She was like. She was like, I'm gonna leave the scene now. I'm gonna leave because I'm from Malibu. No one told me someone from Jersey was coming here. So Audrey's like, yeah, well, this is Oreo. She's a little spicy. A spicy Oreo. Okay. She's on her period. Women, am I right? So you'll just have to, like, not fall off. Good luck with the period horse.

[Aya]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So it's kind of a cute scene. He rides a horse. He doesn't know really how to do it, and she teaches him, and she's like, chris doesn't look like he's ever been dirty. Like, and we're Talking like, unless we're talking about the other types of dirty but like dirt horseshit. Never. But like he's trying, you know, so that's cool. I mean, look at him. He looks like he should be the. He should be the star in Miley Cyrus, the climb music video.

[Michelle]

Some old video like that I like. Chris says, I've only ridden one horse in my life and the horse actually ran away from me before I could hop on it. I'm like, so did you ride? So you did one horse you saw a horse run away from?

[Aya]

You've been abandoned by a horse before. So they talk about horses and she's ridden, you know, she wanted to bring some Texas to California. And how's her dating life? And she's like, I haven't dated anyone in LA because, like, I don't do like fast dating. Yeah, I did. I do like sit down. Like service dating.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Table service dating. You know, I'm definitely a relationship girly. I've had a four year long relationship and I had a two year long relationship and before then I was 11 years old, so. But like, both of them almost destroyed me when they ended, but it's just because, like, when I love, I love so hard. Girl, you're like 22. I'm acting like you've been like you've been around the block.

[Aya]

And he said now it's his turn. So he's like, well, you know, being on two reality dating shows. She goes, oh, my God, what? And he goes, yeah. You didn't know that? You didn't recognize me? You didn't kill me? Been on my Instagram.

[Michelle]

You didn't.

[Aya]

No big deal.

[Michelle]

See my IMDb? I mean, I feel like everyone at SIR has been talking about how I was on two reality shows a few years ago that like, kind of made no dent in pop culture. Right?

[Aya]

Yeah, right. I was, I was one reality show called fuck your sister, which was so weird because people like thought you were fucking your sister, which, like, I got.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Aya]

And then there was another one like, stick your finger up my butt. Which, you know, it was like bigger. Like it was a Netflix thing. So, like, people like now when they're dating me, like, I'm like, you're just using me because, like, I'm famous from reality shows. So it's pretty rough. It's pretty rough.

[Michelle]

He really says, you know, I realized these girls, I go on dates, I just realized these girls just want to be here just to try to get some clout. It's not like a piece of meat, like you're the one who said last week you're trying to get. You want to work at sir so you can network and meet people and get famous. Like, yeah, but I want to climb the ladder. I don't want to be the ladder.

[Aya]

He's like, I felt like a piece of meat. Aren't you on Onlyfans?

[Michelle]

You're. You're. You're literally, you're in the back section of the supermarket next to the chicken and underneath the pork, you're the meat.

[Aya]

Your goal is to be a tomahawk, you know?

[Michelle]

So Chris is like your reporter apartment.

[Aya]

Yeah. I just don't have any luck meeting a genuine person, you know, at least from my point of view, because, like, I've only had three serious relationships. Last one was back in Jersey three years ago. But I've had some situationships. And she goes, okay, well, do you want a serious thing? And, like, do you love being single? And he's like, at this point, I don't want to, like, I don't see anything long term. I'm just not going to really waste my time or their time. It's. It's like long term or nothing. Yeah, just like, you know, it's really hard when the paparazzi are following you around. Like, you can barely see because there's so many cameras snapping in your face.

[Michelle]

Yeah. And she's like, wow, that's like, so mature. Like, this guy, he's so deep. He only dates on reality shows and he can't find love of his life. It's just crazy. It's so hard out there.

[Aya]

But wow.

[Michelle]

I hope you learned a thing or two. You're so deep, Chris.

[Aya]

Yeah. All I really need is the guy who can make me laugh. And then, like, my clothes are off. Like, I'm serious. So then we go to a rooftop bar. Party. First pool party on a rooftop, everybody. It's a big deal. It's this Vanderpump rules tradition. So here we go, Angel. Angelica's like, there's a lot of tension at the restaurant, so I just want to get on everyone's good side and get to know them individually. So I'm going to have a pool party with my girlfriends.

[Michelle]

So she goes. We see flashbacks of her inviting people, and she's like, I'm newly single. God, I hate being single. I just want to be in a relationship and just, like, hear me roar. And she, like, takes off her shirt.

[Aya]

Like, look at me.

[Michelle]

So Marcus is there at the rooftop, and Mark is like, hey, you want? I want. Do you want Me to take a picture of you girls. You all look so pretty. They're like, oh, my God, Marcus, you're so sweet and thoughtful. Like, he's really good at this. It's the one thing he does right. It's just like Marcus being sweet. So sweet. Classic Marcus.

[Aya]

So everybody's, like, greeting and saying hi as everyone comes in, and Natalie comes. It's like, hi, guys. And the girls just look at her. And Kim's like, I don't understand Natalie's mindset. Like, how could she think we're gonna all be screaming at each other and hating each other for a day, and then the next day we're just gonna be fine and say hi to each other? Maybe because yesterday you were screaming and yelling with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend said he was falling out of love with you, and then you showed up the next day being fine. Maybe that's why. Because you set the precedence.

[Michelle]

Yeah, maybe it's because in the last episode, you were trying to start a fight with Natalie, and then the moment that you heard that Marcus is falling out of love with you, you actually went and cried in her arms in the same party within the same, like, five minutes of air time. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why we think so. So there are so. Natalie's like, I just don't like to carry negative energy. So when I say hello to everyone and they have nothing but resting face, I'm like, like, wow. I'm damned if I do. I'm damned if I don't say hello. That is so. Shane's like, hey, what's going on? Good to see you, Natalie. And she's like, good to see you too. And then Venus is like, dude, you look huge. Wow, Shane. I was like, yeah, I'm stacked up right now. Not gonna lie. I'm bigger than I've ever been. My bullet. My bullet tattoos are looking bigger and sexier than ever. The life of a model, man.

[Aya]

And Chris is like, oh. Oh, Shane. Shane Davis is here, like, talking about being stacked up. Don't mind me, guys. Just gotta change into my bathing suit right in front of everyone. Hope my towel doesn't fall. Oh, what? Put it on backwards. Gonna have to try it again. Maybe you guys will get to see my junk, huh? Maybe you'll get to see it.

[Michelle]

I was like, oh, my God, he's naked. And Kim's like, wait, hey, do you have a crush on Chris or what? Marcus? Like, what are you doing? Marcus just always have to spell up. Only supposed to have eyes for me.

[Aya]

He's like, we're brothers. We're like brothers.

[Michelle]

All right.

[Aya]

We're like brothers. No, you're not. So Chris says, yeah. Chris is like, gotta do it again, guys. Maybe get to see my wiener. So Demi says hello to Venus, but she's like, hello, Venus. And she's like, do you want to come sit here? So it's nice.

[Michelle]

I think she's all season.

[Aya]

He's like, no. She goes, yeah, well, I totally understand.

[Michelle]

So Natalie's like, oh, my God, I almost put my toe in our water. Isn't that hilarious? And Jason's like, oh, no, I'm gonna drink it. So then Shane tells us, oh, we should say that, like, Natalie is sitting next to Jason, and she's making this small talk about putting her toe and I guess a cup of water. And it's, like, sort of flirty. And Shane's like, natalie told me, like, not to be flirting with anybody at SIR and, like, now that's what you're doing. And I'm, like, confused by that. Like, are you feeling this? Or if you're not feeling it, let's just be friends. Because either way, I'm a bit. I'm a big communication guy, and if something is casual, I need some clarity. Like, you're the one who. You went on one date, and the whole point was that you brought a girl into SIR Just to get her mad. So I think she's now just doing it back to you.

[Aya]

Yeah. They've only been on one day, but I think he's like, well, I whipped out my being shot three times story. And, like, I totally went up to her scoliosis story, whatever that is. And so, like, she should be totally in love with me right now. Why is she flirting with somebody else?

[Michelle]

I was vulnerable in front of her. Okay. I flexed my arm at the top of a rock wall.

[Aya]

He's like, what's cracking? She goes, not much. I'd love for more to be cracking. He goes, yeah, you want to go over to the pool with me? Come on, we need to have a serious talk. Yeah. So Jason told me you were getting super flirty with him and Chris. What about that? And we see a flashback to Natalie between the cousins being like, oh, my God, this is like a threesome. I'm like, between the. I'm like, on White Lotus right now.

[Michelle]

Another White Lotus reference. And they're like, yeah, like, well, like, I close. Oh, my God. So close to you guys. So now back to the present. Natalie's like, everyone thinks I'm flirting with them all the time. Because I'm super nice. Yeah. And I can feel your walls, like, super, super high. So just, like, bring it down. Be vulnerable. Like I am. Pretend like you're flexing the top of a rock wall.

[Aya]

It's like, yeah, well, this, like, conversation is, like, turning me off, like, so much. Like, I don't want to talk. I don't want to, like, talk about it or overanalyze it. Like, I'd rather you just be. See me and, like, be cute and affectionate and, like, not have this talk. It's, like, gross.

[Michelle]

Yeah, but, like, I don't believe that. Like, the way I communicate, that's, like, with anybody I'm seeing. That's just, like, what I do. I just, like, get into a knife fight for people, you know, man.

[Aya]

Yeah, but, like, I'm a relationship person. I meet the person, it's like, 0 to 100. Then there's, like, nobody else. So, like, it's like, there's not communication because, like, I end up being with the person, like, 247 as soon as it starts. So. Yeah.

[Michelle]

Yeah, but, like, right? I want to be, like, super respectful. But, like, that's, like, why I'm, like, what bothers the out of you? Because, like, while we were talking, this.

[Aya]

Conversation bothers the out of me. It's, like, gross.

[Michelle]

Okay, reverse. Reverse. Because, like, this is called clarity. And if you can't do communication, I.

[Aya]

Mean, why can't you just flirt with someone and see what happens? Like, you're showing all your cards, and that's what you're calling communication. And it's, like, making me bored. Like, I'm, like, so bored with you, so.

[Michelle]

Oh, you're bored? You're bored?

[Aya]

Yeah, because there's, like, nothing exciting here. Like, there's nothing exciting here. You can't start with, like, I was shot three times and then come up with, like, feeling things like, the very next day. Like, you need to up your game and not go backwards. So maybe you just, like, splooged your load on that story too soon. I don't know. But, like, boring.

[Michelle]

Okay, maybe we just communicate differently because, like, all I can talk about is communication. So I guess we just communicate differently.

[Aya]

Yeah, I. I communicate, like, in a fun, flirty way, and you're, like, communicating in a boring way. So, like, be boring somewhere else. Gross. You're gross.

[Michelle]

So, Natalie, I love this, though.

[Aya]

I loved her being, like, shut the up. Like, we're not. I'm not your girlfriend. What are you having a private conversation about me, who I'm flirting With at work. Like, off.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Because she might be like having friendly conversation with the guys, but like he brought a whole other, a whole other girl into his, her workplace. And he's going to say that's on the same level. So she's like, this might be the first time in Shane's life that a girl is not throwing herself at him. And I think that's where we're, we're going wrong and is that he can't get me the way he's used to and he is losing his mind. But I'm not that easy. Sorry, Shane.

[Aya]

Yeah. So she's done with him. Shane just walks away. He's like, I'm out of this conversation. Like, I'm so over it. Shane Davis doesn't do this. So now Marcus and Chris are swimming and having races and stuff. And Audrey's like, oh my God, wait, I'm. Wait, which one's Audrey? Hold on. Oh yeah. She's like, wait, I'm jealous now. I want to go to the pool because they're like racing. So Angelica compliments her chest. She's like, oh, my God. You're like, oh, she's with Josh, my, my boyfriend. And she's like, oh, my God, you got such a nice chest. I'm gonna put suntan lotion on your chest because it's like hard for you to reach it.

[Michelle]

He's like, whoa. And Shane's like, hey, someone spray my bag. Is that cool? And Angelica's like, I fear that you may have a bigger chest than me, Josh. I'm not gonna lie. He's like, yeah, I've got a bigger faux hawk too. I don't have a faux hawk, but that's okay. Hey, so when was your last relationship? Aren't relationships the best? Should we just be in one? And he's like, probably four to five years ago. Why, why, why has it been so long that I've been single? I'm just focusing on the grind, man. Just the grind. You know, stripping doesn't strip itself, okay? You just gotta throw yourself into it. The grind, man.

[Aya]

What about you? She's like, well, actually I still live with my ex. I know, it's like crazy. And he goes, yeah, it's like a little bit red flaggy. She goes, yeah, but like, that's the person I wanted to marry and have kids with, but then they didn't want to be with me anymore. And they're like, they, they, like they can't. Like they're saying, like, we're incompatible. I mean, what the heck Like, I love love. So, like, I'm in relationships, like, really quick. Like, I'll move in after three months. So, like, my red flag is that I'll accidentally say I love you during sex. I'm just so sorry. Like, what's wrong with me? I can't stop saying I love you.

[Michelle]

Here's the thing. When it comes down to it, you're hot, I'm hot. I want to hang out with you more. I think we've got everything we need for a successful relationship.

[Aya]

That's like, the second time we've heard that in one episode. Someone just being like, we're both hot. Why aren't we dating?

[Michelle]

I mean, is there anything else that needs to be checked? You're hot. I'm hot. What else? What else do we need? We're done here.

[Aya]

She's like, well, just, like, invite me somewhere, and I'll go anywhere with you. I mean, I'll probably say yes at this point. He goes, let's go to the gym together. Oh, God, really? The gym? Take her to dinner. Love, loser. Come on, eyebrows.

[Michelle]

I love a romantic. So he's like, okay.

[Aya]

She's like, okay.

[Michelle]

And so now people are getting in the pool, and there's some people playing chicken on top of, like. Like, the girl. Audrey and Angelina playing chicken on of Chris and Jason. And Audrey's like, I have, like, a hot guy's face in between my thighs. Like, who doesn't want that? Like, living every girl's dream. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. You know what I mean? Because remember Oreo and all that, right? Suck it, Mary. Faith, where's your pool party?

[Aya]

So now it's Venus's turn. He's like, I'm talking to Kim. Kim, can I talk to you? Okay, well, I want to start with saying that maybe my approach was a little harsh and that that text was like, a cry for help and me being like, I have to set a boundary because, like, I absolutely cannot handle what is going on in the last 10 months. I can't handle it any longer. And when I came to work yesterday, I felt backstabbed by you because I was totally told by multiple people that you guys were telling people that I've talked about them. And she goes, not true. And then we see one day earlier, Audrey saying, are you talking. Are you telling everyone that she's. That Venus is talking shit? She's like, yeah.

[Michelle]

But I apologize. I just coughed into everyone's ears. They came out of nowhere. I think I was just choking on how ridiculous these people are. So Venus is like, well, they told me that. And like, Gabby texting me, telling me I'm a low class for trying to throw y' all under the bus. And I would never tell anyone anything you and Marcus have ever said.

[Aya]

He's like, well, the fact is, when you send me those text messages, I literally cried to my mom. Mom. And I was like, he's one of the only person I trusted here. And the whole situation's made me so sad. And, like, I'm not sure what moving forward's even gonna look like because I'm like, I'm not gonna go get the food I order. So. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Michelle]

I don't know what moving forward is gonna look like, but it's not gonna be on an empty stomach. I'm getting my food. So Kim gets up and she leaves. Venus is like, but I can't promise that it's not on with that. And he points to Gabby, and Gabby's just like, australia, Australia, Australia. And off to the side. So Venus is like, I don't know what to. I don't know what to think right now. I'm gonna project all my rage onto Gabby.

[Aya]

And Natalie is telling him, just take a breath, okay? Just take a breath. He goes, oh, yeah? Well, why is this stupid bitch. This bitch. This stupid bitch. And he goes, he's like. Starts yelling at her and pointing across.

[Michelle]

The pool or what, doesn't even have a mic on.

[Aya]

And he's like, should I go confront her right now? And she's like, no. And he goes, yeah, I'm going to give me my drink. And he, like, goes. Makes like a big stride over there. And he's like, michaela, you look hot. Gabby, you look like a stupid.

[Michelle]

You're hot. You're a stupid Michaela. Michaela's in. Gabby, you're out.

[Aya]

So Gabby's like, that's not cool. And this idiot is now gonna have a whole reel of him going up to women, screaming in their faces and calling them stupid. Like, he's gonna get physical. Like, what an idiot. Bad move, dummy.

[Michelle]

So then he's. So then she's like, oh, thank you. He goes, you're welcome. And Michaela's like, you're the fucking dick. Shut the fuck up. And Venus is like, no, you're a dumb bitch. Fuck you. And Gabby's like, you trash. And Mikaela's like, why? And Venus is like, she sent me some stupid ass text telling me I'm a low class bitch. Well, you know what? You know what proves that you're not a Low class bitch. Maybe like, not going up to someone be like, fuck you, you stupid bitch skag whore. Like, yeah, you're not gonna.

[Aya]

You're acting like you're in bad girls club. It's embarrassing. Please stop. The gays are asking. Please stop, please. Your elder gays are begging you, please stop this. We don't get that much. You know what I mean? It's Vanderpump rules. We finally got a gay and this is what you're gonna do? Stop. Okay. Go back to your manifesting, please. So Michaela's like, yeah, well, you were talking about her to Marcus. So Venus is like, oh, of course, Marcus. And goes, hey, you know not to come up on me like that, brother. And he's like, oh, yeah, why? So now he goes up to Marcus's face and waving his finger in his face. And Marcus is like, you don't want to talk to me the wrong way, bro.

[Michelle]

Okay, okay. I'm just asking why. He's like, be very careful. And Michaela, I don't even know who Michaela is. She's like, I said, why are you talking about Gabby? Gabby's like, oh, I haven't talked about this the whole time.

[Aya]

So Natalie's like, oh, my God, please just stop cursing everybody.

[Michelle]

The biggest. The frontier, the cursing.

[Aya]

And Kim's like, oh, my God, girl, don't act like you're not always fucking crazy. You're the one who's always crashing out. You're a fake ass bitch, Natalie, so you shut up too. Oh, okay. All right, perfect. I mean, you're like, psychotic. You're like, psycho. She's like, don't you guys ever move on or make any resolution? I mean, come on. Like, obviously not sorry that I'm sisters with your boyfriend.

[Michelle]

So Kim walks away. Where will this. Where will this fractured group ever be get go from here? We'll have to wait and find out. I don't know. Is it on next week? I don't think it's on next week, actually. I think this is like the. I think the break begins for Vanderpump Rules. But either way, it's a fun, stupid fight capping off an episode of lots of Stupid little Fights. And I'm highly entertained.

[Aya]

Yeah, good times. All right, everybody, thank you so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

[Michelle]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Aya]

Our way is the Amber Way.

[Michelle]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Karlie Clapp.

[Aya]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Michelle]

Big Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie. She has no less namey she's our kind of mess.

[Aya]

It's Jennifer Messer Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot.

[Michelle]

She's our favorite streamer Caroline Peacock.

[Aya]

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera would ever will be Will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Michelle]

This is Living with Michelle Vivian.

[Aya]

I love Aya Olivia Williamson.

[Michelle]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Aya]

Yes, we can. It's Savannah.

[Michelle]

Cast a spell with Shannon. Spell woman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Aya]

Darn skippy. It's Tippy. And our super Premium sponsors.

[Michelle]

Make way for A.J. lopez.

[Aya]

She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Michelle]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Aya]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Michelle]

Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.

[Aya]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with crazy Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Michelle]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Aya]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Michelle]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo.

[Aya]

She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock in the study with.

[Michelle]

A candlestick It's Leslie Peacock. G D. It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani.

[Aya]

The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

[Michelle]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Aya]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Telefson.

[Michelle]

Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[Aya]

She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys. If you like, watch what crappens. You can listen ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.