Ben (2:38)

But it's.

Ronnie (2:38)

It was fun to make fun of.

Ben (2:40)

Just doubt. It's just doubt. Nothing. It's just Mrs. Doubt. It definitely does not reach the Same Heights as Mrs. Doubtfire, but again, the snowboarding academy, that's fun and hijinx and yeah, we have a fun time. We have actually a really fun time recapping it. We do every single year when we do this, the four of us get on the mic and we chat for four hours or more because we have so much fun cracking each other up. It's always a miracle that we even get through the entire movie.

Ronnie (3:11)

Yeah. Super fun time. So check that out. That'll be for four of the days. And then we're re releasing some classic episodes, some Real Housewives of New York at Christmas time. And then we'll have a classic bonus episode next week wherein we rank the Alphabet letters and we're bitches about it. Okay. The letter J, as I recall, doesn't end up winning any prizes. So join us. We'll be here all next week doing that stuff. So those of you newer especially, they'll all be new to you.

Ben (3:40)

Okay?

Ronnie (3:41)

Yeah. And then we'll be back the following week to tackle eight zillion Bravo shows that will be on a double recap of the Valley. I mean, not the Valley, the Valley. Persian style. There's so much coming up. But you know what? Let's not think about that because we're about to party our face.

Ben (3:58)

You're going to par t. It's going to be so great. I'm so excited. And you know what a great way to send us off into our holiday break than with a particularly crazy episode of Below Deck Med. This is one that we've been bracing for for a while, for a very long time, the poop episode. And it arrived and it was as visceral as we expected. And. And there was other crazy stuff that happened. A crazy cliffhanger. I. I'm going to say, I think that. I think this season of Blow Deck Met is officially a really good season. I'm not going to harp on how it's so much better than the last season of Below Deck, but I guess I just did. But I really am enjoying this Below Deck. I feel like every episode I. I'm like, kind of, like, fired up a bit and that that's the best sign for a Below Deck episode.

Ronnie (4:46)

There was a lot of drama happening on the Internet yesterday over this episode because Kathy posted something in the morning on her Instagram that was like, oh, hello. Oh, I've been dreading. This EP is going to be the most painful episode of the year for me. Please. I know you're all there for me and support me hearts. And so people are like, oh, my God, what happened to Kathy? Was this an ep? Was this like a sexual Harassment thing, like the below deck down under thing that happened a few years ago was this, you know, who was mean to Kathy. So everybody was online trying to figure out what happened to Kathy, and the guesses were wild, you know, and horrible. And so everybody was ready for this hue. And then there was kind of a turn against Kathy because people were like, wait a minute. If this is all about the poop in the shower drain and she's trying to get everybody all riled up. Fudge Kathy. Then, you know, there was some. You know, the Internet, there's. The comments are from lover to hater. Even though something traumatic just could have happened. And I thought, man, this girl is really stirred up a lot of drama. What if it is the poop in the drain? And so I was watching the whole episode like, oh, my God, I hope it's more than the poop in the drain, because Kathy is really going to get dragged. And then it was, you know, then it was a death in the family, which was so sad. But I was like, what a horrible ending to this. Like, it was something really terrible and horrible for her, but it was also. She had so much of the country being like you, Kathy, like, so much. So many people were ready to pounce on Kathy.

Ben (6:14)

Yeah. And also to be on the poop episode, like, what are the odds that. That they were like, you have this episode that is all about poop, and then it ends on this really serious note. I was just not expecting that whatsoever. I was expecting something stupid because they were sort of, like, gearing up for, like, Max was complaining about Nathan being irresponsible, and I thought the cliffhanger was gonna be Max having, like, a hissy fit on the picnic. And then it just took that turn. I was like, oh, my God. It's like this episode does everything. It's wild.

Ronnie (6:44)

Yeah. Yeah. I really didn't like it because it was about poop, which I hate poop. I hate it. I. It's one of the most. I mean, it's literally the most disgusting thing that people do. And I hate talking about it in real life. I hate that we have to talk about it for 18 hours today. And I also hate that it's obviously the gay guy that did it. It's obviously clearly the gay guy in the tattoo Joaquin who did it, which also really pissed me off. Like, we're going through a rough time in this country right now, sir. We don't need. You know. I know. Respectability politics be damned. Okay. Stop pooping in drains. What are you doing?

Ben (7:18)

We know you're pooping in drains. Yeah, and you would be so proud of me, Ronnie, because I immediately went and I looked up what sort of narcotics could cause someone to poop uncontrollably. And guess what the. You know what the answer is because you're Ronnie. You know, like for the rest of.

Ronnie (7:36)

Us, the good old, the good old.

Ben (7:39)

Cocaine, the illegal drugs most associated with causing need to defecate by this is according to Google AI are stimulants, primarily cocaine and methamphetamine. That goes right away. It just came up. It just says cocaine. Like in big letters. It says cocaine is a well known stimulant that can induce bowel movements shortly after use. The reasons for this effect include blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm not saying that that's what happened, but I just felt like doing that research after watching the episode for some strange reason.

Ronnie (8:08)

Yeah, well, there. Now you know, you know, if you ever need to clear out. Why take fiber when there's cocaine?

Ben (8:14)

I will also say that, you know, we, we had, we had dinner with Asia back in June and she was like this, she basically told a story. She said like, I, like, she once had to like, you know, grab poo out of a shower drain. And so we were, we sort of knew something like this would be coming. But, you know, of course we didn't say anything because, you know, etc, you know, we don't want to spoil anything and it's not right. But she definitely was. Her tales of it were so. They've stuck with me all this time for months and months and months. So finally to see this episode, I was like, oh my God, like, I've been waiting for this. I was like, I need to see how this happened. I also need to see who did it. I need to see this cast of characters who may have pooped in this drain. And you know, it. Definitely. This was one of the most disgusting things that Bravo has ever aired.

Ronnie (9:13)

I mean, Christmas week too. Like, come on, man. Really?

Ben (9:18)

I hope I, I hope again, like, it could have been any of those people. But we know it's the guy. We know it's the guy with the mustache.

Ronnie (9:24)

We know it's the gay. It's the cokehead gay with the mustache and the tutu. I mean, he was wearing. It is.

Ben (9:30)

He was literally wearing a T shirt that said whip it. Whip it real good. Okay? Spelled whip it. Like W H, I, P P E T. Okay? And like this guy, this guy shat in the shower and crammed it into the drain. We all know it And H had to reach in up to her elbow to get it out. Okay, it's out there. And if he didn't do it, then he better point fingers at someone else on his. On of his crew, because right now, offer it's clearly him. Every single time they. Every single time they're like, who did this? The camera would just like, would just pan over to him. It was like, obvious that the editors were signaling it too. Right. Despite the little, like, who done it, it was clear every single time they would just show the guy.

Ronnie (10:12)

But wow, my gosh.

Ben (10:14)

Disgusting.

Ronnie (10:15)

Just so gross. Okay. Yeah. You know why I'm pausing? Because I was of course looking to see if anybody posted about this. Like, you know, when the guests start, like, this was editing. And I. How dare you? How dare you suggest that I even pooped in the shower. And I cannot find anything. I don't see any Joaquin denying anything online. That doesn't mean it's not happening. It was just a one page search. But.

Ben (10:42)

But, you know, like on Drag Race, isn't there something called, like, after the tuck or beyond the tuck or untucked? Like, why? I still. I want that for some of these guests. I want some of these guests to have to answer to their behavior, where they have someone sits down and says, okay, so what was going on with the poop in the shower?

Ronnie (10:57)

Just, like, amazing idea. Actually, I think we just gave Bravo another after show. Go steal it from us. Bravo, go ahead.

Ben (11:03)

Yeah, steal it. Because there have been. There have been too many. You know, some guests are like, fine. They're like, whatever. I don't need to hear from them. But there are, like, many that I. I really need to hear. I want them to be shamed. I feel like they come and they go and, you know, we all shame them on, like, on social media, but we never hear from them. We never see from them. Like, we. I need them to be, like, sat down in a chair with a camera on and a bright light and answer for their behavior.

Ronnie (11:31)

Well, you know, the other thing about this that was really upsetting is whenever something happens on a show and then it happens in our personal life, it's like something that we have to say. Well, this happened to me too. And this is when it happened to me. Right. Like, it naturally is kind of what we do on this show. And I do have a poop in the shower story. And I was like, really? So now I have to share a poop in the shower story? Come on. Okay, so I have to tell you. So I was probably 12 and I was with my family. We went to Florida and we stayed at this hotel. It's a regular hotel, nothing fancy. And my parents really wanted to go to karaoke. Like, that's when karaoke became really big. My mom was obsessed. Like, she literally stayed at this place only to do karaoke because they had karaoke in the hotel lobby or whatever bar, whatever restaurant. So they're excited. They're like, hurry up, Ronnie, hurry. We're going to karaoke. I don't want to miss. Like, my mom's really into karaoke. So I do like 12 or whatever. So I'm like, I got to poop. So I went into the bathroom and so I sit down, I start. And then the window was open. I noticed that there's a window in the bathroom and it's open. And I'm like, who has a window in a hotel bathroom? But you know, Florida. So I got. I was like, what if someone see, you know, it's 12. So I'm like, what if somebody passes by and they see me pooping? So I got up to close the window and I like, kind of. It was over the shower. So I like, stand on the bathtub, you know, reach over my little chubby 12 year old self, close the thing, whatever. So then we go, you know, everything's fine. So then we go to karaoke. I bomb, by the way, I basically shot on the karaoke stage. It was terrible vocally. And then we go back to the room and my mom screams and she's like. And we're like, what happened? And she goes, someone pooped in the shower. She called everybody she could call. I'm surprised she didn't call the FBI. Like, everybody showed up that could possibly be called. She's freaking out on them, crying, losing her mind, which she'll do anyway. But we move hotel rooms. My mom talked about it for years. Can you believe this disgusting hotel? I mean, they were lucky that that was before Yelp. And it really didn't dawn on me until like a lot later that that was probably me. I was. I was like, right in the middle of starting, and I never admitted it. I never admitted it to this day. It's like one of these things I take to the grave. And, you know, my mom is not doing so well. She's got an illness right now, so it's really bad. And I'm like, do I have to confess this to my mom? And I will not do it.

Ben (14:03)

I think it would bring her extreme joy to know I have a. Finally an answer to the peep saga. Like, who would do that? How did that happen? It's all out now.

Ronnie (14:15)

There you go.

Ben (14:16)

It's all out now. It's gonna. It's gonna get leaked.

Guest or Additional Speaker (14:19)

Pun intended.

Ben (14:20)

To your mom.

Ronnie (14:21)

I'm literally blushing. That was. It happened when I was 12. But you see the shame. Can you imagine? It's all these years later. It's 38 years later, and I'm still mortified. I can't even.

Ben (14:29)

How does it feel?

Ronnie (14:30)

It was.

Ben (14:30)

How's it feel?

Ronnie (14:34)

I don't have the relief of telling the story. I thought I would feel better all night. I was like, should I tell this? This is disgusting. Nobody needs to hear this. And I was like, but you're 12. Forgive yourself. It's time to forgive your. It's not. You don't forgive yourself. I'm still not over it. So. I was traumatized by this episode.

Ben (14:49)

Wow. This really brought up a lot. I shocked. We don't have a poop in the shower store. I've got other poop stories. I have a tragic story about pooping, I think. Did I say this on a bonus episode once about pooping my pants and driving back from Arizona once? That was really one of the very worst things that ever happened to me. Where I. I was driving back from Tucson, and I was with three friends. We were driving together, and we stopped in Palm Springs to have dinner, and we were getting gas, and I let out, like, the tiniest little fart at the gas station while doing the gas. And I was like, whoop. That does not feel right. That doesn't feel right. So I sat there with my butt clenched and, like, for, like, the next five minutes as we went over to the. We got to the restaurant, and I was like. And I was like. But I wanted to be a chill about it. So, you know. But was super clenched. Super clenched. We sit down at the table, and I'm like, I. I'm like, excuse me, where's the bathroom? And they're like, it's right over there. And for whatever reason, this restaurant in Palm Springs, in order to get to the bathroom, you have to cross over a tiny bridge. Like, you're in a Japanese tea garden in front of the entire restaurant. So I'm, like, walking like my. But my butt clenched on display. And because I. In my mind, I'm like, are the back of my pants brown? I have no idea. And I'm just, like, over this little bridge, and then I get to the bathroom, and, like, someone is in the stall, and they're doing who knows what and they're there forever. And I'm just standing there, and then there's another guy. And it looked like I was cruising the bathroom because it's Palm Springs. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Please just let me go. And. And it was. And it was a really unpleasant experience.

Ronnie (16:30)

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Ben (16:34)

But just the fact that I had to walk over a tiny bridge in my. In my poop shame. I was like, why? Why do I have to cross a bridge in front of all the diners? Like, what if. What about poo stains?

Ronnie (16:45)

The worst. Oh, my gosh. All right, so, you know, humans poop. Joaquin. Okay, but don't shove it down the thing. I mean, my God, you embarrassed us all, sir. So here we go. Season 10, Episode 13 the Poop A Traitor, it's called. And Gail is just coming to the boat for the poop episode. I'm so happy for her.

Ben (17:04)

Yes.

Ronnie (17:04)

Like, sweet angel Gail, Little angel. Sweet little Gail coming back for the poop episode. So she's coming. And what's his buns, who's just made out with Kizzy, like, two days ago. And also, like, went on some horrible racist tirade recently in the news. We've been getting a lot of emails about Nathan as well. So listen, you know, I know what Nathan and he. There's all these articles, like, what hero, Irish hero, saves people in the horrible tragedy? No one is denying that that was a tragedy. Stop it. We're not saying that. What we're saying is you can do a good thing, but then also follow it up with a very bad thing, which he did.

Ben (17:40)

Yeah, you can still be shitty.

Ronnie (17:41)

You know, you still don't go on a racist tirade. It's like, it doesn't absolve you from doing something good. The emotions were heightened. Yes, I get it. You know, people who are saying that. I get it. It was still shitty. It was a shitty thing to say, and then he came out and doubled down on it later in the week. So. Stop it. Like, that's. It's just shitty, period.

Ben (17:57)

It's really shitty. You know, it really is.

Ronnie (18:00)

Just to answer that stuff.

Ben (18:02)

Yeah, absolutely. I. I 100 still stand in our declaration that it was shitty. A shitty thing to do on an episode about. So Gail is here again, is here, and they hug, and everyone's happy and everyone's watching, and, you know, Nathan takes out an umbrella. I'm. The thing that I was focusing on was what is going on with Gail's bag? It looked like a guitar bag or Was it a golf bag? It had this, like, long tennis bag. What was that? What was in her bag? Why was it. Why was it. Why did it have a tall part in the back? I couldn't figure it out. Was it a tennis. But did she have tennis rackets? Was she going to tennis? Yeah.

Ronnie (18:38)

Thought it was a racket bag, but that's probably too big to be a racket bag, right?

Ben (18:41)

I was like, what is in there? What's. What is? What is. Why does Gail have such a strangely shaped bag? Or was she like, oh, I can't.

Guest or Additional Speaker (18:48)

Find my normal bag. I have to take my tennis bag.

Ben (18:50)

Then she doesn't have a racket in there. Because then Nathan kept on hugging her, and he was hugging around it, so it was empty. That whatever was up there, because he was crushing it. I spent a lot of time observing the situation.

Ronnie (19:01)

Yeah, I did, too. I noticed that, too. I was like, is there a lot of tennis playing on this? But is it to kiss Captain Sandy's ass? Because she likes that Fernandez Gigi Fernanda. I always want to call her Geraldine Ferraro. Gigi, sure.

Ben (19:14)

She would like that.

Ronnie (19:15)

I have. I have on this show many times.

Ben (19:17)

Gigi's like, oh, man. To be confused for a hot bitch like Geraldine Ferraro, That's a compliment. I think I have a picture with Geraldine Ferraro from, like, 1985.

Ronnie (19:29)

Wow.

Ben (19:29)

Which I just wanna. Just wanna brag.

Ronnie (19:31)

I wish that was when you pooped your pants.

Ben (19:34)

Who says I didn't?

Ronnie (19:37)

That would have been an amazing one. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. So everybody's watching this. Like, it's like they are just seeing the most romantic ending to a movie they've ever seen. They're all standing there. Max is, like, crying. He's, like, taking pictures on his phone of it. And they're hugging and whatever. Everybody's, like, happy. And then Asia's. You know, everybody's happy. Gail's there. I mean, I don't know. What do you want me to say? It's a parade for Gail.

Ben (20:11)

Girl's very happy.

Ronnie (20:13)

She's.

Guest or Additional Speaker (20:13)

She's like, I'm really excited to come back to the mid. It's been almost. This has been almost 10 months since I've been seen Nathan. And unfortunately, it all ended. Hardly ended bad. But life goes on, and I want to move forward in a very professional, platonic Mina.

Ben (20:27)

So then everyone's, like, crying, and everyone.

Ronnie (20:30)

We're gonna make up over a game of tennis. Captain sand she said plutonic, which I like Plutonic. Oh, yeah. She's like, I wanna, like, I want this to be plut. So everybody, you know, Asia, of course, is standing there like. Like a little doggy when you're. When you're home, coming home from work, just wagging her tail, just wiggling her whole body.

Ben (20:58)

And Sandy's like, hey, check out Nathan is. He's a bosin. Now, isn't that great? Isn't that great, Gail? He's a boson.

Guest or Additional Speaker (21:04)

Oh, I know. Congratulations.

Ben (21:06)

And so then they are, like, just smiling at each other, and it's cute. And of course, Kizzy is, like, super angry. She's downstairs. She's not even there to see it, but she's just standing at a counter and she's like, what the. Is that what's happening upstairs? And Joe's like, it's Gail. Gail. This is Gail's bag. Nathan's. Gail, she's here. Look how strange her bag is called. I knew I'd have hated this girl for a reason. She can't even bring the red bag onto her boot.

Ronnie (21:30)

Joe, why are you, for one charter. And so she kids. He's like, oh, Gail, you know, she's like, oh, Gail's here. Does your little eye roll? Oh, Kizzy. It's so fun to watch Kizzy lose every single week. I mean, I've never seen somebody try harder and just fail harder than Kizzy, and it's glorious. Every single week, she fails even harder. I mean, how can you up the amount of fail that this girl is doing on the show? Love to see it.

Ben (21:58)

Yeah. So then Gail meets Kathy, and there's, like, a lot of chatter. And then Joe is outside talking to Nathan, and Joe's like, how are you feeling, mate? And Nathan's like, God, mate, brought a tear to my eye. He's like, how are we going back to the doctor day?

Guest or Additional Speaker (22:13)

Do you think so?

Ben (22:13)

It's a change. Oh, God. Gail and I, we not done. By the way, have you noticed that, like, when Joe does his, like, confessionals, he talks in this, like, hush tone, as if he's like, yeah, at a museum. He's like, yeah, Gail and I, we're not in a good place. There's multiple reasons. I don't know what it's about with her, but I think she doesn't really respect me. Like, she doesn't, like, because of, like, you know, what I've done, like, to the girls and stuff. So, like, since last season, her perspective of me and my perspective is just never caught on. Like, oh, so she doesn't like how you treat other women because you treat them badly. So you don't like her because she sees you for exactly who you are. That's. That's why. Exactly the worst.

Ronnie (22:52)

Yeah. Your perspective is that you're you. You're horrible to women, which you are still to this day, by the way. You've actually one upped yourself, just like Kizzy. You've one upped yourself in how horrible you are.

Ben (23:03)

Yeah, you're horrible to women. And then you don't like that she sees that you're horrible to women, so you're horrible to her, which is further evidence that you're horrible to women. Yeah.

Ronnie (23:13)

Yeah. And he's like, but, you know, I'm good mates with Nathan, so I don't want this to be a bad thing for the deck. Team her. So now Gail is changing, and Kathy's talking to her, and she's like, well, I've heard some. A little. Someone's a bit more excited than others to see you. Is that right? So you're hated by the teeth Tutter, eh?

Guest or Additional Speaker (23:34)

And Gail's like, who are you talking about? No idea. I'm so honored to. And so privileged to have Captain Sandy, you know, call me up in a time of need. Since stepping off my ot, my, I've not stopped learning. I did my dive masters, then I became a scuba diving instructor. I studied a little bit. I got an ice cream machine and I studied that manual. I can make really good ice cream now. Got a blender. I haven't looked at that manual, but I think it's pretty simple. You just press the on button. I've been become really good at a lot of different things.

Ronnie (24:00)

I can put together IKEA furniture now. Quicker. Quicker than ever. Studied that quite a bit. Really did a lot of work with the L wrench.

Guest or Additional Speaker (24:09)

Did you know you hold them by the loopy things, not the sharp things. It's game changer. I learned so much.

Ronnie (24:15)

When you carry a knife, you should carry it the blade facing your elbow instead of out because you could hurt somebody.

Guest or Additional Speaker (24:22)

Turns out irons are not what you put charcuterie on.

Ronnie (24:28)

So Nathan's like, I'm having heart palpitations. And Aisha says, focus. This could be the first day of the rest of your life. Go tell her what to do.

Ben (24:40)

She, like, she says that and like, you know, in a rom com, like, like, what are you doing here, bro? Go on and get her. Get her. Bring her back. You know, it's like she's leaving on a train, but like, the below deck version is like, what are you doing here? Talking?

Guest or Additional Speaker (24:53)

Go and give her a shammy.

Ben (24:55)

It's like, that's like. That's the romantic overture. It's like, it's like an officer and a gentleman.

Ronnie (25:04)

So we find out that Max has not put a trash bag in the trash can. And so Joe's like, maximus, come on here. And he's like, sorry, supreme needle they can do. So Max is still bitter. And then we see everybody getting ready for the charter. Gail's getting a tour of the boat. Gail and Nathan are giggling and all that good stuff. And then, you know, and I have to say, I really like Gail. Don't really like Nathan. But what I really hate love stories on the boat. I hate love stories on the boat. It's like my least favorite part of below deck. I like the messiness when they're fucking with each other, not fudgeing each other, but, like, making each other cry and stuff. But I hate, like, happy love, happy love stories. I just don't like. I don't like them in real life, and I don't like them on the boat.

Ben (25:49)

Mm. Yeah, I, you know, I mean, I agree. I actually largely agree. I don't. I don't think I've ever really bought into any blow deck romance. I'm trying to think of any. I think they. It's just. It's just not the show for it. You know, it was. It was sort of cute, like, taking out the. What we know about Nathan now when Captain Sandy said, Gail's coming on the boat. And, like, seeing Nathan's, like, uncontrollably smiling, like, that was actually very sweet. But then, like, that just kind of. I don't know, it like. Like, it was like a momentary. It was like a. It was a ephemeral moment of sweetness that just became more fodder for below deck. Like, I. I just.

Ronnie (26:30)

I'm with you.

Ben (26:30)

I'm just not here for the love story at all.

Ronnie (26:32)

Yeah, get rid of it, because it never works out. Annoying.

Ben (26:34)

Never works out. Like, everyone's like, everyone. So the thing is this. This show has really leaned into the love story with these two. Because we started off the entire season, they already showed us that the baby's on its way. Like, the baby is born. So they're like, oh, my God, a below deck baby. This is so exciting. They're really leaning into the blow deck babiness of it all. But don't we know the first rule of being a boson on below deck is that you've Left a baby behind in Florida. So, like, this is not gonna end well.

Ronnie (27:03)

This is seeding a very bad story for.

Ben (27:06)

This is like a prequel.

Ronnie (27:07)

This is like, it seems so nice, but it's really just the origin story of this baby being fucked up and below deck 20 and being like, oh, my dad left me. My dad had mug hair. That's all I know about him. Because it is. I mean, and the whole love story. I thought that the charter finished. They went, they had this mad romance. Something happened. We didn't know what really happened. But then we find out in this episode that they basically just travel six weeks together, which, I mean, is. Is a lot. I mean, I guess especially when you're young. It's intense, you know? So they traveled together for six weeks. She. They went home, he went back home, she went back home. They thought it was. Everything was great. And then she was calling him and he just ghosted her for like five days or something. And then she was like, is everything okay? Because I just want to know you're okay. And he's like, I can't do this. Like, you're nagging me. And then dumped her. So am I supposed to find this romantic? Because I would say never get back together with this person again. This, this. This is what it sounds like to me. This person basically had the hottest girl he's ever had or will ever get. Got six weeks of sex with this. In love with this hot girl. And then the second she required him to even just call her back, he was like, you, I'm going on the boat again, and maybe I'll be getting laid by somebody else. And I don't want you to pressure me because I'm on TV now so I can get laid all the time. And then basically did just that. Came on the boat, and then he ended up, you know, not having anybody that he could continuously bang because all he had left was Kizzy, and let's face it, she's a grab bag of terrible. And so now he's going back to her. So to me, this isn't a romantic story. So I really don't like that they're editing it like, oh, my God, what a romance. Because to me, it's not as gross.

Ben (28:52)

Yeah, I agree. And this is, by the way, I don't think this is the first blow deck, baby. I think that honor goes to JP and Danny. Was. Were that those their names from below deck sailing. Remember that? The pregnancy of ill repute.

Ronnie (29:10)

Remember?

Ben (29:11)

He, like, he got. He knocked her up and then denied ever, like, knocking her up. And that was, like, one of the messiest things.

Ronnie (29:16)

Oh, yes, that's true.

Ben (29:19)

I forgot what a piece of that guy is.

Ronnie (29:21)

I'm just saying his mom was trying to make her take the. The test and all that. The DNA test or whatever.

Ben (29:27)

So, like, progress in that we have a baby that a below deci actually takes credit for. But, yeah, I. I just don't see this as being like, a great romance. I think this is like a nice. It's like a nice, you know, romance, and in some part of their lives, but now they're bound to each other for the rest of their lives, you know, one hopes. But, yeah, I'm. I'm not buying it either.

Ronnie (29:48)

Yeah, Settling for mediocrity. I'm not cheering this right before Christmas. That guy.

Ben (29:53)

No, I'm returning this. I'm getting this. I'm getting the gift receipt, and I'm sending it back. I'm bringing these two to Whole Foods. Okay. Taking the whole food, dropping them off. Yes.

Ronnie (30:05)

So guess what Sandy's doing. She's like, hey, come here. I want to show you something. You haven't caught up on wind in a while. Get over here. Let me show you on my little. My little iPad. Wind. Wind is coming. It's great.

Ben (30:17)

Yeah, there's a storm that's coming. Yeah, Storm is a stunt casting. It's played by Jennifer Aniston. Oh, she's gonna be great.

Ronnie (30:26)

Stormy Daniels wind. The Stormy Daniel season. So then Mason, played by Jennifer Anderson, of course.

Ben (30:35)

She does great work. You know, she's a lot more range than people give her credit for. People think Jennifer Anson can only do the. That like her voice, but she can do a lot more. She can do Stormy Daniels as a storm very well. Very convincing.

Ronnie (30:48)

So Nathan is showing Gail the emergency exit, which I suggest she uses immediately.

Ben (30:54)

Jump in the water. Yes.

Ronnie (30:55)

Yeah. Run. So the girl you replaced, I'm like.

Guest or Additional Speaker (30:59)

Covering for, not replaced.

Ronnie (31:01)

And he's like, okay, covering. Sorry. Well, her and Joe were playing around, and then she got sick and she missed the crew last night out. And then Joe hooked up with Kizzy, and she's like, oh, that's rough. He's already tattletailing on his best friend, which I loved. He's like, yeah, Joe's still a piece of shit. Be mean to him again. And she's like, well, that's rough. And he says, well, I've not kissed her on a night out. And she's like, don't make things weird.

Ben (31:26)

I'm just telling you. I want to be transparent. Like, the back of my head. And she's like, okay. And he's like, there's nothing to worry about.

Guest or Additional Speaker (31:33)

I'm not worried.

Ben (31:34)

It's like, I don't even speak to her.

Guest or Additional Speaker (31:35)

I really, like. I'm literally like super hot. I don't worry about things like this.

Ben (31:38)

But I'm just telling you, I'm not interested in Kizzy at all.

Guest or Additional Speaker (31:41)

It's really okay.

Ben (31:42)

I don't want to bang her again. I don't even want to have a threesome with the two of you.

Guest or Additional Speaker (31:45)

Okay, you can really stop now. Please. Really, please. That's enough.

Ronnie (31:50)

So then up on deck, Joe is really moody. He's like, pissed off. He does not like that she's even on the boat. This guy's such a piece of shit. What did that girl ever do to you? So all she said is you called her a princess and she said you're a dick. I mean, why is that. Why is that sending you over the edge? Yeah, I really.

Ben (32:07)

You insulted her first. First. That's the other thing. It's like you did the insult first. Every time they show that clip, it's like, I think you're a princess. Like, you started it. And then she called you started it. Yeah, she's allowed to. She's allowed to defend herself.

Ronnie (32:21)

So then Max is with Kathy. They're in bed cuddling, and he's got paper in his hand. And she's like, you know, I got a little bit emotional this morning. I've just never had someone get emotional. And he just. Oh, she founds her face. Like she's crying over Max, which is also disturbing. In love with Max for. What the hell is going on? Do you not see this man maybe, like, losing his mind because he wasn't made lead that can. Like, how do you find this attractive, Kathy? Come on, man.

Ben (32:47)

These people have all lost their mind. So Kathy's saying, I don't ever cry. And he's like, oh, my gosh, what is happening? She's like, I don't cry in front of anyone. I didn't cry in front of my ex boyfriends. I only cry in the car listening to music and getting to the place I need to go because I feel like I'm not wasting time. Then she's like, excuse me, I need to cry, but I'm going to wait until I do some errands. I like to multitask.

Ronnie (33:12)

That's how I do it, too. I'm emotionally. I'm emotionally British.

Ben (33:17)

Oh, yeah, that's. I wish I could be. I feel like I was at one point, but I'm such an easy crier now.

Ronnie (33:23)

It's crazy. I'll cry in movies and stuff like that, but, you know, or like a show or somewhere where, you know, you're, like, just sitting there and you can cry. But, yeah, mostly I. I just get in the car and cry. But the car is the best place to cry.

Ben (33:34)

Car is a good place to cry. Well, the best is when the car is a good place to cry because it also makes for really good content in an indie film. It's like, you're not making an indie film until you have someone cry in the car, Right?

Ronnie (33:47)

Yeah. And you have your whole soundtrack there, you know, because the phone's usually hooked up so you can play whatever song you want. Like, Easy to Be Hard from the movie of Hair.

Ben (33:54)

And I'm like, sometimes I like to go in the car and then pretend I'm Kevin Klein in the Ice storm and just cry at the steering wheel. That's also fun.

Ronnie (34:02)

Yeah. And also what's really fun about it is, especially if you're, like, sobbing, like, if somebody dies or something, and I really need to cry, I will go into the car and I'll drive. And it's like. It feels like it's private, you know, it's like, well, I'm in the car. But it's also the most performative place you can cry because people do look over and they're like, what the hell? And I'm not a pretty crier. I'm like, my whole face bloats up, my eyes almost close. And I'm just like, look, I look hideous. Not coming down my nose. And I'll just look at them like, you for watching me cry. Good. Suffer. Suffer from my crying. Like, Jesus.

Ben (34:35)

You know who cries in a car?

Ronnie (34:36)

So?

Ben (34:37)

Well, Joan Cusack. She can just wail in a car, Right. I feel like I've seen five movies where she's just driving and just, like, sobbing in a car. That's really her specialty. She can really drive through those tears. Like, I would have to. I would have to pull over because, like, I wouldn't be able to see. But she just can do it. Mouth, agape, everything. I mean, that is her sweet spot.

Ronnie (34:57)

Yeah. So Kathy is telling Max I'm secretly happy that Gail has Nathan and it's not some random girl that might like you. That's not going to happen. So you're safe. So, preference sheet. Meeting time. Pull that. The iPads. Okay. Whoa. It's a bunch of real estate people. Oh, yeah.

Ben (35:15)

Oh, well.

Ronnie (35:16)

Here we go.

Ben (35:16)

Here's the first sign. Here's the first bad sign.

Guest or Additional Speaker (35:19)

Okay. Colin owns 17 companies.

Ben (35:22)

Okay, so what, what sort of fraud is Carlin up to?

Ronnie (35:27)

Right?

Ben (35:27)

I mean, that's too many companies full of.

Ronnie (35:30)

Carlin's got some LLCs that she's got. She's got some LLCs for different properties that she's counting as separate companies or something.

Ben (35:38)

Carl, Carlin is like a shower drain on the show, full of. Okay, like this is a woman who has defrauded people. I'm telling you this right now. Which owns 17 companies. No, I mean like, yes, I agree with what you said. She just has opened up lots of little LLC is. But something is, something is fishy about this.

Ronnie (35:56)

Yeah. So she's chartering. She's chartering. Bravado with real estate brokerage company from Florida. So we know it's trouble because listen, real estate people, my family was all in real estate. And let me tell you, the most fucked up offices I've ever been in. Real estate offices. Those agents are crazy. And if anybody's going to shit in a drain, it's going to be a real estate agent on a party bender with the other real estate agents.

Ben (36:19)

Yeah, I don't know what it is, like the concept of like real estate, real estate in Florida, I think I feel like that's just always been linked with nefarious deeds, right? Like since like what the, the, the stock market crash, like 1929, Black Friday that was somehow linked to speculation of real estate in Florida. Like it all comes that back to real estate in Florida. 2008, Predatory lending, Florida real estate. It's all like. So when I find that there's someone who owns 17 companies doing real estate in Florida, I'm like, okay, we'll be seeing you again in a few years when, when, when, when the court reports come out.

Ronnie (36:55)

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. So Josh is saying that they've got a pescetarian, a vegan and some gluten freeze. And he's like, oh, God, not. Not a vegan again. And then we see a flashback to the guy being like, well, I'm vegan and you know, vegans make more effort towards our food. Oh, okay.

Ben (37:12)

She is that guy. That guy. Okay, so we see Carlin Newman. We see all of our whole preference sheet and everything. She loves a frozen Butterfinger, I'll tell you that much. And she loves Cheez Its and lots of other things.

Ronnie (37:26)

She hates her teeth.

Ben (37:28)

She hates her teeth.

Ronnie (37:29)

That's.

Ben (37:29)

That's what we.

Ronnie (37:30)

She hates Having healthy teeth.

Ben (37:32)

Yeah, that's. That's the takeaway. And Asia's like, carly would like to.

Guest or Additional Speaker (37:36)

Go all out with an 80s themed celebration. She would love to have Asian food. Food for dinner that night.

Ronnie (37:46)

Yeah. And then they want to see some lighthouse and they want. You know, there's this. All the stupid. They want to do. The 80s party is working my nerves already. And so now Kizzy is ironing, and Nathan's like, well, have you talked to V at all? She. Well, I think that Joe will speak to her when she's back. Poor V. Isn't it V's birthday too? Or is that tomorrow?

Ben (38:07)

The next day? The next day is V's birthday, which is what's crazy about Kathy losing a family member on that same day. So we then have Joe talking to Gail and everything, and he's like, first of all, like, when I got the news, I spots me gum out. It's like, oh, great. You're. You're. You. You do realize you're responsible for cleaning that up, right? And he's like, because obviously we had an ugg last season, you know, and the only bad thing that I had last season, regardless of what happened, is basically you. So, like, I'm carrying this energy of you being the worst thing that ever happened to me all of last year.

Ronnie (38:47)

She's like, oh, really? The worst thing that happened to you? You. You caused a huge storm of drama between two other girls as well. What are you talking about? The only bad energy was with Gail. That's not true. That's verifiably untrue, sir.

Guest or Additional Speaker (39:01)

Yeah, like, last season, I didn't really understand, like, when you are on saying something, it frustrates the hell out of me. And last season, that's how I felt. Like, I never meant to disrespect you or the lead deckhand. And I just felt like how I.

Ben (39:13)

Felt like I was being treated like, yeah, honestly. And I hate micromanagers, and I think I became the micromanager that I always hated. Like, I've done bad, and I just want to say I'm sorry. I've grown as a person. I'm like, doing that full 360 kind of thing. You know, that when you've done a360, it means you're in the same place as where you started. But that's okay, Joe, because that was true. But it was true.

Ronnie (39:35)

Yeah, that's a good call. And she's just smiling at him. But then it cuts to her talking to us, and she's like, jaws a Snake. He said, yeah, we're cool, but before. And he's gone behind my back and stabbed it. So I just don't trust him. And he's like, I still don't trust her. Because last charter. I didn't even say this for the good of Nathan at the time, but listen here. The fact that she's texting her boyfriend while playing with Nathan, she's cheated. She's a cheater. And I lose a lot of respect when people cheat. You know, once a cheat, always a cheat. Who?

Ben (40:06)

You.

Ronnie (40:07)

I know.

Ben (40:08)

Of all people saying this. Of all people.

Ronnie (40:12)

And Joe and your best friend Nathan was with somebody who was with. Already with somebody else. So how is he not a cheater?

Ben (40:20)

Yeah, so Joe is. The producer's like, not to be too harsh, which, by the way, be harsh. Producer. But what about what happened with you and Kizzy? He's like, yeah, well, so, you know, even though I'm not with. Hold on. I'm sorry. Hold on. I'll go. I'll go into the question. All right, I've got some. I've got some element. I've got something. Hold it, hold it. Okay, I can stick the landing. Okay. Once upon a time, there was no. No. Okay. Knock, knock. Who's there? Infidelity. No, no, that's not how I should do it. What?

Ronnie (40:46)

Why did she cross the road? No, no, no.

Guest or Additional Speaker (40:50)

Grandpapy.

Ben (40:51)

Okay, okay. So, okay, I've got some element of regret, but kissing Kizzy is not even the same. Realm girl is a cheater. But I'm actually a single man, so how can you put me as a cheater? It's very different for me. No, okay.

Ronnie (41:06)

No, not really. Because you were kissing that girl while she was crying and telling her, there's no one else for you. You're not interested in anybody else on the boat. You're just gonna be with her, which kind of would make you her boyfriend. So, yeah, you're a cheater.

Ben (41:20)

Yeah, you're a cheater. You just tried to make plans with her after the. The.

Ronnie (41:25)

The.

Ben (41:26)

The charter season's done. That is implying a certain level of equipment.

Ronnie (41:30)

You're a cheater and a pumpkin eater. So now Joe is complaining, or Josh is complaining about food present preferences. And Josh is like, wow, bro, you're Max. You're the nicest person I've ever met in my life. I need a hard work. And he's like, oh, I appreciate that. And he's like, yeah, you know, see, my problem is I think I'm a nice guy. You like women. Max is like, huh? And it just doesn't work in my favorite. Let me tell you what doesn't work in your favor. The clowning. The, the clown makeup is the worst. The, like, I, I came out with an album last year and here's my music video of me dressed as a clown singing. It's all of it. You're a cringy person, sir.

Ben (42:10)

I used to live on a commune. Here's the naked photo of me on the commune. You know, these things just sometimes, like, are a little bit of a turnoff to the type of girls that we've seen come on as stews on this on Blow Deck. You know, I just.

Ronnie (42:26)

Red flag when a guy says, yeah, girls don't like me because I'm just a nice guy and they just want. Which is basically what he's saying. And it's like, no, it's not the girl, it's you. Okay, Watch a show back and tell me you're not cringing, sir. Okay.

Ben (42:41)

Yeah, it's as simple as that.

Ronnie (42:44)

And also, just be yourself because who you're. Who you are is not this commune loving hippie with clown makeup. You're a psycho. You, you admitted to like, use you. You admitted to being the kind of person to grab your staff's head and shove it down on, on the counter or a hot plate. I think he got shoved on the hot plate, but he shoved his other people down on the counter or something. So you're a psycho. So if you just go into that, people will like you. Just be who you are. Just be yourself.

Ben (43:12)

Be you. And I'm, by the way, what I was trying to say before about like the girls that come on below deck, it says, I just feel like most people who would be interested in someone who lived on a commune and, or someone who dabbles in the fine or clownery arts just probably are not interested in also, like working on a yacht. I feel like, I feel like you're sort of like a counterculture kind of person who doesn't want to necessarily be part of a system that is serving, you know, the wealthy and the elite. So I just, I don't know why I felt like I'd need to clarify that. I was like, guys, I don't want to offend Kizzy guys. I want to make sure. But so the back to Joe and Max now talking. And Joe is like, I feel like I got something special going on. And Max like, oh, yeah, like with me, he's like, yeah, I've just got like a mental block. He's like, oh, man. To look, he's like. I go, no. You know, because between me and you. Oh, then, then, well, I'm sorry. Then Nathan tells Asia that they kissed. And Asia's, you know, basically like, you know, not surprised, but I am disappointed. And. And I think it was around here, but maybe it was later. It's probably multiple times where Joe is like, she's more of a relationship sort of girl. I don't know if I'm ready yet. It's like, of course he's gonna say that. Of course he's gonna pull out that whole, like, oh, she really wants to. She really wants to go fast. And I'm just. I can't go fast like that because I'm not a cheater.

Ronnie (44:32)

Yeah, he's been setting it up for that this whole season. And here he is finally going up with his stupid plan. And also Nathan, you know, I have to say, like, Joe's. Joe's the one to blame here. Joe's the big in the situation. But Nathan, what is Nathan doing going around telling everybody his best friend's business? He's not. He's not a good friend either. Nathan, you know, he's like tattle tailing to literally all the girls. Now, about Joe, I mean, Joe deserves it. I'm not standing up for Joe. I'm just saying that Nathan's not really a good friend either. Like, he's not a good boyfriend and he's not really a good friend either. So what's the point of this guy? And he's not really good at his job. Like, what the hell?

Ben (45:10)

It's also going to be actually more like, normally I wouldn't care, but I think actually it's going to be more hurtful to V because it's a good chance that V will find out before, like, before Joe has a conversation with her. And on top of that, there's like that embarrassing thing of, like, everyone knows except for her. And so, like, it doesn't have to be that way if Nathan just sits on it until it comes out. But now he's going to tell Asia. It's just. It's going to get around and he's going to tell. And he's already told Gail, so it's just sort of shitty for V more so than anything else.

Ronnie (45:42)

But anyway, so Nathan is saying, well, I mean, it's also the time and because our fellows pass, an anniversary is coming up tomorrow and H is like. And her birthday.

Guest or Additional Speaker (45:50)

God, why can he just not keep.

Ronnie (45:52)

It in his pants? And then, so Captain Sandy's like, oh, hey, everybody. I don't know if you saw this. Wind is back on the air. We are not leaving the dock, okay? I got 10 episodes to watch. We're staying here tonight. All right, normal person, listen here. I'm sorry. I forgot your name. I'm just going to call you Muffin Top. It fits for anybody who really isn't on camera. So.

Ben (46:13)

Okay.

Ronnie (46:13)

We're not leaving the boat. Okay. Go to relax.

Ben (46:18)

It's gonna be a great, great episode of Wind. I don't know if you heard about this, but John Larroquette is going to be a guest star. And I just. I've been a big Larroquette head ever since 1987, so this is just a huge night for me. Can't wait.

Ronnie (46:32)

Oh, so let's see.

Ben (46:37)

Guest.

Ronnie (46:38)

Yeah, Guests start coming and stuff, and Waken is. Who's the gay in the tutu? Well, he puts on the tutu later, but he's like, I already found the tea that I want to.

Ben (46:49)

And Carlin's like, who? She's the blonde in the middle, which is Nathan. And Captain Sandy is like, okay. All right. Well, welcome to the motor yacht Bravado. Unfortunately, we are not departing the dock today. Okay? But first thing in the morning, we're going to check the weather, and then we'll take off. But you know what? Honestly, you don't even want to leave the dock because the episode of Wind that's happening tonight is. It's going to knock your socks off if the promos are to be believed. And I believe them because they're always true.

Ronnie (47:16)

Jennifer Aniston playing Stormy Daniels in Wind. Get with it. So it's the boat tour time, and so they're going through the boat tour, and the guests are just hilarious. Sick. Oh, my God. Queenie wants to be saved by the blonde man. He's like, yes. And then Joe and Max are sliding down the stair rails feet first, which is always fun. And, you know, Asia's showing out, showing them the hot tub and stuff. And one of the guys is like, me and you, baby, right here. And he's like, as long as you don't touch me under the water. He goes, what about above the water?

Ben (47:57)

So Joaquin, they're basically just all like, taking their big old, big old tour, going around and everything. Or Keen's wearing a captain's hat and he's like. He's on a jet ski, and he's like, photo. And Captain Sandy's like, hey, Nathan, are you wearing cologne? Is it because you're. Is it because Your last is on the boat. He's like, no, it's Tiger Balm. Yeah. And by Tiger Bomb, do you mean Obsession for Men by Calvin Klein? No, it's Tiger Bomb. You mean Eternity by Calvin Klein.

Guest or Additional Speaker (48:28)

No, Tiger Bomb.

Ben (48:29)

You mean white diamonds, traditionally for women. But you're changing standards, and you're up. You're. You're moving things around because. Why not? It's 20, 25. Huh?

Guest or Additional Speaker (48:38)

No, it's just Tiger Bomb.

Ronnie (48:40)

Yeah. I've never heard of someone wearing Tiger Bombers cologne. Although Norma does wear Preparation Age behind her ear.

Ben (48:50)

God bless her. God bless her ears. That never look better, though. So Gail is. They're cleaning and more cleaning, and the rain is gonna come. And. And so basically, Gail is like, we should go check that deck to see if it's clean. And maxi. Hey, it's nice. It's clean. It's raining, so of course it's clean.

Guest or Additional Speaker (49:09)

She's like, I know, but it's still my first day. Still trying to be a good girl, you know, And.

Ben (49:14)

But of course, Max don't. Just wants to slack off and, like, put his feet up because his whole thing is that he's tired this episode.

Ronnie (49:20)

Yeah. And so let's see. So Gail is saying, day one, I was so stoked to come see you guys. Nathan especially Asia. And he's like, oh, really? What about me? Thanks for now. So then Max is muttering to himself on the deck. He's like, oh, you do you pay me for these me over? So he gets too relaxed with his girlfriend on dark. And what do I do, huh? Look at me, so professional. I just came down the stairs on the wedding with my feet, but okay, I'm not president. Fine. Guillotine.

Guest or Additional Speaker (49:52)

Guillotine.

Ben (49:54)

Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alice and block.

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