Watch What Crappens #3132

Crappens Rewind: My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (Part 1)
Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam | Paige Weldon guests
Released: December 24, 2025

Episode Theme

The hosts embark on their first-ever nature documentary recap with "My Octopus Teacher," the acclaimed (and meme’d) Netflix doc. With Paige Weldon joining Ben for this bonus episode, they deliver their signature mix of Bravo-style banter, affectionate mockery, emotional outbursts, and comedic tangents, all focused on Craig Foster’s underwater odyssey and his unlikely quasi-love story with an octopus. The episode blends humor, pop culture riffs, and genuine reflection on the doc’s emotional impact.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Initial Impressions & Motivation

• Choosing the Doc: Ben was drawn in by "My Octopus Teacher"’s buzz—especially after seeing Southern Charm’s Cameron cry over it (03:05). Paige initially dismissed it as silly, but ended up in tears, reflecting the doc’s unexpected emotional depth (02:48).
• First Nature Recap: They’ve covered nearly everything else ("except new Vanderpump Rules"—Ben, 03:48), but never a nature documentary, making this adventure feel suitably ridiculous, sweet, and ripe for Crappens treatment.

2. Craig Foster, Aquatic Oddball

• Childhood in Chaos: Craig’s upbringing was “dominated by the rocky shore and the tide” (Craig, 08:43), growing up in a submerged bungalow—a detail both hosts mercilessly roast for its dysfunction and emotional effect ("What about your toys?!"—Ben, 09:54).
• Career Burnout & Depression: The doc’s framing is about Craig’s struggle after years as a daring nature filmmaker, leading to physical and emotional exhaustion ("life caught up with him...adrenal failure"—Ben, 14:08).
• Return to the Sea over, say, Zumba: Instead of “signing up for Zumba,” Craig copes by swimming daily in the dangerous, freezing Cape of Storms (15:25–16:15). The hosts lampoon this as a melodramatic, over-the-top midlife response.

3. Immersive Underwater Imagery & Animal Antics

• Gorgeous Cinematography: Multiple times, Paige & Ben praise the doc’s visuals—“Stunningly gorgeous” (Paige, 17:13), “could just put on mute and be zenned out” (Ben, 06:09).
• Marine Life as Housewives Party: The duo anthropomorphize sea creatures:
  • Students dumbly checking out a "shell-ball" as foolish party guests ("Fish are dumb...tricked all the time"—Ben, 26:09).
  • Comparing jellyfish to used party favors—and their predators to Real Housewives drama ("Basically Ramona's birthday party."—Paige, 20:45).
• Animal Detours: Tangents explore whether fish/jellyfish feel pain, animal cognition, and marine dietary chains ("Who wants to eat a gooey jellyfish? Pretty much everyone in the ocean."—Ben, 22:01).

4. Octopus Teacher: Meet Patty LuPone

• First Encounter: Craig spies a “ball of shells”—actually, an octopus’s crafty camouflage (25:31). Ben likens this fashion-forward behavior to Patti LuPone in eveningwear (29:58).
• Octopus Hiding Tactics: The octopus dazzles with her resourcefulness—wrapping herself in algae, changing color/texture, and blowing ink for escape ("That's so Patti LuPone—to be just like, take a jar of ink...throw it in your face while she runs away."—Ben, 30:55).
• Octopus as Broadway Star: Throughout, the octopus is called "Patti,” and her behaviors are reimagined as theatrical performances ("She walks like a lady"—Paige, 41:22).

5. Developing the Cross-Species Friendship

• Emotional Build-up: The hosts mirror the doc’s slow-building trust between man and mollusk:
  • “It was like a rescue dog, slowly warming to him…” (Paige, 38:33).
  • They note when both viewers and octopus get emotionally hooked (Ben: “Did you cry at this part?” Paige: “Yes…” 37:45).
• Questioning Motives: While reveling in cuteness, they sardonically question if they're reading too much into animal behavior ("Am I projecting human aspects...?"—Ben, 38:13).
• Physical Interaction: Patty begins to touch, cling to, and even ride Craig’s hand and chest ("There’s no greater feeling on earth"—Craig Foster, 51:11). Paige describes this as undeniable pet-like affection, which elicits tears.

6. The Ticking Clock & Impending Tragedy

• Octopus Lifespan: Craig reminds, forebodingly, that octopuses live only a year or so (41:56), setting up heartbreak.
• Dangers & Dramatic Night Hunts:
  • At night, Patty morphs into a sassy diva hunting under murky moonlight ("Patty performs only at night. She's not a matinee person."—Ben, 58:01).
  • Sharks (nicknamed "Jill Zarin" and "pajama sharks") are compared to bumbling TV villains (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's family, Home Alone's burglars).
• First Attack:
  • In a nail-biting close call, a pajama shark bites off one of Patty's arms while Craig stands by, torn over intervening. The hosts vent genuine sadness and growing frustration at Craig's passive role ("Sorry I let your arm get eaten off...Can I give you a ride home?"—Paige, 62:22).

7. Ethics & Anthropomorphism

• Interfering or Observing?:
  • Craig’s constant angst about interfering is skewered ("Don’t talk about interfering, because you already done it..."—Ben, 58:33).
  • The hosts explore the ethical tangle—when does a documentarian’s emotional involvement justify breaking the "nature" rule?
• Octopus as Netflix Reality Star:
  • They cook up a fake version of the documentary from Patty’s point-of-view ("Her documentary: 'I pretended to be nice…then woke up and he comes barging towards me...I’m done.'"—Ben, 45:20).

8. Comedy Breaks & Pop Culture Flair

• Bravo/Housewives/Jokes:
  • Sea creatures are recast as Housewives ("Ramona’s birthday party," “Brandi Glanville” admissions, etc.).
• Meta-References & Running Gags:
  • Ben and Paige riff on Craig’s snobbery (his “rimless glasses” mean “truly evil people”—Paige, 12:50), and his over-dramatic narration style.
  • Ongoing bits about real estate, the sadness of edit bays, and Patty as a stage icon keep the tone buoyant.
• Self-deprecating Contradictions:
  • Compassionate vegetarian angst is juxtaposed with jokes about grilled octopus cravings at Greek restaurants.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "No, there's a line that can't be crossed. You cannot have sex with the octopus. You cannot."
  — Ben Mandelker, joking about the doc’s intimacy (06:49)

• "I am just like that octopus. I'm even made of jelly. I could probably hide in a rock really fast."
  — Paige Weldon, relating to the cephalopod (05:28)

• "If you spent less time tracking and more time out with people, you would have found cocaine, okay?"
  — Paige Weldon, re: Craig’s addictive thrill-seeking (16:48)

• “She was like, she goes to this huge algae tree and wraps herself in it and then peeks out with her little crazy alien eyes.”
  — Paige Weldon (29:51)

• "[Octopuses] can look spiky, look smooth, look sexy, look beguiling. They can wear flats, they can wear tap shoes, they can wear a turban..."
  — Ben Mandelker (40:01–40:08)

• "Don't objectify me. You're octopusly objectifying me."
  — Paige Weldon, critiquing Craig's dismissiveness (54:35)

• "I'm looking at every shell she ate and the patterns she left...basically me playing Animal Crossing."
  — Ben Mandelker (48:21)

Select Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:48 — Paige confesses she sobbed over "My Octopus Teacher," launching the recap
• 06:49 — The hosts joke about perceived intimacy boundaries between Craig and the octopus
• 14:08 — Discussion of Craig's past, work burnout, and quest for meaning
• 25:29 — The discovery of the "shell-ball"—first appearance of the octopus
• 29:58 — Patti LuPone-inspired octopus fashion analogies
• 37:44–38:13 — Tearful bonding moment: octopus reaches out to Craig
• 41:56 — The octopus’s short lifespan and impending tragedy
• 59:40–61:28 — Shark attack: Patty loses an arm, hosts react with horror and guilt
• 62:57–63:42 — Craig’s existential crisis over responsibility for Patty’s injury
• 65:08 — Craig brings Patty a mussel to aid her recovery, prompting gendered relationship jokes

Tone & Language

The episode’s tone is classic Crappens: irreverent, affectionate, pop-culture-laden, and occasionally subversive. Ben and Paige alternate between genuine awe, empathetic tears, and snarky asides about both nature docs and themselves. Their language mixes sharp-witted mockery with sincere observation, always rooting the humor in a kind of brash, relatable sentimentality.

Conclusion

In this first part of their "My Octopus Teacher" coverage, Ben and Paige dissect Craig Foster’s lonely underwater healing and his unlikely cephalopod muse with equal parts Bravo-inspired comedy and surprising emotion. The episode spotlights the Crappens gift for making any subject—from octopus arms to pajama sharks to existential burnout—feel like it belongs in the same wild universe as Real Housewives drama. And by the end, listeners will find themselves, like Paige, “crying again,” rooting for Patty the octopus, and maybe wondering: “Are we really so different from a mollusk camouflaging in a sea of chaos?”

For part two, the saga continues—with more feels, more jokes, and, probably, more shark drama.