Watch What Crappens (#3138): Crappens Rewind: Ep 479 RHONY Would You Believe It? LuAnn Got Married!

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: December 31, 2025
Theme: A hilarious, affectionate recap and roast of a classic Real Housewives of New York City episode: Luann's infamous (and Bravo-cam-free) wedding, with all the delicious drama around it.

Episode Overview

In this "Crappens Rewind," Ben and Ronnie revisit the legendary RHONY episode featuring Luann’s much-anticipated wedding to Tom. The hosts provide their signature blend of loving mockery, impersonations, and tangents about the cast, the optics of Bravo weddings, and New York high society’s quirks. Listeners are treated not only to breakdowns and impressions from the actual episode, but also to the hosts’ ongoing personal banter and a surprise original "Luann wedding song."

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bravo-Obsessed Social Life Updates

• Ben and Ronnie recap their night out with Hannah from Below Deck Med (00:50)
  • Anecdotes about being overshadowed by LA “celebs” and the contrast with Bravo stardom.
  • “She was like, ‘I’ll just throw something on, I look like a hussy’—and she shows up looking gorgeous!” – Ben (01:06)
• Paparazzi culture and being ignored: “Like, literally, a bum would walk up to the restaurant, the paparazzi were taking photos. But like, me and Ronnie, no photos.” – Ben (02:34)

2. Frenchie's Breakfast—The Faux Romance

• The episode opens in Sonja’s kitchen with Frenchie, aka Edgar, making breakfast—in a blazer, of course (05:45–07:40)
• Both hosts question the authenticity of Frenchie: “Who wears a blazer to make eggs for Sonja in the morning? … This is clearly an arrangement for the TV show.” – Ben (06:31)
• Tinsley’s role as agent of chaos, poking at Frenchie’s “open relationship.”
• “So this is her little way of getting revenge.” – Ben (10:29)
• Ongoing jokes about Sonja’s assistant Pickles possibly living in a jar in Sonja’s basement (08:37)

3. Bethenny’s Skinnygirl Christmas Party

• Bethenny is undeniably the star of her own branded universe (11:11–12:55)
• Notes on her lobster roll and party favors: “My. I was, like, sort of traumatized by Bethanny eating a lobster roll and then talking with her mouth open. … It’s not a good look.” – Ben (12:01)
• Hosts riff on Bethenny’s relentless self-branding and her “annual” party with custom ornaments

4. Dorinda’s Gift Wrapping Fiasco

• Dorinda’s “tissue paper” saga and wrapping-panic is given a classic Crappens roast.
  • “Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m thinking about… It’s called being a blackout drunk, Dorinda.” – Ronnie (14:38)

5. Ramona’s Party Exclusion & Girls’ Night

• Ramona isn’t invited to Bethenny’s party and seeks solace with Avery and Avery’s friends (15:28–16:46)
• “Avery’s girlfriends are like my girlfriends. Except no one in their group has had sex with Tom yet. No.” – Ronnie (15:38)
• Generational girls' night parallels and the hosts' delight in Ramona’s perpetual quest to be young

6. Dorinda, the Oysters, and Bethenny’s Sex Jokes

• At Bethenny’s party, Dorinda gets a tutorial in shucking oysters that rapidly devolves into innuendo (17:33–18:38)
  • “Eating oysters is like eating the sea. Wet and salty.” – Ronnie (18:09)
• Bethenny’s Catskills-style sex joke reflex is lovingly parodied

7. Ramona’s Wine Girls and Off-the-Wall Analogies

• Ramona bonds with Avery’s friends, waxing nostalgic and competitive about wine (19:41–20:14)
  • “Who could blame him, Ryer? He’s grown up nicely.” – Ben on Avery’s friend (24:30)
• Crack-ups about Pellegrino as an upper-crust rite of passage

8. The Several Parties & Drama Recap

• Ramona’s “walking on eggshells” motif passes around the table, with friends chiming in needlessly (27:13)
• Dorinda’s legendary party blowups and propensity to forget gifts, locations, and basics
• Ongoing Sonia Morgan Paperless Post confusion: “How do you have a post that’s paper?” – Sonja impression (29:21)

9. LuAnn’s Infamous Wedding—Just Five Minutes on Bravo, but Epic

• Main Highlight Segment: 35:28–41:46
• The wedding itself was not filmed by Bravo, only by Luann’s personal crew, heavily edited into a quick montage
• “This is like the actual—the first Bravo wedding I’ve been, like, genuinely excited to see ever. And that’s only like…” – Ben (37:00)
• Jill Zarin, Kelly Bensimon, and Amanda Lepore make cameo appearances in the “home movie” wedding footage
• The officiant says: “Love is reckless, not reason.” – Ben wonders, “Even he’s against this!” (37:41)
• Jokes about Tom and Lu’s dynamic, Tom’s serial missteps, and speculation about why the cameras weren't allowed

10. The LuAnn Wedding Song Parody – Instant Classic

• Segment: 40:06–42:29
• Ben performs an original, hysterical “Luann wedding rap,” lampooning Luann’s penchant for music and the endless drama around Tom
• “Do the D’Agostino, do the D’Agostino…” – Ben, as Luann (40:36)
• “I’m making stupid ass songs on GarageBand.” – Ben, self-deprecating (42:44)

11. Aftermath Party: The ‘Discards’ Gathering

• The NYC party for those not invited to Palm Beach (55:12–65:08)
• Bethenny arrives first: “Seriously, I’m the only person here. … Like, what is this, a Minaj?” – Ben (55:12)
• Ramona: “It’s drab and dreary in here. Okay. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.” (57:08)
• Frenchie finally appears in real life, much to everyone’s amusement
• Tom makes multiple awkward comments about how Luann planned the whole wedding, raising eyebrows
  • “Her whole heart and soul was in there.” – Tom
  • Ramona: “Luann could be amazing when she puts her mind to it.” (59:32)

12. Dorinda’s Toasts—A Classic Hits Compilation

• Dorinda gives a rambling, slurred speech reminiscent of her prior boozy bests, with both hosts lampooning her roundabout style:
  • “A moment in time, that moment happens…” – Dorinda (63:14)
• Dorinda demands acknowledgement: “Hey Tom, in your speech, how about you say what a good speech I gave?” (64:02)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Frenchie:
  “I don’t even know if this guy is French… This is like a gay she met outside Port Authority.” – Ronnie (05:55)
• On Sonja’s 7-Eleven analogies:
  “What I thought was an 11 to 7 turned into a 7-Eleven. Yeah, I mean, this guy is cheap.” – Ben (08:03)
• Bethenny eating lobster rolling:
  “I was sort of traumatized by Bethanny eating a lobster roll and then talking with her mouth open. … It’s not a good look.” – Ben (12:01)
• Dorinda’s party prep:
  “It’s called being a blackout drunk, Dorinda.” – Ronnie (14:38)
• Ramona’s existential exclusion:
  “Am I happy about it? No, but the good news is I’m going out with Avery and her girlfriends.” – Ronnie as Ramona (15:09)
• Bethenny’s party gifts:
  “This one looks like one of Ramona’s breast implants.” – Ronnie (13:09)
• On the wedding footage:
  “This is like the actual—the first Bravo wedding I’ve been, like, genuinely excited to see ever. And that’s only like…” – Ben (37:00) “What a perfect day. I’m so ready and I’m so happy.” – Ronnie as Luann (37:37)
• On the officiant's “love is reckless” line:
  “Even he’s against this! You’re making a reckless decision, Luann.” – Ben (37:41)
• The LuAnn wedding song:
  “Do the D’Agostino, do the D’Agostino now…” – Ben as Luann (40:36) “I’m making stupid ass songs on GarageBand.” – Ben (42:44)
• At the ‘discards’ party:
  “Seriously, I’m the only person here. … Like, what is this, a Minaj?” – Ben (55:12) “I did call her a whore a year ago. So this is the station. I deserve the aftermath party alone.” – Ben as Bethenny (55:48)
• Dorinda’s toast:
  “A moment in time, that moment happens between a moment happens in a moment in time. Moments of time. Ten moments.” – Ronnie as Dorinda (63:26)
• On Tom’s pointed wedding thanks:
  “LuAnn put her heart and soul into that wedding so that we could have our true friends and family there.” – Tom (64:39)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:50] – Ben & Ronnie’s LA nightlife recap with Below Deck Hannah
• [05:45] – Frenchie’s breakfast/Edgar the cartoon Frenchman
• [11:11] – Bethenny’s Christmas party and “Skinnygirl” branding
• [14:21] – Dorinda’s tissue wrapping debacle
• [15:28] – Ramona’s party exclusion and Avery’s girls’ night
• [17:33] – Bethenny, Dorinda, and the oyster sex jokes
• [19:41] – Ramona, Avery, and the wine discourse
• [35:28] – Luann’s wedding montage; Tom & Lu’s dynamic
• [40:06] – Ben’s original “LuAnn wedding song”
• [55:12] – The “party of the discards” in NYC
• [62:24] – Dorinda’s speech and party chaos

Final Thoughts

The episode is classic Watch What Crappens: full of loving mockery, pitch-perfect Housewives impersonations, deeply niche references, and a running thread of affection for the mess that is RHONY. Ben and Ronnie hit all the iconic moments—Frenchie’s improbable romance, Sonja’s sprawling chaos, Bethenny’s self-promotion, Ramona’s obliviousness, Dorinda’s drunken wisdom, and the only-on-Bravo spectacle of LuAnn’s half-hidden nuptials. The original “Luann wedding song” is a must-listen.

If you missed the episode, this recap will make you laugh and want to revisit classic RHONY yourself—just maybe not in Tom’s company.