#3139 Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas

Summary

Podcast Summary: Watch What Crappens

Episode #3139: Crappens Rewind: How The Frankel Stole Christmas

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: January 1, 2026

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Overview

This raucous episode of Watch What Crappens is a rewind recap and comedic deep-dive into a classic episode of The Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY), set during their infamously chaotic Christmas in the Berkshires. Ben and Ronnie, joined by their quick-witted co-commentators, revel in the absurdity, drama, and emotional undercurrents of the housewives’ conflicts. Through sharp observations and signature affectionate mockery, the hosts dissect the episode—focusing on Bethenny and Carol’s deteriorating friendship, Luann’s foreshadowed arrest, and all the wild, quotable antics that ensue.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Majesty of RHONY and Emmy Snubs

[01:00-05:20]

• Ben delivers an impassioned rant about how RHONY surpasses many scripted shows in entertainment and should be recognized by Emmy voters.
  • “This is like Emmy worthy storytelling right here. Like those Emmy voters have...to get their snobbery out of their asses.” (Ben, 01:15)
• Commentary on the lack of respect for reality TV as a legitimate art form.
• Humorously compare the show’s explosive cast scenes to what would be stretched into multiple episodes on other franchises.

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2. Breakdown of the Major Berkshires Brawl

[05:29-16:05]

Bethenny vs. Carol: The Operator Fight

• The group returns to Dorinda’s house. Carol and Bethenny, dressed in flapper attire, devolve into a circular fight about “not letting each other talk.”
  • “You have whiny talk.” – Bethenny to Carol ([06:13])
  • “Just hold your tongue for a second. And, Bethenny, stop getting hung up on the fact she's interrupting you.” (Ben, 06:57)
• The real fight blurs: Is it about Adam, communication, or old resentment?
• Sonja surprisingly emerges as the “mature one,” while Luann enters with uninvited takes.
  • “He is an operator. That's why he dated my niece.” (Luann via Ronnie, 10:25)
• The fight splinters, with accusations of hypocrisy, shifting blame, and performative support.

Notable One-Liners

• “Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, Lord knows there's enough dragons...” ([02:46])
• Multiple “loser” and “operator” jokes emerge as recurring themes.

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3. Comedy in the Chaos: The Cake and Calamity

[24:12-25:23]

• Dorinda’s annual mishap: she face-plants into a birthday cake while the candles are still lit, terrifying and hilarious the group.
  • “She's like the Freddy Krueger now of the Berkshires.” ([24:45])
• The fight instantly pivots to slapstick—everyone eats cake off Dorinda’s face.

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4. The Fragility and Hypocrisy in the Group’s Friendships

[26:28-39:13]

Aftermath and Analysis

• Bethenny and Carol’s fight continues, both failing to effectively communicate their hurt.
  • “It’s like a circle jerk of conversations… Isn’t that funny? It’s like circle jerk.” (Bethenny, 27:15)
• Analysis on Bethenny’s inability to take accountability, contrasted with Carol’s sensitivity over perceived slights.
  • “Bethenny has a hard time taking accountability when it comes to friendships.” (Ben, 18:54)
  • “Bethenny, you're not Tinsley's contemporary here.” (Ben, 34:00)
• A running meta-commentary: hosts flip between siding with Bethenny one week and Carol the next.
• Theme of performative support and calling out "fake feminism": Ramona accuses Bethenny of not supporting other women.
  • “Friends support friends. Even if you're not my friend, just say, hey, good going, girl. I'm proud of you.” (Ramona, 50:47)

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5. Bethenny's Party and the Nutcracker Saga

[41:40-49:25]

• Bethenny’s annual “iconic” Christmas party is dissected for being not-so-festive.
• Gifts at the White Elephant party are practically ignored; Dorinda delivers the long-sought giant Nutcracker for Brynn.
  • “You saved Christmas.” (Bethenny to Dorinda, 48:42)
• But Bethenny’s lack of gratitude to Dorinda becomes group gossip fodder.
  • “She could’ve been a little more thankful to Dorinda, that’s for sure.” (Ben, 49:25)

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6. Luann's “Fresh Start” and Its Famous Downfall

[69:39-72:18]

• Luann tours her new apartment, declaring a “new chapter” and planning her global travels.
  • “Everything’s going to be uphill from here.” (Luann, 70:14)
• The infamous 48 hours later coda: Security footage shows Luann’s Palm Beach arrest.
  • “I cannot believe they used that footage… and the judge is like, now, I don’t know if you have a drinking problem or not, but you should probably stop drinking. It’s like, bum, bum, bum.” (Ben, 72:07)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “It's like, let's march for Housewives. It is all ladies fighting, and guess what? That is fine by me. I'm saying it is an art unto itself.” ([05:02])
• “This is a seismic rift. Okay, you know what? Like, Carol said that. Carol said saying that, like, I called you Luann a loser. Like that. That's like. That's a Ramona move.” (Bethenny, 19:26)
• “Cake on your face, cake on your face, we got the party started with cake on your face.” ([25:17])
• “Do I look like a loser?” (Luann, 14:17)
• “How about, you didn't give Dorinda credit for getting the nutcracker? I mean, what sort of line is that?” (Ben, 69:24)
• Ramona’s “support women” tirade and Bethenny’s defensive meltdown, culminating in:
  • “You put everybody down to make yourself look good. Okay? And I'm not having any part of that. So I'm hanging up now.” (Ramona, 67:34)

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• Emmy Rant: 01:00-05:20
• Main Fight (Bethenny vs Carol): 05:29-15:45
• Cake Incident: 24:12-25:23
• Bethenny and Carol—Bedroom Deconstruction: 27:00-35:57
• Bethenny’s Party / Nutcracker: 41:40-49:25
• Ramona confronts Bethenny by phone: 64:01-68:57
• Luann’s “new chapter” & Arrest: 69:39-72:18

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Tone and Style

The recap maintains the show’s signature blend of affectionate mockery, high-energy riffing, and obsessive attention to both absurd details and genuine emotional beats. Quick asides, campy musical references, and Bravo inside-jokes fill every minute.

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Recommended for

• Fans of RHONY or the Housewives universe
• Listeners craving sharp, comedic commentary on Bravo drama
• Anyone who loves a good comedic dissection of reality TV chaos

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Final Takeaway

A classic, gold-standard episode of Watch What Crappens—heavy on the “mock because we love,” overflowing with quotable moments, and ultimately a sharp yet loving exploration of why RHONY is reality TV at its very finest.

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“If Luann’s a loser, then we are all winners. That’s what I say.”
—Ben Mandelker, [72:48]

Transcript

[Ben Mandelker]

Who cares what happens when there's so.

[Ronnie Karam]

Much of a little feature?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, everyone. Welcome to watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. Hi, I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me on this wonderful Thursday afternoon is the hilarious and glorious and supportive of other women, Ronnie Karam from Rose Pricks. Bachelor Rose. What's going on, Ronnie?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, hello, Bear.

[Ben Mandelker]

How are you?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm doing so great today.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay, Classic episode.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Real Housewives, New York City.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God, this was an amazing episode. I could not believe this gift that came down from the Bravo gods. It's just Real Housewives of New York.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

They.

[Ben Mandelker]

They know how to bring it. Which at this point is now just sounding cliche or what trite or. I don't know, it's like, it's like it's. It's not a novel thing to say. They know how to bring it, but every time they do bring it, it's like, wow, wow. They just bring it non stop. I mean, this was a. This was an episode that had like three full cast set pieces in it, you know, and that's just par for the course, you know, and we say it a million times. Everyone always says that, you know, if this were Beverly Hills, this would be three episodes right here. But the truth is, I mean, it's true. It's like, like no other. No, none of these other franchises can compete.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Oh, my God. We'd have interventions for like 12 different people. Like even side characters on this show.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my. I just. I can't run this. This episode was so good. It was so. I was cracking up the entire time. I mean, everything and I. And I mean, these editors, they know how to craft a show. The producers and the editors who obviously worked well together, they. They are just blazing hot. I mean, this is like Emmy worthy storytelling right here. Like those Emmy voters have. No, I'm serious. Those Emmy voters have to get their snobbery out of their asses. Okay, when to the reality TV category like this needs to be nominated for whatever. What is the categories like reality, non competition, something another like, sorry, like, let's. Can we like not give it to Deadliest Catch or not nominate Deadliest Catch or Crabs on the Ocean or whatever those shows are called. Like, can we, can we at least get some appreciation for the craftsmanship that goes into a show like this? Because it is. It is better and funnier than a lot of scripted television shows. There, I said it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, Lord knows there's enough dragons, you know, breathing all over people in this show.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So we open where we left off last week.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you for letting me have that rant. Thank you. Thank you for letting me have a message.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

No, I was with you. And if ever I'm in the Emmy voting category, I will say no more to you. Amazing Race. What is so amazing about your race anyway? Please bring me the Real Housewives of New York City.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Top Chef.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Take a seat, sir.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I mean, I'm trying to remember. It's like, it's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm sorry, I'm not always amazing. I'm winding myself up.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they're in the competition category. I think the non competition category is like inside the Actor Studio or something like that, which is like, oh, but like, come on. Here's the thing.

[Ronnie Karam]

Actors, wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

How about whatever happened to Entertainment Tonight? James Lipton.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, go back to making tea. James Lipton in.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah, no kidding. Go back to teabagging. Son of a gun.

[Ben Mandelker]

Go back to sitting on a chair.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Turtlenecks are out.

[Ronnie Karam]

Who just ruined your life.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's the thing. Here's why Real Housewives of New York will never get nominated for an Emmy in the reality non competition program. Whatever is a. There is a lot of snobbery when it comes to reality tv, even amongst. I don't know who votes for reality TV in the Emmys because I don't know if it's people who work in reality or if it's the whole thing. So first of all, I suspect it's the entire academy. So they already have skewed views on what is good reality tv. You know, it's just, you know, it's probably like a lot of old people who, you know, care more about Game of Thrones than they do about reality tv. So, like, oh, well, this James Lipton, he looks sophisticated, you know, and like. And people also fail to realize that Real Housewives of New York really, ultimately is a comedy. It is a comedy show. And people see it like, oh, it's just. It's just women arguing. You know, it's kind of this, like, elitist view on these shows. This elitist, like, if it's not made for men, it's not serious and shouldn't be taken seriously.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And I say stop it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Oh, for Christ's sake, everybody go march in the streets for the Real Housewives. It's like the reverse. The reverse feminism march. Like, let's go march for Housewives. It is all ladies fighting. And guess what? That is fine by me. I'm saying it is an art unto.

[Ben Mandelker]

Itself, but I'm saying it should be. Here's the thing. The view, the perspective should be. You know what that is? Old ladies fighting. I'm nominating it. Not, it's just old ladies fighting. Whatever. Let the ladies be ladies. You know, snobbery.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm with you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

You know I'm with you. I'm not going to argue with that.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm just going to sit here and cheer you on. Silently. Sorry, everyone. Side of the road.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just playing on my.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. That was Jolie care, by the way.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she cares about us.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Jolie care. We care about you. Okay, so we start where we left off last week at Dorinda's house with Bethany and Carol and their passive aggressive, aggressive. Passive passive aggressive aggressive aggressive fighting and flapper outfits.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, that's the best part is that they have this really. They have a serious fight while dressed like they're, you know, from the Great Gatsby.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yes.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And people on online have pointed out that Bethany's basically wearing a silver thong on her head. Now, as someone who doesn't wear thongs, I didn't see that, but now I do see it, and it's all I can see.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. That is actually an amazing observation. Thank you, intern.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes, thank you. So they're in the middle of their fight, and we start with Carol going.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Come on, let me talk. You talk a lot.

Please.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Bethany goes, well, when you talk, you talk whiny.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You have whiny talk.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

You want to.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You want a whiny talk right now?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Go ahead.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Go ahead. Go ahead, talk.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

The way you talk is whiny. It's whiny. It's whiny talk. It's like.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

So it's like, you don't want to let me tell my story, Carol. You don't want to let me tell my story.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, I just want to know.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

No, you don't want to know because you won't let me talk.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So neither one of them is letting the other one talk, but neither one of them really has anything to say.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they actually do have things to say, but they. Instead of actually just saying it, they are getting caught up on. You won't let me talk.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You're talking over me.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

I'm like, all right, just say what you have to say.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Well, don't talk over me.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Okay, so.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Bethany would be like, well.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Here'S what I felt.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Okay?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

It's like, hey, it's talked over me.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like, you know, you guys are arguing over, like, Carol. Stop interrupting her.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just hold your tongue for a second. And, Bethany, stop getting hung up on the fact that she's interrupting you. Just say what you have to say. Okay, listen, there's a song.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's called say you, say me. I know that song. Hit it, boys.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Say you, say me. Say it together like you have a cabaret act. Three, two, one. I'm gonna be in Chicago.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

All right, what rhymes with Adam's an operator?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Okay, okay, so this is where the fight gets really weird for me, because, again, the show makes me jump sides. Every damn show. I'm a hippocrat, and I don't even know what side I'm on anymore because.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Bethany's like, well, yeah, of course I.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Called him an operator.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Remember when we talked, I called him an operator. I told you I think he's an operator.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Which, if she already told you that, what are you mad at?

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Phone company? Doesn't mean that he's an operator.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Just because his phone number is 0.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Just because I met him when I called 212-555-1212 doesn't make him an operator.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, you know, it's all a branding issue. I mean, if my phone number was zero, I'd say it was.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, give me a call at.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yes. It was so nice of Oprah Winfrey to make a magazine about my phone number.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, thank you, Cirque du Soleil.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna sue Oprah Winfrey for publishing my phone number to the masses. So. So Bethany is like, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

This time, I were different places. You know, like, you were traveling with Tinsley, and, like, you know, and, like. And I don't need your commentary. I don't need your commentary. And I was like, oh, yeah, you're right.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

My friend in LA's husband died, so I spent time in LA, too. So thanks for reminding me that my friend's husband died.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, like, they weren't really getting anywhere.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And then you've got Sonya shaking her head over on the side like she's the mature one. I love when Sonya's the mature one. It always cracks me up. She's like, this is very awkward because they're very close friends of mine.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Carol's like, yeah, but you said.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You told me about telling Adam Houston, and you never told me about Adam, which.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Who cares? What is this about telling Carol about. About Adam going to Houston? Why does that matter?

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know. I. I was. I was a little. I was actually A little confused as to what was said to what and what was offensive to what at this point. But basically, Bethany is getting frustrated. So she stands up to leave him during his. Like, don't leave.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Don't leave.

[Ben Mandelker]

Say. Say. Yeah, to say, don't leave. So. So Bethany's like, all right, all right. So she sits down, and she's like. She's like, okay.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, don't interrupt me, okay? Just like, let me see what I got to say. All right, so here's the deal. So when I texted you and I said this thing about Adam, and Carol's like, exactly. And Betty's like, you know what? I can't. It's impossible. I can't get a word in edgewise. I can't get a word.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, you're getting paragraphs in edgewise. That's how you talk.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So she's getting up, pacing around. Carol's pacing around with her. Well, she's got, like, a walker on her voice. Her voice is pacing around at this point.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

It's like, I don't know what they're talking.

[Ben Mandelker]

Little tennis balls on her voice.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Just.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Then she's like, my voice isn't scratching your floor, is it, Dorinda?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And he's like, those scratches were already there. I took pictures. And then it cuts to Luann with this big, long cigarette on a cigarette holder. And she's like.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah. So now again, once again, there's the. They're talking about Adam. And Carol's like, you know, you said.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

It was just when you guys were talking, it was just a business thing. But you never told me about this.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whole situation or something like that.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

But he's like, yes, I did.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yes, I did.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Luann just goes, I don't give a.

[Ronnie Karam]

About Adam because he is an operator. That's why he dated my niece.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm like, oh, geez, that tea lasted long. Don't you remember your Chinese tea outfit? Did you waste it already? Is it already wasted?

[Ronnie Karam]

So she's like, he dated my niece.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And girl goes all the way and stop.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

No one cares what you think, Luann. And she's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, really? Well, where did you meet him then? In my kitchen. That's right. In my kitchen because of my niece.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Don't forget it.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's an operator.

[Ronnie Karam]

Smooth operator with watermelon radishes. How dare you? How dare you?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

This is no ordinary radish.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So the music here is just completely on point. Trixie Monocle is killing it. So first Bethany's like, what?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I didn't tell you about Houston and.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

The music of Snap. It's like snaps. And then Carol's like. I mean, when Luann's like, my kitchen, my kitchen.

[Ronnie Karam]

The music goes.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like in Ferris Bueller. You know the song oh, boy, I.

[Ben Mandelker]

Forget the band that did that. I want to say it's yes, but it's not yes. Yes.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Trixie Monocle in the watermelon radishes Come to count us.

[Ben Mandelker]

And, friends, I'll be singing my favorite song.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Bow bow.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yes.

[Ben Mandelker]

Chicka chicka. So Luanne's like, he is an operator, and he jumped on Carol from my niece. And Tensei's like, luan. I mean, he was with Carol for three years. I don't know if that's an operator. And she goes, whatever time it takes, he's an operator.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

He's a little boy from the Midwest, okay?

[Ben Mandelker]

That's who he is.

[Ronnie Karam]

He's just a boy from the Midwest.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

He's just a small town boy coming from the Midwest. He arrives in New York City to be an operator. Don't stop. Cabaret.

None of that even rhymes. Luann.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Carol's mad at Luann, and Luann is still. Now Luann's whispering to Sonia, he was.

[Ronnie Karam]

With my niece for six months.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Sonny's like, I know. Jesus.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not even our love scene. I would have believed if it was true love, if it was on his. On the love scene, but it was a couch.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So then Bethany tries to take it back.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

She's like, all right, look, look, look. It was summer. We were busy. We're both busy. I'm busy being an international businesswoman selling multiple things.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

You were busy doing whatever it is that you do. And Carolyn's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Carol's like, yeah, we were busy. And she was.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And I'm so proud of you, Carol. I'm so proud of you, because I.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Don'T know, what, would you walk a block?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm so proud. I'm so proud. Carol.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

What would you get out of bed one day?

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoa, Carol.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, well, well, Carol. Well, well, well, well. I'll pull on a parade for you, Carol. On the parade. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just want to remind everyone that Adam is a little boy from the Midwest. That's who he is.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Did I say already?

[Ben Mandelker]

Did I say that?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Carol is sick of listening to Luann. So she goes, well, I told you.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I ran the half marathon, and your only response is that Luann's a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

You never even said, congratulations on the half marathon.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, carol, okay, you're really pushing it. Okay? Like a half marathon. I'M sorry. Maybe you say, oh, cool. Like, good job. But, like, that's a half marathon. Yeah, actually, I mean, the half marathon is still more than I could do. So, yeah, I give you props, but, like, let's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Whatever. Shut up about your marathon, okay? Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

So she goes, you said, luann's a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Luanne goes, excuse me, what did you just say?

[Ronnie Karam]

Luan's a loser. Luan's a loser. A loser.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So she's, like, now stirring her own.

[Ronnie Karam]

Loser stew over there.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Ramona's chiming in. I don't know if you noticed it.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Because Luan goes, what did you say about me? What did she say about me?

[Ben Mandelker]

And Ramona goes, that you're a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's, like, cracking up for a little bit.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She goes, well, if I'm a loser.

[Ronnie Karam]

The rest of the world sucks, okay?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm a loser.

[Ronnie Karam]

Really?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Then it comes to her talking to.

[Ronnie Karam]

Us, and she's like, a loser. Do I look like a loser?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I mean, really?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Well, if I'm a loser.

[Ben Mandelker]

God. I mean, right?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Do I look like a loser to you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like I'm a winner in my very own rented penthouse.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Bethany's like, you know what? I'm done about it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'm done. I'm done about it, okay? I'm done about this. About this.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Why don't you just say your piece? Do you think you can just say your piece and then say, I'm done?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And she like, you know what, Carol, leave me alone about it. Carol, leave me alone.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And she's like, oh, really? See, you're the victim here.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, so good.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Dorinda has, like, this moment where she's sort of like, that has, like a mini yell.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, yeah, you had to.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Luan's like, dorinda. And then she, like, gets up and is like, I'm gonna sit in the chair with you. This is something that Nod. Losers do. They share chairs with people.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm a giver, you see? Don't tell me. I don't do charity.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can't say charity without chair, Mel, this is so good.

[Ronnie Karam]

Cause Dorinda's like, I don't even know.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

What she said either. I wrote down a bunch of letters.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Luanne's like, dorinda, don't try and make it okay all the time. That doesn't work. And she goes, yeah, it does, Luanne, look, I'm making it okay with you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And then they hug, and Dorinda's like.

[Ronnie Karam]

Look at those boobs and then they, like, sit.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

They start playing with each other while this fight is going on. And then Ramona comes from, like, a reading. Reading rainbow corner over there.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

She's like, listen, friendships are about understanding each other, and Bethany only wants to understand her own point of view. And it hurts because I know that Bethany's hurt.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

That makes me sad because I know she's hurting inside.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Hurting inside hurts more than hurting outside. Because when you're hurting outside, other people see it, and they say you're hurt, but when you're hurting on the inside, nobody sees it. Unless you're a woman with a career that Bethany's not supporting. Then you see it. You're like, your heart, bitch.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Bethany. So now Bethany is, like, getting really shrill, you know, because it's like this. She's. She's. Bethany is now so furious that Carol said that Bethany said that Luann was a loser. She's furious that Carol is basically putting her on blast for that.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, you think I would tolerate.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

This conversation if you think.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, she's like. Her voice is getting this high thing, and she's like, I walk.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know what? What's the matter? Like, I walk out of every unpleasant conversation. Like, I'm tolerating you right now because I care about you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Huh?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah. Like, how old are you? How old are you? I know you want to be 45, but don't act seven, okay? So what?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And Bethany's right on this one.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was actually a good line.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

That was a really good line.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And that was a dick move, Carol. Like, fight your own battles. You don't need to bring everybody into it.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Lee's like, you know, what's wor Carol saying? That I'm.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

That you said I'm a loser.

[Ronnie Karam]

The fact that you said it, it's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Like, look, look, look. I don't know that I said it. I don't know that I said it, but it's possible that I did, okay? It's possible.

[Ronnie Karam]

She goes, you think I care what you think about me?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And she stands up, and she gets at Bethany's face.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

He goes, I hope not.

[Ben Mandelker]

I hope not.

[Ronnie Karam]

He goes, not for one second.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Bethany goes, oh, really?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Do you care that you have lipstick on your face?

[Ronnie Karam]

And then I goes, oh, I do act so I do.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's like, see?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You care what I think about you, and I care what you think about me.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she goes, I do care.

[Ben Mandelker]

All Right. I do care. It's fine. And then, well, what was.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

All right, you got me.

[Ben Mandelker]

I care. What can I say?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm a caring operator. 3, 2, 1. I care, cuz I share.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is that a song? I made it up. So Bethany also, right before that, Bethany's.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, luann, like, how many bad things have you said about me? Okay, you're like. You're piling out this argument for no reason.

[Ben Mandelker]

Luann's like, I've never said a bad thing about you. Not one thing at all.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Haircut.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Is it.

[Ronnie Karam]

Is it saying something bad if I report a crime? You stole a haircut. Just get mad at anybody who walks into a police station, why don't you?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, why would I insult the person who popularized my very own cocktail recipe?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm glad I could help you by letting you steal my idea for a cocktail company.

[Ben Mandelker]

First to steal my cocktail, then my hair. I mean, what could I say that's bad about you? Because everything seems to be nothing but flattery.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, okay, everyone, I have an announcement. I have said something negative about everyone at this table at some point in time.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Luann goes, all right, now who's gonna die?

[Ben Mandelker]

We're still doing the murder mystery, right? Where's Mr. Feathersby?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So those guys must have still been in the kitchen. Like, what is going on out there? Right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Carol, her whole thing is like.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Bethany can never admit to doing something that's less than perfect.

[Ben Mandelker]

Which I actually think that's a valid point. I mean, Bethany will often talk about her flaws, but she talks about her flaws almost in a way that. To immunize herself from criticism.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, no, look, like, I. Like, I know my flaws. I know my issues. Like, don't come at me. Like, I already know them.

[Ben Mandelker]

But Carol's kind of right. Like, Bethany. Bethany has a hard time taking accountability when it comes to friendships. I think the things that she does wrong in friendships.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And then Carol has. Carol's always trying to relate to the people.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

So she's like, when you confront Bethany.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She gets in the weeds.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm like, what is she, a waiter now? Please don't put that image in my head of Bethany being in the weeds.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I got so many tables. There's too much going on here.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

It's too much going on. I got too much going on.

Like, literally, like, skinny weeds.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what I call them.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know what it's like? It's like you go to your garden and weeds, but they're skinnier than Usual skinny weeds, huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Bethany's like. Bethany's like, this is a seismic rift. Okay, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, Carol. Carol said that. Carol said saying that, like, I called you Luann a loser. Like that. That's like. That's a Ramon move. That's like Ramona move. Okay, that's bad. That's bad.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it's like, okay, this is.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

This is bad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Now she's comparing Carol to Ramona.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And there are often separate corners complaining about each other.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And so Carol's like, well, she wasn't supportive.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She didn't donate a penny to my charity, and I didn't say anything.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Carol, it was a marathon, okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

If you want people to give you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Money, sell some Girl Scout cookies on your way. You know what I mean? That's how to do a marathon.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly. And also, it's like Bethany is literally chartering airplanes to go to Puerto Rico. I mean, it just came out today. I guess the White House said that this was the best female response of all time. Supporter Rico. I think that's what I saw in the View, like, fleetingly today. So I'm sorry if I get that wrong. And, like, I. I don't know. I'm bringing that up. I'm not trying to politicize this podcast, but the point is that Bethany was actually doing stuff. She was doing more than fema, I feel like.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so Carol's like, you.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Like, I ran a marathon.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, it's like, okay, like, Carol, like, sorry if Bethany didn't. First of all, I think Bethany did donate to you. And second of all, sorry if she was preoccupied chartering airplanes to Puerto Rico. I don't know. To me, it was a petty moment.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Bethany's still freaking out and squealing like.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, she says, I don't trust her now. I don't trust her because she said the thing. Why would I trust.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like, she's doing her squeal thing where she's just in a manic.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah, that's toothpaste. I can't put toothpaste back in the table.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And so she's squealing, and then Luann.

[Ronnie Karam]

Goes, all right, now, that's enough list here. There is no loser here.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's like, let's concentrate on the fight. Someone called me a loser. So she gets a big feather boa.

[Ronnie Karam]

Thing, and she's like, oh, ciao, bella. No, that's Italian. All right, let's start again. Smooth operator singing.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Bethany's like, what happened to this house?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Like, I feel 4ft tall right now, like, what? What the hell is happening?

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, it's the Berserk shows, Bethany. Thank you.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what happens. Au revoir.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

There we go.

[Ben Mandelker]

French. Just like my former husband, Count Alexander d'.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, fun, fun, fun. Smooth operator. Am I right, girls?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Run away, run away, Run away and save your life.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's by a band called the real McCoy. So Ramona, meanwhile, is in the hallway talking to Carol, and she's like, why feel bad? I felt your pain.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I felt her pain.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was like.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, no, Ramona, don't know what you're saying.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

No one knows what you're saying. So Bethany is hearing her, and so she senses Bethany there. So she's like, like, look, all I.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Want to say is, I love you both, okay? I love you so much. And Bethany's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Now you're on a stage, and it's not. You know. That's not what you were saying 10 minutes ago. We got it, Ramona. You're on a stage. And she's like, listen, to be or not to be obsessed with health care, you know, I think you should be obsessed with your skin, personally. Ramona singer, skin care. Shut up, Ramona. Yeah, Ramona loves this.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I'm not on a stitch, okay? But that being said, memories, like, the morning of. Memories of Mario. Memories. Where's the tire? I'm getting on the tire, and I'm.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Floating up into the heavens to see Avery with her friends in the memories.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, for Christ's sake. It's not. Get off the tire, Ramona.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's not about you. So Ramona's following up this. Her. Up the stairs, and she's like, well.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You know, it's just. I know you're friends with her, and you have a friendship with her, and then she has a friendship friendship with you, and then, you know, other people have friendships with other people. And Ernie, they have friendships. Bert has a friendship with Ernie.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Ernie has a friendship with Bert.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You know, and if there's something wrong, guess who's gonna feel bad? Me.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

That's what affects. Consider the real people affected by this.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, it's always sad to see a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Friendship on the rocks, you know, I know your friendship with her, and it's.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Very upsetting to me. It's like, imagine if someone said, hey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ramona, you and Avery, your sister friend.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Are no longer friends. That'd be very upsetting because we're basically like, friends.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know my mother, but I'm basically.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Her Equal, because we look the same. We go out to bars together and get cocktails.

[Ben Mandelker]

We each get three cocktails.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

The first cocktail is a short one.

[Ben Mandelker]

And a small glass with one ice cube. The second one's a tall one with tequila and three ice cubes and some soda. And the third one has three limes around it and a little bit of ice and a little bit of water. Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Let's face it.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's time for a commercial break. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

But if we don't one, it's going to be very date classic.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Okay, so then we get our south park segment of the season, because every year now, Dorinda is going to try and kill herself in some way. It's like Kenny, you know, from south park, where he just kept dying. Like, they would find a new way to kill Kenny every episode. So it's like every year, they're going to try and find a new way to kill Dorinda. Last year, she was stabbing herself with a knife, not even knowing it.

[Ronnie Karam]

This year, she's like, happy birthday.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, actually, Ramona takes over the happy birthday, which is probably one of the funniest things.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Happy birthday, birthday to you.

[Ronnie Karam]

Okay, Like.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Okay, Ramona, we hear you. So then Dorinda has this cake full of candles and just, like, stabs her face with it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, she's like, to try to make things funny. She. She, like, puts her head in the cake, as Danny Pellegrino said, Mrs. Doubtfire style. But the thing is that the candles were still lit. Like, she just puts her face into fire.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah, she's like the Freddy Krueger now of the Berkshires.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, I got your dreams.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna stick my tongue out of.

[Ronnie Karam]

Going, hey, why don't you take us. Why don't you go to sleep so we can talk together?

[Ben Mandelker]

You know what's funny is that Luann, when Dorinda does that, Luann goes, why did you do that? Why would you do that to yourself? Would you believe it, girls?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She ruined the cake.

[Ben Mandelker]

She burned her face with cake handles.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So then they just all start eating the cake off her face, which was both disturbing and wonderful.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Want to get a party started? Put cake on your face. 3, 2, 1.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Cake on your face. Cake on your face. We got the party started with cake on your face.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So then Bethany's like, oh, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Thank you, Dorinda. Thank you for having us. All right, on the count of three.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You made it nice.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

These people are crazy. Okay, we just went from the Worst fight ever to.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You made it nice.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Everyone's happy. Yeah. So it's 9:20 in the morning. Oh, no.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

It's 9:20 at night.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Lou and Sonia and the rest of them are just dancing downstairs, humping each other like crazy people. Just wasted.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. And then upstairs, Bethany is, for some reason, just fully naked except for a little thong, and she's trying to get into the green Santa costume.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Just kidding.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the elf costume. I know, but she's trying to get into it. But like, Dorinda, she and Dorind are both drunk and they're both trying to get into and sort of like wrestling. And Dorinda starts talking. I forgot what Dorinda said in her interview, but it was clearly what they call a pickup, you know, when they basically shoot an interview after the fact. And I don't know what's going on with her hair, I'm gonna squarely blame. I believe Luke from Ladies of London is her new hair guy. But she looked like Dorothy Zbornak. It was. Someone put Dorinda in old lady hair, and I did not appreciate it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, it was probably a wig from burning all her hair off.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, maybe that was what it was. So. Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

So they're giggling and she's like, I own Santa. I own Santa. Stop trying to take standing from me.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Bethany's like, ah, I didn't know she owned Christmas. Okay. I mean, she has the hair of.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Mrs. Claus, and I've got the job.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Enough so work that I'll just.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'll just be here.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

What's the matter?

[Ben Mandelker]

I didn't know that elves had specifically, like, Jaws. Like. Like signature Jaws. I thought elves were, like, had fairly standard Jaws, you know?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I think she's doing the elves from those Claymation movies, which I've been talking about a lot this week for whatever. Those Claymation Christmas movies where they all have huge chance.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think she's. She's probably. I think it's her way of saying, yeah, I know. I got a jaw situation.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Okay. And I know, I know. Okay. I know, I know.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now. So, Bethany. So Carol and Dorinda are sitting on a bed now, and they're, like, talking about the fight and everything. And then Bethany walks in.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

He's like, oh, my God. It's like a circle jerk of conversations. See that? I said circle jerk. Isn't that funny? It's like circle jerk.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like penis.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

It's like semen. It's like I got semen on my face. But it's a conversation It's a semen conversation. See what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah. I'm not gonna do this anymore. I'm not gonna do this anymore, Carol.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Cause Carol is still talking to. Carol's on the bed now talking to Dorinda, and she's like, well.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Well, you know, I think Bethany is looking at this through the lens of her own experience, like narcissists do.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'm like, excuse you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

That is what human beings do.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. God forbid you apply your own experience to something.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And I love this show for making me go so, so far to the other side already. It's like, last week, I was like, screw Bethany.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Carol's totally right. How dare Bethany.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And this week I'm like, shut up, Carol.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it's kind of funny. This episode ultimately winds up being very anti Bethany. And so it is like, it's over. Even the course of the episode. I was a little bit more on Bethany's side during this argument. Even though most of the audience, I think, was on Carol's side. I was more on Bethany's side. But then it's like, by the end of the episode, it's like, ah. But Bethany is. She is. She's a hard person to get behind sometimes. So Carol's. So they. So Dorinda leaves them alone, and they sit down, like, I gotta go.

[Ronnie Karam]

You guys talk. I got Campbelltop.

[Ben Mandelker]

I gotta apply some aloe to my face.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

So Carol's like, all right, I've said my piece. You've said your piece?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And bet. He's like, I never said my piece. I never said.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Well, you know, it's an expression.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

No, I literally never said the word words. My piece. Okay. My piece. Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

It's like, I've heard the expression Carol. So Carol's like, well, the thing is.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You didn't tell me you said Houston.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

She's like, oh, my God, you must be missing a text or an email or something.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And she.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Carol goes, no, I'm not.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, you wouldn't know if you're missing it if, like, don't say you're not, because if you're missing it, you don't know that you're missing it. That's the whole point of a missing text or email.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Bethany goes, oh, so you think I just called you out of the.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Blue and said, adam sucks?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And earlier in the episode, Carol was like, possible. Earlier in the episode, Carol was telling us.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She goes, one day, Bethany called me out of the blue and said, adam sucks.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, bethany, you do later on Call Ramona out of the blue and tell her that she. She sucks. So it's not, like, totally unprecedented for you.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, you know, Adam sucks.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And actually, even earlier, before they call you out of the blue, like, is there a certain time that they're supposed to call you? Of course you called out of the blue to say Adam sucks.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I actually, by the way, in Bethany's favor, what I like about What I. What I liked about her in this argument a little bit earlier in the episode, when they're still at the table, is that I feel like Bethany can. Can walk back or walk through what she said and her motivations very clearly, which is what sort of gives her an edge a little bit in my book. She's like, like, so here's basically what happened. You know, Adam, you know, he asked for Ray. No one else asked me for a rate. And so I called you up and I was like, can we be done with Adam already? Like, I'm. This is ridiculous. Because she probably was calling to be. Because A.D. carol and Adam were sort of, like, on the outs a little bit. And Bethany called and thought she was sort of, like, palling around, you know, Like, I think that was what was implied. Like. Like, let's just, like, have, like, a. Like a sesh about. About Adam, you know, and then she's like. And then I realized that I pushed too many buttons and it wasn't really, like, working, so I, like, dialed it back. So she basically said at the table, I kind of miscalculated, like. Like, our Adam bitch sash, you know, and, like. And I thought that was a very honest, you know, an honest explanation of. At least from her perspective.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, we don't know if it's honest. You know, that's the thing with Bethany, because she keeps changing the things.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I mean, I'm saying she keeps.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Changing her story, but it felt.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because she was able to explain it clearly and cogently, that's why it felt more honest to me.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, at least it explains it to me, because I don't know even what Carol's mad at now, because now I'm like, well, okay, so if. If Bethany called you and told you about all this stuff and said that Adam wanted to be paid and all this stuff and he's an ass and he's an operator and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then why are you mad about that now? Are you literally just mad that something was said about Houston and you didn't know about Houston?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, are you saying, why is Bethany mad? Or was Carol.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

No, why Is Carol mad? Because now Carol's just bringing up Houston. If you already knew all this other stuff, I thought, Carol is mad.

[Ben Mandelker]

Here's the reason why.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She just heard that Bethany was calling Adam, you know, an operator, and all this stuff. But if she already knew that. I'm confused.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, I think this is why Carol was mad, because she knows that there's been, like, a weird vibe with Bethany. And then she finds out the night before, thanks to basically Ramona and Dorinda, that Bethany was talking about this situation, about the operator situation. So in Carol's mind, she thinks Bethany is going around talking shit about Adam and calling him an operator all around town. So that's got her mad. Like, why the fuck are you doing that? Like that. That's so obnoxious. In her mind, when really, as far as we can tell, this moment happened about the operator moment. Bethany called.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Carol was like, he's an operator.

[Ben Mandelker]

And she's like, well, I know everyone's an operator in business. You are most of all the operator. And then Bethany told Dorinda, yeah, you know what? Adam did this thing, and I was like, I told Carol, I kind of.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Think he's an operator.

[Ben Mandelker]

So in Carol's mind, she thinks she's mad because she thinks that Bethany is just, like, the reason why there's distance is because Bethany has been so pissed about the Adam situation and has been talking to everyone about it except for Carol. Does that make sense? I got lost in my own talk. Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I mean, it mushes my brain. So I think it's doing the same thing to Carol, because Carol's just at the point where she's like, look, I.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Don'T wanna fight with you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Bethany's like, well, Carol, it's just like, you seem like you're so into yourself right now. Like, you're into yourself and your fashion.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And your hair and Tinsley and selfies.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And of course, she dropped Tinsley in there, which is basically the problem.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Carol goes, selfies.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You're like the queen of selfies. You're all over Instagram. She goes, that's distorted what you're saying. You're saying, I like my hair. So you're distorting it into saying, I like my hair.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like, you two are making me crazy with this.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay, yeah, be quiet.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

The both of you, just be quiet.

[Ben Mandelker]

But the thing is that, like, you know, Bethany was being hypocritical because she is also about. About selfies. But, you know, to say that someone is now all of a sudden about selfies, it doesn't mean that, like you personally can't be about selfies. Like, if you're the accuser, it just means that, you know, you never were about this before. Now suddenly you're about like I've always been about it, so I have no problem with it. But you never were about it, now suddenly you're about it in a way that's sort of like sad. And the truth is that what Bethany is saying is what we've been saying for the past few years. You know, Carol sitting on that counter at the camera shop, cool girl. You know, like this has been Carol's fatal flaw is this trying to be kind of like young and hip hop all this time. And then of course that opens up this whole other can of worms, which I'm not going to go into is like, why can't a woman do that? You know? But like, I'm not going to bother with that. But the point is Bethany's basically saying what we've been saying.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. Except that it's not sudden. Bethany just needs. Bethany will pick out anything and then she just buries the tinsley in there.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, I think because tins. It really is about Tinsley.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Right.

[Ben Mandelker]

Because it's not just that Carol's trying to be young because she's always.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

It's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

That's what I'm saying. She just drops Tinsley in like all of these other complaints that have. No.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's basically saying, you think that like you and Tinsley are like two, you know, 41 gal, 41 year old gals, like gallivanting across the city and you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not. Tinsley's contemporary here is basically what Bethany's saying.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. So then they cut to downstairs. The ladies are now humping each other. Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Meanwhile, downstairs is Caligula. It's like the way, I mean, like, oh, frottage or.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. It's like droopy Eyes Wide Shut.

[Ben Mandelker]

They're just all like, they're just swarming on each other. Down on. It's. It's like a. It's like a rat king happening down on the couch.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. So then back upstairs, Bethany's like, look.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Everyone has their own stuff. Like, you had a breakup and then I had to go way too deep in this charity.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I just got in too deep. It's like they want too much. I'm in too deep.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'm in too deep.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

What is the charity doing?

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. Like, what did they. What did they. What did. Who did they abduct for you to get. To get the place? Like, all right, Bethany, we've inducted Nutcracker that you want, and we're not giving it back to you until you have charter us two planes.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And Carol's like, honey, I get it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Which, of course, she says all the time. I'm just pointing that out.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Don't call me honey.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

So she's like, that got to a 10. It didn't need to.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She goes, all right, let's bring it to a seven.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, it's a seven now. It's a seven now.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So we can't bring it to a seven.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

All right, seven and a two.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, I want a zero. I want a zero. How about that?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

That?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's like, oh, my God, you're even arguing about what you know?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know what I want? I want zero divided by one, because you know what that is? It's a matching number. It's an I. Okay, I want I. I want I right now. Imaginary numbers.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

It's like, well, yeah, now I'm in these PJs because Durant's in the other PJs.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, oh, you have other PJs, too?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And she goes, yeah, they're up Dorinda's vagina right now. Like, they're so far up her vagina, it's like she's gonna give birth to a baby, like, velvet Santa Claus suit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Dorinda did mention having camel toe a few times this episode.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She was like, all right, I got some camel toe.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

My Santa Claus.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now, all of a sudden, we're just. The next morning, it's just. It's like, after all that, they're like, okay, let's bring it down to it, too.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Okay. Next morning.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now it's the next morning, and we are in the. The Blue Fish Room, where Luanne's, like, in bed with Sonia and Bethany is in the other bed. And I was like, was this the sleeping arrangement? And it wasn't. And it was kind of funny because Bethany just sort of, like, startles awake, and I feel like that's how she wakes up every morning.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

What's going on? What's about it?

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, what startled her is Luang going, water, water, water. And she's like, circuit.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And she goes, oh, my God.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, my God. It's like being woken up by Darth Vader.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Oh, my God, we're on the Death Star. Okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Oh, my God. I'm in out of space. Okay. I didn't do any training. Okay. Oh, my God.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So funny.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, my God. What are we doing? Is Betty Ford open?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like, what's wrong with us?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

What's on those fish up there? Why is there fish on the walls? It's like a bad lesbian porno flick with fish. It's like a bad lesbian fish porno flick.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, okay, I know you're going for a joke here, Bethany, but, like, you know, know, it's. It's like three women sleeping benignly in beds. It's like women fully clothed under the covers.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Crack me up the alarm.

[Ronnie Karam]

Water, Water.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, my God. It's like Darth Vader. Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

It's a Kraken.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God. The Betty Ford reference. Also great foreshadowing.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

She's like, promises. Anyone want to make some promises?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Dorinda comes to the door, and she's.

[Ronnie Karam]

Like, hello, it's me, Dorinda, just reminding you there's a coffee station downstairs. And if you want some coffee, you can get it yourself, because this ain't a goddamn. All right? So if you want your goddamn coffee. And then Luan just opens the door.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And drags her in.

[Ben Mandelker]

He's coming to the Kraken room.

[Ronnie Karam]

Guys, did I have a horrible gamble to last me?

[Ben Mandelker]

It was awful, but at least you.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Weren'T called a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So then down in the kitchen, Luann's in this huge blue fur, which is this fucking show. So they're all eating.

[Ronnie Karam]

Dorinda's like, we are tough bitches. And we made it through that.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Sonia comes up. She's like, hi, Dorinda, it's me, Sonia Morgan from State Farm Insurance. Have a talk. Yeah, I just wanted to show you these photos of all of the issues in the room that we stayed in so that you can't blame them on me.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was good. She's like, all right, here. There's a nick on the floor. That was. That preexisted us. Here's another one. It looks like it's Luann's button impersonation button pression in the wall. It's not. It was there before. Here's the swordfish. We didn't bring the swordfish in. That was on the wall.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Also, Ramona is dating the swordfish, but.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She didn't rip it off the wall. So I just wanted proof. So they basically all swordfish. They basically all leave like, it's time to go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they're all. They all just. They're all packing up and all of a Sudden, we see Bethany go up to Carol, be like, all right, I love you.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'll talk to you later. Okay, Let spy the shit out. Okay, I love you.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, wait, what? Did this get it resolved? Did I miss something?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. Well, I mean, as much as they do, they said they wouldn't stop fighting. I don't know if it left on a 10 or a 2 or a 0. I don't think they ever agreed on that. But, yeah, they agreed to stop fighting. But of course, this is Housewives. And now Carol's got a bone. And Carol will not let go of that bone.

[Ben Mandelker]

No.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Bethany is the same way, but Bethany will come out at shadier. Carol's just every scene from now on.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Carol's gonna be like, marathon Bethany.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Marathon Bethany.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's a great time to go back, Aviva. That's what I gotta say.

[Ronnie Karam]

So, Ms. Ryder girl.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So they're gone, right? Did you want to say anything else before they leave?

[Ben Mandelker]

I did not.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Because in my mind, it's over.

[Ben Mandelker]

In my mind, we're shutting the door to the Berkshire's 2018. Which is. Which is a shame.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes. And then she's all impressed with Sonia.

[Ronnie Karam]

She's like, oh, look at. Sonia has a list of things to do. Look, congratulations.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

You didn't rip things off the wall this year.

[Ronnie Karam]

Isn't that what houseguests do?

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we go back down to New York City, and we get to see. We actually don't even see pops of what everyone's doing. We just see Sonia at home. She has that, like, rust. That dog. That rust colored dog that she sort of throws on the bed. And a contractor arrives. This is a guy named Leo. And basically, he's there to fix things in the. In the townhouse. That way she can rent it out. She's like, you gotta. You gotta spend money in order to make money. I'm like, why are you yelling? Why are you yelling?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So, yeah, she's in community theater mode in this scene. She's like, it's me, Sonia. Where she's always facing the cameras and, like, shaking her head really big.

[Ben Mandelker]

So she's showing him the stuff that needs to get done. She's like, oh, and I also forgot to tell you, I had sex on the sink in the bathroom downstairs, like in 2008. But, you know, it separated the sink from the wall. And then there's also the towel rack, because, you know, you got to hold on to the towel rack while your butt's going on the sink. You know how it is. But I was able to glue the towel rack on myself. You know, I just used some leftover jizz. It hardens up just like great crazy glue.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

The guy's like, knowing that my bathroom is kept together by a bunch of could have been babies. I mean, let me tell you, it's just changing everything. You know how hedge fund guys are, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

Hey, if you see pixels in the walls, could you just let a. Meanwhile, we have Bethany at her place, and she's trying to start a fire in her fireplace.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, come on, you gotta be kidding me right now. Like, what's. What's not gonna work?

[Ben Mandelker]

I was like, you need to take some lessons from Luann.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She. That.

[Ben Mandelker]

That one knows how to start a fire.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah. And this is this.

[Ronnie Karam]

We didn't start the fight. Just kidding.

[Ben Mandelker]

I did.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I started the fire.

[Ben Mandelker]

I almost burned down the entire house. The Berkshires.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Bethany didn't start the fire. She was always burning because her world was turning in. Skinny girl, headline, headline. Another. Another headline. Headline, headline. Lewin's going to jail.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, that's the future.

[Ronnie Karam]

That's nature.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's her version of, we didn't start the fire.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Tinsley is in a fight with Sonia.

[Ronnie Karam]

Ramona's.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Mario left her, and Tom and Luann got divorced. We didn't start the fire.

[Ronnie Karam]

You know those hedge fund guys, right?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Bethany's. Yeah. Having a party at her house now.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

For Christmas, and it's my annual Christmas party. Like, nothing says more than more about Christmas and sushi. Am I right, guys? Am I right? Fire and sushi.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. You know, they tried to elevate Bethany's holiday party to an annual tradition, but. I'm sorry, it is. It's not. I mean, even though she's had them every single year, they are not iconic. First of all, they're always, like, during the day, which feels a little, like, not as fun. And it's always like, they sit around her couch while, like, the servants just stare. They eat sushi, and then everyone leaves. You can tell it's like a 90 minute occasion and no one really wants to be there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And this is a situation. You don't want an open kitchen. You know, it's like the help is just like, oh, good. So Sonia shows, all the girls start showing up. And Bethany's being super nice to everybody because she's just had a public fight with one of them. So she's, like, uber nice to everybody, which I love when she does this and doesn't realize that she's like, suddenly, oh, I'm nice.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Bethany, now. Oh, my. Look at Sonia. Look, Sonia, you look like a model right now. Like you're really feeling yourself.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then Sonia goes, well, you know.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I had to use a washcloth because.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

My house is just all wrapped up. So basically I gave myself a horse bath. Anyone want to smell me? I mean, I need to move out, but I don't have a place.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Can I stay with you? Tinsley?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Which. That'll be an interesting twist or. That was an interesting twist. By the way, did you notice Bethany was wearing like this big golden sequined top with skinny, skinny jeans, which I'm just going to suspect. I'm going. I'm going to surmise that those were skinny girl skinny jeans. Right? Like, those had to be because they.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Have like the bedazzled shit on the sides.

[Ben Mandelker]

I couldn't tell, but it just, it felt like such a strange outfit because it was. The top did not match. Like, it was not. Those are not two things that you wear together. It seemed like very strange. So I was like, the only reason why I should have this strange outfit on is if she wants to be wearing her skinny girl jeans on tv, which I think is important.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

My theory for the upcoming war.

[Ronnie Karam]

Skinny girl war.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So everyone starts arriving and people showing up. And then Luann arrives and, like, no one notices.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She goes, well, don't anybody get up. Just a loser has walked in.

[Ben Mandelker]

A loser with her own cabaret show.

[Ronnie Karam]

Just a loser. One, two, three. Boy, I'm a loser. A loser. I own it. That's called owning it when you're with Calvin friends.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

So why don't you kill me?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. So she comes in and Luann is. Oh, yeah. She's like talking about her red Cross. I'm like, why am I talking so much about.

[Ronnie Karam]

She basically, yeah, I'm giving to the.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Red Cross because things happen and people need blood. So I figure, why not get all of my. My blood sucking vampire old lady friends together and give a little? And I was like, this is not going to work out. Who in this group could possibly even be eligible to give blood? I know they're not going to take this blood from any of these ladies. And they don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, they most certainly do not. She's like, what better way to give for the holidays than give the gift of blood? There's got to be a better way to say that.

[Ronnie Karam]

I mean, they won't let us hand out bottles of sky, so this is the next best thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Carol arrives and she and Bethany are sort of pretending. Pretending to still be friends. They're sort of having a, you know, the, you know, fake pleasantries like, oh.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

How are you doing? Oh, sushi.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

That's nice.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Oh, you look good.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, you look good too. Yeah, that's nice.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, Happy holidays.

Yeah.

Yeah. How's that. How's that operator boyfriend of yours, huh?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Good.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Okay, good.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And so now they're gonna play the White Elephant party, which is. We all know how to play. Yeah. So Ramona, it gets to Ramona and she gets like a facelift in a box thing. Which, by the way, if you want a facelift in a box, go to leahblack.com and get one.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

It'll keep you forever.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So she gets one of those and she's like, oh, it's an anti aging fusion.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

You know what? This reminds me, I have an anti aging serum, and so I'm testing other products. So it's really good that I get this so I could test it against my own product, which is coming out soon, America.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And then Luann gets something. She's like, what is this? Like? Oh, it's some sort of, like, beauty cleaning something. She's like, oh, I got cleaner me. What?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

What am I, some sort of loser.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who just has to sit at home and clean? Well, let me tell you something.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

There's a. I know a lady who.

[Ben Mandelker]

Once stayed at home and cleaned while everyone went out and have a good time. And her name was Cinderella. Would you believe it, girls?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm Cinda fucking Rella.

[Ronnie Karam]

And then bobbidi boom, boys. Bibbidi bobbidi boom, Boys again. Bibbidi bobbidi boom. My pumpkin's here.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you notice that, by the way? No one stole gifts. It was like the White Elephant party and no one sold a gift. I thought. I thought that. I thought the way White Elephant works is that you open a gift and then you decide if you're gonna keep it or steal someone else's. Not. You make the choice before you open the gift. Right?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah, they explained it. Right. They just didn't play. Right. They didn't get bored.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I mean, look at their murder mystery.

[Ronnie Karam]

It's like, I get it. All right, let's see.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they definitely don't get games. So. So anyways, they all open up their gifts and everything, and then all of a sudden it's like, ding dong, special delivery. And guess what? Dorinda's decorator guy, the guy who I guess did all her Christmas decorations, he comes in with a huge nutcracker that Bethany had requested from FAO Schwartz for Brynn. So oh, my God. Everybody's like, oh, my God. Everyone's like, you know, so Bethany just starts screeching at this point.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's just like, oh, my God, what's up in it?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

What's the matter?

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

Oh, my God. Am I the best mom in the world?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Am I the best one?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I get the best guest. I get the best kiss. It's FAO Schwartz. It's FA Schwartz. It's FAO Schwartz.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Over and over. We get it. Congratulations. You got a big wooden man for your daughter. That thing's going to terrify her every night.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, listen, you know what I got to do? I got to say thank you to the. To the gods who arranged for this to happen.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Wow. I'd like to say thank you to the giant car it must have taken.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

To get this thing over here.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Thank you, car.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I got to thank Mr. Schwartz. Mr. Oh, I gotta thank the letters F A, N O for making such a great nutcracker. Thank you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I gotta thank Tom Hanks for repopularizing FAO Schwartz with his movie Big.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I gotta thank Hilary Swank's ex husband, Chad Lowe, because he. She never thanked him at the Oscars. And I want to make sure no one ever gets forgotten about when someone's thanking people.

Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'd like to thank nuts, because without nuts, we wouldn't need a nutcracker. Okay.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Hey, you know what I want to do? I want to thank the sugar Plum Fairy, because you know what? There are a lot of fairies out there, but Sugar Plum Fairy, like, no one. What it Is that. What? Your sugar. What? Your plum. Your sugar. Like, what is that? I don't know what you are, but thank you.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'd like to thank gun bans and gun restrictions because you can no longer.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Use guns to shoot up with your nuts.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

So thank you.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know what I want to thank. I want to thank. I want to thank those old men who keep it going. You know what? Because this. This nutcracker. Look at him. He's got to be, like, 75, you know? But he's. He's still working. He's working hard.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Thank you.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Dorinda's like, well, you know, I'm not one to look for a lot of thank yous, working missions, like maybe just little bit. Maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just maybe.

[Ronnie Karam]

My lane.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, Bethany did say she turned to Darina, goes, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You saved Christmas. You saved Christmas.

[Ben Mandelker]

You saved Christmas. Which is sort of like saying thank you. I mean, I feel like it was the sentiment of thank you, but she definitely but she did not say thank or she didn't say.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I feel like it was fine. I feel like she said thank you. Like, what. What are these people like?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean. Yeah, I think that maybe. Maybe it would have been nicer if she said, oh, my God, everyone, I was looking for this nutcracker, and I said, can you find it? And Dorinda actually did it. Dorinda found it.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

But instead, you're just like, you saved Christmas. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Am I not the best mom? Am I not the best?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, I think it goes.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah, I think I always get the best kiss. I always say.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I think it goes above just not saying thank you into, like, screaming, I did it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. That was where it was a problem because it looked like she was taking credit or, you know, I just.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

You.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm the best.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I'm the best.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm the best.

[Ben Mandelker]

She could have been a little more thankful to Dorindo, that's for sure. And then she takes a photo of this nutcracker, and Carol's like, look at her take it.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

A selfie with a nutcracker.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Oh, the irony of not saying thank you properly after she screamed intensely for not saying thank you properly to Sonia.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, it looks like. Looks like Bethany really won this one.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's a real winner, as opposed to me. I guess I'm just a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And then what did Ramona say?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

She's like, something about, like, well, I'll tell you. Thank you for your gift, because I'm gonna keep.

[Ben Mandelker]

She goes, so Ramona gives her gift to Luann, because Ramona obviously does not like her gift.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She. She's like, whoa, since you got some household cleaner, you just got some Windex that's in a nice bow.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I feel bad for you, Luann.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And since I'm gonna give you my gift, because since I'm doing my own anti aging loin, I don't really need this. I can give this to you instead.

[Ben Mandelker]

And that's when Bethany's like, oh, okay.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

So she gotta give herself an infomercial.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what's going on.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, she can't just, like, say thank you. Okay. She can't be great. She gotta give herself her own infomercial anyway. Let me sit down on my skinny girl chair. Okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Dorinda's like, she just mentioned an infomercial. You know, why. Why can't she just support the face? We support skinny people.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Ramona goes. Ramona had, like, so many little gems this episode where she just Was making these, like, proclamations. She goes, friends, support friends.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Even if you're not my friend, just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Say, hey, good going, girl. I'm proud of you. Big ups. You're such a good friend.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Friends and friends forever.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what friends are for.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Keep trying, Keep smiling, Keep trying.

[Ronnie Karam]

Man's like, what, are you trying to rap now? All right, you can do Candace and Friends, the rap emcee from the dcc. It's Ramona Sing Keep Trying.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't remember the lyrics to that song.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Keep smiling, Keep being friends. That's what friends are for. For being friends for sure. Dionne Warwick is a singer in good times and bad times. I am, I guess, just a loser. I guess. According to Beth.

[Ronnie Karam]

The rest of the world is fucked.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Au revoir is French.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So then Tinsley and Lou start talking about they're all leaving. So Carol and Dorinda and who else is leaving? Carol, Dorinda. Like, a few of them leave.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, they haven't left yet because basically they're sitting around, it's like, oh, so what's the plans for the holidays? And Luan's like, well, let me go to Palm beach because my brother's Jupiter. I guess you could say I'm going out of this world.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Would you like to swing on a star?

[Ben Mandelker]

Anyone?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Anyone?

[Ronnie Karam]

Guess where that star is swinging?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Me.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm flying into West Palm Beach. Tinsley, just so you know, instead of just Palm Beach.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Sonny goes, isn't Tom gonna be there?

[Ronnie Karam]

Yeah, well, I don't know.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

How would I know?

[Ronnie Karam]

Why do you ask?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And she's like, I thought you were avoiding Tom Luann.

[Ben Mandelker]

And by the way, Trixie Monocle, again with the there. Because when Luann goes, I'm going. I'm going to Palm Beach. There was this ominous bass line where the basis, like, boom, boom, boom. Because, you know, ominous on real. Like, on any other show, ominous is like bom. But on this show, it's like, boom, boom, boom. Instead of bum, bum, bum, it's like, bom, bom.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Like.

[Ben Mandelker]

So.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Sonia's like, isn't.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Isn't Tom going to be down there? Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's really going back to the scene of the crime. Was like, in more ways than one.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Bethany's saying, oh, yeah, you moved.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

On so great girlfriend. Like, you've done so good. I'm so proud of you, how you've been moving on with that marathon and everything. Like, look at you. Marathon, moving on. You're moving on like a marathon man. Okay. It's great, you know, And I Heard he has that busted up girlfriend now. You know? I mean, that's what Carol told me. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't know that. Oh, I'm so sorry. What a dick.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

What a dick.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh yeah, because it was, it was Carol who left. Yeah, yeah, so. But anyway, so. So Bethany is like, yeah, and he.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Has some butts up girlfriend. You knew that, right? You didn't know that?

[Ben Mandelker]

Like, I don't want to talk about it. I mean, why would I talk about it? I'm just some, some low rent loser, I guess, who doesn't left behind, doesn't have a new boyfriend.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

But did you like how Bethany did the exact same thing she just got mad at Carol for. It's like, whoops.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Just mentioned that Carol's the one who told me she was a busted up, low down, dirty piece of crap. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Ronnie Karam]

So Luan's like, well, Tom should be under a rock. He knows all the girls know him. I mean, like, really, dude, lay low.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now we go on to Luann's blood drive, which is.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Oh wait, there's one quick thing. There's one quick thing. Okay, so Luann's like, well, I'm not upset at all.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm leaving.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And then Carol's like, me too, and Dorinda. So they leave and then Bethany's like.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Guys, Carol, Carol, right? She seems sad. What's wrong with Carol? I think it's because of Adam.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I was like, oh my God, how out of touch are you?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah, she seems system. I just can't get it. Like she seemed like she was at a 2, which is weird because she.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Doesn'T even like when we do it too.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, it's almost like, like it's almost like she's like fighting with someone who's like really close with her. She seems like really sad about it. It's probably about Adam.

[Ben Mandelker]

But actually, I mean, I don't. There probably is something true about that too. I mean, you know, car, this Carol Adam situation has sort of fallen apart and Carol probably does feel lonely, but it is weird. But, but Bethany, it's like she's also fighting with you, which is probably why she left early.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

That's probably why she's being distant. Yeah, she's being distant, you dope. Ramona's like I said thing because we.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Put out the night before we went to the Berkshires, me and Carol just alone.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like we went out.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Like that was really fun with me and Carol. And then we went to the Berkshires and you know, that was, you know, she Sat for the Berkshire.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Still. I don't know if you remembered, but.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Dorita.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And her face, Was it in her face? No. You know, things from the Berkshires.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Remember?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

In the Berkshires? Yeah. I don't know. Was it the dead guy? The guy who.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

That.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

The parksters.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Best thing where you did something to hurt her. I don't know. It's Adam.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm just imagining Luann just, like, opens the door again.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I mean, Bethany, she's mad at you. It's like, really, dude?

[Ronnie Karam]

Dick.

[Ben Mandelker]

Door closes again.

[Ronnie Karam]

It just opens up. I'm gonna kill you all. All right, I'm really leaving now. I'm really leaving.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

That's the way a loser leaves the party.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And typical Ramona. Well, there's no champagne, so I guess this is goodbye. Like, it's right there.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

There's champagne right there.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Ramona.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Oh, okay. Okay, I'll stay.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Where should I sit?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Okay, let's toast.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't know why I didn't write down any notes about that scene. That was like a significant moment. I think I was too engrossed. I was caught up. I was looking for my own champagne. I'm like, do I get to toast too? Okay.

[Ronnie Karam]

Because how can you write notes when we're doing something important for the Red Cross?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. Now we go over to Luann's blood drive with the Red Cross. And the irony of irony, as you already predicted, is that Luann was rejected from blood giving, as were all of them, because they. They weren't. They went to Mexico in the past year, and I probably like a Zika situation, right? So they weren't allowed to give blood. So she has a blood drive and no one's allowed to give blood. But.

[Ronnie Karam]

And she goes, I was turned away. I mean, I felt like such a loser. I love that.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's just a running theme in this episode. Like, what a loser Luann may or may not be.

[Ben Mandelker]

She has embraced. She has embraced her role.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I felt like, so bad.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, what a loser.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like a dick.

[Ben Mandelker]

So they're there.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, what's the matter?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

We told you, it's because of Mexico.

[Ronnie Karam]

No, it's.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

What's the matter?

[Ronnie Karam]

Coming towards us like a bull.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. Because here comes Wasamana and she's like, hi, it's Megan from Bethany's office. And I was like, how are you?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You are young.

[Ben Mandelker]

You are lower than me in life. You have a lower station in life. So therefore, I'll be formal with you and go, how are you?

[Ronnie Karam]

Thank you. How are you? Yes, I will take sparkling Water.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Thank you, you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And it says, and Megan's official title, Bethany's brand manager, as she's sitting here doing yet another errand for Bethany. Great brand managing, you know?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

So she's like, will you do me a favor? Will you tell somebody?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I told Bethany, Bethany, you look amazing. All right, now give me an intro to this Red Cross bitch, because I got Bethany stuff to do. So she's like, hey, Red Cross bitch, Bethany can't be here to give blood. And who would take it anyway? So here's $1,000 in cash cards, and we'd really appreciate it if you distributed that directly to those affected. Excuse you. That is not how the Red Cross works, Madame.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, and also, like, way to like. I mean, the woman from the Red Cross was very appreciative. Like, that is so wonderful of her. But, you know, inside, she was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? These cash cards, you know?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. Thank God it's so close to Christmas, honey. That was so heartfelt. Yeah, I will be shopping with these.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Carol shows up, and she's like.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

I can't donate my blood because I'm under the weight limit.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm like, well, a. That was like, a little bit of a backdoor brag. But also, you were in Mexico, so I brought cookies.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Sonia goes, oh, really, Carol?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, tell us, Carol, how are you? How are you, Carol?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sad. Because Bethany was saying you're sad. Are you sad? She just gets right to it. Oh, you poor thing. Let me stroke. Oh, your hair is falling out because you're so under the weight limit for blah, blah, blah. Are you sad about that too? Oh, did you not have a good time?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I guess I'm sad, but I'm not like, boohoo, sad. But I guess I am if everyone's saying it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And she goes, well, they said, Adam, that you're sad and that you're also.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Sad in general and that your cookies are sad.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I mean, they haven't said that yet, but they will.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So, like, why wait for another episode?

[Ben Mandelker]

And just remember, denial ain't just a river, that. I have a yacht going down. Okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I had sex with a hedge fund.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Guy on that yacht years ago. So if you need to glue back it back together a little bit, call Leo. He's great.

[Ben Mandelker]

I love the Nile. He's a great psychiatrist.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So, yeah, Sonia is with her now. These ladies do not waste any time.

[Ben Mandelker]

But Luan. Sorry.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Oh, no, go ahead.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I was gonna say that Luan also is stirring the pot because she goes up to Dorinda's like, so, what happened?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

What.

[Ben Mandelker]

What is this whole nutcracker situation? Like, why didn't Bethany. Thank you?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And, like, girl's like, dorinda's the one.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Who got the nutcracker.

[Ronnie Karam]

She goes, oh, I had no idea. I mean, you didn't say anything about it. So naturally, I gave props to that young man, that young, hot Santa man, young gift that you brought for me.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm like, well, who did you. Why would Dorinda's assistant be bringing it? People, come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, exactly. So now Ramona's talking to Carol about the stuff that Bethany said about. About Carol being sad.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Dad.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Carol, you know, Carol's like, well.

[Co-host or Guest (male commentator)]

I think it's pretty obvious that Bethany's really talking about herself. She's talking about herself. I think she has a hard time.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Painting and maintaining friendships.

[Ben Mandelker]

Painting. When I write down painting. Have time, mate, whatever.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She has a.

[Ben Mandelker]

Basically, Carol says that Bethany has a hard time creating and maintaining friendships, which is true, too. And that's what we've always said. Bethany's biggest problem is she cannot be in a friendship.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

And Car.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Dorinda's like, I was disappointed.

[Ronnie Karam]

I achieved something. I achieved something better than you couldn't. Do you know how hard that is to achieve something the best and you couldn't.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I mean, it would have been nice.

[Ronnie Karam]

To get a shout out is all I'm saying.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's all right. I just wanted to call up Z100 and be like, this is a shout.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Out to Dorinda for getting a nutcracker.

[Ben Mandelker]

And now I'd like to request a song by Zed.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Just put a fucking Dorinda wig on that nutcracker and let's all be done with it. Well, so ridiculous, the way her hair is going.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's not that far from it. I'm telling you, Luke, get that hair in shape. All right, so Carol, you know, Carol actually has a good point, too, which is like. Well, basically, if Bethany was so concerned that I was sad, it would have meant a lot more if she pulled me aside, was like, how are you doing? You know? Although now I'm gonna contradict myself. You know, sometimes you, like, if you're in a social situation, you see that someone looks sad after the fact, you go, you know, I think that person looks sad. And then you maybe reach out to them. But, like, I don't know. I don't think that what. I don't think that what Bethany said is the worst thing in the world.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

No, I think. Carol, come on, Carol, you were being distant she. You left. And she was basically like, why is Carol being distant? I mean, why is this like, then don't be distant then? Yeah, I mean, come on. Like, you can't say, oh, I forgive.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And then she's like, why don't forgive yet?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's like, oh, geez.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

So now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, I was gonna say her revenge is to now wind up Ramona about Bethany. Is that what you're gonna say?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She's like, so, Ramona, what did Bethany say about me?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She says.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Well, she said, carol is lonely. So sad without Adam being lonely. She's so lonely. She looks lonely. She smells lonely. Lonely.

[Ronnie Karam]

Lonely.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Facial lonely. Facelift in a box lonely. That's what you look like. Lonely.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Ramona just kept saying lonely.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, lonely teardrops.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, so Carol. So, Carol, girls.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You mentioned skincare, and she said. She said you were trying to do an infomercial. That must not have made you feel great.

[Ronnie Karam]

And Dorinda's like, guys, where else are you allowed to speak to people like that?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

The way she talks to us. Where else?

[Ronnie Karam]

Why are we letting someone talk like that to us? We don't talk like that. Get that goddamn blood talking thing away from me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Ramona realizes that she suddenly has a horse in this whole race, and she.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Goes, yeah, it was hurtful.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was hurtful. I'm like, okay, Ramona, suddenly the delicate flower, you know, who can't take, like, a simple joke about the infomercial. Yeah, hypocritical, for sure. But, like, it wasn't really that hurtful. So then Ramona goes, bethany claims to.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Be a big supporter of women, but doesn't support. Start at home with other women. She's not supporting any of us, okay? Let's face it. She doesn't support anyone. Reminds this one time when there's a little. And I was having dinner, and I was like, could you please pass the bread? And Jodine Parson Smith said, no, no more bread for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're a fat little girl. And I said, whoa. But doesn't support start at home?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

And she said, no, support starts with your bra. Okay? And to this day, I've never had bread.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I don't know. Bread rolls.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So we leave these crazies, and then we go, oh, no. So now Sonia and Ramona are walking around together, just defending everybody, getting giving blood.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, basically. Yeah. They're just, like, walking. These people are, like, feeling woozy. They're about to pass out. And, like, meanwhile, Ramona and Sonia are walking around being like, let's go check our iron levels. You know, if you have too much iron, you get constipated. Well, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I actually would like to be constipated a little bit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, really?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Well, you know, I just. I want my poops to be a little firmer.

[Ben Mandelker]

I want them to have.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I want them to be more al dente, you know, not that I eat.

[Ben Mandelker]

Them, but I just want them to.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Have a good, firm, tactile feel. But it's a little too loose. Oh, that means you don't have any iron.

I have.

No. I need more.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I am okay right now.

[Ronnie Karam]

I have duck poops, so I have duck poops.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And then the late. They just pass this lady who's, like, horrified by the whole thing.

[Ben Mandelker]

Could you imagine if they could give blood? Could you imagine having, like, Durand's blood coursing through your body? That's a really, really intense feeling.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Or like, Luann suddenly just start stabbing yourself. Like, what is happening to me?

[Ben Mandelker]

I just lit my face on fire. So now a small but, like, epic, iconic scene. I think this scene will go down with, like, the Brooklyn Bridge scene, because we suddenly see Ramona walking her dog on. On the sidewalks of New York. And she's walking around, and the phone rings, and it's Bethany. And Bethany calls up, and she's. She's on. She's like. She's upset. She's. She's agitated, and she starts. We can tell she's, like, winding up to go in on Ramona, and she's.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, you know, I. I don't have any girlfriends, and a few girlfriends that I have.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Ramona's basically, like. She basically starts talking.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Point.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

What's your point, Bethany? What's your point?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like, she's already starting to get mad because she can tell that she's about to get yelled at.

[Ben Mandelker]

Exactly.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So Bethany's like, you didn't even let.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Me get to my point. You didn't even let me get to my point. I'm gonna tell you my point if you'll just let me get there. Like, can we get this down to a 7? Or, like a 2?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Or, like a 0?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

A 0 would be great.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. Bethany really has to work on that. It is really irritating that, like, she.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

She.

[Ben Mandelker]

She does get hung up on.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

He's like, you're not letting me talk.

[Ben Mandelker]

She did that with Ramona back in the Berkshires last year, too, when they were starting to have their talk, and she's like, so. So basically, Bethany said, you know, Sonia told me that you guys were all talking about me at the Red Cross event, you know? And so then she says, so I.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Do have good friends, and Carol's actually one of them. And I feel like through this group, you have your different moments with each person, and, like, you've definitely done, like, emotional damage.

[Ben Mandelker]

And most like, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You sound very negative, and I'm in.

[Ben Mandelker]

A great place, okay? And Bethany's like, well, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You enjoy. You enjoy.

You're.

You're enjoying my argument with Carol.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's what you like.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You like. You like it a lot. And I was like, I don't enjoy any arguments.

[Ben Mandelker]

What are you talking about? I hate arguments.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Whenever you see me smiling when you guys are arguing, that's because I'm thinking.

[Ben Mandelker]

About a happier time when you guys weren't arguing.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm not enjoying myself at all. I'm actually the saddest when I'm smiling during your arguments, okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Meanwhile, the dog is standing just in the street.

[Ronnie Karam]

In the street, Ramona standing in the.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Street, just, like, completely not paying attention. And, you know, I cannot believe that this dog did not get just completely splatted all over the street because it's just standing in the street. Like, who does that? It's like, you know what?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

I don't even care about your relationship with Carol, okay? Like, what are you calling me about this? Like, why are you blaming me? I don't even care, okay? I don't even care. You know what? I care about my dog making a.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Little pee pee, okay?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

That's all I care about. Make a little pee pee.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Like, how many times do I have to tell?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Just make a little pee poops. You pray on the week. Like, what is wrong with you? You pray on the week.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I'm like, oh, yeah, you're so weak, Bethany. Yeah. And also having these moments with everybody and also f you for having me take Ramona side that this has ever happened.

[Ben Mandelker]

This was so. This is. This was an unhinged moment from Bethany. And I have to say, I think Ramona read Bethany. What. What do you say to. To hell. To wherever? She just, like, she just took her down. And it was like, whoa. Because Bethany's like.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Like, you know what? You say you support women.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Ramona goes, no, actually, you don't support women.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

I'm very, very upset and hurt that you had the audacity at your lunch.

[Ben Mandelker]

I came out and I said, I.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Was making a skincare line. And you said, oh, wow, that's an infomercial. And when you left and right, bring up every left and right. You bring up every product that you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Do and you don't support other women.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You don't acknowledge anybody for anything they ever do. And as soon as Carol left the party, you talked about it behind her back. So how do you have the audacity to talk to me like you're talking to her? How do. You didn't. How about you didn't even give Dorinda credit for the. Getting the nutcracker.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You know how upset you got Dorinda.

[Ben Mandelker]

For not acknowledging she got you that.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Nutcracker for your daughter?

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, I'm sorry. Your problem is with yourself.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Don't put it on me.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Yeah, you put everybody down to make yourself look good. Okay? And I'm not having any part of that.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So I'm hanging up now by this clicks up. Meanwhile, she's like dragging a dead dog and doesn't even notice.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You don't support other women whose dogs just died during this phone call.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay. It was such an amazing monologue. It was like.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It was Ramona Monologues. Okay, everyone, just. We'll gather just famous actresses to gather rounded read Ramona Monologues.

[Ben Mandelker]

I. I love Ramona's decision. Just her. Her. Her casual feminism.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

What.

[Ben Mandelker]

Their convenient feminism for what it works to take down this idea. You don't support other women. I mean.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I mean, you not support women.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Okay, you neither. That's what it should be called. Hashtag you neither, Bethany.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

You neither.

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, it's. It's true. I don't think Bethany is great with supporting other women, but I love that suddenly Ramona cares about that. Like out of nowhere, Ramona cares about it supporting other women.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Well, now they've all decided that that's their thing. So we saw at the Red Cross.

[Ronnie Karam]

Thing, Winter is like, why would we let anybody stack.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Everybody has decided now they're going to go after Bethany for not supporting win. That's like their uniting cause now for the rest of the season, which, you know, all this is going to do is get everybody back on Bethany's side. So you guys go for it. Because, look, I was. I've been anti and then pro every other week. I changed sides. But I know that this is going to put me on Bethany's side because now you guys are just ganging up on Bethany.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like they are. They really are. They. It is now turning against Bethany, but Bethany did herself no favors in the scene because she really was like, she needed to take a seat when she's coming at Ramona about, like, you know, you're. You're enjoying other people's arguments. You know, she was. I was like, ramona really wasn't part of this, and she wasn't really starting the ship between them. But I have to say, it was all worth it. I mean, to get these lines. I mean, listen to this line. How about, you didn't give Dorinda credit for getting the nutcracker? I mean, what sort of line is that? Like, can you believe these things are coming out of her mouth? You know?

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Do you know how upset you got Dorinda for not acknowledging she got you that nutcracker for your daughter?

[Ben Mandelker]

Do you know?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And the rest of the season is completely sad. So then we go over to Luann where her realtor Ann, is there, and she's found her a perfect rental. Oh, isn't it perfect? I mean, look at this.

[Ronnie Karam]

There's a door to the outside. The dog just goes out there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Isn't amazing the way doors work?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And Anne's like, oh, it's a new chapter. It's the perfect place for your new chapter. For example, you go outside, and then you just. You know, you're facing a wall. So, I mean, just put your hands up against the wall and just breathe deep, because that's your new chapter.

[Ronnie Karam]

Now Lu's like, well, it's been done. I love this bad boy. Bad boy. Whatcha gonna do? What you gonna do when Anne finds a penthouse for you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, yes. I. I feel like I have a clean slate. I mean, everything's gonna be uphill for me. Well, I mean, like, everything's. We're on no place to go but up from here. Except you can't go that far up, because I do have the penthouse.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Ha.

[Ronnie Karam]

Well, I won't be here much anyway, because I'll be going to Palm beach. Regular tinsley. Then I'll be going to Chile. Then I'll be going to Argentina, and then I.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Because 48 hours later, it'll be such a great trip.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'll be totally unshackled.

[Ronnie Karam]

Don't try and tie me down.

[Ben Mandelker]

I can't wait to try each and every cocktail in all these countries. Because surely that's what I'll be doing. Drinking cocktail after cocktail. I will continue to be drinking cocktails and walking around like a free lady from country to country, all through South America. Nothing's gonna stop me. Not nothing in the entire world.

[Ronnie Karam]

48 hours later. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Dun dun dun dun dun. Sits in the back of that cop car in.

[Ronnie Karam]

In Palm Beach.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

No, don't touch me.

[Ben Mandelker]

I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you all with my singing.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Killing you all softly with my songs.

[Ronnie Karam]

And so she's like, why are these things on me?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Can I just get out of them? And he's like, I'm gonna hogtie you if you don't stop.

[Ronnie Karam]

Oh, I love prosciutto. Oink, oink.

[Ben Mandelker]

That sounds delicious. Tie me up, Officer. I don't mind. Hog time.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Yeah, up.

[Ben Mandelker]

I just love that she's me.

[Ronnie Karam]

I'll send you. I'll send you a thank you note after. Hog tie me up.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Tie, baby. Hog tie. Send me your love, baby, Baby, your love.

[Ben Mandelker]

Hog tie.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yeah. So she's just wasted. She slips out of her ties, which is.

[Ben Mandelker]

She slipped out of. I've never seen someone do that. She Houdini that. She got out of her handcuffs. And she's like, why?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a male commentator)]

Why?

[Ben Mandelker]

Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Why?

[Ronnie Karam]

I'm gonna kill you all.

[Ben Mandelker]

What did I do wrong? What did I do? What did I. What did I do to deserve this?

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I cannot believe they used that footage, Sadie.

[Ben Mandelker]

And they show her in jail on the. And the judge is like, now, I don't know if you have a drinking problem or not, but you should probably stop drinking. It's like, bum, bum, bum.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

To be continued.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Wow.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Wow.

[Ben Mandelker]

That was amazing. And so hilarious that they just. She's. They show her literally talking about going to Chile and. Chile and Argentina and, you know, excited about her new chapter and all the fun things she'll be doing. And it's like 48 hours later, she's. They show security footage. I mean, so shady. Way to take the piss out of her.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

So she's amazing. People love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So good.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

And that brings us to the end.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. What a. Just an amazing, amazing episode. If Luann's a loser, then we are all winners. That's what I say.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

I loved this episode. Thank you, Real Housewives of New York, for everything you give us. And everybody, thank you so much for being here.

[Ben Mandelker]

All right, bye, everyone.

[Co-host or Guest (female commentator)]

Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier Aaron McNicholas she don't.

[Ben Mandelker]

Miss no Trickolus Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Namey she's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jessica Trot she's our favorite streamer Caroline.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera Syrah Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be she gets a name from us It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisalino Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McKinnon Henry Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is living with Michelle Vivian I.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Love Aya Olivia Williamson, she sure is swell.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Raquel.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Yes, we can. It's Savannah.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.

[Ben Mandelker]

Lopez.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She's VV IP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

[Ben Mandelker]

Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Ben Mandelker]

Let's get real with Kaitlyn o' Neal.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Ben Mandelker]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master. The master of the Cork cork Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My Favorite Murdo Karen McMurdo She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manok in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock G. It's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy, always killing it.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

It's Lola Al Kalani the incredible edible Matthew Sisters she eases our woes. It's Melissa Saint Row. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

[Ben Mandelker]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon.

[Ben Mandelker]

Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

She ain't no shrinking violet.

[Ben Mandelker]

Cootard.

[Co-host or Guest (possibly a female commentator)]

We love you guys.