A (2:31)

We all know who did it. We all know who did it.

B (2:33)

We all know who did it. He knows who did it. But I don't like mystery shows that end like that. That it's like. Well, it's up to you guys. No, don't make it this whole big thing and this whole big plot, and it's all over social media. There's news stories about it, for Christ's sake. Okay? It is in the news. It's like, Venezuela, who shit in the toilet? Mean, who in the shower? That's what's in the news. And then you just say, that's it. No, I need more from you. Bravo. Below deck. Bravo.

A (3:02)

There's cameras all over that boat. They know who went in at what time. It's not. This is not a mystery. They are protecting the guests for whatever reason. I don't know why they decided to protect the guests. I don't know. Are they afraid of being sued for documenting that someone went into the shower and shat in the drain? I don't know why they're protecting anyone on this. Why are they?

B (3:22)

I don't either. Stop protecting poopers, okay? And also, we've been getting a lot of DMS and messages from people who work in hospitality in all kinds of places. Vegas, I don't know, just lots of places. I don't need to go through every individual email, but lots of stories of people doing this, just pooping down, like, shoving poop down drains. And I just have to say, humanity. Stop it. Just stop it. Enough already.

A (3:48)

Toilet. Poop in the toilet.

B (3:50)

And if you poop in the shower, pick it up with your hands and put it in the toilet, and then wash your hands in the shower and stop being disgusting.

A (3:57)

Exactly, because you're already sullying one appendage by jamming it down the drain with your foot. So, like, I don't know how it's any different than doing it with your hand instead and putting it into the toilet. Like, don't be ridiculous. Like, yeah, like, try not to be like a barbarian, especially on a yacht.

B (4:15)

Right? So we didn't know who shit the drain, but we do know who shit the bed. And that was Joe. What a loser. What a fucking loser.

A (4:24)

So it was. It was. By the way, this was. This. This was. Well, you know, he's a piece of shit. But by the way, the. The post production just must have had so much fun doing this episode. I mean, for Such a sad episode. It was a very sad episode. This was V coming back, you know, honor on her birthday, and she wants to celebrate the death of her boyfriend, this guy Bond, who she really loved, who drowned. And the way they just keep cutting back to Joe crying, crying. He's not crying because Bond died. He's not crying because he feels bad for Victoria. He's just crying because if he feels like the piece of that's in the shower drain because for one night, he couldn't just keep it together. And, you know, out of respect for V and her birthday and her boyfriend dying, he just couldn't even do that. So he's crying for himself and crying because he knows he looks like a shit on shit on tv. I don't even think he feels bad about doing it. I think he just feels bad.

B (5:22)

Agreed that.

A (5:23)

That it was caught on camera, right?

B (5:25)

Because he was coming back with his Bravo, like, I'm Joe Bradley 2.0, and trying to pretend like he was a different person and blew it. He, you know, so he knew he was going to be getting mean comments on Twitter or whatever and on Instagram, and so he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And so. And so also, sobbing like that during someone else's, like, funeral or memorial service is just so gross. Like a gross person. Joe.

A (5:53)

Exactly. And meanwhile, you know, V is crying because this is a terrible anniversary. And you also have Kathy who just found out that her stepfather died, like, the night before, and she is a wreck, a full wreck. And. And Joe's going to cry. Like, Joe's going to act like he's the. The biggest, you know, victim of something terrible happening to him. And, you know, you know, this was. He was crying about himself and not for V. Because spoiler alert to this episode, when V ultimately breaks up with him, not a tear is shed. He is not crying over the dissolution of that relationship. He is not crying that, like, she doesn't want him anymore. He's not moping around. There's like, nothing. One sense.

B (6:32)

Not.

A (6:33)

Not one. Not one shred of remorse. And there's not one instance of sadness. But when he is. But in the last episode, it's nothing but that. Because it's not about V in the last episode. It's about his self image. He's such garbage. Garbage person.

B (6:48)

Yeah, garbage human. So gross. So we pick up in this episode and also that whole episode, I mean, that whole Bond thing was really sad. I don't know, the whole, like, the whole thing of, like, my boyfriend died, so I'm gonna cry on Instagram. Like, that's so weird to me that people do that. But I guess that's just modern times, huh? Just like, I'm crying. Like, hey, guys. Like, there were scenes of her being like, hey, guys, it's me. I'm gonna feel things today. And then she would go back on Instagram and be like, hey, guys, it's me. I'm crying. I'm crying, guys. Like, who does that? Why are you doing that? Stop doing that.

A (7:22)

I always think it's weird.

B (7:24)

Just, everybody stop. Because I know that people do that now, but that's, like, in the drain. Just stop doing it. Like, close the door.

A (7:31)

Well, it's really weird when people go to funerals and then. And then they take selfies at the funeral or they take, like, a picture with people. They're like, look at us crying. You're like, yeah, why are you. But, like, you're using this as. As social media content. You know, I don't. I don't know. It just seems like a weird thing to advertise, you know, and people do it all the time. And, you know, they'll be standing there, or sometimes they'll even be smiling like, hey, and you're like, you're at a funeral. What's wrong with you? But you know what? I think it. I will say that if someone is, like, crying on Instagram, you know, over someone who passed, you know, if this is their way of eulogizing them, like, that's fine to me, but. But I think that people's behaviors with social media and funerals are really strange. I'm not going to lie. Like, that's just not where I'm trying to do a selfie or not trying to be like, here's my outfit of the day. Or. Or like, look at us. Look at us. I'm also, like, not trying to, like, advertise how sad I am. Meaning that, like. Like, look. Look at me mourning. I'm like, it's one thing to get on social media and be. Express sadness for a person and pay tribute, but, like, here's a picture of me standing in a suit at the cemetery. I'm like, why are you doing that? I don't know.

B (8:44)

I don't know. Yeah, it's weird to me, like, put social media. I don't. I don't want that on my social media, you know, or people's gym selfies. But we could be here all day with that. Yeah, but constant. Like, I know this guy on Facebook who every day is putting himself shirtless on there. Like, we See? You know what I mean? We see. Congratulations on your protein, bro. Like, congrats on your macros. Okay, so I guess that's my request for the world. I have three requests for the new year for people don't shit in drains and leave it there. Don't take off your shirt every day for no reason and talk about your macros. And also, stop sobbing all of those things on social media, please. I guess the shit in the drain wasn't social media, so that was a little off. But still, you get social media. To me, that's equal as to just sobbing on social media. I don't want to see it. They're all things that I don't want to see on social media, so please stop it.

A (9:38)

My wish is still the same. It's pretty much all of what you said. Plus, I don't need to see your baby next to a little chalkboard that says how many weeks old they are. Sorry, I just don't need to see it.

B (9:54)

I don't. Okay, so poop and drains. Give me an shirtless macros. Sobbing about dead people and your fucking baby and how many days old it is. We don't. We don't care about any of those things. You know what? Just stop using social media. Everybody just go. But everybody buy a Kindle and just do that.

A (10:14)

I care about the one year. I care about the 18 months. I care about annual. Annual things. Here. Here's where I will be okay with it. If you do take that picture because you want to chart the growth, take a bunch of the pictures, take like 20 of them and make a carousel. So it's just one fell swoop, and then we can swipe through and it'll be like a flip book. Then we see the baby getting bigger. But if it's just like, like, okay, here's week three, and the baby is next to you. Put out the little board and that has the little letters on it that says, you know, seven weeks. I'm like, I. This is immaterial to me. I. And I. I get this. I say this as someone who puts up a picture of a cake. And I know people are like, why do I care about your cake? I get it. I get it. I'm not saying I'm not.

B (10:53)

Well, you can eat the cake. You can't eat any of those other things that we talked about. You know what I mean? You can't eat babies. The cake is absolutely poop in the drain. You can't eat somebody's gym selfie, and you can't eat Somebody sobbing, but you can eat a cake.

A (11:07)

Yeah. And I feel like with the cake, it's like, I didn't think this was gonna work out, but, look, it actually worked out. And I know you could say that about a baby, but I feel like the baby almost always works out, so I'm just gonna, like, the baby's always gonna be a baby, right? Give birth to a box.

B (11:20)

Actually, speaking of working out, like, whether it works out or not, babies actually obviously don't work out a lot of the time, especially once they hit teenagers start posting their. Their fails as children. That's what I want to see. I'm just like, my. My baby hit somebody with a rock today in second grade and was expelled. That's what I want to see on social media. I want to see your. Your terrible parenting come to fruition, saying, you'll get my life. Saying babies.

A (11:48)

Yes, there are many. It's very hard to. It's much harder to give birth to a baby than it is to bake a cake for 35 minutes. But what I will say is that you always know, like, you're not going to be like, I'm giving birth to my baby, and then a tire pops out. Like, it's going to be a baby, but with the cake, you just really don't know. Like, that's, like, it's craziness with a cake.

B (12:06)

I don't know. I don't know if you've seen some of these kids on my timeline.

A (12:11)

Because.

B (12:12)

I'm sure nobody planned that one. All right, let's get on with it. So we pick up where we left off, with Joe sobbing in the bathroom for himself and going, what kind of man am I?

A (12:22)

Who. Who even am I doing this?

B (12:25)

Oh, stop acting like this was five seconds of you just deciding to drunkenly make out with somebody. You were at that girl's asshole the entire day and the day before that.

A (12:33)

Stop.

B (12:33)

Stop it. Stop. At least. You know, I feel like Kizzy's even getting more because of girl code and all that, which I get. But Kizzy's at least honest. She's like, so what? I liked him, too.

A (12:46)

I actually have to say, in a weird way, I kind of respected Kizzy more than Joe in this situation. Well, not. Not by much, but I agree with you. I think respect is a stretch. Respect is not.

B (13:00)

But I get what you mean.

A (13:01)

It's like I'm. I'm more like going. I went more like, huh? You know this. When. When V had her, when she. Once she processed and started circling around to everyone And Kizzy was like, yeah, I'm not gonna apologize because I like him. And we've always had a connection. And yeah, we just decided to kiss. I mean, it was definitely like, bitchy and it was mean and it was a violation of girl code. But at least she was like, she wasn't trying to soften it. She's like, this is just where I stand, you know? Whereas Joe is just like full of. And lying. And they both are lying. They both are lying and acting like this was a spur of the moment drunken thing. And it wasn't. We all saw. Everyone saw. So now he's. He's sobbing. And, you know, part of the problem also with his relationship with V is that it never was like a proper relationship. It was definitely a Madonna horror complex situation going on where because she had a trauma in her past, he treated her like she was some sort of special porcelain doll that, like, could not be. Had to be. You have to wear special gloves with. And like, she's so delicate. And it like. Well, it was just never going to work out because he was never really seeing her as like just a full fledged human. He just was treating her like this special thing that if he could treat this special thing well, it's like that science experiment is the, the, the project you do. And when you're a kid, when you have to take care of an egg, you know. You ever do that?

B (14:16)

Yes, I failed it. I'm sure that's a shock. I killed the giga pet too. I kill everything like that. But yeah, I think he, I think you're right. I think he was doing the thing where it's like, okay, I need to repair my reputation this season. So I'm not only going to like, be a good, like, cool quote, unquote boyfriend to somebody, I'm gonna do it to somebody in need. Like, yeah, it's like emotionally cripple. You know what I mean? Like, emotionally hurt in some way that is gonna make me look even better. Like, I'll get more points because she's mourning.

A (14:49)

Yeah. And it's like. And, and he, I think he actually also believes he will be mature if he can do this. He will now know that he's mature. I mean, we see this with every single fuckboy on all these shows and is that they, they try to have a very serious relationship where they, they play house, essentially. You know what? They play house. They play house and that's what they do. And, and they think for a moment, like, oh, because I'm in this relationship, I am Therefore, mature and I've grown up. And it's like, no. Because the patterns continue on. And this exactly what happened here. But this just had that extra layer of him being like, victoria, you're so special, Victoria. And you're like, shut up, bro. Like, you don't. You're just. You're just. You're doing this not even. Because you're really that even attracted to her, I believe. I think you're doing it because you want to just improve your self image, both to the world and to yourself.

B (15:38)

Yeah, and how much could she possibly care, too? Because they've been together for five seconds. You know, this whole thing is just magnified because of the dead boyfriend stuff, you know, and also his. Like, you're the only one, Victoria. You're the only one for me. I want nobody else. So Nathan is also getting on my fucking nerves. This episode with his, like, oh, what a day. Roller coaster. I don't think I've loved anyone this fucking much before, to be totally honest. I can't believe Gail. Poor Gail. Oh, Gal, Gal, what have I done? Gal, Gal, you were about to fuck Kizzy five seconds ago, and the only reason you didn't was because the bed wasn't free. So let's stop acting like you've come upon this huge thing, too. I thought there was going to be this moment in this relationship where I was going to start rooting for Nathan again. Nope. I'm just rooting for her to run. And I'm so upset that she got pregnant. Wow. Yeah, that was. She went and got pregnant from this guy and then all this other stuff happened, you know, after. It's like, oh, that poor girl. Poor Gail.

A (16:36)

Yeah, I actually would, you know, I. You know, I was into this narrative and I would have totally fallen for it because I was really growing to like Nathan this season. But really, all his Islamophobia was so off the charts and crazy. It's just like, oh, man. Like, oh, turn. You're just trash, aren't you? So I can't root. And also, look, I feel like it wasn't addressed. Like, you ghosted her. You ghosted her for five days. That's so inappropriate and so wrong. And I don't know why she didn't really grill him about that. Maybe they already had that grilling. But, like, you just. You like why you can't do that to someone and then expect them to just take you back just because you keep on saying that you're. They're the love of your life. I mean, if they were the love of your life. Why did you do that? I don't want to hear some cliche story about how your parents got divorced. Your sister. Your sister and her fiance broke up, and so therefore you. You lost your faith in relationships. Come on, get out of here.

B (17:28)

And he lost his faith in relationships because the brother in law backed away from him after he divorced his sister. So now he's. Now he.

A (17:35)

Of course.

B (17:35)

Now he ghosts people.

A (17:37)

Oh, come on. Shut up. What is it? He's like, they discontinued Crystal Pepsi. So now I don't believe in love anymore.

B (17:45)

No. Stop drinking Zima. So I'm done with relationships. I just don't trust anybody anymore.

A (17:51)

And what about the Zun, who has a great alternative? And now there are no alternatives.

B (17:56)

So he's going on and on about, oh, Gale, this is Gayle's last night. She's leaving tomorrow. Oh. The amount of emotions just going through my body is now insane. And I want to see if we can try and arrange, like, meeting up afterwards. I just want to make it work. Yeah, you want to arrange for her to stay where you are. Nowhere in this. Were you saying you're going to go where she is. I know.

A (18:16)

That was. I noticed that too. I was like, why are you not. Why is your pitch to say, wherever you are, I'm coming to you? Not be like, why are you making her rearrange her schedule and her living situation for you?

B (18:28)

Yeah, exactly. So then Josh the clown chef, who I still can't get behind. I don't care what anybody says. He doesn't seem like a mean person. I don't hate him, but I cringe. I cringe hard. My butthole cringes. It clenches. And he's like. He's. He sings. He pulls out his guitar and sings an off key. This is a ballad of Nathan and Gail. Will they stay together or will one of them bail? Will one of them bail? Please die. Please die. Please let this musical career die. And the clown career. Yeah, and cut your hair and shave your mustache. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

C (19:11)

Mom, I saw Dylan's dad make dinner, like, actually cook. And it was straight fire. He said it was Blue Apron Assemble and Bake. Ingredients showed up pre chopped and he just laid it out on a baking sheet. And no cap. Dinner was on the table in like 25 minutes. Apparently it's chef design and it has like over 40 grams of protein. That's a lot, right? So maybe we try it. Just saying, you can be the next Dylan's dad. Blue Apron. Get $50 off your first two orders, plus free shipping with code STIR50. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blue apron.com terms for.

A (19:46)

So, Joe. Joe comes. Joe's finished crying, and he's like, you want to come talk with me? So he takes her upstairs, and she's like, are you okay? He's like, no. He goes, I do believe I'm a nice person. I try and do good in the world, but I've got this sense of, like, failure. Like, I failed Victoria and being honest. Do you have that sense of it, or is it a huge awareness that you have?

B (20:11)

You did fail, you loser. That's why.

A (20:14)

You know, what gives that. You know what? You know what's a really good way to get a sense of failure is failure.

B (20:19)

I believe that I'm a good person. You're not a good person, okay? Even believing it is just lying to yourself. Stop. I believe I'm a good person.

A (20:29)

I believe I am. I'm just trying. And notice the way for the rest of the episode, especially when after they break up, every time he. He. He frames the situation, he puts himself in this passive mode, which is what all the boys do. They always say, like, oh, you're trou. This is. This always happens to me. He puts himself in the passive mode, and he almost makes himself. He almost makes himself be, like, a better person. He tried. He makes himself sound like a better person. Like, he did something noble by. By trying to date V and then failing at it. Like, he pushed himself out of his comfort zone as if he, like, went skydiving for the first time. Right?

B (21:06)

Like, I was just. I was just trying to get that graduate degree, but I couldn't get there. It's like, no, you weren't.

A (21:11)

I tried.

B (21:13)

I tried saving all the people from that burning building, but, oh, my arm was burning. I had to get out of there.

A (21:17)

I tried pickled herring. I tried pickled herring for the first time. I wasn't something I normally would like, and I didn't like it, but I tried it. It's like, no, don't get credit.

B (21:25)

I tried to save the orphans from the bus that was about to crash into the tree, but then I made off of the Kizzy. What can I tell you? I've got a penis that won't stop.

A (21:34)

So they go upstairs to the deck to talk, and he's like, ah, come over here. He's talking all quiet, and he's, like, all nervous, and he's like, okay. And everyone's watching downstairs on the closed circuit tv. And he's. And he's like, well, you know, you don't have to be all proper about this. Like, it's all good. Like, what's going on? He's like, ah, so, ah, well, ah. Because I've got something to say to you. She's like, what? I up, as in when you were gone, me and Kizzy, I was super drunk. We're in the Jacuzzi. Jacuzzi sounds like Kizzy. So naturally something's gonna happen in there. We were talking and we walked down, and then I kissed her. I put me lips on her lips. That's all that happened. I can't remember anything, you know, just what I got told. I don't know anything. What happens. I don't even know who Kizzy is.

B (22:23)

Yeah. And he's like, I hate. And meanwhile, Kizzy's watching this on the tv, and everyone's like, groaning, like, oh, my God. Why is he doing this? Because he promised that he wouldn't do this to today. You know, they were. Asha was like, don't do this today. This is a meaningful day. You know, have your moment. Another day. This is not your day. And of course, he can't help himself, so he jumps on it today. And so they're all groaning, watching this. And Kizzy's just rolling her eyes, like, oh, geez. And so. And also, I don't know, I think it was the other episode where Kizzy says to Aisha, she's like, oh, my God, I don't know what I'm gonna tell. I don't know what I'm gonna tell her. Like, what do I tell Vy?

A (23:01)

Asa goes, just tell her, sorry, I'm a stupid bitch.

B (23:05)

How about that?

A (23:06)

Yeah, that was gold.

B (23:08)

So anyway, he continues on with his monologue, and he's like, I hate cheaters. Even though we're not in a relationship. I've just gotta put that in there. No, we're not in a relationship. But you did say five times, I don't want anyone else. You're all, I'm all in. I'm all in. So I'm not really sure what you call that language, sir. Okay, but it's not a relationship.

A (23:28)

You're the one selling the dream. Okay? So he's like, I'm not gonna, like, end this in two weeks or whatever. I'm like, this is gonna end in two weeks or whatever. You're too. You're too special to lose you, you know? So over a drunken kiss. I mean no disrespect. To Kizzy, but she means nothing to me. And you're something special that I haven't had for literal years. Ever since that time I got defrauded by a man, I wound up eating baguettes in the middle of Spain. So I just feel like I need to say this to you. Forgive me.

B (23:56)

I was overweight for 10 minutes. I love that Kizzy has to hear over and over in this season, she means nothing to me because she's had to hear it from every guy she's tried to bang this season. Well, you know, there was Kizzy, but. Yeah, gross. Not Kizzy. Really into you.

A (24:15)

Yeah.

B (24:15)

And I just love that she has to sit at home, hopefully, with Tommy cuddling and watching that over and over again. So she's like, okay. And V does the cool girl thing where she's like, okay. Like, I appreciate that. And he's like, okay. She goes, but would you do it sober? So, okay, then if you wouldn't do it sober, then that settles it. Just don't do it again. All right? I mean, like, you were super drunk. Like, what am I gonna do? I mean, okay.

A (24:45)

I was like, what? The beginning. Have some standards. Think about the fact that he did this. Not just that he did it, but he did it on the eve of your birthday, on the eve of the anniversary of your boyfriend's death, which is a really important thing. And he doesn't know how you're going to react. And at worst, it'll be a total violation for you, and it's going to be a stab on a day where you've already had the biggest stab of your entire life and how cruel that is, and you're just going to let him off the hook. I was so upset, set. I was. You know what? I was trying to do, like, mental workarounds. Like, you know what, though? I kind of love that she's like, well, this guy, I don't really care. Like, he's. He's all contorted. Like, if she knows it's not serious, she's just gonna have fun. She doesn't care, really, about this. I was, like, trying to be like, maybe this is empowering the way her approach is. But, like, ultimately, I was like, this is shitty. And I was really so happy that she, like, processed and, like, changed course.

B (25:38)

I actually liked this reaction better, but I wish it had gone a little further. I. I liked that because, look, she's crying over another guy. She's talking much. She loves the other guy. She just spent the whole day on Instagram talking about how Much she loves that. She just spent today talking about how much she loves the guy, which is right. She's not wrong for doing that. So Joe is just some loser that she's making out with on a boat. Like, I don't think she thinks of it that seriously. But I wish she had been like, okay, listen, I get it. You're a boy, you made out with a girl when you were drunk on a boat. But I don't want to hang out with you either. Like, gross.

A (26:12)

Yeah.

B (26:13)

Instead of being like, okay, it's cool, let's get back to making out and go party. But I think that she would have been, you know, she would have been able to continue this had he not continued to be an idiot the rest of the day. I mean, they leave this and then they go out and he's still all over Kizzy and Kizzy's still all over him. I mean, those two are shameless. Like, they're shameless.

A (26:35)

Exactly. That's. That is the thing. And I, I don't know, I, I just, I wanted her to. I really like your take for what her reaction would have been. A really satisfying reaction, which is like, okay, that's fine. I don't take this seriously. But I also don't appreciate the. How careless you were with my feelings just now. So. Bye. Because that's ultimately what it was. Is that like. Yeah, it's. They might not be in a deep relationship, but like this is. She's like the most vulnerable she's going to be and she's in such a fragile place and he doesn't really know how she's going to be. She doesn't know how she's going to be. The one year anniversary, the death of the love of her life. And he's going to do commit sort of like a big betrayal to her when she's already emotionally vulnerable and you just don't know how that's going to go. And as it happens, it wasn't too bad. It was, it was more or less fine. But he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that at all. And it's just so reckless of him and it's so inconsiderate and so self interested and I think it's just obnoxious. And that's what I wanted her to be upset about. Was that like, wow, you didn't, you didn't think about how this, how something like this could affect me coming back. When I come back to the boat in my most vulnerable state I've ever been in, in my Life. And that's.

B (27:49)

Yeah, I think it's just tricky with people. It's like, you. You've barely been dating, and you know this guy's a piece of shit. And Asia told you multiple times, this guy's a piece of shit, and you still went ahead and did it. So it's like she knew and she'd been warned. So I think she's in a tricky position because if she. If she does get upset and starts crying, it's like, how could you? She looks like a fucking crazy person. Because why would you be that into. I mean, even though he just totally did you wrong, it's weird to have to be feeling that deep about someone that you know from everybody else on board is a fuckboy and did exactly what everybody just told you he was gonna do. So I feel like it would be weird of her to freak out. You know what I mean? Like, it borders on weird later to me. Borders. I think she handles this whole thing really well, actually. But I think. I think it would have been too much for her to freak out. I just wish she would have dumped him right here and there, because the rest of this is just embarrassing. Like, easily forgiving him. And I get why she's doing it, too, because it's like, forgive, forget, you know, I'm not thinking about him anymore. I'm thinking about Bond, whatever. And they go out. But, oh, my God, these two. I mean, they just. They show you exactly who they are again. They go out, and they're immediately all over each other. So Kizzy tells her in the van. Oh, no, no. She's. She's talking to Kathy and her. And she's like, listen, you know, I didn't know Joe spoke to you, and I wanted to speak to you earlier, but, you know, I feel like a shit friend. You are a shit friend. What do you want her to say?

A (29:21)

Friend?

B (29:22)

Yeah. So then they go to. And this was the other van.

A (29:24)

This is not the only shit friend thing you did to any of these people on this boat, by the way.

B (29:29)

Yeah. I mean, yeah, to be fair, at least you're a shit friend to, like, literally everybody, including yourself. You treat yourself like shit, too. And then they go to the van where Joe is, and, you know, he's like, I don't know if I can sleep tonight. Oh, you'll sleep just fucking fine, I'm sure. So then we go back to Kizzy and V, and she's like, well, I feel like a bit of a. I feel like a bit of a sea. A C word. And she's like, well, it's too late now. She goes, well, I'm sorry, though. I feel like an. And she's like, well, I don't know if he's taking the blame for you, but he said, I don't remember because everyone had to tell me about it.

A (30:05)

Yeah. And Kathy. Kathy is sitting there next to them, and she's like. She has her hands up on the glass on the window. She's like, get me out of this van. I can't. I don't want to do. I don't want to be here anymore. And so kiss. He's like, yeah, me kissing Joe. And then the guilt that came from it. Joe kissing me. It was just a lot. And V is just like, huh? Yeah. Joe kissing me. So Kathy's just, like, in total hell with these two. And because he's now doing this whole thing of like, I just wish I had to speak to you. I wish I could have spoken to you. I wish I could have told you and be like, well, why don't we talk about it? Like, that was the one thing I was like, hey, could we, like, not do that? Like, that was the one thing we talked about. She's like, I know. I'm really sorry about that. I'm just really, really sorry. But, you know, we were both really drunk, and, you know, again, we saw a clip in here somewhere where there really was a scene where. Where Victoria was like, please don't go after my guy, Jolene. But Kizzy's afterwards. You know, Kizzy. They get to the bar and everything, and Kizzy and Joe talk to compare notes, and she's like, v took it like a champ. She played the whole story.

B (31:12)

He's like, oh, well, we're gonna still be friends regardless of what happens, because. Yeah, I hope so. Also, I think the way that Kizzy's thinking of it is like, I had my claws in this guy's. For this guy first, and then you came along, and then you went for this guy. So I had him first. So he was.

A (31:31)

That's also because she calls dibs on.

B (31:32)

Everyone, but she calls dibs on everybody.

A (31:34)

Yeah, exactly. It's like, she didn't have him first because he got on the boat at the same time.

B (31:37)

Like, they both.

A (31:38)

They both met him at the same time.

B (31:40)

Right. But she was hitting on him first. Well, maybe she was mine, but in her mind, I'm saying I feel like she probably feels like that.

A (31:48)

She feels that way 100. She feels like. Or she feels like she's entitled to have a Shot as well. Like, she didn't get her date. She didn't get her one on one date with the Bachelor. So she feels like she's entitled to have that moment.

B (31:59)

Yeah. Because she did it with Max, too. Remember when Kathy's like, oh, I like Max, I like Max. And then Kizzy jumps on Max in the hot tub and makes out with him and it's like, I just told you I liked Max. You know? She's like, but I had an energy with Max. You know, she jumps on. She jumps on him first. So she's like, well, I already had dibs on Max.

A (32:18)

Yeah. Yeah. She's pretty obnoxious, I have to say.

B (32:21)

Yeah.

A (32:21)

So everyone's dancing, everyone's having fun, and Nathan is just like love bombing Gail, you know, he's like, I love you. I love you so much. I can't imagine life without you. It's almost like, you know, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever met, and I just can't, like, you're the most. The thing that I love the most in this world. And she's like, okay, okay. So, you know, he's basically, she's like, are you for real? Are you feel sky for the arm? He's like, well, how long is the question. How long before you. You bail on me? He's like, forever. I swear to God, I love you forever, girl.

B (32:54)

Yeah. And she's crying, you know, and he's Monk Herring all over her. And then we go to Max and Kathy kissing, and Joe and Victoria are flirting kind of. He's like, victoria, I've got a hat on. Your hat. Look at that. Why do I want the hat? And she kisses him and she's like, I'm the full package baby. And they start kissing and I start booing. And down. I know. I'm posting babies on Instagram, putting my shirt shirtless selfies on Instagram. I'm just breaking all my own rules.

A (33:25)

So Gail and Nathan go outside, and Nathan's like, you have no idea how seeing you has made me feel. She's like, 100% believe you. That's how you feel. But the thing is, you felt that way before. It's like. But I generally cannot connect emotionally to anyone like I have with you. Like, honestly, I don't know. Like, when we met, I had my mind made up. You know, Honestly, I love you to bits. I'm in love with you again. I love your girl.

B (33:50)

She's like, oh, if you met. If you met and you had your mind made up, then why did you ghost her? That doesn't make any sense.

A (33:56)

Exactly.

B (33:58)

So she's like, oh, but I've hated you. And the second I broke down my walls, you hurt me so much. And not only did you hurt me the first time, you hurt me again and again. And he will do it again. What are you doing? What are you doing? Why do I have to drive my anti van to a fucking yacht to save all of you people? You should know better than this. This is 2026. Have you read no books? Have you watched no TV shows? These are Fuck Boys Below Deck has been on for 19 years. Like, yes, 37 years. Okay. This show predates all of you. You should know better.

A (34:30)

It's a show about men who cannot deal with permanence, which is why they go onto a boat and sail around the world and do not have to deal with the everyday rigors of being in the same place called a house or an apartment. So, yeah, so he's.

B (34:47)

He's now a girl and the girl is the sea.

A (34:52)

So I'm doing my. I'm doing my Nathan thing, which is that when he tells a story, he leans forward onto his knees and he bobs his head left and right. He's like, yeah. A year ago and I self sabotaged myself and Gail's relationship because everyone I've ever loved was pulled away. My parents relationship ended, so my dad pulled away. My older sister and her fiance's relationship ended, so they pulled away. Also, I used to love getting Mr. Mrs. Butterworth's but now haven't been able to find it in stores. She pulled away from me too. Molly McButter. Great, great seasoning. Gone. Where's love?

B (35:29)

Yeah. So she wants to believe him, but it's only been three days and she doesn't want to be naive. And he's like, well, we were made for each other. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this girl, but it's not up to me. So he's just like whining and moping and she's crying. And then inside, V and Joe are kissing while everybody's dancing. And Kathy is telling V, oh God, you guys have never looked closer. And she's like, yeah, he was like really straight up and like honest about it. But for like Kizzy, I feel like she specifically talked about this situation with me and she still did it. And so we see a flashback of that. And then, by the way, I just.

A (36:08)

Want to say, as a student of Love island and various other TV shows, if you're. If you're the second one in. It's not even a Love island thing. This is actually something we've observed many times in Real Housewives. If two people have done something shitty together that affects a third person, the second person to have the conversation about it is the villain. Because you're just. It's. You're. You're. You're too late. So even if they're both equally complicit and equally contrite, if you're conversation number two, you're gonna get hit with the shit stick. Think about Real Housewives of Orange county when what was it that. It was that Heather and Emily had both said that they don't trust Tamra. So Emily tells Tamara this first. Like, I just want you to know I'm just being honest with you. I said, I don't trust you. And then Heather's like, I don't trust you. But Heather was the one who Tamara got mad at the most because Heather told Tamara second. So in this case, you have Joe. If Kizzy had gone to be first, I guarantee. I don't guarantee, but I think that Joe would be in a lot more than Kizzy is. And the lesson is, don't let someone go on the apology tour before you.

B (37:23)

Yeah. Always, always be the first to apologize. And anyone with the siblings. Anyone with a sibling knows that you know, anyone you know who's ever fucked up and, like, tried to. That's how you blame your sister for shit. You have to go first. Otherwise you're always the villain. That's why my sister is always in parental jail, prison, because I always beat her, even though I was always the one doing shit wrong.

A (37:45)

You have to be first, because the first one gets, like, the. Gets the badge of being honest and forthright. Like, they came forward first, and the other one doesn't get that credit. If anything, it's like, oh, well, you only said something because the first person said something, Even if it was rearrange, as it actually was. They told. I think Asia told Kizzy or someone told Kizzy, listen, let Joe do have the conversation first. Then you have the conversation. But then. And I'm not standing up for Kizzy, but I'm just saying it's sort of funny. Like, Kizzy gets burned by this because, you know, because here Via is like, okay, I'll let Joe off the hook, but Kizzy, she's the real problem. They both should be in the problem zone. I'm just saying.

B (38:21)

Yeah, but, you know, and I've thought that when I was watching this too, like, okay, so now, of course it's the girl's fault, right? Because that's. It's like you're. It's the fuck boy, but you're going to go after the girl, you know, even though they're equally culpable. But I think it's fair to go after the girl because, yeah, they were friends and that's their friends, and that's different than a boy. Like, girls know that boys suck, right? So they should always be able to bond together. And, like, the guys are the ones that suck, but we should be there for each other. I think it hurts more when it's, like, a friend who does that to you than a boy because you expect it from someone. Like, yeah, but, yeah, the kissy conversation.

A (39:00)

Yeah, yeah, kissy for sure. I'm just saying, it's so funny how, like, you know, the apology tour. You might as well just not even bother apologizing. Yeah, you're right, because there's not. It's never going to be accepted.

B (39:11)

It's a life lesson.

A (39:13)

Commercials. Here comes one right now.

B (39:20)

So now she goes outside and Kizzy and Joe are, like, dancing. They're, like, doing ballroom dancing practice, and he's lifting her up and shit, and they're flirting and giggling. And V is like, yeah, if I were Joe, I'd be walking on eggshells. Like, what the. No, you just showed. You just lied down and wrote welcome all over your chest. They're not going to treat you with respect now. Like, that's just not how. Being cool and forgiving is not how to earn respect. Like, you need to watch more prison movies. You need to shank a. Because you need to shank two bitches, because you do. Yeah, you just showed them that you're. You can be walked over, and now they're going to literally do this in front of your face. The nerve of people. The fucking nerve.

A (40:02)

Like, Joe's priority tonight is you are by V's side. You are puppy dog. Whatever she needs, that's it. You. You're like. You are with her. You are holding whatever bag she needs you to hold. You are getting her all the drinks. You are treating her like a princess. But what happens is, not only are they dancing, whatever, after they're done dancing, Joe and Kizzy have this conversation where they're very close to each other. And he keeps on saying this. This kind of like, regardless of what happened, your friendship is very, very important. And she's like, I love having in my life, and I want to keep you in my life as a mate. And I think that we've got a great friendship, and there's no point in ruining that. He's like, yeah, Victoria, she's cool. You know. You're too cool. You know?

B (40:43)

Wait, wait. Because while they're doing this, V literally comes up behind him and grabs his butt and passes, like, really close to them. And they're doing this right in front of her. And he's like, victoria, oh, yeah, she's cool, but you're. You're. You're too cool. You're too cool. Oh, yeah, yeah.

A (40:59)

He says, she's cool, but you're too cool. You are more interested in reiterating, like, that you want to keep this friendship going, you know? Well, obviously we know. What it really is is, like, I'm keeping an option in my back pocket. But, like, he would defend it as saying, like, no, I really like her. She's like a mate. She's like a friend. But it's what it reads to me, like, is that he is putting more energy into making sure his friendship with Kizzy is still okay than he is with making sure his situation with Victoria is honest.

B (41:29)

He doesn't care about his friendship with Kizzy. He's still gonna Kizzy later.

A (41:33)

I know, but, like, like, but you should talk about this conversation with her right now. I know. Like, why are you sitting here talking here like, like, and analyzing the status and prognosis of your friendship?

B (41:44)

Yeah. So he's like, well, I think you're mean girl form. And she says, oh, people say you get sent the girl a boy version of you to bring you karma. I'm your karma. You're each other's karma. You're both disgusting. Good luck with the rest of your lives. So now it's time to go back to the boat, and Kathy and Max are making out in the van, which I can't even. I can't even spare the time for right now.

A (42:06)

Max drives me nuts. I'm sorry. Max annoyed me the first time he was on the show. He annoys me the second time. Like, he is just. I like Kathy so much, and I can't stand that she's into this guy. He is the biggest twerp. He's so annoying. Oh, my God. I don't like watching the makeup.

B (42:25)

So. So Kathy, Max, Joe, and V are in a van, and Max is like, oh, I was really scared for you to leave the boat, Cassie and I want to spend emotion to all you because I was petrified. Joe, do you remember how mad I was? Yeah, you were mad because you had to Work. I remember.

A (42:43)

That's what it was. You weren't mad that you. You weren't mad that you. That you couldn't be there to console Kathy. You were mad that you had to move chairs around at a lighthouse. He's. Yeah, he's like, I was deeply frustrated with Nathan before, but they. That really put, like, the. On the cake, you know, for the rest of the season, I'm going to prioritize the happiness of Kathy. Happiness? Yeah. I prefer her as a person. Can we not talk about shit on the cake after we just dealt with a whole cake.

B (43:08)

Too soon.

A (43:09)

Thank you very much.

B (43:09)

Too soon, babe. So bedtime, and Kathy makes a little fort for her and Max, and she goes, you know this doesn't mean we're shagging, right? And he's like, yeah, we are more intelligent than this. And then they go. And you just see the. The sheet blowing back and forth. And here, like, pound a pound a pound a pound. Sheet on cake. Sheet on cake.

A (43:31)

So they're having sex, and then Nathan and Gail go into, like. He convinces her to go into a guest cabin. And then via. At this point, we see V and Joe go into their cabin. But now the ick is starting to settle in for her at long last. And she's like, I'm really hot. Can you sleep on the upper bunk? So she doesn't let him sleep in the same bed, which is, I think, more awkward than the show gave credit for. Like, that's kind of. That was kind of a. That's significant, I think.

B (44:01)

Yeah. And then Nathan and Gail go to the guest cabin and they're talking and more the same shit. He's like, don't leave, please. I can't do it. We'll just stay in Europe. Barcelona, please. As they make up. And now the next morning, everyone listen. Can I just say, I have no respect for literally anybody on this boat right now. Kathy's better than Max, although Kathy deserves it. She just had a huge loss in her family. I don't blame her for letting off a little steam, but still, gross. Nathan and Gail. Gail, it's really tough to root for you. Nathan's a piece of shit. And then Kizzy and Joe and Vy. Like, all of it. The season needs to end. It's episode 15 and is showing no signs. End it. End it.

A (44:46)

I love this season.

B (44:47)

I think this season, I think it's been good. But I'm at the point where I want everybody to be drowned over. What? Everybody. I want every part. That's a bad choice of words. Because of what actually happened on the show. But. Sorry, I didn't mean it, like. But I want everybody kicked off the boat at this point. Yes.

A (45:03)

Yeah. Into a. I am into it. I have no. I have no respect for a majority of these people, but I'm really, really into it. I think I'm just in such a place of, like. I know. I know how dark things can get on this show. AKA I remember last season of Below Deck. That was so wretched. Like, the.

B (45:22)

Probably the.

A (45:23)

I think it was the very worst season of Blow Deck I've ever seen of any franchise. And so, for me, I'm just so happy to have, like, a really good, solid season of Below Deck Med. That's just. It's just, like, hitting me just right. Like, I love it. Like, I'm so into this season. I'm into, like. As we sit here, like. Like, being like, Kizzy Joe, like, I'm just, like, smiling on the inside, like, oh, it feels so good to say these things. I feel these things about a Below Deck episode. So, yeah, for me, it's crash.

B (45:51)

Just crash it. So they all start waking up in the morning, and Kathy's like, what are you laughing at? He's like, oh, because I'm happy. I really like you. So now we go to Asian Kizzies, and Asia's asking, what happened? And Kiss is like, well, I spoke to V, and she was actually, like, so fine about it. I mean, I'm sure it still wasn't nice, but now that.

A (46:15)

Really. Well, good on you for telling her then. And now we go to V and Joe in the cabin, and Joe's like, can I come down? Can I have sex yet? She's like, okay. He's like, what's up? She goes, well, I've decided I'm gonna talk to Kizzy again because I forgave her last night, but I think forgiveness was granted too easily. So V is basically saying that she didn't last night. She didn't want to feel hurt about it. She thought, like, you know, maybe it was an ego thing or whatever. I think, you know, she's basically like, I just. She clearly just wanted to have a fun time. She did not want to have drama. But then she started to think about it, and she realized there's, like, a lot of underlying layers, and she's like. You know, people say, like, you're not your words. You're your actions. And that clearly speaks volumes to me, which is funny, because I said, speaking is really not as important as actions. But, you know, you get what I'm trying to say here.

B (47:09)

So Joe's. She's like, what are you afraid to say? Was it an accident? And he's like, yeah, yeah, it was an accident. It was an accident. So Asia is talking to Sandy and she drops something. And Sandy's like, oh, God. She goes, I'm gonna do the floors. Don't worry. She's like, do I seem worried? Do I seem worried? Can I sneak Captain Sandy here? Yeah. Dream team. So Vy leaves Joe's cabin and Nathan and Gail come out, and Gail's packing up her stuff. And Asia sees Nathan and he's like, I'm not okay. She's just so amazing. Oh, God. Oh, God. So now Gail is time to say goodbye. So she's saying goodbye to everybody, and everybody's crying and everybody's so sad she's leaving, which, by the way, she might be brought right back on this boat because Max continues to fuck up. So I wouldn't be surprised if they just. You turned her right around and brought her back.

A (48:06)

They actually should have just. They actually really should have just done that because Asia. Asia's like gold. I wish Gail would stay longer. Everyone wishes Gail was staying longer. And Sandy's like, oh, God. Thank God Gail was available. She could just pop right in. Okay. She just did us a solid, and I'm just so grateful. I wish I had another cabin to keep her. Well, I wish I had two cabins. One for Gail and one for Little Bear. Oh, God, I love that dog. I gotta see him on my phone.

B (48:39)

And Gail's telling us, oh, in such a short amount of time, Nathan's definitely broken down my walls. Which is kind of funny terminology because, you know, he's like a big proponent of the wall. And Nathan's like, oh, see us soon.

A (48:52)

Ah.

B (48:53)

And I think we're supposed to be feeling things, but all I feel is like, oh, God, she's pregnant with this man is coming.

A (49:00)

Baby on board. Baby Bon. You step on these boats and you never know when the next time you're going to see each other. Could be in a year, could be in a month, could be in two weeks, could be in three days. Could be in, I don't know, two weeks and ten days. Okay, Gail, we get it. You just don't know when you're going to see him again.

B (49:18)

Just go. Just go. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

A (49:32)

Watch what crap INS would Like to thank its premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King it's always a party on Allison Block Our way is the Amber way. It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly.

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Clap. Get on the right foot with Carly. Chrissy Offutt. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

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It's Jennifer Messer Sipped some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

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This is Living with Michelle Vivian.

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Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

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Lopez.

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She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

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Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

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Let's get real with Caitlin o'.

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Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

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Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

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Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master. The master of the cork. Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.

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She's a total knockout.

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B (51:50)

The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

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We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

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Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop at Solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

B (52:17)

She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys.