#3146 Below Deck Med S10E15 Part 2: F Boy Cryland

Summary

Watch What Crappens: Below Deck Med S10E15 Part 2: F Boy Cryland

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode: #3146
Date: January 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively recap, Ben and Ronnie continue their trenchant, hilarious breakdown of "Below Deck Mediterranean" Season 10, Episode 15. The duo gleefully dig into the fallout from last episode’s F-boy drama triangle, dissecting the contentious relationships aboard, mocking questionable management decisions, and lampooning the charter guests’ requests. They champion self-respect, scrutinize cast misconduct, and drop signature, meme-able wisecracks along the way, all while capturing the chaos that makes both "Below Deck Med" and "Watch What Crappens" cult favorites.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. V, Kizzy, and Joe: Aftermath of the Love Triangle

• V confronts Kizzy about the kiss with Joe. V feels Kizzy’s apology is half-hearted and remains upset.
  • Kizzy stands by her actions: “I don’t feel guilty about it because we had the connection. Like, it was fun, so what do you want?” (01:39)
  • Honesty prevails: Kizzy admits, “No, I don’t regret the kiss.” (02:05)
• Ronnie’s Take: Both V and Kizzy “fell for the tricks of a fuckboy, but Kizzy doesn’t care that he’s a fuckboy because she’s a fuckgirl.”
• Ben (Michelle) counters: V still has a right to confront Kizzy about violating their friendship, regardless of Joe's predictability as a heartbreaker.
• Hosts agree on self-worth: Ronnie urges, “You both are terrible human beings... I don’t want to get mad, but I don’t want to be with him, and you’re gross, I don’t want to be your friend.” (06:54)
• Resolution: V, empowered, tells both Joe and Kizzy to “fuck off,” finally putting herself first, which the hosts celebrate: “I’ve been waiting 10 years on this show for someone to have that reaction.” (07:28)

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2. New Charter Guests: “Spanish Night” and Yacht Demands

• Introducing the new charter: Michael and Valerie Lopez, their friends, and two guests from Alaska – “just normies, not Ryan Seacrest and Kelly.” (08:54)
• Expectations: They ask for a traditional “ubidico jamon” carver for Spanish night. The hosts lampoon production for forcing the chef, Josh, to fill this unfamiliar, specialist role: “They want to humiliate the chef. Poor guy.” (09:31, 09:20)
• Josh’s anxiety: He’s not trained for this, and the hosts wonder why production doesn’t just hire a pro.

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3. Empowerment & V’s Growth

• V seeks advice from Aisha: Finds out the kiss story doesn’t add up, and Aisha had bluntly told everyone involved that the behavior sucked. (10:11)
• V’s self-respect arc: She references a bond with a late boyfriend who set her standards high. Her line: “If you’re not bond quality, what am I even here for?” becomes a favorite for the hosts. (14:00)
  • Ronnie: “I’m gonna start dating people and just being like, I’m sorry, but you’re not bond quality. No go.” (14:00)
  • Michelle: “You just have to keep your standards high… because if you lower your standards, you wind up with people like Joe.” (15:28)

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4. Max’s Ongoing Incompetence

• Max frustrates the crew with his refusal to enforce safety (letting intoxicated guests on jet skis), and his general mopey, scattered attitude. (25:42, 26:21)
  • Ronnie: “He should have been fired right then and there.” (25:42)
  • Ben: “If I’m a charter guest, I don’t want this person in charge of my safety. Get Gail. Let her drop an anvil on her foot again or whatever it was last season, but I still trust her.” (26:21)
• Recurring theme: Crew and hosts express desire for Max to be fired and replaced by trusted previous cast member Gail. (27:16, 36:31)

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5. Demands for Professionalism & Emotional Tiring

• Overdone “walls down” narrative: Ben and Ronnie mock the “breaking down walls” trope among the cast: “Can we retire on this season the discussion of breaking walls down?” (15:59)
• V and Max's workplace drama: V vents about Max’s “period more than I’ve ever been” — even the other crew gets tired of the drama. (30:49)

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6. Chef Josh’s Ham Disaster

• Ham carving debacle: Chef Josh, untrained, butchers the Iberico ham for guests, who are unimpressed.
  • Guest: “Wow, you really don’t know how to do this, huh?” (35:10)
  • Hosts: “That was some thick ham.” (34:18)
  • Ben: “It’s so embarrassing because the guest is standing right there, like, wow, you really don’t know how to do this, huh? And he’s like, I watched a YouTube [video].” (35:10)
  • Guests awkwardly reassure: “Well, you have to start somewhere.” (35:42)

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7. Miscellaneous Moments & Humor

• Crew mishaps: Nathan gets bonked by the yacht crane, to the hosts’ glee: “I love that that crane is like the audience.” (32:25)
• Kizzy’s “titty milk” comment: Ronnie: “Just don’t fuck that lady’s husband, please.” (21:26)
• Joe’s emotional whiplash: After sobbing for V earlier, Joe is soon joking and bullfighting with Kizzy: “Clearly all that, all that’s bullshit.” (23:32)
• Card game analogy: Ronnie: “It seems like a card game where it’s like, okay, I have played the walls are down card, the vulnerable card, and the triggered card. Are we getting married yet?” (16:15)
• Hosts’ mutual exasperation: Ronnie (on Max): “I can’t believe on a show all about working, they’ve kept Max for this long. This is crazy.” (36:43)

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• On the F-boy love triangle:

  • Ronnie: “You both fell for the tricks of a fuckboy, but Kizzy doesn’t care that he’s a fuckboy because she’s a fuckgirl.” (02:37)
  • Ben: “Her relationship with Kizzy has nothing to do with Joe’s behavior… Kizzy was a friend, and V has the right to be like, yeah, what’s wrong with you?” (04:49)
  • Ronnie: “You saw a choke warning and you ate the chicken bone.” (05:34)

• On standards in love:

  • V (quoted by hosts): “If you’re not bond quality, what am I even here for?” (14:00)
  • Ronnie: “I’m gonna start dating people and just being like, I’m sorry, but you’re not bond quality. No go.” (14:00)

• On Max:

  • Ronnie: “He should have been fired right then and there.” (25:42)
  • Ben: “Every time Max is on screen, I get annoyed and I’m repulsed and I’m just like, please leave. Go back to your ayahuasca retreat. Go back to your hypnosis. I cannot have you on my television any longer.” (27:37)

• On ham carving disaster:

  • Chef Josh: “I watched a YouTube [video].” (35:10)
  • Guest: “Well, you have to start somewhere.” (35:42)

• On recurring emotional tropes:

  • Ronnie: “Can we also, just, like, retire on this season, the discussion of breaking walls down?” (15:59)
  • “It seems like a card game… I have played the walls are down card, the vulnerable card, and the triggered card. Are we getting married yet?” (16:15)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:39–07:28: V/Kizzy/Joe drama confrontation and analysis
• 08:03–11:03: New guests introduced; ham carver discussion
• 11:47–14:39: V seeks empowerment; hosts celebrate standards
• 15:28–17:34: Charter prep; chef’s dinner planning
• 25:42–27:37: Max’s safety breaches and general exasperation
• 30:49–31:38: V vents about Max; Kathy and Kizzy react
• 34:08–35:42: Chef Josh’s ham carving humiliation
• 36:31–37:02: Hosts discuss wanting Max fired, Gail’s potential return

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Memorable Moments

• “You saw a choke warning and you ate the chicken bone.” (05:34)
• On breast milk: “I’ve sucked mine out of my friend’s tits before. Very sweet. Did you know milk comes from everywhere?” (21:26)
• “I love that that crane is like the audience.” (32:25)
• “That was some thick ham.” (34:18)

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Episode Tone

True to form, Ben and Ronnie maintain their irreverent, affectionate, rapid-fire style. They mix detailed episode recaps with quick-witted pop culture commentary, theatrical voices, and signature running jokes. Their tone is equal parts mocking and loving, especially when rooting for cast members’ self-respect or gleefully skewering incompetence and emotional melodrama.

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For listeners who missed the show, this summary delivers the full spectrum of “Below Deck Med” chaos—and all the Crappens-hosted hilarity that goes with it!

Transcript

[Michelle]

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[Ronnie]

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[Michelle]

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[Ronnie]

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[Michelle]

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[Ronnie]

There's no limit on what might happen.

[Michelle]

So just be prepared.

[Ronnie]

Top tier collie right here.

[Michelle]

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[Ronnie]

So now V goes to speak with Kissy and she's like, yeah, I'm gonna have like a chat. Because yesterday I was hearing both sides of the story and the more I thought about it, the more I was like, I'm not fine with it because, you know, like your apology, it was just like oopsies. And then like, we just go on as if nothing happened. And Kizzy's like, well, I don't feel guilty about it because we had the connection. Like, it was fun, so what do you want?

[Michelle]

He's basically like, wait, you said I was off the hook and now I'm not off the hook. Now I'm mad and I'm just going to give you bluntness. So Via's like, so you're. You regret nothing. She says, well, I regret upsetting you. So you don't regress the regret the kiss? No, I'm going to be real honest. No, I don't regret the kiss. Okay, well, that's like the one part that I don't think I can get past. Well, you know, because obviously we did. We have a connection. I Did call dibs on him. I did see him, and I was like, he's mine with boyfriend girlfriend now. And you kind of. You're basically the cheater first, if you think about it.

[Ronnie]

And V's like. But they're definitely, like, different kinds of connections. No, they're not. Why are they. I mean, that's my thing with V. Like, why. Why are they so different? I don't really think they're different. You both fell for the tricks of a fuckboy, but Kizzy doesn't care that he's a fuckboy because she's a fuck girl. So I don't. I don't know that the connections were that different. And V is like. Well, like. I mean, the way I understood it from him, like, one's more temporary and flirtatious and. Because he goes, yeah. But he also said that yours is seasonal, which was an extremely good point. I mean, listen, I want to be like, totally team V here. But V, listen, you were warned, and you got with this guy, and you were warned about this guy, and this guy turned exactly. He turned into exactly who everybody told you. And now you're acting, like, shocked. He even told you it was seasonal, and this didn't have anywhere to go. So this is where I'm like, come on.

[Michelle]

I'm. I'm just. Walk away beyond this one right here. Because, like, what his. Like, what she was warned about? Whatever. Like, I think she still has a right to be mad at her alleged friend who said she wasn't gonna do this and did it anyway. And Casey's gonna be like, oh. And then he. You know, he also said, yours is seasonal, when actually what Joe said was. Originally, he said it was seasonal, but then he said, I want to see you after this. He actually revoked the seasonal quality of it, so it's no longer. No longer seasonal. It's been true.

[Ronnie]

But he went back and forth so many times. I. I guess I'm just like.

[Michelle]

I do agree people need to have.

[Ronnie]

I think that they need. Didn't do anything wrong. Okay? I'm not saying that V did anything wrong. I'm just saying, cut your losses and back away. You know what I mean?

[Michelle]

You.

[Ronnie]

You've seen him flirting with Kizzy the whole season. This is nothing new. You knew that he had an energy with Kizzy, too, and you knew that they were both pieces of shit. So I don't know. I think.

[Michelle]

I think you know, yes, it's important to look at signs, etc. Etc. I think also, though, that it's important to hold you know, I think she has a right to sit down with Kizzy and be like, what the.

[Ronnie]

Because, Yeah, I think so. I'm not saying she. Yeah, I'm not saying.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Her relationship with Kizzy has nothing to do with Joe's behavior. In a sense, like, it has to do with Kizzy's behavior. And. And I think that, like, yeah, I would have liked. I would have liked V to have seen the signs with Joe. I would have liked V not to have even gotten entangled with Joe. But that has nothing to do with Kizzy because he. Kizzy was a friend, and V has a right to be like, yeah, what's wrong with. Like, what's wrong with you? You. You up, Joe, you up.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, but, I mean, I think Kizzy also has a right to be like, well, I was flirting with this guy, too, and he's obviously into me. If we ended up making out, let's. Like, I'm into him, too. So, like, are you going to marry the guy? Like, you know, I don't blame her for being.

[Michelle]

She had a conversation where she said she would.

[Ronnie]

That's true. I don't know. I guess I just can't feel too much for V when it's Joe. It's like. I don't know. It's like you saw a choke warning and you ate the chicken bone. Like, I don't know how much more clear this guy needs to make it to you. Yeah. So V is like, oh, I'm done with this conversation. And V is like, well, I mean, it's not like we just tripped and fell into each other's mouths, you know, like, whatever. Well, so.

[Michelle]

Well, that's what's. What's funny is that, like, that's not as if we just tripped and fell into each other's mouths. Well, then. But earlier, she was, like, saying it was a drunken. So she's like, she's not truthful. And we see nuts about.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they're both lying and saying, oh, we were drunk. We. Joe doesn't even remember it.

[Michelle]

But that being said, I did actually appreciate that Kizzy was in this moment. Kizzy was actually brutally honest. And I actually appreciated that because I think that V deserved to have honesty, her being like, I like him, too. And that's that. I think that Kizzy's a friend. I think she is.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Michelle]

But I did appreciate that she at least was like, yeah, you know what? I like him, too.

[Ronnie]

And I think the only reason I care, like, I'm trying to, like, say anything to V is Because I. V is. V has hope in this world. You know what I mean?

[Michelle]

It's like just potential, right?

[Ronnie]

She. She has. She has hope. It's like, just avoid situations like this. I'm just saying. I would rather V just said, you both are terrible human beings. I'm not gonna hate you. I'm not gonna get mad, but I don't wanna be with him. And you're gross. I don't wanna be your friend and just walk away from it instead of getting involved in the emotion of, like, who fucked me over and who was right and who was wrong. They were both disgusting people. And just dump them and leave them in the trash bin where they belong. Cause people like that are always gonna be trash, and they are gonna find other trash to be with. And so when I see people that aren, I'm like, protect yourself from the trash. You know?

[Michelle]

But you know what's great, you know, Ronnie, is that, like, we're. We're having this whole conversation. But the truth is that, like, by the end of the episode, this all is exactly what happens. And that's what's, like, really wonderful. And I'm really hoping that V does not get, like, drawn back in, but she basically is like, yeah, I don't. This isn't that deep for me, but I also deserve to be treated better, so fuck off, both of you. And I'm like, that was. I've been waiting, like, 10 years on this show for someone to have that reaction. Thank you.

[Ronnie]

I know, right? Okay, so, guys, come. Let's talk about the new trip. This is a parents getaway trip.

[Michelle]

Oh, geez.

[Ronnie]

So Michael Lopez is an entrepreneur from Maryland, and he works in real estate with his wife Valerie, who's a radiation therapist. Radiation.

[Michelle]

Because you know what? Radiation has problems, too, and they need to talk to someone. Okay? Everyone's. Everyone doesn't like radiation. But you know what? Maybe radiation feels lonely in this world. I'm glad they finally have a therapist.

[Ronnie]

Guys, radiation is tired of being villainized. So if we've got any hugs for radiation, let's send them out there. Okay? Now, they're friends with Sean and Christine, who are recently engaged, and Robert and Isabella. And they've got two more coming in from Tinder from Alaska, Ryan and his wife, Dr. Kelly, who's going to talk about how. How all he's been eating is loose meat.

[Michelle]

Okay?

[Ronnie]

Now, until that scene comes, everybody talk amongst themselves about what loose meat means, okay?

[Michelle]

That's right. Ryan and Kelly are coming to the boat, which got me really excited that I thought it was Ryan Seacrest and the other one. But no, it just turns like they're just two normies named Ryan and Kelly. So that's too bad, you know?

[Ronnie]

So they want a Spanish night with entertainment. And to kick off, they want a traditional ubidico jamon carver. Now, that is something that you would hire.

[Michelle]

Yeah, right.

[Ronnie]

That's a position that you hire. They want a traditional carver. That is a position. That is a person. You can hire a flamenco dancer. You can hire a carver.

[Michelle]

This is. This is production just with the chef. They know they can hire someone to come on board to do this. Like, no, we want to humiliate the chef. Poor guy. No one seems to even know that he exists on this boat. They don't even consider him as a romantic prospect. Let's. Let's just make his life hell. So, yeah, they're gonna force him to slice chunky pieces off of this lovely, you know, piece of meat. Like, it's not, like, if the pig's gonna die. If the pig's gonna die, at least, like, let it, like, get someone who can, like, you know, you want to honor it, right. And not have some guy just, like, slice off these chunks of Iberico.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So he's like, wow. You know, the process for this ham is an art in itself, and people have really specially trained for this. And I'm not specially trained for this. Hire somebody. Get Asia to get on the. On the horn with Norma. Get somebody over here. So now V goes to talk to Aisha, and she's like, so I know you're going to be the only one that's, like, honest with me and, like, their kiss story, like, it doesn't add up. And they made a sound like we just bumped into each other in the middle of the night and just had a drunken, quick kiss. And she's like, no, I've actually told them they both suck, and I've said it to their face, and they were flirtatious and all over each other the whole night leading up to it. So I'm sorry I'm being so blunt, and I wish she had reminded her in this moment. And I also told you that this man's a piece of. You should not be shocked that he's acting like this. Cuz Asia did give her that warning, and she's like, I'm just trying to navigate it.

[Michelle]

I just feel like I've been, like, way too tame with everybody, and I've had to, like, to learn to stick up for myself because, like, bonded a lot of that for me, like, you know, when I was like, as a dive master, I skipped a whole semester of college to have the experience. And then my manager wouldn't even put me on the boat. I was like, hello, I could be taking, you know, advanced psychology 103. And I'm here on this boat, and you're still not giving me a good job. And Bomb stood up for me, and this time, I've got to do it for myself. So now she's empowered, and I'm like, yeah, you go get him, V. You go walk out there and you do something about it. Van. So now we see Joe doing some stuff on the deck, and Nathan is. Is bossing him around, and. And then Sandy, she's like, hey.

[Ronnie]

Hey, Leah.

[Michelle]

Just calling to say hi. Hi, Leah. How you doing?

[Ronnie]

Hey.

[Michelle]

Oh, hi. I want you to see you. I want to see you. How are you feeling?

[Ronnie]

Me miss you, baby. Good. I'm doing good. God, that's really all I needed to hear is BB So we see Max gets all bitchy with Nathan for asking him to do windows. He's like, oh, be good. Boss in. Don't lose patience. And now it's time for rest, because charter's in 16 hours, and V is, like, getting ready to talk. And now it's time for a talk with Joe. So they go to the bow, and we see Nathan messaging Gail, and he's like, oh, I love you so much. I can't live without you. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me.

[Michelle]

Don't leave me.

[Ronnie]

Ghost emoji. Ghost emoji. Ghost emoji. Ghost emoji.

[Michelle]

I know, right?

[Ronnie]

So now the conversation with Joe and V. So she's like, so I feel lied to. You told me, like, I don't want to hurt you, but, like, that word was broken.

[Michelle]

Well, it was like a drunken kiss that I can't even remember. But right now, this little thing that we've got going on, it's special, you know, It's a very special. Just save it. Why? Because you're so flirty with Kizzy, and that's why I want someone that, like, sees me being worth holding the standard of their own word to me. Does that make sense? It does make sense. And it's not you.

[Ronnie]

No. She's like, yeah, you just don't deserve someone like me. And he's like, well, I guess he seems relieved. He's like, well, I'm sad with myself because I was testing something out of my comfort zone, but, you know, the military just wasn't for Me, you know, I have to save people the good old fashioned way.

[Michelle]

I know, right? Like, out of your comfort zone. He's like, it just ended in. And he's like, smiling, right? Like, this is not someone who was, like, sad, who was like, oh, my God, no, this. For someone who said how special this was over and over again. This is something special. I've never done this before. I've never done something so special before in my life. And now, like, she's like, yeah, I'm not interested. He's not like, I've got to fight for this guy. This was special. He's like, oh, well. Pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Turns out I don't like coffee yogurt. It's like, what?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he's. He's glad he can go back to just not pretending. He can go back to pretending not to be a piece of or whatever. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin commercial. So she's like, yeah, I have a standard. The bond set. So, like, some man gives me the world and then he dies, and I accept anything less, that would be an insult to him. So if you're like, not bond quality, what am I even here for? Which, perfect. I love it. I'm taking that with me. I'm gonna. I'm gonna start dating people and just being like, I'm sorry, but you're not bomb quality. No go.

[Michelle]

Yeah, Bon bon voyage. I. I think that's actually right, though. She's like, this guy treated me so well. He died for me. Which I don't know if he died for her. Point is that, like. Like, she had. She knows what. She has a standard. And, like, I'm glad that she remembered her standards, because that's what you got to do in life. You got to remember yours. You got to. I. I remember when I was dating, what would always happen to me is every single person I go on a date with, my bar would just drop lower and lower and lower. And eventually you just, like, hit, like, someone who's so low, they're like, what am I doing? And then you reset your bar and you bring it back up again. Drops down, down, down, down, down. You just have to keep your standards high. Like, that's the most important thing is you just have to keep your standards high. Because if you lower your standards, you wind up with people like Joe.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then it's the morning of Charter. Everyone's excited that there's only a couple charters left. No one more than me. And Max is Acting like he's going to propose to Kathy, and she's like, oh, my God. His energy is just infectious. He's broken all my walls down. He wants to make me feel love. So affectionate. That passion, that romance, it just seeps into you. Oh, God.

[Michelle]

No.

[Ronnie]

Stop it.

[Michelle]

Stop.

[Ronnie]

Stop this right now.

[Michelle]

Can we also, just, like, retire on this season, the discussion of breaking walls down? Like, how many people have to have their walls broken? They're all just so happy to have these open concepts in their hearts right now. And it's getting really annoying between Gail, between Kathy. I feel like V probably said it's just some point Love Island.

[Ronnie]

Like, it's just love island language. Does anybody even feel anything? Like, is it just. It seems like a card game where it's like, okay, I have played the walls are down card, the vulnerable card, and the triggered card. Are we getting married yet? Okay. Because I played all of those cards, so.

[Michelle]

So meanwhile, Nathan, Max and Kathy are kissing, and Nathan's like, cut to work. And Max dictates on. Nathan is back on deck. Like, it's literally just your boss, and you're his employee, and you've got to work, and you're not working. Okay, you're literally kissing someone when you should be working, and then you're upset about. Get to work.

[Ronnie]

So another thing that's been happening is that Asia has been giving Josh the chef shit about constantly doing family style because it's not classy enough for a yacht. And finally, Sally, Sandy is on the same page. She's like, oh, geez. Another family style. So they gave him shit, and so now he's going to do a plated dinner, but he's making paella. So I'm confused, because paella is a gigantic pan of food. So, I mean, I don't know, but it just seems like an odd time to bring this out. But, you know, he's going to do some tapas and do some plated stuff with. I was nervous.

[Michelle]

Yeah. I was cracking up last episode when they had their tip meeting. Which, by the way, another thing we didn't mention is that this charter with their shit in the drain, they gave, like, a super low tip. Like the. Like, I probably really low.

[Ronnie]

16 grand.

[Michelle]

Truly pieces of shit. They should. They're the ones who should be sent down the drain. But one thing that cracked me up was Sandy giving a pep talk. And she was like. It was like a passive aggressive pep talk, of course, because she was. She was like, all right, we only got two charters left, and this last one we're going to nail it. We're going to be. We're going to have a great, great charter with plated service. It'll be a great time. Wow. We'll have all the toys out. We're gonna have a. We're gonna have so much fun and plated surface while we're looking at the toys. We're. We're gonna be having fun because we know there's going to be individual plates with synchronized service. Am I right, Josh? No. Family style.

[Ronnie]

Right?

[Michelle]

And he's like, yes.

[Ronnie]

He's like, all you people. So Nathan is telling Max that he's gonna invite her to his sister's wedding, which is a huge, huge deal. Wait a second.

[Michelle]

His sister's getting married after all that.

[Ronnie]

After all that, become friends with a new person. Oh.

[Michelle]

So, yeah, how am I gonna invite Carol to my sister's wedding? To show that commitment can happen after you've been hurt. So that. That's. That's exciting for them. And V is. V is complaining to Max. Is complaining about Max, saying that Max has a bad attitude because I don't know if this is. If it happens later, I guess. But she's just really annoyed with Max because he's. He's being real mopey and annoying. And so she's complaining about his bad attitude to Kathy and.

[Ronnie]

Well, no, right now she's complaining about. Right now she's complaining about Kizzy and Joe. She's like, I mean, he's gonna make me feel all these special things, and, you know. You know, you're thawing my heart. And then he's like, oh, fuck you. I'm gonna kiss Kizzy and forget everything. And meanwhile, Kizzy has her ear up to the door. It's like Downton Abbey. She has, like, her ear right up to the door, and she's like, oh, God, f. She swats. She's like, fucking lame. So then the guests come and they get the tour, and there's, like, a little special spot for the newly engaged couple to have champagne together. And then, you know, it's like the beginning of yacht stuff. And Max is really hyper doing the lines and stuff, and he's working next to Vee, and she's just frustrated, you know, she's in her own head. And then a guy from the dock throws the line over and it hits V, and she thinks it's Max. So she's like, what the. Bro? You just hit me with that. Watch where you're going. Was it me? And so now he's mad at her because she she got mad at him about a line that was thrown on accident.

[Michelle]

So, yeah, and she's like, is it just me or is everyone being an today? And Max, well, she's jumping, she's grumping. I feel like she's discovering about the Kizzy and Joel's kisses. But yeah, here is still like a professional area. So let's get back to real work.

[Ronnie]

So I don't know that you're the one to be pointing out professionalism amongst the staff, sir.

[Michelle]

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, jesus, stop fighting. Why are you arguing about. That's what they're arguing about. Just Christ got us together, guys. So they're being all pissy and everything and then people come on board and Kiss is giving champagne to people and Josh is saying that he's got a family style lunch today. He's like, he's like, I'm hoping it buys me some more time. I have to do a fully plated dinner tonight. He's. I mean, like, you're a chef. Like, I understand, like doing like, like a nine course meal is a lot, but like, you can set out a bunch of, like, you can, you can do a plated dinner. It's like not the end of the world.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So then one of the women is breastfeeding, so she needs the milk stored. She's pumping. And so Kizzy's like, yeah, you know, I've always said I wanted to try titty milk. I might try a bit. Aren't I crazy? And just don't fuck that lady's husband, please. And it's just like, well, I've sucked mine out of my friend's tits before. It was really nice, actually. Very sweet. Did you know the milk comes from everywhere? I thought it came from the little slit in the nipple, but it comes from every hole. I mean, literally at the ears, the nose, the eyes, and milk just comes out.

[Michelle]

It's crazy. Kathy is horrified by this because the Asian kids, you're having this conversation and the camera just pans like, zooms in on Kathy's face. Be like, oh, so now more.

[Ronnie]

I mean, look, I've. I've heard of people trying their friend's breast milk before, but actually going down on the tit. I haven't heard that one.

[Michelle]

That's Asha. I mean, I'm like, not surprised by the way.

[Ronnie]

There was a thing in the last episode when the other guests were leaving and they were all waving by. It was just really short shot of Aisha waving by and it was so funny. She was like, did you happen to catch that? I took a video of it. I'm going to put it up here to show people, but go ahead.

[Michelle]

Yep. So meanwhile, around the boat, Joe has a napkin out, and he's pretending he's like a bullfighter. And because he's pretending she's the bull, just. They're laughing and joking. So this is. This is the. This is the demeanor and. And the joy of someone who was just broken up with by someone who he has claimed was super, super special for weeks now. Someone who he. He sobbed over, you know, earlier in the episode, and now she dumps him, and he's, like, you know, cheery and playing games with the girl who he had. Who he had the oopsie with. So, like, clearly all that. All that's bullshit. Not that you need to be convinced at all, because we all know it, but just, you know, more evidence of how.

[Ronnie]

Watch this.

[Michelle]

Okay, so, Asia, okay, for those of.

[Ronnie]

You on craft, pins on demand, this is just a show waving back and forth. Why does that make me laugh so much? Just watch it again. I watched that, like, 10 times. I don't know why doesn't me. So much joy.

[Michelle]

It's because her head and her hand are moving, like, at the same. Like, you're, like, connected by a string. So ridiculous.

[Ronnie]

So then Nathan rejoins Vee at the table, and we see that the new guests are coming from Alaska. Guys, they're from Alaska. So now it's time to lunch. To lunch. And Captain Sandy compliments Josh, and he's like, tonight's gonna be plated. She's like, oh, my God, you are killing. You are killing it. Oh. And you know who else is killing it? Nathan. Those toys are already in the water. Amazing. I love toys.

[Michelle]

Jesus.

[Ronnie]

Captain Sandy hears a little BB in the morning, and she's off to the races.

[Michelle]

She is. She is happy. Like, I'm surprised that she didn't go find Asia. And say, just want to remind you, still not worried about those floors, right? I'm not worried. Does this. Guess what? Who's a captain with who's not worried and has got two thumbs up. This guy right here. That's me. This guy. Okay, not worried at all.

[Ronnie]

So now for some drama. The guests are on the water toys. One of them wants to go on the jet Ski. And Kathy's like, okay, so just to warn you, Nathan, that dude has had four spicy marks, so be careful with him on the jet Ski. So Nathan radios Max and says, you know, if he wants to go on the Jet Ski, just hop on with him. So then we go down to the swim platform, and Van heard that. So she's like, max, he's been drinking. He can't go alone. And Max is like, you're drinking? And he goes, well, earlier. And Max goes, oh, voila. Have fun. And sends him on his way alone. He's like, dude. And Max is such a. He should have been fired right then and there. They know. They have. I know the hotel. Just get Gail.

[Michelle]

Yeah. I honestly, I can't stand Max. And let's not forget, this season has been a long one, because it feels like it was. It feels like it was millennia ago that Max pet a jellyfish and then touched his eye. I mean, like, let's. This is what we're dealing with here, and we're putting people's lives in his hands. This guy should be 100 fired. He does not listen to orders. He. He. He's. He is very, like, scatterbrained. You know, he can't focus much. Like me trying to finish the sentence. And he is just out of control. I'm sorry. He doesn't listen to or, like, he has very simple instructions that he never follows.

[Ronnie]

He.

[Michelle]

He whips himself into a frenzy. This is not someone I would not want him on. Like, if I'm a charter guest, I don't want this person in charge of my safety. Get. Get Gail. Get Gail. Let. Let her drop an anvil on her foot again or whatever it was last season, but I still trust her.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So he's like, max, can you now go get the guest off the Jet Ski? And he's like, okay, Kobe, is everything under control? Hey, I just wanted everyone to know. Everyone. Everyone. Sandy. Sandy. Someone told me BB today, so. Okay. Hope everyone else is having a good day. So Max goes up to Nathan. He's like, you can't let people go on the Jet Skis who drink. And he's like, oh, he did. V didn't tell me he was drinking. And then we see. Goes 15 seconds ago, V saying, max, he's drinking. He can't go alone. So to me, he's fine. You're speaking clearly. He's like, get yet the guest off the Jet Ski, Max?

[Michelle]

Oh, Max started acting out since he hasn't been named lead Duck hunt. And at this point, that's a safety concern, and I'm not having it. So. God, I didn't even think about the. The idea that maybe Max would get fired and Gail be brought on. Like, that gives me so much hope for the final. Like, three or four.

[Ronnie]

Please, please. Even though it means we have to watch Nathan whine around Gail the whole time. I'll take it. It.

[Michelle]

I will take it. Like, Max. Like, the only reason why I have not lost my mind about Max is that, like, I've been losing my mind about, like, Joe and Kizzy and other ineptitude and people sticking down drains. But the truth is that, like, low key, every time Max is on screen, I get annoyed and I'm repulsed and I'm just like, please leave. Go somewhere else. Go back to your ayahuasca retreat. Go back to your hypnosis. I cannot have you on my television any longer.

[Ronnie]

So now Kizzy and Joe are like, oh, there needs to be entertainment Tonight. Maybe we should do a dance. So they start practicing for, you know, dancing with the Never Gonna Be's. And then Kizzy is like, oh, you know, we see Kathy in the galley where Josh is cooking. And Kizzy's like, wow, it's fucking awkward between them, eh? And Kathy's like, I don't even know. Like, I'm in my. Oh, no. This is the part you were talking about earlier, right? Where V starts bitching. Where V starts bitching about Max. Yep. And because you can see the awkwardness.

[Michelle]

Yeah, yeah. Like, don't. I will say don't. Don't. To Kathy about, you know, it's hard because Kathy does seem like someone that you'd want to go and like, just to be like, ugh, this person's being so awful. And Kathy be like, I know, love. You just have to deal with it. Some people are just stupid. You're like, thank you, Kathy. I needed that. But, like, you can't do that to. To the guy that Kathy's banging, especially when she's like, she's grief banging. So it's just like, Max is more important than usual.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. But I feel like work is separate than banging. And so if you're on deck with somebody, you have a right to. About them.

[Michelle]

Yeah, okay.

[Ronnie]

I feel like, you know, then don't. People at work, if you can't listen to me about them, you know what I mean? Like, they're fair game. We're at work.

[Michelle]

It's also so. So to people like, yeah, you can. You can only to so many, you know.

[Ronnie]

So Max is now on the jet ski, floating around, flying around. And Nathan is pissed. And Joe's like, well, I can handle Max. You know, it'll be more receptive to delicate and light conversation rather than the firm, aggressive Nathan hand. So he's just doing this to Max. He's like, max, tone it down a bit. Which does nothing. Yeah, it does nothing.

[Michelle]

Does nothing. So now they're setting up the ham thing and cat. By the way, this was notable, I thought Kathy goes up to the guests and is like, what time do you want to have dinner? And they say, 8:30. I'm sorry, I did not see the chef yell at Kathy. It was only a few weeks ago that the Kizzy asked the guests when they wanted to have dinner. And then the chef was like, never ask the guests when they want to have dinner. You tell me first. And here's Kathy being like, what time you want to have dinner?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Michelle]

So clearly it was an anti Kizzy moment. And so they're bringing up stuff tender, like all that kind of, you know, just like, deckhand kind of boring stuff. And Max is complaining about, you know, communication. And he's. Well, he was. V was saying. V is sort of being. She's sort of being nice to Max. She's like, well, that launch we did today wasn't so bad. Like, yes, today. But you had to be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, we do it better. Like, why are you so mean to me? It's just going off on me. Just like, whatever, bro. Just walk.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. And then V is talking to Asia in the galley, and Asia's asking her if she's stressed, and she's like, I mean, I just had a rough day with Max. Like, he's on his period more than I've ever been, you know? And, like, I've never been that emotional. Like, I mean, as a woman, as that man is right now. And Kathy has walked in and is, like, making a face, and she's like, I mean, I pity him. To have so much emotion affect you, like, in one day, that's a lot. And Kathy's like, how dare you?

[Michelle]

How dare you? Then Kathy, then is like, whispering to Kizzy. She's like, if he goes on about Max one more time. And because he's like, but surely she knows not to. About Max to you. Oh, yeah, Kizzy, I'm not gonna go to you about social mores and what is right and wrong and interpersonal relationships, okay? So you be quiet over there.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. So she's like, yeah, I don't like that. It's been all day. And V is like, I mean, like, you're literally dating him. And Kathy's like, oh, my God, don't say that. So then Nathan teaches Joe how to use the controller box. So now they're working with the crane on the Boat. Okay. And so Joe is lowering the hook down. Nathan goes down to get it, and then he gets hit by the. By the crane. So a lot of people getting hit by that crane this season. The second time that's happened.

[Michelle]

Things are really swinging around this season. But, yeah, I was really kind of sad that they did not have a camera or even in some sort of stationary camera. Like, how did they miss the shot of the hook bonking Nathan not only in the front of the head, but it turns out in the back of the head because it bonked Nathan in the front head. Then he ducked down, and when he stood up again and bonked him again from the back, when it swung back out.

[Ronnie]

I love that that crane is like the audience. So then we see that the Jet Ski has drifted away again. So the Jet Ski is in the middle of the ocean. And it looked like the tender was too, but I guess the tender is just, like, on a long road.

[Michelle]

Everything's gone to shit. Yeah, everything's gone to shit, basically. Yeah.

[Ronnie]

So he's like, well, the crane got me in the face. Wait a minute. And you see the Jet Ski just out in the middle of the ocean.

[Michelle]

So. So. So Max is like, oh, my God, you have to go save it. So he, like, rushes out to get it. And meanwhile, Nathan's trying to, like, mend his. The front and the back of his head from getting the hook in his face. Thanks a lot, Joe, by the way, for doing that. And then, well, Max is doing that. Kizzy is. Kizzy and Joe are now, like, dancing. They're. They're preparing for their performance that they're going to do that they volunteered to do together for the guests. So again, Joe, on the heels of getting broken up, not trying to win back V. Like, not even the slightest amount, he's like, already, boom, right back into Kizzy. And Kizzy is like, you know, she's like, well, you know, me and Joe have great chemistry, but with everything that's been going on with Joe and V, I know that if we do anything, everyone would hate me. Which is her way of pretending like she's gonna have a heart about the situation, and then she will go forward immediately.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, everyone already hates you, so don't worry about it. So then Guest is talking about an incident report she got from her daughter's school. She's like, yeah, so, like, during lunchtime, a friend had a book that Vivian wanted, and then Vivian took another book and hit the friend with it. I mean, bitch shouldn't have taken the book. Am I Right.

[Michelle]

So Josh is watching a video about how to do. How to cut the hamon. Josh, it's a little. You're really cutting. Cutting it close. No pun intended.

[Ronnie]

No, no pun. No pun made. Because he did not. That was. That was some thick ham. That was some thick ass ham.

[Michelle]

Joe, why are you. Why are you waiting until the last second to watch this video when you have to bring the meat out? Like, could you have taken, like, five minutes or ahead of time? Also, you know, you can watch these videos at, like, 1.5 speed. Just a little pro tip. So Nathan's calling for Max. He's. And. But Max is ignoring him because he's just like. There's this. There's this silliness that's happening on the water where, like, well, Max is getting the Jet Ski and they're trying to tie the Jet Ski to the hook to do this, but there's swells and Max is falling off. And while this is happening now, the hamon is coming up to the deck and Josh is there. Just when we say butchering, it's appropriate because he is cutting meat. But when we also say butchering, we mean he's doing it terribly.

[Ronnie]

It's so bad, and it's so embarrassing because the guest is standing right there, like, wow, you really don't know how to do this, huh? And he's like, I watched a YouTube. She's like, oh, yeah, you suck at this. And they're like, wow, this is really embarrassing. Like, everybody's talking about how embarrassing this is. And he's like, oh, God, I feel 18 eyes on my back right now. My biggest fear is being laughed at. And then they cut to him in the clown costume. He's like, I don't want to be laughed at. Like, am I joke? Are you a joke? Is this a joke?

[Michelle]

It's really bad when the lady has to go, well, you have to start somewhere. I'm like, oh, That's like I tell my daughter. You know, you listen. If you wanna. If you wanna learn how to be a bad, then you gotta start with holding on to that book. Am I right?

[Ronnie]

I really wish Vivian was here with a heavy book right about now. Anybody else? So the guests. So they're making fun of him. And meanwhile, the Jet Ski is still a disaster. Max won't listen. He's on the Jet Ski trying to hook it up, and they're like, no, it's too swelly out here. You have to do it from the water. Don't stand on it. Do it from the water. And he won't listen. So Nathan's about to kill him, and he's like, I can't take this. He won't do it. He won't listen to me. And something's gonna change. Something's gonna inspire him.

[Michelle]

Ranch, bring Gail back. I will listen to a million Gail conversations about her walls and Nathan cornering her, being like, I love you for the rest of my life. I will take that over having to watch Max for one more episode. Please?

[Ronnie]

Yeah, please. Max is so annoying. And he's not, like a bad person, you know, he seems like such a nice guy and all of that and whatever in his childhood, blah, blah, blah, but God damn, he's annoying. I can't believe that on a show all about working. They've kept Max for this long. This is crazy.

[Michelle]

Cray, cray, cray. So that's it? Yeah, that's it. So we'll see what happens. Thanks, everyone, for being here. Another fun episode of Below Deck Mediterranean, and we're gonna catch you on the next one, okay?

[Ronnie]

All right, then. We'll see you next time.

[Michelle]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

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[Ronnie]

She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

[Michelle]

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