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- [00:01]
A
Hey, Sal. Hank, what's going on? We haven't worked a case in years.
- [00:05]
B
I just bought my car at Carvana.
- [00:07]
A
And it was so easy. Too easy.
- [00:09]
B
Think something's up? You tell me. They got thousands of options, found a.
- [00:14]
A
Great car at a great price and.
- [00:16]
B
It got delivered the next day. It sounds like Carvana just makes it.
- [00:20]
A
Easy to buy your car, Hank. Yeah, you're right.
- [00:23]
B
Case closed. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens. Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is my fellow only fans creator, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?
- [01:09]
A
Well, hello. How's it going baby?
- [01:13]
B
It's going great. We, we are here today talk about some Vanderpump rules, the latest episode and do a little catch up on what we missed over the break. Very exciting today, today here over in the worlds of Crappins because the pre sale has begun for the Golden Crappies which are being held on February 27th in Los Angeles at the Fonda Theater. The pre sale is happening now on patreon, started at 10am Pacific and going until 10pm Pacific. And then tomorrow, January 9th at 10am Pacific, the tickets go on sale for everyone. This is going to be an amazing show. If anyone came to our show last year, you know, you know all about it. So that is happening tomorrow. We're really, really excited. There will be live streaming but those details are not sorted just yet. So for right now, for people wondering about that that will be coming. But of course the best experience is coming and seeing it in person here in la. So we're hoping to have some great guests and great fun and singing and laughter and joy and hugs and shadiness and all the great stuff. Also, we will be building out our ballot very soon. So in the meantime keep an eye out on our social media because we're going to be asking you all for help remembering everything that happened over the past calendar year because it's a lot of stuff and I've been doing my best to write down notes on things as they happen and remember who broke up and who left what shows and who got into fight with what. But sometimes we get so wrapped up in it it's just like easy to forget that things happened. So we will be soliciting your help on social media very soon. Keep an eye eye on it at Watch what Crappens on Instagram and on Twitter.
- [02:57]
A
Yes, that's the news community event. Also, Ad free is now live. Ad Free on Crappin is now live for ad Free. We are now with a cast. You get ad free through our Patreon. So go to Patreon. You'll see it right at the top there. It's another podcast feed next to the bonus feed. So once you're signed up for that, you can have your ad free arrive right in your podcast app. Just click put it in my app, and it'll ask you what app you like to use, and it'll go right into your favorite podcast app. So thank you so much for everybody on Patreon. Patreon is also where you get our bonus episodes and videos, which we do every day, and those are released Same Day on YouTube. I mean, same day on Patreon and then a week later on YouTube. So thanks to everybody for your support over there. And now let's get to Vanderpoop Drools. Okay, so Vanderpump Rules. Wow. I'm still enjoying the show. I think it's very cute. It's not like the other show. I mean, people. I like that it's not really trying to even compete with the other show. It still has Lisa and obviously the restaurant, but it's not at all like the other Vanderpump Rules. It's kind of like its new thing, and I'm okay with that. I think it's cute and funny. What do you think?
- [04:10]
B
I. I feel like. I feel like it's great. I think this show is just. It just picked up and just started going. And I just feel like I've been with these people for a while now. I'm not spending my time saying, oh, God, she's trying to be like Stasi. Oh, he's trying to be like Jax. Oh, they're trying to recapture the magic. To me, it just feels like a whole new thing. And it's a. And it's a fun new thing. You know, I'm into it. Like, this has the same energy as Southern Hospitality Season 1. And that show is really good, too. Like, I'm actually wrapped up in the dramas of the show. When I saw in. When I saw in the. In the. In the previews for this week's episode that. Oh, Angelica. Like that. That. What's his face. Jason stood up Angelica yet again. I was like, I can't believe it. And I was like, whoa, I can't believe. I literally just spoke to my TV like that. So I'm like, I'm obviously, like, invested. I think it's. I think it's really entertaining. And I think, like, I'm really curious to know how the broader community is feeling about it.
- [05:08]
A
Well, you're gonna have to ask the broaders. So we missed an episode because we were on break. We are not gonna recap that whole episode. I know, it's a travesty. But you know what? There's 10 episodes this week. There's only so much we can do. But we do have to at least talk about it and go through it a little bit, because things did happen on the show that need to be discussed. First of all, Venus wrapped.
- [05:31]
B
Venus wraps. I almost forgot. Ronnie reminded me before recording, right when.
- [05:36]
A
We said, this isn't really trying to be the other Vanderpump rules. We do have somebody rapping and we do have somebody who's going to be a DJ now who, I don't know, I don't want to say doesn't deserve it, because I don't know. I mean, look, I've played around with DJ software. You know, that's my hobby. Like playing around with, you know, music and musical toys. So, you know, I have my little DJ thing over here that I play around with. I don't think it's that easy necessarily, but still, like, people who are good DJs work really hard to do that. So you see somebody who's like, well, I'm going to DJ now. And then he puts on some Ray bands and he's like, see, I'm like, I have Ray Bans on. And I'm like, lifting my hands a lot. I don't respect you, sir. You know, you haven't. You haven't earned this. Where's your DJ school? Where's your. Where's your diploma?
- [06:24]
B
Where's your Kyle Cook tour poster? I think what's so funny to me.
- [06:30]
A
Is who have you staged with? Who have you DJ stodged with?
- [06:34]
B
DJ Stage. That's just his name, DJ St. I just think it's so funny how they act like djing at sir is like doing a set at Coachella. I mean, they're just like, oh, my God, I'm doing Sir. Doing sir on Tuesday. This was something that James Kennedy would always act like. I'm actually performing at sir on Tuesday, I got a gig at Sir. I'm like, there's nothing about sir that makes me say, oh, I can't wait to go to sir to hear their DJ and dance below the crystal chandeliers and the strange, like, Asiana antiquities. You know, it's like. It doesn't. Like, I'm just.
- [07:13]
A
Where else are you going to DJ that's full of Fleur de Lis and iron gates? Tell me. Tell me.
- [07:19]
B
Would you like to sit on a step stool then? Great. Do it at sir and listen to great DJs. Like, if you said Tao, like. Like, DJing at Tao, I'll be like, okay, that's cool. It's like a famous nightclub. It's like, a thing. But, like, it's like being able to DJ in the presence of Natalie. I don't. I just. I don't know why they get so excited.
- [07:40]
A
Yeah, they sure are, though. They're very excited. So that's Marcus's big thing, you know? And Venus is a rapper, we find out, because he's hanging out with his friends, and Natalie's like, oh, my God, I want to hear you rapping. That would make us all feel better, because Venus is still upset over fighting with Boring Face. Him and.
- [08:02]
B
Yeah, Kim and Marcus.
- [08:05]
A
Boring face, crinkly hair, and Marcus. So he's still really upset, and she's like, you know what make you feel better to do your rapping. Like, rap for us. So he raps, and here it is. You know, I'm from Texas, sleeping on, like, NyQuil, dunking on, like O' Neill hair down my back to the orange Hill.
- [08:27]
B
You?
- [08:27]
A
Yeah. I'm cutting off all year standing on business because I know that I got it. Everything I do is iconic. Selling this ship like I'm some pirate. No, I'm not Peter. I'm from the Revamp.
- [08:45]
B
So was he saying that? He's saying he's not Peter. Like, Peter from Vanderpump Rules. Yeah, Peter Pan because of the pirate.
- [08:55]
A
No, I think he's. I think he's calling out Peter. But, yeah, I mean, it is a mixed.
- [09:00]
B
It's like a. It's wordplay. I mean, I don't know these. Would I necessarily bring this in as a demo to, like, you know, roc a fella? Maybe not. But, like, would I maybe submit this for, like, the next season of selling Sunset? Yeah. Possibly be good selling Sunset, like, you know, interstitial music. Because I'm a girl.
- [09:25]
A
A girl with shoes. Shoes that are expensive.
- [09:29]
B
Yeah. Because, like, it sounds ridiculous coming out of Venus's mouth, but you put a sassy lady and a cool beat, like a don't think you have beat. You know, I'm from Texas, stepping on, like, NyQuil, dunking on, like, Ne O' Neill hair down my back like Orange Hill.
- [09:44]
A
Yeah.
- [09:45]
B
And then it's just like Chrishell walking into a coffee shop. Like that works for me.
- [09:49]
A
Okay, well, see, he won something. Because I just all I thought at the end of this, I was like this. If I had to describe this rap to somebody, I would. And they said, what was, what was the rap about? I would say, cut your hair.
- [10:04]
B
Just cut it. I mean, no, it's a bad rap. It's not good, but that's what I'm saying. I would buy it in the world of selling Sunset. Like, like maybe it's like they'll bring back Christine and they'll have like Venus rapping over Christine. You know that?
- [10:18]
A
Yes. Yeah, I think that works too. But do you think like James Kennedy was at home, like cutting his inner thighs? I don't.
- [10:26]
B
Yeah, he may have been, but just not for that reason.
- [10:30]
A
Yeah, so that was that, you know, and it was horrifying, but in like a cute. In, in a cute, like. Oh, kids. Just so, you know, open to failing publicly. Dreams, you know?
- [10:43]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [10:43]
A
Like, it's so fun. One of the most fun things about this show is watch people's dreams die slowly. You know, it's like you get a whole decade to just watch dreams wither away and die. It's heartwarming. It feels good.
- [10:56]
B
It's so great.
- [10:58]
A
Yeah, it feels good. It's like vampire, you know, spiritual vampirism. And I'm into it, so that happens. And then boring face, crinkly hair. What's her name again? Kim. Kim decides to have a girl's day, even though she's. She doesn't really seem to be like very girls girl, but whatever. Okay, so she's gonna have a girls night.
- [11:21]
B
Yeah, she's not someone I look to and say, hey, there's a fun person. There's someone who wants to do something fun. Here's someone who wants to arrange a lot of people together and have a social experience that's fun, but she decides to do it anyway. And she invites Natalie, even though she doesn't like Natalie because she's like. She says something along the lines of inviting Natalie is better than not inviting Natalie and having her like, lose her mind. So she invites Natalie, but then she's like a source. And then Natalie comes on the, on the bus. And Natalie's trying to like, you know, make amends and everything, but Kim just like won't have any of it and Natalie can't deal with it. Cuz Natalie clearly wants to like close this tab. And Kim is the type that's like, no, no, I need my moment.
- [12:02]
A
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.
- [12:10]
B
So they all go down to Orange County. I don't know why they go all the way down to Orange county, because.
- [12:14]
A
Why do they go to or no one parties in Orange County. Why is that a thing? They're trying to make the audience believe is a thing. Nobody gets a party bus to go to Orange County. What the are you doing in Irvine? Tell me.
- [12:25]
B
I'm. Yeah, this is clearly. The bar was like, we'll give them free drinks, and we'll provide the party vans. So Bravo doesn't have to pay for it. They're, like, done. Because there's just, like, this group is not going out of there. They're not going down to Orange county to party. They're going to Sunset Strip. I'm sorry. They're. They're going to go bull riding. They're going to the Saddle Ranch. We all know it. So. But they decided, two hours.
- [12:45]
A
Let's drive two hours in a party van with people we hate to, like, have shots at some weird, like, Mexican restaurant, like, three blocks from the beach. Like, what the hell?
- [12:56]
B
Yes. So Natalie can't deal with, like, the tension with her and Kim, so she's like, hey, I just want to say thank you so much for bringing me on this trip. It's, like, really fun, and if you want to talk about things, we can talk about. And Kim's like, I don't want to talk about it right now. Yeah, but, like, why don't you want to talk about it right now? Like, it's like, we're going through a lot. Like, it's a lot right now, and I just feel like we should, like, talk about. It's like, I don't want to talk about, like, why are you talking about it right now? And then Natalie basically, like, loses her mind because Kim doesn't want to talk about it. And then she just sort of, like, she spins out.
- [13:24]
A
Yeah. And then Angelica tries to come up and, you know, calm it. It's like, maybe you're gonna talk about it later. And then she pushes. She pushes Angelica. And Angelica's like, okay, you don't need.
- [13:37]
B
To pay me right now.
- [13:38]
A
And so that becomes a thing. So meanwhile, back at the ranch, Angelica hooks up. Is with. Or eyebrows.
- [13:49]
B
Well, not really, because it's like, she wanted to, but it didn't happen because, like, where we had previously seen when there was, like, that fight on the rooftop where. Where Venus was like, I hate Gabby, and she's all get out of my face. Angelica and Jason had been flirting all day long and having this, like, cute little, like, moment. And everything was lovely and great. But then we find out in last week's episode that after the pool top fun and flirtation, they all went to Barney's Beanery. And when they got there, Jason ran into this girl that he used to hook up with. And so he wound up like, he's like, oh, I'm just gonna go say hi to her. And then he sat with her, and then she, like, sat on his lap, and then she was all over him and, like, her arms were, like, all around his neck. And. And Angelica's like, what the hell? As she should have been. So she's like, well, fuck this guy. So she left. And then Jason went. I got. By the way, as you can tell, I got very invested in this entire storyline and am still invested. Jason then went. And in response, he unfollowed her on Instagram, which. What the fuck? And I also. I feel betrayed because you love. You love little Eyebrows so much. And I felt like this was. I was like, little eyebrows. You were supposed to be the sweet one. And you're. You're. You're doing some here. And, like, on behalf of Ronnie Caram, I will not stand for this.
- [15:04]
A
But.
- [15:04]
B
So he's doing this. So he. He unfollows her, which I think is, like, crazy. You're unfollowing her and then he just. He. He keeps. This guy gets dumber and dumber every episode. Like, is he low key? Turning into the villain of the season? Because he's like. He's like, yeah, that's just like, the way that I deal with it, you know? Like, that's just how I had to protect myself. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You. You were the one who was, like, going after this girl, and you brought her to this place and then ignored her to go make out with someone else. No, sir. So then he's like, can we have, like, a talk? So they go out to this, like, little bench that's in the back alley, and they're sitting there and they have this whole conversation and she's like, yeah, well, it was sort of, like, weird because you were, like, all over another girl. And he's like, yeah, but, like, that's where, like, I would have wanted you to step in and be like, hey, that's my man.
- [15:52]
A
What?
- [15:53]
B
Like, you're blaming her for it? I couldn't, Ronnie. I was.
- [15:57]
A
He wants to be fought for, Ben. Okay? He Wants to be fought for.
- [16:01]
B
I heard that this is a thing actually with Gen Z guys, that this is actually kind of their vibe is that they want to be. This wasn't this. This was the issue on Love island this last season, wasn't it? That the guys were not, like, were being very passive and then they wanted to be wooed. Right.
- [16:17]
A
I mean, I don't know, but if I worked out that much, I would want to be wooed. The problem is when you have a balance, Right. There needs to be some imbalance in a relationship. Like, someone needs to be hotter than the other person so that they can always hold that over the person's head. And then the other person needs to, like, be richer or smarter or something, and then they can hold that over the hot person's head because that imbalance creates, like, okay, you're always getting hit on, but I'm paying the rent. You know, there's like some kind of a balance in the. In the unhealthy relationship, and that's what makes relationships work. I think if people are equally poor and equally hot, it's not going to work. And I think that's what we're seeing here, because they both feel like they are. They're both people who are other people. First of all, she's still fucking her ex, we find out. So she's still living with her ex and her ex, but then expecting him. I mean, I don't know that she's expecting him not to. She just wants him to be honest. But there's this, like. Well, you're flirting with someone. Yeah. But you probably went home and your ex. So, you know, I don't know. She wasn't doing it in front of him. I mean, there was different ways that we can argue about it, but at the, you know. Right. She was up front, but. Well, I mean, he was up front, too. He didn't do it behind her back.
- [17:26]
B
He.
- [17:27]
A
He literally went. And that girl sat on his lap right in front of her. So they're both front.
- [17:32]
B
It's pretty upfront in your face as a upfront. So that's like you're sitting in the sixth row versus the first row. Yeah.
- [17:41]
A
Right.
- [17:41]
B
Front. And then you're really in the.
- [17:43]
A
You're literally up front. Yeah. So I, you know, there needs to be more of an imbalance. They're both equally hot and equally poor. I don't think it's going to work. Um, but he is the ultimate in worse. I mean, this guy. So not worse. Just. I mean, fuck boy. But I don't I don't even know what it is because I'm like not.
- [18:03]
B
Mad dumb, just dumb.
- [18:06]
A
He's just dumb. And he's self involved but also sensitive, but really only sensitive to his own needs, which is very Vanderpump Rules, you know, where she hurts his feelings. But then, so to make up for it, he, he texts her at girls night and he's like, hey, I'm going to be hanging out at, you know, wherever, wherever Kyle Chan is. TomTom. I'm going to be at TomTom and I want you to stop by. That would be really cool if you stop by. And she's like, maybe. I mean, probably not, but. And of course she does. And then he's not even there.
- [18:38]
B
That's what we find out today. Like, I was like, are you serious? Because I was like, I was. First of all I was mad at her that she even said yes. But one thing I really loved is that when he texted this very simple text of like, we're going to go to Tom Toms, he like misspelled every word in it. And I love. She was so judgy about it because she read it out loud and every time there was a typo she would like read it slowly and like loudly for everyone. Like, hey, go. Wanna go to TomTom, right? Everyone. And I sort of like loved her judging us about that just because he's, he's such a fucker. He's like a real little fucker. And also, don't forget that when they were talking about things on the, on their little bench, I was, she was, she asked, are you in a situation by the way? And he's like, no, but I mean, I've got options. Like, shut up. And she goes, I'm not an option. Like, who says that you're trying to like woo someone and apologize and you go, I've got options. He is such a. Yeah, he is. I mean, I should have seen it coming because it's Vanderpump rules, but they just, they made him seem like he was the sweet, young, innocent one and he was gonna be like the good one. And, and like right away he is like a five alarm fire. And so I'm just like.
- [19:50]
A
I have options. She goes, okay, well I'm not an option. He's like, wait, what? Like that hurts his feelings, you know.
- [19:55]
B
He'S like, I don't know. I know. But then she kind of acts like an option the entire time. Like I was. Because basically they were like, bro, bro, just invite her out, it's not over. Come on, bro, bro, bro. And so then he does it. And then I just. I mean, she just must be horny. I don't think that she should have gone and said yes, but she said yes. And I was massively disappointed in her. But by the way, that little scene on the bench ended with a fight, right? Because she was like. She was just like you. After that options thing, it all went sour. Then I think he went, oh. Because he goes, your energy is like a little clingy with me right now. You're the one who asked her to the bench. She's the one who decided not to hang out with you anymore.
- [20:33]
A
Yeah. So that's a. That's a mess. And then the other thing that happened was Venus broke up with Marcus. He's like, I've had it. He's like, can we talk? And Marcus is like, what you got for me, brother? Like, he tries to get all cool. It's like, what you got, brother? And he's like, most of the men in my life have treated me like shit. I'm not Peter. I'm from the revamp, bitch. He's like, okay, can we just. Can we just take the bad rapping out of it? Just have a discussion? He's like, well, I've never had a straight friend. And you've been horrible to me. You've been worse than gay people. The way that you betrayed me and you told everybody that I talk shit. Nobody should do that. I should be allowed to talk shit about you, which I have to say is true. Like, if you're with your friends, you should be able. If you're with your real friends, you should be able to talk shit about people and trust that they're not gonna go just tell everybody everything the second that they get mad at you. Who would be friends with trash like that? I wouldn't. I mean, is he bad for talking shit about everybody in the restaurant?
- [21:31]
B
Sure.
- [21:31]
A
But it's his God given right to talk behind people's back. He pays taxes.
- [21:36]
B
Sure, yeah. I've never worked in a restaurant, but I just have to assume that, like part of working in a restaurant is talking shit about everyone else at the restaurant, right?
- [21:44]
A
Yeah. That's what you do. I mean, in life, like, what. What job is there that you don't do that? It's what you do.
- [21:52]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [21:53]
A
So I think he has a good point. He's like, okay, maybe I overreacted to you and yelled at you and whatever, but for you guys to take all my personal gossip and then go spread and tell Everybody is not cool. It's like very dangerous liaisons of you. And I don't appreciate it. And Marcus is like, whatever. So they broke up.
- [22:14]
B
They. They have like a standoff, which is great. Where he was like, all right, fine, you can. Venus is like, you can go now. And he's like, you can go now.
- [22:22]
A
Yeah, why don't you go?
- [22:23]
B
You can go now.
- [22:24]
A
No, you gotta go now. Go ahead then. Go. And so then he does go. Marcus does go. And then Venus is like, yeah, that's right. I'm gonna stay here and text behind a pylon. I'm just gonna walk around this. I'm just gonna stand by this wall over here, even though I need to be inside.
- [22:41]
B
Right when you realize that what you've claimed is a ratty old parking lot and a bench and Marcus gets to go back inside to the warmth and like free cocktails.
- [22:52]
A
So.
- [22:52]
B
And then it was a funny episode. And actually also it was funny the way it ended because Natalie was going back to Orange County, Natalie was having that freak out. And the girls all decided, well it. We're gonna have fun. So they're all like jumping on like the mechanical bull and they're all drinking and like, like, woo, girls. They're having the best time. And it keeps cutting to Natalie. She. She kind of. She started talking to her friend on the phone and she just see her at the table and the girls are like swinging around on a bull behind her and she's just like, I can't even believe it. Like I'm literally here her crying. Like, worst night of my life. Like, why can't you hear me? Like, stop making out. Try making me out to be the bad guy. Like, what the fuck did I do? It's ridiculous. And the show just ends with her in the middle of her ranting. The show's like, we don't even care about what she's saying. It's just like, we'll fade to black.
- [23:37]
A
I think my favorite part of the whole thing was it when she's like, yeah, like if you're like, it's her. Like, if you're working at sir, you're like an artist. Like, you're a talented person. Like, we're all like showing off our talents like acting, modeling, or singing. And then it cuts to her going, It shows.
- [24:02]
B
So stupid.
- [24:03]
A
Okay, so now let's go to the current episode, which is season 12 episode fly, episode five, seeing red flags.
- [24:16]
B
So speaking of red flags, let's go out to see what the surf is. Like, it's Chris And Audrey, and they're surfing. Gotta say, I really enjoy Audrey. She's definitely a standout for me. And. And the last episode also, Chris and Audrey shared a kiss, I believe. I think there was their first kiss. So they're surfing and then Venus is washing. For some reason, he's like, washing his car on some random street in la. And he's acting like he's in a music video. He's like, on the hood. He's got, like, short shorts on. I'm like, I was expecting to be like, oh. And there's Natalie filming him, but he was just alone, just with the camera crew. I'm like, what are you doing?
- [24:52]
A
Real slow mo set. Erika Jayne and her, you know, Erika Jane. It's very Erika Jayne from this season. And then we see Shane taking a shower. Earning that money. Earning that money. Lisa comes in and has a meeting with Natalie and Guillermo. So she's. She wants a progress report on Chris. And Karen was like, oh, at the beginning he was kind of lost, but now I think he's great.
- [25:24]
B
And so he finally cracked aperol spritzes, guys. He figured out how to make them.
- [25:30]
A
Yeah, we see him trying to figure out how to make an aperol spritz on the computer. He's like, I can't even find it. I can't even find aperol spritz. Where is it?
- [25:39]
B
What's in it?
- [25:41]
A
So why isn't this alphabetical? And Lisa's like, oh, well, the girls sure seem to love him. And then we cut to, like, these tourist moms from, like, Oklahoma in, like, really bad dress bar and like, wow, you're real cute, aren't you, honey? What's your name? Christopher. Only my mom gets to call me Christopher, ma'. Am. I could be your mom. I'm probably old enough. Yeah, Chris. Good time girl. He's like, oh, my God, ladies. Oh, my God. Number one fan on your only fans. That's me.
- [26:14]
B
He's like, I don't know.
- [26:15]
A
I think you're a little bit. Four today. Got it in four, right?
- [26:20]
B
He's like, I don't know. You're a little too young for me.
- [26:23]
A
Oh, ye.
- [26:23]
B
Stop it.
- [26:24]
A
You look like you're 24.
- [26:27]
B
So now back to present. Natalie is like, well, somebody made a comment on social media that he is like, a sex worker. Some sort of prostitution. What do you think? This. What? A sex worker? Yes, a sex worker. So Lisa tells us.
- [26:45]
A
I love Lisa pretending she doesn't know what a sex worker is. She's like, oh, what? A sex worker. What Is this Lisa, you run, like, the biggest human trafficking spot on that block. Are we still pretending that you're not just running a human trafficking ring? Because I do not buy it, ma'. Am.
- [27:03]
B
So she goes, he's a sex worker. Pause. Three, two, one. Well, so am I. I mean, it's a fucking job when you've been married for 42 years. Get it?
- [27:18]
A
What defines a sex worker exactly on a scale of la LA to LA la? What do you mean? And she's like, oh, I don't know, like gigolo. Somebody who works with his body. Well, somebody was making a comment that he was on the Only fan. I have no idea. I don't even know what the only fan is. And she's like, oh, I don't know. Karen was like, oh, there's nothing wrong with only fans. Oh, you know what the only fans is? Do you?
- [27:47]
B
Well, you know, I heard about it. Oh, wow, look at his phone. He looks guilty. Go in there, Natalie. So Natalie is like, well, what you do in your private life is none of our business, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, even though it's none of our business. However, I will bring it up here, literally at our business.
- [28:06]
A
Well, I agree. I mean, we come from Europe, darling. Nobody wears any clothes in Europe anyway. I mean, for God's sake.
- [28:16]
B
Here comes one right now.
- [28:21]
A
I have to say. So one of our listeners, actually a couple of our listeners. Thank you. Thank you, boys. Sent me links to eyebrows doing a nudie massage video. Like, a guy was massaging nude. And there was wiener and everything. And so I was like, that was pretty good.
- [28:39]
B
Hello? Share the. Share the links. Hello?
- [28:42]
A
I can't believe I didn't actually. That's. That really is shit. I'll send it to you in a second. So I saw it and I was like, oh, my God, is this what his onlyfans is? So I've never gone on onlyfans before, which. Have you. I mean, I don't know if. Is it, like, so normalized that everybody's gone on it or is it, like, embarrassing to have gone on it?
- [29:00]
B
Here's. Here's what I've done with Only Fans. I'll, like. I'll. Sometimes I'll be like, I'm so curious. I'll click on. And I get to the page and of course, then there's like, all these locks that, like padlocks, like, not content. And I'm like, oh. Oh, well. And I just turn around and go back. It's like, I see. It's like, I It's like I drove to the store and saw it wasn't open yet, so I just turned around. I don't like, bother trying. I'm like, I'm not paying money. I'm not paying what I've.
- [29:22]
A
That's my experience with only fans as well. I get to the lock box and then it's. I look at the. You know, it says like, join and it's like $30 a month. I'm like, $30? You crazy? That's more than Netflix. I ain't doing that.
- [29:35]
B
For some reason I always think that, like, maybe this time when I go, there'll be like free content. And there's like, literally never been free content. So I'm like, oh, well, there should.
- [29:44]
A
Be like a clip. I mean, something like a preview, you know, like, here's just a little bit of penis. I don't know. So there needs to be something.
- [29:49]
B
You have to go to Twitter for that. You go to Twitter and. And they'll usually people will be like, here's what you can see. And you might see like a tease.
- [29:56]
A
Or, okay, well, I did. That's. So this is what I did. This was my journey. So I went to the Twitter. That's where I first found him. And I mean, obviously hot. A little too waxed and worked out for me. I'll say, like too much. It's too much. It's intimidating. That, that much and a little hair never hurt anybody. You guys. I mean, seriously, all you are a razorburn. You know what I mean? You're not huggers, I'll tell you that. Shaved chest people. So I went on there and I was like, okay, I'm going to go on the Onlyfans. So to get on the Onlyfans, I've never sign up. This whole thing is like national security. You have to put all of your in there. It's so embarrassing. I was so embarrassed that I did it, but I had to see eyebrows. I was like, I need to see if that video is any indication. Just for business, like, we're recapping this show. It's my duty. I was like, it's my duty to go. Thank you. So right off, you wrote it off. So I went over there and signed up, put my birth certificate in there, my passport, my Social Security, my. My out.
- [30:56]
B
It was Larsa Pippin by accident. Oh, I'm so sorry, Ronnie.
- [31:00]
A
No, but I did go in there and it was $11, which I found. And I was like, $11? I wonder what he's doing for $11. Yeah, a month. So I sign up. You know, I was like, okay, I'll give. I'll give you my $11. So go in there. It's just him shirtless or in a jock strap. There is nothing in there. I can't believe that cost 11 damn dollars. I can get that for free on your Twitter, sir. You need. I need more money.
- [31:25]
B
I had a feeling. I had a feeling that he was not going to show any peen. I don't know why, because I think.
- [31:31]
A
I did see it in that other video, but that other video wasn't on the only fans. It was from some other link.
- [31:37]
B
Oh, so was that like, maybe before he was on Bravo? So maybe he like scrubbed all the only.
- [31:43]
A
Didn't get them all. So anyway, my review of his only fans, not enough for 11. Listen, our Patreon can be 11. But you get videos, bonus episodes, ad free now. You know, there's a lot of stuff. This is just you without a shirt. I mean, you get that to me every day on the show for free, sir. And I did not get a refund. I don't think you can get a refund. I'm sorry, he's too wax. Can I get a refund? So I didn't get a refund, but I did, you know, cancel it. But I was proud that my first only fans moment was for eyebrows.
- [32:17]
B
Yeah, I just. I also feel like. I also feel like, like you're not allowed to talk about doing only fans on the show and be like, so proud of it. Like, you're doing like. Like he's talking in. In a way of like. Yeah, so I did it. Like, no, it's totally fine. You know, like, we should embrace sex, work and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that. His vibe is like that. Like, it's 2026. Let's not be so puritanical. You know what? I'm doing what I need to do to earn some money if I want to show off my body. It's my right. There's no shame in it. Like, that's his vibe. But if he's not being nude, then, like, why are you co opting the language for. For the people who are being nude, who are the ones who are doing something? Like, honestly, I would actually argue to say a little braver. A little braver because they're like, fully. They're. They are. They're putting themselves out nude on the Internet knowing that it could have repercussions for their careers later on. Now one could say this guy's doing something much worse by going on Vanderpump rules, which could have repercussions for the rest of his life for employment. But I just think, yeah, like people. People are putting themselves in a riskier position. And then you get to still talk as if you're doing something equally as risk when you're just showing photos of yourself in the same way that you're giving off for free. So to that. This is a double fail for the eyebrows this week. Both the eyebrows are going down in flames.
- [33:34]
A
It's interesting the way that you put it, because you're right. I mean, it's such a puritanical place that we live, right, where it's like onlyfans. Yeah. You know, like, sex is great and, like, everyone has this, like, free to be you and me kind of sexual attitude. But you're right. I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, oh, I'm a sex worker, but you just take off your shirt. It's like. Yeah, it's just like this kind of puritanical view of you don't get even sex work. It's weird. Yeah, yeah.
- [34:01]
B
Blaming street cred for being like a sex worker. And it's like, you don't have any. You're actually just a rip off at that point. You're a shirt off, rip off. Because now you're getting money for people to see your shirt shirtless, which is just what you're doing anyway, which is.
- [34:16]
A
You know, good for you. I mean, if, you know, I'm not going to.
- [34:19]
B
You can do.
- [34:20]
A
Yeah, I mean, good for you. If you could do it. I say, I mean, people. I'm going to have an onlyfans where just people pay me to put my clothes back on. I'll start in my. You know, I'll start with my FUPA out. And then people are like, oh, my God, please, Ronnie, please, at least some underwear. I'll be like $300. $300. I'll put on some underwear. And then until eventually I'm just like putting a balaclava over my face at the end, you know?
- [34:46]
B
You know, Denise Richards tits. So, like, eyebrows drop.
- [34:50]
A
Drop. I do not like the word tits. Can we not. Boobs. Boobs.
- [34:55]
B
She shows her bosom. Yes, she shows her breasts. But the point is.
- [35:02]
A
Okay, well, yeah, that's enough of that. But, like, I get. Yeah, and I agree. I'm just saying, like, I need more. I need more for 11 is what I'm gonna say now. Then did I pray and ask for forgiveness and delete my only fans and, you know, slap myself on the back with a whip. I did. I felt very terrible. But, you know, it was fun while it lasted. I mean, it wasn't really. It was a waste of money. But anyway, that happened. So they're talking about him being a sex worker. They don't really care because we're at sir. So then they're talking about this party that they're going to have, and it's for Guillermo because Guillermo is the Spanish George Clooney, and she puts her. She puts his picture up next to George Clooney, and they do look exactly alike. I've never realized that. Have you?
- [35:49]
B
Yeah, I never. Well, I just never thought about it very much. I don't spend a lot of energy thinking about Guillermo, I'm sorry to say. But he. They did actually look quite similar. He's produced a movie, and so they're gonna throw a party for the movie's premiere, and so it's gonna be a big event. Never. All hands have to be on deck. All right? And. And Natalie is. They start talking about second chances, and Lisa says that she's all about second chances. You know, Marcus seems to be doing better. Speaking of second chances, he wants to be a DJ alongside McKenna. I don't want to say no to anything to him right now because I feel like he's been struggling so much ever since I learned he was a broken bird. All this time, it's just changed my entire attitude about him. So please, please, please don't let his wings be clipped any further. Let's put that little bird on the DJ table and raise the roof afar.
- [36:46]
A
Well, when I thought he was just a well adjusted, handsome person with everything going for him, I said, no, you won't have a chance. But when I found out that both of his parents had tragically perished and his wing was broken, I said, DJ Broken Bird. Get up there, bleed all over the decks.
- [37:11]
B
Put your broken wing on the turntable and spin, God damn it, spin.
- [37:19]
A
Did you ever know that you're the wind that's not beneath my wings? Which is why the bird crashed, broke its wing, and became a dj.
- [37:28]
B
You are the wind above my wings. Because you're grounded at the moment. For your broken wings. Do a remix.
- [37:37]
A
You're like a broken bird. You'll never fly away. Don't you know where your sir is?
- [37:45]
B
So Natalie. So Natalie is like, well, let's see if he's any good, because what is the next step he's gonna ask you for? And Kra goes to drive your car. No, he asked me that the other day. He said, can I borrow your suit? And this and that and this goes, yes, can I borrow your suit? He did not. You know, does he. Is he aware that you're wealthy and he's not. Right. You're George Clooney and he's George nothing. Right. He's a broken bird. But there's even limits to that.
- [38:18]
A
He's like the Pandora of sir. Oh, Pandora's just walking around in a vanderpump pashmina behind her like, mommy, why haven't we seen. Why haven't we seen Pandora trying to hang out with any of the this cast yet? That's something that's missing. I like when they pretend they're friends with Pandora. Like, oh my God, I'm here because I'm friends with Pandora. And then we see like a clip of Pandora in the background and her mom spaghmina. Like, aren't we having fun, girls? They're just all throwing their coats on Pandora's heads as they walk by.
- [38:49]
B
I feel like Pandora is somewhere with a pashmina around her shoulders, holding a little wicker basket, going to like a farmer's market, being like, mommy would like these carrots. So then we go over to Glass Nail Spa, which I felt so honored. I love Glass Nail Spa. It's in Silver Lake. So it's not my regular nail spa. But when I am over there, sometimes my friend Jessica and I go to Glass Nail Spa and they do a great job. So unsolicited testimony from me, but Angelica is there with Natalie and they go in, they say hi, like, oh my God, you look amazing. And Angelica's like, yeah, I wanna, I wanted to look cute for you. So then we also see at the gym, Marcus and Shane Davis are working out. And Marcus is like, hey, what happens when you drink like 15 beers the night before, bro? Like, what do you do? How do you work out like that, man?
- [39:42]
A
That's your pre workout, bro. So back with the girls, we're gonna have a cross cutting scene, girls versus boys. So Natalie is like, oh my God, I'm getting red because it gives me confidence. I'm like so, so tired of feeling like sad and stressed. Like I'm over it, I'm over it.
- [40:05]
B
And joke is like, yeah, you've been sad. Yeah, now, yes, Natalie did push me at girls night, which was not okay. And we see flashback of Natalie doing that to her. But she goes, but then she called me the next day and apologized. So I'm just like trying to give her some grace because clearly she's going through Something. I'm like, give her some Grace. You're a black belt. I would have loved to have seen her just, like, get that leg in the air. I don't advocate violence, but I do advocate mastery in a skill. And I would have. It would have been hilarious if she just, like, got that leg up in there and round. Natalie's, like, under the table, like, pinned.
- [40:41]
A
Just for the person. Grace, give her some mace. Come on, X. Vanderpump rules. And I think this is. And I thought this before I even knew what was happening in the episode. Because Angelica, just the way she talks and laughs, I was like, she's perfect for Shane because she's like, oh, my God, it wouldn't look good for you. And like, she has a girl version of Shane's laugh. You'll. Once you see it, once you hear it, you will not unhear it. It's the same laugh, but a girl version. She goes. And he goes, it's the same. They even have three heads.
- [41:18]
B
So Natalie's like, let this be a lesson to everyone if you want to invite me to girls night and avoid a serious conversation. Like, don't be upset when I crash out. So Natalie then is telling Angelica that, like, I. I really would have loved for, like, after girls night for Kimberly to say, hey, I hope you're okay. Hope you're feeling better. We'll talk when I'm ready. And she sent me a receipt. A receipt.
- [41:41]
A
She's like, yeah. The bell from the cowboy bar said, hey, can you vent me Venmo me for your stuff, girl.
- [41:50]
B
I was like, what? Like, both of you guys, like, honestly, like, I need to take, like, a break. Honestly, like, take a beat. Like, that conversation will be, like, had. Like, both of you are ready. But, like, I'm here for you, girl. Like, that's what I just was, like, that's what, like, I wanted to say.
- [42:02]
A
Yeah. And so Angelica's working, but she's, like, low key stressed because I didn't eat. Jason and I. So then we go back to the gym, and now Jason has joined Shane and Marcus and he walks in with a gallon of water and a gallon of eyebrows. And he's like, hey, guys. So they're talking about.
- [42:29]
B
He's like, I know, I'm dehydrated. And so Marcus is like, yeah, well, you just missed us on the flatbed. You snooze, you lose.
- [42:38]
A
Yeah.
- [42:38]
B
Like, yeah, I got a half titty, bro.
- [42:40]
A
I'm trying to grow that with my half titty. Jason's like, can you grow half a Jet. Honestly. Looks good though, bro. Looks good. He's like, yeah, my little titties better. Bigger than most titties. At least I got that. I'm a half titty. It's pretty good, right? He's like, yes. How's that? How's the rest of the night, guys? Was Angelica pissed that I didn't show up after I invited her out and wasn't there? This is where we find out that Jason didn't even show up to Tom Tom, where he made Angelica go after her three hour journey from Orange County.
- [43:16]
B
What is wrong with you? We had to sit and watch a whole scene while you. You and Marcus sat there like A Beautiful Mind trying to figure out what to text Angelica to invite her out. Oh, they had this whole thing. It's like they tried all these different drafts. We watched you do this whole thing. You finally sent something out, misspelled. And then after all that, you don't even show up. You. You stood her up for your. I'm sorry date? No, no.
- [43:42]
A
Well, during girls night, Jason texted me, was asking me to meet up, and they made Tom Tom. And we see that. And she's. And she goes. And they didn't even show up. Like, what the hell? So then back at the gym, Marcus is like, yeah, you could tell she was really pissed. He's like, yeah, but I called her last night and I was like, listen, like, I'm really tired and like, I got an hour ride home. So, like, I just worked all night. Boop. Hung up. I was like, God damn. I mean, okay, well then text her and say, I'm not gonna go after all. Hope you're having fun. Like, the girl was in the car 19 hours, sir. She went to Orange County. Back from Orange county.
- [44:22]
B
Another country. And you're like, I got an hour drive home. Well, then why did you invite her out in the first place? So Angelica's like, yeah, like, he, like, called me and was like, non stop texting me about, like, how he wants to take me out to dinner and I guess, like, make it up to me in some way. That's like giving mixed signals. Yeah, like, mixed signals. Because, like, I don't necessarily want anything serious because I literally am getting out of my year and a half relationship now. Except we live together, so.
- [44:46]
A
Nightmare. Yeah. And she's like, oh, my God, but do you guys, like, sleep separately or do you still sleep together? Like, what is that? Yeah, but I mean, me so hook up. Yeah. I'm like, I mean, it's just easier, girl. Like, I don't want to be out there on these streets. So Natalie's like, I mean, duh. They're still living together. I just wanted to confirm, like, I'm not saying it doesn't make her, like, totally messy. I mean, it's like, messy, but, like, that's why she's gonna fit in, sir, just fine.
- [45:13]
B
She's like, listen, I'm just like, I'm getting it in, you know? It's like, well, doing what you need to do, girl.
- [45:18]
A
Yeah, I'm getting in where I girl, yeah, girl. Yeah, girl.
- [45:22]
B
Okay. Has to be strong. So, like, maybe Jason, like, he's like, cute, like, a little distraction in the midst of this. So basically she's like, whatever. I think she just is looking at Jason as, like a. Just like someone to hook up with at this point. So now we go back.
- [45:36]
A
I hope that she's joking about pull out game. You better be putting in some pills down your throat or something. Don't make me come over there in my antivan and, like, give you a. What do you call it? That you put in your arm? The birth control in your arm. I'll do it. I'm gonna become licensed for that. Just for my chances alone. I'm gonna follow them around and be like, you need a shot in your arm. I've got a little device to put in there. This is only gonna hurt for a second. Be careful, Angelica. It's a dangerous world out there. You don't want to. One day, nine months later, just eyebrows come out of you.
- [46:11]
B
That's a disaster. Yeah. Pull up method doesn't work, just for the record. So Jason is like, oh, man, guys, I'm all about Angelica and I want to hit her up. It's just like, just let me do that. Like, let me just, like, take the step and be like, hey, I'm sorry for what happened the other day. It's like, once. It's like, one sorry. That's all I need, man. That's what I can do. Like, why can't you let me have that? So back at the other place, Natalie's like, yeah, I usually date people at work, which is what I'm, like, trying not to do anymore. It's just like. It's very incestuous. That's like, very, very incestuous. Sorry. I just like working on my craft.
- [46:46]
A
So now we go to the restaurant, and Chris, Marcus, and Demi arrive at sir and McKenna's. Like, are those shades you're wearing tonight, Marcus? He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go, like, tuck belt black. Shades, you know, just go matrix on them. I'm a DJ now. All right. I've got Ray Bans.
- [47:02]
B
Yeah. And then Venus is talking to Natalie, seeing how she's doing, and she's like, yeah, I'm just, like, trying to plan for this event. Like, I think, like, you know, nothing got done that was supposed to get done, bar prep wise.
- [47:13]
A
So.
- [47:14]
B
And Venus, like, are you kidding me right now? But then we just go over to the clouds premiere where. Where Lisa is doing some press for it, and she's like, oh, I know. This film is great. It's about aliens or cowboys or something happening. Europeans walking shirtless and naked. I've heard a lot about it, and Guillermo's worked very hard. He's. He's just a good man and deserves everything that comes his way. The only shame is that his wings are just too supple and intact. Someone break his wings already?
- [47:49]
A
I would just like to thank my dear friend George Clooney for being too talented to actually do this film. Which is why we've given the chance to my restaurant manager, Guillermo. Let me tell you, Guillermo's not afraid to bust a table. Right? Thank you. Thank you, international press.
- [48:08]
B
So they're all getting ready for this giant party and everything, and people are showing up, and Angelica shows up, and there's, like, tension between her and Jason because of everything. So he's like. Jason's like, okay, let me go to the bathroom and fix my hair. So his hair, you know, he already has kind of that, like, Playmobil hair. You know, it's like that circle. It's like Velma hair. It's like that's just like a dome of hair around his head. So he goes to the bathroom and he puts his hands through it. So now it's all spiky and deranged. I'm like, I appreciate the tribute to 2004, but, like, can we update this hairstyle?
- [48:42]
A
Chris is like, you look like zac Efron.
- [48:45]
B
In 2004 again, 2004.
- [48:52]
A
So now we see Marcus at the DJ booth training, and McKenna's like, oh, God. All right, here we go. Another boy I have to train to do my actual profession. He's like, she doesn't let him touch any buttons. Which I actually like, because he's supposed to be learning. He does not get to touch anything. He just stands there behind there. He just stands behind there with those sunglasses, like, yep, Ray Bans.
- [49:13]
B
That's right.
- [49:13]
A
Ray Bans brought these from Guillermo. Yeah.
- [49:18]
B
So that Jason goes up to Angelica and he's like, with. Now his hair is spiky and, like, off to the side. And he's like, hey, I haven't seen you in, like, a week. Yeah, it's been a while. I'm not going to lie. Imagine if she lied. It's been a very short amount of time. Why are you lying, bro? Thanks for not lying on this critical piece of information.
- [49:44]
A
So they go have a sit down, and she's like. He's like. So I just want to say I'm just, like, really sorry about everything from before. Like, I wasn't ready for the first time we talked. And she's like, yeah, I was a little, like, confrontational. Not gonna lie. Like, not gonna lie about it, because, like, when you said what you said, like, it kind of insulted me. Not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't, like, a compliment. That would be a lie. And so we see a flashback to him calling her clingy, and he's like, well, I didn't mean to insult you. I mean, clingy doesn't have to be a bad thing. I like my girls clingy.
- [50:18]
B
Except you said, whoa, I'm getting a clingy energy from you right now. I'm not sure about this. So I don't think that was a. I don't think that was a compliment.
- [50:25]
A
Especially by the compliment from her.
- [50:28]
B
Yeah.
- [50:31]
A
It'S like, you're boiling my bunny right now. Sometimes people like boiled bunnies. Like, what do you want me to say about it?
- [50:35]
B
Yeah, what do you want? He's kind of giving Craig vibes a little bit. Like, he sort of has that, like. He's sort of leaning into, like, little boy. He's like, oh, man, my heart's beating so hard. You know? And then. But he's also, like, obviously, like, a liar, and, like, he's always sort of changing the truth and the reality. So Angelica's like, I mean, if I'm your girl, then I'll be clingy. I mean, I did think you were so cool. And Jason's like, I'm not gonna lie now. But it really affected me the whole week. Wait a second. You're not lying? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I was so stressed. Not gonna lie because, like, I met you, and I thought, like, you were, like, really sweet, and you're, like, kind of the person that actually like to get to know.
- [51:16]
A
So, yeah, like, you're the kind of person, like, I wish I didn't even ever see ever again. That was a lie. That was a lie. That One was a lie.
- [51:26]
B
Two truths, and I'm not gonna lie. Isn't that just three truths? Not gonna lie. You're totally right.
- [51:32]
A
Well, maybe I'm, like, not even willing to give you a second chance. Just kidding. It's opposite. Stay. That was a lie.
- [51:40]
B
Oh, my God. That was. That was. I was getting so lost in that because, like, opposite days, but, like, also, like, not gonna lie. I couldn't really follow that. So, like, thank you for clarifying that.
- [51:48]
A
He's like, well, I know that you do, like, Taekwondo, and I do jiu jitsu, and I was thinking we could go to jiu jitsu together, Tom. Oh, okay. So she does taekwondo and you do jiu jitsu. So you're gonna do your thing?
- [52:01]
B
Yeah. You're gonna make her do your thing?
- [52:03]
A
Yeah.
- [52:04]
B
I was like, that's not. I feel like. I don't think what he realizes is that, like, he has been, like, he's gone to the doghouse, like, a few different times now, and she keeps on letting him out for no good reason, and he doesn't seem to realize, like, he needs to kind of, like, bend to her a bit. And so he keeps doing these things, and she's just like, okay. She's like, are you asking me to put you in a chokehold? He's like, like, yeah, I would like that. Not gonna lie. And Angelica's like, jason really tries hard to project a lot of confidence, but, like, once you peel back a little bit of that ego, he actually can be, like, very endearing. I can't help but, like, want to give him another chance. I'm like, it's your fifth chance, and I don't yet. Enduring is fine, but he's also literally standing you up and lying and being crazy to you.
- [52:44]
A
Yeah. He's like a little puppy. Like, when you want to take that home. I mean, if it's rabid. No, don't. A puppy, you know, I mean, that's what I'm. That's what I. I would say. That would be my advice to you.
- [52:58]
B
Yeah. And she's like, okay, well, you can just, like, text me. And I, like, won't ignore your call this time.
- [53:06]
A
He's like, oh, my God. So you did ignore my call. It's like, yeah. So now Audrey and Kim arrive, and Kim's like, so I feel like everyone's staring at me. So I guess I'm just gonna go in the kitchen and pretend like this isn't happening. Okay. Because she gets there, and it's awkward energy, and Natalie is like, are you okay? Are you okay, V? Are you okay, V? And he's like, I just don't want to, like, fight with her, cuz, like, I love her. Like, literally, like, I don't even want to fight with her. Like, I literally don't even know what we're fighting right now.
- [53:37]
B
I think this is actually Natalie, not Natalie. But it is funny to think that Natalie is caring about. I don't think Natalie even knows who Venus is. So Natalie's like, what happened? And so Venus is like, I just, like, want to move on. Like, I want, like, I just want, like, everyone to just, like, like make up and just like, bring peace. So that's where I'm at in my headspace right now. Yeah.
- [54:00]
A
But it takes two because like I told Angelica today, like, friendship is a two way street. And so the fact that she's not talking to you, like, that is frustrating. That's not a step in the right direction. That's like, wrong direction step. Like, where are you even going right now? Like, why are you going there?
- [54:13]
B
You're on the wrong. Wrong direction. On the sidewalk, on the 1. On the 1 way street. And like, friendship is a two way street with sometimes a traffic light. Okay. And like, also a little bit of construction on the side. So the sidewalk on the left is closed. So you're have to walk on the right side. That's a friendship.
- [54:25]
A
Yeah. Marcus. Venus is like, well, even if Marcus, like, doesn't want to repair a friendship, like, I don't want to, like, lose Kim. Like, who wants to lose Kim? I mean, like, everybody needs beige in their lives. Otherwise, like, fun throw pillows don't make as much sense. You know what I mean? We all need basics.
- [54:43]
B
Like, America is thinking right now, we cannot lose Kim. Kim is so vital to the success of this show and the success of my life. I cannot lose Kim.
- [54:55]
A
It just feels like I'm missing a piece of home. I mean, I. I don't know that that's a compliment when you just told us you came from a place with one stoplight. You know what I mean?
- [55:06]
B
She's the dumpster. She's the mailbox.
- [55:08]
A
It's like, she's like a jar of mayonnaise. I haven't had that since. I'm so. I miss her.
- [55:14]
B
So now Audrey comes up close down Walgreens.
- [55:17]
A
Audrey comes up and Audrey's like, oh, my God, I'm so glad I get to wear this. She's in a low cut, little red dress thing, and she's like, oh, my God, look, you match my Nails. So he's still going on about Kim, and he wants to talk about Kim, and he can't take another 24 hours, so he's gonna do it, guys. He's gonna do it. So meanwhile, Kim is at the DJ booth, and he's like, hey, you digging it or what? Can't hear you above the headphones. Got some ray ban. Sorry, can't hear your response, but I'm pretty professional right now.
- [55:52]
B
That's right. So then Kim. So basically, Kim is like, wow, it's not giving. Bad Boy McKenna, you're on A.B. duty. Ha ha ha ha ha. Make sure his abs are okay. So Venus is like, okay, okay, I gotta prepare my hair. Okay, here we go. So I was just like, yes. Hair work, hair work. So Lisa comes up to the DJ booth and she's like, okay, guys, I know you're living your in your own little world over here, but you have to read the room. Why are you not playing Pink Martini? Okay, that's the thing that gets everyone dancing.
- [56:27]
A
You need to think of the vibes of the restaurant. Like, is there a song called you can run but you can't hide or I own you now or stem cells. Stem cells. Give me your stem cell. Something, something, something, please.
- [56:47]
B
All right. I hear there's this new jam that people are really into. It goes, you got to act senuate. The positive e limb and the negative. It's going viral everywhere.
- [56:59]
A
And he's like, oh, Guillermo gave us a set list, Lisa. So, I mean, I'm pretty sure he's into it, but you're right. Okay, well, we'll dance now. She's like, say that again. What did you just say? We'll dance now. No, the other thing I forgot. You're right. That's what you said. You're right. Just keep saying you're right. Now get me some Sedaka. New Sedaka. Get these juices flowing, darling.
- [57:26]
B
Yeah. The party is beginning now. Peaches and cream.
- [57:31]
A
Let's get some berry manilow up in here.
- [57:39]
B
If you want the girls to really drop their panties, then just start saying, solid. Solid as a rock. Yes.
- [57:47]
A
Brick House has never failed in. So.
- [57:52]
B
Let'S get physical. Physical. You know, something current, new, like that.
- [57:59]
A
So then Shane comes in with a new dark haired girl. Get another. Yet another new one. And he's like, whoa, no way. Who's that superstar over there? The Raven.
- [58:12]
B
Marcus is like, yeah, yeah. I think I'm crushing it. I mean, I should be DJing. DJing here. I mean, not even here, but, like, around the World, even. I mean, if there's a play button on a CD player, I'm there to touch it, okay? If that's what people want, I'm gonna give people what they want.
- [58:32]
A
And now Venus takes Kim outside to the smoking alley to have a discussion. He's like, well, let me just start with not really, like, talking to you and, like, not communicating you. It's, like, been really, really hard for me.
- [58:48]
B
And Marcus is like. All of a sudden, Marcus appears in the doorway. He's like, wait a second. I feel a little sad. I want to be part of this. And Kim's like, like, go inside. Go inside, babe. I'm having a scene. So of course he listens to what she does, and he's like, okay, fine. He goes inside.
- [59:04]
A
Okay, well, anyways, first of all, it's been, like, really hard for me not talking to you, and, like, I love you, and, like, I want to move forward, and I can't imagine my life without you, Kim. Like, again, I'm like, what is my life without him? You know? It's like, you're. You've ever. You know, I've been in your corner more than anyone here. Like, more than anyone, and I want to make sure that everything's right with us. You know what I mean? Like, I just, like, you go with everything. You know what I mean? I need a friend that just, like, blends in, you know? Just blends into the background. I like that I could put you, like, on a white carpet and just never even know you're there. It's, like, a really important. It's really important.
- [59:42]
B
Well, I feel, like, afraid to trust you right now, you know, because you wrote a really mean text after. We wrote you a mean text first, but we act like you're the one who started it, and, like, I just, like, like, don't want to feel that way because, like, you were the person that I trusted the most here.
- [59:57]
A
I was like, okay, well, like, maybe I shouldn't have, like, talked out, like, talked about you like that or talk to you like that, but, like, I'll never do it again. And she's like, I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. But, like, there's, like, so much, like, Marcus, like, in the past couple of weeks, like, me and Marcus, like, we opened up to you the most. Like, me and Marcus, like, let you into the Me and Marcus circle. Like, that's a big deal. It's, like, a big deal. We just don't, like, let people into our circle, and then to Be betrayed by you of like all people. It's like we're not only being betrayed by you, but we're being betrayed by like millions of split ends. And you have to understand how that hurts.
- [60:36]
B
It's like a really big deal to like let someone into the being Marcus circle, you know, because like you were the one that we trusted with information of like what sort of sunglasses as he was going to wear for his DJ set. Or like maybe do we want to put the chair in the dining room or in the living room? Like those are important things and we let you into that and we don't let anyone in and you just like, I don't know, like, was it even real? And then just because Venus, he just takes both hands, he does a double. He just flicks all of his hair back all at once. Like, oh, it's like major hair flip to be like, this is a big moment.
- [61:07]
A
And she tells us, yeah, Venus was like the place like me and Marcus's relationship. Like he was our first phone call anytime we got into a fight. Like, oh, wow. You see, this is people like him. She's like, oh my God, he was so lucky. I would call him and trauma dump on him every day. You think everybody gets that? No, he was lucky. He was lucky. I know.
- [61:29]
B
What a privilege to be on the receiving end of not one, but two toxic people who call and dump all their on him and then probably don't ask him a question about what's going on in his life.
- [61:38]
A
Got used by two people at the same time. Wow, what a lucky person.
- [61:42]
B
He was that important to us. He was so important because he was the only one who actually had nothing going on in his life. So would have to listen to us.
- [61:51]
A
Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
- [62:01]
B
Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.
- [62:08]
A
Our way is the Amber way.
- [62:10]
B
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
- [62:18]
A
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane Call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
- [62:31]
B
Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolus.
- [62:34]
A
Hava Nagila Weber.
- [62:36]
B
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo Jamie. She has no less namey Sip some.
- [62:44]
A
Scotch with Jessica Trotch.
- [62:46]
B
She's our favorite streamer.
- [62:47]
A
Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Sills be. She gets an A from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Leno. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.
- [63:05]
B
Aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.
- [63:07]
A
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
- [63:10]
B
This is living with Michelle Vivian.
- [63:13]
A
I love a Ya Olivia Williamson.
- [63:16]
B
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
- [63:18]
A
Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
- [63:20]
B
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
- [63:25]
A
Darn skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.
- [63:31]
B
Lopez.
- [63:31]
A
Happy are we Is Allison with an I? She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
- [63:38]
B
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
- [63:41]
A
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
- [63:44]
B
Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.
- [63:46]
A
Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
- [63:54]
B
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.
- [63:57]
A
Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
- [64:00]
B
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.
- [64:07]
A
She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
- [64:09]
B
Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock.
- [64:15]
A
We're right.
- [64:16]
B
Ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani.
- [64:22]
A
The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
- [64:30]
B
Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
- [64:36]
A
We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.
- [64:38]
B
Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony. Please, please don't stop at solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.
- [64:49]
A
She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.