#3153 RHOBH S15E04 Part One: Sedona Nobis Pacem

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Watch What Crappens
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Episode: #3153 – RHOBH S15E04 Part One: Sedona Nobis Pacem
Release Date: January 9, 2026

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Overview

This episode of Watch What Crappens dives into the first half of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15, Episode 4 (“Sedona Nobis Pacem”). Ben and Ronnie use their trademark wit to dissect the “Housewives Heat Wave,” lament the franchise’s lack of energy this season, praise and roast the cast’s newest members, and serve up biting commentary on the evolving group dynamics. The episode is full of hilarious impressions, Bravo lore, and classic Crappens tangents—all delivered in their offbeat, loving-yet-brutal style.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The State of Beverly Hills: Is It Dead on Arrival?

• Season’s “Lifeless” Vibe: Ben and Ronnie repeatedly express disappointment in the season’s lack of drama and pulse.
  • [03:58 Ben] “Rachel Zo is friend of energy. I'm sorry, she does... Beverly Hills is at its weakest when it's focusing on their looks and leaning into fashion.”
  • [04:53 Ben] “This is gonna be a season where they walk into rooms and squeal at each other's outfits... It's a shame, because I thought last season was really good... this one is just lifeless.”
• Comparisons to Other Franchises:
  • They contrast BH’s mellow pace with “Salt Lake City’s” over-the-top, campy chaos.
  • Ben: “At least Salt Lake is trying to do something and having fun, but this is dead on arrival.” [05:00]

2. New Faces and Power Shifts

• Amanda Francis, “Money Queen”:
  • Ronnie calls her “new money trash,” but loves that she’s annoying—and potentially the rival everyone needs to shake up the cast.
    • [05:23 Ronnie] “She’s a wreck and she’s a horrible human being, which I love. She’s new money trash.”
  • Ben: “On any other season, I'd say get this fraud out, but she’s the fraud this cast needs... watching her annoy every single one of the castmates just made me happy.” [07:59]
• Rachel Zo as “Dud” Casting:
  • Both agree Rachel’s “friend energy” doesn’t bring enough chaos.
  • Ronnie: “Maybe Rachel Zo will have a year and next year come in swinging... but [shrug].” [06:22]

3. Sutton & Jennifer: Fraying Alliances

• Sutton’s Sobriety:
  • Her newly sober lifestyle is blamed for decreased show energy.
    • [11:45 Sutton] “I've changed my drinking habits...”
    • Ben: “Now you guys are having a boring season because you shamed Sutton out of enjoying her tequila in the afternoon.” [12:11]
  • Jennifer’s take: “I don't know if you've ever been around a sober Sutton, but it's challenging.” [12:37]
• Comedic Analogies:
  • Jennifer compares Sutton’s anxious, fast-paced vibe to a “Catherine wheel” firework—“sometimes you just get hit by the smack.” [17:05]

4. Pet Peeves for Pet Owners (and Tangents!)

• Dog Discipline Rant:
  • Ben goes on a tangent denouncing pet owners who try to reason logically with their animals.
    • [22:10 Ben] “I always think it's funny when dog owners reprimand them by trying to speak logic to them... understands tones, not sentences.”
• Ronnie’s Rebuttal:
  • He lightheartedly defends it, insists dogs understand more than they get credit for.

5. Kyle & Dorit: Fault Lines in Friendship

• Dorit’s Marital Woes:
  • Dorit confides her anxieties about kids and finances to Kyle, who is less than supportive.
  • [29:39 Narration] Dorit recalls asking Kyle to talk to Mo about “how to get through to PK” but Kyle doesn’t follow through.
  • Ben: “Kyle continuing to be the worst girlfriend of all time... how reluctant she is to show up for Dorit.” [32:06]
• Kyle’s Loyalty Questioned:
  • Both hosts agree Kyle is not fully Team Dorit, likely sides with PK privately, and finds ways to defend him or distance herself.
    • [36:50 Ronnie] “I think Kyle firmly believes that Dorit is crazy... she’s taking PK’s side because she has her own issues with Dorit.”
    • [37:55 Ben] “She's now caught up with this image... so now she's got to prove that she's a girl's girl. When she's really, like, not.”

6. Rachel’s Mom Routine & Comic Relief

• “Rachel & Caius”:
  • Multiple hilarious riffs on Rachel’s obsession with her son, moisturizing, and caftans.
    • [41:09 Ronnie as Rachel] “It’s hard being a five year old in a caftan in flip flops waiting for your mom to show up. Statement necklaces are heavier when you’re a child.”
    • Ongoing Sky/Kai jokes about moisturizing, e-bikes, and the melodrama of mom-life.

7. Kathy Hilton’s Dinner Party & Amanda’s Social Climbing

• Amanda’s Over-the-Top Bragging:
  • Amanda tries to “one-up” everyone, talks about buying Kyle’s house, renovation choices, and her “tennis court/helipad/ice skating rink.”
    • Sutton observes: “Amanda might be the kind of person to one up or measure up, she's got to make it known—I have that too!” [56:35]
• Kathy Hilton’s Glare:
  • Multiple moments where Kathy gives Amanda her “patented disapproval look.”
    • [52:55 Ben] “Kathy gives Amanda so many nasty looks in this scene. It’s hilarious.”
• Gluten-Free, Caviar, and Cucumber Nonsense:
  • Amanda’s convoluted attempts to align herself with the BH elite get roasted mercilessly.

8. PK’s “Full Blown Alcoholic” Hot Mic Moment

• Who’s the Real Villain?
  • Discussion on phrasing: PK denies “fully blown alcoholic” is a real thing, tries to discredit Dorit’s narrative by focusing on exaggeration.
    • Ben: “PK was being slippery in that moment... he’s using it as a get out of jail free card.” [65:03]
    • Ronnie: “There are different degrees [of alcoholism]... But also, PK just shut up.” [64:15]
• Meta-Bravo Moment:
  • Both laugh at Alex Baskin’s constant “fart face” as podcast host during Bravo’s hot mic segments.
    • [64:31 Ben] “No matter who he's interviewing, this is his face... like he smelled a fart.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the show’s current state:

  • Ben: “There’s a sense of self satisfaction that what they’re putting up is interesting, but the show is languid and just lacking a pulse.” [04:50]

• On Amanda Francis:

  • Ronnie: “She’s a wreck and she’s a horrible human being, which I love. She’s new money trash.” [05:23]

• On Sutton's Sober Era:

  • Jennifer: “I don’t know if you’ve ever been around a sober Sutton, but it’s challenging.” [12:37]
  • Ben: “Now you guys are having a boring season because you shamed Sutton out of enjoying her tequila in the afternoon.” [12:11]

• On Kyle’s friendship:

  • Ben: “The amount that Kyle demands of her girlfriends, and yet how reluctant she is to show up for Dorit...” [32:06]
  • Ronnie: “Kyle is not really on Dorit’s side. She just plays it for the audience.” [37:46]

• On Amanda at Kathy’s:

  • Sutton: “Amanda might be the kind of person to one up or measure up… I have that too. I do that too. Oh I have that too.” [56:35]
  • Ben: “Kathy gives Amanda so many nasty looks in this scene. It’s hilarious... like five more seconds to prove yourself.” [52:55]

• On PK and Alcoholism:

  • Ben: “I feel like PK was being slippery in that moment... using it as a get out of jail card free.” [65:03]
  • Ronnie: “But also, PK just shut up.” [64:15]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:58] — The Case Against Rachel Zo Casting; Season’s “friend energy”
• [05:23] — Amanda Francis’ role as chaos agent
• [11:45] — Sutton’s shift to sobriety explained
• [17:05] — Jennifer’s “Catherine wheel” metaphor for Sutton
• [22:10] — Ben’s rant about pet owners reasoning with animals
• [29:39] — Dorit-Kyle scene; Dorit reveals PK drama; Kyle’s lack of support
• [36:50] — Ronnie: Kyle’s real feelings about Dorit & PK
• [41:09] — Rachel Zoe’s “mom life” monologue, caftans, and kid drama
• [52:55] — Kathy Hilton’s dinner party: Kathy’s “death stare” to Amanda
• [56:35] — Sutton calls out Amanda for being a one-upper
• [64:00] — PK’s “Hot Mic” rebuttal and meta analysis
• [65:03] — Ben critiques PK’s excuses

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Final Thoughts

Ben and Ronnie’s banter transforms what they believe is a lethargic RHOBH episode into classic Crappens gold. Their impressions, running jokes (Rachel’s balancing act, Amanda’s bragging, Kyle’s uselessness), and sharp commentary keep it engaging for both casual and diehard Bravo fans. They lovingly eviscerate the show’s current failings while finding humor in the small details and social dynamics that make Bravo so watchable—proving once again, “we mock because we love.”

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End of Part One recap. Tune in next episode for the dramatic conclusion to the Sedona Nobis Pacem saga!

Transcript

[A]

Who cares what happens when there's so much of crappin? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

[B]

Good. I'm just over here scrolling my Instagram to see if the guy from Heated Rivalry messaged us. Come on, man. Come on, Scott Hunter.

[A]

It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

[B]

I'm sure he's totally in love. Where is my dm Scott Hunter?

[A]

For those who don't know what Ronnie's talking about, we had the immense privilege of going to the Spotify and Hollywood Reporter party to celebrate the Golden Globe nominees for best podcast. And so we had a great time there. And then the two of us, as well as Ariana and Logan, we basically forced ourselves into a photo with Francois Arnold. Is that his name? Right. From Heated Rivalry. And it was great.

[B]

And the guy from the other two, too.

[A]

The guy Bluetower from the other two. We basically forced this crazy photo. I don't know if anyone was as thrilled as the four of us were, but I took the lead. I took the lead. I was like, you know what? I said, I will be the one who will shamelessly interrupt these famous people talking to get the photo because it needs to go on our Instagram. So I went up. I don't think the guys were too pleased with me truly butting into their conversation. And they had every right to have been like, give me a gritted teeth smile. But it was worth it. It was worth it for the photo of the gram. And now hopefully Ronnie will have a new boyfriend. So we'll see Ronnie.

[B]

Oh, I'm sure I'm just what he's looking for. Yes.

[A]

Well, that being said, it's an exciting day also here, because on top of taking photos with Heated Rivalry stars, and on top of being reunited with our lovely Ariana Maddox, it's also the day that the tickets have gone on sale for the crappies. Speaking of Ariana, Ariana has been in some form or another at every single one of our live, crappy shows. So we now the next one is gonna be on February 27th at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. Tickets are on sale now. They're on our website, they're on our. On our social media. Go get them. Let's sell this thing out and have the best night ever. We're gonna be giving out awards for everything on Bravo that we feel is award worthy and even beyond, you know, Love Island Traders, all that good stuff. Like, let's do this thing. Let's have fun. We're going to build a ballot. We're going to have a great night. It's going to be a night of memories, y'. All. So come and join us.

[B]

Y' all's is. Yes, that's going to be a great time. Also, AD Free is now on Patreon. If you're looking for Ad Free, go over to Patreon. That's where you get it. Also, all of our episodes are there from the very beginning, which is hard to get on some platforms. So go over there and also that's where you get videos and bonus recaps. And this week we will be talking about the Traders. So we've got a busy day today. We've got Beverly Hills, we've got two episodes of the Valley, and we've got the Traitors. So we're not going to shut the fuck up today. So I hope you're ready to listen. All weekend long, my little, my little pets. All right, let's get to it. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15 Episode 4A Housewives Heat Wave this show is struggling. I'm just going to start off this recap by saying this show needs some energy. It needs some life. Rachel Zo might not have been the proper choice for that, even though I'm still in Enjoy Rachel Zo. But I don't know, I'm starting to doubt now.

[A]

That said, Rachel Zo is friend of energy. I'm sorry, she does. When they cast her, I knew she was going to be a dud because like her, this just isn't her vibe. She's very low key. And Beverly Hills is at its weakest when it's focusing on their looks and leaning into like their fashion. I know that there are certain people who really like it and that's nice. I feel like that's that should be like a nice fringe benefit of Beverly Hills. But a lot of times that gets centered as being the only thing that's happening. So when they cast Rachel Zo, they were pretty much sending out a flare saying this is going to be a dumb season. That's what they were doing. They were saying this is gonna be a season where they walk into rooms and squeal at each other's outfits and there'll be like some minor dust ups, but it's gonna be a nothing and it's a Shame, because I thought last season was really good. I thought the last two seasons were really good, and this one is just lifeless. And I wonder if part of it was. Is because it's on while you have, you know, Salt Lake City, which is basically a circus. I mean, I complained the other day that, like, Salt Lake City may have to rein it in with some of these, you know, contrived, manufactured season finales that they're trying to do, but at least they're trying to do something and they're having fun. But this show, I think there. There's, like, a sense of self satisfaction that, like, what they're putting up there is interesting. And, you know, I mean, I think I like all the players actually quite a bit. But the show itself is languid and just as lacking a pulse. It's like dead on arrival.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that said, they did bring in a new beach ball for the Seals to toss around, which is this desperate girl, the money queen. I mean, she's a wreck and she's a horrible human being, which I love. She's new money trash, and I'm loving watching them warm up to bully her for a whole cause. You know, that's Beverly Hills. They find someone, they bully them, and that's it. So they found somebody, and it's good. It seems like she's deserving. It seems like it's someone who's deserving of bullying, which, listen, I love some deserved bullying. You know, I think there should be amendments to the Trevor project, but. Yeah, so it seems like that's going. And I do. I will say I still enjoy the show. I mean, it is just like an easy, breezy show to kind of get through, but there's. They just could be doing so much more. And I know it's only episode four, and I know that we need to give the new. The new people some time to warm up. And maybe Rachel Zo will, you know, have a year and the next year come in swinging. I mean, I don't know, but.

[A]

Right. That won't happen.

[B]

Yeah. It is fun watching the destruction of Sutton and Jennifer's relationship because Sutton is yet again pushing someone way too far, way too fast, and she's gonna get it. Because Jennifer. You're not doing Jennifer some huge favor by having her on this show, you know, and I think Sutton probably has that feeling of like, well, I brought you on this show. It's like, no, ma'. Am. This is the bride of Chucky. How dare you. Have some respect. You are talking to an Oscar nominee. Yes.

[A]

Also I mean, you could also do a conspiracy theory that, you know, Kyle Richards, she basically produces the show and she calls the shots. If she did, if this were. It's this theory we're false, she would have been probably off the show a while ago because she's honestly, she just gives us what like is like the is she. She sort of manufactures and puts it in a bow and gives it to us. And like, look, I'm being honest with you guys, but it's really not. And if you look at it like, I mean, all of Sutton's crew has slowly been dismantled over the past few years where it's now down to just what's her face, Jennifer. Like, you don't have Garcelle, you don't have Crystal. There really wasn't much more beyond that. But the point was that like sudden there was a moment there where Sutton was, was making a. She was making a play to sort of move to the center of this cast. And Box Force 5 has continued to reign supreme. Something's got to be done. I don't know what it is. It's just, I don't know. But I do have to say I, Amanda Francis, on any other season, on any other show, I'd be like, get this. Oh God, this one's terrible also because she is an. She's clearly a fraud. But if she's like the. And the fraud that this cast really needs, because watching her annoy every single one of the castmates just made me happy. Like every time they give her a side eye, I just like laugh. I was like, you deserve this, people. You brought this on yourselves. You brought on Amanda Francis because you guys are too protected, you're too protective of yourself and you're too self producing. So this is what you get. You get Amanda Francis. Deal with her.

[B]

Yeah, deal with it, suckers. All right, well, let's get into it. Here we go. We open with Bo's a mom daughter driving scene. Like, oh my God, you're driving so crazy. This is nuts. I have a daughter. A daughter who drives. What am I gonna do?

[A]

And yeah, then we go to Rachel and she's like sitting by her pool and she's like talking. She's talking to Kaius.

[C]

Caius. Kai.

[A]

Tell me about camp Kaius.

[C]

Tell me about everything.

[A]

How is the camp?

[C]

Tell me everything.

[B]

No, Rachel, Rachel, you tell me more about camp. As in give me more. Okay, I'm just sitting in your flip flops by your pool every. Every episode talking to fucking Kaius. Okay, what did Kaius go through? Screen Tests for this show is Kai Senu housewife. I need less Caius and crazy from you. More gaps.

[A]

I was gonna say more bias.

[B]

Oh, I thought. I thought you said pious, but I was like, pious doesn't make sense. Bias makes sense. Bias makes sense. I need something. I need something. I need something with calf dance.

[D]

Also.

[B]

What are you hiding? I feel like Rachel is a caftan person. What is she hiding? I feel like it's like Meredith Marks blazers, like, where she even wears swimsuits with a blazer jacket. And remember how I thought for years, like, she secretly had penguin arms or something? I was like, what are you hiding under the blaz? Like, we didn't see her arms for, literally, I think, 80 episodes. And I'm wondering that with Rachel, what's happening? Are you just ahead on a popsicle stick? Yes. Hiding.

[A]

She's hiding so much. So she's like, caius, I don't think I could get any higher. Like, you could. Your IQ and your EQ are so high. Like, you couldn't be, like, more perfect. Like, I'm serious. Like, I die. I die for your iq. I'm gonna call it IQ because it's just like, I die for it. Like, be safe, okay? Stop picking your face and have a best time. Okay, Caius, don't pick your face. You get too much of an EQ to pick your face. Okay, Kaius. Kai. Kai.

[B]

So then we go over to Erica's house. Erica doing laundry, which, you know, what gives me joy. I'm just gonna say I love watching Erica do menial tasks. I feel like she deserves it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she's doing her laundry, and she's checking the lint filter, and she's like.

[E]

Oh, my God, who hadn't cleaned the lint filter? This is disgusting. Who did it?

[D]

You?

[B]

I mean, what are you going to do? Blame Mikey? Where is Mikey, by the way? Haven't we seen Mikey? We've seen Lia, but we haven't seen Mikey.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Well, the season's still young. He'll come around. He always comes around. She only three people in her life.

[B]

You think Mikey is, like, sick of getting blamed for that lint trap? Like, bad.

[A]

I just hit. I just hit. Go on the drive machine and see what happens. I love running the risk of fire because this machine is fire batch.

[B]

You are fire batch. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. And then we go over to Sutton's house, and Sutton's arranging a tea set.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She's like, daggone it. I dag on it. I haven't put cheese out. And that's okay.

[D]

You know what?

[B]

But she. She really likes cheese. Jennifer likes cheese. Need to get some cheese. And so Jennifer comes over, and she's.

[E]

Like, oh, my gosh, you got me cheese. How fabul.

[C]

I feel like I'm in England. This is fabulous.

[A]

So they go and they sit down, and Sutton tells us, I've changed my drinking habits over the past few months. I took some time off, and I just wanted to regroup. So now I'll have a glass of wine or glass of champagne that I can enjoy, and it's just. Just a change of lifestyle. Again, I say, you guys brought this on yourself. And look, now you guys are having a boring season because you shame Sutton out of enjoying her tequila in the afternoon.

[B]

Now Sutton can't pour Tito's into her. Her Cheerios. Okay, you did this, you guys.

[A]

This is you. Yes. Let everybody just be WASP and have their afternoon tipple.

[B]

These housewives shame everybody for being an alcoholic and then wonder why their shows get boring. Can we shame people for other things?

[D]

Jeez.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So then we go to Jennifer's confessional.

[E]

And she's like, well, I just had a bit of an afternoon sipple, so I think I've lost my drinking companion. But it's okay. It's a positive thing for her. I don't know if you've ever been around a sober Sutton, but it's challenging. Challenging times we're living in.

[C]

She's like, it's not as much fun to wear a caftan if the other person isn't drinking something.

[A]

So then Sutton's like, well, I've had a very, very, very busy morning. Those flowers in the vase, they used to be on a different part of the table, and I moved them. Busy morning? Busy.

[E]

I just woke up, actually.

[A]

It's 1pm so Sutton's like, well, I've been busy planning a trip for myself somewhere I've always wanted to go to said donor. And I'm inviting everyone.

[C]

Jennifer's like, oh, okay, you're inviting everyone? Well, so it won't be so relaxing, but it'll be nice. We'll meld our feminine energy.

[A]

And Sutton's like, yes, Sedona is a place of healing. You know, it's. It's a place of jeeps that you get into healing jeeps, pink healing jeeps. And I think all of us have some healing to do.

[B]

I've always wanted to go somewhere peaceful, somewhere where Women can just be women being peaceful.

[F]

God, I will drink.

[B]

Poor Sutton. Trying to have this season where she's going to be sober and peaceful is hilarious. This cannot last more than two more episodes. I just don't see it. And also, she's already got the attitude of someone who's trying to drink or trying to drink less for, like, five minutes. And listen, I've been there. You know, I get it. But she looks extremely stressed out by the end of this episode. Like, I will not drink too much. God damn it, Amanda. You don't know where it comes from. It's like, oh, my God, just get her an iv. Get her something.

[A]

Yeah. So sudden. Saying that she wants to bring everyone to Sedona. She also wants to, like, work with her relationship with Dorit. She goes that. She says that they've gotten to a place where we're safe and cordial, and I really think I can become friends with Dorit, and I really think we can do that in Sedona where I can become friends with her and then yell at her and then cry in her face and accuse her of being a bad friend. That'll probably happen, right?

[B]

So we see them talking about divorce and how Sutton was like, you know what? You will come ashore. You will survive this. You'll just have to get through it. And one day, you're going to wake up, it's going to be a new day. You're going to walk to that mailbox, and you're going to have a letter from the pope telling you that your last name is now brown. All the names.

[A]

At a certain point when you get divorced, you just get associated with a. With a corporate logo. And I was given ups, and that's fine. That is my lot in life. So Sutton says, I think with Dorit, we are touching on a few friend points.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes. You don't want to barge in. Like, I'm going to be your friend. You don't want to just come in like that, Sutton.

[E]

Yeah, you just don't want to be overboard about it. I'm your friend now.

[B]

I wouldn't do that. And I would. That's not what this is about, Jennifer. And you, I would appreciate it if.

[F]

You didn't mock me.

[C]

She's like, I'm not mocking you. I'm just in. Just having a drink right now. Something that you used to do with me. Well, don't say. Well, don't say.

[A]

Don't go in there. Okay? Like, I'm not going to. I'm not gonna go in there and Be like that. I'm not gonna be ag. Not gonna act like that.

[B]

Jennifer.

[A]

Which is, by the way, exactly what Sutton is going to do.

[B]

It's exactly what she's gonna do. And one thing we know from Sutton's first season is that she is gonna go in there, because that was, like, her first struggle on the show with Crystal. Remember walking into her room, Crystal's like, I am naked. How dare you?

[D]

I'm triggered.

[B]

So Sutton.

[E]

Jennifer's like, well, I'm just reiterating what you're saying. I'm not saying anything more than that. I'm just saying grateful for the cheese.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[C]

So Jennifer tells us with Saturn, sometimes I think that she gets all worked up and it's anxious or something like that and something. She. Sometimes she hurts people that she doesn't mean to hurt. And I described it once as like. She's like a Catherine wheel. You know, like that firework that spins around and around.

[A]

You put it in a tree and.

[C]

The smacks go everywhere and it burns.

[A]

Out.

[C]

And then sometimes you just get hit by the smack.

[B]

Yeah, you're talking about an abusive relationship. By the way, anybody who's got Lifetime has heard this speech before.

[E]

He doesn't mean it. I mean, he's a teen heart throb named Rob Lowe. Surely he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but he did chase me down the street with a knife. But I'm sure that he didn't mean it.

[B]

Yeah, you're.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Get out of there.

[A]

So she's not put sparklers in trees. I'm just gonna say that right now. Let's not put sparklers in trees. No more Catherine wheels.

[B]

Well, we don't even need Catherine wheels with neighbors like mine. In Texas, I have neighbors who literally sit on the street, they pull out lawn chairs. They don't put them on their lawn, okay? They put them on the street, and they sit there and they set off their fireworks, and the fireworks hit everybody else's houses. And the first year I was there, they hit my neighbor's house, and a bush started on fire. And they're just sitting there watching the fucking bush on fire with their kids. I was like, okay, you know what? Next year I'm going to come out here and I'm going to aim fireworks at your children. I'm going to sit directly across the street. What? Who are you?

[F]

Who does this?

[B]

You know, I think. I think a family of Catherine wheels.

[A]

Yeah. Yes, seriously. And. And you've got a flat tire. Okay? And listen, if fireworks done professionally with A company. That's great. Like, the whole, like, the backyard fireworks, the street fireworks. You're trash. I'm sorry. I'm just saying that right now I am tired today. Well, I'm not tired, but I'm just saying, like, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so it's all coming out. That's what's happening. Okay. Which is that I have to say I'm taking a stance on fireworks. If you're doing fireworks in the street, you're trash. Like, congratulations, you shot off one firework and you had a very, like, pathetic display of, like, pyrotechnics in the sky. Like, why. Why are you trying to do this? Why are you doing this? You're annoying every single other person. Because the thing is, with professional fireworks, you generally know when they're going to happen. But, like, with, like, fireworks in the street, you'll somewhat. You'll just be in your living room doing something, and then, like, all of a sudden an explosion goes off. You're like, I wasn't prepared for that. Why are you doing that for me? And now you're also probably caught something on fire. Trash. I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah, well, that. The same. The same neighbors have these little kids, and they had lemonade stands, and I used to buy lemonade stand lemonade from these kids. They never said thank you. By the way. That lemonade was, like $10. So fudge those kids. And they would sell honey for, like, 20 bucks, and I would buy it, and they never even said thank you. You know, the whole family. I should firework your whole house.

[A]

Firework them. That would be a good use of fireworks. Just set up a Catherine wheel right over their front door. Just let it bonk them in the head as it goes around as they walk out the side.

[B]

Well, I think that's too threatening when you have a child. So I'm just gonna go. Next time I'm just gonna dress like a really sad clown. I'm gonna stand on their front lawn holding a sparkler.

[A]

Just start calling them Catherine. And they'll be like, why are you calling me Catherine? You're like, it's a reference to a stupid firework from medieval times. It's my way of diss you.

[B]

So Jennifer says, well, Satin, your intentions.

[E]

Are good, and that's all that matters.

[B]

She's like, well, the road to heaven is paved with good intentions.

[E]

No, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[B]

She's like, oh, well, get out of my house. I bought cheese for you.

[A]

This is the moment that Jezebel.

[B]

Cheater, Betrayer.

[D]

Judith.

[A]

This is the moment that Sutton realized she was going to hell. She's like, but you mean all this time I was making a rove a road with good intentions. It wasn't going to heaven? I've been going the wrong way. How long have I been going down this highway?

[B]

So now we go to Dorit's kitchen, where she is prepping her dog food in, like, those bronze bowls, copper bowls. I don't know what you would call them. They're fancy bowls. I think they're very. I mean, they're like home goods fancy, but they're still nice. I mean, look, I felt like I should compliment her dog bowl, so I really like them.

[A]

I thought it was cute. It was a nice moment. I felt. Yeah, I felt like you're being very inclusive in that moment. So she lets Kyle in because she's.

[C]

Like, guys, my friend Kyle's coming over, so you'll probably smell her. Dogs, please don't go crazy barking.

[A]

I always think this is, like, really funny. Okay, as long as I'm ranting and I'm like, alienate. Well, I've already alienated the fireworks contingent of our audience. I apologize. I was. I clearly got triggered by this whole Catherine real situation. I have a new. I have a. I have another pet peeve about pet owners. I'm not even gonna say it's dog owners. I just see it more with dog owners. But people would do it with their cats too. I understand. Everyone talks to their pets, of course. Like, that's fun. Like, everyone talks to their pets. It's really fun. But what I don't understand are when people. When people. What's the. What's the right word? Are trying. Like, not murder. When people are trying to murder. No, when you're trying to, like, reprimand your pet. Like, if you're. If your dog is jumping up too much. If your dog is, like, being too aggressive to someone who's coming to the house and you're trying to, you know, pull your dog back or whatever. Or the dog is doing something in public. That's crazy. I always think it's funny when dog owners reprimand them by trying to speak logic to them. Like, Like. Like, here, Dorit saying, like, okay, you guys, you probably smell her dog, so please don't jump up as if the dog is going to hear that sentence, Understand every word in it or any word in it and be like, oh, she makes a good point. We should probably be chill. Like, what? Like, I get. I Get like what? I get like the casual. You talk to your dogs because it's like, that's just like pet ownership is kind of like, you sort of have like a. There's some sort of like a proxy relationship there. And like, I would talk to my cat when I had a cat, but like, I was at a friend's house and his dog was going crazy and running all over the place, and the. The dogs that. The tail was wagging, knocking over glasses, and my friend was like, listen, you really have to stop. You know, you. You have to stop. You're really out of control. I need you to really stop. And I was like, the dog doesn't know. The dog doesn't know this. Why are you doing this? Why are you talking like that? It understands tones. It does not understand sentences.

[B]

Okay, okay. So Ben is just basically advocating for people to beat their dogs is what he just said. I'm advocating on national podcast radio.

[A]

I'm advocating for better use, better, better tools of reprimanding. So that way it's like, effective. I'm not advocating for abuse, but I'm advocating for something more than trying to have a logical conversation with an animal that does not.

[B]

I do it all the time. No, I do it to my dog all the time. And you know, I do. You know, I'll be like, now, is this what we want to do? You know, I don't like this. I don't like this kind of behavior. But I do think that they hear the tone, which is like, they can hear that lagging in the tone, you know, and then that switches when he doesn't listen. It switches to, God damn, I'm gonna fucking kill you. You know, he knows what that means too.

[A]

So, no, it's like, I. Of course I understand, like the. That casual thing of like, okay, like, what are you doing right now? But there are some people who, like, it's not just that. They really. They really just think that. All they say is, hey, what do you. What are you doing? Like, what's like, why are you doing. When they're really supposed to be reprimanding. It's one thing to sort of like, be having that casual, you know, sort of jokey conversation you have with your pet. But, like, I am shocked at the number of people who really, I think, sincerely think they are making a change in their pets lives, whether it's a cat too. It could be a cat too, I thought, you know what? No, in fact, it's not a dog thing.

[D]

No.

[A]

I was at my friend's house recently, and the cat kept on jumping on the counter. And my friend was like, like, you have to stop doing this. I don't know why you're doing this. I'm like, the cat can't hear you. The cat.

[B]

They do. They do understand. Like, I have conversations where he. Like, he knows he's about to do something bad, like, go through the trash can, right? Like, take something out of the trash can and start, like, eating it. So I'll see him look at it, and I'll say, what are you doing? And then he'll look back at me and be like, what? And then he'll go towards the trash can. I'm like, really? And then he'll look at me like, what are you gonna do? And then he'll put his head in the trash can. I'm like, are we really gonna do that? Do you really want to die right now? Why do you want to die right now? You have so much to look forward to. You haven't even applied to colleges yet. Why are you dying? And he'll slowly drop it down and walk away. So I think that they do. They do hear.

[A]

You know, I think they hear tone. But what I'm. I guess what I'm trying to say is there are a lot of people who don't really change their tone. They. They just continue to talk to the dog as if they, like. As if the dog, like. Like the dog can hear, like, the word. The specific.

[B]

The dog understands.

[A]

I think we all know there's.

[B]

I'm telling you, dogs are just underestimated. They know Full dictionary.

[A]

Or cats. I'm bringing it out to cats, too, because I swear to God, I did have a cat experience last week. An adorable cat, but the cat, like, kept on jumping on things. And I'm. I'm telling you, it's just so funny to me that people just. They just talk to their animals as if it's going to make any sort of change. And again, I'm separating this from, like, normal pet talk, because I know we all talk to our pets, but this is like. I'm like, at a certain point, like, you have to. You switch into, like, I'm the boss of this house, right? And, like, does some people.

[B]

Not really.

[A]

I'm like, what?

[B]

No one has ever thought that.

[A]

We.

[B]

All know who the boss of this house is, and it is not me, okay? It has never been me. So speaking of being the boss of their own home, Dorit lets Kyle in. Cause Kyle comes over, and Kyle's like, oh, my God, are there no kids right now. Hold on. Let me text PK and she's like.

[F]

No, they're in Florida. They're in Florida right now. I've allowed them to go. Gar just wasn't himself. It was to the point where I had to wear a name tag that said, hello, your name is Jiga. I didn't even know who he was when he left. He said, goodbye, Jigga. I said, who are you?

[A]

What is that gonna PK go? Did PK go? Trick question. I already know the answer to that, but I'll pretend like I don't.

[F]

No, I sent them. I sent them without PK Even doing. What do you think of that? I said, go run that. That unbaked croissant calling you. Calling you, son isn't calling, run and take the neighbor girl with you.

[A]

Oh, so you said, fine. So, like, or did, like, PK sign off on both the kids being able to go, like, what's the situation? It's like. And Dorit's saying, like, the kids.

[C]

The kids are with my parents in Florida having the best time. The best time in an elderly community.

[A]

In Florida as just, like, what?

[C]

Kids want to be close to Disney World without actually going to Disney World. And I should be at ease and I should be taking care of myself finally. But instead, I'm riddled with anxiety about the kids, about finances because I lost 65,000 more dollars in cash in a big box store. And what PK is doing. I mean, how many Pringles is he eating right now? This is the worst feeling to live with. That was. And that's a feeling that you live with for 24. 7.

[F]

I might be dying here alone, but at least I know that Jiga has discovered something called bunku.

[A]

Commercials. Here comes one. Right now, Dorit is making this dog food, and Kyle's just staring at it. And Dorit's like, so did you speak.

[C]

Did you speak with Mo? Did you speak with Mo about pk? You have any gossip?

[A]

You're my girlfriend.

[C]

You have to prove yourself as a girlfriend. So you have to tell me the gossip that the guy said.

[A]

And Kyle, of course, the friend that she is is like, no, I did not do this thing for you. Normally, I don't think it's actually Kyle's under any obligation to do this, but given that Kyle has been reprimanded several times for being a bad girlfriend, I kind of feel like she should have stepped up to the plate in this case.

[B]

Well, and we see that when they were together a week ago, Dorit said, you know, listen, there's one thing about him saying, pk, listen, you got to stop. Maybe. Maybe you can speak to Mo. You know, maybe you can speak to Mo, Kyle, and you can get advice of what he thinks. Like, how do I get through to pk? And Bose was like, oh, Kyle, is that something you'd feel comfortable doing? And Kyle's like, of course. Of course I'll do that. Of course, of course. No problem. I'll do that. So it does make it a big deal that Kyle is just like, no, why would I talk to him? I mean, I didn't do that.

[A]

So, Kyle.

[B]

So she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, say it again. What?

[A]

It doesn't advance my story, so why would I talk to Mo?

[B]

Yeah. So she's like, oh, yeah, okay. Well, I do want to talk to him, but right now, I'm gonna walk back and forth around this island. Like, I'm actually preparing something in your kitchen. Cause I'm really uncomfortable around you. Did you notice she was doing that? She was doing, like, when you have people over and you're in your kitchen and you're kind of getting stuff together for your friends, you know, it's like, you're talking, but you're, like, putting the charcuterie or doing whatever. Carl's doing that. Like, it's her kitchen. She's so uncomfortable around Dorit. I love it.

[A]

She was creating kinetic energy in the. Around that. That kitchen island in a way that I did not appreciate. So she's like, no, I do want to talk to him. I do. I know. I mean, I'm like, I mean, I want to know how you. But how do you think he can help? Like, if you still think that. Oh, like, I was wondering how you think I could help. Which is her way of saying, like, I don't want to do this, and I don't understand why I'm doing this. If you can give me any good explanation for why I should be doing this, maybe I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it. That's what she was saying right in that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

And she's like, well, honey, honey, honey, I'm in my wheat end. I'm in my wheat's end.

[B]

She goes, okay, well, then, you know, we can maybe figure something out.

[F]

Well, Kyle, I was serious. Kyle, I don't think you. You quite grasp how out of control piggy is. He's out for blood, and the blood.

[B]

He'S out for is very high in sugar content.

[F]

Very high.

[A]

Kyle, it's gout.

[D]

Infected.

[F]

It's like that to me. It's the hardest part, Kyle. The hardest part, Kyle. Seeing potato chips that haven't been touched in the pink drink.

[D]

You know what? It's like.

[C]

The other day I had to FaceTime PK and he had blood coming out of his mouth. And I said, why do you have so much blood on your mouth? And he said, it's actually the red gel kind of stuff they put on a ice cream cake at tcby. I had no idea what that meant, but he wanted a lot of it.

[B]

So she's like making dog food really furiously now.

[F]

She's like, I need your support, Coyle.

[B]

And Kyle's like, I mean, you know, it doesn't even sound like it's being that bad, right? It's like coil.

[F]

You don't even know him. You think you know pk. Do you know the inside of pk? Do you know the plaque covered soul that is pique coil?

[A]

And she's like, I know, but it's like, if I said that about Mo, like, you'd be shocked. Like, what about Mo?

[C]

She's like, well, yes, but I wouldn't doubt anything that you would tell me, Kyle.

[A]

She said, well, I am not doubting you by Kyle continuing to be the worst girlfriend of all time. The amount of. The amount that Kyle demands of her girlfriends, and yet how reluctant she is to show up for Dorit. Like, this is now, like the second season in a row she's acting like this.

[C]

And Dorit's like, I would immediately say, oh, my God, Kyle, I want to kill him. Gee, what an. What a jerk. I can't believe.

[F]

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[C]

And then I might throw in a.

[A]

Scream kind of like.

[C]

And, you know, things like that.

[B]

Well, I'm sorry I didn't react the way that you wanted me to react, but I don't. I didn't mean it like that. And then she tells us, yeah, I just don't think it's smart to be speaking about your, you know, your ex so publicly. I mean, it's going to make your separation and divorce down the line, and it's going to make it more difficult.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

It's gonna.

[A]

It's so great to hear from the champion of being open and honest once again. It's. You know, she's. I'm really. I'm so glad that she's, like, run off a few people from this show because they weren't being open and honest enough, you know, and. And clearly what people need to be is open and honest. Unless it's your shit, in which case you actually hedge a little bit because it could be bad for something, you know? So I'm just so glad to see Kyle operating at, you know, in full, open honesty.

[B]

Yeah. Kyle, the lead housewife on this show, is like, oh, my God. Why are you talking about this on a reality TV show? So Dorit finally puts that dog food down. It has been so over mixed.

[A]

It's taking so long.

[B]

Yeah, like, if that was cookie dough, it wouldn't even have a chance, you know? It's just like, totally over mixed. So Kyle's like, okay, well, I mean, I guess we'll see what we can say to Mo. I mean, sometimes it takes a friend to say the hard things to make you listen. But just remember, you know, he's coming hearing only PK side, and PK is basically saying that, you know, Mo said that he's hearing the complete opposite and that Dorit's putting him through a really hard time, you know, and making it really hard for him to see the kids. And three, it's like.

[F]

The reason why PK is saying this is because he knows it's not going to be a good look if he's not around.

[B]

I mean, not that it's ever mattered.

[F]

To him that it's not a good look to wear dockers that are made out of spandex that are three sizes too low for you. What are you, the wrapping on a potato Dockers?

[A]

Why is Kyle so shitty? She's being so shitty right now. Here she is being. Dorit is saying, PK is making my life hell. He's out of control. And Kyle's like, oh, well, because he's saying you're out of control. So. And Kyle's kind of acting like, maybe we should rethink this because he says you're out of control. So maybe you're the one who's out of control. That's like the implication here, or the implication is you're going nuts or whatever. And Kyle is. Is. She's already kind of asserted to some degree that she's being a good friend because she's going to be. It's a good friend confronting someone with a hard truth. Which is very funny because when it. When that mirror is held up to Kyle, she is not happy about it whatso. But like, I just think this is the second in a row where. Where Kyle has really not been a girl's girl about this. She has reluctantly cut off, you know, contact with PK which I don't even believe that she has no And. And. And now, like, she's just sort of. She still just finds ways to stick up for him in little. Just like it. If you want to do it privately, fine. But when you're with your girlfriend, like, you should just be like, all about team Dorit right now. I firmly believe that. And not try to be like, well, but PK says that you're a kind of being the crazy one.

[B]

So you asked, like, why is she doing that? I think the reason that she's doing that is because she 100% believes what PK is saying. I think that she's seen their relationship, and I think that, in her opinion, Dorit is crazy. Dorit acted crazy in her relationship with pk. She drove him away. And, you know that whole season when PK is like, all I'm trying to do is do something romantic for you, babe, and all you care about as your glam, and you'll. You know when he did the pretty woman thing with welcome. Yeah, that whole season where he was just such a victim because, you know, dorit only wants the money, and that's all she cares about. And I think that Kyle firmly believes that. I think she thinks dorit's an asshole. Dorit's crazy. And now you know, which is true. PK was right to leave. And I think that. I don't know whether that's a valid opinion or not, because I'm not. Not close enough to that, really. Obviously, I just watch it on TV. But I totally 100 agree with you that Kyle is a terrible friend. And like she said last year, she's not really even friends with dorit. Like, she knows Dorit from cup being a couple and being on the show, but she doesn't even go hiking with dorit. So I think she's like, no, PK's funnier. I like PK. So I off.

[A]

I think you're right. And I think that, you know, I do think it's. It sounds like Kyle really does think that doritos too much. Because the thing is this. Kyle has issues with Dorit in her own. Her own relationship with dorit, and so she can't help but side with pk on some of these issues. But that being said, if you feel that way, if you do feel like Dorit may. May be the one who's more at fault for the. For the relationship falling apart, then, like, don't get so upset when people accuse you of being a bad girlfriend or anything like that. And, I mean, admittedly, like, Kyle did say, well, I'm really not that good friends with her, so. But it's like she can't just state pick the lane and stick with it. It's like you either do the. Honestly, guys, I'm friends with dorit, but we were never really that close. Which, by the way, was a lie, because obviously they were close. But, like, if you don't really. If you think that dorit is the one who's at fault here, and so then stop pretending like you want to be the girls girl for her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's now caught up with this image that she has where people don't think she's a girl's girl anymore, so now she's got to prove that she's a girl's girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When she's really, like, not. Her heart's not in it.

[B]

Yeah, agreed. And I do think it's from Kyle's past relationship with dorit that she's. She's taking pk side because from what Kyle said in the past when she had a problem with dorit, it's like, dorit takes these little things, and she's making this huge thing, and she won't stop harping on it, and she's trying to, like, ruin my reputation, Kyle's reputation. You know, she's, like, trying to ruin me over these stupid little things and making me look bad, and none of it's true. Like, she's exaggerating everything. So I think she's taking that and saying, okay, well, she's doing that to PK too, you know, and my opinion is that kyle and PK are both dicks, so that's what dorit has been reacting to. But, yeah, I think that Kyle's not really on dorit's side. But she's. I think you're right. She's just playing it for the audience, you know, and you can't have it both ways, Kyle, unfortunately. So dorit is saying, you know, he doesn't even want to see the kids. It's like he's gone for a month, and then he flies in town without telling everybody and just like, okay, well, I want the kids. Kids, but, you know, they have a schedule and they have school and they have, you know, God knows what they have after school. I mean, they're dorit's kids. So, you know, I'm sure it's like ballet, tap, jazz, piano, violin, cello. I'm sure it's nothing to do with, like, financial eq, financial iq. But, you know, she was like, you can't just drop in whenever you want.

[A]

So Kyle's asking What the plan is for next steps with this situation.

[C]

And she's like, well, I've been trying to do mediation for months. And he keeps pushing it and pushing it and pushing it. Little jabs, little jabs.

[A]

And Kyle's like, so you're saying you won't even do mediation? Have you asked Andy Cohen? Can he do it for you? Because, I mean, like, you can't, like, fight that battle alone.

[C]

And she's like, yes, but if PK and I can't come to some sort of agreement, we're going to have to go to court. And if we go to court, things become public and ugly, and it's war, And I don't think PK will wants that. And I know I definitely don't want that at all.

[A]

So she is basically saying, like, like, maybe I need to speak to mo. Which probably, by the way, dorit probably wanted to just go directly to mo first, but she knows she wouldn't be allowed to do that because Kyle would bite her head off, even though Kyle has no problem sending memes and hanging out with PK So Dorit probably had to go through this whole rigmarole of asking Kyle to do it first, knowing Kyle would never do it until Kyle would come back, being like, could you do it instead? Because I don't want to be in this situation. So now dorit is saying that she's floating this idea that maybe I need.

[C]

To be the one to speak to mo, because if there's anything that mo can say, maybe I actually need to.

[A]

Tell mo the truth and the reality, which, by the way, this is not going to work either because he's gonna be either stoned or he's just gonna be focused on his phone, and it's gonna be bros before hoes. So good luck with that week.

[B]

Yeah, he's just going to be like, huh.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Huh. I'll take the shrimp scampi.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. This was fun. This was fun.

[A]

I. I have to go to coachella now. I got to go. I got to go see a sick set with post Malone and Addison ray. So can we wrap this up?

[B]

Yeah. So now Dorit's going to go speak with Mo. Good luck with that. So now we go to Rachel. Guess what Rachel's doing. It's another Rachel and her son Ka scene. Can't wait.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

She's picking her kid up from camp. She's like, oh, my God. Being late is, like, my worst nightma because, like, with my mom, I was always, like, the last kid. I was, like, always waiting you know, it's so hard being like a five year old in a caftan in flip flops waiting for your mom to show up. Like, statement necklaces are much heavier when you're a child. It was hard.

[A]

God, I love this backstory on her. Her mom was late, so she said, kai, Kai. Yes. Oh, my God. Here I am. I'm here, I'm on time. Kai's. Am I the last one here? Oh, my God. I'm like, reliving my mom's trauma. Oh, my God, Kai. So he gets in the car and she's like, tell me everything. This is like the longest we've gone without talking. Like, how was it? How was camp? He's like, yeah, camp was good. I moisturize every day. Like, every day and night. What?

[B]

He's like, trying to get that summer glow up. Mom. Yeah, the juggles. And the struggle is real. Cuz, like, I'm a mom and like, people ask me all the time, like, how do you balance it? Like, how do you. And I'm like, I don't. I don't have a nanny. I'm like, hands on. But I'm also like a CEO. I don't know if you've been to Home Goods, but I have pillows. They're made out of fur. They're right behind me, actually. You can see them in my office. Look, faux fur Rachel Zoe pillows. They're amazing. Like, you know what that style is called? Dead. It's just called dead. Do you know how hard that is to balance? I don't balance. I fall down. Mentally, physically, I don't fall down. That's why I wear flip flops. I love flip flops. What are we talking about?

[A]

I have a son.

[B]

His name is Caius. You want to meet him? He moisturizes. By the way, his father's a real son of a. Don't say I told you. Caius. Do you moisturize? Oh, my God. Someone called the funeral home. I just died.

[A]

You know what's so funny?

[B]

I'm down here.

[A]

And now. He grew up to be a moisturizer. I'm like, so proud, you know, all I want all. You know, I always thought, like, I was gonna have one child and I'll be like, a girl, girl, a girl. And then I'd die, named the girl Bananas because the girl would be Bananas that would have a girl, that I want a girl that I have a girl. And then you know what? All I want to do is, like, dress my daughter, you know, like baby couture, and then just like, have her moisturize herself. But you know what? We make plans, and the universe laughs, and then the universe moisturizes. So here I am, moisturizing my mom.

[B]

You know what we're gonna do? Watch me balance this. Okay? Check this out. I'm in a kitchen. There's, like, bananas in front of me. Like, literal bananas. There's Rachel Zoe, pillows behind me. I've got a son. A son who moisturizes. Now watch this balancing act. Kai, let's call Sky Sky. Oh, my God. How does she do it all? Like, seriously, Literally, Literally.

[A]

She's. She's a CEO. She's a moisturizer, and she's got a kid, and she's gonna call someone named Sky. Sky. Sky. How's it in the Hamptons, Sky? Do they have moisturizer there? What kind of moisturizers are they using? Are you using your moisturizer? Sky. Sky.

[B]

Sky.

[A]

Sky.

[B]

Sky.

[A]

Sky.

[B]

The name's so nice, I named it twice. Sky. Sky. So he's like, I'm chilling. You know, My friend just got, like, a razor, like, bike, so it's really cool. She goes, it's not an E bike, is it? Because, like, literal death. That's, like, literal death. Okay, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky. I don't want you doing that because you're gonna end up in the Grand Ground, okay? Sky. Sky, please stop it.

[A]

Sky. Sky. So sky sky wants a razor. Does that mean we have to call you Sky Razor? Oh, my God. Nothing is everything. Seriously, Sky. I die. I die for that. And he's like, yeah, well, it's an E bike. And, like, it's small. It's just. It's just like Kaise's. Oh, my God. Kai says is small, but his is moisturized as yours moisturized. If yours isn't moisturized. I can't. I can't. I can't juggle that. I can't juggle it at all. I can't balance and chuckle it.

[B]

She's like, I'm not doing the ER with you again. Like, if you even say ER in this group, Kyle Richards won't shut up, okay? And, like, she had another face back then. It's so rough to talk about. Like, it's so hard to talk about a period in my life, of my friend's life where she was wearing scrubs every day. I mean, it's disgusting. Please don't take me back there. Sky. Sky, you were hospitalized once. You can't be hospitalized again, okay? Please. And so we see pictures of him in the hospital after being on an E bike. And he's like, whatever, mom.

[E]

I'm a man. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm a dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Flavortown.

[D]

I'm going to Flavortown Piat. So can.

[A]

Yeah, literally, Flavor. Like I die for Flavor Town. Like, I never thought I needed to go there, but like, I'm there. And you know what they serve there? Bananas. Cuz that's what it is. Don't get me wrong, having boys is the most exhausting thing ever. But I mean, I wouldn't trade it for anything except for like maybe an extra thing of moisturizer. I would do it for that. And then I would give the moisturizer back. I'd be like, I want my boys. I die for my boys. Take this.

[B]

Tell sky sky not to drive the backpack.

[A]

Please, please, please.

[B]

It's like, I would like to exchange.

[A]

This lubiderm for one sky and one Kai, please. Than very much.

[B]

Yeah. So she's like, oh my God, I didn't even hear anything past ebike. What else did he say.

[A]

There? You know what they see me as? They're like real princess. Like, they're so protective. Even if I'm like screaming at them to get their dirty socks off the table or to stop like leaving crumbs all over the place because they eat with their mouths open or for those times they come downstairs and like you have even moisturized, they're still like, they treat me like the princess. They like lift me up. That's what they do. And like they hold me when I don't even realize I need holding. Rachel, you always need holding. You always look like you're about to fall over. She's like, she is like, she is like a Jenga puzzle. 95%. One little brick. She's got one brick left. Just one brick left.

[B]

So now Jennifer and Sutton are on their way to Kathy Hilton's.

[E]

So who's coming to Kathy Hilton party tonight?

[B]

And it's gonna be them and Amanda.

[E]

And she's like, oh, Amanda. I'm sure that Kathy's going to enjoy Amanda. You know that she once had a reality show called Beverly Hills Bum Makeovers? I don't know. That's neither here nor there. But Amanda does not help.

[A]

I like Amanda because it's still episode four or five or so, so we're about to turn the corner on her. But for right now, I like her. And I think she can be shy and reserved, but she seems smart. And she's younger.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Okay, Sutton needs to start drinking again because she's lying. Okay, she's lying serum. Never in the history of Sutton has she ever said she likes someone. And one of the reasons why is because she's younger. That does not work with Sutton. Sun brown or sun track. She's like, I like that she's pretty. She's young and pretty, and she has so much potential. And she's in a healthy marriage. I like that about her. I just love flying Sutton.

[B]

I love that. And the way she's saying it with her evil cat eyes, you know, she just gets this mean glint in her eyes, and that's. She's got that glint in her eyes when she's talking. It's like, wow, look at her.

[E]

So young.

[B]

Got a fresh perspective on things. I just can't to wait. Wait to talk to Amanda and find out all the different ways she's been triggered or traumatized. I cannot wait to be called a gaslighter for the first time. Yay, youth. Yay, youth. Elbow dancing. Elbow dancing. Elbow dancing. Ticky to elbow dancing. Can't wait.

[A]

Tick tock. So we go to Kathy Hilton's house, and the staff is there, and Kathy is overseeing everything. And there's like, all. All sorts of food. Kathy is. She's like, hey, so I was thinking we could put some bee pollen on all the food. You know me when I get on a kick. A good old bee pollen kick, which. And Chef David's like, oh, yeah, put some bee pollen on there. I had a vision, and she just destroyed it. But Kathy is like, you know, she's like, this is the super. I'm telling you guys, this is the superfood of the year. I'm telling you right now. You know, the bees are like, hello, we've been talking about honey and pollen for a long ass time. Like, our lives are literally built around pollen. And now you're suddenly quite, quote, unquote, discovering a Kathy Hilton.

[C]

I don't think so, honey.

[B]

Yeah, she's like, the superfood pollen people. It's pollen. So Carol, who I love, truck driver. Carol's like, all right, Kathy. She's, like, stalking up there. So what do we got? What are we thinking, Kath? What do we want to change around?

[D]

She's like, well, I see these little honey jars, and that's cute, but don't we have blue ribbon to put on them instead of the red ribbon? Could we do that? Could you maybe switch it to blue ribbon?

[B]

She's like, got it. Blue ribbon. God damn it. Chef David, do you want to die young? Get out here and change this motherfucking Ribbon, David. What are you working for? Amateurs? You're working for Kathy fucking Hilton. Anything else, doll? Anything else?

[D]

I don't know. You know, I really don't like that bees have stingers because it really. They really don't come off as soft as you really want them to at a party.

[B]

All right, David, get down here and pull the stingers off the bees.

[C]

David.

[B]

All right. This is an amateur hour.

[F]

God damn it.

[A]

The entire time, Carol is wearing one of those Ralph Lauren teddy bear sweaters to soften her image. I know.

[B]

That's what I love about her. So Kathy's like, yeah, well, when I.

[D]

Lived in New York, I used to work at the Waldorf Wharf. I was a waitress and Rick was a bartender. So I saw the most beautiful parties. Oh, gosh, it was like art. I want my parties to be an experience, which is why the next time I see red ribbon, someone's gonna get hung with it.

[A]

I know. I like Kathy's saying that she wants her parties to be an experience. It's like, well, it wasn't a red. It wasn't an experience with the red ribbon. But then once it turned into blue ribbon, I was like, whoa.

[B]

Transported totally different life.

[A]

So Jennifer and Sutton arrive, and Jennifer's.

[C]

Like, hello, how are you? How are you? Hello, hello. Nice to meet you. That was charmed. Charmed, charmed, I'm sure. Charmed. Hello, hello.

[A]

And everyone's showing up, and Son's like, guess what? I got you a candle from the one place you haven't been to this summer, Marrakesh. And, you know, Kathy was like, like, just like, okay, thanks very much. America Scandal.

[B]

And we see that Kathy was in Naples, Italy, and Dallas, Texas, this summer.

[E]

Well, I should have wrapped. Wrapped up my smells like St. Lucia candle. Oh, sparkling water for Sutton. Look at that. Another fabulous day with Mrs. Brown. This should be fun.

[A]

So Jennifer's like, let's open as many.

[C]

Bottles as we can tonight because maybe Amanda will want some Cabernet.

[A]

And Kathy's like, oh, I'm excited to meet her. Which is a first, probably, of anyone ever saying that about Amanda. So Jennifer's like, well, I met her.

[C]

Briefly, and she came into my party and I had a party. Oh, you missed it.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I heard about your party. And then we see a flashback to the homeliest, homeliest nude models we've seen on Bravo in quite some time. Again, this show sometimes could take some notes from marriage and medicine.

[D]

They really.

[A]

They know how to do the nude model game.

[B]

But this one, yes, They've got the Good. They've got the good supplier for the strippers for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Kathy's like, I would have been.

[D]

So embarrassed with penises showing.

[E]

Well, some people were going to flee.

[B]

So then Amanda comes and she's like, wow, are you talking about the penis party? Yeah.

[D]

Oh, hello, I'm Kathy. Hello. God, you look extremely. Are you on sale? You look extremely tacky.

[B]

Extremely tacky. I'm gonna say that. Right? She just looks at her like, oh, you're tacky. I don't know. This girl just reads tacky.

[A]

Kathy gives Amanda so many nasty looks in the scene. It's hilarious. Kathy's patented, like, disapproval look is she'll be, like, eating something at her plate, and then she'll sort of like, have her head down, but she moves her eyes up to look at you. And it's like when Kathy gives you that look, it's like, oh, you've got, like, five more seconds to prove yourself that you're, like, worthy of her time. And then it's, like, done forever. Like, that look from Kathy.

[B]

Yeah, she does glare.

[D]

She'll be like, look at me. Just send us in Kathy later eyes.

[B]

So the producer asks Amanda, so this is your first time meeting Kathy? Have you heard of Kathy? She's like. I mean, she's Kathy fucking Hilton. Yeah, I've heard of her. Well, have you ever felt like a fish out of water in these fancy Beverly Hills situations? And she's like, no, I feel like I belong in any room I want to be in.

[A]

Okay, we'll say that. When you eventually have a court case, do you feel like you belong in this courtroom?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So caviar search. Pose for caviar, and it's gluten free. A gluten free. There's some gluten free crackers or whatever or bleenies. And Amanda's like, oh, my God. So I have to be gluten free. And caviar and cucumber slices is my favorite way. I have caviar every day actually, guys. Sorry. I actually, like, buy it. Like, I'll go to the store and they'll go to the caviar store and I'll just, like, buy it.

[B]

Yeah, I, like, have a problem biting my nails, and so I'll actually, like, put caviar under my nails so that when I bite my nails, like, I get caviar, like, literally every single second of the day. You guys. I'm totally a caviar person too. By the way, did I mention I'm gluten free? Because I am gluten free. Even though this was just offered to me as a gluten free thing, I need to stress that I am gluten free. So I don't know what it's like sitting with your gluten, but I know what it's like having cucumbers with my cat, which I have all the time.

[A]

And then there's like this weird moment. So she. She gets her caviar with the cucumbers, and she just talks about. She's like, yeah, I had to figure that out. I had to figure out about caviar and cucumbers when I realized I was allergic to gluten. And so then it was so hard.

[B]

I tried eating caviar with so many different things. Popsicles didn't work. Tires didn't work. Didn't work.

[A]

It's a real R D process for her. Yeah. And so then it goes over. It goes over to Sutton and she takes one. She goes, well, I'll just do the normal way. And then it, like, cuts to Amanda and it goes like. Like Amanda's, like, so angry that her view is being viewed as the non normal, the abnormal way. Abby.

[B]

So Carol comes over. She's like, sorry to interrupt this gap fest, but dinner is ready to go, ladies, so head down to the summer dining room. We're gonna be ladies today, everybody.

[A]

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. There will be food.

[D]

Well, I've never stayed at a house this long. It's crazy. It's been 18 years.

[B]

And Amanda goes, yeah, that's a long time. When I bought Kyle's house, I thought, yeah, it's just like such a great house. I just thought I was gonna renovate it and give it way it needed, which is like, everything. Am I right? It's so tacky. But, you know, now that we're getting attached to it, I mean, I've made really beautiful decisions. You know, Amic sent me a black card, and so I covered it in glitter and photographed it and had it blown up to wall size. And now it's like, in my hallway. It's like, crazy black card. That's right. By the way, black cards are gluten free. I ate caviar off of one the other day. I did chip a tooth, but luckily I had the tooth replaced with caviar.

[A]

Kathy gives. When she says that she's made some really beautiful decisions on Kyle's house. Kathy gives her first layer. Really nasty. Looks like it's like, what else? So Sutton goes, I'm starting to notice.

[C]

That Amanda might be the kind of.

[A]

Person to one up or measure up. She's got to make it known. I have that too. I do that too. Oh, I have that too.

[C]

You.

[A]

That is correct. But also, look at the person whose ass you're kissing. It's Kyle Richards. Like, that's literally her, her, her. That's her entire, like, Persona is walking to a party being like, where'd you get that? You got that. Where'd you get that watch? You have that watch? Oh, my God. Let me look at your watch. Let me look at your watch.

[B]

I'm getting that watch.

[A]

I'm getting the watch.

[B]

The house that Amanda is talking about renovating had Kathy Hilton stolen floors and Erika Jane stolen pink neon and Lisa Vanderpump stolen pink thing in the back. Swing in the back. I mean, you're right.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

She was, like, dismantling all of the one ups that Kyle had done. It's like a one upper coming for a one upper. This is really good.

[A]

Yeah. And so then we see a montage of Amanda being an. So we now see them walking in 30 minutes earlier. And Jennifer's like, oh, this is Carol.

[C]

Is Kathy's right hand woman.

[A]

And Kathy goes, left hand, right hand. And Amanda goes, I have one of those. Yeah. Both metaphorically. And I also have, like a left hand and a right hand. So you can say, like, I'm a big hand person.

[B]

Yeah. And then 10 minutes earlier, Jennifer's like.

[E]

I love eating outside.

[B]

Yeah. I think we eat most meals outside during the summer at my house. Yeah, both houses. Both of my house. I have two houses and like, 10 cars. Sometimes we'll eat outside in a car. Does that count, being outside? Because the car is not in the garage of one of the two houses. It's like a Jaguar. Like, so no, we'll be in, like a Roll Royce. Yeah, we'll be in a Rolls Royce. It's outside. Or sometimes we'll eat outside in a car in front of the like, well, I'm gonna build another house inside my other house so I can be outside two houses at the same time.

[A]

And that house, I'm gonna make beautiful choices with that house too. Just want to say.

[B]

Yeah. And so now we come back and Kathy's like, sometimes when people talk a lot, I just.

[D]

I tune out.

[B]

I tune out. But she's not tuning out. She's listening to every little thing. And Amanda's just going on and on. She's like, yeah, now that Kyle's house is almost done, I'm like, I'm sure we're selling this house. It was just so ugly. Like, the memories are traumatic. So. But, you know, like, we're going to get rid of it. But I'm like, I just made this. So amazing. Like, we just finished the tennis courts last week. Do you have those? I do. I have, like, pick and pickle ball. You can play pickleball on them, too, which is. You can ice skate on them, which is crazy. You can land planes on my tennis courts. It's like a. It's like a helipad. Spaceship landing, tennis court, pickleball, ice skating rink.

[A]

So we invited John McEnroe over and we said, sit in this putty. And we made a mold of his butt. That way every chair that's around the tennis court perfectly fits John McEnroe. So that way, if John McEnroe ever gets cloned and all of his clones come to see us watch tennis, they're very comfortable.

[B]

So they're all grossed out with her because she's ridiculous and she's bragging to some of the richest people in memory. So they're like, you're gross. And so dinner arrives and Kathy's like, it's organic, so. Yeah, I love organic things. Like, I'm allergic to non organic things. So thanks.

[A]

So they're, you know, Jennifer's saying, but.

[C]

I thought that maybe Kyle would be here for dinner.

[A]

And Kathy was like, oh, she couldn't make it. And yeah, so Jennifer's like, well, you know, with Kyle.

[C]

Kyle, obviously, because, you know, you bought her house.

[A]

And the man's like, yeah, we're. We're friendly just from, like, running into each other. I just, like, run into her a little faster than she runs. Just. Just saying. And like, you know, like. Just like knowing each other from, like per. From like the purchase and everything. Like, at the Glenn center, you know, Glenn.

[B]

Glenn.

[A]

That's where you find Glenn's. You know, do you remember she had Glenn. I got two Glenns, actually. And Jennifer's like, well, I'm.

[C]

I'm just really interested to see where somebody who's like, coming in and like, seeing and meeting and like, what did you think about Dorit?

[A]

Jennifer is just like, I want you to trip right now. So I'm gonna ask you about every single person in the cast, and we're gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna mine you for information and use it against. Against you.

[E]

So I'm going to stick my foot out and wait for you to trip over it and see if you fall is what I'm doing. So what did you think about Dorit.

[B]

And She's like, well, I mean, the first time I met her, and she's, like, in total distress. So, like, what am I gonna say? You know? And then we see a flashback to.

[F]

Dorit being, like, jigger anymore, Walking around with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I want Florida. Please take me to grandma, Grandpa Florida.

[C]

Do you know what that's like for me?

[A]

And so that's. That was that lunch that we saw. And then. But then Amanda says, we're back to present. She's like, so I thought about her a lot. And then, like, when I got to have lunch with her, I was, like, so happy to talk to her and, like, hear the whole situation and be there for her. And I just. I just been thinking about. I've just been trying to, like, manifest something for her. Like, I don't know, like a Snickers bar. I think it's gonna happen soon, guys. And then. But then she says, but I was happy to talk about it with her, and I started wondering, like, is, like, her talking to everyone going to affect her divorce in some kind of negative way? And then she says that after having lunch with that. That lunch that we saw with Bows and Dorit, she thought she was like, oh, God, BK's such a douchebag. Like, you know, PK Team Dorit. And then she went and had lunch.

[B]

With Kyle, and we knew it, because exactly what she said is exactly what Kyle said. Like, I'm wondering is this is her talking bad going to affect her divorce, which is exactly Kyle. Right? So then we see Kyle telling her, like, hurting stuff about how he's parenting. That worries me. I mean, last year, she would say things that would come out, and he'd get upset. So, like, that makes me nervous.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, like, she accused of being a goddamn alcoholic, which she doesn't say, but that's what Kyle did in her first season. So I think it's so funny that Kyle's, like, so up her own ass about it. So she's like, oh, my God. Like, she was adding fuel to the fire. What was she doing? She goes, yeah, yeah, she's adding fuel to the fire.

[C]

Well, last year, she did say that.

[A]

He'S, like, a raging alcoholic, and Amanda's like, yeah, and he didn't like that at all. And, well, who would?

[B]

I mean, who would?

[A]

But we see that clip of Dre.

[C]

Saying, he's like, a fully blown alcoholic. He's gonna just, like, it could explode any moment, like, get off the volcano. Because the pyroclastic flow of alcoholism is coming down the mountainside.

[F]

And if his alcoholism was. Was a gas tank, it would be full, full alcoholic, hundred percent alcoholic.

[B]

Right.

[F]

If it was a rotten tomato score, it would be a hundred percent rodent alcoholic.

[A]

So then we go to the Bravo's hot mic podcast with Alex Baskin, and PK is like, I mean, Dorit's lack of understanding about the sobriety is not her fault. She hasn't invested in it. There's no fully blown alcoholic. You're either an alcoholic or you're not. So it was emotionally difficult for me to watch it. Sorry. I, like, yeah, he's right. It's like, you're alcoholic. You're not. Like, there's no. But, like, if Dorit was just, like, emphasizing, like, this is like, death. This is a situation. This is like a full blown situation. That's how I took it. And he's going to, like, kind of discredit her for everything because she was, you know, emphasizing something.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I felt like. I feel like PK was being slippery in that moment.

[B]

Well, it's also incorrect. I mean, there are different degrees. We've got the. You've got the Meredith situation on Salt Lake City where it's like, like, is.

[D]

This a thing where it's a problem?

[B]

And then you've got the direction where it's like, oh, that's a full blown alcoholic. Like, that is.

[A]

Woo.

[B]

That is some committed alcoholism. You know, So, I mean, there are. There are different. And also, PK just shut up. PK just shut up. But I do, like when they show clips from the Alex Baskin podcast, because I love Alex Baskin's face. To no matter who he's interviewing, this is his face.

[A]

I know he's disgusted by it.

[B]

He's just like, he smelled a fart. It's like, they. He's like, can I have a podcast studio that just smells like fart so I can get into character every day? Because he could be interviewing, like, I don't know, Bette Midler, and he'd be like.

[A]

But also, what's funny is that, like, I feel like last season, pk, his whole thing was just like, you know, his whole thing was like, I'm an alcoholic. I'm sober now. This is my journey. I'm sober. But like, but he's like, really? He just really does not. Like, I might guess. I, you know, I take it back. Even if you are, like, you know, embracing that this is the. The new chapter in your life and, like, acknowledging that. That you have an issue, they have to deal with. It's still not nice to have to hear someone say, well, they're just a full blown alcoholic. So, you know, I, I was about to like be like, but you said you were an alcoholic. So she's allowed to say it. But then I was like, no, I understand. I understand. If you're going through it, if you're in recovery, you don't really want to hear someone just like taking out their forks and knives and like really going to town on it. So I will give PK that reluctantly. But I also feel like in the case of that podcast, he was still kind of like using that as a get out of jail card free. Like nothing, nothing that that dorit says none of her complaints are even valid because look, she called me a full blown alcoholic and that's not even a thing that you can say about someone. So therefore all this evidence is dismissed. And that was the vibe I got off of him and I did not appreciate that.

[B]

Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

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