Loading summary
Transcript193 lines
- [00:08]
A
Who cares what happens when there's so much of crappin? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, and welcome to Watch what Crap ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the glorious valley dweller himself, Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?
- [00:35]
B
Well, hello, Ben. The Valley, Lebanese style.
- [00:42]
A
That's right. Are you excited to talk about some of your neighbors today as we dive into the premiere event surrounding.
- [00:48]
B
Yeah. Hell yeah. Let's get some Valley action going, baby.
- [00:52]
A
Yeah. Before we do that, a reminder in case you missed the big news that tickets, the Golden Crappies, went on sale today. They are going to be on February 27th in Los Angeles at the Fonda Theater. It's going to be a wild and amazing time and we want you to be there. We want you to be there. It's going to be a fun, fun experience at night. We always have the best time. So come make it. Let's sell this thing out. Okay, let's do it. Let's make this bigger and better than ever before. Keep an eye out for solicitations for building this ballot. And then of course, there will be the ballot building the ballot itself. So it's gonna be all sorts of stuff over the next several weeks leading up to the Golden Crappies. We cannot wait. So go get your tickets. The ticket link is on both on our website and on our socials, so you'll just find it everywhere. And you can just google or just go to the Henry Fonda theater, whatever you need to do, get your tickets. Also, if you do go to Patreon, we have, in addition to our normal offerings, we now offer ad free. We formerly had ad free on a whole other platform, but now everything is consolidated in the same place. So if you want ad free, watch what crap ins it is there on our Patreon and one last Patreon mention, which is that we do our weekly bonus episode and this week we are talking about the Traders and whoa. I stayed up until 4 in the morning watching the Traders and. And I had to because it's the Traders. I watched all those episodes and I loved it. This new season is off to such an amazing start. It's an amazing cast. It erases last season, which no, last season had its good parts. But like, let's be honest, we all knew last season's cast was not the best. But now we are so back, baby. So we're going to Talk about episode one on our bonus episode this week. That's all my announcements. Anything you'd like to announce, Ronnie.
- [02:49]
B
That's it. Nailed it.
- [02:51]
A
Nailed it. Yes.
- [02:54]
B
All right, so let's talk a bit about the Valley. So now, the way the Valley premiered was absolute torture to Bravo commentators because they did not just put out an episode and they did not just put out a supersized episode. They put out an episode and a supersized episode in one night.
- [03:10]
A
So the same night that three episodes of the Traitors dropped, like to also add and Beverly Hills. Yeah.
- [03:17]
B
So we're not going to go granular on this. We're not going to be here for another 10 hours today. We just wanted to talk basically about the show, kind of get it set up for everybody because I think we are going to have a lot of fun recapping this show, but it's a lot of content, so we want to get through it and just kind of tell you guys what it's about, what's going on, who's on it, whatever. If you want to hear the trailer thoughts and the preview, you can find that on our Patreon. We did a trailer trash of that, so that was fun. So let's get into it. So we've got the. Some of the cast of Shaw's back. For those of you who didn't watch Shaw, Shaws was a great show. A lot of drama gets really dark. It's this group of friends. They go really low with each other, especially Reza and Gigi put on the screen.
- [04:01]
A
The three that watch a lot. Yeah. I mean, this is a toxic group if there ever was one. People always are like, oh, the Valley's so toxic. Oh, man, I'm brul. So toxic. People forget that Sha Sunset was doing Toxicity first. Okay. And they do it big time. So we're going to go through this cast. I. I put the. The pictures up on our. On the screen here, if you're watching with Crappin on Demand, so you can see who we're talking about at any given moment because a whole bunch of new characters. But yeah, Reza. Reza. Reza is the. Our. Our king toxic leader, you know, here on the show. And he's back with Adam. And so far there's not much going on with them in terms of. I don't think they have too much storyline happening. They're just more like, it's. The first two episodes were very much like, see, everything is good between us. Adam isn't as affectionate with me as he could be, which is like the same Story they had for 10 years on Shaws. But I think the big development here is that Adam has some sort of tabouli recipe that he loves to tote around. And, like, every scene is like, I brought my tabooli.
- [05:05]
C
He practically has the tabouli in his pocket. He gives it away like gum to children. That's so Persian.
- [05:13]
B
And we do open with a whole.
- [05:15]
C
Like, oh, my God, Persians are so crazy. Let me tell you about Persians. After the Islamic Revolution of 1979, I.
- [05:23]
B
Was like, oh, God, here we go. This is the first line. It's like, here we go. Everything is pers.
- [05:29]
C
Sidewalks. That is so Persian. Persian people don't like their children walking on grass.
- [05:36]
A
That's definitely like the Reza. The Reza special. So we. Yeah, the whole thing opens up with the original Shaws kind of giving a lay of the land. You know, it's like Reza and Gigi and MJ and, you know, they're all talking about why they moved to the Valley. I was like, for a TV show. Although MJ had already moved to the Valley, but last we had seen, Rez and Adam were living sort of like an Atwater village or Glendale. They were not in the Valley, necessarily, but Gigi.
- [06:03]
B
Calabasas. Is Calabasas considered the Valley?
- [06:07]
A
I think it might be. Cons. I'm not sure.
- [06:09]
B
Calabasas. I think that's where MJ lives.
- [06:13]
A
Yeah, it is. It's Valley. Ish. I think it might be considered. No, I don't know. Is. I'll look. You know what? Let's ask our. Let's ask. Yeah, ask.
- [06:24]
B
Ask if Calabasas is considered Valley. But, yeah, she moved out there a while ago, and then I guess Reza and Adam moved out there, and Gigi is going to move out there for the. You know, probably for the show or whatever.
- [06:35]
A
Calabasas is considered part of the San Fernando Valley.
- [06:39]
B
Well, they. Probably huge. That's crazy.
- [06:42]
A
Valley is humongous. How big is.
- [06:44]
B
So they're out there now. She. She's still with Tommy. Rez is still with Adam. Gigi has a baby now, and. But she's still, you know, being crazy. She's already been divorced. She had another marriage that lasted two weeks. So she's still insane and. And probably going to threaten to murder a lot of people because that was her thing. Like, she carried knives and she was listening, do you want my knives, motherfucker? And would always be threatening people. Now. The show, when it got canceled, was dark. I mean, they. There was a big war between Gigi, not Gigi. Well, yeah, Gigi and Reza versus mj, but mostly Reza and mj. And it just got really, really, really bad. Reza was screaming like, why don't you.
- [07:25]
C
You know, Talk about your 10 abortions, bitch?
- [07:28]
B
And like, it was really ugly. It got really hard to watch. And then Mike, who was the resident fuck boy on that show, just went down a very dark path. As the years went on, it got worse and worse until finally he was arrested for domestic abuse. Domestic assault.
- [07:43]
A
Yeah.
- [07:44]
B
So I think he's probably ultimately the reason the show got canceled. Because it got so dark.
- [07:52]
A
The show got dark, but then there was actually a post dark season that just was flat. And that was one of those unfortunate, you know, pandemic seasons. Like, a lot. A lot of our Bravo shows had rough seasons during lockdown, and they just. They had a hard time getting the narrative going. And it was like, there. That their final season was actually after that super dark season. And that was Reza trying to mend fences with mj, and that was the season where he spent the entire time.
- [08:21]
C
Being like, I still haven't met baby shams. I just want to meet baby shams.
- [08:27]
A
For an entire season. And then there was that. That. That lady who had the little hat that would join along with things. It was. It was. It was a. It was a dull, dull season. And that was. You also had what's his face. What was the guy. The teeth. Teeth guy. Nima. Oh, my God.
- [08:44]
B
Yeah. They kept trying to kind of recast it and get it working and add people, and the new additions weren't really working out. And, you know, it was still a good show, but it. It had. You know, it looked like it was kind. Yeah, it was kind of running its course. And then the mic thing happened, and it was like the end. So I guess the question coming back was, like, how are they gonna do this? Well, you've got three of the OGs. You're gonna have to re. You know, it's basically a new show. You got to reboot it. And how are you gonna do it? Because the cast is hard to get this cast right, because they're all good friends. That was the whole point of the cast. They all knew each other. They all naturally hung out together. So how are you going to kind of recreate that? And I think overall, they did a pretty good job. I mean, I think the cast in.
- [09:27]
A
This really good job.
- [09:28]
B
I was surprised. Casting was one of their roughest things on the original show.
- [09:33]
A
You know what? Because part of it also was. I think the other show was burdened with the idea that it had to be about these crazy shots who party all night long. All they do is party. When they get together, they party. And they went down the Vanderpump rules path, which is that they sort of all grew up and it just kind of. And they were. They were also talking to each other and. And it just kind of like crumbled and then. But now with the Valley, just as with the original Valley, they're able to kind of like hit reset on what the tone of the show is and what it's about, and it's really successful, I think. I think that they brought in some really interesting people and with fascinating dynamics. I love a show where you have all these different couples who hate each other. I mean, like, we just are. It's really not about who is going to get divorced. It's when will they all get divorced? Except for the. There's that one couple that seems to be pretty good. That's that guy who. He seems pretty sweet. They're like the Danny and the Nia of this cast, that is Amir and Amir and Natasha, they seem. They seem like they're in, like, pretty good shape. But you never know. It's reality TV that could all fall apart. But everyone else, it's like, oh, oh, oh, this is a nice couple. Oh, they hate each other. Oh, that's too bad. Okay, well, let's meet this couple. Oh, they hate each other. Oh, their. Their marriage is built on a car accident and nothing more. Okay. Yeah, they. That's gonna. That's gonna fizzle. Let's meet this Just everyone. Relationships about.
- [11:02]
B
Yeah, they really lean into the formula of the Valley being couples that hate each other and the friends that have to deal with them. And it works pretty well. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
- [11:20]
D
Mom, dad, I'm not throwing shade, but the whole New Year's resolution thing, kind of slippin. No offense. Anyway, my best friend Jenny's dad, crushing it. He uses Blue Apron. He says he ordered one pan assemble and bake meals and these things called nail kits. They're all super easy to make. He keeps yelling, protein and fiber, baby. Also the food. We tried it. So good. So maybe check it out or whatever. Blue Apron. Get 50% off your first two orders plus free shipping with code. Listen, 50 terms and conditions apply. Visit blue apron.com terms for more.
- [11:54]
B
So we start. Yeah, like we said a while ago, we start with Reza and Adam. Reza's thing is he was traumatized when Shaws ended. He was like, oh, My God, I.
- [12:03]
C
Would like wander the streets of Hollywood and be like, I'm not a Shaw anymore. Who am I? Who even am I? Like, I was so worried I was going to end up some 75 year old queen, like, with a cigarette and a turban. Like, these were my heydays, you know.
- [12:17]
B
Boys, there's still time. Like, why are we pretending that. Why are we pretending that you were just handed a 10 year contract?
- [12:24]
A
There's still time, sir. Okay. Do you think Reza is jealous that. That Dorinda got a second shot on the Traders after she was voted off first? But like, they, he did not. Like, everyone was like, you have, like, that's. Dorinda has to be brought back. Like, it's not fair that she got voted up before her first roundtable. But like Reza, Reza, just no groundswell for Reza.
- [12:46]
C
He's like, I really had to live with that. It was really hard. It was so difficult.
- [12:52]
B
So we've got him and, and Adam, you know, one of the main characters in the valley is the real estate. And I have to say, yikes. Oh my gosh. These Reza's home. I've felt so bad for Reza. I don't know if they just got this home because they were starting to film immediately, but you know, Reza has kind of like a tacky thing going on anyway. But his tacky is more like, you know, laughing kind of set. Like the laughing set or like 60s, you know, fun 60s, like shiny wallpaper, shiny geometric wallpaper from the 70s, you know, he likes that stuff like that. This is like really bad countertops. And yeah, most of it I was just like, ew, most of these houses are gross.
- [13:36]
A
Yeah, the houses were. Some of the houses were not amazing. Adam apparently spends a lot of his time gardening in the back. But again, like these two right now, like, they're not. They don't really have a strong storyline and that's actually okay. Actually, like, I feel like we've seen all the storylines. I'm happy for Reza to play this role where he sits down Gigi and he starts talking to her about her. Her credit. I actually really like that he's like.
- [13:57]
C
Okay, we need to talk about your credit because if you want to get.
- [14:01]
A
A new house, you need to have credit. And then Gigi, like flips out because Gigi is up to the same Gigi things, which is. I guess I'll just segue us into Gigi. Before we get to mj, Gigi has decided that she wants to buy a new house. She's talking like she Wants to be independent, but she's not doing anything to be independent. And they are all obsessed with talking about her bad credit. They all love talking about it. And I actually think that's so funny. They're like, do you see?
- [14:28]
C
Gigi has, like, bad credit.
- [14:30]
A
She's not going to be able to buy a house. And they're like, oh, my God, she has bad credit. They like talk about it at a party. And then MJ's like, Gigi, just so you know, before you got in here, we were all talking about your bad credit.
- [14:41]
B
They're all still up to their same old nonsense. You know, MJ is still like, yeah, we're talking about your terrible credit. By the way, MJ was wearing like a lace up the front pleather ice skating S and M dress to it, like a family dinner or whatever. I was like, what is this show? I was cracking up. So, yeah, Reza is the realtor for Gigi. And Gigi's like, well, I need to stop living off my father. It's so hard. And of course she's not going to. And she's looking and cannot find a place because first of all, everyone thinks they're going to move to the Valley and it's going to be cheap. That is just not the case. It's still Los Angeles. You're still going to be paying out the ass. And so she wants like $15 million homes, and that's just not going to happen.
- [15:22]
A
Bedroom. She wants a six bedrooms. One bedroom for her child and the other bedrooms for her clothing. And basically, Reza and mj, everyone's saying to her, look like, babe, you got to downsize. Like, you just, you want a new.
- [15:34]
C
House, be checking credit. Okay? Be running credit checks.
- [15:41]
A
So Gigi's big retort is Steve Harvey says, one time in your life, you need to buy a first class ticket, so you know what to aspire to. I'm like, yes. And she's like, that's why I'm not going back. That's why I'm getting this house. I'm not going to downsize because Steve Harvey said I should get a first class ticket. I'm like, yeah, but Steve Harvey doesn't say you should buy a mansion and always stay at that level. The point is you're supposed to taste the good life and then work for it after you've had your taste. You're just basically saying, I, I'll take everything in the store, please. I'll have the full tasting menu. Okay?
- [16:17]
B
Like, the big difference here is that Steve Harvey has a Job. Okay? He's not talking about what your dad is going to buy you. He's not like, once your dad buys you a first. First class plane ticket, you never let him buy you anything less. I'm just like, yeah, I'm not going to downsize. Steve Harvey said it's like, oh, my God.
- [16:33]
A
She's completely. She's completely misconstrued that piece of advice there. So she is doing. And also, honestly, Gigi is so exhausting.
- [16:41]
C
I will.
- [16:42]
A
I will say that, like, it's. It's fun to see Gigi back, but I. I'm immediately exhausted by her. Her. Just her. Her tantrums, the way she storms out. I'm like, oh, gosh. Yes, this is. This is Gigi again. It's like, it's not. It's not always the most entertaining for me to watch.
- [17:05]
B
Yes. One of her biggest story, you know, she's already wanting to murder half the cast and, like, jump on them. They go, have a girls night to have. You know, it's like, oh, my God, we're on a new show. We're girls. Let's go have a girls night. They go, the girls all hate each other. There's like two girls who like each other. They kind of hate Gigi. They really hate Gigi. Gigi hates them. It's not gonna go well. One of them is a jeweler. Well, she's a jewelry designer. And Gigi was missing some diamonds in her ring, so she gave her this ring to fix it. And then the lady just never gave back the ring. And so Gigi's like, she still has my ring. And that's like a really. Like, what is she trying to do to my ring? And this huge thing where she's going to beat this woman over a ring. And it's like, girl, you didn't pay for that ring anyway. Come on now.
- [17:48]
A
You didn't pay for it anyway. And so the whole thing is. So this. This actually takes us to sky, who I actually love. I think sky, for me, is a breakout star. Sky and Bombshad. And so sky is the jewelry designer. And what we then find out is that sky, she's a designer, and she's like, I am design. I'm a designer. I don't do fix it. I don't do that. I did. I did her a favor by just welcoming the ring into my life and giving it to a friend. But I'm not. I don't fix things. So she's like, whatever. So she finally. They keep on hounding her, like, are you Bringing the ring. Are you bringing the ring? At the ring coming? Is the ring coming? So she finally brings the ring back, and then Gigi's like. I took one look at it, and I could see she was using fake. She was using the wrapper off of a Godiva chocolate. That's. She basically accusing sky of, like, doing some shitty thing. And I looked at both pictures, and I swear I could not tell any difference between the. The revised ring and the original. And I'm not saying that they're. I'm not saying that Gigi was wrong. I'm just saying to my untrained eyes, it looked. They looked exactly the same. Yeah.
- [18:50]
B
Especially for a free job. Like, shut up. So this lady sky is, I think, my favorite, too, because she seems evil. She gives off total evil vibes. Snotty. She hates everybody. She hates. She hates the Valley. She hates her husband. She's married to an old dude. Bombshot is an older man, and they met when she was pretty young. So she's one of those people who marries someone really old and then starts dressing like a first lady. Like, she does her hair. Like, if you look at this picture of her, she looks like a first. It's first lady hair. And so she's like, well, I'm first lady, too, because I do my hair like this because I'm married to an old man. It's like, oh, no. So, you know, she's going to be an asshole. She's like, I'm married to an old person, so I'm going to get the attitude of somebody who's earned it. Like, they are old, but she's not old. And so it's not really working.
- [19:36]
A
She hates crumbs on the counter. I think she yells at about six different people for, like, no, no, no, no, no, no crumbs on the counter. She. They also have these two twins that I love. Their twins, they are so cute. It's like they're like fraternal twins. It's a boy and a girl, and the girl has this little Bob. It's like Dora the Explorer Bob. And I don't know why I love these two twins, but their whole thing is that she sleeps in a different room from Bombshot because he snores really loudly. And apparently he does a thing where he. He gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when he gets back into bed, he, like, cascades down and spreads out in a big and annoying way, and she hates it.
- [20:14]
B
He just, like, plops down in the middle of the Bed breathes right in her face, and she's like, no, no, no. And she's best friends with this other lady whose name is Tannen. Tannin. Or Tannen. I forgot how you pronounce it. And I only watched this 10 hours yesterday. Sorry, I don't know how to pronounce your name yet. Tannen. So she's best friends with Tannen, and they have the most incredible bond because they have that thing in common that's so hard to find, but once you have it, you're bonded for life, and that is the hatred of your husband. They both hate their husbands, and so they're, like, best friends, and they're like, fuck our husbands. They go travel together. They both. They both. Doesn't she also sleep in a separate room from her husband?
- [20:58]
A
They both sleep in separate rooms. But, like, she and her husband have a really fascinating backstory. And, like, as it starts to kind of reveal itself, you're like, oh, this is. This is interesting. Which is that Tannen and Greg were both, like, partiers back in the day. They were like. There are, like, those people that you see at clubs. Like, you know, they're in some sort of relationship. They probably, like, do coke in the bathroom. They have sex behind the dumpster. You know, they're just like, party. They're in, like, a party relationship, but they're together. But they like each other. But what we find out in the second episode is that they go to D.C. to visit someone, and they're picked up by. By, like, this guy, and they're in two cars because they're with a group, because they're probably just. There's probably a bunch of people that go party in D.C. for the weekend, and the guy. So Tannin's in one car, Greg's in the car behind, and. And Greg is watching his. His girlfriend's car, and he's like, wow, this guy driving is, like, crazy. He needs to stop driving like that. And the guy, like, at that moment, the car flips, and she basically comes extremely close to death. Like, she has to have a brain surgery where normally, like, you would lose ability to talk, etc, and. And he was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. But I love this woman. And so to me, it seems obvious that this great accident may have, like, accelerated the timeline of their relationship, or it was like. It was like. It provided a certain amount of closeness, this trauma. But now they're kind of in a point where they. I think they realize they don't have as much in common as anymore, and they are trying to navigate that they.
- [22:30]
B
Just don't like each other. I mean, they flat out seem to just not like each other at all. He's like a, you know, he's okay looking, like, he's not bad. But he. In his mind, he's like this stud, you know, and he's like, oh, I could have had any woman I wanted that kind of thing. Like, I mean, maybe it wouldn't have worked out with her, but we got trauma bonded, so it is what it is. And she's like, yeah, I never would have given this guy the time of day. Like, I never would have thought any more deeply of him had I not, you know, had brain damage, basically, is what she says.
- [22:58]
A
So it's interesting.
- [23:00]
B
And so. And they, you know, brain damage.
- [23:03]
A
I found this man, like. Like a. Like a partner.
- [23:07]
B
Yeah. And the. The vibes they give off at first are like, well, you know, she seems like. She seems, like, kind of cold to him, you know, and. But then you find. Then you see him in a scene together and you see why. So they have the scene where she makes dinner, and he's like, wow, look at you cooking. Remember when you used to cook? So it starts off like that, which is like, fuck you. Okay. So, yeah, they're having this nice dinner and he's like, so have we talked about you, like, going out? Because, like, you go out with your friends all the time. And I really don't like that because you're putting yourself in a position where you can meet dudes and you can get numbers from dudes. And I just don't like that. That's not respectful in a marriage. And she's like, okay, we're gonna have this discussion again. Like, okay, we. You don't mind going out and you literally get numbers from girls that call you at 2 in the morning. And he's like, oh, no, that's just because I was being nice to some girl. Like, we were out. I was out with my friend, so I was nice to a girl. So what? So she called me. So for him, it's funny and. Okay. But then she still has a life with his girlfriends and he's gonna try and quash it because she could get numbers from people. So, yeah, he's already a hypocrite and a piece of shit. So he's already pissed me off in this. So I'm totally. Team Tannen divorcing this goober of a team Tannin.
- [24:16]
A
I really like Tannin. She seems very smart. She is like a. She's. She's a CEO of A company. And she's also launching her own skin care something another, which is I'm wondering if they're setting us up for a Tannin and sky rift. Because they start the season being like, we are so close. Which is always the kiss of death. And the first, like, crack is that Tannen brings over her product for sky to use, and sky takes the product and rubs it all over her dog. And Tannen's like, thanks. This is a national platform and you're supposed to show up how good this is and you put it on your dog instead. But yeah, I think this guy like Greg, like, we've seen worse pigs, you know, in the world, especially on Bravo. But I thought it was so hypocritical. As he tells the story, he's like, you can't go out because I don't want guys to get your number. But when the story that he tells is that there's literally, he's like, well, I had to be nice. This girl, she asked for my number and then she texted him at 2 in the morning saying, are you up? And he's like, no, but I showed it to you. Remember I showed it to you. Be like, isn't this funny? It's like. And she. And I what I liked about 10 and was like, I wasn't upset about that, honestly. I just am upset that you don't think that I also have that same, like, sense of judgment, which is where his right.
- [25:26]
B
Because he was getting himself all worked up and pissed off at her. And he's like, oh, really? So now it's a problem that that girl texted me even though I showed you. And she's like, no, the point is it wasn't a problem. It's a problem for you that I'm going at. You know, she's trying to explain it and she's like, listen, our communication. She says at some point something like, yeah, we have communication points because I don't want to communicate with you. And I'm happy not communicating with you. Just that honesty. And I don't feel bad for him because if this is how he communicates, it's like, that's. His communication is like accusing her of shit that hasn't happened. So. And fuck this guy. And you know, you're right when you say he's not really that bad in the scheme of. In the whole map of Bravo Men, like, is he the worst? No, but this is. This is episode. This is episode Great one. And she tries to communicate with him.
- [26:18]
A
Yeah, she tries to communicate with him and he like, kind of shuts her down. I mean, this guy's basically he. You know, you look at him and I. I'm imagining that this guy was like a club promoter at some point. You know, you look, we've seen so many of these guys around Hollywood. They're like, oh, I'll get you. I'll get you a table. I'll get you a table. You want somebody like. Like, I just don't feel like he's gonna. This is gonna be a high caliber person here.
- [26:41]
B
I love her. He's in a position where he probably feels emasculated because she makes all the money. We find out because he's in. There's like a guy scene. All the guys get together and invite Adam for whatever reason. Adam's like, oh, my God, doctor, those dogs are too big.
- [26:55]
E
I can't with big dogs. Please, please keep the dogs away from me.
- [26:58]
A
I'm.
- [26:58]
B
Go home. Fucking go home. The dogs are like. To you.
- [27:02]
A
That was me. I was like, the dog's licking me.
- [27:04]
B
He's like, no, no, just get out of my job. It's a guy's night, of all places. So anyway, there's a guy's night and they're talking about how Tannen and Sky go on vacation together. And Reza or one of the guys.
- [27:18]
C
Is like, come on, Greg, why aren't you going in? Like, vacation? You should do that too. Like, yeah, you go out on vacation.
- [27:24]
B
And he's like, no, it's her money, so she should get to spend her money how she wants. We find out that she's kind of making all the money and she's also going out. She's maintained her own life, and I like her attitude. It's like, okay, I'm married to an asshole, but I still have my girlfriends and I'm going to still live my life. And he's not liking it, but dealing with it in the way of like, you're a slut and I can't trust you because you're probably fucking other dudes is not really the way to keep your woman, you dumbass.
- [27:54]
A
There's also a small wrinkle in this, which is that they used to travel and do things together, but then when sky came along, she started hanging out with sky instead of Greg. So I wonder if there's some sort of festering jealousy there. But yeah, at that guy's night, they were, like, all gathered around this, like, fire pit. And I actually, I think we talked about this on the trailer breakdown, which is that they, like, had, like, a foot up on the fire pit. And I was like, get your foot down. You're gonna catch yourself on fire the entire time. I was like, could you please step away from the fire? You were too close. Big dog. Big dog.
- [28:23]
B
Oh, yeah, I'm a foot on the fireplace kind of a guy. I've ruined many the bottom of many of many the bottom of parachutes that way commercials.
- [28:33]
A
Here comes one right now. We also in that fire pit scene, that's when Amir shares about his past that he was actually formally married to someone. And then she died of cancer. And it's like really so sad. I think I teared up when you talked to someone.
- [28:53]
B
So this is, this is the couple, Amir and Natasha. They're like the nice couple, like you said earlier. And she's like really bubbly. Nice. She was a dental assistant. And after his wife died, his friend was like, I'm hooking you up with my dental assistant. And he's like, I was never so happy to get my teeth done. And she's like, yeah, I mean, it totally worked out because I was so sick of dating. I literally told my that day, the next guy who comes along, I'm marrying him. And then this guy came along, so I married him. So I even have the post it note that I wrote his number on. I was like, this is the saddest love story ever. Because she's like, well, I'm settling. I got sick of waiting. And he's like, well, my true love is dead.
- [29:36]
A
So it's. I think he's sort of like a cat.
- [29:40]
B
I worried for that.
- [29:42]
A
My, my. I'm just worried that she's going to break. I think she's going to crack because what we know about her, she's very regimented and she's like a clean freak. She hates germs. Obviously. She kept like the post note. She's like very much like, this goes here and this goes here and this goes here. And I'm worried that at some point she is literally just going to like, like she's going to show up at someone's house and her hair is going to be a mess and she's going to be like, ran out of handy wipes. And he'll be like, okay, Natasha, like, I think she's going to like have a very serious break.
- [30:14]
B
Yeah, so that would make sense. So they go to. Let me see, what should we talk about? So they have a girls night, basically. We mentioned this earlier. So they have a girls night. Now that we've talked about who all the ladies are. So they Meet up. And sky is just complaining about how much the Valley sucks because she made them all go to Santa Monica. MJ and GT are like, why would we have to come all the way to Santa Monica? Anybody who lives in LA and does not live in Santa Monica knows you don't want to go to Santa Monica. It's far. It's like a different world. It's a different city. I don't want to go over there. It's too far to get there. It's. There's nowhere that's better to eat. Like, why. Why do we have to come here?
- [30:55]
A
And she's like, it's also colder and mistier. It's just, like, the worst.
- [31:00]
B
It's just a totally different vibe. You know, it's a beautiful place and people love it. I mean, if I lived there, I would go out there, but I don't want to drive for an hour and a half in traffic to go to some chamber. Like, I don't care.
- [31:11]
A
It's so annoying. It's so annoying.
- [31:13]
B
So they're already annoyed that they have to go there. And Sky's like, well, you know, we. We go to Santa Monica because, you know, it's not the Valley. And the Valley is terrible. It's hot. It's disgusting. The restaurants are terrible. She lists all the things that are wrong with the Valley. It is so funny. She has utter disdain for the Valley. And they are so pissed that she's, like, dissing the Valley. And they're like, oh, God, this girl's so snotty. And I can't believe that, you know, she won't even eat in the Valley.
- [31:41]
E
Like, get over it, bitch.
- [31:42]
B
You know, especially Gigi. So Gigi wants to kill this chick already. So we see a team. We see a team form, you know, we see the ladies who hate their husbands and travel together versus the OGs.
- [31:54]
A
Yeah. And honestly, like, I really. I really like the sky and Tannin relationship. I'm kind of, like, rooting for them, too.
- [32:03]
B
And I wouldn't go up against them, especially Sky. I think Gigi thinks this is going to be easy because they're new and she's got the audience on her side, but she's Gigi, so she does not have the audience on her side. And this sky lady is, like, so cranky and snotty and hilarious that I think she's going to get the audience on her side real quick.
- [32:22]
A
I mean, I'm on her side. That's. That's.
- [32:24]
B
We love a mess.
- [32:25]
A
That's all that matters. We love A mess. We love. I love a naughty. And I feel like tannin's an too. And I also feel like tannins. I also feel like sky and tannin are really smart. I mean, famous last word. It's always scary whenever you make that declaration about someone on Bravo, but I do feel like they're smart, so I'm always going to get behind a smart lady. But I think that Gigi actually kind of sticks out on this cast because it feels like, more or less, everyone is kind of like an adult. And I feel like Gigi is still acting like an adolescent in a weird way. Yes, she has a kid. Yes, she is, you know, doing. She's trying to be an adult, but, like, there's just, like, a different vibe. And, like, I don't know, I just. So I feel like maybe that's why I'm just not as compelled to watch Gigi because she's. She's sort of cosplaying as an adult, but I'm not. I don't really feel like she is an adult necessarily.
- [33:13]
B
Gigi is like a Valley member, but she's like one of the guys from the Valley, you know, like, never grows up, you know, making terrible decisions all the time, coming up with multiple excuses for their bad decisions. Like, she's like a Tom, she Schwartz, or a Jax or one of those guys from the Valley. And so, I mean, it still kind of works for the theme.
- [33:34]
A
There's also, by the way, a really interesting tonal difference between this Valley and the Other Valley. The Other Valley is more like where Gigi would fit in, which is people who are now, like, they're, you know, in their 40s or late 30s, who are grown out of, like, the party. Party child section of their lives, but they're still. They haven't quite given it up, but they're now kind of trying to figure out what it's like to be an adult. But this show, it kind of feels like everyone is an adult. It feels like people like, there's professionals. It's not that the others are not professional, but these people who are more on career paths, etc, and they're just as, like, a different vibe. It just feels like people who are a bit more mature and not.
- [34:17]
B
Yeah, they don't seem to be struggling to hold on to the youth part of it. They're like, we moved to the Valley because we want to be older. Like. Yes. You know. Yeah, right.
- [34:25]
A
Like, where if you compare it to, like, you know, Kristen and Luke. Right. Kristen, Luke are trying to be adults, but, like, Kristen is like, I got my T shirt line. And then you have like, you know, Bombshad doing. I don't know what Bombshad does, but he has an office with bricks. Is he a brick interior office? I'm like, wow, he's a grown up. Yeah, he has an office, by the way. He has an office with a desk. A desk and a computer. So one's not better than the other bed. Just. It's interesting thing to point out that there is like, definitely a tonal shift between the two.
- [34:55]
B
Right. So one of the characters we have not talked about is the new Mike. The new Mike Shoe Ed, who we thought might be the gay.
- [35:04]
C
He was the gay.
- [35:05]
A
Yeah.
- [35:07]
B
And I'm not convinced after watching the episode that he's not the gay. But we meet this guy and obviously I don't mean that as a criticism. I just. The shoes. I'm just gonna say it's the shoes. So we meet this guy, he's also named Reza. So I don't know what we call him.
- [35:22]
A
Like Reza Jackson.
- [35:25]
B
Reza J. So Reza J. Comes in and he's cute, he's very good looking. He is a ladies man not ready to settle down. He has the typical scenes of talking to family where they're like, when are.
- [35:38]
C
You gonna have a baby? When is it time to get married?
- [35:41]
B
You know? And he's like, in Persian, in Persian culture, you've really got to get married real quick or you're worthless.
- [35:45]
C
And, well, I guess I'm gonna try and settle down.
- [35:47]
B
So we've got that whole hacky thing of like the guy who's going to pretend that he's going to try and settle down even though he's now on tv. So huge doorways of vulva have opened up to him and he will not be settling down anytime soon, but he's going to pretend. So we've seen this a million times on Bravo. He's a fairly cute representation of the storyline, but he does have solid crazy eyes. The man has psycho eyes.
- [36:15]
A
Yes. I think he is. He is hiding something under there. It's nice. This is a nice pivot from Mike because Mike was always kind of like a grease. A grease ball guy that like he would always be sort of skeeve you out. And this guy is definitely no another boy, but he's also blatantly that. And like, I found him to be relatively inoffensive. What I did not like was, well, in the first episode, Amir and Natasha have like a dinner party and everyone has to come over, take off their shoes. And so Natasha has invited over her neighbor to meet Reza J. And so, like, within, like, three seconds, Resa J. And this girl are, like, making out at the table in front of everyone, which is crazy. So you're like, oh, okay. Well, it looks like we made a match. And then the second episode, they go on a date.
- [37:00]
B
Well, they weren't making out right. They were just kind of.
- [37:02]
A
They were very flirting. They were like, yeah, yeah, they were. So then in the second. The second episode, they go on a date, and she just starts busting his balls, which is great. I really like this for her. And she's basically saying, like, are you a fuck boy? Are you not a fuck boy? And he's like, I'm not a fuck boy. I'm just. I'm promiscuous. I was like, oh, that's. Thank you for, like, that's a great. That's. Is this supposed to be, like, the. The. The mollification of. Of a fuck boy? Like, no, no, no. It's much better than that. I'm just promiscuous like that.
- [37:32]
B
Yeah.
- [37:33]
A
I feel like you could have had. You could have rebranded yourself a little more strongly than.
- [37:36]
B
Much hotter. Much hotter.
- [37:38]
A
Yeah.
- [37:40]
B
So he's like, whoa. Well, that one didn't really work out. Not gonna see her again. Who dodged a bullet. I was like, yeah, she. She dumped you immediately, sir. But the night that you're talking about, they all get together, and it was a little tense because. Is this when they were coming at Gigi about her credit?
- [37:58]
A
The first night was. Yes. That's when they were all talking about, like, how's she gonna move? She doesn't have good credit. Like, she needs to downsize.
- [38:05]
B
Yeah. So MJ immediately tattletales, and she tells us that she tattletaled to Gigi because she wants Gigi to know that she's on her side in this situation. She basically wants to start this off, like, I'm not gonna fight with Gigi this first season. I can't take it. Gigi's too hard. And I'm gonna just placate Gigi in this situation. But she does start the fire with Gigi and everyone else. And Reza sticks to his guns. He's like, what do you want from me? I'm just trying to help you. Like, you need to make some kind of effort here. But now Gigi's mad at everyone, and she's like, why aren't they even talking? And so she starts throwing great people at the couple. And that girl's like, that girl was mean. She Was, like, throwing grapes at me, and he's like, yeah, I think that's just how Gigi is. So, yeah, we're gonna have to do.
- [38:46]
A
Definitely did not, like, help the tone. Like, she did not, like, control the tone, because, you know, like, I think a situation like that, you sort of, like, let GG Ease into the party and then say, hey, just so you know, we were talking about your credit, and we are a bit concerned. Is there, like, maybe we should. We can work with you and. And give you some advice, since we're all real estate professionals. But the fact that when Gigi walked in right away and MJ was like, we were all talking about you. Gigi in defense mode.
- [39:12]
B
That's mj. So then what was the other night that they got together? So they had a boys night that was mostly uneventful, except we heard about the first wife passing away from that dude. And then there was another night they had, like, Persian night, Right? Is this the other night that they all got together? So they had another dinner party where they all get together, and this time it's Reza's turn to make some mess. So they're like, so, what's up? I heard that you sleep separately from your husband. And she's like, yes, I sleep separately from him. Because the story that we told before, he comes back into bed at three in the morning and takes the whole bed, breathes in my face. It's disgusting. I got my own bed. And they're like, well, don't you sleep in a separate bed too, Tannen and whatever? So they're talking about that. And Rez is like, well, I would.
- [39:57]
C
Just like to say that you should never let your marriage get to the point, were you sleeping in other beds? Because that is the beginning of the path to divorce.
- [40:06]
B
And then everybody just gets. Everybody just gets really quiet, and they're like, oh, my God.
- [40:13]
A
And of course, we know already one of the marriages has crumbled. And that, of course, is MJ and Tommy. And so what we're seeing is their relationship falling apart, which is very sad, but also, like, basically, Tommy is like, he's too much. He's too much. He. You know, there's. There's. There is, like, Tommy's a fascinating character because he is, like, a very sweet guy underneath it all. We can all see it. And you sort of do feel like he really loves his family and. And mj, but you also see how he doesn't get out of his own way. And he just. He does joke too much. It makes too many barbs and passive aggressive barbs. This is the way, like, a lot of straight guys just communicate, and it's not healthy at all.
- [40:52]
B
And, oh, yeah, gay guys, we're totally good about not making sarcastic barbs constantly.
- [40:58]
A
Well, it's not just about that, but, like, I think that, like, straight guys, like, communication sometimes can be. It just has a different vibe, you know? Whereas women are like, let's talk about this. Let's do this. And then gay guys were like, in the middle somewhere. But. But Tommy, he's like, a lot of. Like, a lot of the. A lot of the scenes of him are like, hey, your ass looks big. Get out of here. Okay? Scram. And then like, little baby sham's like, yeah, scram, Mom. And it's like, okay. It's like. And he's like. And you're like. Like, this isn't the best. And MJ's starting to pick up on that. And she's like, I don't love this. And she starts. And she tells her mom they're driving somewhere, and she's like, yeah, I don't love the way he talks to me. And she goes, well, you know, you can't teach an old monkey new trip tricks. And she's like, it's dog. Mom's like, no, no, it's monkey. I'm pretty sure it's monkey.
- [41:45]
C
It's monkey.
- [41:46]
A
You never know. It's Mercedes.
- [41:48]
B
Because MJ starts this whole show by being like, I'm leaving Tommy. Like, Tommy, like, I'm not staying in this relationship. Why the fuck would I? Okay, look, here's the thing. If you asked me, like, Ronnie, from an outside perspective, what's wrong with my relationship with Tommy? Here's my answer. You married Tommy? What the fuck did you think was going to happen? He said his vows in farts. Yeah, I mean, when you married fucking Tommy, bro, like, that's what happened. And I can understand getting absolutely sick of it because he is non stop.
- [42:19]
E
He's like, let's go to a date night. Let's go to a fucking date. Date night. Yeah, you look pretty good. All right, let's go. Oh, man. This is the waiter. Yeah, yeah, give me something that's not gonna make me all over your restaurant. How about that?
- [42:31]
B
She's like, can we not. Can we not talk about diarrhea throw.
- [42:34]
E
It's like, ah, shut the up, stupid. All right, give me this thing. That was a shrimp cocktail. Don't you know how to reprobate? Morse code. Get the over it.
- [42:43]
A
And then he does go and take a Dump in the bathroom at the end of the Seventh Rate, which is a place I don't know if you've ever been there. I went to a wedding there once. It's a small bathroom, so I. I feel bad for anyone who had to go into that bathroom afterwards. And he comes, and he comes out.
- [42:55]
E
Like, yeah, took a major.
- [42:59]
A
Now, like, wow, this is a charming date night that you're having here, Tommy.
- [43:07]
B
But, yeah, she's spending the first two episodes, like, basically laying the groundwork for leaving Tommy. She's telling. She's telling the audience in every scene like, I'm out of here. Fuck this guy. And so she has this scene with her mom where she's like, you know, mom, I just. Just don't, like. I just don't, like, feel listened to. And I don't feel safe in my relationship with Tommy. And, like, the kids starting to. Baby Shams is starting to, like, smart off to me, too, because he's learning it from his dad. And we see a lot of examples of that, of the kid being like, what? Don't come, idiot.
- [43:35]
E
Dinner stupid. You do it, dummy.
- [43:37]
B
And she's like, oh, God. You know. And she tells her mom, well, I don't. I don't, you know, discipline him as much because I don't want to be like you, mom, you know, where everything I do is wrong. It's like, oh, please. Oh, mj. Oh, wow.
- [43:51]
C
So now you were saying you don't.
- [43:52]
B
Feel safe at Tommy.
- [43:53]
A
Come on.
- [43:54]
B
Wow, wow, wow. Get real, Mercedes. I was like, oh, my gosh.
- [43:59]
A
Yeah. I was like, yeah. Damn, Vita. But then Vita actually goes and sits down with Tommy. She takes Tommy to. To lunch, and she's basically saying to Tommy, like, she actually sticks up for Mercedes. She's like, you have to stop. You have to make this work. You have to stop joking around so much.
- [44:18]
E
She's like, what? I do everything for her. You only hear the Bob says. She says.
- [44:22]
A
She says the Bob.
- [44:23]
E
She's just like, you, Vita. It's like, I got a mini Vita on my hands. The only thing I don't have is a red lip stared me right in the face like the one I'm looking at right now.
- [44:31]
B
God, far, far fart. And she's like, but if you don't change her ways, she's going to leave.
- [44:38]
E
And he goes, then she should get a divorce.
- [44:39]
B
Okay, well, she's going to stupid. So that's. That's what you did. And you know, like, when I say, mj, you picked up Tommy like you did? I mean, I Think anybody who watches was like, what the are you doing? But, you know, there is a certain time in your life, and I think she was at it where she was like, it's time. I want to get married. I want to have a kid. And if this is the guy, you know, at least he's nice, you know, and it doesn't mean that just because you married him that for the rest of your life you have to put up with his. So good for her. And I heard that on their podcast.
- [45:07]
E
He was like, ah, women, they don't want to work anything out anymore.
- [45:10]
B
Oh, yeah, well, make one little tiny effort not to be disgusting, bro. I mean, geez, Seriously. So, yeah, I don't feel bad for him. It is so crazy seeing Baby Shams being a kid now like that with a personality and how he is turning into a little Tommy. I mean, all of that was pretty fun to watch.
- [45:32]
A
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is wild. But, yeah, this is. I mean, is this what Bravo is going to be doing now? When. When certain the young shows get too old, you spin them off into the Valley and then you watch all the relationships crumble? Yeah, that's what. That's basically what this is. Is that what, like, the city in the city is going to be like for Summer House, when they all go into the city, and then we're gonna watch Kyle and Amanda crumble and we'll watch. Well, there are no other relationships on that show. That's the funny part about the Summer House. Nothing is stable over there.
- [46:03]
B
Yeah. But I think, yeah, that's it. They're gonna keep their stars and just spin them off into other shows, which I like. I mean, it's. Thought this one was pretty good. I was solidly entertained for the two and a half hours. Great to have the OGs back and even better, honestly, to see the new cast, because I think they. They struck some gold there, so we'll just have to wait.
- [46:22]
A
Yeah, they found a good cast chemistry, and this is. This is the. This is the good pivot that they've been. They've been trying for so many years on Jaws to get more supporting players in there, and I think they. I think they did it now. I think it's. It feels like it's in a really good place. So they're doing good stuff over there. It's. It's a really fun show. And Bravo, I kind of feel. I think that right now everything in Bravo has been. Is really good, with the exception, like, Beverly Hills is. Is struggling. Southern charm is kind of struggling too. But still, even them, all these shows that struggle, it's still. I think Bravo's in a good place. I think it's all good stuff for us. We are lucky. We are hashtag blessed.
- [46:55]
B
Yeah, we are being fed. The kids say so. Really good. We'll be back next week with a full recap of the episode. We just wanted to kind of give a lay of the land today, but we will be giving the show full recap starting next week. Join us later today for some traders coverage as that just started. And if you want ad free, join us over on Patreon. And don't forget to go get your tickets for the golden crappies on sale now. We do that show February 27th, so join us us won't ya?
- [47:30]
A
Bye everyone.
- [47:31]
B
Bye bye.
- [47:34]
A
Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Allison block.
- [47:42]
B
Our way is the Amber way.
- [47:44]
A
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.
- [47:52]
B
Get on the right foot with car Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella Etchells. We never miss her call. It's Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.
- [48:04]
A
Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no Tricholas.
- [48:07]
B
Hava Nagila Weber.
- [48:09]
A
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey Sip some scotch with Jessica Trot. She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.
- [48:22]
B
Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisalino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.
- [48:38]
A
Aren't you glad It's Marianne Arens.
- [48:41]
B
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
- [48:44]
A
This is is living with Michelle Vivian.
- [48:47]
B
I love a y'. All. Olivia Williamson.
- [48:49]
A
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
- [48:51]
B
Yes, we canna It's Savannah.
- [48:54]
A
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
- [48:58]
B
Darn skippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.
- [49:04]
A
Lopez.
- [49:05]
B
Happy are we is Allison with an I? She's VV ip It's Amanda V. Ken lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
- [49:12]
A
Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.
- [49:15]
B
We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
- [49:17]
A
Let's get real with Caitlin o'.
- [49:19]
B
Neal. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
- [49:28]
A
Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.
- [49:31]
B
Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
- [49:33]
A
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish, My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.
- [49:40]
B
She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
- [49:43]
A
Let's get savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a wiz. It's Liz Sarthi, always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani.
- [49:55]
B
The incredible edible Matthews sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Roger. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.
- [50:04]
A
Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.
- [50:09]
B
We cannot tell a lie.
- [50:10]
A
It's Sarah tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.
- [50:22]
B
She ain't no shrinking violet. Cooter. We love you guys.