C (1:51)

There's a.

D (1:51)

Whenever I'm in New York, I get bagels from this specific place, and they always make a killer bagel. So today I was like, I'm ordering it. I saved it up all weekend. I ordered it and I got my bagel, and honestly, it was not a very good bagel. And I was like, how could you do this to me on Bagel Thursday on National Bagel Day? So I guess there's only one path forward, which is I guess I'll get another bagel from some time for another bagel.

C (2:13)

Well, you have business meetings today in New York, so why don't you just make them all at bagel places?

D (2:18)

I know. No, it's just an excuse so I can get another bagel tomorrow. That's the real key. We have a big day of recording.

C (2:25)

But tomorrow's not bagel day.

D (2:27)

Well, it's in the spirit of.

C (2:31)

No, I mean, you can't have a holiday made after your personal day and then be like, well, it's also bagel Friday, man. That's not how it works. Okay. Oh, tomorrow's Christmas, everybody.

D (2:41)

Just because. No, I'll say it's Greek bagel day tomorrow because, you know, there's always like Greek, like Greek Easter, you know, like it's like eight days later.

C (2:49)

That's true. Or you could do like bagel Hanukkah where it just goes on for like eight days or whatever it is.

D (2:54)

Yeah, yeah, I think that's. Well, it's, it's a very big back to back thing because today is National Bagel Day. Tomorrow is Sade's birthday. So I think, like, we can celebrate Sade with a bagel tomorrow, which, you.

C (3:09)

Know, the smooth wouldn't appreciate. You know what? I. I feel like Sade wouldn't appreciate a carb celebration because Sade keeps pretty in shape. But you know what? I'm knowing you and just. Yes, you. Yes.

D (3:23)

So luckily, I mean, well, Sade would want me to do something sensual for myself that would bring me joy and that would be having a bagel. But she herself would probably get like a little bowl of kind of like Japanese farm food. You know, like something like lovely and delicious that's, you know, like maybe something that involves like a kelp or I don't know, like, beautifully arranged. And that would be her bagel Thursday. And it wouldn't. Wouldn't be a bagel at all. In fact, she would actually tell people it's a bagel. She's like, well, it's my bagel. It's not a bagel. It doesn't matter.

C (3:55)

Sade's bagel.

D (3:56)

Is it a crime?

C (3:57)

Sade says a bagel is.

D (3:59)

Is it a crime to call this a bagel?

C (4:03)

Oh, gosh. Okay, everybody. Well, guess what?

D (4:07)

Guess what?

C (4:07)

It is time for Southern charm. But first, the golden crappies are on February 27th here in the glorious, glamorous Los Angeles, California, during award season. As it should be come to that. It's gonna be super fun. You can get tickets over ticket links@watchwalkcrappins.com you can also go to our link in bio on our Instagram. That's also where you'll find links to our Patreon. Our Amazon lives, which are every Monday at crappy hour is every other Monday at 5:30 Pacific Time, which is this. Coming Monday might have a special guest. So tune in. Won't say who it is in case they flake, but it should be fine. And then crappy's tickets. Also on Patreon is where you get bonus episodes. All of our video recaps, which we do every day. Now we're covering traders over on bonus and we have ad free listening now on Patreon. So go over there. Thanks to everybody who signed up over there. We sure love you guys. I'm just speeding through that, not because I don't care about those things, but because I care about you, the audience.

D (5:09)

Okay, thank you.

C (5:10)

And now is Southern charm day. Man. Congratulations to Vanita because Vanita got her. I mean, she had one week where she said, he is going to walk you like a leash on a dog and then dump you. And then Sally's like, how dare you? I want that to happen on my own after I get some chicks. And then she left. And then the very next week, I.

D (5:32)

Am actually mad at Vanita. I'm mad at Vanita. Okay. I mean, we've. We've trotted this out before. I think we've. I feel like we root for Vanita, but she's just not very good at this show. And it seemed like at the beginning of the season, she got the memo on how to be a reality star. You know, she stormed out of a party, but then she, like, she's been overdoing it and, like, she stormed out of this. Well, she actually. I would not say that she stormed. She didn't storm, but she left. She was breezy. It wasn't a storm. It was a breeze. It was like a light cloud in the sky. But she left this slumber party early. It's like, girl, you can't leave early like this because you missed the biggest told you so. She thought she had her told you so moment. She just had it. She just had to wait 20 minutes and she would have had the biggest told you so moment because it was like what she left on was so small. Like, she could have had so much joy and she could have gloated so hard, and she missed it. Nina, don't leave like that again. You don't know what spoils of victory. You could have had.

C (6:34)

Yeah, couldn't we almost have it all? But no, you left again. Stop leaving. Stop leaving. Vanita, stay and enjoy the fruits of your labor. That's what I say.

D (6:49)

That's right.

C (6:52)

Well, this episode is season 11, episode 7. It's called Foul play, and it's spelled F O W L. You guys, I was going to call this episode because it's my turn to title an episode, and I was going to call it the Death of the Pick Me Chicks. But.

D (7:11)

That'S so dramatic. I love it.

C (7:13)

But I didn't want people to think I was calling all the women on the show Pick Me chicks, you know, because they'd see the title and be like, oh, my God, that's not cool. They're not pick me and not get that I was talking about the little chicks that Sally bought. So I didn't go with it. But I just wanted to talk about a stupid. It's like, slump part slumber party or pajama drama or something. Pajama drama. I think pajama drama. Which is, you know, kind of lame, but whatever.

D (7:42)

Done like. Well, I wish there was some sort of, like, book moment because then it could be chick lit. But there was. But there's. That doesn't make sense. The lit. Who cares? Unless they're get. Well, they're sort of getting drunk. No, it doesn't work.

C (7:57)

Yeah.

D (7:57)

White chick.

C (7:58)

Chick lit. Chick lit. Oh, yeah. That would have been funny if somebody got wasted. But, yeah, whatever. So it's called foul play, which I really like. And chick fil A. Wait, what is that?

D (8:13)

Chick for chick.

C (8:15)

Chick fil A. Chick for chicken.

D (8:19)

For late chicky. We could also use chicken. But chicks. Well, you know, we're gonna. I think pajama drama is probably where it's at.

C (8:29)

I think. Yeah, that's. That's just all I have. That's all I have got in me. So Sally is at her house and she's got her friend Riley over, and the dogs are trying to run out the gate. I'm rooting for the dogs.

D (8:42)

Yeah.

C (8:43)

Because I feel like Sally probably takes. She probably talks to the dogs too much about her relationship. Like, it's natural to talk to your dog, you know? My dog knows, which. I mean, dogs can't talk. So thankfully. Thankfully. Because, God, he's got a lot of dirt. But I talked to the dog about everything, and my life is pretty boring. I'll be like, God, you know what I'm really craving Hostess donuts. Why? Why am I craving that? And he just looks at me like I would just like a pretzel. Like, anything. Literally anything. Drop a booger on the ground, I'll eat it. What do you. What privilege do you have to get hostess donuts? You know? And then I order some, and he just sits there and watches me eat them. And I'm like, but they're chocolate. You can't. I mean, a dog's Life is hell. So Sally's double dog life has got to be hell. They just hear about boys all day. Like, shitty, shitty boys.

D (9:29)

I know. It's just got to be exhausting. And she. She probably, you know, because she is that friend, that girlfriend who just yammers on about the boys. Well, I really like Craig and I think he, like, really likes me, but he hasn't made a move on me yet. But, like, I think if we're just, like, getting close there and maybe I should just tell him that I like him. I mean, it's 20, 26. A girl can say what she wants to say. And the dogs are like, just, honestly, Hostess Donut, come on. Like, just drop it on the floor for me. I don't really care about your boy problems. Exactly.

C (9:56)

You know, that's why I'm rooting for the dogs to run. You know, I'm like, run, little wiener dogs. Run, little wide wiener dogs. Keep running.

D (10:05)

The spirit of Storm and Bambi are alive in these dogs. That's a reference to Kyle Richards dogs that are always trying to escape into a greater Encino.

C (10:14)

I block that. I block everything Kyle Richards out of my brain.

D (10:18)

Like, who's that?

C (10:20)

Stormy Daniels? But Sally is. Sally is having a really sad episode. And I almost felt bad for Sally, but I decided not to. So she is. She has ordered, like, a chicken coop off Amazon or something. Probably not Amazon because you had to use actual screws. Where did it come from?

D (10:43)

You can get, like, a house on Amazon. I saw an influencer do it once.

C (10:47)

But you can't even say I was considering doing that. Have you ever considered getting, like, a little house on Amazon that you put in your backyard?

D (10:55)

This person got a house. They got a house. They got like a. Like a prefab house that they ordered on Amazon. I swear to God, I saw it.

C (11:05)

Is it nice? I don't even know who the influencer is. And I'm influenced. I want a house.

D (11:11)

It was like, you know, it's like one of those, you know, like, it's sort of like, rectangular, and it was fascinating. I was still confused as how to. How we got that on Amazon, but, like, I definitely saw that. I mean, we'll put it on our Amazon Live next.

C (11:25)

We should. We should do an Amazon Live. We should get houses from Amazon Live. Come on.

D (11:30)

Yeah, we just need a plot of land and some plumbing. But, you know, that's pretty easy in la, right?

C (11:36)

Dude, I just went to Amazon and I typed in house and the house came up like a real house. Well, it's A gazebo. No. And then a purple. A sunroom. Patio came up. Backyard discovery belt. This is an Amazon life. We'll do this another day, but that is fascinating. I want an Amazon house. Okay. So anyway, the point is, Sally got a little chicken coop, and she's putting it together with real screws. I mean, chicken coops have not graduated to the little L wrench, you know, technology, which is crazy. So you have to use real screws. Sorry, everybody. Who gets chicken coops. And she is building a chicken coop because she wants to get chicks, because Craig mentioned that he wants chickens in his yard. So she figures if she gets chickens in her yard, then Craig will have to come over and be, like, the dad of the chickens, and then they'll fall in love, and then they'll be together forever. That's not a good plan. Chickens die young. And also, you kill chickens and eat them. I mean, it's just not very romantic. That's what I'm gonna.

D (12:35)

This is one of the saddest things we've ever seen in the history of Bravo. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. As does the kids say, Vanderpump rules. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. This is really a sad, sad moment. You know, Sally, last year, I felt. Seemed like an empowered young lady. I'm. She's still empowered, but I don't know. I felt like she wasn't. So pick me. And this year, I just find her to be very sad. And the fact that she is investing in chickens pretty much solely so that Craig will go with her to pick out the chickens, and, like, hopefully she's gonna win Craig over with chicken determination, because Craig said at one point that he'd like to have chickens in his backyard, and so she's gonna have chickens to show that they have the same interest. I just think it's sad, especially because I don't think Craig has any interest in chickens. I think it's just like his. His chat GPT brain sensed that that was the answer. That was the thing that Sally needed to hear in that moment in order for him to be charming. Craig is not going to take care of chickens. I know. He's got bees. Chickens is just going to be a bridge too far for him. And now she's stuck with chickens. Three chickens.

C (13:43)

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

A (13:52)

Hey, it's Raj and Noah, and we're back with a new season of Am I doing it Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

B (14:00)

Because we're still doing a lot of stu wrong.

A (14:02)

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

B (14:11)

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

A (14:20)

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

B (14:27)

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

A (14:37)

Lunch was great, but this traffic is awful.

C (14:40)

Um, can we stop at a bathroom? Are you alright? I keep having stomach issues after eating, like diarrhea, gas and bloating, abdominal pain and sometimes oily stools.

E (14:50)

Sound familiar? Those stomach issues may actually be a pancreas issue called exocrine pancreatic insufficiency or epi. Creon pancrolipase may help manage epi. Creon is a prescription medicine used to treat people who can't digest food normally because their pancreas doesn't make enough enzyme.

F (15:06)

Creon may increase your chance of fibrosing colonopathy, a rare bowel disorder. Tell your doctor if you have a history of intestinal blockage or scarring or thickening of your bowel wall. If you are allergic to pork or if you have gout, kidney problems or worsening of painful swollen joints. Call your doctor if you have any unusual or severe gastrointestinal symptoms or allergic reactions. Take Creon as directed by your doctor and always with food. Do not chew capsules as this may cause mouth irritation. Other side effects may include blood sugar changes, gas, dizziness, sore throat and cough. These are not all the side effects of Creon. Call 8639110 or visit CreonInfo.com to learn more. That's C R-O-NInfo.com I'm asking my doctor.

C (15:35)

About EPI and if Creon could help chickens. And it's just, you know, I just wish for her that because her friend says, so what prompted you to get a chicken coop? And she's like, oh, I wanted her to say something like, oh God I've always wanted chickens. I've always thought it would be so cool to have eggs right in my backyard and take care of these sweet animals who don't deserve to die for chick fil A. And, you know, just, like, really learn some empathy. And my friend mentioned chickens, and I was like, yeah, I've wanted chickens. I'm gonna get the chickens. This was assigned. But instead she doesn't. She's like, she has no self awareness. Or maybe she has all the self awareness in the world because she's. Her answer is, well, I was in Craig's hot tub the other night. We were talking about it, and he said if I got chickens, he'd go with me to pick out the chickens. So the next day, I ordered a chicken coop. It's like, oh, God, you are so pathetic. You are too gorgeous to be this pathetic. You know, I feel like you. When you're not, like, gorgeous like that, you think like, oh, my God, what would life be like if I was that gorgeous? Like, people would open doors for me, people would buy me stuff, people would get me chickens. You know, it's like how you think and then you see somebody that gorgeous, and then you see that it just leads to nothing. And then it's like, well, what's the point of just being insecure about not being so gorgeous? And then it's like, did I have wasted all my life being insecure?

D (16:56)

I think it's like a really good thing. Just a good motto in general is don't invest into the edge of the welfare of. Of other living beings just for the approval of a man. Okay?

C (17:13)

Unless it's a baby. Unless it's a baby. Now I say, if someone breaks up with you or is going to break up with you, then definitely that's the time when you're like, we should have a baby. You know?

D (17:24)

Okay, you know, what if it. If it's a celebrity, have that baby. Because then you can always. Then you're tied to that celebrity, to life, and that's very exciting. It's like, sorry, Guillermo del Toro, you may be a famous star now, but I have your child.

C (17:45)

Wow. I don't know what a guy.

D (17:47)

I actually meant to say Benicio del Toro, but somehow I wanted both very different. It's a different response. Shape of water, more like shape of association with celebrity culture. Pan's Labyrinth, more like the labyrinthine walls of getting to be connected to a celebrity. Okay. By the way, gosh. Hey, here's one from Cuba. Frankenstein, more like Baby Stein. Because now I have a Celebrity's baby. You can use that, Sally. Yeah.

C (18:27)

So it's sad. And so the friend thinks it's sad, too, but she won't say it's sad. And she's like, is Craig gonna name one of the chickens? And she's like, well, I do have a code to his house now, so. Yikes.

D (18:40)

First of all, you're gonna buy the chickens for this guy who doesn't care, and then you're gonna let him actually perform the sacred rite of naming one of the chickens? No. Like, don't let Craig name your chicken. Don't do that at all. That's.

F (18:54)

These are your.

D (18:54)

You only have three, so you get to name them. Okay. My friend Katie, who you've met. Katie, she used to have a chicken in high school, and the chicken's name was Sid. And I always thought that was the funniest name for a chicken. Who names their chicken Sid, the chicken Sid.

C (19:09)

I like that. I like that for a chicken name. You can't let Craig name him because he'll be like, Paige. Okay, Craig. No. There's not only one page in the world, okay? There can be other pages. Okay, fine, Craig. What should we name the other chicken? Naomi. Damn it, Craig.

D (19:30)

The third one can be named Natalie.

C (19:33)

All the girls I've loved before.

D (19:37)

So this episode. Chick me, chick me, girl.

C (19:42)

Chick me, girl. That's it.

D (19:44)

That's it. Girl.

C (19:45)

Chicken. Yeah, I'm gonna write it down.

D (19:47)

Thank you. Thank you, everyone.

C (19:48)

Chick me, girl. Here.

D (19:51)

I'll even put as if I just got a setting ovation from the audience.

C (19:54)

You did. You did. From me. His titles are sometimes very hard. Ben's the title queen, so. Chick me, chick me, girl. And then I'm gonna put a little star, and then when you read the star at the bottom, it'll say, bye, Ben.

D (20:06)

No, you don't have to. This is our.

C (20:09)

No, you're right. You're right. By Ben Mandelker Del Toro.

D (20:15)

Fueled by bagels.

C (20:19)

Happy bagel Friday, Happy. And then I'll put another star and say, happy bagel Friday, happy.

D (20:28)

Could you imagine if you trapped Guillermo del Toro with a baby?

C (20:33)

So Sally has the code to your house. That's terrifying. Okay, so now we go over to Charlie's gallery, and Craig arrives, and he's like, is there anyone here who looks like a really beautiful praying mantis? I want to talk to her. Charlie's over there selling a painting of a penguin. He's like, damn it. That was supposed to be my painting.

D (20:55)

Hey, Charlie, meet my assistant, who looks like Paige De. Sorbo with Republican hair. Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

C (21:02)

This poor guy, the plus one to every. What's the guy's name? Oh, my God, this poor assistant. Greg drags his poor assistant around and he's just so awkward. He's like, yeah, here's my. Here's my good friend what's his face? And he's like a gallery. Jack.

D (21:17)

Yeah, Jack, Jack, Jack. Oh, sweet Jack. I feel bad for him. I don't feel bad for him, actually. I just feel like he just has to deal with. So I do feel bad for him. I feel bad. That's about so much of Craig's. And he just seems like this sweet, lovely gay who's just, you know, he's like, just trying to have a baby with a celebrity, but he's trying to.

C (21:37)

Just make it through college or whatever, get his extra college credit, and he. He's not getting it. And, you know, I look at. I look at Jack and I just think, head in the sack. Because of lyrics. Jack, Jack, Jack, head in the sack. But I also think this poor guy doesn't even know that his life is about to revolve around chicks that he's going to have to raise because Craig. When Craig says, I'm going to get chickens, that means Jack is going to get chickens. Jack is going to have chicks hanging off of his nipples for the next, like, three years.

D (22:10)

Here's what I feel bad about for Jack. I feel like Jack, like, I feel like it's really hard to be a gay in Charleston. There are not a lot of options, as TJ has announced many times. And I just feel like his. His few joys will be. After a long day of work at Craig's, he gets to go home and watch Heated Rivalry. And, like, that's his special thing, just watching Heated Rivalry. And then he. The next day, he goes out with Craig and this, like, Sally is there, and then Sally are talking, and Sally's like, oh, my God, I've been watching Heated Rivalry. It is so good. I love it so much. And Charlie's like, oh, my God, I think that is so cute. I love that show. Let's talk about it. And he's like, but this was my thing, my gay thing. And now you basics have stolen it from me.

C (22:54)

Yeah, poor Jack just can't mind. And they're like, why do you have crust on your shirt?

D (23:02)

What'd you say?

C (23:03)

Nothing. So then I know what he said. Charlie's like, oh, I didn't know you were coming. And he's like, but you just Invited me. He does that Craig smile that's, like, so charming but also so punchable once, you know. Once, you know he's just tricking you and manipulating you. And she's like, well, I invited everyone. Well, I mean, no one, really. I mean, I don't know. Do you guys want some champagne? So you invited everybody or you didn't invite everybody? What is it, Charlie?

D (23:42)

It's so funny because Charlie is you. I thought, Charlie, remember that first episode? I was like, what a brat. But, like, she's, like, not a brat. And she's shockingly, I feel, like, uneasy and insecure. Which makes sense because we meet her mom. This is her second time. We have a conversation with her mom this episode. And so, like, now I understand why, but I thought she was gonna be strident and, like, I'm Charlie, and I get the man that I want. And she's like, well, I invited everyone. I mean, no one. I mean, I don't know. Oh, my God, I hope Sally doesn't see us.

C (24:14)

Oh, God, she's playing like a mini tuba. It's like, wait a minute.

D (24:21)

She's just gonna freeze in front of one of the paintings. Be like, I'm not here. This is just a painting of Charlie on campus.

C (24:28)

Yeah, I really like Charlie. I think she's beautiful. I think she's sweet. I think she. You know, she does think about other people's feelings, even though she's still going to go on this date. But, you know, I actually really like her, too, and that's why I want to protect her from Greg, because I know. And.

D (24:42)

And most importantly, Ronnie, we know one thing about Charlie. She's decent. Did you act decent on your date?

C (24:49)

Did you? Actually, yes. I know her mom's like, tell me, was there any intercourse, you indecent slobber commercials.

D (25:00)

Here comes one right now.

A (25:05)

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

B (25:14)

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

A (25:16)

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics of that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

B (25:25)

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

A (25:34)

Subscribe now and Listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

B (25:41)

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube, because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

C (25:49)

Love y'. All.

A (25:51)

Lunch was great, but this traffic is awful.

C (25:54)

Um, can we stop at a bathroom? Are you alright? I keep having stomach issues after eating, like diarrhea, gas and bloating, abdominal pain, and sometimes oily stools.

E (26:03)

Sound familiar? Those stomach issues may actually be a pancreas issue called exocrine pancreatic insufficiency, or epi. Creon pancrelipase may help manage epi. Creon is a prescription medicine used to treat people who can't digest food normally because their pancreas doesn't make enough enzymes.

F (26:20)

Creon may increase your chance of fibrosing colonopathy, a rare bowel disorder. Tell your doctor if you have a history of intestinal blockage or scarring or thickening of your bowel wall, if you are allergic to pork, or if you have gout, kidney problems, or worsening of painful swollen joints. Call your doctor if you have any unusual or severe gastrointestinal symptoms or allergic reactions. Take Creon as directed by your doctor and always with food. Do not chew capsules, as this may cause mouth irritation. Other side effects may include blood sugar changes, gas, dizziness, sore throat and cough. These are not all the side effects of Creon. Call 800-633-9110 or visit creoninfo.com to learn more. That's creoninfo.com I'm asking my doctor about.

C (26:49)

Epi and if Creon could help. So Craig's like, I think I'm happier when I'm sharing my life with someone. Have you? Oh, by the way, speaking of sharing lives, have you ever been to low country oysters? You just ride around a boat all day eating oysters. You want to go, we could be like, on the water together for a day.

D (27:13)

Jack's like, I thought you were gonna take me to lowcountry oysters.

C (27:17)

Huh?

D (27:18)

What?

C (27:18)

I'm the one who told you about that.

D (27:22)

You're gonna use my boat, My family's boat.

C (27:24)

Jack's like, wait a minute. That's my friend who owns lowcountry oysters. Do I get to come? You're like, no, no, gay. Go watch the hockey show.

D (27:35)

Go feed the bees.

C (27:37)

So.

D (27:39)

So Charlie's like, oh, together for like a day. Oh, no, Sally will kill me. He's like, yeah, I mean, it'll be good. Yeah, no, it'll be fun. Oh God. I guess it's just. It's so awkward to say, but the way that she looks at me and like, I don't know, she just smiles when we talk and like, there's something there I want to explore. Like, does her face do other faces? That's interesting to me.

C (28:06)

Okay, here's the way that she looks at you. And I can see it because I can read her face. Okay, this is how she looks at Craig. Well, he's cute, but God, he's dumb. Do I have to date him just because I'm on this TV show? I really do like being on this TV show. And if I don't date somebody from the TV show, how am I gonna stay on the TV show? God, is it him? Is he the only one available? Geez, don't like him. His waterfall countertops don't even go together properly. He does have a remote control for his fires in the backyard, which is cool, but isn't that kind of douchey? Oh, I don't know. He has a hot tub. But I did get white spots all over my skin last time I was in it. Like, you just see the look of. I could. But is it really what I want? You know, she's got that like cringe on her face. And that's what I'm reading.

D (28:58)

If only there were a pretty good looking guy who just had a nice steady profession like a lawyer or something like that and his own house and a little. Just a little bit of trauma in his life that I could fix. Oh well, I guess there's no one like that on the cast. Craig it is.

C (29:14)

Yeah, I know. Poor guy. But you know what they say about him. And by they, I mean Sally on Watch what Happens live. Yeah. Someone was like, why, why don't you go for Sally? I mean, why don't you go for that guy Watner or whatever? Like he's. He's cute and has a job. And why is, why are you. Why is everybody dissing him for the. And she goes, yeah, well, I don't think you guys know him yet. And it was actually nice to hear that because I was like, okay, good, he is going to be a douchebag. Because I hate this insecurity of not knowing if a guy on Southern Charm is going to be a douchebag. Like nine times out of ten they're a douchebag. So just make it happen. I don't I don't need the buildup. Just be a douchebag so I can hate you now.

D (29:54)

Is it possible, though? I don't. I really don't want to be an apologist for Whitner because it's. There's. There's just no upside for defending any man on Southern charm ever. But is it possible that, like, Whitner and Sally go on some date and he's like, yeah, I really like a driven woman. You know, I walk, I wake up at 4 in the morning, and I run around Charleston 10 times, and I come back, and then I do push ups, and then I do, like, I read just a. I read a book and then I go to work and I like a woman who. Who works hard like that, too, is interested in things like that. And it's like, just wants to have, like, do, like, go to. To go to lectures and stuff like that. And she's like, ew, he is so snobby. I don't like him at all. Like, is it possible that he just, like, they have a date and he makes, like, reasonable requests of what he wants? Not reasonable, but, like, just.

C (30:41)

Yeah, four in the morning is not reasonable. And by the way, I talked to Mama ten times in that. In that schedule.

D (30:48)

But, like, is it possible he says something that's more of like. Like an adult lifestyle kind of thing? Quote, unquote, adult lifestyle thing, where she's like, oh, he's snobby. Like. Like, I can imagine something like that happens. And then she's turned off, so I'm gonna.

C (31:03)

I can, too. I don't know that I'm really ready to trust Sally's judgment.

D (31:07)

Exactly. That's. That's the thing. She's bought three chickens for Craig. So now, like, when she says, just wait till you get to know him, he probably, like, Witner might just, like, read her for filth a little bit. Like, why did you get chickens for a man? That's a stupid thing. You're better than that. And she's like, I hate you. You know? So, like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Right now, I like Whitner, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna stay in a place where I like him until I have evidence that I shouldn't.

C (31:33)

Yeah, I agree, but it's like picking a murderer. You know when you watch Southern Charm and you're like, oh, my God, who's the douchebag?

D (31:39)

Yeah.

C (31:39)

You know, I mean, granted, it's like watching. Well, I don't want to say what movie it is, because it's a spoiler alert. Even though it's really old, but the one where they all did it, you know, but you know, it's like that. They're all the murderers. Yeah, those damn chunks.

D (31:58)

Cruella gets all the blame, but it's also her henchmen. I'd just like to add. So now we go to Madison's new house and. Oh, wait, are we Madison's new house?

C (32:07)

Sorry, no, no. First we go back to Sally's.

D (32:09)

Yeah. About to say.

C (32:10)

And she's still making the chicken coop. And she's like, am I gonna regret getting chickens? And her friend's like, no, it'll be an experience and maybe a lifelong experience. Oh, stop. For them. Stop. What kind of friend is this? He's like, no, maybe Craig's gonna marry you now because you got chickens. This girl probably goes home and laughs at Sally. She's like, haha. Trick Sally into falling in love again.

D (32:33)

Seriously. By the way, Ronnie, for the record, I did text you a listing for a house from. From Amazon.

C (32:39)

I saw it. I'm like, how big is 20ft? Is that big? Trust me.

D (32:46)

Speaking of which, Madison's new house, which is definitely not something you can order from. From a website, is a massive brick southern house. And boxes are around and Madison is still very pregnant and there's clothes all everywhere. And some professional organizers are there to help her sort stuff. And yes, I did look them up to see if they were the home edit, and they weren't. So that's that. That's the news.

C (33:10)

We watched one episode of that show that really stuck with you. That one.

D (33:14)

The Rainbow. I always get the rainbow.

C (33:16)

One episode of that show during the pandemic, like years ago and years ago, you still bring that one out. You really like that one, huh?

D (33:24)

It's not so much that I like it, it's just. It's stuck in my head because there. I've seen two organizing shows ever. One was the home edit. Well, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna count Marie Kondo. She's like her own thing. One was the home edit and one was this random ass show that was on hgtv. I don't know if it's still there where the lady was like, okay, are you a ladybug? Are you a grasshopper? Are you a cicada? And it was like, that was how you. She classified you in terms of how you need to organize.

C (33:51)

I'm a fly swatter. A bam. Get out of my house.

D (33:56)

So weird that Leanne Lockin was her first client.

C (34:00)

Welcome to the home edit, Leanne Lockin. Wait a minute.

D (34:04)

I'm editing you out.

C (34:06)

Wait a minute. I came into the bedroom you're supposed to remodel, and other people's clothes are in here. It's my bedroom now.

D (34:13)

We call that an edit.

C (34:16)

Possession is nine tenths of ownership. Back the off.

D (34:24)

Wait a second. All your stuff is in here? We call that a jump cut.

C (34:27)

Home at it. So, yeah, so we go to Madison's, and she's like, wow, look at me, 31 weeks pregnant. Still look like a Barbie doll. Ain't it hard, everybody? Look at all these clothes I can't wear. Everybody. And so they're putting her clothes in this closet. And she has a dog. Sorry, she has a what? Of course Madison has a dog named Karen. Oh, my gosh. Of course she does.

D (34:55)

So funny. That's so funny. Do you know that my Roomba's original name was Karen? Because that was like the. The Karen thing started in 2020, but our Roombas came in 2019. And so I named my Roomba Karen because I thought it'd be a funny name for a Roomba. And then. And then I changed it to Dolores when? Because it was part of an ad campaign that we did. So you named yours Ramona, so I named mine Dolores. It would also have a Bravo name. But then when the Karen thing got big, I was like, damn it, I should have kept my Roomba named Karen because I would have been ahead of the Karen wave.

C (35:29)

Isn't that crazy? Like, two out of three of our Roomba names have been canceled. I mean, the things that.

D (35:36)

And one one the traders. Spoiler.

C (35:39)

Oh, yes. That is a spoiler. God damn, Ben. So Logan is. She has professional organize over there, and they're organizing her stuff. And Madison's like, let's be honest. The fact that I have to dress my body right now, adapting to the weight of my legs, my stomach, my chest, it's grossing me out. I mean, listen, being five, three and being pregnant, it's not made for short girls. It's brutal. Down there is brutal.

D (36:04)

Yeah. So now she eats a cookie from Crumbl and then. Which I still have never had a Crumbl cookie, but I hear they're terrible. I've heard nothing but terrible things about the Crumbl cookies, but I've never had.

C (36:15)

One that's not dry. But, you know, I think it just depends. Cookies are rough because it depends on when you get the cookie. You know, La Brea Bakery is very famous here in la, and every time I get Something that's from La Brea Bakery. Like, at a grocery store, it's always dry and shitty. So the other day I happened to get one that was. Was fresh and delicious, and I was like, this is the most amazing bread I've ever had from a grocery store. And I was so proud of La Brea Bakery for finally making it in my mind, you know, because I was like, I've tried this for literally 16 years, and it's never worked. And I finally got one that was just perfection.

D (36:49)

Well, I think that if your brand is called Crumbl Cookies, we really can't complain about them being dry. I mean, it's just right there.

C (36:57)

Yeah. It's in the name. Yeah.

D (36:58)

You know when people tell you what their cookies are? Believe them. Them.

C (37:01)

Yeah. That's why when people ask me on a date and they're like, hey, you want to go out? What's your name? And I'm, like, hating you in a week. What's yours?

D (37:12)

You're like, my name is don't buy chickens for me. It's not going to work. It's not going to work as the middle name. So Brett is.

C (37:20)

You know what I think Madison needs right now in this scene? Some charisma. Let's get Brett on the phone.

D (37:25)

Yeah. Hi, Brad. And he's like, I like your overalls. I mean, yeah, it's all for the work I'm doing on the house. I mean, they're just talking about this house.

C (37:34)

That was funny, though, because she goes, it's all the work I'm doing on the house. And he goes, yeah, that's good. She goes, you know that was sarcasm, right? He's like, yeah, you gotta cry with all those betas. That man. That man is handsome, but he is a bump on a log.

D (37:51)

Yeah. A beautiful. A beautiful bump on a beautiful log.

C (37:55)

Truly.

D (37:56)

Yeah. Yeah, it's not. Well, okay, so she. Madison's talking about. She never thought she was gonna have another baby, but then Brett came along, and now she wants to have. Now they're having another baby, and she's excited and yada, yada, yada, and, you know, they're just. They're just talking about boring coupley stuff. Honestly, it's just. There's babies and who and, you know, houses. And Hudson's getting older, so now we go over to Whitner. Is everyone okay if we move on from Madison? FaceTiming? Brett?

C (38:29)

Yeah, I want to talk about the chicken coop more. Just get me back to the chicken coop. That's all I care about.

D (38:34)

I literally Cannot wait till we get back to those chickens. But for right now, we have Whitner and his dog Backus. So I love that. I just love the variety of dog names that we've got going on. We've got Bacchus, we've got Karen, and of course, we've got Charles, who we haven't seen much of, actually. It's funny. We complained about Charles so much, and yet I feel like we don't see Charles anymore.

C (38:56)

Don't forget little Crank, little Craig.

D (39:01)

So Austin meets up with Witner, and Austin's like, oh, wow, that's cool you got a dog that packets. But, you know, I'm a cat guy now, starting, like, three episodes ago. But you're cute. These Bacchus is cute. I'm a cat dad. Okay, you want to see my kittens? Here are my kittens. Yeah, it's Martini. Yeah, he's a run. And then Piper. Yeah. Long hair, beauty.

C (39:18)

Yeah.

D (39:19)

Cat dad.

C (39:20)

Yeah. And winner's, like, same age. They're staying with her. Like, don't get me started on my cats. I'm obsessed with my cats, and I call my mother every day. Just tell any woman. You know, as a man who calls.

D (39:32)

His mother and cats, same litter is what I say about every season about this show. Same litter this year, Same litter on my tv.

C (39:43)

We've been calling the men on this show litter for years.

D (39:47)

Get Bette Midler. We need to clean up this litter. So, Austin. Yeah. I think it's nice to have another male friend in the friend group that isn't named Craig. And Whitner's like, yeah, I think Austin lies to talk to me because I, you know. You know, I can. I can relate to Austin in a way that he doesn't feel like he's being lectured, you know? So. Hey, so, Austin, are you or are you not like, any sort of. In any sort of mindset to hang out with Craig and to get a couple of drinks? You want to get the whole gang back together? Because I'm really trying to join this group, but none of you guys are hanging out, and chef's all the way in Cuba, so kind of having a hard time making inroads on this TV show. Can you help me out a little bit here, please?

C (40:24)

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I was talking to Craig at guy's dinner. Okay. And it was productive. It wasn't productive. I mean, gave me a whole bunch of stories with butts at the end of it. You know, I don't take this. Apologies, by the way. I don't think I'm his apologies, by the way. God damn it. Craig. And Whitner's like, yeah, I agree. I mean, anything before a but doesn't really count all that much. But, you know, he's like, well, I want to forgive and forget. With Craig, it just doesn't feel like it used to, which is smooth. It's easy. Show the pictures. And Craig, he's like, hanging on Craig's back on the back of a boat. The wind is blowing through their hair. Go. The easy times when it was easy breezy.

D (41:04)

It's like a yacht rock album cover, the two of them. So I also love, like, like, Austin saying, like, yeah, I never. I never accept Craig's apologies. Like, and they cut to a shot of him accepting Craig's apology. You always accept his apologies. So Austin's like, yeah, well, not, you know, we didn't have to work for it. Like, not have to think about it. It's just like, something like, you know, there's something about me that just, like, triggers him sometimes. I don't know what it is. I'm like, don't listen, Austin. You're being a little hard on Craig. There's something about you that triggers everyone, not just Craig.

C (41:36)

Close your mouth while you eat.

D (41:39)

I'm a cat dad, though.

C (41:42)

Yeah. It gets a little hot headed. Towards me specifically. It's towards me specifically, bro. And Whitner's like, yeah, you know, I'm seeing more of a rivalry than a friendship. A heated rivalry.

D (41:56)

Jack is like.

C (41:57)

Jack is at home. Like, he's just got, like, a tent in his pants. He's like, oh, no.

D (42:06)

Wait, why did they put Austin on my show? Take Austin out of my stories. So, yeah, he says it's more of a rivalry. And Whitner's like, you know, Austin has a bit of a victim complex, so he's gonna feel like he's being attacked. And Craig has a narcissistic streak, so he's gonna want to be controlling. And whether or not those two pieces fit together is, you know, to be determined. I think it has been determined. And first of all, sir, thank you for that lovely read because you're absolutely correct. And they do not fit together. And that's the fun of the show.

C (42:39)

Yeah. Whitner's like, oh, it's amazing how friendship can sound like a relationship, right? And Austin says, brother, I've literally been dating Craig for years. Jack just climaxed. He's like, oh, God, it was like a whole season in one scene.

D (43:01)

So then we go over to fish house Deck and bar. So Vanita, she heads up a very long staircase and meets up with Leva. And then Rodrigo shows up and Molly, and it's time for them to talk. So they order some poke, and Lev is like, wait, I always thought it was pokey. Like, I've been ordering pokey instead of poke. Something wrong with me.

C (43:22)

There's another Leva moment where you're like, you are a restaurant owner. Could you please pretend you're a restaurant owner on this show? Because remember last year, she had one too, where she was like, I mean, what even is charcuterie? She said something like that where it's like, what?

D (43:37)

You don't.

C (43:37)

Or like, what is duck liver? I don't remember what it was, but I remember we were horrified.

D (43:43)

Well, as the great Whitney Houston once sang, it's not right, but it is. Okay, so Rodrigo says.

C (43:54)

Rodrigo says, I believe in you. And poke.

D (44:01)

The greatest poke of all is happening to me. So then Rodrigo says, I just feel bad because, I don't know. I mean, Molly and I have been going to, you know, Hilo. We're working out, and she was my accountability coach, and I lost my all accountability, and I'm just eating a lot of food. They're basically just, like, feeling bad about how they look and everything because they're saying they're not working out and stuff. And then, Vanita, why is this every.

C (44:29)

Conversation with a gay? Like, seriously, even. And I don't even mean on tv. Like, it's not fair. It's like, every conversation with a gay, whenever we sit down, it's like the obligatory, how's everybody? I feel fat. Okay, here's what I did this week, and the reasons I feel fat. I feel like a piece of you guys. I'm a piece of. Because I ate a hostess donut last night even though my dog was judging me. Anybody else? Okay, let's gossip now. Okay. Got that out of the way.

D (44:56)

I think that's why I struggled with that first episode of Heated Rivalry, because I was like, when are they gonna talk about how they just feel like they haven't been eating right properly recently?

C (45:05)

Yes. Where was that? But. No, but that was a fantasy. That show was a fantasy because every episode, they just showed them working out tirelessly. It's like, you know, all the years of them struggling while they were on a peloton reading their texts, seeing if they got a text from them.

D (45:22)

Does. So I'm only one episode into Heated Rivalry.

C (45:24)

I'm.

D (45:24)

I think this weekend I'm going to binge the rest of it. Question, does it. Does anyone in the fandom ever talk about the fact that those two guys really don't look very much like hockey players? Like, they don't have, like, hockey player builds. Is that ever something that comes up? Or are we just supposed to just. Just say go?

C (45:40)

No, I don't understand what that means. Like, what. How are hockey players built?

D (45:44)

Hockey players look like. They just. They look like little walls. They're kind of like little stone hinges. They're just. They're very blocky. They're very much like, you know, those things in Super Mario, those big tiles that have, like, the face on them that go walking around and they fall.

C (46:00)

Yeah, it's like the big statues.

D (46:02)

That's what the hockey players look like. My freshman year roommate in college was a hockey player. And he was just like, he was just a. He was just a rectangle. And he was the nicest guy. Such a sweet rectangle. And he was French Canadian. I mean, I basically had my own heated rivalry, except he wasn't gay at all and nothing happened between us.

C (46:20)

But even hotter.

D (46:23)

I know. He was so lovely, but he was so French Canadian. Like, he loved blasting Celine Dion and he always hated when I played my music. However, he was okay when I played Sarah McLachlan, who, of course is French Canadian. The life of a. I feel like you could have.

C (46:44)

Yeah, I feel like you could have had sex with him.

D (46:47)

You know, he was really straight. He was really, really, really straight.

C (46:51)

Sarah McLaughlin. Sarah McLachlan. So then, okay, so Sally's talking about Craig, of course. Well, she's talking. Well, no, Vanita is talking about Sally and Craig. And she's like, yeah, you know, Sally and I had a bit of a squabble, and I was just flabbergasted. I was like, okay. And I didn't even hug her on her way out. And Lev is like, yeah. Makes me sad because, like, generally I think you're, like, such a good friend to Sally, but, like, Sally's not a girl's girl. Boom, boom, boom.

D (47:31)

There it is. There it is.

C (47:33)

Me love a girls girl of all girls girl. Ask me single mom I fired.

D (47:41)

That's right.

C (47:41)

For drinking when everybody else was also drinking.

D (47:46)

So, Molly, they all agree that Sally is not a girl's girl, by the way. I also like Sally saying the squabble was so bad that didn't even hug afterwards to say goodbye. I'm like, do people normally hug goodbye after a squabble of any kind? But that's fine. So Vanita says, I expect What I give to people in friendships. So the abandonment thing is hard for me because I had a best friend I grew up with from diapers that stopped talking to me when I was in 11th grade. And I never thought there would be a moment in my life where I didn't have her. Then all of a sudden, she disappeared, and I was like, okay. Wow. And then there's a whole.

C (48:16)

Okay, wait, wait, Pause. Really? That's the whole story? I meet the rest of the story, man, because I've watched you on this show, and just being like, yep. Then she, for whatever reason, have no idea why stop talking to me. What did you do? What did you. What did you do? Because I believe there's more to this. Okay? There's a whole season here. Call that girl from 11th grade and get her on the show. And also, how does Vanita look? Exactly the same as she did in the 11th grade, except that is crazy. Do you think they were like, vanita, we need. We need a picture from. From you when she's in 11th grade, and she's like, I don't have one. And they were like, okay, well, just, you know, put on this wig, and then we'll take a picture.

D (48:57)

Exactly the same. So Vanitas.

C (49:00)

And then she says, sorry, because I cut you off, so I didn't want you to get. But then she goes. And then there was a whole JT thing. No. And we see the clip of her at the reunion with jt, saying, in September, you let me know that you and that girl were no longer together. And after that, we were going out on dates. We were working on figuring out if we would actually be boyfriend and girlfriend. And then the super teaser drops, and she's in my dark DMs calling me a goddamn rat. And he goes, but you knew I had a girlfriend off camera. I. I had a girlfriend. She goes, oh, come on. I did not. But then Vanita did a podcast recently where she said, oh, yeah, I was never with jt. I never even kissed that guy. He had a girlfriend the whole time. Okay, so which is it? Vanita? And this is the problem I have with Vanita. I just don't believe her. I just don't believe her because she lies. And then it's like, did you forget that you lied? That was your entire reunion. Come on, man. At least please stick with the lie. I don't even need the truth. Just, if you're gonna lie on a show, stick with the lie. So I don't believe you in this fight, and I think you were totally Right. In this fight against Sally. That's the thing. But I still can't be on your side because of your own podcast Confessions.

D (50:08)

My. My hot take is I honestly was never emotionally invested in anything with the Vanita and JT thing. I didn't care about the stuff that was on camera, and I just never. So that, like, made it hard for me to get, like, really invested in like the. In like the this. This stuff. So I just feel like with Vanita, well, I guess that what I just want from her is. I think what we both want from her is we just want her to stand and stand in her Vanita ness a little bit more, you know, in the sense of like. I just. I'm just really upset that she stormed out. I keep on saying stormed out. She didn't storm out. But I'm just still obsessed that she left the final scene today early when it could have been such a triumphant Vanita moment. I feel like she's so close to being so great on the show and then. But she's actually can't quite get there, you know, and that bothers me.

C (51:00)

It bothers me that she tells so many untruths. I mean, JT is jt like, who's rooting for jt? No one. But I mean, she did JT pretty dirty. That's. I mean, who cares about JT though? Whatever. He's fine. He's off in.

D (51:15)

He's off in Bali with none of us.

C (51:17)

Somewhere. Yeah, with the money he got when he sold his mama's couch. Hello there. This is a two part recap. Okay, this is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

D (51:36)

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alice and block.

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Call.

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It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

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She's our favorite streamer. Caroline Peacock.

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Aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.

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Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

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She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

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Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

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Darn skin chippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors make way for A.J.

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Lopez.

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Happy are we Is Allison with an I? She's VVIP It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

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Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

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We'Re taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

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Let's get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.

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Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

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Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

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Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

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Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.

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She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.

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Let's get savage With Laura Wildman. In the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani.

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Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

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We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

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Tell of son Shannon out of a cannon. Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop hop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

C (54:24)

She ain't no shrinking violet cootar. We love you guys.

A (54:33)

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right, because we're still.

B (54:42)

Doing a lot of stuff wrong.

A (54:44)

Who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with, whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

B (54:52)

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

A (55:01)

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

B (55:09)

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

C (55:17)

Love you.