#3177 Vanderpump Rules S12E07: Eyebrows in the Attic

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode #3177 Recap

Vanderpump Rules S12E07: Eyebrows in the Attic
Release Date: January 22, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this raucous recap of Vanderpump Rules Season 12, Episode 7, Ben and Ronnie delight in the chaos of the show’s main cast “Cats Trip,” the dubious “20th anniversary” of SUR, and, most notably, an OnlyFans scandal that teeters on the edge of incest among the new SUR staffers. Laced with their trademark blend of affectionate mockery, sharp observation, and quotable one-liners, the hosts navigate workplace drama, romantic entanglements, and Bravo’s ever-blurring line between reality and outrageousness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Cat’s Trip Anticipation & Mid-Season Thoughts

• Ben and Ronnie both express disbelief that they’re already at Episode 7, speculating this may be a "tester season" for the rebooted cast. Ben wants the show renewed, highlighting the cast trip as a make-or-break event.
  • “It looks like we're here at the Cat's Trip. I think this is the main cast trip. ...Hope it does. I really like it.” (Ben, 02:40)

Amusing Opening Scenes: Dogs, Milkshakes, Sectionals, and Tea Bags

• Venus walks dogs in Winnetka (dog in backpack; L.A. gay essential).
• Jason and Chris tease homoerotic tension while making post-workout "dirty little milkshakes."
  • “Are these two just cousins or are they fucking each other?” (Ronnie, 03:56)
• Natalie moves her massive sectional and discovers a literal teabag under it, prompting Ben and Ronnie’s musings about strange household discoveries.

Lisa Vanderpump & Guillermo Plan SUR's 20th Anniversary

• Lisa, in typical theatrical fashion, reminisces about humble beginnings and formulates plans for a “Women in Wine” event at Paso Robles.
• The “Sexy Unique Restaurant” acronym is roasted for being “utterly batshit crazy,” while Lisa’s eccentricities (insisting to be called ‘Pinky’, always self-mythologizing) are lovingly lampooned.
  • “That's one of the craziest things you could ever call a restaurant.” (Ben, 08:48)
  • “She’s a kook.” (Ben, 09:52)
• The hosts highlight the continued presence of questionable service (“Maybe look at your service ratings on the app,” Ben, 12:10).

Relationship Dramas

• Kim & Marcus: Ongoing toxic cycles, with Kim “never not being there” for Marcus, except when experiencing the brunt of his volatility and suspicions.
  • “I'm never not gonna be there during your worst time of your life. I will be there for you. And then I'll also complain at the same time.” (Ben as Kim, 15:42)
• Angelica & Shane: Flirtatious beach date descends into confusion about boundaries—Shane admits to not believing in monogamy, citing family tradition.
  • “Nobody in my family is monogamous. They're ethically non-monogamous though, if that makes any sense.” (Shane, 19:45)
• Angelica naively believes she can change Shane’s mind, with Ben and Ronnie cautioning against "I can fix him" delusions.
  • “No, he won’t even make change for you.” (Ronnie, 21:04)

SUR’s “20th” Anniversary Party: Celebratory Chaos

• Staff question the math (SUR was open in 1998; 20th anniversary? It's 2026).
  • “If this is the sir 20th anniversary, and I’m 20... can somebody let me know, like, what?” (Natalie, 23:44)
• Lisa gives a now-classic pep talk, filled with bombast and references to “women trapped in wine bottles.”
• The party features jazz played by 12-year-olds and a notable lack of original cast at the festivities.

Behind-the-Bar Wars: Kim vs. Natalie

• Marcus manipulates conflict, relaying “I love you” banter between Demi and Kim, sparking jealousy and confrontation between Natalie and Kim.
• Lisa intervenes in host stand altercations, concerned about children musicians witnessing “girls, girls!” fighting.
  • “We’ve got children on instruments. We're paying them 13 cents an hour. Please, please, have some respect!” (Lisa/Ben, 45:40)

Jason’s Incompetence & Comic Relief

• Jason’s failings (“not good with computers,” “pre-med” confusion, lack of menu knowledge) are hilariously recounted.
  • "If Jason wanted to be a doctor, how would he organize everything? ...What if he chopped off the wrong leg?" (Ronnie, 29:56)
• Attempts to upsell goat cheese balls and reference empanadas (“empanumber”/“in Canada?”) showcase cluelessness.

OnlyFans Scandal & Potential Incest

• Kim, Angelica, and Demi discover Jason and Chris’s cousinly OnlyFans content, reading explicit captions aloud (“oiled up saggy balls all the way up to our ass”).
  • “If my man was naked lubing up his cousin, I don't want anything to do with you. Sorry.” (Angelica, 76:22)
• The audience and hosts revel in the outrageousness, likening it to Bravo’s first “hot incest” storyline.

The Madonna Inn Detour / Prelude to Paso Robles Trip

• The car ride banter covers everything from urinal etiquette to “who’s most likely to throw a drink,” highlighting generational differences, pop culture ignorance, and male bonding in “divided urinal” bathrooms.
  • “Now we have a whole generation of men growing up who never knew what it was like to have a line of urinals together that didn’t have the little dividers...” (Ben, 61:16)

Cast House Room Assignments & Girl Talk

• Audrey & Chris get the “couple suite,” igniting Kim’s bitterness.
• Tension simmers between divided alliances (Angelica, Natalie, Kim vs. Audrey), culminating in private discussions about trust, jealousy, and who is being “miserable.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On SUR’s Wacky Branding:
  • “We’ve just gotten so used to the fact that it's called Sexy Unique Restaurant, I think we've forgotten how utterly batshit crazy it is to call a restaurant that.” (Ben, 08:48)
• On the OnlyFans Cousins:
  • “Are these two just cousins or are they fucking each other?” (Ronnie, 03:56)
  • “All three of our throbbing, oiled up, rubbing each other down everywhere. Close ups of our oiled up and saggy balls all the way up to our ass.” (Angelica reading, 73:32)
• Lisa Vanderpump Dragging Her History:
  • “When we came to the United States to get our visas, I'll never forget Ken and I arriving in a wagon being pulled by a sad donkey. I had a ball gown tied up in a bindle behind me...” (Ben as Lisa, 07:24)
• Marcus Fueling Drama:
  • “Marcus is like, literally, Regina George with a burn book, and she's throwing papers in the school and, like, taking a step back and letting everyone else fight about it, knowing that he was the ringleader the entire time.” (Ben, 49:05)
• On Incest Scandal:
  • “It's definitely at least hot incest. I mean, Mary and her grandfather is disgusting. This is Hot.” (Ronnie, 77:10)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro/Cast Trip Anticipation: 01:22 – 03:41
• Dog in Backpack, Milkshakes, and Sectional Teabags: 03:41 – 05:30
• Lisa, Guillermo, and SUR History Discussion: 05:30 – 12:12
• Kim & Marcus Relationship Scene: 14:54 – 16:43
• Shane and Angelica's Non-Monogamous Date: 17:08 – 21:22
• SUR 20th Anniversary Party Chaos: 22:44 – 27:42
• Jason's Schedule Debacle & Menu Incompetence: 29:23 – 34:22, 47:16 – 50:19
• Natalie vs. Kim Bar Fight: 44:02 – 46:46
• OnlyFans Cousins Discovery: 72:07 – 79:07
• Madonna Inn Detour (Men's Bathroom/Urinal History): 58:18 – 61:31
• House Arrival & Alliances: 69:22 – 71:57

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Running Jokes & Recurring Motifs

• Goat Cheese Balls: Nearly every segment referencing SUR’s menu fixates on their infamous goat cheese balls.
• Lisa's Exaggerations: Her penchant for reframing history, grandeur, and her unconventional approach to “anniversaries” and staff motivation.
• Cousinly Love: The ambiguity—teased by both hosts and cast—around Jason and Chris’s relationship goes from inside joke to central plot.
• Bravo Meta-Commentary: Recurring mockery about how deep the franchise has gone (“first hot incest on Bravo!”), and loving shots at the series’ longevity.

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Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie are irreverent, affectionate roastmasters who skewer the absurdity with high-energy, sharp wit, and plenty of asides. Their banter reflects both an insider’s knowledge and a slightly exasperated fan’s eye, reveling in the mess even as they call out the nonsense.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This recap covers the entire emotional and absurd spectrum of the new cast of Vanderpump Rules, from weird family dynamics and OnlyFans surprises to the boring logistics of restaurant work made hilarious by comedic incompetence. Ben and Ronnie’s analysis is cinematic, deeply sarcastic, and laden with references; their chemistry alone makes the episode worth it for Bravo obsessives and comedy fans alike.

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Standout Quote:
"If my man was naked lubing up his cousin, I don't want anything to do with you. Sorry."
— Angelica, 76:22

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Transcript

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what happens. Watch what. Who cares what happens when there's so much. That happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ins a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the hilarious and lovely Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie. How's it going?

[Ronnie Caram]

Hi, how are you Ben?

[Ben Mandelker]

I am great. We are here to talk some Vanderbump rules. The very funny cliffhanger. An amazing cliffhanger, I think something we've really not seen before. But before we dive into that, the Crappies are coming up the end of next month. February. February 27th night of a Thousand Laughs and Stars. We are giving out awards to the best and worst Bravo from the past year and we can't wait to do it and we want you to be part of it. There will be some voting that will be starting up very, very soon. Early February. In the meantime, we're gathering information so keep an eye and ear out for anytime. We're calling for memories of what happened, favorite moments, favorite quotes, things like that. And you can get tickets by going to watch crappins.com ticket links there. Also on our social media at Watch what Crappens. You can also join us on Patreon just because you should join us on Patreon. We have Crappies on Demand where you can watch us and we also have weekly bonus episodes. We are covering the Traders. I cannot wait. Tomorrow night. I am, like, counting down the seconds until the next episode. I'm fired up. I have a lot of things to say, so join us on Patreon. Patreon.com Watch what crappens. Also, a new feature on Patreon is that you can listen to this podcast ad free. So if that is something that is interesting to you or appealing to, go check that out. But that's really it for the big announcements. And today we're getting into episode seven. I can't believe we're already on the seventh episode of Vanderpump Rules. It looks like we're here at the Cat's Trip. I think this is the main cast trip. I'm sure they're only getting one trip because it's probably a tester season to see if this show will get to come back. Hope it does. I really like it, but what say you, Ronnie? How'd you feel about this episode?

[Ronnie Caram]

Good, I think. It's always so funny. I love this show. So let's get going on with it. We've got Venus walking his dogs in Winnetka. One's in a backpack because, you know he's gay. You're not really gay in la, even in Winnetka, unless you've got a dog in the backpack.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

At some point in your life, it's required. Then in another example of. Are these two just cousins or are they fucking each other? We go over to Jason and Chris at their apartment, and Chris is like, hey, want me to film you making a dirty little milkshake? Milkshake? And he's like, yeah, film it. Yeah, let's make this milkshake. Yeah, I need my protein. Oh, yeah, get your protein on. Oh, don't worry. It's gonna make you your pants at the gym. I'm like, okay, you guys, just. Just on the. Just, just.

[Ben Mandelker]

Just do it. Jason's like, welcome to the crib. Today we're making a protein shake, Chris. So to all those people who are supporting their only fans, get excited for.

[Ronnie Caram]

That great content coming up later today. Should I do it in one gulp? Yeah, you should.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Jason's like, yeah. And this is how you will your pants at the gym. Don't squat too deep. So then they left. And we go over to Natalie's apartment, and she's moving her sectional around. I. I'm very impressed. Once I put a sectional together, that thing I do not touch until I have to ever move. So she is taking it apart to vacuum under it. And she's like, oh, my God, look at this. Like, what's under here? What's under this couch? Oh, my God, it's a tea. Oh, my God, it's a. It's a tea bag. I mean, finding a pen cap, finding coins, whatever, dog hair. But it has a tea bag under there. It's like a full, unused tea bag. Oh, my God, it's a tea. So that means that someone was drinking tea and was like, they did not know what happened to their teabag. That's. There's a story behind that.

[Ronnie Caram]

I think the teabag belongs in the previous scene. Like, they're blending the characters too much. So then we go to Guillermo, and he's cleaning the rest restaurant, which is hilarious because we've all been to the restaurant, and we know it's not clean. And he's cleaning some glass, and Lisa's there, and she's like, oh, give it to me. If you want a job done properly, do it yourself. Look at this. I'm just doing this in the air. But look at Rosio's hand actually moving against the glass as I do it. This new trick I learned.

[Ben Mandelker]

Magic controller. So a bunch of liquor boxes came in, and she's like, okay, well, I'm not helping you with that. I'm gonna put my back out if I touch these boxes. Oh, oh, look. Look at this bottle. Oh, this? I was thinking, this sounds really good. Strawberry lemonade in a bottle. But then I see it's got vodka in it. I was gonna have some. Oh, isn't that naughty? Vodka, Strawberry lemonade. By the way, why do you have boxed or bottled vodka? Strawberry lemonade. I feel like that's, like, at a restaurant, I feel like you should have, like, your fresh lemonade and then your straw. Like, you should be making all that and adding in the vodka, but she's just getting it in a bottle pre made. I was like, oh, I'm impressed that.

[Ronnie Caram]

She has anything that's not named Vanderpump in her restaurants. Because I went to TomTom and we were ordering some wine, and they only have Vanderpump wine. Yeah, you can't. You can't order anything else. So I was impressed. I was impressed that she opened up the floor. So she's like, all right, Guillermo, let's get down to brass taxes. That's where you pay taxes in brass. Go for it, big boy. It's like, I don't have any money. That's right, because you work for me. Let's talk about the 20th anniversary of Pump. I'm gonna do a magic trick. I'm gonna take off four years of the restaurant that you owned before I came in here and took it over and made it a decent place to get goat cheese and bananas at happy hour. It's the 20 year anniversary now. Years erased. Magic.

[Ben Mandelker]

When we came to the United States to get our visas, I'll never forget Ken and I arriving in a wagon being pulled by a sad donkey. I had a ball gown tied up in a bindle behind me and wearing a straw hat and just trying to make a dime here or there. And we pulled up our wagon to the abbey, and we looked here and we said, please, please, will you give us gainful employment? Surely you have need for a magician. Smoke bomb flares. And I emerged in that gown that was previously bindled. And it turned out the wagon, what was pulled by a donkey was merely a Mercedes with Pandy in the backseat. And they said, we will hire you. Except we're not hiring right now. Go down the road. There's a restaurant called Sir. And that's where we went.

[Ronnie Caram]

I love her. Well, at first we looked at the Abbey. Well, okay. Well, there's your first business mistake, because that place is making a zillion dollars a day still probably. It's like, damn, chaperone.

[Ben Mandelker]

You chose wrong.

[Ronnie Caram]

You chose wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

Wrong.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they got the little named sir and she met. Would you think sir still stood for a sexy unique restaurant? Or do you think that was a Lisa thing? She's like, it was Sir. We shall change the meaning. Instead of so you are, Guillermo. Let's call it sexy unique restaurant.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like it was originally called sir because it was. It probably was like the French word sir, which I believe means on if my French presidency does not betray me. But I. I just feel like it was not sex unique Restaurant. I feel like it was just French or whatever it was. It just was not what it was. And I think Lisa was like, oh, we don't want to change the signage, but here's what we do. We make it stand for something new. Sexy unique restaurant. And we've just gotten so used the fact that it's called Sex unique restaurant that I think we've forgotten how utterly batshit crazy it is to call a restaurant that an acronym of sexy. This restaurant is called sexy unique Restaurant. Like that is one of the craziest things you could ever call a restaurant. And we're just so immune to it now.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's just so Lisa. You know, I remember when they had that behind the show thing about Beverly Hills, you know, the behind the scenes thing after about season one and they were saying that Lisa was insisting that if she comes on the show, her name had to be Pinky. She didn't want to go by her real name. She had to be Pinky. And they're like, no, that's not gonna work, lady.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's a kook.

[Ronnie Caram]

So he's like, oh, I'm so grateful, Lisa. So grateful that we could have this restaurant together. She's like, oh, grateful to you too, darling. It's a partnership. We couldn't have done it without each other. Now get back to moving all the boxes and cleaning everything. I don't really work here.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. Right. So by the way, in this little sequence, we do see some photos from like 1999, which was crazy. Like young Guillermo, young Natalie, sort of wild. So Lisa's like, well, I would like to talk to you about one more thing. Well, we. So we've got to reschedule some of the staff a little bit because I'm taking group to pass a robles because they've got women in wine event and I want to pour some women into some wine. Oh, dunk tank. I love them so much.

[Ronnie Caram]

I just need to bring a bunch of men as well because unfortunately the women are trapped in wine bottles and we need big strong hands to get them out.

[Ben Mandelker]

Women in wine, or as they like to call it, A very important organization to be the. The woman, the women in wine of the Euros that we is very exciting. And I don't know, sometimes when they line us all up, it's we and we you are we you are. And then someone starts singing in the jungle, the mighty jungle, and just goes from there. It's so fun. Anyway.

[Ronnie Caram]

I don't know why I feel such anxiety about it. Maybe because I'm bringing my stuff.

[Ben Mandelker]

As we are. It's very important that they represent me properly. So then we see a flashback. She's like, I don't know, I feel anxiety about bringing them. And we see a flashback of Natal. Be like, you're a to me all the time. I was a one night. Now you're a to me all the time. Hey, hold on one second. I don't know what you're doing right now, but stop it, stop it. Don't act like this and otherwise you'll be fired.

[Ronnie Caram]

And another clip of Angelica being like, he's got an only fans. He uses a penis pump. Do you even know what that is? She's like, oh, what will we think? So she's like all they need to do is serve and pour. I mean how difficult can it be? I don't know. You might want to look at your service ratings on the app.

[Ben Mandelker]

Seriously.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ronnie Caram]

Huh huh?

[Ben Mandelker]

So now they sit down to properly start their scene, and he's like, oh, man, I slept for, like, two seconds last night. I'm surprised I even got up to go. Come here. Are you pissed at me?

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, God. So this scene is basically him going, yeah, I was yelling at you for no reason last night. Just starting shit to be. Give something to our relationship. Hope you're not mad. And she's like, oh, my God. I'm just like. I just, like, want to trust him. But then he just, like, starts off fighting, and I just don't know what I'm going to do. Like. Like, it was upset, but, like, now we're back together. And he says that subconsciously, maybe he is parting, pushing Kimberly away because he had been drinking, and, you know, he was a buzzing cousin, guys. And so he wanted a big reaction that night. You know why? Because he's toxic. And then he winks. He's like, Know what I mean? Yeah. Love that toxicity.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. And then Kim is telling us I've done all the. Or she tells him I've done all the right things to make you feel like I'm your complete ride or die. So when things like that happen, it makes me feel like there's, like, nothing else I can do. I'm like, that's correct. And therefore, you should leave him. End of story. But she tells us, you know, Marcus has been given, like, really shitty cards from the universe because, like, of everything, like, he lost his parents, he wound up dating me. I mean, really shitty cards. And I'm just, like, never gonna, like, be there for you. Like, I'm never not gonna be there during your worst time of your life. I will be there for you. And then I'll also complain at the same time.

[Ronnie Caram]

There's never a time I'm not gonna be there for you in the worst time of your Life. Except when you piss me off and I say things like, I'm not gonna be there for his parents being dead. Like, I'm sick of it. He can go over there and he can worry about himself and see what it's like to have me. You know, I've seen all these, like.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. I've seen all the great, amazing sides of him, and it's, like, really hard when all the bad sides are just thrust on me. And of course, he has nothing but bad sides. But that's okay. That's okay. I'm never going to abandon him until, you know, later today.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. And he's like, oh, God, sometimes I can be a little babe. She's like, I forgive you. Remember you were a. Like when I ate your last goat cheese ball. And you'll just, like, not talk to me for 20 minutes. Okay, but that's valid. You know, the other thing that he started to fight over was not valid. That was stupid. But you take my last goat cheese balls, you're gonna get a gift, and it's gonna be a bus ticket to somewhere far away. And it's gonna be one way because I will never speak to you again.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So then we go to the beach. Perry's Beach Cafe, specifically, because now Shane Davis is meeting with Angela, and he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good to see you. She's like, oh, my God. Like, it's so good to see you. Like, I'm gonna need you to, like, take charge and, like, order something for me because I'm a girl. Which, by the way, did you not get any. You got X rays? Are we just not gonna find out what happened to your back?

[Ronnie Caram]

Hello.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've been waiting all week.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, MRI mystery not solved. So he's like, yeah. You know what I like about Angelica? She's hitting the gym. You can see it. Yeah, that's what I like. I like that she works out. She's a quad mommy. She has a nice little waist, looking bad as, you know, beautiful skin. He's probably also smart. I mean, I don't know, but maybe.

[Ben Mandelker]

They'Re like, yeah, she's probably really smart. A cut to her walking in the sand in her boots that she wore to the beach. So then she's like, I was kind of hoping you'd be in the bikini for the beach for a second, but I guess not. She's like, sorry. She's like, yeah, but you got this cute ass outfit on. I really like it a lot. Okay, let me ask you how you feel about rat Last night right now. Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Well, she talks about Audrey and like, his. It didn't end the way she wanted it to. Honestly, I adore her. And he's like, yeah, you guys are gonna be friends. This is all gonna be behind us. I mean, somebody's gotta be the bigger person. May. May as well be you. My right. Got your ass. Hey, be the person with a better ass. How can nobody ever says that, you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Know, how can I be the bigger person? I'm only five two. I'm petite with a broken back, so now I'm down to five' one. And he's like, yeah, but like, I think you're that person. I'm gonna be honest. Okay. I mean, her apology game needs like a little work. But Angelica, she's a musician. And I'm just like, damn, I can see this. She's kind of involved a little bit. That was me laughing to music because she's a musician.

[Ronnie Caram]

So she is gonna try it. Okay. She's gonna try and make makeup for everything with what's her face. So she's like, yeah, he's like, objectively my type, but like, I'm looking like for the chase, you know, something exciting. That's going to be fun. Well, you need to run though.

[Ben Mandelker]

You can't run if you got a broken back.

[Ronnie Caram]

If you want to run, run, girl. If you want to chase, run, girl.

[Ben Mandelker]

Did you not notice that her torso is not even attached to her legs anymore? It's horrifying what happened to her.

[Ronnie Caram]

So she's moving herself on like a little cart with rollers. So she's like, well, I mean, you like bring a new girl in every week. So I was like, okay. And he go, nobody in my family is monogamous. They're ethically non monogamous though, if that makes any sense. We don't kill cows while we other girls.

[Ben Mandelker]

No, yeah, we don't inject any hormones while we are lots of people. She's so. She's like, so you're not monogamous? He's like, huh? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I know. I don't think so. I mean, I. I haven't been in a relationship in five years. You know, ever since I was shot. I haven't been in relationship since about six years after that show. I just don't do relationships. She's like, okay, well, I'm glad you're telling me those now. He's like, okay, well what's on your list? Like number one, number two, number three, priorities. What it do? What it do? Tell me about your Priorities. What it do?

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, well, monogamy. He goes, okay. He goes, well, we're that up already. She goes, yeah, I don't know if I have the ability to change his mind about monogamy, but I'm willing to try. Sometimes all it takes is the right person. Like. Oh, God, no, don't fall into the. He'll change for me. No, he won't. Okay, he won't even make change for you.

[Ben Mandelker]

No. Imagine if he's just like talking about monograms. He got confused. Yeah, I don't like anything in my cuffs. No, I'm non monogamous. That's just. That's just the way I roll. So she's like, I really want like intelligence and a good credit score. I'm like, okay. So none of that seems to be at this table between the two of you.

[Ronnie Caram]

So you're just not gonna date anyone on this cast?

[Ben Mandelker]

What are you doing on this show?

[Ronnie Caram]

He goes, okay, well, what's four, five, six? I mean, somewhere I gotta be on this list somewhere. And she goes, okay, do you know how to operate a laundry machine? He goes, oh, got one in my house.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, There we go. There we go. Okay.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

What a dude.

[Ben Mandelker]

Laundry machine in the house. Guess what? I got a ge. Oh, it's from the monogram collection. That just worked out real well right there.

[Ronnie Caram]

Okay, so you want them not to be disgusting. Great, I got that one going. So I was just gonna say, you know, there's no food in your teeth right now. She goes, thank you. So you want to kiss? That's kiss. Oh my God. If you want to kiss, just kiss me.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

Consent is for contracts. Like, what do you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Sorry, that's.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they kiss and it's really awkward. And. And then he's like leaning over the beach chair, so it's really awkward.

[Ben Mandelker]

And then he pulls out and he's like, well, pulls out of the kiss, I should say. And he goes, that was like. She's like, you're like a five year old. Yeah, but like, I kind of want a little bit more though. So they kiss. They kiss again, and they're just totally annoying.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now we go to the Sir 20th anniversary party. I call it an antiversary because it's a lie. It's a live and anniversary. So Demi's there. She's like, oh, I need Marcos. Hey, Marcus, right now. He's like, what do you need? She goes, I need more of sa blanc, more of this stuff, so grab it yourself. And she's like, oh, yeah, like all Of a sudden, no. Angelica comes. This is everybody. Everybody coming to work, you know, talking about the weather. And Angelica's like, oh, my God. All of a sudden, the weather acts right, and I have to work.

[Ben Mandelker]

Everyone, everyone, are we ready for tonight? It's gonna be a who's who of who who. And that's. You're going to serve them all lots of bees. I'm a wee, so be good, she says. Every time I say, so has been open for 20 years. I get a shiver down my spine, and I realize it's just the flaps of air coming from Gin's wig blowing on my back. 20 bloody years. It's time to toot our horn. Let's have a bloody good party.

[Ronnie Caram]

And so Natalie's like, Guillermo posted that SIR was open, like, in 1998, which is, like, the year I was born. So if this is the sir 20th anniversary, like, and I'm 20 years old, can somebody let me know, like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

Turns out it's actually the 26th anniversary of SIR but Lisa at SIR has only been 20 years. Guys, it's been figured out. Oh, my God. Haley says, Demi, can I talk to you? Yes, of course. What's going on? Well, we need to talk about something very important. Okay. Why do you look so perturbed? There's 60 people coming right now. No. Yeah, yeah, I'm resting. Perturbed face. I thought you knew that by now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, well, I don't think, like, anything's fun right now, is it? He says, no, it's not fun. Well, what's wrong? You're gonna get to it. My time is very, very expensive. I've got a bunch of people no one's ever seen or heard from before coming to this restaurant any moment to get free goat cheese bowls. So go ahead. Okay, well, like, I'm in work mode now. Talk. Okay, well, yeah, like, it's a restaurant. Do you have something to say to me? Just say what you've got to say to me, woman. She's like, okay, well, like, last night, I was. I was off, but my phone was blowing up because Jason didn't show up to his shift.

[Ben Mandelker]

He didn't show up. By the way, who is Jason? Well, he was scheduled, and he didn't show up to a shift, like I said. Well, what I hate is when somebody doesn't show up. They leave a short staff just because they're picking around, and we're not going to have that whatsoever. Jason is one of the best waiters in all of Los Angeles. What am I to do? I Can't just fire him.

[Ronnie Caram]

Wait a minute. Jason's the little tiny one. Oh, so you're saying we were short staffed by the short staff. Get it. Get him over here. I want to talk to him. I'm gonna tell him, if you can't play by the rules, expect a spin off in a raise.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mister, if you can't play by the rules, then enjoy having an all expense paid vacation to Paso Robles.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Chris is talking to Audrey. He's like, oh, my God, you got so much sun. She's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna be working in the back. She's like, yeah, I'll find you. He goes, yeah, you better because you didn't find me last time. So you know what? I'm gonna be really upset if I don't see that face. Ding.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Audrey kisses Chris and then Kim is like, oh, my God, your Scarlet Johansson here is like, really Scarlett Johanssoning today. Hold on. Can I talk to you here for a second? Stay the fuck away from my man, Scar Jar Hansen. Okay, he's not yours. Okay, I'm talking to you again. You look great.

[Ronnie Caram]

Fucking Kim. I like that. Kim's a movie star mode today because she calls her Scarlett Johansson. And earlier she's like, do you like my sunglasses? They're totally giving JLo.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Lisa's like, all right, everyone, settle down. This is a big moment for us, everybody. And we're going to be co hosting, we were the Women in Winter wine event in Paso Roble. And I'm going to take some of you, the very, very lucky few. We're going to have fun. We're celebrating women trapped in wine bottles. Sort of depressing. Sure. How did they get oxygen? Nobody knows.

[Ben Mandelker]

But it's a beguiling event full of mystery and magic. Come join. So then Lisa goes, well, and so Chris laughs because. Because she says, do you guys all understand me? And everyone goes, yes. And Chris laughs like, I don't know. He just laughs. What? It's not funny. Do I look like I'm laughing about little ladies trapped in glass bottles, drowning in rose? It's a terrible thing. Terrible, terrible. And you know, I'm hearing. I'm hearing good things about you, but not so good things about your other half. That was a pivot. I bet you thought that. But I said, I'm hearing good things, that there'd be a compliment, but instead it was a dis on the little one. Where is he? Bring him to me.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, I don't know. She was Isn't he on shift? He's supposed to be on shift. No, he's not here till 6:30. She goes, oh, all right. About 6:30. Well, so Jason didn't show up. Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? It's 6:30 right now. Oh, well, I'll deal with him when it's not 6:30 and you see his little face pop up behind. He's like, hey. Hi.

[Ben Mandelker]

So it's. Where's Jason? He didn't come in yet. What? He's late? No, he's supposed to get in here at 6:30. Oh, okay. But it's 6:30 now. Oh, well, then I'll talk to him later. I'll talk to him. It's actually hilarious seeing it back. Like when I watched. I thought nothing of it, but reading it back, that sequence is amazing.

[Ronnie Caram]

There you are.

[Ben Mandelker]

Nice of you to grace us with your presence. At least I think that's your presence. I only can see the tips of your little spiky head. Oh, adorable. Anyway, what's your excuse? Let me guess. Make it out with your cousin again? That was a joke. We'll talk about it in a minute. A little bit later, but not soon.

[Ronnie Caram]

I like an excuse for you being on time tonight, mister. Think it over.

[Ben Mandelker]

We'll talk a little bit after a few minutes, but before several minutes. Anywho, let's make sure everybody has a really good time. 20 years is something you should be proud of. Of course, that is also the time when you start getting old and decrepit. Anyway, good luck.

[Ronnie Caram]

All right. Eyebrow, ass, get over here. So he's like, yes, Lisa. What's going on with you? Little one, please move your eyebrows back so I can make sure you have. Okay, you do have eyes. Okay, great. Now turn around. I'll just talk to your ass. He's like, okay, well, yesterday, think very carefully before you speak because I am not happy. I'm holding a gold watch to put around your wrist right now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jason's like, so I text did. You don't have to literally think carefully. Just say the sentence. Okay. I texted Demi yesterday, and I just didn't know how the schedule system worked. And so I'm technically, like, not good with that stuff. Like, I don't really understand computers. So, like, you know, I was like, pre med in school, but by pre med, it was like I was learning about the Mediterranean. But I was like, hoping to be like, it was before I learned about the Mediterranean. So I'm just like, figuring out computers. It's it's confusing pre med.

[Ronnie Caram]

So if Jason wanted to be a doctor, how would he organized everything? I mean, was he the kind of doctor that didn't show where his patients were and didn't know what leg was supposed to be chopped off? What if he chopped off the wrong leg?

[Ben Mandelker]

The answer is actually yes to all those things. He is. Exactly. That would have been that doctor.

[Ronnie Caram]

Listen, being pre med is not the same thing as being mad, okay? It's a path. But it's a fat. He fell. It's a path he fell off of. Okay. Or was pushed off of or was off of, really. Or off. He was probably fucked a lot on the path. Just. Just. He's not on the path anymore. Let's get over it.

[Ben Mandelker]

You know, when he signed up for that major, he's like, hey, guys, just signed up for preamed. Like, what? Preamed. Then get preamed. That's pre med.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, that's when I pre come all over your face on the Internet. Oh, yeah. That's not what we do in this class.

[Ben Mandelker]

Not what pre med is.

[Ronnie Caram]

I feel like opening up a frog. He's like, do I. That. No, no, no.

[Ben Mandelker]

I feel like I'm about to cream all over it. I'm preamed. No. Do you? Okay, that was a terrible story. Why did you tell that to me when I'm trying to teach you something? Do you want to keep working here, Jason? Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I love it. I love it here. Yeah, absolutely, though.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're smiling because you're charming.

[Ronnie Caram]

That's why.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, I'm so defenseless to male charm. I can't help it. Well, guess what? I'm not smiling right now. On the outside. On the inside.

[Ronnie Caram]

Listen here, buddy. You can charm me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from. You better get a work. What's. What's happening to me? It's like, so not charmed. She is very charmed. She's like, all right, mister, next time we're doing this on my lap. Do you understand?

[Ben Mandelker]

So then they're getting ready for this party, and Marcus is in the kitchen, and he's like. He and Demi are going over some stuff, and she asked him to do something, and he's like, by the way, stupid question. Do you want me to go get the pink bar to get some waters? Whatever. She's like, yeah, yeah, do whatever you need. Okay. And she's like, fill up these waters. And the point is that after they have this discussion of, like, hey, can you do this for me? Can you do that? Okay, fill it up. Okay, cool. All right. And then she leaves, and he goes, okay, love you. He says I love you to Demi. And she goes. And she goes, I'm not saying it back. Marcus. He's like, no, say it back. Say it back. It's like, funny banter, but of course, Natalie there, it's like, okay. So, like, Kim doesn't get mad if you guys say I love you, but, like, I literally say I love you. And I'm like, the worst person in the world who can sing really great. Like, that's so up.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's like, whatever. She goes, yeah, I'm not a shithead. I'm just real. Yeah, so take that. So he's like, whatever. So now, Jason, by the way, that's.

[Ben Mandelker]

Why we stopped to really, like, spell that out, because it, like, changes everything.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So Jason was talking to Venus, and he's asking for help with the menu. And Venus goes, yeah, which menu? And he goes, the whole one. So he's like, yeah, I need to prove to people that I'm not just some only fans kid. You know? Like, they think I'm not a real worker. Just like, I'm just a pretty face and stupid. Like, no, I actually look up to Lisa and I care about what she thinks about me, and I'm a pretty face and I'm stupid. A lot of things can be true at one time. I'm preamed.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, Jason, we know that you look up to Lisa. We literally can see it. It's right on our screen.

[Ronnie Caram]

Get higher shoes. What do you want from me?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Venus is. He's like. Venus, like. Okay, well, okay, Jason. Well, we can talk about the menu. So what would you recommend as an appetizer? Honestly? Cheese balls. Goat cheese balls. It's called goat cheese balls. And why would you recommend them? Because you can play baseball. Okay, they're not real balls like that, okay? They're made of goat cheese.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, okay. Yeah, well, they hold a lot of Come. No, they're goat cheese balls. They hold a lot of goat. Com. No, come on, man. You don't even have to know any. You don't have to know nothing about goat cheese balls. I mean, people don't even work here to. To know that our goat cheese balls are, like, the most popular item on the menu. I mean, Jason needs to be educated in American history. And by the way, Venus is now in his testimonial wearing no shirt and a fur. Like a faux fur vest guy. So funny.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jason's like, well, Instead of me explaining what I would say about the cheese balls, why don't you say, what would you say about them? And so Venus is like, they're the most popular thing on the menu. And everyone's obsessed with the goat cheese balls. They're so good, I can eat 40 of them. Okay, cool. That's the kind of I say to get to it. So then we go.

[Ronnie Caram]

By the way, they're liars on this show. They show goat cheese balls while they're talking about them. They, like, show an order of goat cheese balls, and there's, like, six goat cheese balls. They look gorgeous. That's not how they are. They come with, like, three, and they're like, $19, right? Come on. But it was the past app version, you.

[Ben Mandelker]

It was the past app version, and so it was a tray. And so the past app version, the.

[Ronnie Caram]

Past shows you a real version of what I get for $9 million.

[Ben Mandelker]

Okay, seriously.

[Ronnie Caram]

Fucking cheaters. And don't go for happy hour because they change it. So you can't get goat cheese balls at happy hour. They make them goat cheese empanadas. So you have to come back for dinner to get the balls international.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Angelica is at the front and talking to Kim, and she's like, oh, my God. I, like, went on a date with Shane earlier, and, like, I came into feeling like Haley Bieber next to Justin Bieber just, like, completely dressed up. And he came in and sweats. It's like, what part of Shane Davis said he was gonna come in anything other than sweats, you know? So she's like. I mean, it was, like, really cute. Like, we just, like, got to know each other. And I just feel like every time I talk to him, I just feel like I have so much talking about. He has a washing machine. Did you know that? That's, like, so adult.

[Ronnie Caram]

And Audrey's standing there while she's talking to Kim, and she's just like, like, looking around, like, giving face. She's like, I'd rather poke my eyes out with sporks than work with Angel Angelica right now. And Kim's like, oh, my God, that's exciting. These sunglasses are JLo, right? So do you think you're gonna go out again?

[Ben Mandelker]

Sorry. I just have to say I love that the cat that we've gotten back to, like, poor waiters on this show because, like, not even in their theoreticals can they afford proper silverware. I'm gonna dodge my eyes out with sports.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's, like, taking the free shit they give you at the Whole Foods. I'm gonna try. How am I supposed to eat with this thing? They're like, here's a little wooden spork. Good luck. Good luck with that.

[Ben Mandelker]

She can't even dream of a possibility where she could hold just, like, actual, real silverware to gouge her eyes out with commercials.

[Ronnie Caram]

Here comes one, right?

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[Ben Mandelker]

So Kim's like, yeah, JLo sunglasses. That's me. JLo Gorga. So Audrey is like, I think that, like, Shane should actually run for the hills if he knew what was good for him. Like, based on his story about, like, getting into a model fight where he got shot five times. I don't think he knows what's good for him, but that's okay.

[Ronnie Caram]

And he doesn't know how to run.

[Ben Mandelker]

And there's that, too. Audrey's like, I know he's thinking with his little pecker right now, but he could, like, wood pack, pack, pack somewhere else, right? Spork. They don't have a spork. I really could use a free spork.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, Audrey will get better, maybe. So she's like, yeah, I don't have a lot of trust for Angelica. And Angelica's like, am I invisible? Because, like, I'm like, with. I started, like, with 100 people, like, giving them my full trap. Oh, no. She's like, yeah. Am I visible? Because I'm not even standing right here. And Audrey says, I start at 100 with people, and I give them my full trust. But then when it's broken, I distance myself. That's it. That's it. So I'm distant now. Take it. Take it. You know what? Take it. While we're a foot away from each other, having to work with each other at the hostess stand, enjoy this close distance you're about to get from me.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Angelica tells us, usually people, like, have the courtesy to talk you behind your back, not when you're standing, like, right in front of them. It's Audrey's like, yeah, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because Audrey does this thing where she moves, like, right in front of Angelica and She's like, yeah, I don't really trust Angelica. She's like, I'm still here.

[Ben Mandelker]

So he didn't recognize you? That broken back. Sorry. So Audrey tells us, I like my friends. Like I like my Prada Unreachable. Oh, I mean, real.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I was gonna say, like my friends. Like, I like my product non existent.

[Ben Mandelker]

Something I've never had before.

[Ronnie Caram]

I've never had Friends borrowed you into borrowed friends. What the hell? Stolen. I kill all of my friends.

[Ben Mandelker]

Something I've seen on tv. So there's jazz. So, Marcus, I just want to say for this party, a, I love that there was no one from the original show at this party who like, ostensibly kept this restaurant in business. And B, I like that they were playing jazz. Like, this is a classy establishment. Like, ooh, 20 we're invited. The Europeans. Martin is here somewhere. Play the jazz.

[Ronnie Caram]

But it's jazz played by 12 year olds. Like, they show. And this was really funny too. They show. Like this little kid walking in with drums. He's like, where do I set up? He like, who? Who took you off the street? Call your mother. And they all look like they were stolen from Max's music school in Hollywood. You know, time we're here to play some jazz. All right, darling. What? His third chair in his junior high, darling. Very, very good.

[Ben Mandelker]

Tamara's daughter's there. So just because she's like, I wrote.

[Ronnie Caram]

A song about eating people.

[Ben Mandelker]

Good. How about you change the lyrics to be about goat cheese balls?

[Ronnie Caram]

Then the person was a goat cheese empanada.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're hired. I'm taking you to Wee Woo Wee Woo. Have you ever, young lady, Young Tamara's daughter, have you ever considered putting yourself into a wine bottle so I could save you?

[Ronnie Caram]

Hey, Kimberly, can I get a couple drink menus? So I'm going to take him to this little desk over there so he can, you know, Marcus is just being nice to his girlfriend. So now you just said that nobody who made sir was a success was here. And I'm here to prove you wrong because he is here. And his name is Peter. Peter. And he looks like Meatloaf now. So Peter's here and he's like singer.

[Ben Mandelker]

Or the cuisine or both.

[Ronnie Caram]

If meatloaf and meatloaf had a baby and got Gerard Depardieu's hair.

[Ben Mandelker]

Rip, rip, meatloaf and rip. Whatever. Meatloaf, meatloaf, meatloaf with and never rip.

[Ronnie Caram]

To something that will never die. Meatloaf.

[Ben Mandelker]

He'll do anything for love, but he won't do that Just want to just. He has boundaries. He has boundaries he will not conceive of. Peter.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, lisa, how you doing? She's like, oh, 20. Yes, Peter, I see it all over your face. He's like, I've been here since 2008.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, I know. I've been almost dragged to so many film festivals where you played a scientific fiction character. Didn't like that.

[Ronnie Caram]

Funny. It's funny. You showed up when you were just in diapers, and you also showed up when Ken was just starting with diapers. God, circles. Am I right?

[Ben Mandelker]

I think I used to change your diapers. And I would say, someday you'll grow up and Naray pandy. Oh. Anyway, so Ken. Then Ken's like, are you planning to get rid of him, babe? No, no, no, no, no. Peter, he's perfect. He spotted the furniture at the establishment, which is so funny. She's basically like, no, he's basically a chair. And not one of the chairs that we. That we burned down and got insurance chairs. Remember there was that thing where it's like, we need to get new chairs because the other chairs were burned to this. They, like, Some of the chairs were burned or they were stolen.

[Ronnie Caram]

Lisa Vanderpump has had, like, a hundred fires. There's always a fire around Lisa Vanderpump. Somehow. No one knows how it keeps happening, but it does.

[Ben Mandelker]

She just. She had to bring in, like, a lady, remember to, like, reupholster the chairs. Like, oh, the chairs are fixed now. Reupholster Peter, he's basically a chair.

[Ronnie Caram]

Reupholster the chairs with the skin that Peter shed last week. So Marcus. Marcus and Kim are talking, and he's like, whoa, babe. A little snippiness just came my way because Demi was bitching and moaning about me putting waters out. So I was like, I love you. And she's like, I love you too. And then Natalie walks by, and she goes, oh, so Kimberly's okay with you guys telling each other that you love each other? And Kim's like, oh, my God, what is wrong with her?

[Ben Mandelker]

I mean, the truth is that, like, him. I mean, Natalie had a fair, logical point on that one. Marcus is so ridiculous, going over to Kim to immediately rat out Natalie and then to just inflame the two of them. Like, this guy loves having the women fight over him. So he's like, well, you know, Kimberly is like a CIA agent, so if I come home and I hadn't told her something that happened, she'd smell it on me. I'm like, well, how about you date someone you. Where you don't have such a relationship built on suspicion. Where you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, maybe causing. Yeah, maybe. Stop lying and don't lie so your girlfriend's not paranoid all the time.

[Ben Mandelker]

How about you guys just, like, both never talk to each other again?

[Ronnie Caram]

But he just wants to get her mad, and it works. She falls for the bait. She's like, oh, my God. Literally an obsession. And I don't want to tell her. I'm gonna tell her. She needs to stop. And you know what? I'm gonna tell her right now. And he's like, now? She's like, yeah. He goes, oh. So she marches up and what's her buns. Natalie's behind the bar, and Kim's like, hi, I know you're busy, so I'm gonna tell you this now. Enough is enough.

[Ben Mandelker]

Whoa. Got the gifts ready. Enough.

[Ronnie Caram]

You just got JLo. I said two JLO movies in one sentence.

[Ben Mandelker]

I don't care about the loss that she got, okay? She's like, what? It's oral B. So she's like, enough is enough. She's like, was what? It's like, stop talking about me and Marcus's relationship. Stop sending jabs. Why do you care so much? Like, I literally don't care. I'm, like, just, like, making observations. It's like, Marcus, like, what the are you doing running to Kimberly, setting off a bomb? Like, when? Honestly, if you have a brain, you should see that the whole situation that's been going on for, like, weeks and weeks, you know, has been recognized that you were, like, making it, like, so much worse. Like, what?

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, because you come over here, and I'm, like, working, and I'm like, like, you're upset for no reason. She's like, oh, yeah? Well, to tell you to shut the fuck up. That's why I'm here, so. You look like an idiot. And you look like you're obsessed with my relationship. She's like, oh, okay, that's your opinion. Whatever my opinion, you dumb bitch. And then Lisa over here said, girls, girls, girls. We've got children on instruments. We're paying them 13 cents an hour. Please, please, have some respect, sir is 20 years old.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, I asked her not to be in the bar, and can she, like, go back to, like, the host dad and, like, leave me alone. But because, like, I'm in the bar, and, like, I'm about to sing a song. Do you want to hear it? It goes like this. It's, like, a really good song, and she's, like, ruining it right now. Get her to leave.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, well, then stop talking about everybody else and don't touch me and don't push me out. She goes, but you're in my section. She goes, yeah, well, I'm not in your section. Yes, you are. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, here. Lisa, here. Please, please, you're not doing this now.

[Ben Mandelker]

Please.

[Ronnie Caram]

Not on this very important day. For. Sir, the guy who twirls a subway sign down the street just came in. He's a celebrity.

[Ben Mandelker]

I have a man over there with a hair of Liza Minnelli holding a tiny dog, and we do not want to offend him, so please go back to your stations. And Kim goes, you know what? I'm gonna be professional. I love that. I love. I love Kim, who marched over here to start shit and to complain, is now gonna be like, you know what? I'm. I'll be the professional. The two of us. You were the one who was being ridiculous. Oh, God.

[Ronnie Caram]

And you are accosting her at her station, which she can't leave because it's a little jail cell. It's a bar.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's like the little lemonade stand bar that they have in the middle of the restaurant. So Lisa's like, okay, I'll tell you. She's like. So now he's like, tell her. Tell her that people can hear her. I am telling you right now, and I'll tell you.

[Ronnie Caram]

But why are you telling her that? Why are you telling her that if you're gonna tell me later?

[Ben Mandelker]

But I'm telling you.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because you're not telling her.

[Ben Mandelker]

You're telling me of what I tell her later, because I tell her as 6:47, but I'm telling you now at 6:32. Good luck.

[Ronnie Caram]

Whatever. Do not roll your eyes at me, young lady. She goes, I didn't. I swear. She goes, listen, stop doing this. Huge difference. So now we cut to the boy, you know, the little. The guys playing there, and trays are being passed, and Jason has some goat cheese balls, and he goes up to a guest, and he's like, goat cheese balls? You're supposed to eat the bottom, too. It's like, why? Please stop talking like you're about to take a load from anyone. I was like, in the restaurant, Jason, this is not your only fan, sir.

[Ben Mandelker]

This is his, like, learning annex moment for how to go on only fans. So you're supposed to eat the bottom part, too, which is something I learned. And so then the guy's like, oh, yeah. He's like, oh, you don't. You don't want the Bottom part. He's like, it's not staking. He's like, okay, just grab the hole. The whole thing. Just grab it and just, like, rub it down and just put in your mouth, you know, bro, swallow it whole. That's what you're supposed to do.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, oh, why do I have a boner? I don't know, but it's gonna cost you $11. Damn it. So Marcus is like, wow. Duck and potato pistachio terrine. Right? Let me know how it is. Natalie, you know you want some of this duck and pistachio terrine. And Natalie, she's like, I can't believe em. Venus, I just came back, and then Marcus is like, demi, I saw you say back in the demi, as I love you. And then I was like, so you can say I love you to demi. And then I. I was like, oh, my God. It's so interesting that Kimberly doesn't care if I say I love you to Demi, because I'm the worst person ever for just having a friendship with him. And then he went over to get him, and then I was like, a big deal. Like, what am I supposed to do? I'm a. Oh, my God.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, my God. Like, Kim shouldn't have taken the bait in the first place, but I wish Natalie and Kim would just, like, stop fighting and realize the problem is Marcus, like it always is. And also split ends. That's more my issue. So Natalie's like, kimberly, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

But then Kimberly came back, and she said, I'm pathetic and stupid. And he's like, well, you know, broken clocks. She's like, I don't know what that means, but she's not letting it go.

[Ben Mandelker]

Marcus is like, literally, Regina George with a burn book, and she's throwing papers in the school and, like, taking a step back and letting everyone else fight about it, knowing that he was the ringleader the entire time. Like, so Venus is like, natalie, this is, like, really cold, but I've got a full section.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's doing it to their face, which isn't Regina George, which is the whole point of the burn book. I mean, I don't want to get too in the weeds with blood, but, I mean, come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Jason is offering more things. He's like, madam, would you like an amba number? What? What? Empanada. Empanada. Empanada, you idiot.

[Ronnie Caram]

In Canada? No, it's not a country, God damn it. Oh, sort him out, Chris, will you? I don't want to lose him, but he just doesn't take it seriously. I Mean, the man can't even pronounce whom. Empanada.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's so important to know the menu, to know what we're selling. It's like trying to sell a car not knowing what the model is, for goodness sake. I think Jason knows more about flashlights and penis pumps than he does my menu. He's like, well, we have penis pumps on the menu today. See, look at that. It's an empanada, not a penis pump.

[Ronnie Caram]

The menu also, I don't think has changed for 24 years. It is the exact. Do you want grilled salmon? Go there. Do you want a goat cheese balls? Go there.

[Ben Mandelker]

That's it.

[Ronnie Caram]

Tuna tartare. You can also get that. So Natalie is. She's like, oh, please go get Lisa a drink, Natalie. And Natalie's like, I'm for who? She goes, the dog. Lisa wants it for the dog. For donut. And Natalie's like, donut, the dog. Oh, my God. If I was a dog, which glass would I wear? Which glass would I want? I mean, I don't know. I'm a dog. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not a dog. How would I know? I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. Look for the right glass. Marcus never had to get Lisa a drink for her dog before. You people really don't work here, do you?

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, Marcus, like, what? Why? Why would you do that? He's like, I didn't do nothing. He's like, how did she know about the comment that I made? He's like, other people heard it. Other. He's such a. It's crazy how much of a he is. So she's like, do you know the things that she just called me? She said. She said, I'm obsessed with you and I'm pathetic and I'm so stupid. He's like, sorry. He's like, whatever. You guys fight now.

[Ronnie Caram]

All right, time for Lisa's speech. So everybody's cheering for her. And then on the side of the room, Kim's like, babe, you busy? He goes, yeah, so busy. Can I tell you what just happened? Cuz Natalie. She's like, how did she hear about that moment? And I was like, I don't know. Someone must have overheard it. Isn't that funny? She goes, no, babe, you need to tell her. You're the one who said it to me. He's like, but why?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She's.

[Ronnie Caram]

Because she feels like she can mention you and talk this way, and it's exactly what bothers me about her that she thinks she has access to you and can be like, come over here. This is what Kimberly did. Like, we're cutting that off right now. She no longer has access to you.

[Ben Mandelker]

Marcus is like, okay, was it ugly for you? She's like, I don't want to even have, like, no access. I don't have any type of conversation with you about me ever. Okay? None of that. He's like, well, I don't think she thinks that. She does think that, because she wouldn't have come up and she wouldn't have said that to you if she did. He didn't think that. He's like, oh, sorry, everyone. I have a speech. Welcome to sir 20 years ago, we opened these doors and we said, we come to this place for magic. We come to SIR to laugh, to cry, to care. Because we need that, all of us. That indescribable feeling that we get when the lights begin to dim and we go somewhere we've never been before. 4. Not to be entertained, but somehow reborn together. Welcome to SIR.

[Ronnie Caram]

And now for the entertainment for the evening. No offense, children. I would like to show you here. Donut the dog. Smoke bomb. It's Ken.

[Ben Mandelker]

It's Ken.

[Ronnie Caram]

It is Ken. Also, like, shut up, Ken. Nobody asked you. All right. Enjoy the goat cheese balls, losers. I would like to thank everyone from the In N Out staff who came to celebrate today. We love you.

[Ben Mandelker]

And I would like to point everyone to the new vestibule we have over by that wall. It talks. It's just like, Peter. Oh, it's Peter. Never mind. Never mind. So Guillermo's like, everyone, a new chapter for us revealed the future of SIR and he pulls a satin cloth off the wall, and there is a photo of the new staff.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is a terrible photo. This is terribly done. Who did this photo? Was it for free? Did. Did you. Did they pay you to do the photo? It's a horrible photo. Guys, come on. You can take better pictures on your iPhone. The lighting, the posing. This is terrible. Yeah, I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed for all of you. I was embarrassed for myself for supporting SIR So Audrey's like, wow, look at you, Chris. And he goes, yeah, I'm right next to. To Lisa. You got some competition with Lisa, babe.

[Ben Mandelker]

So now. Now after the party, Natalie is packing for passing Robles, and her gay Ryan is there, and she's like, what do you think about Das? And he's like, it's giving bat mitzvah. Like, that's so rude. Oh, my God. I didn't think I looked as old as 13. That's so obnoxious.

[Ronnie Caram]

And he's like. So she's talking about how she's going to Paso Robles and she's gonna Venuses and everyone's gonna take a couple of cars. So he's like, do you want. She's like, do you want to come in the bag? He's like, oh, my God. Honestly. So now we go to Chris and Jason's and he's showing Cheech.

[Ben Mandelker]

I think that he's like, oh.

[Ronnie Caram]

He's like, hey, Cheech. To his cousin. Yeah. He's like, hey, Cheech, remember this little costume I wore? And he shows up his phone and it's a picture with a huge fake penis hanging from his pants. And Chris is like, yeah, rock out with a cockat. You still have that thing? God, I remember the. Remember the best time we had that thing was in my mouth. Let's do it again. Do it again.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

Replay.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So basically he's going to. They're going to bring it on the trip. And Jason's like, I think it'd be, like, hilarious to like, put it in Shane's bed, right? It's like, dude, you got to put it in Shane's bed. Yeah, let's put it in Shane's bed. And then he get scared and be like, shane, it's okay. We can, like, hug him and then, like, kind of take our shirts off and kind of like rub down and like, be good content, you know, for the of.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then Kim is packing and Demi's there, and they're talking about, like, what they're gonna wear. And Kim's like, I literally ordered like 400 worth of things yesterday on Amazon. She's like, yeah, good, because you make like so much money as her. Like, how are you doing that? Where are you getting 400? Like, no, I didn't 50 last night.

[Ben Mandelker]

I did the after pay thing where you can pay later. So I'll be. I'll be paid off by next June. I was like, oh, can't wait for season two with Kim. And she's in massive Amazon debt.

[Ronnie Caram]

After pay on Amazon to get close for your glamorous trip to we will this show.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Debbie goes, love that for you. Love that. Love your future dad. Love that. So Kim's asking if she packed and Demi's like, no, I haven't. I haven't started anything. Like, I came here to check on you because, like, so Marcus broke up with you for the day. Like, what's happening? Because, like, if you're going to break up. Just do it on camera, am I right? She's like, I don't know, like I'm so angry right now. Like how the whole thing happened because you guys like left the other day. You guys were like fine, like gross. So she says if Marcus and Kim are still breaking up and like making up in the back alley at certain like 20 years. I just hope I'm not around to see that cuz I can't deal. Cut to Demi in 20 years with a ponytail and a mustache.

[Ronnie Caram]

Be like hey, I'm Demi. I'm being here.

[Ben Mandelker]

Basically furniture at this point just morphs into like Peter the curse.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Kim goes over this whole stupid story and she's like yeah. And then if Natalie tries to pull anything today, I mean I'm not going to engage with her and he better not either. And then he did this whole thing again. Like what do you want me to say? Fudge you bitch. And I'm like yeah, okay, yeah, you know what? So she's.

[Ben Mandelker]

His perspective is maybe like you're looking too crazy by not allowing me to do this. Or maybe I'm going to look the crazy like a bad guy by not talking to her. But like guys, America, I'm just a girl. I cry a lot, I feel a lot. I love the Disney Channel. And he thinks he forgets that sometimes like you know, a girl girls allowed to be emotionals. So that's just who I am, girl.

[Ronnie Caram]

So then over at Venus's everyone's meeting up and jumping into the cars and stuff. So they split into the cars and it's going to be 5 and 4. 5 Venus, Natalie, Audrey and Chris. And Jason's like holy nat. And that's like oh my God. Are you going to be able to see from the back? Cuz I get the front.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Marcus is. He's cuz Marcus and Natalie are in different cars and Marcus is like I'm like about to go on a trip with a bunch of psychos. Me and Kimberly are broken up right now and I have to ride three hours in a car with her. Like you got Natalie's crazy ass. Venus's crazy ass. I need Shane or I'm not gonna be able to make it to Paso Robles. Which is their way of explaining why Shane. Shane Davis is on this trip since he doesn't work at sir. Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they split into two cards and both cars. Like the other guy's stupid, the other car sucks. That car is really cool. And Jason is driving one of them and they're talking about how hungry they are. And Audrey's like, on the way to Paso, there's this like, hotel called the Madonna Inn. It's like literally so cute. It looks like a Lisa Vanderpump like wet dream from the 80s. We've got to go there.

[Ben Mandelker]

Jason goes, yeah, Jason goes, that's supposed to be like the actor or the. The singer Madonna. I was like, okay, this guy really, we thought he was dumb. But whoever refers to Madonna as an actor first?

[Ronnie Caram]

Really, as a few cells, maybe he meant Jesus's mom. She was known to do a little community theater.

[Ben Mandelker]

Listen, I love me some Madonna. Love Madonna. But I'm not saying she's an actor first. I'm barely even saying she's a singer first. But like, we're not leading with that.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's Madonna first.

[Ben Mandelker]

She's just personality first.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they're like, oh my God, who's the most likely to throw a drink on the trip? And Shane's like, nah, for sure. And back in the other car, Audrey's saying, yeah, you know the good thing about the other car? Shane will tell us everything that they say. Cuz he's a goth.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, like, well, I have, by the way, I have to open some ranch, guys. Hold on, I'm opening some ranch. And Chris is like, oh, is that Rob Rock though? Yeah, what's wrong with some like Rob Rock? It's like, whoa, everything. Then Audre goes, everything's better raw. And everyone's like, oh my God. Cuz they b. They had sex. They finally had sex. Audrey and Chris.

[Ronnie Caram]

And they broke a bed frame. And this sounds like they had wild sex, but we all know that was a badly put together. I. So they break very easily. I can attest to that. So then they're talking. They have to get out because they are at the Madonna Inn now. And Jason's like, yeah, I gotta stretch my dick. So they get out and it's crazy. This hotel is fucking crazy. It's a pink motel. Everything's pink in there. And it does look like Lisa Van. I mean, Lisa Vanderpump, probably. It's like Lisa Vanderpump's first apartment.

[Ben Mandelker]

I've actually been really wanting to go there for several years because it's apparently like it's such a thing. And sadly, I feel like the only way I'm going to get there is by watching this sad show. So they're like, welcome to Madonna and yay. And they walk all around and we see they go down to this bathroom that's like, that's like stonework Urinals. That are wide and you pee together, and they're all kind of like, oh, my God, this is crazy. There's like. And Venus is like. I mean, I feel like this urinal is, like, really great for male bonding. I should just, like, get all the boys on here, just line it up and see what's going on downtown. There's, like, nothing blocking our dicks from making eye contact. And I was like, wow, I really feel old. Because now we have a whole generation of men growing up who never knew what it was like to have a line of urinals together that didn't have the little dividers, you know, Every time. Women may not know this, but in the men's bathroom, if there's, like, a wall of urinals, there's like, a little divider in between each of them. And it used to not be that way. And every time I see that little divider, I always say to myself, you know, who did that? We did that. The gays. They were like, stop looking at my dick. I was like, that's us. That was. That was our last.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's called sightseeing. Sorry. You say gays killed it. I say Republicans killed it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, of course it was Republicans, but I was like, hey, come on now.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, I know. Those bastards. They totally robbed us. And Chris is like, oh, my God, this place is crazy. When I think of this song, Pink Pony Club. This is what I think of. You work next to the Abbey. You are literally just at the Abbey. Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Oh, God. Yeah. So they're just looking around and everything. And finally they all sit down at a table, and Jason, he sees a goblet. I think he wants to say chalice, but instead he goes, wow, look at this chisel.

[Ronnie Caram]

He goes. He goes, yeah, look at this chalet, you guys, look at this chisel. Look at the shallot. Is that how you say it? And they're like, goblet. He goes, goblet. So the waiter comes over and he's like, hi, welcome to the Madonna Inn. May I get things started for you? It's like, call the police now, because I think we're gonna need them.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know who the. Is this guy Jason's like, I know what I want. Steak and eggs. So they. Or they order stuff and everything. And Kim's like, if I got whipped cream, Marcus would throw me across the table. Which I don't understand the correlation. Maybe he's. That's weird or something. I don't know. The whipped cream trigger.

[Ronnie Caram]

Or maybe he doesn't let her Eat whipped cream. I don't know. There's a lot of clues in this relationship. I don't. I don't like it.

[Ben Mandelker]

Something weird's happening. But Demi's like, I can't picture Kim actually leaving Marcus for good. I think it would, like, take her walking in on him like a goat or something. And then even then, I think it would just be like a week that they might be broken up.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So Marcus makes a speech where he's like, guys, everyone's got their drink now. So I just want to say, like, we all have different relationships right now, but, like, going into this trip, like, it'd be awesome if we could just put the behind us. You're the one starting the.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes, you start all of it. All of it. Yeah. Well, we're gonna be like a happy, loving family and focus on friendship, and then the love that we have for each other, like, new to me, like, that it even ever existed. Right, guys? So then Marcus is like, yeah, and if you guys are down, let's just have, like, a good time. Let's just, like, start off on, like, a good fit. Yeah. Stay all. Cheers. And then Demi, of course, could be the opposite of a good foot.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. Demi's like, guys, but like, everyone, you guys should have fun. But don't forget we're working tomorrow, so let's be on our best behavior and do our jobs and, like, make Lisa happy because, like, we can still have fun, right?

[Ben Mandelker]

And then Chris is like, yeah, Shane's living his dream on this vacate cuz he doesn't even have to work. Yeah, it doesn't work. I apologize.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they talk about some video shoot. Marcus asks how the video shoot went, and Chris is like, yeah, we got really into it. And Andre goes, yeah, me and Shane have, like, two insanely talented friends that asked us to be in their music video. So, like, you know, like, you know, so many people got their start for music videos, like Jayla Channing, Tatum. Like, other people. Like, I could be the star of the female Magic Mike and we could call it Magic Maria. Casting hit me up.

[Ben Mandelker]

And so Audrey's like, yeah, the video show was amazing. I was wet the whole day. And everyone's like, she's like, no, no, no, not that way. Like, actually wet. Like, I was, like, really wet. And like. Because, like, the idea of the music video was that, like, I was coming out of these. The ocean. So I was, like, wet and coming. It was crazy. And then we had a date at SIR And I was just like, coming to the date wet and then at the beach, we had to get. I was like, audrey, please, please reconsider your words here, because everyone's getting the wrong idea. So she had to kiss.

[Ronnie Caram]

She was like, jason, are you okay? He's like, I primed.

[Ben Mandelker]

So, yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So we see clips of this video. We see clips of this video. And first of all, she's coming out of the water. And of course, she's wet because she's coming out of the water, which I love that she explained 10 times. So she's coming out and she looks, like, so worried. She's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if that was the look they were going for, but they're like, come out of the water looking extremely. Like you're crying. Come out of the water. Look like you're sobbing. And then Shane's there, and then they see each other, and then they make out, and they've got chemistry. Gotta say it.

[Ben Mandelker]

They do. And it's.

[Ronnie Caram]

This is these. It's this couple. This is the couple, guys. I'm saying it right now. I learned it from a music video we're playing. Probably going to see on YouTube.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yes. Because then they wind up going on a date. It's sir. And I'm like, oh, this is the. This is the nightmare version of Little Mermaid where you give up your voice and crawl out of the water. Finally have legs only to have to go to sir. It's like you gave up your voice for that. So, you know, Chris was there at the shoot. He moved to monitor. And she felt like. Audrey felt really bad, you know, because, like, he had to watch her kiss another guy. But then Angelica. However, Angelica did not know that Shane did this. And now she's, like, really upset. And now she's like, I wish we weren't even here, like, hearing about the. Oh, my God. Like, she's giving all these looks on the side. She's pissed.

[Ronnie Caram]

Girl, you still live with your boyfriend.

[Ben Mandelker]

Stop it.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Angelica's like, oh, my God, the faster we can get through this, the faster we can go to work and not be here, where I have to hear about people. People kissing that I don't like me with my broken back. And they're like, why are you so.

[Ben Mandelker]

Excited to go to work?

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, anything but hearing this. So she's like, yeah, I get the industry. But, like, was there really not anyone else you could have chosen? I've been, like, dated this person for two minutes.

[Ben Mandelker]

He has, like, a washing machine, and we, like, went to the beach together, and now this, like, oh, my God. So they all, like, everyone sees that over in Angelica's corner where she's like, you know, commiserating. Commiserating with Natalie, by the way.

[Ronnie Caram]

You know, we got that word wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

I know. I was going to mention it on our next Traders thing.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's not crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, in my mind, I. I thought Rob had said console, not feel sorry for. So therefore, I was like, he didn't even get it right. And then everyone's like, no, he got it right. And then you looked it up and he got it right.

[Ronnie Caram]

And I'm like, well, I thought we're talking about the traders, by the way, if people don't know. But when he said, you're commiserating, I thought commiserating meant, like, you're talking to people. Like, you're. You're discussing something with people. I didn't know. It means that you felt pity for people.

[Ben Mandelker]

I thought it was kind of like someone going through shit.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm gonna have to apologize twice this week. There you go. There's my kind of apology. There's my admission. My admission that I'm wrong.

[Ben Mandelker]

I felt like it was like someone's, like, going through something, and so you're sort of like, going through it with them a bit, you know? But, like, I just didn't really. Like, I never really thought of it as something like, you feel sorry for someone. Like, oh, I'm of kind commiserating with you. But it's more like. I think it's like a different way of saying you feel sorry. Like, you are. You are feeling something with them.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, I didn't. I thought it was like, if you see a group of people talking, you're like, oh, my God, look at them over there commiserating about the. The good old days.

[Ben Mandelker]

Well, that could be a proper use of it. It depends on the overall context. I thought it was conversation.

[Ronnie Caram]

So, anyway, we were wrong. Okay? We were wrong. So they noticed that Angelica's all mad and now he's like, oh, really? Like, what the. Like, oh, my God, I'm so done trying to figure out what's even happening by the hour. Like, she still lives with her ex boyfriend. Like, what?

[Ben Mandelker]

So then. So now it's like a thing. Because it's like one half the table is like this, and the other half was like that. And Natalie's like, that's so weird. Like, were they not, like, silent at the table? Like, something's wrong with Angelica. Like, I don't even know. And Chris is like, yeah, she's possessed. And Natalie's like, yeah, she's, like, miserable. Like, what the is she upset about? Does she have, like, a broken back or something? Like, it's Kryzar. So they finally get to Paso Robles, and they start to go into their. They go into their rooms and everything, and they're calling out their rooms, and they're all excited, and Chris is like, whoa. I knew Lisa was gonna put in the work for us. I mean, this place is beautiful because Chris and Audrey get the couple's room, which does not go over so well.

[Ronnie Caram]

For Kim because, yeah, Kim, break up with your boyfriend at the right times. Cast trips are not the days to do it. But it was nice seeing a couple not get the castroom. Because, I mean, a couple did get it, but, you know, the couple that's like, oh, we've been together forever, so we automatically get the good room. Yeah, I hate that shit.

[Ben Mandelker]

Kim was so mad.

[Ronnie Caram]

So they all split up. The guys get the bunks and the bunk room, and they're like, yeah, fucking sick. Yeah, it's like, the only Bravo show where people are excited to get that room. And so they split up, get rooms and all that good stuff. And then the girls are talking, and Kim's like, yeah, I'm, like, so tired from the car. Like, everybody's so high energy. Just shut up. I'm, like, over accumulated. That's the phrase for the trip. Over accumulated. Tell your friends. So JLo.

[Ben Mandelker]

Iconic. So then Audrey and Natalie are. Are in the bathroom, and I was like, did you notice how Marcus doesn't even really acknowledge me? And Audrey's like, yeah. Do you think it's because of Kim? Wasn't there something at sir the other night where she, like, came up to you in the bar? Yeah, she came, like, into the Garden Bar and, like, starts screaming at me and, like, that I'm pathetic and, like, stupid and, like, obsessed with Marcus. It's like, whoa. And Audrey's like, yeah, that's just crazy, because, like, right now they don't seem good. Yeah, apparently they're broken up, but, like, they sat next to each other at lunch, but they're, like, not staying in the same room. Like, make it make sense.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Kim's like, I'm trying to be positive, but it's really hard. So then Natalie and Audrey are talking about, why are those three staying in the same room? And Natalie's like, I was thinking, Angelica has a problem with you because of Chris and Jason. And Kim is now loyal to Angelica. Like, it's all so crazy.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, they're like attached at the hip. The three of them? Yeah, they were like, having a conversation, like in private conversations at the table, which is like, very rude. Like, let's all talk to each other, right? Yeah.

[Ronnie Caram]

So Audrey's like, I mean, yeah, I think that's totally fine. But, like, if it's people sitting two feet away from you, like, that's rude. Then, like, it's a distance thing. Like, if someone's wrong, then just say something's wrong. Like, why do you have to do it? Like, if you come to like one foot, you better say something's wrong. But if you're like five feet away, then that's cool, you don't have to talk about it. Three and a half, maybe. What are tables?

[Ben Mandelker]

So Kim is like, you know what? I feel like Audrey and Chris, they just met each other and they have the couple suite. I'm just like, the couple. Sweet. Should go for the couple that's like, broken up and like dragging everyone down into their cesspool of a relationship. Like, that's what the mat the king size bed is for, you know, sort of stings a little bit.

[Ronnie Caram]

So now the boys are playing cornhole. I mean, God damn. Okay, fine, I'll go on the only fans. I'll go on the only fans. My God, I've never been pressured this hard.

[Ben Mandelker]

Mark is like, yeah, Indiana, I'm from the Corn State. You can't with me. Jason, you gotta pay. Put it in the hole, dog. Put in the hole. I mean, they really. They really telegraph what's going on with them. So then Kim is like, guys, like, how do you feel about Jason being like, right next door? And Angelica's like, I mean, at this point, I just want him to stay away from me. He's so gross. I don't want anything to do with him. Like, honestly, by the way, Israel and I, we met at a cafe and he showed me some things that completely grossed me out. And I was so proud of Israel, who's been in like, like in the background for a few seasons of this show. And he finally has a scene where he can be impactful in a hat. In a hat.

[Ronnie Caram]

And that's what really matters, because Israel loves his hats. So he's like, hey, guys, I did use the link that they posted on their story because they both posted the link on the story. And Angelica's like, oh, my God, you went to the Onlyfans. He goes, yep, I sure did. And she's like, oh, my God, is this like an only fans that they have together or something? Separate. And he goes, well, it's like them with two guys. Okay. And then here's the headline. Okay, this is the post. Go to the boys back to. Got the boys back together, oiled up more than ever. Every inch of our throbbing, oiled up, rubbing each other down everywhere. Close ups of our oiled up and saggy balls all the way up to our ass. And Angelica's like, ah, saggy balls.

[Ben Mandelker]

Is that like. Is saggy Like I understand saying like throbbing, but saggy balls. I feel like that's what you say about old people, right? Like it's like, like a big balls.

[Ronnie Caram]

But like, who says saggy balls? Like a kink.

[Ben Mandelker]

Can you run this through chat GPT just to clean it up a little bit. Jeez. Like let's, like, let's make it sexier than. Yeah, check out my saggy balls and my skin that looks like a melted cake. So, so then Angelica's like, she's like, basically they're like lubing each other up naked and massaging each other. And that's just like weird to me. Like I'm going to like, look, I'm going to read you this caption. So while they're still out playing cornhole, she reads it again. She goes, all three of your.

[Ronnie Caram]

She goes, let me read you this, captain. It is disgusting. And it cuts to the guys going, yeah, get them all three in the same hole. Yeah, okay.

[Ben Mandelker]

All three of your favorite boys back together. All three of our throbbing and spread open holes, rubbing each other down all over boiled up saggy balls and stroking and the girl's like, they're cracking up. This is, this is some nasty.

[Ronnie Caram]

I didn't know it was this because I mentioned last week I went to Jason's and paid 11 like an idiot and it was just him without his shirt. I didn't see any like the guys playing with each other's butt butts and jerking each other off. I mean, geez, I want my 11 back.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, well, they're like, that's what I'm talking about. And Demi's like, I don't want to see, but I feel like I have to see an Angelica's. Like it's linked in their bio. Like I've already blocked most of them. And Demi's like, they link this in their bio. Oh my God, does Audrey know? Does. And they're like, we don't know. So over at the pool, Venus and Audrey are just like enjoying the pool. Like they have no idea what's happening in the rooms.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, they're like, I Like, sun. I like Santiago. And then it cuts back, and Kim's like, oh, my God, you should know before you get in a relationship or get interested in somebody, what they're doing. I mean, you have every right to know that. Well, she does know that they're on the only fans, so all she has to do is pay her damn money to do the research.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah, well, she's focusing on the sun right now instead of the places where the sun don't shine. So Audrey is like, I really love the direction everything is going in with me and Chris. Like, but how would you feel about the person you're seeing saying comments like, babe, your ass is looking so good right now. You know? Like, I don't love that. Like, I don't want to push. Put pressure on where we're at. Like, we're having so much fun, and we're getting to know each other. But, like, I'm also searching for more romantic comments. I'm like, did you see this guy? What about this guy says he's gonna walk around saying anything other than, babe, your ass looks great right now.

[Ronnie Caram]

The most romantic thing he's gonna say is, how are you? Oh, I'm good. I just swallowed my cousin's load this morning. How about you? What do you expect? He's a working man. And Kim's like, yeah, she's having fun, but, like, the minute she's emotionally invested, then that's her man.

[Ben Mandelker]

So Angelica's like, I mean, if my man was naked lubing up his cousin, I don't want anything to do with you. Sorry. I was like, that is a quote. That is a quote right there.

[Ronnie Caram]

So cut to Venus and Audrey, and they're talking about whether, you know, Chris could be more romantic. And Audrey's, you know, saying all the TV things like, oh, my God, it's just like, my walls are going up because I don't feel like she's trying to play this whole, like, reality TV thing. Meanwhile, the guy's like, his cousin on Only Fans. I can't. I love this storyline. I love it.

[Ben Mandelker]

So amazing. I was like, oh, my God. This is the first time that Bravo has really teetered into incest. Although technically we had Mary Cosby and her grandfather husband. But, like, this is more like. I don't know. This feels like. This feels. Feels like a. A destination for the show that we always knew was gonna come. And here it is. It's arrived.

[Ronnie Caram]

It's definitely. It's definitely at least hot incest. I mean, Mary and her grandfather is disgusting. This is Hot.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. So Audrey's talking about how she's put up her walls, and she's just like, you know, she wants to. Like, this is what she does. And Venus is like, do you think that, like, maybe you're feeling this way because, like, you become intimate with him? She goes, yeah, I felt weird. I felt like when I was. Was having sex with him, I was sort of having sex with Jason. Why did I get that sensation? I don't know. So she is saying that Chris has a whole decade on me, and he should have, in those 10 years, learned what the definition of romance is. So she wants this guy to be night in shining armor. It's like, ma', am, just because he looks like the guy from Tangled doesn't mean he is. It's not a place.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah. So, yeah, she's. She's wanting a little too much too quick from this out of nowhere. Yeah, she's wanting. Yeah. Something that she should know she's not going to get, but all youth, you know? Right. So then Kim is watching the video with Demi on their phones in the room, and Demi starts freaking out, like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 13 minutes long. I thought you meant 13 inches. So Demi's explaining it.

[Ben Mandelker]

She.

[Ronnie Caram]

She's like, okay, there's four guys. Two are cousin Jason, who are cousins, completely naked. Like, not even socks. Like, seriously. And there's, like, a lot of massaging and a lot of butts. And I've seen everyone's penis, and now they're massaging each other. Oh, my God. Now it's even worse. Now they're in the shower together. She just throws her phone.

[Ben Mandelker]

And Angelica's like, did they actually perform incest? And Demi's like, there's definitely incest. They were all touching each other. And Kim's like, oh, my God, my heart, my heart, my heart. Oh, my God. She's not okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jayla's about to die. Sorry, that's me. I'm about to die. Angelica's like, oh, my God. Audrey was, like, a very cool girl when it came to these two having an only fans. But I'm like, wondering, like, would you be the same cool girl if I came to incest? Which again, is.

[Ronnie Caram]

Oh, my God, you guys.

[Ben Mandelker]

Real good existential question.

[Ronnie Caram]

You guys, just please put on my tombstone, don't be mad at the rocks that I got. And that brings us to the end of Vanderpump Rules.

[Ben Mandelker]

Thank you all for.

[Ronnie Caram]

I'm into it. How can people not be into this show. There's a full blown cousin's storyline. Come on.

[Ben Mandelker]

Yeah. It's so funny. And honestly, like doing recapping this on the heels of Salt Lake City, like Salt Lake City kind of like drained a little bit of the life out of me and then this is just so fun and funny the whole way through. I. I just. I don't want the show to get canceled. Come on, people. Support. Support your. Your local carnivals.

[Ronnie Caram]

Yeah, Seriously.

[Ben Mandelker]

So good.

[Ronnie Caram]

All right, well, this has been a great time. We will talk to you guys later. Be sure to go get tickets for the Golden Crappies coming February 27th in Los Angeles at watch what crappens.com and we'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

[Ben Mandelker]

Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison Kate King. It's always a party on Allison Block.

[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

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[Ben Mandelker]

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[Ronnie Caram]

She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys.

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[Ronnie Caram]

Today lunch was great, but this traffic is awful. Um, can we stop at a bathroom? Are you alright? I keep having stomach issues after eating like diarrhea, gas and bloating, abdominal pain.

[Ben Mandelker]

And sometimes oily stools.

[Ronnie Caram]

Sound familiar? Those stomach issues may actually be a pancreas issue called exocrine pancreatic insufficiency or epi. Creon. Panchrelipase may help manage epi. Creon is a prescription medicine used to treat people who can't digest food normally because their pancreas doesn't make enough enzymes. Creon may increase your chance of fibrosing colonopathy, a rare bowel disorder. Tell your doctor if you have a history of intestinal blockage or scarring or thickening of your bowel wall.

[Ben Mandelker]

If you are allergic to pork, or.

[Ronnie Caram]

If you have gout, kidney problems or worsening of painful swollen joints, call your doctor if you have any unusual or severe gastrointestinal symptoms or allergic reactions. Take Creon as directed by your doctor and always with food. Do not chew capsules, as this may cause mouth irritation. Other side effects may include blood sugar changes, gas, dizziness, sore throat and cough. These are not all the side effects of Creon. Call 8639110 or visit creoninfo.com to learn more. That's creoninfo. Com. I'm asking my doctor about epi and if Creon could help.