#3190 Vanderpump Rules S12E08: This Too Shall Paso Robles

Summary

Watch What Crappens Podcast Recap

Episode #3190 – Vanderpump Rules S12E08: "This Too Shall Paso Robles"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: January 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie dish out their signature blend of Bravo fandom and razor-sharp satire as they recap Vanderpump Rules Season 12, Episode 8—which centers on the cast's trip to Paso Robles for the “Women in Wine” (WIIW) conference. The episode is packed with over-the-top group antics, awkward cousin-related OnlyFans drama, kitchen chaos, friendship feuds, skinny dipping, and a series of escalating squabbles all filtered through Ben and Ronnie’s campy, irreverent lens.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

brushes with Bravo "greatness" (02:38–06:26)

• Ben and Ronnie share a story about a night out at SUR, where they ran into several of the cast, including the "OnlyFans Eyebrow Twins," Chris and Jason.
• Ronnie bemoans being left out of a group photo but blames his own manners ("I'm not a row-picture kind of taker.") and gets ribbed by Ben.
• The hosts joke about Guillermo, SUR manager, being the unlikely photographer for their group shot.
• Touch of reality: The cast remains humble—Angelica references still driving a Toyota and not being "famous," with only modest social influencer followings.
• Quote:
  Ben: "The most important part is that Guillermo took the photo for us. So this was a very special photo because there was a maestro of sorts behind the camera." (05:14)

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Paso Robles: Wine, Women, and Cousin OnlyFans Awkwardness (06:26–12:38)

• The trip centers on the WIIW event, which quickly becomes more about gossiping over OnlyFans than actual wine.
• Main thread: The group is abuzz over Demi, Kim, and Angelica discovering an "incestuous" OnlyFans video featuring Chris and Jason.
• Demi’s review: She watched "45 seconds" and was "scarred." The general reaction is both fascination and disgust, laced with a lot of comedic discomfort and eyerolling over faux-puritanical shock.
• Quote:
  Demi (as recapped by hosts): "I need to go to church. I only watched 45 seconds of it. I can't even imagine all 13 minutes of it." (08:09)
• Comparisons fly—Game of Thrones comes up, and Ronnie shares a tongue-in-cheek family anecdote about real-life cousin marriages.
• Memorable Ronnie moment:
  "If you can marry your first cousin and have children that go on to own real estate companies, then you can certainly make $57 a load on OnlyFans with your cousin. Why should it be any different for the straights and the gays?" (10:29)

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Kitchen Antics & The Mushroom Meltdown (13:09–16:10)

• The cast tries to cook dinner together, with Demi taking charge of making mushrooms and getting increasingly irritated with others’ interference—especially from Chris (one of the "incest twins").
• Arguments around "mushroom timing," oil, and general culinary chaos mirror the group’s dysfunction.
• Ronnie and Ben hilariously narrate the tension:
  "Don't you need oil?"
  Demi (as recapped): "No, there's liquid in the mushrooms... Get the hell out of here. I don't want to think about mushroom heads or oil or... You get the hell out of here." (15:16)
• Chaos is a theme, even with simple appliances ("Oh my god, it's a blender. What do we do?").

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Hot Tub Confessions & Trauma Bonding (17:46–23:14)

• The gang migrates to the hot tub, where awkwardness peaks.
• Angelica, still disturbed, vents to Shane about the cousin content: "I just saw some pretty alarming things on the Internet... Jason and Chris, naked, oiling each other up, spreading their butts open." (18:23)
• Shane responds with his own wild story of cousin "education," and the pair bond over mutual semi-incest trauma.
• Angelica jokes: “Did I really just dodge one incestuous man to lean into the arms of another?” (19:46)
• Memorable comedic advice:
  Ronnie (paraphrased in character): "Spread butt cheeks, don't spread rumors." (21:29)

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Relationship Dynamics Unravel—Feuds, Forgiveness, and "Brave Faces" (23:54–28:57)

• Natalie frets about being iced out by the others, pushing the “brave face” narrative but constantly veering into drama.
• The guys in the hot tub keep the mood light, riffing with sexual innuendo and more cousin jokes.
• Classic group therapy moment:
  Natalie (paraphrased): "If they don't wanna smooth it out, it's gonna be wrinkled. It's a wrinkled relationship." (24:17)
• Demi repeatedly claims, deadpan, that she’s “having a good time” while making it clear she isn’t.
• In the kitchen, mushrooms are still "screaming"—a running metaphor for the group's internal chaos. (26:08)

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Dinner Table Philosophies & “Big Ziti” (29:20–31:33)

• The meal turns philosophical: What is ziti? Is it the fleshlight of the pasta world?
• Natalie confides that Jason standing up for her means everything (cue much mockery).
• Ben’s phone, confused by the word “ziti,” unintentionally shades his jokes.
• Quote:
  "Ziti is just the fleshlight of the pasta world." (30:14)
  (Hosts in total agreement on the absurdity.)

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The Next Day: Working the WIIW Event for Lisa Vanderpump (32:33–49:55)

• Recovering from the previous night, everyone preps for the wine event. The banter is punctuated by riffs about hair, lettuce-based fragrances ("Iceberg by Foxy"), and general mayhem.
• Lisa Vanderpump arrives, presiding with her trademark grandeur and put-downs. She’s described as “the queen, the icon, absolute national icon of the United States of America.”
• Venus fully leans into gold-digging ambitions, joking, "If somebody who owns this estate wants to come swoop me off my feet and make me never have to work another day in my life, I would be totally fine with that. You want to meet me? Eat my ass. That's what we say in West Hollywood." (45:16)
• At the WIIW event, the cast's flirtation with guests is both intentionally campy and unintentionally cringey.
  Lisa (as recapped): "I'm trying to make a speech, but now at this point, lady's like, oh, hi, Chris. Oh, my God. Are you guys even 21?" (49:26)

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The Chris-Audrey Drama Peaks (50:37–58:47)

• Audrey overhears Chris talking about going to Bali to "f*** mad bitches" with his cousin, sparking new distrust.
• The group openly questions Chris’ intentions, with Ben and Ronnie noting his resume: bartender, reality dating show alum, “muscle clad,” actor model—"all signs point to boy."
• Sober analysis is mixed with relentless mockery: "The important thing to know is when you meet a boy, just know they're a boy and then just, you know, call it a day. It's like, don't be mad at a Snickers for being a Snickers. Eat the Snickers. Snickers satisfies you." (43:02)
• Chris doubles down: “I’m gonna be talking to bitches, but like, I’m not gonna be fucking them. Not all of them. I mean, come on. That’s not the point of the trip.” (58:33)

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Pool Party, Party Games & Who’s Sharing Their Sandwich? (59:08–64:14)

• The group plays “Squirt,” a squirt gun game designed to air grievances about secrets, drunkenness, and funniness.
• Venus is pushed by friends to make a move on a cute guy at the bar but is shy. Ben and Ronnie dissect this with classic gay-bar-life observations.
• More drunken, goofy energy; everyone’s making out, roleplaying, and, according to hosts, “behaving like a horny orgy on OnlyFans.”
• Quote:
  "If this was all some OnlyFans content, we'd be rich right now, man." (73:07)
• Demi finally admits she hates mushrooms, the root of her weeklong angst.

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Final Key Segments

1. The Breathalyzer Game & “Get Venus Laid” Campaign (69:06–73:27)

• The gang all breathalyze themselves before going out—an elaborate germ-sharing ritual.
• The straight guys try to help Venus (gay castmate) break his cold streak; role-playing ensues, and Venus winds up kissing almost everyone.

2. The Big Teaser & "Character Assassination" (74:26–74:45)

• A flash-forward tease hints at major fallout over the cousin-onlyfans rumor.
  "That comment is like character assassinating." (74:28)
• Ben tags: "Just being on the show is character assassinating!"

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Notable Quotes & Timestamp Highlights

• 05:14 – Ben: "The most important part is that Guillermo took the photo for us. So this was a very special photo because there was a... maestro behind the camera."
• 08:09 – Demi (recap): "I need to go to church. I only watched 45 seconds of it. I can't even imagine all 13 minutes of it."
• 10:29 – Ronnie: "If you can marry your first cousin... you can certainly make $57 a load on OnlyFans with your cousin."
• 15:16 – Demi (recap): "Don't you need oil?...I don't want to think about mushroom heads or oil or... You get the hell out of here."
• 19:46 – Angelica: "Did I really just dodge one incestuous man to lean into the arms of another?"
• 21:29 – Ben (paraphrased mentor advice): "Spread butt cheeks, don't spread rumors."
• 26:08 – Demi (recap): "Guess who else is screaming? These fucking mushrooms."
• 30:14 – Ben: "Ziti is just the fleshlight of the pasta world."
• 43:02 – Ronnie: "Don't be mad at a Snickers for being a Snickers. Eat the Snickers."
• 45:16 – Venus (recap): "You get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the crimp of the crimp... Eat my ass."
• 58:33 – Chris (recap): "I'm gonna be talking to bitches, but...I'm not gonna be fucking them. Not all of them."
• 73:07 – Chris (recap): "If this was all some OnlyFans content, we'd be rich right now, man."
• 74:28 – Audrey (recap): "That comment is like character assassinating."
• 74:45 – Ben: "You're on Vanderpump Rules. Just being on the show is character assassinating."

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Memorable Moments

• The group’s horror and humor regarding the cousin OnlyFans leak is the running gag of the recap.
• The kitchen chaos with mushrooms and blender drama is a slapstick highlight.
• Venus’s journey from shy to nearly making out with half the group, with straight friends’ “support,” is celebrated for its sweet (and silly) camaraderie.
• Everyone’s attempts to make sense of “baked ziti” and the metaphorical implications become a running comedic thread.
• Lisa Vanderpump’s regal appearance at the wine event, and the way the cast turns the event into a flirt-fest, provides quintessential Bravo-watching-in-jest material.

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

Layered with camp, inside jokes, and Bravo history, Ben and Ronnie’s recap is a raucous, lovingly mocking dive into everything ridiculous, cringey, and oddly endearing about Vanderpump Rules' latest adventures. For newbies or superfans alike, this recap amplifies the best Bravo drama—and reminds listeners: sometimes all you need to survive cousin-incest scandals, hot tub fights, and pasta confusion is a big laugh and a good group photo (even if Guillermo took it).

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Useful Segment Timestamps

• 02:38 — Bravo cast sighting at SUR; group photo saga
• 06:26 — Paso Robles & OnlyFans cousin video reveal
• 13:09 — Chaos in the kitchen: mushroom meltdown
• 17:46 — Hot tub confessionals: incest trauma bonding
• 23:54 — Brave faces, hot tub drama, group therapy
• 29:20 — Philosophizing about “big ziti”
• 32:33 — Lisa presides: prepping for the wine event
• 50:37 — Chris/Audrey: Bali trip drama, trust issues
• 59:08 — Pool party, party games, role play
• 69:06 — Breathalyzer sharing, “Get Venus Laid” arc
• 74:26 — Incest rumor fallout teased

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In Summary

This episode perfectly encapsulates why Watch What Crappens remains the gold standard of Bravo recaps: no moment is too lowbrow to analyze, no cast member too infamous to lovingly lampoon, and no OnlyFans scandal too awkward to turn into a running joke. Whether you're team ziti, team incest-trauma, or just here for the Lisa V one-liners, this episode delivers non-stop laughs and biting insight, all in the original, over-the-top Crappens tone.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[B]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[A]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[B]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[A]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[C]

Love y'. All. Watch what happens. Watch what cr. What happens when there's so much happens. Watch what happens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[D]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Happens. I'm Ronnie. That is Ben Uni over there. Hello, Ben. What you doing?

[C]

Hi. How's it going? What's going on?

[D]

Good. Nothing. It is Vanderpump Rules Day. But before we get to that, we have the Golden Crappies coming up on February 27th in the glamorous Hollywood. So please come. It's going to be so much fun. Voting begins next week. We're getting the ballots together this weekend. You will see voting next week. Check our socials for that. You can also find it on watch what? Crappens.com or on Patreon, of course. We have a new newsletter on Patreon that goes out every week. It's basically a blog of what happened during the week. So that's fun. Go check that out. That's also where you find ad free listening, bonus episodes on Traders and all our Crappings on Demand videos, which we're recording right now.

[C]

Everybody.

[D]

We also are going to have live, live streaming tickets for the crappies. Those will be announced. I mean, they're being announced now, but the ticket links will be available when the voting starts next week. So Monday. It's not Monday, actually. It's the fourth.

[C]

It's not going to be a Monday.

[D]

So next week. Just check next week. Yeah, I think it's the fourth. So thanks, everybody, for all the support with that, we are having so much fun. We're selling that theater. So get your tickets if you're going to come, because it's going to be sold out. And today we are talking Vanderpump Rules season something episode something. I don't even have my notes open. That's where I'm at today. Like, what?

[C]

Well, while you get your notes ready, I can say that Ronnie and I had a brush with greatness last night because we went out and had drinks with Dame Brian Moan of Vulture, preeminent bravo recapper of the Internets. And we were in Rio. So we decided, hey, let's. Let's go over to sir, see if any of the. Any of the Vander Pump rules kids were there. And lo and behold, everyone was there. We walk right in, and who's standing right there? Chris and Jason, the adorable only fans Eyebrow twins. And we. We saw Marcus. We saw. You guys are so funny. Oh, my God.

[D]

What handsome guys. Oh, my God. I mean, we see on the show that they're cute, but geez, in real life, I was like, smud, those are some cut boys.

[C]

I know. And we did a group photo. And I don't know, like, for some reason, Ronnie, like, you just for some.

[D]

Reason, you wait for me to walk away and then you take a picture. That's what happens. There's so many pictures of just you people without me there.

[C]

It's not our fault you have some weird thing, some weird radar where I literally said, guys, let's take a group photo. And we all start to get in a row, and then all of a sudden, you just bolted across the restaurant open.

[D]

No, that's not what happened.

[C]

100.

[D]

We were. We're like, let's go. Are you guys ready? Because we did not on purpose to go there. I was parked in front of the restaurant, so we were like, oh, let's just stop in there and see what's going on before I get in my car. So we walked in, and it was a viewing party. I guess they have viewing parties at the restaurant. We didn't know. And so there were all these guys, so we knew people there, you know? Cause there's like, you know, Bravo commentators. And I saw Kate from Riccio's recaps, who's so cute, and I like her stuff, and I, of course, know who she is. So I wanted. And we talked a bit. So I want. We were leaving, so I was like, well, I'm not gonna leave without saying bye to that girl. I was like, so I'm Gonna go say bye to r recaps. And you guys were like, okay. And then we go outside, and you guys, oh, we took a picture, and you weren't there. Oh, well, I'm sorry for having manners and saying goodbye to somebody.

[C]

This is. This is your. This is your interpretation of how it went. But for those of us who were there taking the picture, we were all starting to get into that row, and you went out, and we were like, where's Ronnie going? And we start going, ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. And you just were like.

[D]

It literally took two seconds Anyway, so if that was the case, you guys should have waited for me. And guess what? I don't even care, because I'm not a picture of road. I'm not a row picture kind of taker. Okay, I'll get my own pictures.

[C]

I know I didn't like my angle. I. I have. I have to, like, work on my angles again. I've got to, like, reset. I was trying to do, like, a thing with my legs, but it just sort of looked strange. But the most important part is that Guillermo took the photo for us. So this was a very special photo because there was a. There was a. A maestro of sorts behind the camera. Not the maestro, but a maestro of sorts. So very special moment. But, yeah, it was a super fun time, and everyone was nice and, yeah, you know, love the show. Angelina wasn't there. I don't think Angelina was there because she was on watch Angelica last night. Yeah, Angelica. And Angelica was on watch happens live, and someone asked a question to her and said, audrey says, the fame has gone to your head. And Angelica goes, hello. Is fame in the room? None of us are famous. No one here is famous. No, I'm still driving my Toyota. None of us have gained more than 10,000 followers. I was like, well, good for her. Good for her. Good for her. That's funny.

[D]

Yeah. So fun times. Well, we open up this episode in pazerobles. It's a wheel. We're going to Wii U. The women in wine conference, which is by conference, I mean the table of eight ladies frothing over onlyfans Men.

[C]

Yes. And honoring me as the Wii U woman of the year. Last week, I was called.

[D]

We watch. Yeah, we watch. Yeah. Woman in wine. Woman of the year.

[C]

I don't know. Last week, I kept thinking. We kept on going. We were. But that's actually not the acronym at all. Women of. It was women in wine. And then just an A. We added, I think I have a.

[D]

Ghost in my house that keeps knocking my phone off. The desk. It's on the desk.

[C]

Really?

[D]

And then it keeps falling off the desk. Putting it on the desk. Do not fall off the desk. I'm watching you. I'm watching you ghost you.

[C]

Well, guess what? Next year, we'll go to Paso Robles to honor you. Ghosts and wine.

[D]

So it doesn't sell as well because you can't see them trying to get out like you can. The women. They gurgle. Oh, it's adorable.

[C]

So much gurgling. So the guys are still playing Cornhole and saying, like, you got it in the hole. You got in the hole. While meanwhile, Demi and Kim and Angelica are in the bedroom talking about the. The incestuous Only Fans video that they just watched. Yeah.

[D]

Demi's like, oh, my God, I need to go to church. I only watched 45 seconds of it. Like, I can't even imagine all 13 minutes of it. I mean, I can imagine it. And you know why I have to imagine it? Because I don't pay for the only fans, okay? I paid. I wanted to see. And I. I did pay for the first guy, as I told you, little eyebrows. And then I went to look at big eyebrows, and his is free, but they're all just shirtless. And it's like, if you want to, you can become a super vip. Whatever. I was like, well, I'm not going to be a super vip. And then I did click on one of the hidden videos, and it was longer, but it was like, this is 57 or something. I was like, girl, I'm not giving you 57. Are you nuts?

[C]

Yeah, well, they were fresh off of a shoot, pun intended. Last night when we saw them, they're like, yeah, man, we just did an Only Fans thing, and now we're right here.

[D]

I know. And I said, so you basically rubbed one out live and then came to work? And he's like. And that.

[C]

That wasn't happening anyway.

[D]

It's just.

[C]

It just was on camera. So we did the same thing.

[D]

You just got paid.

[C]

Okay, that's right. That's right.

[D]

So we didn't. I didn't rub one out. Who says that? Disgusting. I'm turning into a disgusting person because of this show.

[C]

Disgusting. Oh, my God. This is too much. I'm not gonna have dinner. I mean, how do I even look at Chris? How do I look at either one of them?

[D]

Get it in the hole, bro. Stick it in the hole. Yeah, you gotta aim and get your right. I want your saggy right in the hole, bro. Cut back.

[C]

Every time I look at Chris and Jason, I'm just gonna think, ew, like they're literally related by blood. I mean, I do that anyway. But now I know that they're also like, jerking off together. So it's like double ooh. I'm already at a base level. Ew. But now I'm not like, really? Ooh.

[D]

And Angelica says, I mean, that's what I do. I just don't look at them. So then we go to the bedroom and Angelica's like, yeah, once you see. Oh, yeah, we're still in the bedroom. And then Angelica's like, yeah, once you see it, you can't unsee it. Why are all these people so worried about Only Fans? I'm surprised to see young people this upset over Only Fans because aren't. I feel like so many people are on Only Fans now. I'm surprised that they're so puritanical about it.

[C]

I think it's just the. In the cousin of it all. The cousin, cousiny, like incesty thing. You know, I mean, I knew.

[D]

I'm Lebanese. You know, we have a lot of first cousins married in our. In our family tree. And that's just the way it is because, you know, I come from a family of immigrants and that's how it happened. They just one of our family reunions, the cousins actually made T shirt T shirts that said incest fest because there are so many married first cousins. So, you know what? If you can marry your first cousin and have children that go on to own real estate companies, then you can certainly make $57 a load on Only Fans with your cousin. Why should it be any different for the straights and the gays?

[C]

That's right.

[D]

What's good for the. The goose is good for the gainder. Okay.

[C]

You know, the, the incest thing definitely weakens once you get into cousin territory, but it's still a little weird. But actually a little weird.

[D]

It's weird.

[C]

It's fairly weird. It's fairly weird. I would say a very fairly weird thing. Maybe we've become like a little immune to it, having watched so much Game of Thrones and Game of Thrones spin offs. But yeah, it's a little. It's a little strange.

[D]

So listen, I'm not telling everyone they should go their sister. I think it's different possibly too when you're actually having babies. But if you're just dropping loads into each other for some Only Fans content. Come on.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Waste not, want not. Stop judging. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a grappens. Commercial. In a world where January is supposed to be boring, one staple of the holidays refuses to end the great deals at Verizon. The joy just keeps on coming. Right now, you can save on four new phones and four lines. Critics agree it's the deal that keeps on giving. Come into Verizon and save on foreign use phones and four lines on Unlimited. Welcome. Additional terms [e-mail] for details.

[A]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah, and we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[B]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[A]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[B]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[A]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And for the first time ever, we're gonna have full video episodes on YouTube, because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're gonna be right here to help you do them better.

[C]

Love y'.

[D]

All.

[C]

So now they go in the kitchen to start making dinner, and Demi is. She's gonna start making some mushrooms, which I really like this moment for her because she really. When she's making mushrooms, she does not want to be bothered, and she's very upset when anyone comes by her. So she's gonna.

[D]

She starts, well, mushrooms are. Mushrooms take forever. Which people don't realize. Mushrooms are more annoying to make than people realize. They take more work.

[C]

Well, they also. They have such strange behaviors, right? And Demi even outlines it because she's at one point, she's like, well, they're gonna release. They're gonna leave liquid, and then that's when you season them. But you don't see them before because you don't want. Right. You're supposed to season them after they release their juices, but, you know, you never know when they're gonna release their juices. And then they absorb the oil, but then they release the oil, and you're like, can you just make up your mind? I just want to cook you. You know?

[D]

Yeah, mushrooms are confusing. But this was funny because Chris Comes up, and he's one of the incest twins. So she's grossed out, right, when she sees him, because she's just seen him. God knows what he was doing to his cousin in that shower. So he comes in, he's like, oh, shit. Chef Demi's in the building, and Angelica's.

[E]

Like, are those mushrooms you brought from home?

[D]

They're trying to ignore him, but he won't leave. He's just, like, staying by her, and it's bothering her making the mushrooms. And then Venus comes in in a pink robe with pool floaties. Like, one's an eggplant floaty or whatever. And he's like, I bought this for Chris and Jason because they're always talking about their dick. Little does he know.

[C]

Little does he know. And then they take a picture and everything. And then Marcus is slurring his way through the kitchen. All of a sudden it's obvious, like, oh, my God. And then Chris is like. They're all sort of in the kitchen, like, doing. Doing fun things.

[D]

And Jason's trying to be nice to Demi and being like, wow, look at you. You're cooking. That's so cool. She's like, get away from me. Please just leave me alone. He's like, but I'm just like, well, sorry. I'm just trying to support the chef. She's like, no, get away. Because, like, you can't. Don't you need oil? She's no, because there's, like, liquid in the mushrooms, and then the mushrooms release the liquid, and then you Seeds in the liquid, and then that's. How much did you just fucking go away? She's like, God, sorry. Sorry for trying to support she'.

[C]

Now I'm mad. Now I'm mad. You're too close to the mushrooms. Okay, I can't go. Just go. I don't want to think about you and oil. Just don't even mention oil. I mean, maybe. Should I jerk off in mushrooms? No, I don't want to think about mushroom heads or oil or. You get the hell out of here.

[D]

You don't want to think about things releasing liquid while you and your cousin are in the room. Okay. Empty your ball somewhere else.

[C]

He does. He has no idea because he just comes around like, oh, can I help with the mushrooms? And she. She's like, please get as far away from me. I don't want you to get incest on these mushrooms.

[D]

Yeah, exactly. So Marcus is shit face. He's like, oh, damn, he's lit. And he says, what, Is it obvious? All of a Sudden. Is it obvious, or is it obvious that I've got Ray Bans? Because I've got Ray Bans, guys. I'm a DJ now. Ray Ban dj.

[C]

And Chris is. He's, like, looking at Demi's face because she's scowling because she's now mad about the whole mushroom situation. He's like, like, what's up with her face? She's always miserable. If Demi's here, who's scaring the crows away from our crops? Jason just goes, enjoy your mushrooms. Fine. I was gonna help with the mushrooms, but now I'm not going to anymore. So Shane walks in. I heard there's some mushrooms in here.

[D]

I'm sorry. I'm lost in the notes. Okay. Enjoy your mushrooms. Okay. Yeah.

[E]

So he's like, are you feeling okay together? Good. Like, yeah, I feel good. Yeah. Well, you're a little more, like, reserved than usual, so. Why? You said reserved? She goes, I don't know. Like, I'll try and come out of my shell once I get out of my back brace.

[C]

I know what? We still have no answers on that. Okay, we got to hit the hot tub, bro.

[D]

So they go out to the hot tub together, and meanwhile, Natalie's putting drink ingredients into the blender, and she's like, guys, are we ready? Because, like, if this is broken, I really can't. Like, I cannot with the broken machine. This better work. I'm.

[E]

It works. It works.

[D]

It works. Everybody calm down. Calm down, everybody.

[C]

God, they are so chaotic in this kitchen. I mean, this really speaks to the fact that they all just have, like, Bunsen burners that they're heating their. Their macaroni on because they're like, oh, my God, it's a blender. What do we do? What do we do? Oh, my God. You have a pan. You're cooking the mushrooms. Oh, my God. Everyone relax. Everyone relax. They're, like, not used to a full kitchen. So, yeah, the outside in the hot tub, Angela's like, how are you?

[E]

I'm good.

[C]

Just coming out of my. You know, I don't really know. Anyway, so I'm in my shell. My social battery's owl.

[E]

Like, I just got, like, pretty gross.

[C]

Out around the cousins, and I, like, I haven't exactly warmed up to Audrey completely yet, so it's just, like, a lot for me right now.

[E]

But I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and, like, warm up to them. I just, like, can't hide it. Like, I'm physically, like, I'm ill. Like, I'm ill around them. And he's like, what's making you ill? Like, I don't get it. Like, what's making you so ill?

[C]

Man's man.

[E]

It's like, I saw some pretty alarming.

[D]

Things on the Internet.

[E]

Like, Jason and Chris, naked, oiling each other up, spreading their butts open.

[C]

Stop. There's no way.

[E]

I'm not joking. He's like, that is not real. Come on.

[C]

There's no way that that really happened. It's just not real.

[E]

No, it is real. Just like, my back is broken up.

[C]

It's so real that someone named Israel literally showed it to us. Angelica is making it sound like these two dudes are spitting on each other, like, splitting each other open. I just don't believe that, bro. Like, but either way, once I found out how much money these guys were making, I was like, you can do.

[E]

Whatever the hell you want. In chest is best, bro. Make your money. I'm gonna tell you a story, and it may make you disgusted with me. She's like, oh, God. Why are you stressed about it? Okay, so when I was in the teen. When I was a teenager, my cousin brought his girlfriend over. Your cousin? Yeah. And he brought his girlfriend into the room to teach me how to make women squeal. Yay, Shane Davis. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

[D]

Oh, my God. Did I really just dodge one incestuous man to lean into the arms of another? I mean, finally I found someone over.

[E]

Six feet attractive, actual depth to him, and then it's gonna tell me this.

[C]

Remind me about the actual depth part again. Angelica, can we circle back to that? That. That. The depth part.

[D]

You just stop.

[C]

It's got a washing machine in my. I got a washing machine in my house. I love doing laundry. Oh, my God. That's like, number seven on my priorities.

[E]

His washing machine is so deep, you could put an entire load in there.

[C]

Is it front loading? High efficiency, baby. Oh, my God.

[E]

Okay, what I'm saying is this wasn't incest. There was nothing incestuous between me and my cousin. Did the. The Eiffel Tower together.

[C]

That's it. Oh, my God. I love that you're international. Like, you weren't. You weren't lubing him up and spreading his ass. I mean, that's, like, really, like, off. Come on. There's no way they did that. I gotta. I. I'm gonna love my boys no matter what. Like, look, they go down each other. They. Houdini, whatever it is, I don't care. Dirty Sanchez. I love my boys do what you gotta do. Am I right?

[E]

Just don't tell anybody about this. And she's like, I'm totally going to. I'm Angelica.

[D]

It's like literally what she does.

[E]

And he's like, yeah, I don't think she understands consequences of spreading rumors. And you know, it's gonna like backfire on her because they're all pretty cool with everybody. It's like you're just gonna make enemies, you know, like, you can't go against people spreading their butt cheeks against each other when everybody loves those butt cheeks. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Like what I. It's like what one of my mentors once said to me. Spread butt cheeks, don't spread rumors.

[E]

Well, as long as you know why I feel uncomfortable. I mean, we could just move past it. I'm here for you. And if you need anything, I'm right here, okay? Right here.

[C]

I know you're rattled by the incest on only fans, but if there's anything you need, I'm right here for you. I can come for you during this incest. He's what a great guy. Thanks. Thanks for huggin me. That incest really scared me.

[E]

You're going to need therapy. Just getting to know me, baby.

[D]

And she's like, but I don't even.

[E]

Have a health insurance. Like, this is horrible.

[D]

How do you still not have health insurance? First of all, it's so expensive not to have it. They charge you so much money. I know it's really expensive, but like, girl, you just broke your back.

[C]

Yeah, the ironies. Ah, so deep. She's so deep. I love her so much. So then inside Mark is like, we love each other, remember? And that was like, I love all of you. Like, whether you love me back or not, like, whatever. I love all of you guys back. I love you guys so much. Yeah, we love you, Natalie. And okay, that's how we do it.

[D]

So they're wondering where Shane is and they're in the hot tub, but Angelica is getting out to go change. So they're like, let's go hang out with him. So they go get in the hot. Chris and Jason get in the hot tub with Shane, and he's just heard this rumor about them. And Jason's like, this is simmering my nuts, this hot tub. Well, yeah, I feel the jet right up against my hole. Oh, bro, get it, get it, get it. You have your phone. Get it right now.

[C]

Cheeks, bro. Spread it. Spread it, bro, spread it.

[D]

I'm gonna put this so far up my ass. Water's gonna come out my ears. Get it on tape.

[E]

Get it on.

[C]

Hey, guys. Hey, guys. I'm getting in the hot tub also. It's so hot in here, but it feels really good. Are you guys doing incest? Can I be part of that? This is so fun.

[D]

And Chris is like, yeah, yeah, the view's amazing, right, guys? And Jason goes, yeah, it looks like Italy.

[C]

Tuscany. Yeah.

[D]

Anytime you see a hill, it's.

[E]

It's Italy.

[C]

It's basically Italy. So Shane is like, I'm so glad. I was worried it was gonna turn into, like, world War III in here, bro.

[D]

We' already had world war iii, man. Come on. Yeah, well, I was gonna say, like, Natalie, is Chris talking? I feel like with you in the whole situation with girls, I feel like it's not like that hard to smooth it out. Right? She goes, no, but they, like, don't want to, you guys. They don't want to smooth it out with me, so how am I supposed to smooth it out if they don't want to? I. I can smooth it all I want to, but if they don't want to, it's going to be wrinkled. It's a wrinkled relationship.

[C]

Yeah, but like, you guys are civil though, right? Like, it's a civil war, not a world war. So then inside, Demi is like, Demi, who is fully scowling and still standing over her mushrooms, looks at the rest of the kitchen, goes, I'm having a really good time. Like, I'm having a really good time.

[D]

So in the hot tub, Natalie's like, yeah, I mean, they're the ones that said they don't want to move on. So what am I supposed to do? Well, yeah, but honestly, like, can I say something? I got to, like, I'm just being, like, empathetic. That's like, when you feel something, like you feel somebody else's emotions. Right, Right. Is that empathetic? Okay, thank you.

[C]

Is that like, when someone's. Is that like when someone's emotions, like, open up your butt cheeks and do stuff in there? Cuz that's what I'm feeling right now. It's like, I think that's the. The jet stream. Oh, yeah. Well, from how upset you were, now I feel like you focusing on yourself brought, like, a better energy to you. I can read energy. So you're doing a good job, Natalie. Then Marcus, you got in the goddamn. Hey, you naked Shindoos.

[E]

These are pink shorts, so they look like I'm naked.

[D]

Do you guys understand? Like, I'm putting on a brave face. Like, look at my face. It's brave. And I really didn't do anything to betray them. Like, they both screamed at me. You guys like their excuses that I screamed at them? Like, what kind of excuse is that, Marcus?

[C]

Not me. I screamed at you. She's like, marcus, we're not even allowed to speak. Like, you haven't screamed at me, but, like, you and I are not allowed to talk. Don't talk to me. I know I have a brave face, and it's very brave. And you want to talk to someone who's brave, and I accept your salute, but don't talk to me. They're just screaming me, Marcus.

[D]

I didn't want to get past this dumb bullshit. So much bullshit about it. And to me, he's like, somebody's screaming outside. Guess who else is screaming? These fucking mushrooms. You hear it? It's, like, glorious. It's like they're all dying on the battlefield together.

[C]

We're finally getting a good sizzle, guys.

[D]

That's another thing with mushrooms, they do kind of scream. You hear them. They're like, just shut up. You're a mushroom. Stop.

[C]

I guess that's why Toad sounds like that. So Natalie's like, guys, why aren't you telling the people that don't want to be friends with me that I'm like, I'm a very brave face. I'm like a. I'm like a soldier. Tell people that Mark is like, you want me? You got my head taken off, girl. I'm not gonna have my head taken off. Your head taken off? I'm not gonna have my head taken off. But, like, that's on you, buddy. Like, that's why I don't care anymore. Like, I care so little that I came to this hot tub just to tell everyone about how those bitches are to me. And, like, I don't care.

[E]

Guys, why are we yelling in a hot tub of all places? I mean, you got Jason here with one jet going up his asshole and the other one going down his throat. He's basically being spit roasted. Can we just enjoy the free life.

[C]

Guys?

[E]

It's free.

[C]

Come on, enjoy this. People pay good money for this. That's real, bro. I honestly think Natalie has been so good at actually moving forward. Yeah, you really. You're doing great now. You're brain face. As a brain face. Yeah.

[D]

Listen, you know, like, we can talk about you guys. Why don't we talk about me and Venus, though, guys? Because, like, me and Venus could sit here for an hour and play with each other. Like, but that was my bad friend. And that's what hurts me like this.

[C]

I just wish Venus were alive to see my remorse. Venus is just, like, sitting there in the hot tub watching this, saying nothing. Like, this guy.

[D]

He's like, I just put my hair up. He's like, I put my hair up, and that's my power. So he knows he's getting me when my power is in a bun.

[C]

No. So then Jason puts his arm around Marcus. He's like, dude, I know he's your boy. Have you thought about spreading his cheeks? It's pretty cool when it happens. Up. Dude, he actually does care about you. Look, he's there in the corner of the hot tub, just looking at you, staring at you, wondering if you'll crimp his hair.

[D]

I love that Venus didn't fall for this and immediately get up and go hug him. And he just watches him with his lips. He's like, my lips are watching too. And he's like. When I'm, like, not on good terms, when I'm not on good terms with Marcus, it's like it eats him alive. And, like, I do love this man and, like, I do care. Care about this man, but I'm playing it safe, and I'm observing his actions to rebuild our friendship. And if there's any hope for us moving forward, I'm just going to need him to see how he. I'm going to have to see how he behaves on this trip. And that's it.

[C]

So then it's like, guys, why are we all upset with each other? Because we're all hurt by each other. So, like, why can't we just, like, drop it and start fresh? Like, why can't we do that?

[D]

That.

[C]

But they're not. The mushroom inside are not. They're ruining everything. It reminds me of that time I went to dinner with Venus and we shared mushrooms that time. So they go inside to have dinner, and Demi's like, guys, there's garlic bread, I guess.

[D]

About spake ziti. I love that. She's. She's like, that's a big ziti, I guess. And Venus goes, okay, I want some. And Jason goes, why is it called big ziti, Jason?

[C]

You're Italian. Jason. Why do we have to explain these things?

[D]

Jason, get out of my dreams and into my car.

[C]

Okay, I know. Venus goes, because she baked it and it's a ziti noodle, so it's called baked ziti. Still not sure if I follow.

[D]

It's like, what? I just want to thank you. For what? What?

[C]

Ben, he's just getting More philosophical. But what is a zd? Like, okay, what is cd Anyway?

[D]

I'm gonna this zd. I'm gonna it. Jason, I just want to thank you for standing up for me. And he's like, you're welcome. She goes, yeah, because it's a big deal for me. I'll never forget that, you guys. He stood up for me. Big cd. He stood up for me.

[C]

Guys, I just realized, ziti, it's just the fleshlight of the pasta world.

[D]

Aside from Venus, I'm like, everyone's personal punching bag. And, like, that gets really lonely and really depressing. So thank God for Jason. Like, he finally sees me, and he understands me, and he validates me, like. Like, it couldn't be better.

[C]

Oh, love is. Love is in the air again. Or at least in the ziti. By the way, every time I say ziti, my phone lights up because it thinks that I'm talking to her. When I. When I said that ziti was the fleshlight of the pasta world, my phone goes. I didn't get that saying. You didn't understand the request or you just didn't get my joke? Please don't shame my joke. If you have to explain your joke, it's a bad joke. Thanks for shaming me phone. So Demi is like, you got Marcus, you're not drinking? He's like, 9:30. Are you guys ready? Why are you cutting me off at 9:30? She's like, okay, can we stop now? And Kim's like, yeah, babe, save it for mimosas before the event tomorrow. Bad girl Kim is here.

[D]

We are not drinking before the event tomorrow. It's work, okay? And Audrey's like, yeah, we have the. We will conference tomorrow, and, like, a lot of different winery owners are going to be there, and they're, like, all gonna have lunch. It's, like, incredible. We cannot be on mimosa.

[C]

Yeah, we're gonna pour the wine, and we're gonna set up the food. And guess what? We're gonna serve the food. Hot girl, Summer. So Venus is like, yeah, Lisa wants us on time and not off, so we're gonna bring it for wheel.

[D]

So Marcus. Marcus is like, okay, I was here. Sommelier impression, okay? And Jason goes. Marcus, go. So Marcus is like, all right, I'm in point car. Your age is not 1995.

[C]

So not the silence. Not the silence.

[D]

Spin your glass. And he starts, like, beating the. Beating the wine in the glass, you know, really hard.

[C]

Small dog. Small. He's in the party. Party zone over there. Sorry, I choked in my laugh.

[D]

All Right, guys? Let's go skinny dipping. So it's like a skinny dipping time.

[E]

And Shane's like, guys, you can't even see my wiener. It's not big right now, dog. Like, I gotta helicopter this or something. But he bring the bump. Where's the pump, dog? I've been shot.

[C]

I'm. My nipples are extremely hard and they do like backflips. They're all jumping in the pool. They're having fun time. It's just. Great moment. But guess what it's now time for. It's 8:28 in the morning and everyone has to wake up because it's time to serve Lisa Vanderpump. So now they're making some eggs and toast and stuff and breakfast times around. And Jason's like, hell yeah, pasta was fire last night. But the only thing is I'm bloated because I didn't realize ZD is actually pasta. Did you know that? The whole process.

[D]

Yeah, I barely ate the pasta. But I did eat a little salad. Who made the salad? It was sick.

[C]

I made the salad. I made it. Oh my God. I did.

[D]

Lettuce.

[E]

Love lettuce.

[C]

It feels so good to be appreciated for taking that lettuce out of the bag. Like someone appreciates me around here by the way.

[D]

You smell banging. What is that?

[C]

Thank you. Yeah, it's just iceberg. It's iceberg. Iceberg by foxy. It's like a great lettuce scent. So good.

[D]

You know, like. Like I smell stuff because, like, I.

[E]

Tend to pick up on vibes and.

[D]

You know, it's like chemistry because, like, guys smell stuff. And I smelled you. Like when I kiss a girl, I know right away if sex is going to be good because it's like the smell, bro.

[C]

Wow. Yeah. Well, guess what? Iceberg tread ahead. It's on my neck. Love it. Love that you could pick up on these details. You're so great, so attentive.

[D]

So Marcus comes in and Shane's like.

[E]

Well, your hair is looking good. Good Mar. Seem got a little Superman co right now. Dude.

[C]

You'Re not up for that Superman role, are you? Cuz then we're not going to be able to be bros anymore. I'm going to get it, bro. I'm going to get that role, bro. Here comes one right now.

[A]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[B]

Because we're still doing A lot of.

[A]

Stuff wrong, but who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[B]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[A]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcast, podcasts.

[B]

And for the first time ever, we're gonna have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[C]

Love y'.

[D]

All. So outside on some chairs, Angelica and Audrey are talking, having the talk. And Angelica's like, I didn't feel like.

[E]

I get to talk to you much yesterday.

[D]

And she's like, yeah, because, like, last time we spoke, I feel like we were, like, on very separate pages because, like, you were offensive to me because I was more upset that you took information and used it. Because I was seeing is like, I was saying it to my girl. And then, like, that's why, for me, like, kind of broke my trust.

[E]

So I would never share your secret, but, like, a guy's secret. So it's different.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Like, when I do, like, Jason and.

[C]

Chris under the bus, I didn't realize you were, like, so attached to it. So if you also received a broken back from the bus, I'm so sorry. From one broken back person to another hurt.

[D]

So Angelica's like, okay, it's just time to move on, you know? And she's like, you know, when it.

[E]

Comes to Chris and Jason, Audrey's, like, protective about them. So I feel like now may not be the right time to bring up the whole cousins touching each other situation.

[D]

So she's going to hold on to this information, but we need this information out.

[C]

They get a. Tease it. Tease it out. So I just. So Angelica's like, sorry for hurting you. She's like, I appreciate that. And I think, like, we both, like, a little still confused about the situation, even though it's, like, pretty clear you were a. And I wasn't, but that's fine. Yeah. I think it's, like, not worth holding on to. Right? Just, like. Yeah, I know. It's, like, not worth holding on to. Yeah.

[D]

Right. So inside they're talking about work, and Shane doesn't get to go because he doesn't work there, so he's like, well.

[E]

I'm gonna do my. You know, I gotta go for a run. I'm gonna hit up a 12 step meeting. Yeah, can't wait to meet some Pats of Robles. Aa, baby. And then I'm gonna do a little. Had a little nightmare last night that I took alcohol. Alcohol from Marcus. I said, you've had enough. And then I hit the corner and started chugging it.

[C]

What I'm trying to say is I'm kind of spiraling over here. So then Audrey is like, by the way. Oh, sorry. Audrey's like, hey, so how was your date with Shane, Angelica? Oh, my God. The day was, like, really nice. He's, like, so honest. Like, he has, like, a washing machine. Like, that's, like, so raw of him to say that. Like, I really feel like we connected.

[D]

Audrey's like, yeah, he's really real. Real people have washing machines in their own homes.

[C]

So in Shane's room, Chris is like, hey, so how are you in your little situation? Did she sleep in the bed last night? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, she made. Like, she may let me go that route, but, like, I kind of feel like she kind of needs a little bit more security. And I just kind of, like, told.

[E]

Her I'm like, not really boyfriend, ma.

[C]

You get it, bro.

[D]

Are you sure about that, bro?

[E]

He's like, oh, yeah, straight up about it. But I do want to do that. You know, finger in the hole, Finger in the. It's, like, tremendous, bro. But, like, I badly want to do it, but this is where the ethics become difficult, because I know she wants somebody to rely on emotionally, and I know that I don't have those tools, but I want to sleep with her still. So it's just like there's two worlds. Vaginas, motions.

[C]

I love how he uses therapy talk to, like, justify being a boy. It's like, yeah, I just, you know, I can't be monogamous with her because I just don't have the tools to do it. So I'm just gonna be up front with her and just, like, want to make her feel safe and secure and banger and move on. You know what I'm saying? So Chris is like, you know, it doesn't even. And seemed like you guys, even in the Jacuzzi last night, you guys looked like you were having a deep conversation about something. You guys was like, really two very deep people. Wow. I'm so impressed.

[E]

He's like, yeah, but you Know, like, things are mellowing that I've noticed. Her and Audrey are cool. They seem to be getting along, so that's pretty cool, you know?

[D]

And so we cut to Angelica, and.

[E]

She'S like, yeah, I'm like, also, like, I felt like, in a way, but it's like this. This all brought us, like, closure together, right?

[D]

And Audrey's like, me and you. She's.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Audrey's like, I, like, still hate you.

[C]

Literally drove us apart. She's like, listen, I don't trust the girl, but I don't want to be a dick about it anymore. Like, white flag. It's almost like it's a truce. I love you. Yeah, I love you too. So with this conversation, bitch. And I mean in the worst way, sometimes just better to get your sickness out, you know? Nobody wants to be a dick.

[D]

Yeah. So now everybody is getting ready. And of course, Venus. We get a shot of Venus. He's like, I only use Gucci bronzer.

[C]

We know that's Gucci bronze. Or not Gucci bronzer. And yes, it's probably like some chemical they use to set up the fireworks.

[D]

Booty bronzer.

[C]

Get out of here.

[D]

So now Chris gets a phone call, and Venus is like, oh, my God, I need another spray tan and I need more Botox. And like, I think my mission right now is, like, finding a man.

[C]

Yeah, I'd rather find it here than in garbage options I got in West Hollywood. I don't get hit on by men. In West Hollywood, there's only one standard of gay. It's big and muscular. And if you're not that, then you're just on the low end of the dating pool. And in Texas, everyone's looking for love. In West Hollywood, you greet someone by eating their ass. Sorry. So then can I just say, we.

[D]

Were in West Hollywood last night and this is not. That's not true. I mean, I know that that's a stereotype of West Hollywood. We didn't see one of those last night. Maybe you just have to go out on the weekdays. Cause I think the weekdays is when the rest of us go out.

[C]

West Hollywood was looking a lot like Lisa described at the beginning the season with a tumbleweeds. Like no one was out there. It was like the three of us.

[D]

Yeah, but I mean, it was a Tuesday, fairly early, but still, like, that's when to go. If you want to meet guys that aren't, like, muscular. There were, like, normal guys out there, I would say, like normal gays. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

They were normal. Normal sized. And Shaped case.

[D]

There was a lot of poochie bronzer.

[C]

Yeah. So Venus is saying, yeah, I've never ran across a man that I felt deserved my time and energy or my body. There are horrors out here in West Hollywood. Horrors. So then, Drama, you mentioned earlier that Christmas phone call, but little did we realize. And yes, it is true, but little did we realize that that phone call was about to set off a series of unfortunate events for Christopher.

[D]

Ooh, Lemony Snicket. Get to work.

[C]

Nickelini Snicket.

[D]

So Chris is telling Marcus. He's like, yeah. So Jason's brother calls me, and I have him on speaker, and we're talking about going to Bali. And he's like, yeah, bro, we're gonna some mad. And then Audrey's like, right there. Oh, my God. Now she's mad because, like, we're gonna mad. Like, what am I supposed to happy?

[C]

Only Mark is like, yeah, a little pissed. A little bit. I mean, she definitely heard it, so I don't know. I kind of just, like, laughed it off and I was like, she definitely heard that. Audrey's like, it's making me question everything. Like, how does he feel about me? Does he think about me romantically? Is he just trying to get in my pants? Chance, maybe Chris just act the way he like that he would do that to be in a relationship with you. But is he, like, really a boy? I'm like, well, let's see. He's a muscle clad bartender in West Hollywood. I think all signs point to boy. Yes, boy. That is the correct answer.

[D]

Done reality dating shows before. Has a rubber ass and a dick pump in the shower. And yeah, this show destroyed the show to be on TV to network.

[C]

Yes, I'm going to say. And he's an active actor, so we're gonna say the correct answer is boy.

[D]

The important thing to know is when you meet a boy, just know they're a boy and them and just, you know, call a day. It's like, don't be mad at a Snickers for being a Snickers. Eat the Snickers. Yeah, Snickers satisfies you.

[C]

Ugh. What I would do for Snickers right now. I've gotta say I want a Snickers. I also want a Kit Kat because you mentioned KitKat a few times during a Salt Lake City recap. And don't think it wasn't.

[D]

Sorry, Lisa Barlow mentioned Kit Kats, not me.

[C]

There were like a million Kit Kat commercials on during football on Sunday. So I'm just. Yeah, because I'm A bro, guys.

[D]

Yeah. Ben watches football. You guys. Another Ben. Football Ben.

[C]

Yeah. And they had KitKat commercials on, like, every single commercial break. Anyway, there's time to leave, time to go to. So they're all getting into different cars, and Jason's driving, and they packed up the women, and the mark is like, all right, guys, let's go up some women and wines. And Chris is observing the landscape. He's like, the hills do actually make it look pretty cool out here. So you hear it here first. The hills. And pass a Robles, A plus.

[D]

And Venus goes, yeah, the grapes, like, they're actually gonna, like, taste different up as you go. Like, I learned that. I've learned that all in. In my sommelier class.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Chris goes, did you say Somalians? What you say? And he's like, I said Somalia. And Audrey's like, it's Somalier.

[C]

Somalia. Class. You never went to your class? I love.

[D]

They went to sommelier class, but they never said sommelier the whole time.

[C]

Did you go to a small class? A class that was smaller than other ones? A smaller class? Yeah. No. No, sommelier class. Small year. So now they gotta work. And we meet Lauren, founder of Rava Wines. She's like, we're serving all roses, rose. So we'll have the Vanderbump wines and our wines, and first we have to pull out some linens, and we need to go get the winnings chilled out with a nice bucket. Also, we need someone to. To tell Pandora it's okay to come out from. From the house. She's. She's inside cowering in her pashmina. Someone bring her out.

[D]

And Venus goes, whoa, this is some fancy shit I've never experienced before. So he's like, yeah, obviously, I love working for Lisa Vanderpump because she's like, the queen, the icon, absolute national icon of the United States of America. And I want to prove to her that I can move up it, sir. And I'm that bitch. But, like, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And that's all you can say for the crimp of the crimp. And if somebody who owns this estate wants to come swoop me off my feet and make me never have to work another day in my life, then I would be totally fine with that. You want to meet me? Eat my ass. That's what we say in West Hollywood.

[C]

Hi. Sorry to interrupt your internal monologue. This is Lauren, founder of Rafa Wines. Again, we really do need you to move that ice chest, so could you shut up.

[D]

I'm doing a monologue. Do your own ice chest.

[C]

Well, I'm sorry that my husband is a muscle clad, perhaps gay guy, but whatever, he's still sleeping with me. Get to it.

[D]

How's it going, Lauren? She's like, everything's going great. The staff has been hard enough work. One of them's over there picking mud off the bottom of his shoes and the other one is crimping his hair with drinking little stir straws, talking about eating ass and possibly getting a job from someone here.

[C]

I think he just tried to text my husband.

[D]

I did it to myself though. I did it to myself.

[C]

I volunteered to be a beard. I thought it'd be fun. It's a very lonely position to be in, Lisa. Oh, stop talking to me, non famous person. Now let's get to work. So now they're all setting things up and Marcus is saying like I have a hangover today and the last thing I want to do right now is serve all these, these housewives ros. I mean I'd much rather be drinking the ros by myself. Okay, I want to watch Mory. Oh, wow. That showed my age a little bit. Also showed that you don't seem to realize there's so much more to watch in the afternoons. Yeah, really?

[D]

I love that you're. I love that you're leading yourself into something you like.

[C]

That's what you chose.

[D]

Yeah, there's. There's so much. There's so much. So Lisa's like, well, when we say everybody's tasting the wine, that is everybody but you stuff wacky children but you.

[C]

Lauren, don't try to hop onto my joke. You're just a bit player.

[D]

This is called Women in Wine, not Lauren in Wine. Now the Women in Wine event. Oh, go ahead darling, please.

[C]

No, I was just going to say Lauren may be a beer doesn't mean you have to actually have a beer. Lauren, get her a razor.

[D]

Someone please, someone grab Santa Claus and tell her it's not her season, eh? Now the Women in Wine Wee oo event is an honor to be a part of. It's great for businesses. Anyway, who's have been to sur in the past year would know really working. Now these women are here today are the creme de la creme. That's French of the wine world. And to be successful in business can be challenging. Especially a male dominated business like wine.

[C]

Are they serving creamy wine? No, creme de la creme of wine is. No, just get back to work, you sweet, handsome little eyebrow. Okay, let's get this wee going. So Avaz falls off the bar and breaks. I didn't do it. Like, why is everyone yelling at me? Like, everyone's literally yelling at me. Like, Lauren's yelling at me. Like, shut up. Whisk your face. I don't need it.

[D]

So Lisa's like, now, listen, I know how hard this business is, ladies, and let's raise our glasses to see successful female entrepreneurs. Even the bearded lady over there is something after my own heart. So I'd like to thank you for all coming to the Wheel. Chris is like, hello, ladies. So we're gonna start off with our vanderpump brute Rose. Chris, I'm in the middle of a speech to the Wheel. Right, darling?

[C]

Well, you all look wonderful, by the way. Enjoy. Enjoy, ladies. And don't forget to look around and enjoy those hills. Real, real A plus hills around here. Oh, I'm trying to make a speech, but now at this point, lady's like, oh, hi, Chris. Oh, my God. Are you guys even 21? Oh, my God. Women and wine. We want to be women and Chris, right?

[D]

Oh, my God. Your name is Jason. They're twins. Look at these two. Aren't you too cute, lady? Would you like me to open this bottle of wine or my zipper?

[E]

Oh, my God, they are so ridiculous.

[C]

So over here.

[D]

You guys look like the Franco brothers.

[C]

This is verging on the edge of inappropriateness. But then again, we are naughty, sexy young, young brand. And I got my very handsome group of men. Oh, it's also nice for the ladies. I mean, to a certain extent, isn't it? Unfortunately for them, those men are about to disappear.

[E]

Are smoke bomb.

[C]

They're gone and turned into doves.

[D]

Are they serving themselves up all the wine?

[C]

So Natalie is like, audrey, is something wrong? Why are you yelling at me? She. I'll tell you later. Is it between our van, or is it the other van? It's Chris. Oh, my gosh. I'm shocked. I'm like, literally shock. I can't believe that there'll be an issue with Chris. Chris, like, what? This is crazy. Stop yelling at me. Everyone's yelling at me. Yeah.

[D]

Instead with Chris, like, I was trying not to bring it up before work because, like, I didn't want to make it weird at the wheel, but, you.

[C]

Know, it's really hard to keep it in.

[D]

She's like, oh, my God. Do you need to, like, sleep in my bed tonight? Because we can go to bunk beds. Like, there's one more bunk bed. You'll be my friend, right?

[C]

And Jason overhears this. He's like, wow, this is a lot to take in on the heels of learning about Big zd. So Natalie's like, I'm surprised that Chris and Audrey are having issues right now at all. Well, I mean, because they've actually seemed like so adorable this whole trip. They're cuddling the car, they're showing the primary. I can't believe that their five day old relationship is already showing Crocs.

[D]

So now the food is being served and the guys are talking and Jason's like, hey, bro, is your like girl mad at you or something? He's like, I don't know. Yeah, because she said she might sleep in the bunk beds. I heard it. I heard it. Yeah, because I was like, maybe she didn't want to sleep next to you. And like, I swear, dude, I heard like, I was like, Chris is on the shit list.

[E]

List.

[C]

It's like, I feel like there's like a pun here to be made. Like, I heard it through the. The something through the something. The wood post. I heard it through the wood post. I heard it through the wood post. So Jason's like, I swear Chris is on the shit list. Like, yeah, it's cuz your. Your brother just called and said some crazy. I had him on speaker talking about our trip to Bali and he's just like out of nowhere, dude. Yeah, we'll probably some mad and like, yeah, of course we will. But you don't have to say that out loud. Like, what's wrong with that?

[D]

Supposed to only like, happy.

[E]

That's what I said.

[C]

Be hearing things. Okay, Marcus is drunk again. Okay. I mean, he's single, He's a horny guy right now. That's just my brother. He's allowed to be. Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying. But like, she doesn't know that. Like, she doesn't know. Makes me look bad, bro.

[D]

Yeah. And Jason's like, whoa, what'd you say to that? Was your. What was your response? Do you say yeah or something? He's like, no, I said shut the up. Yeah, like Audrey's been cold with me. Like, you know, puts in perspective like, how much I do care about this woman. Like, I really, really care.

[C]

Yeah, man, she's your penis pump. Hard to ever go back.

[D]

So he's like, yeah, she's definitely upset. So Demi's like, can we finish clearing that table? And then there's nothing else to do. Okay, so just like finish up. You guys, seriously, we're done here.

[C]

They're not even serving Mushrooms at this stupid event. Like, why are we even here? So Chris is like. Chris is still worrying about all this stuff, and he's like, you know, we're gonna have hiccups, but, like, why is she not talking to me about this? What's wrong? So this is becoming a big crisis for their relationship.

[D]

Venus says Shane's probably, like, bored out of his mind. And so we cut to Shane, and Shane's like, whoa.

[E]

Yeah. I needed a moment to myself. I'm so grateful. I. So some time to kick it solo. Dolo.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Get some sunlight. I got to do my breath work. Yeah. Got to do some wim home. Yeah. Yeah. I have to protect my peace, especially with this kind of drama that's going on around me.

[D]

And then I realized we see him taking out trash. Just looking around, he's like, yeah, I.

[E]

Got kind of bored. I got bored.

[C]

I missed my fringe. So Venus is. He's like, I'm just gonna watch Lisa. Like, look, she's so iconic over there. Queen.

[E]

Queen Wheel Queen. Whee.

[C]

Who. Stop that. Oh, goodness. That. My young, saucy brand of waiters. They sometimes act up.

[D]

I.

[C]

You must forgive them, fellow wheels.

[D]

All right, now, listen. I'm leaving for. Would do that. Women and dogs in wine conference. We've figured out a way to trap tiny dogs in wine bottles. It's gonna be a huge event. Only female dogs, which is why it's Women Dogs in wine. Anyway, I've gotta go.

[C]

Unfortunately. Unfortunately, I now must attend my next charity function, which is We.

[E]

We we.

[C]

Which, of course stands for women in not near poor women. So I will be going back down to Beverly Hills and. Enjoy yourself.

[D]

I'm sorry. I've got to go to my. My next event, which is the why were women in Wine Conference? Where we gather around as winemakers and try to save the women who were trapped in wine bottles.

[C]

I'm going to speak and testify against China for putting women in wine bottles. It has to stop. So she leaves to go to.

[D]

Women are making sandwiches out of China. Someone needs to do something. I'll be back.

[C]

So she leaves for World Dog Day, and it's also the sound that my car makes when I leave. Turn on that car, Pandy. Harder, Pandy. Yes.

[D]

So now we go back to the ranch, and everybody's making burger, and Natalie wants hot sausage. So Venus goes to the pool. I don't know. They're just all relaxing.

[C]

Yeah. They're hanging around.

[D]

Yeah. They're having good times. And Chris sees Audrey, and he's like, so how you Doing? She's like, okay. He's like, good. You were a little shy today. What happened? She's like, yeah, I was off. He goes, were you upset that you heard my cousin say we were gonna mad in Bali? You can go ahead and talk to me, baby.

[C]

Talk to me. Yeah. I just kind of, like, threw me off a little bit. Like, I just, like. Because I just told you my biggest fear in this world is that someone I would fall for would then go to Bali and encounter some women who are, like, really upset and then have sex with them. Like, my, literally my biggest and most specific fear in the world. And it just, like, sort of came true in that moment. It's like, right, right, right. And like, in that moment, my brain was like, okay, well, I know what I'm feeling is real, and I'm letting my walls down and, like, trying. And it just definitely made me, like, take a little step back and kind of, like, evaluate if you were, like, in the same headspace. And now I think, like, like, my question is, like, how do you feel towards me? Like, I already introduced you to Mary Faith and our horse. Like, that's a big deal and just gonna, like, throw it out the window.

[D]

Obviously, I like you. I mean, I don't just break anybody's bed for free. So, like, other than that, like, has there ever been a moment where you thought, like, I wasn't into you? Like, other than that? She's like, no, no. I mean, I don't have only fans. So, like, I was just confused because, like, that was the first thing where I was like, wait, this is gonna. Is this gonna be great?

[E]

Like.

[D]

Like, oh, my God, what's happening? So she tells us that she self sabotages, but, you know, that's. It's also kind of paying attention to what's going on around you. It's not really self sabotage. Those are warning bells. I think self sabotage is when you ignore the warning bells. That's how people, you know, that's. That's when their house is burned down. They don't hear the beeps.

[C]

That's right. Well, it also cracks me up, like, hey, other than you hearing my cousin confirming our previous plan to go to Bali and fuck bitches, have I given you any indication that I'm not into you? Like, just take that out of the equation. I think everything sounds great, right? It's like, I like when people do that. Like, aside from this, like, thing, this giant red flag that you just saw, everything else is fine, right?

[D]

Yeah. And so Chris says to us, he's Like, Justin was saying on the phone that, like, when we go to Bali, we're gonna be mad. Like, I will not be doing that. I mean, I'm gonna be talking to bitches, but, like, I'm not gonna be fucking them. Not all of them. I mean, come on. That's not the point of the trip.

[C]

The point of the trip is to have stimulating conversation with mad. That's it. Like, that's why you go to Bali, is just to have very good conversation with Australian bitches.

[D]

But just that he worded it, like, I will not be fucking all of them.

[C]

Okay, well, that's.

[D]

That's a promise. That's. That sounds like a promise. So we go back to the pool, and Venus wants to play a game. Housewives fan alert. But this one is called Squirt. And you get a squirt gun. And he asks a question. And if you pull the card, whoever answers, whoever the answer is, we all have to squirt them.

[C]

Funny story. My cousin brought over a girl when I was 17 to teach me how to play this game. Squirt. Stop it. Oh, my God. So Jason's like, I won.

[D]

Marcus is like, why'd you just squirt on my face, bro? The game hasn't even started. Did. He's like, did you get it? Did anybody record that?

[C]

Okay, everyone, first question. Okay, the first one says, okay, Squirt, the who can't handle their alcohol. So then they. Kim. Kim squirts Marcus, and he's like, kimberly, it's not your choice. It's the person who's reading the card. But then they all shoot him because he's drunk and has been drunk this entire time.

[D]

Okay, Squirt, who you think has the most secrets and who gets it? Marcus shoots Demi, and I want to know her secrets. What are they? Demi secrets. Want to know?

[C]

I hate mushrooms. There, I said it.

[D]

So then that's why I cook them.

[E]

I like to hear them screaming.

[C]

I'm the only one that has. She's like, I'm the one that has the most secrets. Chris and Jason are sitting on the mother of all secrets, the cousin of all secrets. Oh, my God.

[E]

Squirt, who you think is the funniest and the hottest in the group.

[C]

Guys, don't squirt me. It's too soon.

[D]

So she shoots Shane. And so Angelica's like, yeah, I feel.

[E]

Like Shane and I are actually growing something. Like, more than just flirtation. Like, I feel it in my ovaries. Beep, beep. They're like monogamy kids. Yay.

[D]

Oh my God. Is no one paying attention to these men?

[C]

He literally spelled it out for you. He literally said, I don't do monogamy. He. He's an actor. Actor, model in Hollywood. Nothing about those words ever equates to monogamy. And kids. Yeah, kids that are taking care of.

[D]

I was gonna say kids. Sure. Child support. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So everyone goes inside to get ready for the night and they're gonna all live. Relive their glory. College. Their college glory days. So they want to go out and get shit faced it. Shit faced it. What's wrong with me? They're. They're going into Hop in San Luis Obispo, downtown.

[C]

Yeah, this farmer's market. And Marcus explains his emotional journey with this plan. He's like, I mean, Thursday night they've got a farmer's market. And when all the girls were like getting super excited to go, I was like, I don't want to look at fruits and vegetables. I had no idea it was a street party. Great insight into the. Into what. What a surprise he must have felt when he showed up. And it was more than fruits and vegetables. Like, wow, man, this worked out.

[D]

So we go to the festival and everybody couples off and we find out that the couple is back together. Marcus and what's your buns, Kim? Back together. And everyone's like, shocker.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

The world's shortest breakup has come to an end, I guess.

[C]

Yeah. And Shane and Angelica are. They're. They're standing in line to get some food and they're flirting and everything. And Shane's like, it feels really good to play house with Angelica. It just feels like I've got a mini girlfriend or for vacation, you know? And like, even though I told her I don't want to do something serious, it's really hard to say, say, hey, pump the brakes because we haven't had sex yet. So once we do that, then I can pump the brakes and be like, you're crazy.

[E]

How'd you pump the brakes when the stick hasn't even been shifted yet?

[D]

So now he's wanting some pulled pork, and that's exciting. So then he's offering some to Angelica and she doesn't want me, but she goes over to Demi and she's like.

[E]

I'm trying to get close to Shane, but he's like, he's sharing a sandwich with Natalie. And I'm like, ugh. Like, why is he sharing a sandwich with Natalie?

[C]

Why aren't people watching this show? This is so stupid. It's like literally so stupid.

[D]

We are dumber for having watched his show, But God damn it, I love every episode of it.

[C]

I know. I mean, it's just so refreshing when you come off of, like, Salt Lake City. It's like our marriage is falling apart, and we're fighting for it. I don't know if I can last. I don't know. We're feeling all these things. And it's like, he literally offered his pulled pork sandwich to Natalie. And, like, not to me. I'm just like. Like, where do I stand with him?

[E]

I mean, Jenkins here's pulled pork sandwich.

[D]

With whoever he wants to, but, like, why does it have to be the.

[E]

One girl that, like, going to D?

[C]

Then he's like, so he offered his sandwich to everybody. He's like, I don't offer my sandwich, everybody.

[E]

If I buy a pulled pork sandwich, I only share it with the person that I love, who I'm going to have children with.

[C]

Okay, but he's offering it to everyone. So, like, don't. Don't. It's like, don't worry about it, I think.

[D]

But it is also a good metaphor because he is going to share his sandwich with everybody forever. That's until he turns, like, ugly and or older. He's just going to be sharing that sandwich. Listen, the man pulled pork, he's going to be spreading it around.

[C]

Let's be honest. The sandwich has probably already been shared by everyone. Yes.

[D]

God, I want a sandwich. So we flashback to yesterday, and we see Jason saying, like, so how was it? We see when she got jealous, basically, that he did a video shoot and kissed Audrey in the video shoot, and now she's getting jealous again. And Demi's like, yeah, I think she's.

[E]

A little obsessive there.

[C]

Jason may have been on to something. So Audrey is licking Chris's ear, and he's like, you can't do that, babe. What if the mad find out? And then Sheen and Angelica are holding hands, playing house and Venus. Like, I didn't realize I was being invited to a couple's retreat. I guess the only person I have left is Demi. Demi's like, he could be a couple. Sorry, H.R. she's like, yeah, at least Demi has a fat ass. That's sort of iconic for the gays, you know? So basically, Demi and. And Venus are stuck amongst all these couples were being super, super annoying. And then Demi's like, are you and Jason, like, a thing? Natalie? It's like, no, like what? Like, we're not a couple, but if we were, we'd be so cute. Like, so but it's, like, so friends, right, Jason? Like, so such friends.

[D]

And to me, it's like, I do not want to be around for that. Like, give me a warning, because, like, I cannot take that. And Jason's like, yeah, Natalie's a badass. Like, she wears a leather jacket and she has, like, cool, long ass hair. So, like, she just throws it back. Like, she doesn't even do her hair sometimes. Like, the girl doesn't give a. Yeah.

[C]

In Natalie, you're, like, so cool. Like, you have, like, dark energy, but you're also, like, a fairy. And I'm definitely, like, bonding with you. Like, you're cool as. And I'm thinking, damn, that was real that you said. Said, like, having said that. Like, that's for real. Like, that's for. That's like some dark energy fairy. Like, I love that for us.

[D]

You're like a dark energy fairy, and you've got a leather jacket. Do you want to get married?

[C]

Are you saying fairy or fairy? Because I really don't want to be a boat fairy, man. Okay, call.

[D]

So, yeah, like, I feel like, like, if. If we were out and just, like, somebody was, like, talking, she would just beat him up for me or something.

[C]

She.

[D]

And I'd be like, you're cool.

[C]

Cool. That's a badass leather jacket. Leather jacket. Really likes a dominant lady. Remember he was upset that Angelica didn't, like, fight off another girl for him.

[D]

Yeah. He wanted to start a fight in the Barney's beanery, and she didn't fall for it.

[C]

Yeah, no, I know. Okay, so they arrive at a place called the Ob. That's how you know that there will be children on the way because they're going to a place called the Ob. And they sit down to get drinks and everything. They're to have some Mezcal drinks, and Jason's going to get Natalie, like, a Mezcal margarita. Like, I think you might like it. It's smoky. It's perfect.

[D]

And this really hot guy who's attracted to the camera. I mean, Venus comes over, and he's like, so how are the drinks here? Wow, Is that a smoking honey? Oh, God, yeah. Can I taste yours before I order it?

[C]

No.

[D]

God damn it.

[B]

Where are you?

[C]

He feels up his, like, arm and everything. I mean, it's like, hi, I'm. Yeah, I'm like. Like, he's, like, not talking, and the guy's like, I'm Kevin. And Audrey's like, kevin, I'm Audrey. Nice to meet you. This is Venus. Venus. And Venus is like, I I would say I'm a pillow princess in the flirting game. He's like, my type, but, like, I'm intimidated by men like him. I'm like, what if he isn't gay? I'm like, he's. He's grabbing your arm right now and he's flirting with you. So he's either gay or he's gay for tv. And either way, take it.

[D]

Go either way. Either way you can him, you know? So Venus is like, I have, like, the worst gayar. Like, I didn't even know I was gay until I was in the ninth grade. It took me forever to come out of the closet. Like, ninth grade. Jesus Christ. It's like a lifetime.

[C]

When I quit the soccer team because they wouldn't allow me to bring my crimper on the bus, I started to think maybe I'm gay.

[D]

Team got so upset because, like, we couldn't win because the ball was crimping. Like, sorry, that's physics.

[C]

I thought, like, pretty good.

[D]

So they're like, oh, my God, what is wrong with you? Like, you like him.

[E]

Go get him.

[D]

I'm gonna go get him for you. I mean, you gotta make a move. I mean, come on, it's your time. Audrey's really talking him up and trying to get him to go bum that guy. So now all the whole. The whole gang is like, we're gonna get him laid. So Marcus goes in and finds him and he's like, yeah, he's with a girl. I was like, well, you guys aren't on a date, are you?

[C]

You?

[D]

And the girl's like, no. So got him. Got him for you. Go get him.

[C]

You know, me and Venus had a falling out, mainly because I sent him a really nasty text and he responded. And then I aired out all the. In front of the restaurant. But at the end of the day, you got nothing for crimping. But he didn't screw me over in a major way. That's just totally unforgiving. I'm also drunk. And anyway, Venus, he seemed a little nervous. I told him this, told him to join us. They're going to join us. We'll see what happens.

[D]

Yeah. So Audrey slaps Venus and she's like, get out of it. He's like, slap me harder, bitch, because, yeah, get over it. You go get that guy. So now they go to a different bar and they're sitting out in the back having drinks and stuff and talking about how he needs to get laid. And Demi's like, guys, let's be classy today. We're Representing a sexy, unique restaurant. So before we get our drink, let's all all Breathalyze. I was like, what? And she pulls out this little keychain.

[C]

Breathalyzer, and they all breathe. They. I want that. Or as I like to say, share all their germs with each other. And, yeah, they.

[D]

It's not like the pandemic never happened. Sometimes it's like whenever people come out and, like, blow candles out on a birthday cake, like, what. What did we just all go through? Like, why are we pretending like that never happened? Moment, right? Like, okay, now let's just all blow all over each other and suck on each other's Breathalyzers. And what. What are we doing?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, like, I understand if people, like, share drinks or whatever. Like, taste this. Taste this. Oh, my God, this tastes so good. But there's some, like, weird sense that, like, you're putting your lips on different parts of the cup or, like, the alcohols can kill the germs. But when everyone's just, like, literally blowing onto the same nozzle, it just feels like, here, let me leave this here for you. And now you can have it in your mouth. Yeah, let me deposit this bacteria on this. And now let it hop on board. It's. The bacteria has gotten a transfer from one subway car to another.

[D]

Yeah, I guess we're just so resilient. I feel like I'm the only person still traumatized, but whatever. So everybody goes. They're all taking the Breathalyzer, and so we see their scores. And the winner, the one who's had the most is Demi.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

She's almost to the breaking point of the breathalyzer.

[C]

And having fun. And Jason asks Venus, so when was the last time you kissed somebody, bro? He's like, when I was 20. They're like, oh, man. And Chris is like, well, Rome wasn't built in seven years. We're gonna get a laid. So now they're. So now they're gonna do some role play. By the way, I actually thought this was so sweet. I mean, look how far we've come. In many ways, we haven't come far at all. But I think the fact that you have this entire. Like, all these guys who are like, we're gonna get our gay friend laid. I think that's actually, like, really, really lovely. So. So Chris is like, okay, we're gonna role play. Hey, yo, what's going on?

[D]

Yeah. He goes, let's role play. Let's pretend I'm the guy. Okay? You cannot do that to a gay. I'm sorry, but like I'm in love. I was just watching this. I was like, okay, I love you. I will marry you.

[C]

I know it really, it is hard for us when straight guys do that kind of thing. Thing. Oh my God.

[D]

And Chris is like, I mean he's a good looking dude. He's like tall, he's amazing jawline. I mean, that mane, I mean, looks like Spirit the horse.

[C]

Yeah, he's hot. So Chris, he, he puts a chair in his mouth and Jason goes, I'm hard. Let's get out of here and shoot some content.

[D]

So they're all laughing and Angelica's like, oh my God, he's eating the cherry. Chris asks if he's a top or a bottom. And Venus is like, well, lately I've been more into thinking about being than actually doing the like, oh yeah, Venus, yeah.

[C]

I just feel so sex deprived that I could rip a kitchen counter off the wall. So Jason goes, kiss, kiss, kiss Venus. Like, oh my God. No, I mean me. Come on bro, get over here. Chris is like, I love Venus. I'll give him a hug. And so Mark's like, I'll kiss him. So he goes over and kisses Venus.

[E]

And I was like, she's like, why am I aroused? Why am I around right now?

[D]

So then everybody starts making out. Venus kisses Audrey, and then Venus kisses Natalie. And Shane's like, oh my God.

[E]

Like he's made out with more people in the last five minutes than I have in like a week.

[C]

Yeah, bro. So then Chris is like, oh, oh, if. If this was all. Was, was all some only fans comment, we'd be rich right now, man. Oh my God. What if like you, what if you throw dummy down and kiss her? Jason, kiss dummy right now. He's like, I want to kiss you. I know.

[D]

And yeah. And Natalie's like, oh my God, I wish Lisa was here to see us all actually getting along. Like, maybe not, not the making out part, but like still. And to me it's like, yeah, I want more nights like this because we've like had a great night. Like I'm so happy.

[C]

Eh, look at me, guys. I'm actually having an incredible time. Just look, look at, see the way that my, my, my, my lips almost touch my lower jaw from that's how I smile. I'm having the best time.

[D]

So now they go dancing and they're getting all sexy with each other. And of course the boys are like giving lap. The. The only fans boys are like shirtless and lap dancing people and stuff. And Chris and Audrey are Making out and. And Venus is like, oh, my God, there's gonna be like an orgy. Like, everybody's like so horny and. Yeah, that's it pretty much. Right? Oh. Oh, no. So then we see 17 hours later and Audrey's going, what the was in the video? What was it? I saw ass. I saw dicks.

[E]

It was incestuous.

[D]

That comment is like character assassinating.

[C]

To be continued. So now the big fight happens next episode.

[D]

So I love it.

[C]

That's.

[D]

That's character assassinating it. If. I mean they're all this what it's called. Well, we need a new word for it.

[C]

You're on Vanderpump rules. Just being on the show is character assassinating.

[D]

Yeah, you're doing it to yourselves by being here. But fun show. Thanks so much for being here, everybody. Go grab tickets for the Golden Crappies on February 27th over at watch whatcrappens.com and join us next week week for voting beginning of February 4th. That's also when you will grab your tickets for live streaming. Go grab tater taters. Oh, God, I wish we were recapping taters. That would be fun. This potato I ate today, man. What a Traders, recaps, ad free listening videos, all that stuff over at Patreon. And thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you guys next time.

[C]

Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

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[D]

She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. In a world where January is supposed to be boring, one staple of the holidays refuses to end the great deals at Verizon. The joy just keeps on coming. Right now you can save on four new phones and four lines. Critics agree it's the deal that keeps on giving. Come into Verizon and save on on four new phones and four lines on unlimited. Welcome additional terms apply seeverizon.com for details.

[A]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah and we're back with a new season of am I doing it wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[B]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[A]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[B]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[A]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[C]

Love you.