#3194 RHOBH S15E07 Part Two: Haunting of Shrill House

Summary

Watch What Crappens Episode #3194 Recap

RHOBH S15E07 Part Two: Haunting of Shrill House

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Date: January 30, 2026

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie continue their hilarious, no-holds-barred recap of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15, Episode 7, dissecting the saga’s second half. The focus remains on Kyle and Mauricio’s unresolved separation, the evolving group dynamics, and the absolutely bonkers drama at dinner, all served up with signature “Crappens” wit and playful drag of the cast.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mauricio’s Big Scene: The Saudi Spin & Accountability Dodging

• Mauricio meets with Dorit, Boz, and others, spinning tales of his latest business exploits.
  • Major shade thrown at Mauricio’s “bragging” about new Saudi business, with snark about how it’s “Great for business at all times.” ([01:04])
  • Running joke about Mauricio being “invisible” and Kyle using “Find My Mauricio.”
  • Dorit presses Mo on emotional and legal aspects of his separation with Kyle, asking if he’s thought about “filing.” Mo dodges: “No, I don’t do my own filing, I have secretaries.” ([02:09])
  • Boz calls out Mauricio for allegedly cheating, referencing seeing him with a woman at Soho House: “Any move you make, any step you take, I’ll be watching you. … I’m more invisible than Kyle is right now.” ([05:25])
  • Ben: “Boz is actually checking him. … She’s sending that message, and I thought that was so cool of her.” ([05:01])
• Awkward Dorit-Mo Moment:
  • They discuss being “friendly for the kids.” Mo agrees but is clearly disinterested, gives empty promises to listen to Dorit “fully, with eye contact, not even a mug of coffee nearby.” ([07:49])

2. Kyle & Mauricio’s Sad Walk Down Memory Lane

• Kyle revisits her old house, now owned and renovated by Amanda.
  • Emotional before-and-after shots, hosts mock Amanda’s farmhouse chic upgrades.
  • Both Ben and Ronnie feel surprisingly sentimental about the house, recalling “classic Housewives memories.”
  • Deep emotions for Kyle: “If we hadn’t left, maybe things would have turned out differently.” ([27:11])
  • Ben: “I felt genuinely bad for Kyle. … Of course, the house has nothing to do with the dissolution of their marriage. … But you see her regrets—full of regrets.” ([32:11])

3. Group Dinner: Confrontations & Emotional Unraveling

• Dorit tries to clear the air with Amanda after previously confronting her at an inappropriate time (the anniversary of Amanda’s son’s passing).

  • Dorit admits she continued the tough conversation even after Amanda mentioned her grief—misses the point, as Ben and Ronnie roast: “That's so Dorit to completely miss what she did wrong.” ([13:42])

• Boz and Dorit dissect Amanda’s “cult past.”

  • Discovery that Amanda was in a cult—hosts point out how unfazed the group is, mocking the LA tendency to brush off cults unless it’s “Kabbalah or Scientology.” ([16:43])
  • Ronnie: “Normally, someone says they’re in a cult, people are like, ‘You poor thing!’ On this show? ‘Idiot! What a looney tune!’” ([16:46])

• Amanda’s boundary setting at dinner and blowup with Dorit:

  • Amanda says she needs to get through a dinner “without being verbally accosted.” Dorit is floored, scene erupts in group table chaos.
  • Hilarious host reactions: “That was the funniest—like, that is going to be a gif. That will be a gif and a half.” ([49:11])

4. Comic Relief & Sidebars

• Erika Jayne Glam Content:

  • The contrast from heavy emotional scenes to Erika’s obsession with red lipstick: “My life choice I'd never regret? Red lipstick. Do it again, guys.” ([33:19])

• Sutton’s Mixed-Up Sayings:

  • Repeated failure to grasp the phrase “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”—prime fodder for Ronnie and Ben’s banter. ([34:12])
  • Ronnie: “Why would you pave the road to hell? Just because you’re going to hell doesn’t mean you didn’t pay your taxes.” ([35:07])

• Newbie Natalie Fuller Flops:

  • Her attempt to make an entrance with a hair dryer purse lands with a thud. “I get dud energy … like a box of Milk Duds.” ([37:17])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Context | | ---------- | ------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | 01:04 | Ben/Ronnie | “Yeah, you know what’s great? Coming onto TV and bragging about being associated with Saudi Arabia. Great for business at all times.” | | 05:25 | Boz | “Any move you make, any step you take, I’ll be watching you. … I’m more invisible than Kyle is right now.” | | 13:42 | Ben | “It’s so Dorit to completely miss the point of what she did wrong. … The point is that she did tell you [her son’s anniversary], and you kept going, you dummy.” | | 16:46 | Ronnie | “Normally on a show when someone says, ‘I was in a cult,’ people are like, ‘You poor thing.’ On this show? ‘Gross. Idiot. What a looney tune.’” | | 27:11 | Ben | “In that house, things were good and everything was great. … If we had just not changed, everything would have been fine. … Full of regrets.” | | 32:11 | Ben | “I genuinely felt bad for Kyle … you have to see someone living with regret.” | | 34:12 | Sutton | “The road to heaven is paved with good intentions?” (Repeated confusion over the phrase) | | 35:07 | Ronnie | “Why would they pave the road to hell? … Just because you’re going to hell doesn’t mean you didn’t pay your taxes.” | | 37:17 | Ben | “I get dud energy … like a box of Milk Duds when I see Natalie Fuller.” | | 49:11 | Ronnie | “That was the funniest—like, that is going to be a gif. That will be a gif and a half.” |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Mauricio’s awkward dinner & being “watched”: [00:51]–[06:09]
• Kyle revisits old house, regrets come flooding: [24:26]–[32:42]
• Amanda and Dorit post-confrontation fallout: [12:25]–[16:10], [46:35]–[50:21]
• Cult reveal & group’s reaction: [15:54]–[18:10]
• Erika’s 90s glam tangent: [32:53]–[33:24]
• Sutton’s “good intentions” confusion: [33:38]–[35:07]
• Natalie’s flop entrance, group dinner prep: [36:08]–[37:25]
• Dinner blowup – Amanda vs Dorit: [48:53]–[50:21]

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Tone & Style

Throughout, Ben and Ronnie bring their signature loving mockery, exaggerated impressions, sarcastic asides, and rapid-fire joke delivery. They maintain high energy and humor—even in the recaps of somber moments—while showing surprising empathy, especially towards Kyle’s regrets.

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Final Takeaways

• Mauricio is deeply checked by Boz and remains slippery as ever.
• Kyle’s return to her former home delivers a rare and heartfelt moment of reflection and regret.
• The Amanda/Dorit conflict pivots from awkward to comedic gold, thanks to group dynamics and word choices.
• Culture clashes, cluelessness, and “Housewives” narcissism provide the podcast’s endless source of comedy.

If you missed the episode, this recap captures the wild tonal shifts, major plot developments, and the signature “Crappens” clowning that makes every recap almost more fun than Bravo itself.

Transcript

[A]

Who cares what happens when there's so much what happens?

[B]

Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?

[C]

Well, hello and welcome to Watch Wall Crappings. This is part two of a two part recap.

[D]

If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one, guys. It's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one. Okay, it's before this one.

[E]

Bye.

[D]

Enjoy the show.

[F]

We were literally just talking about you, Mo.

[E]

And Carl's like, have you ever met both?

[C]

He's like, no, no, I don't think we've ever met. Have you ever met Giselle? What a lady. What a lady.

[B]

This is my husband, Mauricio. Some say the hottest husband on Bravo. We have. Our marriage is over now, but before it was over, it was the best marriage on Bravo. Some people got a box from the knot that said so. Anyway, Mauricio, what's going on with you?

[G]

Well, yeah, it's great. I was just having a meeting with my new Saudi partner and we're opening a new agency in Saudi. And yeah, you know what's great is coming onto TV and bragging about being associated with the Saudi Arabia. Great for business at all times.

[E]

Are you kidding me?

[D]

I mean, what does he have? What does he have me on?

[E]

Find my. I mean this town is too small for the both of us.

[H]

That's got.

[B]

By the way, that was Kyle ahead of time being like Portia, I gotta say something about your father running into me. What's an app that people use that's about that.

[I]

Find my. Thanks.

[H]

What am I hun. Find my Mauricio.

[B]

God, my mind.

[E]

My on fleek.

[D]

So Mauricio sits down and Jarit's like.

[F]

Well, we were basically asking, have you thought about feeling.

[C]

Have I thought about your feelings? No, Feeling the feeling like in croissants or I preserve. I prefer my croissants.

[E]

Plane. Filing.

[C]

No, no, I haven't thought about filing.

[D]

Is that what she said?

[C]

I don't do my own filing. I have secretaries.

[H]

I haven't.

[B]

I literally haven't even asked him that. So Dorit's asking that. It's like crazy.

[G]

It's like, well, why Kyle? Did you ever think about it?

[B]

She's like, you have made me mad a couple of times.

[G]

Does anyone know when Kyle's getting to the table?

[B]

I thought I was asking her a.

[G]

Question, but she's not even here. Not invisible.

[B]

Mauricio.

[D]

Hold on.

[C]

I found a trick.

[D]

Just throw a napkin over the empty. Chop it's Kyle.

[C]

She's there.

[B]

So I love this.

[C]

Bose goes, yeah, Kyle has a napkin on her head.

[E]

She's like, God damn it.

[D]

I'm not a ghost.

[G]

I hear that. The way you can find the admissible man is if you throw water at him. Just throwing water at Kyle.

[H]

I'm not invisible. Stop dousing me.

[C]

Oh, man, this conversation. Maybe I just should have kept walking all the way to Saudi Arabia, right? Am I right?

[H]

So Bose is like, well, by the way, now that you're in the hot seat.

[G]

Wait, hold on a second. I can't hear you.

[B]

Let me get a little closer.

[I]

Ow.

[H]

Mauricio, stop sitting on me.

[G]

Oh, I didn't see you in that chair there, Kyle. Sorry.

[E]

You know, now that, now that you're in the hot seat, you know, I almost attacked you last summer.

[C]

And he, he gives that confused face.

[E]

He's like, oh, oh.

[B]

Does like a veneer moment. Cuz he, he, what happens is he furrows his eyebrows. But then since he's also a realtor, and, and the client is always right, he has to smile too. So this is probably the face he gives when someone is like, I would like to sell this. I would like to, I would like 10 bedrooms and I want to spend $1.3 million. And he furrows his brow like, what? But then smiles like, oh, yeah, of course. Anything you need.

[G]

So, so he's like, what do you mean bulls who almost attacked me. I don't get it.

[E]

Yeah, well, I saw you at Soho House in Miami or in Malibu rather.

[D]

And Kyle's like, yeah, and I was.

[E]

Getting a play by play of everything you were doing. She goes, yeah, I was watching you like a hawk.

[C]

And he's like, oh, oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know.

[D]

And we see a flashback to Bose saying, I saw Mo at Soho House with a girl.

[C]

And Kathy goes, a female?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yes, Kathy.

[G]

So Mauricio's like, ah, so you saw me at Soho House. And there was a lady there and.

[H]

Was like, oh, look at him, he's terrified. Who was I with?

[B]

And I was like, you're with a girl?

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

You were with a girl?

[G]

Well, oh, well, you could have said hi. I, I, you could have said hello.

[B]

She's like, I had to choose a side. I think Bose was being such a girl. Scroll here. This is what Kyle could learn because Bose basically at this moment is actually checking him. She's not just saying like, oh, I took Kyle's side. She's like, I had my eye on You. I know what you were up to. Don't mess with Kyle. Right? I kind of felt like she was sending that message, and I thought that was so cool of her.

[D]

Yeah, she's like, hey, it's me, Bows. I remember you because I saw you, you know, kind of cheating.

[B]

She's like, I'm in your spaces. I'm in your spaces. And whenever you find another, like, 22 year old girl, know that I'm there. I'm there and I'm watching you. I don't care how far you go, I don't care how late you go out until I'm there.

[E]

Any move you make, any step you take, I'll be watching you. Okay, now listen. You may think you're alone in the. In a urinal, but I'm more invisible than Kyle is right now.

[D]

Hey, I'm here.

[E]

I'd be watching you.

[B]

I'm the runaway Bosie.

[D]

So she says, I chose aside. And Dorit says, that's called a gwizgo.

[E]

Oh, all right.

[D]

Is that a kind of pickle.

[H]

You'Re talking about, Grillo?

[B]

Pickles.

[G]

Mauricio's like, you call it girls, Girls. I call it a spy.

[B]

Ha.

[E]

Well, I'm just saying, Kyle is my person, so I'm looking out for her.

[D]

And she goes, yeah, we're like detectives and spies. Mauricio goes, no, just spies.

[C]

I got it now. Now. Now I know what I'm walking into. Right? Well, look, Dorit, I haven't seen you in forever. Am I right?

[D]

And he rubs her shoulder and she's.

[F]

Like, oh, my God, Mo, we need to get together. I want to get together. And she shoots.

[C]

Oh, you want to go shoot? I did that with Kyle last year. Got kind of awkward. She started crying, and I made this face.

[B]

Oh, oh, no.

[F]

She shoot, shoot. I want to have a shoot.

[B]

Shoot.

[F]

Let's talking, Mauricio.

[G]

Yeah, well, I'd be thrilled to. Anytime.

[B]

So Dorit's like, well, I know you've.

[I]

Heard one side, a very large, round side that you trying to get around, and the side just keeps on going, and you're seeing, does this side ever end? And then you realize the side has actually brought a side of ribs. And you're like, wow, there's a lot of side to the side.

[F]

Then you realized circles don't have sides.

[I]

But I thought you might want to hear another side, a more glamorous, beautiful side that might bring a fish sandwich, the rare fish sandwich. They don't have those in Saudi Arabia, I believe.

[C]

Oh, okay. I would be thrilled To. I would love to go hear other sides. This is what I would love to do.

[D]

And she's like, but the thing is.

[F]

Mo, I want what's best for the kids periods. And the only way for our kids to not have much demarche is for us to be friendly.

[D]

Do you understand?

[C]

Well, we are friendly, but we. Our kids can support. Be just fine.

[F]

No, not our kids. Me and Piggy's kids.

[C]

Oh, I got it. I forgot that we had kids. So I'm glad you've specified.

[G]

I agree with that statement. And I can tell you that if you wanted to, I'd be willing to sit down and completely, absolutely free, fully listen to you without any response. Full eye contact, not on my phone, not even a mug of coffee nearby.

[B]

That I can sit from and then look down into just a full, full thing.

[G]

I only wish Kyle were here to.

[B]

See us getting along like this.

[F]

Mauricio, I'm right here. And after you've heard what I have to say, if you feel like there's things that you want to say to pq, then you can upload them from your heart, your cornerstone, as it were. Your pescado torta, if you will.

[H]

I'm the one who likes hats.

[I]

Me.

[C]

Me.

[F]

Honestly, I feel at this point I've exhausted every possible avenue to try and sit down and communicate with Puku. And I know that we've reached a place where it's necessary to have some kind of communication in order to go parent efficiently. Mo is literally my only that was Arabic.

[I]

I have even left a trail of Hershey's Kisses going all the way up Benedict Canyon leading to a fish sandwich.

[B]

On a welcome mat.

[I]

And I still can't lure him into the house.

[F]

But I did end up meeting a nice woman named Katie Maloney.

[B]

So.

[C]

She.

[I]

Agreed that we could split the fish sandwich on account of how rare they are.

[B]

And so. So Dorit is proposing, like, I just want to sit down and tell my story. And Mariso could not look more disinterested. Like, yes, I'm sure Mariso really wants to just sit there and listen to you prattle on for two hours while he says nothing.

[G]

So he's like, yeah, I'm happy to do it. I'll totally do it when I'm in Saudi Arabia and cannot be found. So, yeah, great, okay.

[I]

And you know what, Mo? I don't have your number. I'm going to get your number because I don't have your number. And this is the first time we've spoken in quite a long time, isn't that right. We absolutely do not communicate in any sort of way. So I'm going to get your number. Mo, give me your number right now.

[F]

I'd rather do this on telephone other than Snapchat, which is how we usually communicate. So please give me your phone number.

[D]

And I thought this was because, you know, Kyle's got PK's number. I thought this was interesting that Dorit didn't have Mauricio's number, I guess. Why would she.

[B]

Just think about it.

[I]

She was like, look at me, a girl's girl. I don't have Mauricio's number. And America, for those of you who think that we're having an affair. I don't even know his phone. This is so interesting that I am finally getting his phone number for the first time. I didn't even know he had a phone in the first place.

[D]

All right, cut to Kyle going, my.

[E]

Friendship with PK is just memes and jokes.

[F]

Well, isn't that something rather.

[I]

Well, I'm going to call you and I'm going to message you and I'm going to sex you, so you better get ready.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

Well, I gotta get out of here. There's like, something happening next door to something, so, like. Yeah, bye.

[D]

So he leaves, and Kyle's like, oh.

[E]

My God, that is hilarious. In this town, you never know when you're going to run into the person who doesn't see you while they're having coffee and swiping through their phone.

[B]

Summer's like, I'm. I mean, what a night. I mean, first night in LA in a year and I've already seen John Turturro.

[D]

I loved you in the Big Lebowski.

[E]

So Bose is like, wow, Mo's got it. I understand now. He's got charm, he's got looks. He's got a very, very confused, furrowed brow. And I don't really blame Kyle for hanging on. I mean, the question is, why isn't Kyle reeling him in? Get him back. I mean, whoa, you just let that fish jump off the bridge. Get him back. Bang him on a rock, cook him up for dinner.

[H]

That's right. They're called veneers, not vun fars. Get him in.

[E]

So veneer the far wherever you are. Get back wherever you.

[G]

Whenever you are. That's funny.

[H]

So Bose is like, well, before we.

[B]

Get to dessert, we should probably resume the scene we were supposed to shoot.

[G]

So we.

[H]

Let's talk about Amanda Francis, Right? Cuz that was crazy.

[B]

And so Dorit's like, well, Sutton Said.

[I]

To me that Amanda had voiced her concerned about how you're speaking about PK.

[B]

And Beau's like, mm. And Dorit's like, and I have the.

[I]

Right to obviously confront her and ask her if you got this opinion, where did you get it from? And was there a fish sandwich involved? They're very rare.

[F]

But she shut down the conversation, and she said it was the anniversary of her son's pussing.

[D]

And so Summer's like, oh, my God, her son passed. She grabs her heart and she says, oh, my gosh. And Drew goes, exactly.

[F]

Can you believe she said that? When I was trying to yell at.

[D]

Her, I was like, no, I was sad about the sun passing.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

She's like, that's. I wasn't sad for you.

[I]

I had no idea that it was the anniversary of her son's passing. Had I known, I would have never said anything to her. Well, I would have said some things to her. I probably would have said the same things. I mean, what time? What am I supposed to say? Oh, Amanda, I'd like to talk to you about something, but I just want.

[B]

To make sure that it's, you know, not an anniversary of something bad or.

[G]

Or anything.

[B]

And even she's, like, laughing because it is a hilarious thing to be like.

[I]

I'd like to confront you right now.

[B]

Did something terrible happen on this day before I proceed? And Amanda, you know, is probably like, yeah, that's exactly how you should do it.

[D]

Yeah, but the point isn't that. The point isn't this. And I love that Dorit's making it this. Because it's so Dorit to completely miss the point of what she did wrong. It's not the point, Dorit. The point is that she did tell you, and you kept going, you dummy.

[G]

Yeah. You kept on going.

[E]

So Dorit. So Boaz was like, wait, but after you said, sorry, did you go back to the conversation? She goes, yes, but why? Why, Dorit? Why did you do that?

[F]

She goes, well, because we were in the middle of a conversation, and by the way, she was also continuing the conversation. So she said the dead something, but then she also said other things.

[D]

And so we see a flashback where Dorit is saying, if you're not ready.

[F]

To have the conversation, that's fine. I respect your wishes 100%.

[D]

And Amanda said, well, I mean, it could make a custody hearing more complicated. So she took that as the green flag to keep talking about it.

[G]

Yeah.

[I]

Oh. So do you want to have a conversation or not?

[C]

It's time for a commercial. It's Time for a grappens commercial.

[B]

So then back at the restaurant, Dorit's like, it just.

[I]

It wasn't like the conversation had just finished then.

[B]

So Kyle goes, well, I saw her today, and we actually had a very long conversation about this, and she actually asked me to, like, not say anything to you, but she actually wants to have this conversation with you on her own. Yeah, actually.

[D]

So Bose goes, well, you need to follow up.

[E]

But look, I've lost a baby to you.

[F]

I know, I know, and I'm so sorry.

[E]

She's like, yeah, so I know the pain. And there's a very stark difference between being like, I want to share this with you because this is what I'm feeling versus someone who's trying to address something with you. And then you, like, throw it out as defense. Because I can get into any conversation and be like, my husband died. My baby died. I could do that all day long. But I don't. And I was like, oh, my God.

[J]

It's like, damn.

[B]

She's like, I can one up you. And so Bose is saying how, like, that level of grief marks you in ways that you can't articulate it. And so she says for Amanda to talk about it this way at this time, it feels like she's. Amanda's using it as a defense, and she's using it to guard information, and she's using it as currency. So, God, Bose cannot.

[D]

She really nailed that.

[B]

Rightfully, justifiably so.

[D]

Yeah, nailed that. So Bo says, well, I just find.

[E]

It disturbing that that was being thrown.

[D]

Up as a defense.

[E]

I mean, that's what it sounds like to me.

[D]

And Dorit's like, well, we went to.

[F]

Lunch and she was talking about her book. And so I look up the book and I see a blog that says, I was in a cult.

[D]

And I said.

[H]

Homegirl was in a cult. Lord Jesus, come down now.

[B]

They all start cracking up.

[D]

This is so funny because in most shows, someone says something like the news Amanda said. And that's like we said last week, it's a stopper. It's off limits. You just stop. But on this show, they're like, nah, that was shitty to bring it up as a defense. And then they're like, normally on a show when someone says, oh, I was in a cult, people are like, you poor thing. How did you get out of the cult? You know, they look at it that way. We're on this show.

[E]

They're like, gross. A person in a cult wouldn't it.

[D]

Idiot.

[E]

What a looney tune.

[B]

I think on this show, they're like, we know so many people that are in cults that she's just probably lying about this.

[E]

If it's not Kabbalah, you're out of here.

[C]

Kidding. Is that a cult? I just remember the red.

[B]

No, Kabbalah's not a cult. But like. But like Scientology. A lot of people in LA are in Scientology, but, like, a lot of people are in lots of different religious movements here in la. And so that's why I think they're totally unfazed. I also like them.

[D]

So Kabbalah wasn't a cult, that was just like a celebrity?

[B]

Celebrity.

[D]

Popular, Yeah. I was like a celebrity. Madonna was wearing a red string or whatever.

[B]

It's actually, I think, like a spiritual offshoot of, like, Judaism, believe it or not.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I just looked it up. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

[C]

Yeah, sorry.

[G]

You got a celebrity thing.

[B]

But. But Amanda's blog, which was, by the way, posted in, like, 2015. I saw the date on it. So this is already a pretty old blog post, which means. Which also meant that Dorit was probably digging. So it says, eight years ago today, I took one of the biggest leaps of my life. I ran away from an incredibly abusive, controlling and isolated environment, 1166 miles from home. I was in a cult. And then. And then Bo's like, so she wrote.

[H]

Herself that she was in a cult. She admitted that she was in a.

[I]

Cult for two years. It was crazy.

[H]

Do you want me to look up the website?

[B]

I never thought to look up this website. Oh, my God. This is, like, crazy.

[E]

This girl was in a cult. How'd she get there? How'd she get out of there? Maybe she's still in there. I don't know. Did she drive to the cult? Take a bus to the cult kit?

[D]

Where.

[E]

Where was the goat?

[J]

I don't know.

[D]

Girl, you want me. You want me to drive you to it? I'll find the directions, all right?

[E]

Just be quiet. Did you throw away the omelette?

[D]

I'll throw it away.

[J]

Bo.

[E]

Sorry.

[D]

All right.

[H]

There's so much unknown about her. Nico, quiet out.

[B]

Quiet down out there.

[I]

Sorry.

[D]

It was my theme song.

[B]

I thought it'd be special having a talking car, but all he does is just say, yes, Queen, and sing to himself in the parking lot.

[H]

Can someone pull around that giant truck.

[B]

That gets supposed to roll into. Thank you. So.

[C]

I like the. Yeah.

[E]

I do.

[G]

What are you gonna say?

[C]

I just like that Bose was worried about the. Like, the.

[E]

She's like, how'd she get there? How'd she get home?

[C]

How Did.

[E]

Where did she go shopping while she was in the cult? Was it. Was it walkable? Was there a bus, a train? Did she bicycles while she was in the cult?

[B]

It was just Colt Gaia, wasn't it? Amanda's like, oh, my God. Eight years ago, I went shopping at Cult Gaia and I finally left the store and I was like, I'm never going back. So pose is pose. Pose is like.

[H]

There's so much unknown about her. It feels like the picture perfect version.

[B]

Of her is breaking apart.

[H]

So maybe now, maybe now we'll get the real version of her.

[G]

No, you won't. This woman, there's nothing real about her.

[D]

Yeah. So inside Rachel's house, there's blue balloons and we see these crazy pictures of Skyler and Caius on the wall that they're going to be mortified with in about two years.

[C]

They're just both like, duh, so what's.

[D]

Wrong with those children?

[B]

And then this is also a like a producer cam thing. Like, this is like there's a producer with her on. On cell phone. And Rachel comes in with like this venti coffee and she. She is just stomping through her house. You just hear, oh, my God, did you guys see the news? What? The actual. I didn't know anything about this. Hold on, let me move closer to the co. I was like, those floors are so loud.

[D]

Yeah, and her shoes are always very loud. And she's, you know, she's just being stared at by those creepy pictures on the wall. I can't get over those pictures. You know, as someone with a creepy picture. A childhood painting that my mom had done. And I will put. I have, I think I've posted it before, but it's so creepy and I'm still mortified by it every time I see it. And those kids are gonna really be pissed about those photos anyway. So she's like, oh, my God, can you believe that? Like, oh my God. It's all over the news. It's in tmz. It's in Paychecks, it's in the New Times. It's in like, it just want to Pulitzer. Rachel. Rachel files for divorce from Roger Berman. I was like, oh, God, who cares? Didn't have we known about this for 20 years? I feel like we've known that you've been leaving Roger for like a decade at least. Yeah, no one is surprised and no one care. I mean, obviously they care if it's in tmz, but.

[B]

Well, but TMZ will also post anything. They'll be like, Someone, a TikToker with 35 followers fell over in a trash can.

[D]

Booty Taco just shot themselves in the toe.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I called Bueller Booty Taco. I just made him a news headline.

[B]

But the other thing is, like, the. The big news is that they separated. And that happened, you know, way ahead of time because it just. We just. It already had, like, they went in.

[D]

Because we had already.

[B]

That they were separated.

[D]

Yeah. We had already seen paparazzi shots of him with a woman, you know, because that was what she was freaking out at at the beginning of the season. So now she's like, oh, my God, now people know we're divorced. We're getting divorced. Like, yeah.

[B]

So, okay, America around. Get around and come in. Sorry. I'm, like, only in a robe because it's like, it's a weekend and it's, like, day, and I don't know how to do this, but, like, okay, gather around. Come into the front. Okay, fill in the seats. Here we go. I fought for divorce this morning. Typical day. It's not like it was just, like, one thing. It was like, Maradava.

[I]

Yeah.

[B]

Mariah Myriada bad decisions over the last month or last week or last hour that, like, triggered me to move forward. Yeah, There we go.

[G]

America.

[B]

I'd said it all. I'm burying myself. I'm raw right now.

[D]

I'm, like, so raw. But you know what? Like, could you imagine how this is affecting my kids? I mean, they're off at camp, thank God. I hope one of them is not on an ebike when he hears about this. It could be, like, tragedy.

[B]

Like, literally. I want my kids to be moisturized from moisturizer, not their tears. So. God, they're a camp.

[D]

Tears could ruin their moisture. Tears dry out your face. If my children look older because of this news, I'm suing Roger and that's it. So she's saying, I do not have a prenup with my ex. I don't want to give or get spousal support. Well, that's not going to happen. You think Roger is going to not try and get spousal support? I mean, he's going to argue that he built all of your businesses with you.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You're giving that man half. I'm sure.

[B]

Unfortunately, Roger, the D stands for dick. Watch out.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's not gonna happen, lady.

[D]

And she's like, yeah. I mean, like, I. I want this to be like a new beginning. And if we're separating and living separate lives with different people, I shouldn't be paying for that, and he shouldn't be paying for me. Yeah, but you're the rich one, and he will be making you pay. Oh, this is gonna be ugly. Why don't you have a prenup?

[J]

Come on.

[B]

Just so insane. I'm, like, trying to think if I'm doing any events or red carpets. Like, it's, like, crazy. And then this lady, she's, like, on the phone, someone named, like, Taylor or Taylor or Mary or whatever, like, her team, and they're like, we don't have any events this week. Right. And she's just like, oh, maybe. Maybe it's just like. Hopefully it's just like, a slow news day. Hopefully. Like, we'll call if anything else flags.

[I]

We'll call.

[B]

This continues to break the Internet with this news about you filing the paperwork to continue to be separated from Roger that no one cares about. Wow. Thank you.

[D]

So now we go to Amanda's new house, slash Kyle's old house. And so she's with her kids and stuff. And Kyle arrives, and she's standing on the welcome mat which says Money Queen and company.

[B]

Yeah. Kyle and Mo are coming over today.

[I]

To see their old house, and I.

[B]

Just kind of hope they like it. But, like, also, I don't care because, like, I know we did a good job. So Money Queen's gonna Money Queen. Am I right, everyone? Oh, my God.

[D]

Oh, this house. So Kyle comes in.

[E]

She's like, wow.

[D]

And we see before and after shots, and she's basically taking out the floors and replaced them with the farmhouse modern. Typical thing that everybody has now and is probably going out of style in five minutes. And, like, the full wood feature wall, you know, like the. She just did a farmhouse modern. I was like, come on. Carl's house wasn't great before, but it was kind of classic. That kind of classic Beverly Hills cottagey style. What would you call that?

[B]

Well, it was. You know what? She had the. The. That checkerboard floor where she was copying Kris Jenner and. And Kathy. So I was really happy to see that go because I never liked it in the first place.

[D]

Yeah, I never either.

[B]

I was. I personally was happy with the improvements. Well, to me, they were improvements, I should say. And I also just liked it because seeing Kyle, like, really still viewing this as her house, like, why did you change the floors? Not asking me, you know, like, that's what was going through her eyes, right?

[D]

That in that moment, it's just having the one upper come over to the one upper's house to see how they one Upped. Your house is really like it was.

[B]

I know.

[D]

This is. So. I always like Kyle's arm better.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You like this one better?

[B]

I always like this one better. You. I've been.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

Than the new one.

[B]

Not like the new one.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The new one's a little bit much, but. But neither one of them really had a ton of taste. And this one. Remember when she did, like, the. Wait was Mauricio's office. That was the new house, though. Yeah. I don't like the style of. I don't really like Kyle's style, but I don't think this was a huge improvement either, I have to say.

[B]

Well, I will say that I got nostalgic because I didn't really realize how much of that old house's architecture and space I had internalized. Like, as they walked through the living room that, like, feeds to the outside, I was like, oh, yeah, there's the bar. There's the. There's the. I. I remember the flow of this house. I remember how the kitchen looked like that. And, like, when she was like. Like a. Like a half second before, she said, oh, Porsche.

[H]

Using. This is where I used to.

[B]

Like, Portia would do her homework on the counter. I'd be like, oh, that's where Portia used to sit on. And, like, I couldn't actually believe how linked I was to this house. Not. Not to the house, but, like, how many memories, like, came back to me as a viewer because there were so many scenes in this house. And I was like, damn, you should never have left this house. And I felt so bad because I cynically was like, oh, maybe if you didn't leave this house, things would have been better. And then she winds up saying the same thing later and, like, crying. And I'm like, okay. It's a lot sadder when she says it.

[C]

Yeah.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

There was some sad stuff in here. She's like, yeah, you know, walking. Mauricio comes off.

[C]

He's like, oh, well. Oh, my God, look, it's a husband. Look. Oh, my God. Buddy. Hey, let me rub your back a little bit. Hey, you know what? It's crazy.

[D]

I don't think I've seen you since. Hold on. Let me think about it. Since I sold you the house.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because you're the real estate guy, I think. I love that Mauricio is acting like their best friends. Oh, last time I saw you, was it at the club?

[E]

No.

[D]

Guys night?

[C]

No, it's when you gave me money.

[D]

And I sold you this house.

[G]

Right.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[D]

Good talk.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Good talk.

[G]

Yeah. Oh, look, this is nice. You, like, put some glass over here. That's nice.

[B]

They start walking around. We see everything, but it's, like, all. It's, like, peppered with flashbacks. I like that I'm acting like I have all these memories of the way things were when they showed, like, a series of flashbacks. It's like, no, bravo. Just like, I'm just watching the show. Like, I remember when Lisa Vanderpump walked through with, like, a llama. And then they just.

[C]

Just.

[B]

It's like, no, you don't remember it. You're just.

[D]

That was the countertop where Lisa Vanderpump.

[C]

Said, oh, he's been with Porsche Mendo Wonder.

[D]

The.

[C]

She must be the other woman. The tabloids are alluding to Lisa.

[B]

How dare you say that? So they, like, go all the way through, and we're seeing all these memories, and Kyle is, like, tearing up just, like, walking through. At first I thought, oh, this is fun. But then it hit me like a truck. We've lived here when. Like, we lived here when Marisa was starting to make more money. And then we decided we want bigger and better home. But, like, bigger is not always better. And it's. It is really sad because you did. They did have a really good situation going on there. And they. They did say this was her house. She would always say this was her dream house. It was always her dream house.

[I]

And then.

[B]

And then they decided to get rid of the dream house and try to go for something bigger. And the moment they went to the bigger house, it was like. It was curse right out of the gate. You know, they got burgled right away, and then everything went to. And it's like. It's sad. It's pretty sad.

[D]

So Kyle's like, yeah, you know, like.

[E]

I'm embarrassed in front of them. I mean, seeing my ass wasn't easy. Mauricio's and he's like, really?

[C]

Why? You didn't like the marble?

[D]

No, Mauricio is the memories.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Checking Mimi's dad. But why so confused?

[E]

It's like, because it was a simpler time. I mean, the girls were younger.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Now one's getting married, right? And one's going to college soon. It flies. Life passes, right?

[D]

Okay.

[C]

This was fun. I love the countertops.

[H]

No, Mauricio.

[D]

Like, sometimes I think, what if we didn't leave here?

[C]

But then we would still live here, and then where would they live? They could be homeless.

[G]

What would we do with all the money I'm making now? If we weren't in a larger house.

[B]

Like, it doesn't make sense.

[H]

Well, my last memory of being in.

[B]

That house is us being happy.

[G]

And, of course, I think, what if we didn't leave? Would we still end up separated? And what if we didn't let life and business get in the way of us? How do we let this happen? He's like, yeah, so I need to go have lunch with PK right now, so do you mind if we wrap up your nice little introspective monologue? Thanks so much.

[E]

I just. Maybe we should just go outside.

[C]

And he's like, oh, yeah, good. You know, maybe you could do this, like, in the car alone.

[E]

She's like, yeah, I just want to go to the car.

[C]

He's like, yeah, we should definitely do that. Okay, bye, buddy. Hope to see you with the next house I sell you signing. Okay, bye then. Goodbye. Does anybody want to walk Kyle out to the car? Nobody? Okay, then. Okay.

[G]

He's like, how many scenes do I have to shoot with her today? Oh, my God.

[D]

Yeah, she even did that. She even started the scene sad because she gave the saddest how are you? We've ever.

[E]

And it was more like, how are you?

[D]

I was like, oh, this isn't going to go well.

[B]

I felt genuinely bad for Kyle. I will not lie. I. I thought it was actually a remarkably sad scene because, I mean, how could you not think those things? Obviously, the house has nothing to do with the dissolution of their marriage. But, you know, you. I'm like, you have to, like, see, in that house, things were good and everything was great. And, like, of course, the human thing is that you think to yourself, like, if I had just. We had just not changed, that everything would have been fine, which it would not have been. Like, what would have happened probably still would have happened. But I felt really bad for her because also, like, the new house is shittier. And she's like, damn it, I love this.

[D]

I wasn't even thinking about the marriage or the family dissolution. It was just that the new house is so ugly.

[B]

I really just like, man, I gave up this house and everything went to. And now I'm looking back at this house. I'm like, wow, actually, this house is great. I never should have left in the first place. And I was like, that is a tough, tough lesson in life. Something like that. You know, we like to think that we go through life without any regrets. And when you see someone come face. I do not feel like regret. Yeah, full of regrets. Lots of regrets.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So she Gets in the car, Mo hugs her.

[C]

He's like, okay, bye, commercials.

[B]

Here comes one right now.

[D]

And then we go to Erica's house, and she's getting her glam done, and.

[J]

She'S like, oh, there's a reason why the people always go back to 90s glam. It was so good. Oh, God. Like, the red the other night at the dinner party that killed. I mean, the night was a disaster, but it held up beautifully. The look held on, and that's what matters most.

[D]

I like that we go from this meaningful scene about life's choices to Erica, who gives no fucks about her life choices.

[B]

She's like, yeah, you know, my life.

[J]

Choice I'd never regret. Red lipstick. Do it again, guys.

[B]

They show, like, a flashback to her outfit two days ago. I'm like, are we. Do we really need to flash back to this? Are we really, like, navel gazing that much? And then we go to Sutton's house, and she's FaceTiming with Jennifer Tilly, and Jennifer is like, well, I hope everything.

[I]

Goes okay with Amanda today. She left in a bad place the other night, and I heard that she was sobbing at the door, and sun's.

[B]

Like, well, I was gonna send her a text, but then I didn't, so you get no credit for sending the text.

[C]

I know Sutton's one of those people.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I was going to call you when your mother died.

[I]

Yeah.

[D]

Do I get points for that?

[C]

No, you didn't. It's even worse to think, like, yeah.

[D]

I thought about texting her, but then I didn't. You know, there's just all this. Nothing that I have to do. So that took over.

[J]

Well, what you were saying the other day. Do you remember when you said the.

[F]

Road to hell is paved with good intentions?

[D]

And she's like, the road to heaven?

[F]

No.

[J]

Oh. Oh, heaven. Oh, okay.

[D]

Why would you pave the road to hell, Jennifer? I love that Sutton just can't understand this saying.

[C]

She cannot get this right no matter what.

[D]

There is no road to heaven.

[B]

There's a highway to heaven.

[D]

Which I'm just. Yeah, you just arrive. You just arrive in heaven. And there's not a highway to heaven either. That was some Michael Landon lie. That was just some. Some lie. How dare you and told us.

[H]

How dare you.

[B]

How dare you say things about my. My little house family. Yeah, it is. It is funny, though, that son does not understand this concept at all.

[G]

The road to having his vape with good intentions.

[B]

She thinks that's a very earnest saying.

[G]

Yeah, people with good intentions go to heaven?

[D]

Why would they pave the road to hell? Well, why wouldn't they? It's bad enough you're already going to hell without getting rocks in your toes. And pave the road? Why not? Just because you're going to hell doesn't mean you didn't pay your taxes. You deserve a decent road on your way to hell, just as you do while you're living.

[B]

I say, over at Amanda's house, she's getting glam. Done.

[J]

Babe.

[B]

Babe. Babe, come in here.

[I]

Babe.

[B]

Babe, come in here.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So when I first agreed to this dinner, I didn't know it was a dinner to celebrate Erica and Dorit's birthday. And, like, I have, like, a lot of things I want to say, but, like, it just feels like, to me, it's, like, inappropriate to get into someone's birthday party looking to, like, set a boundary with them. Like, I feel my cortisol spiking. I don't know if I'm emotionally safe, and I just don't know if I should really be going to this party. Like, all I'm hearing is crickets.

[D]

He's like, well, it's not your night, and it's not your birthday, but if she has to talk about it on her birthday and she won't leave you alone about it, then let it rip. Who gives a.

[B]

So now we go to Edge Bar, Restaurant, and Lounge. We're at the edge of Mar. So people show up, and there's, like, a big entrance into the restaurant, which means that they all pretend like they're in a fashion show because it's. It's this show, and Kyle is like, okay, so, guys, you want to hear a really funny story? We were having dinner the other night, and guess who walks in.

[I]

Mo.

[B]

Right?

[D]

Guys, Is Kyle here? Has anybody seen Kyle?

[B]

When is Kyle gonna get here? I want to hear about how dinner went.

[D]

The night can't begin without Kyle here. So then Natalie Fuller comes again. She tries to make another splash, and it's just not. The splash isn't splashing. I'm sorry, Natalie. Now you're coming in with a dry. A hair dryer as a purse, which I guess is cute, because you go, look, you guys, it's a hair dryer. And they go, oh, wow. It's a purse. Okay, so anyway, yeah, I don't know.

[C]

What she needs to do, and I.

[D]

Don'T know why some people come in with kind of a splash, and some people, you know, right away, just aren't working.

[C]

But this one's not. This one's not Working.

[D]

Right. I get. I get dud energy.

[G]

What'd you say?

[D]

I get dud energy.

[B]

Big dud. I'm like, are we at the movies? Because I am reaching into a box of Milk Duds right now when I see Natalie Fuller.

[D]

Yeah. And I feel like I should. You know, like, you should give people more of a chance. Like, well, maybe they just need a few hours. But every chance she gets is just. She blows it, I think. I feel like she blows her chances.

[B]

I mean, Summer made a bigger impression than Natalie Fuller.

[D]

I hate to say bring summer. I would take Summer. Yeah. I like summer. So Kyle's like, yeah, I went to.

[E]

My old house today. I got so emotional. I cried for, like, two hours, you guys. Two hours. Mo's face is still so confused.

[D]

And Amanda's like, you know what? It's okay to not hold it together all the time. I mean, listen, you were in an ugly house. You saw it beautiful, and you probably thought, wow, I could have had a beautiful house that whole time. And you regretted it, and I don't blame you, and that's okay.

[B]

Well, we moved out in 2017, but then leased it out to people until 2021, and that's when we sold it for anyone who cared about that timeline. And Amanda's like, yeah, and that's when we bought it in 2021. And it was like, my money, to be clear. I just want to say, by the way, when we say we bought it, it was me.

[D]

I bought it.

[B]

I bought it as my money. So, yeah, I mean, we. We renovated it together, but I did buy it. Sorry. I'm like, Well, I guarantee that you did not renovate it. I guarantee that Eddie renovated it, but that's fine. Okay. You take credit for the buying, but then also take credit for the construction. Fine.

[D]

What do you mean? You think Eddie paid for the Renault?

[B]

No, I'm saying that isn't his. Doesn't he build sets as it is? Isn't he in construction? I feel like Eddie did the work. I'm just saying, like, she's like, he didn't buy it. I bought it. I'm like, well, fine. Yeah.

[D]

She's just construction. She's just one of those people. It's like, I'm just gonna go and diss my spouse of everybody and just remind everybody that my spouse is a loser.

[B]

She's just trying to extend her brand. Is this. Is this part of her brand? Is she just trying to reassert? Like, I have so much money. I did all my own. I'm.

[D]

Yeah, like, I don't need some man. Yeah, I don't need some man. Or whatever. But meanwhile, you're kind of, like, throwing your partner. Yeah, it's gross. So then Rachel's like, I mean, why? Like, why would you share that? Like, why is that necessary? Like, does that add value to the conversation? It doesn't. I really don't think it is. I mean, if we're going to talk about what a piece of shit people are, why don't we talk about Roger? Okay, let's talk about that. And Jennifer and Kathy come, and Kyle asks Amanda if she's nervous about today. And Amanda's like, no, I'm feeling empowered. Did you not hear? I bought my own house. Also, that house has been lived in because don't forget, Sutton rented that house too, remember?

[B]

Of course. And she lit a fire in there, too. It's a smoky house. Yeah, let's ask him. With a smoky eye. So then Dorit comes in last, and she's, like, walking in slow motion like, fish sandwich. And we're just like, hey, hottie. And Rachel, like, jumps up out of her seat and goes. And, like, intercepts Dorit before she even gets the table. And. And then Amanda's like, what time were we supposed to be here, guys?

[I]

She's late.

[B]

L, A T E. I'll tell you who's late. You. Because this territory was already covered by Teddy Mellencamp. So Kyle is, like, laughing because she does love to take a dig at to read. And so now Dorit and Rachel just, like, standing, have a private, private conversation, like, above the table and reads like.

[I]

I tried to call you, Rachel.

[B]

She said, listen, listen. My heart has been, like, divorced for so long. Like, look, my heart is divorced. It's, like, crazy. My heart. Guess what. It's wearing, like, a sun hat and, like, sunglasses because it's on, like, a European adventure right now. Because it's divorced. It's having a divorce party for itself, and I just wasn't hiding it. And, like, there's, like, not a cell of my being that would ever consider getting back with him, ever. Like, why I'm dead.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, my heart's been so divorced. I tried to kick it out, but there's, like, squatting laws apparently in bodies, and my heart won't leave. So, like, I'm still paying for half my heart stuff, but whatever. Like, apparently I still get half my blood, so whatever. What are you going to do? And Dorit's like, but why didn't you fool yourself?

[F]

Why didn't you file earlier?

[D]

It's Like. Well, to be honest, like, I spent the last year trying to deal with, like, the logistics of my new life. I mean, summer camp. E Bikes. E bikes. Summer camp. Moisturizing.

[B]

Moisturizer.

[D]

Yeah, it's really hard. So, like, filing. To me, that was just, like, a new detail in the process of, like, moving forward. You know what I mean? Also hiding my money.

[C]

So, yeah, hopefully.

[D]

Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

[B]

So you're okay, but I can't make hey, America. I can't someone change into something that they don't want to be? Like, I'm a stylist, but I'm not, like, a person mist and. Okay. And, like, ultimately, he didn't want to be the person that I was with for the first 25 years of our relationship, but I'm still grieving a relationship that was, like, more than, like, half my life. That's right. 25 years is more than half my life, which means I am no older than 50, if you do the math. Think about it, everyone. Yes. I'm definitely younger than 50. Totally. Rachel's out younger than 50.

[D]

And Dorit's like, I think Rachel might.

[F]

Be putting on a brave. Kiss him. And I mean, how can you not be destroyed by the fit that your husband, who you have been with for 33 years, moves on just like that in the blink of a snap?

[B]

Yeah, because Rachel said Rachel was like, you know, that person is, like, no longer present and has not been for so long. So to me, this is like basta. Like, it's so pasta, because I guess that's her new word. I feel like every. Every season of, like, every Rachel Zo project season had, like, a new words, like bananas or whatever it was. And I think she's brought basta to. To Beverly Hills because she keeps on saying, this is like, pasta. Like, pasta. You know what? Like, opposite pasta. Moisturizer. Very pasta. Roger.

[D]

She's like, yeah, I don't care, because it's all. It's bastard. So then Natalie's like, well, guys, I just got back from Europe, and America.

[J]

Goes, oh, right, right.

[D]

Yeah. And I had an experience in Europe that I only thought was an urban myth.

[J]

Oh, someone give you a drink, and next thing you know, you woke up in the bathtub and your kidney's gone or what?

[D]

No, I went to a spa, and I had the hottest masseuse on the planet.

[J]

Oh, really?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

And I kind of like you to be more into this.

[E]

And Bos was like, what happened during this massage?

[B]

It happens.

[J]

They had sex. That's what happened.

[E]

You had sex Sex in a massage.

[D]

Well, we didn't have sex, but it got very, very intimate.

[B]

Summer's like, wait a second. Did you have a happy ending? She's like, I did. I did have a happy ending. Thank you for coaxing that out of me. Summer's like, okay, I'm ready to go back to Colorado. So Jennifer.

[D]

I know.

[C]

I think the audience is ready to go with her.

[D]

Take Natalie with you.

[C]

Take her with you.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

So Jennifer's like, wow. I don't think I. Oh.

[J]

I don't think I want to be the person on the table immediately after.

[G]

Well, you know, they're. They're going to legalize this soon. You know, happy endings. Too much sad news. We need more happy endings.

[H]

Well, an ex murderer with a chainsaw could not have gotten that information out of me.

[B]

I'm taking that to the grave.

[J]

Well, thank God I'm not the only one around here who wants to. That's good news. Text me the number of that masseuse. That's the hottest experience ever.

[I]

Wow.

[J]

Do you think he'd be wearing a. Do you think he'd be willing, for an extra 20 bucks, to throw on a T shirt that says, slaughter things while he me on the table?

[B]

So then Dorit is. She's, like, talking to people at the other end of the table, and she tries to say hello to Amanda. Amanda's like, hi. It's like, okay, all right, all right, that's fine.

[I]

You know, girl, I'm gonna be sitting across from you the whole night. Why? What did you go to the bathroom to?

[B]

Did you. You did you go to the bathroom.

[I]

To manifest my absence? Sorry, I'm a little flummoxed right now. Not enough fish sandwiches on the menu for me.

[F]

I worked on that manifest joke a long time.

[D]

Tired. I'm punched.

[I]

I didn't really stick the landing. Sort of like when PK dives into a pile of Pringles.

[D]

So Dorit's telling Sutton that she hasn't talked to her since that night, and Sutton's like, well, I don't really think you were attacking.

[F]

I mean, you know, she's young.

[D]

You know how they are. You know? You know how they are.

[B]

No use laughing over spilled milk.

[I]

Am I right? You don't laugh over that.

[D]

The road to milk is paved with laughing intentions. That's what we need to remember.

[B]

You can't have your milk and a crumbling cookie, too.

[F]

Well, it's so funny when people say whatever you're trying to say, but she's really not young. You know, she's not old, but she's not.

[D]

She's a great woman.

[C]

And Sutton just starts laughing.

[B]

So Kyle's like, okay, time for speech.

[H]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[C]

By the way, Amanda has gone to the bathroom. Amanda's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. So she leaves, and Kyle's like, okay.

[E]

Time for a speech.

[D]

And Dorit's like, what, did you want.

[F]

To wait for Amanda?

[D]

No. Okay.

[F]

Ding, ding, ding.

[B]

Because it's going to get blamed on Dorit somehow. Because Kyle's like, dorit, I want you to start a speech. That way, Dorit's going to be doing a speech, and Amanda's going to come back and be like, wow, Dorit didn't even wait for me. You know that that's what I was expecting to call like. So I wanted to have you all together tonight to celebrate both of their birthdays.

[I]

I'm sorry, is the waitress speaking? Who is saying those words?

[B]

I don't understand where they're coming from.

[F]

Is it coming from a loudspeaker?

[E]

No, I'm right here. I'm not invisible. And it's important to celebrate any chance.

[D]

That we can these days.

[E]

Right, guys? Right, guys?

[D]

I mean, or as they say in France.

[I]

Or as PK Says when he opens up. When he opens up a pound cake, I'm in.

[B]

So Doritos.

[I]

Kyle and I have been through a lot. We've had our ups and our downs, but this toast is really sweet. It's like an olive branch of sorts.

[B]

A disgusting olive branch broken off my garden. So Amanda.

[D]

So Amanda comes back. She's like, do not go in there, you guys. Wow.

[F]

Hello, Amanda. I'm glad to see you. Keep listening. All right, Amanda, the last time we saw each other wasn't very pleasant. It was a heavy night and a heavy moment. But I'm glad you're here tonight. And I think that we should clue the hour, you know, because since we didn't leave in a particularly good place.

[I]

You look. You look lighter tonight. Specifically about 8 ounces lighter. least since I last saw you about five minutes ago.

[B]

So Amanda's like, well, I mean, would you like to go somewhere and speak about it? She's like.

[I]

She's like, well, we don't have to go anywhere. I'm happy to speak with you. Now, it's called a group scene. This is how we do things on this show. We air things out publicly. One of us will storm off, and then Kyle will get in the middle of it.

[F]

Welcome to an ensemble. Now, we don't have to go anywhere. I'm happy to speak with you now. I'd like to be able to have a conversation with you, Amanda.

[D]

And she's like, well, I mean, I need to be able to go through a dinner party and not be verbally accosted.

[B]

Tariq goes like this.

[C]

She just like, dorit.

[B]

It's like there was a cable attached the back of J's head and someone yanked it back.

[C]

She did.

[E]

She like.

[B]

It was. It was the funniest. Like, that is going to be a gif. That will be a gift and a half.

[G]

I mean, it was so funny there.

[F]

Let me say this in as many languages as I can muster.

[E]

Whoa.

[J]

Wow.

[I]

Pasta.

[B]

Sorry, I got caught up.

[F]

Would you verbally accosted by me?

[D]

Accosted? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I used the right word. That's how I experienced it.

[C]

Oh, God, here we go.

[D]

Here's some more of that language. Like, it doesn't matter what happened.

[C]

It's what I felt, guys.

[B]

And so she pulls out her phone to double check the definition.

[H]

And Bose goes, oh, so now we've.

[B]

Gone to the Internet.

[H]

Just understand the definition.

[B]

Sorry about shaking their heads.

[C]

And Rachel just puts her head in her hand.

[D]

She's like, oh, my God, she's about to get killed.

[C]

I didn't see this happening this quickly.

[D]

They're about to murder her at this table. Basta. Basta.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's like me in a small space with someone on the phone, dead close.

[D]

Do you want me to come get you?

[F]

I heard someone's about to get pasta.

[E]

Damn it, Nico. Leave me alone. I'm at dinner.

[J]

Okay.

[C]

That ends Real Housewives of Beverly Hughes.

[B]

Well, thanks everyone for being here. We enjoy having you here and I hope everyone had a great week. And we still have more shows that we're going to record later today.

[A]

Traders Valley, Persian style.

[B]

Get tickets to the Crappies, do all the things, and we'll catch you in the next one.

[D]

Oh, yeah, and we're also about to post our new newsletter for the weekend. Well, actually, it's going up this weekend, so go get it at Patreon, would you? We'll talk to you guys later.

[E]

Bye.

[G]

Bye.

[B]

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Megan Berg.

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You can't have a burger without the burg.

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This is living with Michelle Vivian.

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I love Aya Olivia Williamson.

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She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

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Yeah.

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Yes, we can.

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Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.

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Darn Skippy. It's Tippy.

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Happy are we? Is Allison with an I?

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When you're with Amy Baldwin.

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Somebody get us 10cc's of Betsy MD.

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Neal.

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Put us on a stretcher.

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It's Charlotte Fletcher.

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Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[A]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

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Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

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Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

[G]

We got our wish.

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It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.

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We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

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Tell of Son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla playing. You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

[C]

She ain't no shrinking violet. Coutar. We love you guys.