#3200 Below Deck Down Under S04E01 Part 2: Joseph Smith Down Under

Summary

Watch What Crappens: Below Deck Down Under S04E01, Part 2 – “Joseph Smith Down Under” (Ep. #3200) Release Date: February 3, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

In this lively second half of the Below Deck Down Under S04E01 recap, Ben and Ronnie dive headfirst into chaos as the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City descend upon the yacht. The hosts delight in mocking and analyzing the drama between crew members, the quirks of the housewives, kitchen disasters, and the general mayhem that unfolds with Bravo’s biggest personalities at sea. Genuine affection for the cast mixes with razor-sharp wit, as Ben and Ronnie deliver classic “Crappens” commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Preference Sheet Meeting & Housewives Anxiety

[00:33–02:29]

• Jason briefs the crew: The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are coming. Immediate choir music cue, and the yachties look terrified.
• Jokes about Housewives Luxury:
  • Lisa: “Since when did the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City equate to ultra rich, luxury, high standard? I mean, literally, it takes place in a parking lot with dirty snow.” [01:37]
  • Brittany: “They’ve requested that we pull the boat over to a freeway shoulder so they can shoot a climactic scene.” [01:56]
• Daisy’s premonition: “Somebody’s gonna storm off. Somebody’s gonna cry. Somebody’s gonna throw a drink.” [01:56]

2. Crew Introductions, Banter, and Concerns

[03:14–06:25]

• New stew Joe gets minimal backstory—her entire arc: Canada, Bahamas, fake ID. (“She leaves in two seconds, right?”)
• Mike’s playful but creepy flirtation with Jenna (“What’s your type, huh?”) and his showmanship hopes.
• Lisa: “Someone who looks like they’re walking on the ground, not falling to the ground.” [06:07]
• Crew doubts about Alicia, the sous chef.

3. Galley Calamity: The Frittata Catastrophe

[11:49–17:06]

• Alicia's frittata goes awry—burned on the bottom, still raw on top.
• Ben: “Listen, babe, we can’t use ste. Stainless steel pans. All right, honey bun, you need to use a non stick. All right, sugar tits.” [14:12]
• Alicia burns her hand and retreats in shame, breaking down in her cabin (“I’ve lost all sense of self. I need a career. I need a skill set. What am I doing?” [16:33])
• The hosts critique Ben’s tone: “He thinks he’s being paternal, but it’s just creepy and condescending.” [16:14]

4. Mini-Crisis: Joe’s Family Emergency

[18:51–21:18]

• Joe receives news her grandfather is gravely ill; she leaves the boat mid-charter.
• Brittany: “If you’re gonna take a job on a yacht, good. Enjoy the tips. We’re killing your family.” [19:25]
• Discussion about compassion at work and the realities of staff turnover on yachting shows.

5. The Housewives Arrive: First Impressions & Demands

[23:11–27:06]

• Arrival shenanigans, Housewife energy floods the boat.
• Housewife Lisa immediately wants Vita Tequila. Brittany: “I only drink my own.”
• The ritual fight over rooms; Daisy’s confusion: “They’re all the same, the fucking idiots. Who cares?” [25:53]
• Brittany: “These ladies spend the whole year trying to impress us with their money.” [23:00]
• The hosts laugh about the Housewives’ non-stop, over-the-top requests, which are ultimately more focused on their show than actual yacht service.

6. Ben and Alicia’s Comedy of Errors Continues in the Galley

[27:39–42:38]

• Alicia’s hacking at cucumbers (“Did you cut it with a hammer? Are you Gallagher?” Ben, [28:09])
• Ben: “When someone says they have a passion for food, they don’t actually mean that they know how to make food.” [47:11]
• Alicia misinterprets “medallions” and basic kitchen instructions, disastrously cuts lemons and salad leaves.

7. Table Drama & Infamous Water Fights

[30:24–31:45; 43:14–51:11]

• Housewives revisit their “throw water on Britney if she mentions Jared” tradition. Several do, including Meredith, escalating into a group water throw.
  • Lisa: “Well, because what took up my brain space was the other water we saw later, which is the famous thing where Brittany throws the water at Meredith and Meredith puts her hand out like the matrix and somehow blocks all the water from hitting her.” [31:06]
• Later, water fights and glass breaking punctuate a dinner-table blowup over who leaked to the press and whether seizure stories are being one-upped.
  • Lisa (imitating housewives): “Why is everybody coming for me all the time? I didn’t do anything.” [43:17]

8. Housewives vs. Yacht Crew: The Demands Mount

[37:36–40:36]

• Lost nipple covers, requests for Dr. Pepper, maraschino cherries, seasickness bracelets, and unpacking services—overwhelming Daisy and crew.
• Lisa: “These women are unhinged. All these demands. We’ve got nipple covers where I forgot all the drink requests. Joe’s gone. Mike's on deck. There’s two of us, eight of them. I cannot keep up. Like, what the actual fuck?” [38:56]

9. Finale Dinner Chaos: Cheesecake Disaster & Housewife Brawls

[44:00–51:11]

• Ben foolishly allows Alicia to make cheesecake (“She couldn’t even cut the salad right. Why are you letting her do the cheesecake?” Lisa, [44:19]), leading to sugarless batter and the threat of another kitchen meltdown.
• Housewives’ dinner devolves into a classic shouting match, accusations of rumor-mongering, and a pile-up of health trauma one-upmanship.
• Lisa: “These bitches are next level Delulu. I am over this.” [51:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Lisa on RHOSLC luxury: “It takes place in a parking lot with dirty snow. There was a season where they were walking down the street in front of like a Marshalls in the opening.” [01:37]
• Daisy’s prediction of charter: “Somebody’s gonna storm off. Somebody’s gonna cry. Somebody's gonna throw a drink.” [01:56]
• Brittany on cast changes: “This is the five seconds of backstory we get from her, which is that she was from Canada, and then she ran away to the Bahamas, and she got a fake ID once, and she partied, and that is the beginning and the end of Joe’s entire arc.” [03:38]
• Ben on Alicia’s frittata disaster: “Sweet peas for those wondering, Alicia… somehow it is fully wet on the top, but fully black on the bottom. I’ve never seen this.” [14:17]
• Brittany on yacht trauma: “If you’re gonna take a job on a yacht, good. Enjoy the tips. We’re killing your family.” [19:25]
• Lisa summing up the chaos: “These women are unhinged. All these demands… Joe’s gone. Mike’s on deck. There’s two of us, eight of them. I cannot keep up. Like, what the actual fuck?” [38:56]
• The Housewives’ water fight cycle: “Brittany, if you talk about Jared one more time or say his name, we’re gonna throw water on you.” (Group throws water. Meredith pours a full pitcher.) [30:24–31:04]
• Cucumber in the luggage: Lisa: “...so obviously like a Heather, ‘This will be a hilarious moment. And shows that I’m sexual and horny. Horny for Captain Jason, my former lover.’” [38:18]
• Lisa on the galley sabotage: "When someone says they have a passion for food, they don’t actually mean that they actually know how to make food. And you have to be very careful because they can trick you. They tricked me." [47:11]
• Restaurant trauma competitiveness: Meredith: “My child had seizures.” Brittany: “Well, my child—” Meredith: “I don’t care.” [49:58]
• Conclusion on the chaos: Lisa: “First meal. The charter and the guests are already killing each other. These bitches are next level Delulu. I am over this.” [51:11]

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:33 – Preference Sheet Meeting: Real Housewives are coming
• 03:14 – Crew background: Joe’s brief arc, Mike’s attitude
• 11:49 – Frittata fails
• 18:51 – Joe’s family emergency
• 23:11 – Housewives arrive, room chaos
• 27:39 – Galley disasters escalate
• 30:24 – Water fights begin
• 38:56 – Daisy overwhelmed by housewives’ demands
• 44:00 – Cheesecake disaster
• 49:58 – Dinner blowup: seizure stories and glass breaking
• 51:11 – Lisa’s summary: “next-level Delulu”
• 52:00+ – (Patron credits, ads) — skipped in this summary

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Overall Tone & Style

Ben and Ronnie deliver their signature irreverent, affectionate snark, blending clever Bravo-watching insight with running jokes, hilarious impressions, and brash asides. This episode is fast-paced, packed with Bravo “insider” jokes, and replete with recurring gags about kitchen failures, Housewife antics, and the show’s own manufactured chaos. For newcomers, you’ll feel right in the thick of Bravo-land; for fans, it’s comfort comedy at its snarky best.

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This summary focuses solely on the core content and commentary, skipping ads, outro, and sponsor sections, ensuring listeners get the meaty, mocking heart of the Crappens recap.

Transcript

[Lisa]

Who cares what happens when there's so much what happens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, and welcome to Watch what Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, get right back into the recap.

[Brittany]

So now Jason calls for the preference sheet meeting. Charter one. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And we hear the choir music, And then it goes to everybody looking terrified of the Real Housewives.

[Lisa]

Yeah. Jason's like, well, we've got Heather Gay and Whitney Rose and Meredith Marks and the whole cast. You know, I met Heather in Sydney once. We met, shook hands, and then she went and told everyone in the room that we just had sex. So I don't understand what that's all about, but just be prepared.

[Brittany]

She's doing that on this charter. Actually, I met Heather in Sydney once. I had to meet me at an Outback Steakhouse. I ended up leaving her there. So this is going to be awkward. You know, they're used to ultra quality, ultra rich, luxury, high standard. Just please put a stained mattress in Heather Gay's bed. That's what she's requested. Now, they've been on yachts before, they've traveled the world, blah, blah, blah. They're going to come from a place they want good service. Etc. Get ready to make some sliders.

[Lisa]

I know. Since when did the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City equate to ultra rich, luxury, high standard? I mean, literally, it takes place in a parking lot with dirty snow. There was a season where they were walking down the street in front of like a Marshalls in the opening. I mean, everything takes place in like, like discount stores.

[Brittany]

Yeah, that's the lowest rent one. He's. They've requested that we pull the boat over to a freeway shoulder so they can shoot a climactic scene. So they're all like, oh, my God, housewives, this is gonna suck. And Daisy's like, the housewives are notorious for being over the top. They argue, they expect nice things. And she's like, somebody's gonna storm off. Somebody's gonna cry, Somebody's gonna throw a drink and. Yeah, I mean, she's right. Yep.

[Lisa]

So now it's.

[Brittany]

What are you complaining about? It's called enjoyable television, Daisy. Yeah, okay.

[Lisa]

That's right, Daisy. So 23 hours until charter and Ben and Alexia and Alicia. Sorry. Imagine Alexia is there oh, well, you know narcissism, Right? I came here onto this boat to talk about narcissism. Get out of my galley.

[Brittany]

I heard that it's a Housewives. I heard that it's a Housewives one. So I'm gonna be here.

[Lisa]

That's right.

[Brittany]

I'm here.

[Lisa]

Like, Miami never gets, you know, like, no respect. So Ben says he's. He's talking to Alicia, and he's like, the housewives are notoriously Aus. And Lisa is like, well, at least there's not too many of them. I'm like, it's literally like eight women coming on the phone. Alicia.

[Brittany]

So now Daisy's asking Jenna how long she's been. She's been here two years on private boats, and Joe never has done a super young. So the work is cut out. The work is cut out for her. And Joe's. We don't really have to pay too much attention to her because she's like, I grew up in Canada. I was cool. She leaves in two seconds, right? Isn't she the one who leaves? Yeah.

[Lisa]

This is the. The five seconds of backstory we get from her, which is that she was from Canada, and then she ran away to the Bahamas, and she got a fake ID once, and she partied, and that is the beginning and the end of Joe's entire arc.

[Brittany]

She also sold fake IDs, which I actually respect because that's hard. That's an art form.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

Making those things look real. It's not easy. Yeah.

[Lisa]

Yeah. So Daisy's like, m. Mike is pretty green as well. And Mike is like, before I got here, I was learning origami swans. Like, I was doing hospital corners. I was like, if you make the side of the bed look like a swan, I will oddly respect that.

[Brittany]

So she gives Jenna the second stew position because she's got more experience, but it's still not very much, and I'm worried for all of them. And Ben's like, do you think we should do crew Ditta? I'll bust it out with you. So here we go. Dun, dun, dun. The first test crew dinner.

[Lisa]

Yeah. And Daisy's like, does anyone know the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? Like, yes. It's our first chart of the season, and I think it's gonna be fun but hectic. And Mike is like, the Housewives of Salt Lake City. To be honest, I don't mind myself a little cougar. I just had been a little bit of devilish, having a flirt, being a little naughty and cheeky. I'm here to provide a service. And we give him a good time. He's providing cvs. He's like, all right, well, basically, whatever the gist is, whatever the guest wants, the guest gets. Okay? Get the guest what they want.

[Brittany]

So they're getting the boat ready. Mike's making small talk with Jenna as they make a bed. And he's. They're talking about the housewives being crazy. And then Alicia. Alicia is like, hey, did you. You wanted the black beans, right? And he's like, yeah. I said, we don't have any. She's like, all right, well, they're the same things. Can we use these black beans? And he's like, those are red beads. They literally say red. They're the color red. They're titled red.

[Lisa]

You know that he doesn't like her because if you liked her, he would have called her rabbit, but instead he called her goose. So good luck to you, Alicia. Wrong animal.

[Brittany]

And now Mike and Jenner's still talking, and Mike's already like, oh, so what's your type, huh? What type do you usually go for? And she's like, somebody older. Not in yachting. Never heard of hairspray? Back away, back away.

[Lisa]

Someone who looks like they're walking on the ground, not falling to the ground. He's like, okay, Marcus, that's me. Out of the question. I feel like I should behave myself, to be honest. I can be a bit of a flirt. And she's like, I'm the same, just not with you. Again, the hair. Really distracting. Really distracting.

[Brittany]

He's like, yeah. Having the opportunity to work on Katina, as it texts you definitely feels more in tune with my outgoing personality. An outgoing guy. So he talks about joining the British Royal Navy straight out of college, and he's an engineer, and he doesn't like working in an engine room because it's like a prison, guys, and it can get quite lonely and boring. And the last place he wants to be somewhere lonely and boring when he can be on the top deck entertaining the masses.

[Lisa]

Yeah. He is just going to go, and he wants to be up there. And he's like, I'm this little jack in the box. I'm a jack of the box. He's also not afraid to jack in the box. And I'm just trying to get out, get out. And someone just let me find me. Discover me somewhere that's free.

[Brittany]

Let's not free willy. Sir, I just looked at your Twitter. Okay? Keep your jack in the box. This is a professional environment.

[Lisa]

That's right. That's right. So Jenna's like, oh, 100%. I've always been the flirt. Like on the night out, I'm always a flirt. He's like, oh, you're getting free in the drinks all night long, huh? So they laugh. And then down the galley, Ben is like, so I see us working a little bit more together than how you were with what's her face. And she's like, Serena. But what happens if I'm not good enough, Uncle Ben? He's like, oh, I'm not worried about it. It's not a question of if you're not good enough. You're already established as not good enough. I mean, red beans and black beans, so simple, so simple.

[Brittany]

I've had more sous chefs than I care to mention. A great sous chef could just handle the prep. They know how to cook really well. They stay out of my way. They love. I call them honey. And if someone has standards, I actually quite like that. Cuz my. My priority is perfect food. So he's saying like, you know, I'll teach her, but you know, she needs to be good. So then we go to Batu and Jenna. And Batu's like, so what's her name? Jenna. And again yours? Batu. And she's like, Beetroot, like the fruit.

[Lisa]

And I love Batul goes, do you really think that. Do you really think that my name is Beetroot? It's like, well, sorry, so what is your name? Virgin. But Beetroot. That's so funny. Could you imagine?

[Brittany]

Literally think my name is Beetroot, you fucking nitwit.

[Lisa]

You idiot. You idiot. Beetroot. Oh my God, that cracked me up. I was like, I love this girl. She's already like, out front is one of my favorites.

[Brittany]

So now it's time to get ready for bed at the end of day one and Eddie and Mike are sharing a room and Mike is still talking about girls. I. Mike's. Is it creep vibes? I don't. I think it's the hair. You know what? I need to just get over it because it's judging someone for something. It's like hair bigotry and it's not fair. But right now I'm getting creep.

[Lisa]

I think you're. Of all the things we can make fun of as a bad haircut, like that is. That is the most intentional thing, right? And we've already seen. He's adjusted it so that's. It's all. He's already. He's already made it a little bit better. So I think go for it. Because the Hair is just honestly too distracting. It's. It's just. It's wild.

[Brittany]

It looks like.

[Lisa]

It looks like a lotus flower, you know?

[Brittany]

And he's one of the love island types who comes on and is immediately like, all right, who we hooking up with? Guys. Who. Who are you gonna get? Who am I gonna get? I'm with girls. I'm working with the girls. I'm gonna get one of the girls, so keep it in your pants, buddy. So he's asking Eddie his type, and Eddie's like, well, it's tough because I've been single now for years, you know? And he's like, okay, but say, for example, we're on a night out. You've got a chance. And he's like, with this lot? And he goes, yeah, with this lot. He's like, well, one of them called me Beetroot already. God, that girl's really obsessed. All right, what would you typically go for? Let's talk about our boners. And he's like, well, I like Alicia. So Eddie does the math, or Mike does the math. And he's like, well, there's five girls and there's four guys, so that means you're not getting laid. You're not getting laid, Mike.

[Lisa]

Yeah, short guy always misses out. So Eddie. Eddie tells us, growing up, I was really small. I was always the shortest at school, and for me, I was quite a late bloomer. So that just sucked. But being at an all boys school where everyone's just, like, talking about, like, looking at me and. And I got, you know, I'm looking. I've got, like, the hair down. Everyone's got hair. But I'm like, I don't have hair yet. And I just struggle with body image a lot. Like, I just. I just want to be a hairy, tall person. But there was a moment that I was in rugby, rugby changing room, and I was just like, wow, look at all these guys. No one cares. They all have different shapes and sizes and hair. And now we're all having sex. It's exciting and thrilling.

[Brittany]

I was really insecure until one of the rugby guys slapped me in the face with his dong and told me to get the fuck over it and then farted in my face. So, you know, I've gotten a lot more confident in myself. And now I'm the first one who whips his towel off and gets in there like, whoa. Young naked now. Yeah. Ropey.

[Lisa]

I forget, was Eddie. Where was Eddie from? I don't remember if he was American or British or somewhere else.

[Brittany]

He's British. So Eddie's like, okay, so you're just gonna screw the crew for the sake of a shag? Oh, yeah, yeah. All of a sudden. Come with God. Just go to bed. Leave me alone, you sex pest.

[Lisa]

Yeah, seriously. So it's 8am, five hours until the charter, and everyone's getting ready and everything. And we're in the galley and Ben is observing that Alicia is making a frittata, which, what could go wrong? I mean, frittatas are a little bit of a fraught experience no matter what, even if you do know what you're doing. So Alicia going at it, you're like, the fact that they're already highlighting this on the show, we already know something's gonna go wrong, right?

[Brittany]

And it's not just a frittata, it's a gigantic frittata, right? It's a crew. It's a crew mess feed. Frittata. It's too big.

[Lisa]

Frittata.

[Brittany]

Everyone thinks eggs are so. Eggs are easy when you're cooking one or two or maybe three, but a whole pan of frittata? No, it's hard. It's hard, guys.

[Lisa]

Yeah. Big frittata is big danger.

[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

Jason gets a voice text from Heather that's like, hey, Jason, the sisterhood is boarding a charter plane. Hope you're ready for us. And keep your room open for late at night for when we around. As in just have a conversation.

[Brittany]

Keep your condoms ready, Heather. Gays on the way.

[Lisa]

I can't wait for you to be inside me with your wisdom.

[Brittany]

So now we cut back to Alicia making the frittata. And she's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh my God, Mommy was right. And Ben comes in, he's like, oh my God, is it burnt? What's happening in here? What happened? Did you burn it? She goes, well, it was burning, but also not cooking through. So what does that mean? He's like, how the did that happen? That's not exactly a great look. It is, is it, honey? Listen, babe, we can't use ste. Stainless steel pans. All right, honey bun, you need to use a non stick. All right, sugar tits.

[Lisa]

All right.

[Brittany]

With eggs. All right, just get it in the trash and start over again.

[Lisa]

Sweet peas for those wondering, Alicia, is she. She flips the frittata out of the pan on a big platter and of course, like, wet egg goes everywhere because somehow it is fully wet on the top, but fully black on the bottom. I've never seen this. Like, I know frittatas are hard, but I've never seen this kind of ineptitude of round one.

[Brittany]

I think she was just putting all the mix in there and then just letting it sit there and thinking it would cook through. When you've got to stir, stir, stir right up to.

[Lisa]

Yeah. I think, like, also the stove top frittata is a bit harder. Like you have to cover it or, but. Or like it should be an oven thing like Ben did. But I don't know, like she. I think she had a high flame on or something.

[Brittany]

Or I just felt bad because she was like, you know what? I can do frittatas. Let's do that. He's like, okay, if that's what you can do, do a frittata. She's like, here we go, mon master. Frittata. And then it's like, shit, should have listened to Mom. Frittata.

[Lisa]

Just send that frittata down the ski slope. This is what we do.

[Brittany]

Put that in the care package and send it to your mom for Mother's Day. Just say, I should have listened, Mum.

[Lisa]

And then in the middle of this frittata chaos, Alicia winds up burning her hand. She's like, oh, now I've just burned my hand. Oh, all the plates are hot. He's like, which ones? These ones. He's like, why are they hot? They were underneath. They're literally boiling. So he touches one, he's like, oh, all right. It's not that bad. Take a nav. It'll get better. He's like, come on, we're doing this. She's like, I'm just going to use the toilet quickly.

[Brittany]

He's like, don't take too long, Sweet, sweet face. Listen here, ass. Ass Kinkle.

[Lisa]

Ask Honey Kankos. Get in here, Honey Cankos.

[Brittany]

Seriously, though, he really needs to lighten up with his, like, sexist, you know, small talk in the kitchen. What the hell?

[Lisa]

Well, what's weird is that he's like, actually trying to be light hearted because he's. He's sort of smiling and he's not we. Because we know when Ben gets angry, he's like, come on. And he, like, throws a towel here. He's sort of smiling and trying to be, like, in his mind, he thinks he's actually being warm and paternal, but it just is creepy and condescending.

[Brittany]

Yeah. So now Alicia is crying in her room while everybody else is eating the breakfast that she kind of made. And she's like, I'm just so embarrassed, you know, because I'm insecure, and maybe I'm having an identity crisis because not going to culinary school was a huge mistake, you know, but mom persuaded me cooking wasn't for me, and. And I found myself in Whistler, Canada, doing ski season, falling in love, and I just forgot about cooking. I've lost all sense of self. I need a career. I need a skill set. What am I doing?

[Lisa]

You know, you don't have to go to culinary school, but you could, like, cook. You could. You could go skiing during the day, and then at dinner time, you could cook something for yourself. Like, there's. There were ways to sort of keep your. You know, to feed your. Literally feed your. Your interest in this. But it sounds like she just started skiing and, like, did not even touch a kitchen for a year.

[Brittany]

So I think they really liked her for the show, and they were like, okay, well, we've got everybody we need, but we like her. Just put, let's have a sous chef. But we never have a sous chef. Just, she's. She's cute. It'll be fun.

[Lisa]

She's.

[Brittany]

She's got a good personality. Just put her in there. Although she did replace that arrogant guy, so. But anyway, I think they were just like, we wanted her. Let's just. And she's like, well, I've cooked before. I have a microwave. And they're like, great. And so, you know, now we're seeing, you know. Cause by the end of the season last year, Serena was getting a lot of hate because, you know, she went a little looney dance in the kitchen, and now we're gonna see the difference. Like, see, what you had last year, you had nothing but pleasure last year compared to what you're about to get.

[Lisa]

Yeah, that's exactly right. So Daisy and Joe's bunk, and there's a phone that's ringing. It keeps on ringing and rigging and ringing, and people are getting into their whites, and everyone's getting ready, and there's lots of chaos. And Eddie is talking to Mike, and he's saying how he saw that Alicia was crying, and Mike's like, why, though? The only thing I heard is that she's banned her palm. And Eddie's like, but I wonder if Ben yelled at her. He seems like kind of the guy who might do that. Zen. One moment, and then just like, I don't know. All chefs are just so scary. That's one of the benefits of being short, is when they throw a pan at your head, it just goes right over it.

[Brittany]

So now it's 30 minutes till charter, and the housewives are all getting in their van to go to the boat, and Joe's dad calls her, and they speak in French and dun, dun, dun. She crouches on the ground. And we found out. I don't know, man. It's dangerous. I worry if I was on a deck, a deck crew, I would be really worried about leaving my family. Because something every season happens to somebody's family member. It's like a weird lottery that happens on these boats, and it's like, oh, you're taking a job on a yacht. Good. Enjoy the tips. We're killing your family. We're killing them.

[Lisa]

There is a bit of a morbid streak, but, yeah, her grandfather is basically in the hospital, and he wasn't doing well as it was, and he. Yeah, things are bad. So she finds out. She's crying, and d. Like, are you okay, Joel? And Joe's like, I'm really sorry, but I need to go. What's happening? It's a family emergency. My grandmother's really sick. Daisy's like, do what you need to do to go home. That's okay. Because, you know, Daisy seen her CV and sees that her only experience is working at a Hallmark store. She's like, get her out of here. Go be with your family. Yeah.

[Brittany]

And it just shows. I could not be a manager. I just couldn't do it. I would be terrible. And I knew this working in restaurants, I had to kind of do it. Like, I did had a head waiter. Stuff would, like, have to train the waiters and stuff. And I would just be like, oh, my God. Because anything I. I was like, that's just an excuse, you know? But I broke my leg. I'm like, then get a roller skate, you know? And I used to be that guy who was like, I came in here after getting Lasik. I literally could not see, which I couldn't. And I was literally dropping plates onto people's heads. It was not pretty. But I went to work anyway. And I'm like, you should go to work anyway. It's like your grandpa's. And then she Says, like, my grandpa was sick. He had cancer. You know, he's had cancer for a while. I'm like, then why did you come to work in the first. Why did you take this job? I'm just not sensitive enough to do it. Yeah, I would fire myself as a manager because I have no sensitivity. Be like, your grandpa. It's not like it's your dad.

[Lisa]

Get back to work. You say that you're actually so sensitive, and that's what's so funny, is that you're like, I would be like, whatever. You were like, the kindest and most sensitive person.

[Brittany]

Like, hey, oh, you're so nice. Well, but when it comes to work and stuff. Not with you.

[Lisa]

You're not literally always like, babe, it's okay.

[Brittany]

So. But you know how people are different at work. I mean, we work together, but we're, you know, we're friends. It's different. But I'm. Yeah, I'm one of those people who's a little different when I'm waiting tables.

[Lisa]

Daisy says, I don't like seeing people upset. I don't like seeing people upset. I mean, look at me, Daisy. People pleaser. And I don't like seeing people struggle dealing with family stuff unless they're just totally inept, and they're no business being on the yacht in the first place, in which case, have a good flight home, because that would crush me. But at the same time, we have a huge charter coming up with the housewives coming. We're so.

[Brittany]

You are. But on the bright side, housewives don't eat a lot, and all they do is talk and throw things at each other. So as long as you have fresh glasses of water, you're fine.

[Lisa]

And the thing is that, like, the housewives don't have to do the annoying flexes that the normies have to do on this show. So, like, when you have a normie coming onto the show, this is their moment to make a splash on America. So they'll be like, could you make my bed okay? Wait, can you. Okay, sorry. It's been two hours. Can you take the sheets off? Can you make it again? You know what I would really need? I need some gold leaf for my steak. Oh, you know what else could I get? Can I get some clams casino? Can I get some crab legs? Can I get some truffles? Because they need to, like. They're like, oh, my God. I need to, like, have this moment. But the househouses are busy. They have to. They have to just do their show. So they're busy with Their own requests. Like their own. They may request something to be ironed, but they're not going to be like fussy the way someone with a teeny tiny window of fame is going to be.

[Brittany]

They, I mean, they kind of are though because they, they ask them to unpack them. Heather asked them to unpack them. Right. I think it's Heather.

[Lisa]

Yes. And, and like Lisa makes some requests. But I'm saying that like, there's some people who make the absolute craziest requests because it's like they're. It's the first time that they've ever stepped into luxury.

[Brittany]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

And they're acting.

[Brittany]

These ladies spend the whole year trying to impress us with their money.

[Lisa]

So it's just like a random. They're more focused on each other. Right. They're more focused on like one upping each other than making a splash on blow deck.

[Brittany]

Yeah. So Daisy tells the captain that, that that girl's leaving and they're just going to have to deal with it. So he announces to the crew that this is going to happen and they have to help each other and stuff like that. And now the housewives are here and Andrew's like, oh, my God, it is so beautiful. We are in Greece. I am Greek. This is not Greek. It's not Greece.

[Lisa]

Look at this beautiful boat. I can't wait to puke on every inch of it.

[Brittany]

Yeah. So now they meet up with the ladies. Ladies, we're going to get you nice and well acquainted to the boat with Daisy and we're going to cruise around for about an hour and hopefully you get wet. I mean, we're going to get you in the water. Why did I say it like that? And Heather's like, ooh, Captain J, did you notice that Heather yelled out every single line? She yells it and she's like hoarse because she's yelling.

[Lisa]

She's totally hoarse. Yeah, I noticed that her voice is like crackly and cuz she's doing too much. She's doing too much. So now people are getting drinks and Lisa is like, oh my God. I love a good greeting with a cocktail. I love this. Is this Vita tequila? Does kind of want to have Vita Tequila? Oh my God. We're international now.

[Brittany]

Wow. I only drink my own. So now they're getting drinks and they're getting margarita shots and Britney's like, oh my God. Your name is Mike. I love your accent. I love it.

[Lisa]

Were you named after the phone? The microphone? No, it's. Oh, your name's just Mike. Wow.

[Brittany]

So Jason, just sing into Your head.

[Lisa]

It does look like it's something. You know What? His hair.

[Brittany]

His hair sort of looks like a fuzzy mic. Those fuzzy ones, you know, they use.

[Lisa]

In the field or like a makeup brush, right?

[Brittany]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa]

Really? There's so many. It can go in so many different directions. Pumpkin. It's like a hair. Pumpkin. Okay, so Jason, he checks in on Joe. He's like, you're doing the right thing. You got to remember that. And if you have any. If you're. If you're feeling alone, just think to yourself, Outback Steakhouse. That's where you can go.

[Brittany]

If ever you miss this, just listen to that lady screaming. Heather's like, oh, did you guys hear? Captain Jason just said he was gonna get me wet again.

[Lisa]

All right, ladies, I'm gonna give you a tour. You ready? And there's only six of you. Wait, there's still one more coming. All right, well, here we go. That's a room. That's room. That's a ceiling. That's a floor. Congratulations, you're on a boat. Who wants a pizza?

[Brittany]

And they're doing the fighting over rooms. Like, oh, my God, he's going to get this room. He's going to get that room. She's like, they're all the same, the fucking idiots. Who cares?

[Lisa]

He's like. Because Daisy is, like, not used to the housewives tradition of running around a vacation space looking for a room. So she's like, what are they doing? Why the fuck are they taking rooms?

[Brittany]

Daisy, you are the boss. You've got to control these animals. Looking for brooms. She's like, all right, well, that's the sun deck there, and they're talking about the view. Daisy, this is fabulous. Oh, my God.

[Lisa]

Okay, wait. Where's the active volcano? I heard there's a volcano. Does the volcano have Vita tequila? Is it a Vita cano? Oh, my God. That pyroclastic flow is just tequila coming out of a mountain. I love that. I love it here.

[Brittany]

And then Britney finds out she's got the last room, which seems great because everyone else has to share, but Bronwyn is missing, which means Britney's gonna have to share with Bronwyn.

[Lisa]

So now Daisy tells Jason that Bronwyn's coming late, and then it's time to leave the dock. And Heather's like, throw those lines, boys, the way you Captain Jason throws me around a bedroom. We're gonna get ready to set sail. Like the way that Captain Jason set his penis on my lady.

[Brittany]

Sails.

[Lisa]

Yeah, set sail.

[Brittany]

Like, Jason sat on my face.

[Lisa]

Lift that anchor. The way he lifted my butt cheeks up to get inside. Yeah.

[Brittany]

I got freaky boys down in the galley. All right, now we're gonna do guest lunch. Now we're gonna do sliders. I think we should do a really nice lobster salad. She's like, okay, so she's chopping a cucumber, and he's like, what is that? It's a cucumber. For what? The salad. Did you cut it with a hammer? Are you Gallagher?

[Lisa]

She's like, no. A chainsaw? No. Hacksaw. I could go all day. It's a lot of instruments.

[Brittany]

Did you chew this up and spit it out onto the plate? What did you do here, honey?

[Lisa]

Did you throw it at the wall fan? No. Well, maybe. Yes. Ben's like, that's all right, babe. Okay. It's just. I don't know if we can use that. It's too rough. It looks like kibble. No. When we do guest food, just kind of run it past me a little bit because, you know, we might put ourselves in a position where you do something I don't like, and then you kind of maybe waste time. Yes. Day. The red beans over there.

[Brittany]

If you could cut the way you finish my sentences and a terrible accent, then you'd be golden, honey hips. All right, now listen. Get out of the way. The cucumber. So now Joao is telling everybody to set up. You know, everybody's getting ready. Hors d', oeuvre, champagne, everything. And Brittany is talking about Jared, her loser boyfriend, for those of you who don't know. But everybody needs to respect him because he is cousins with Donnie and Marie. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

[Lisa]

He's an Osmond.

[Brittany]

So she's like, well, guys. I mean, I could flirt with guys, but I'm not going to be into somebody that's not into me. You know what I mean? And they're like, angie goes, but Jared's not into you, though, and you're still into him.

[Lisa]

You know, she should understand where her daughter's coming from. Now. I'm not going to be with someone who's not into me. Right.

[Brittany]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lisa]

So then Jason's sending a text to. To his Norma, whose name is Shelly, asking for a new stew. And then down in the galley, Daisy's like, so, what am I bringing up? Well, some smoked salmon, buttered crostini, super simple green olive taponade, and ask them if they want some misshapen cucumber bits that Sugar Shoulders cut up the other day.

[Brittany]

Inform them of the bad news that a cucumber has been murdered, slaughtered, killed, crushed, destroyed, disseminated. Just tell them decimated. I meant not disseminated. We won't disseminate that because it's terrible. It's awful goddamn work. All right, share.

[Lisa]

Out of the way, maple crotch. We got this food to go upstairs.

[Brittany]

Jenna, we're training her like a cat. You know how you treat a cat with spray bottles? We're training Britney by throwing food at her. I mean, by throwing water on her. Because I just told Britney, britney, if you talk about Jared one more time or say his name, we're gonna throw water on you. And I forgot about this. Yeah. So she says, like, well, you know, guys, Jared doesn't love me. And like, aha, we're throwing water on you. So they're all kind of throwing water on her. At least. Whitney and like, three or four of them. Yeah, three or four of them threw water on her.

[Lisa]

Yeah, they pulled start a whole picture on Britney. I totally forgot about this.

[Brittany]

Well, Meredith. Yeah, Meredith gets the whole picture.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

Oh, yeah. You forgot about that.

[Lisa]

Yeah, I just forgot about it because there was. Well, because what took up my brain space was the other water flowing that we saw later, which is the famous thing where Brittany throws the water at Meredith and Meredith puts her hand out like the matrix and, like, somehow blocks all the water from hitting her. So that was the preeminent water memory that I have. And I'll just say water five more times for people who like hearing my New York accent. So, Bronwyn, and this was back in.

[Brittany]

The fun days when Meredith was still being kind of nice to Brittany. Like, she was pouring the water, like, in kind of a good natured way. And she's like, wasn't that fun? Look at us just be girls.

[Lisa]

Commercials. Here comes one right now. Instacart helps you get what you need fast. Like when the watch party at your place finally makes it out of the group chat, suddenly you need snacks, drinks, and all the things nobody planned for. With Instacart, you can get groceries and party essentials delivered.

[Brittany]

Just download the app, place your order.

[Lisa]

And it shows up in as fast as 30 minutes. That way, hosting feels easy and looks like you had a plan all along. Get the Instacart app today and get game day deals. Bronwyn arrives at the island and she's in her silly kind of, like, yellow outfit with the inner tube stitched into it.

[Brittany]

She looks insane. And it's so funny seeing her out of context, because on the show, we're Used to it, you know, But I wonder what we would feel if we were watching this the first time. I think my instincts have always been right. I'm just like, no, I don't trust that person. I don't trust anybody who comes on their own dressed in a pool floaty, and then is all serious like you guys. I'm just having a really rough time. That's why I'm late.

[Lisa]

She arrives looking like Benny the Cab taking swim lessons. And she's very serious about it. But you're right out of context, it's so funny. In the, in the context of Below Deck, it just really looks so goofy. When you watch Salt Lake City, it's just like, what, what she's wearing, what they all wear. But in the context of Below Deck, you realize how the Real Housewives do just kind of dress up in this crazy way. Because a lot of, you know, we've seen all these guests that always come on the boat and they always wear sort of the same kind of flowy outfits or certain kind of looks. But the Real Housewives have definitely an aesthetic, which, by the way, is a good segue to mention. We forgot to mention and, and to give a shout out, we were on the Back Row podcast, which came out this. This week with Amy o', Dell, who's a fashion writer. She's super insightful about fashion. She also wrote the book, the. The Gwyneth Paltrow biopic, and I think she did one about Anna Wintour. But we went on there and we talked about housewives and fashion and how housewives have impacted fashion over the years, and it was really cool. So check out the Back Row podcast because it's really all about this that we're talking about right now.

[Brittany]

Yeah. But Bronwood's not a typical housewife. I mean, she dresses super crazy. She dresses like hot dogs and stuff, you know?

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

So she comes on, she's looking crazy, but I just love how serious she is. She's like, it was rough. I've had a rough one. I would. I just took a 14 hour flight dressed like an inner tube. So that was interesting. And I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. So now Joao is showing Eddie how to drop the anchor. And he's like, when you're captain, you know you're looking for a solid right hand man and you can't have ice everywhere. And Juao knows how to run a ship. He knows how to run a charter, and he knows how to call himself Joao. Joao knows Joao. Joao has met Joao. Joao loves Joao. Joao has masturbated to the image of Chuao in the mirror.

[Lisa]

In Zim. So Jason and Daisy, he asks her how the second suit's going. And she's saying, it's going well. And Brahman is now on the. On the boat. And Angie's like, by the way, I am Greek, but also getting seasick. Could someone get me some medication? Thank you very much. We have 30 seconds before I spew chunks all over this deck. Thank you. So Bronwyn, she just sort of arrives. She's talking to people, and Daisy tells us, have Katina crashes. We can climb onto Bronwyn. I swear to God, there's enough space on her hat for all of us. Oh, hearty har.

[Brittany]

And now it's lunchtime. So Ben is staring down at the bowl of chopped lettuce. Well, she's making. She's pulling big romaine leaves off and then lining a bowl with them to look pretty, basically. And he's like, what are you doing? She's like, does it need to be bigger? And he's like, what? No, I mean, it's too big. Or are they supposed to eat gigantic leaves of lettuce?

[Lisa]

I did not think this was her worst infraction, because you could definitely have a salad where it's like whole leaves and then you. You actually cut the leaves, you know? So this was not the worst, but she sort of arranged them in kind of a. Like a. Like an amateurish way. You know, she, like, was making a sun out of the lettuce leaves instead of being sort of like. Like hips. Like that hipster, like, stack of leaves that's just like, oh, I just threw this together because I'm. I'm a hipster, you know, I thought.

[Brittany]

She was making, like, a bowl of lettuce that you. You serve the salad on top of. But, I mean, I don't know. We never really got to it. He's like, well, take some of those leaves and chop them up so they could be, you know, salad. And then we'll put them on top. And then he's like, so dressing. She's like, I am dressed for the salad. I'm gonna put dressing on the salad dressing.

[Lisa]

Come on, honey knees. We can do this. All right. Dress it. Dress it with dressing. It's like, oh, yeah, okay. So she starts to, like, pour some onion stuff on the side. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Leave that. That's rendered bacon fat. Okay, thank you very much. So Bronwyn is getting settled into her room. And Britney shows her the famous unicorn that's like, oh, you are loved. You are loved. Good night, baby. And Brahmin goes, I'm gonna throw that overboard. Which was foreshadowing.

[Brittany]

Yeah. And then Angie's still getting sick, and Heather is asking Jenna to help her find her nipple cover because she's lost it. Isn't that wacky? If anybody comes across a nipple cover, it's mine. Oh, my God. This is not community theater. I hear you. You have a microphone on.

[Lisa]

Well, there's a good chance it may have gotten stuck in the door. That's what. That's what snagged my nipple.

[Brittany]

And Lisa's like, I have a bag. It's the same Lauren bag. Could you. Could you have that brought up? That would be great. And could you unpack us, please, and find my nipple cover? Is this a boat or a plane? They're like, oh, my God, these women are making us crazy, by the way.

[Lisa]

Unless it's still. Still to come next week. How much did you love that? They didn't even bother with the stupid cucumber situation. Right? I think that we. They showed that this week. I missed.

[Brittany]

Yeah, they show. They show one of the. One of the late, I guess, Jenna unpacking the luggage and finding the cucumber and going, what the hell is this?

[Lisa]

Oh, I blocked it out. I obviously blocked it out. And by the way, it's so obvious now that Heather just, like, packed that in there to have that hilarious moment. Because, like, who's bringing a cucumber, right? Like. And if you're gonna bring a sex. If you're gonna bring something to help you masturbate, you're gonna bring just, like, a proper sex toy. You're not gonna bring a cucumber that's gonna get like. Like that. That runs the risk of getting mushy in the. In the. In the. In the bag. I don't know. It's like, so obviously like a Heather. This will be a hilarious moment. And shows that I'm sexual and horny. Horny for Captain Jason, my former lover.

[Brittany]

So Daisy's going crazy already. She's like, these women are unhinged. All these demands. We've got nipple covers where I forgot all the drink requests. Joe's gone. Mike's on deck. There's two of us, eight of them. I cannot keep up. Like, what the actual fuck? And I remember when we were covering this episode, I was like, wow, Daisy is, like, the most stressed chief we've ever. We've seen, you know? Cause Daisy is always like, whenever you see her in this episode, she's walking around. Or on the Housewives version, she's always walking around stressed out. Like, all right, radio, radio, radio. Lunch, lunch. Lunch coming up. Lunch coming up. Oh, my God, lunch is coming up late. She looks like her head's about to pop off. And now we see why.

[Lisa]

Yes. Makes sense. Lisa's like, hi, by the way. Could I get, like, some conditioner? We need some conditioner for help. Britney's hair, it looks so bad. Yeah. You guys have some Dr. Pepper? The Dr. Pepper that I requested? Yeah, Dr. Pepper. Do you guys have some extra marino cherries? Yeah. Todd keeps on eating all of them. Do you guys. That's on my preference sheet. Yeah. Thank you.

[Brittany]

Can I have a seasick bracelet for me and for Angie? Because she's getting sick and the nipple cover has been found. Everybody okay? And Heather's like, oh, yeah, put it on me then. And she whips out her boob, and the girl's like, okay, slaps it on her boob.

[Lisa]

Daisy radios for Mark to come help her in the galleys. Like, five star service coming right up. So they. They. The salad. The aforementioned salad is ready to go. And Dave's like, is this the salad? It looks like a strange sunshine made out of lettuce leaves. Like, yeah, well, you know, what if they don't like it? Alicia made that. And oh, yeah, by the way, here's some chicken tenders. Five star service, high end food, Chicken tenders. Go get it.

[Brittany]

He says, looking at their preference sheet, all they really want is bar food. So there. There we go. Some sliders. So then they're being served. Angie's getting sicker and sicker. And Ben's like, so I need something to put on those chicken tenders. Sweetie pie, please, please, corn crotch, do it for me. And she's like, do you want it in or on the tenders? And he's like, what? She goes in or on the tenders? He's like, babe, stop it. Come on. God. Jeez.

[Lisa]

He's like. He's like, use the bowl. Whatever the. Come on.

[Brittany]

I'm in. What do I. You know what I mean? Stop there, Stop there. Stop messing with me.

[Lisa]

Come on, curry thighs, get with it. So Alicia is like, I have no idea what's going on in Ben's brain. It's like a squirrel that's on a Red Bull that's trying to organize one of those pantomime things. You know what they call those dust. She means marionette.

[Brittany]

He just can't even say marionette. Y' all goddamn cake. Cake, crack.

[Lisa]

Oh, I knew I should have gone to marionette school as a backup to culinary school.

[Brittany]

Mom told me I'd never be a good marionette person.

[Lisa]

I don't. She's like, I can't read your Ben brain. He's like, I don't expect you to. But if I say put the food on something, you should understand that whether it's on or in, it just means a serving plate. Darlings, just do it. Okay. Chop up a lemon, please. Actually, you know what? Maybe I'll do that. Because he's like, medallions. And she's like, but what's a medallion? I'll do that.

[Brittany]

He has her cut a lemon into medallions, and she cuts him into triangles. He's like, no, a medallion.

[Lisa]

I don't know what a medallion is. While you're juggling the lemons. I don't know.

[Brittany]

Yeah, some of this I can kind of get. I can get where he's coming from. It's just how. It's just the honey and the babes. I'm like, come on now. So the chicken tenders are served, and they love them. No one blinks an eye. They're like, wow, great chicken tenders. Perfect five star service.

[Lisa]

Yes.

[Brittany]

So Heather asks Bronwyn, why did you come late? Bron, I'm right in front of you, and I can hear you. And a lot of stuff happened last week, as you might have heard, and that. That really upset Todd. And people keep trying to dig into my past, and there's some nasty things that I've come out in the press, and after I've hung out with this group, and I think that a lot of both of us are concerned that someone in this group is doing it.

[Lisa]

Nobody would do that here. Nobody. No one at all. Whatever. Oh, and then here's Jenna finding the cucumber. And then Bronwyn and Lisa start arguing over, you know, that they start having their big fight, like, what? What? What?

[Brittany]

What?

[Lisa]

What? What, What? Lisa's so defensive.

[Brittany]

Like, what do you mean? Somebody's doing this. You're saying it's me? I wouldn't do that. I never did that. What are you talking about? Why is everybody coming for me all the time? I didn't do anything. Like, I didn't do anything. I don't know. I don't know what you. You look. You look pretty guilty. Like I would convict you of murder at this point because they're acting pretty guilty.

[Lisa]

I was expecting the housewives to be very classy and modest, like, you're all, can you take this for me, please, dear? But they just came on like proper nut jobs. It's like, yes, Mike, welcome to Bravo. So Lisa's like, what? Who fed it? Who fed my stuff Later. Okay, who was going to blog the Solo Tribune? He's like, they sound like a group for my local pub.

[Brittany]

I cracked up at that. They sound like a group.

[Lisa]

My local publisher.

[Brittany]

So now they have their big fight, and they're like, okay, that was fun. Let's go swimming now, everybody. They just get over things so quickly. And now Ben wants to make a cheesecake. And Alicia's like, oh, I can make a cheesecake, no problem. He goes, you can? And she's like, yep. And he goes, okay, all right, we'll be there together. She goes, okay, see you in five.

[Lisa]

Ben, why are you letting Alicia make a cheesecake? She couldn't even cut the salad right. She couldn't get the lemon right. She messed up the frittata. Why are you letting her do the cheesecake? Yeah, you just know it's gonna be a disaster.

[Brittany]

Speaking of disasters, Heather is riding on Jason's back on one of those ski doo things, and I'm riding him like a bronco.

[Lisa]

So then Ben and Alicia are setting up the cheesecake. He's like, all right, this is a traditional tuscan cheesecake. That's 500 grams of Philadelphia, 500 grams of mascarpone, 200 grams of sugar, three eggs, plus one yolk, zest of two oranges, and I'm right here for you, darling. And she's like, got it. All right, three broccoli heads, two eggs, one potato, and a piece of cardboard. Be right there.

[Brittany]

That's wrong amount of eggs. Oh, you said an iron. An iron. All right. Why did you put an iron in there? God damn it. So now Angie is barfing because she has finally gotten sick. So she's barfing all over the place. At least it's on the water. And Eddie's like, wow, I'm all for Angie having a throw up. I mean, get it out of you, woman. Get it out and carry it on. That's what short people are for. Dealing with your bath.

[Lisa]

Oh, those tall people. They get to be so much higher, away from all that puke. But I will carry on with the burden that I have in life. So Ben. Ben is tasting the cheesecake while is boiling over on the. On the stovetop, like, bubbling over, spilling onto the. Onto the floor. And Ben goes, honey, did you put any sugar in there? And she's like, in What? In the cheesecake? She's like, no, I. I thought I just added the eggs and the yolk. That's it. It's like, yeah, but. Okay, does it. It's dessert, Han. Or dessert. They generally have sugar in them. Okay, so moving forward, we'll give you the recipe.

[Brittany]

He. Now, he did not mention sugar, did he? I'm gonna go back to see what he listed. I mean, you shouldn't have to. Like, that should be a question.

[Lisa]

200 grams of sugar.

[Brittany]

200 grams of sugar. You're right. There it is. Oh, Alicia.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

I'm trying to stick up for you, Lisa, but it's. It's difficult. So then Daisy radios the crew that dinner's at 7:30, and Jason has to go to Angie's room because she's sick. So he brings her some ice and, like, kind of vacantly looks around like, all right, well, that you're sick. Okay, can I go back to my room now? These people never stop requesting. Thanks. And then the. Now they're cheersing outside the ladies, and Heather's like, wow, this is the good times girl victory tour.

[Lisa]

And then the galley. Ben has moved on with the actual proper food. So he sends up a burrata salad and marinara. And then we cut back to Ben and Alicia. Well, Daisy brings the food up, and he tells her to. He'll. He's like, I'm just gonna do the next thing. Like, I don't want any fuckups. Because he has done his whole monologue about, like. Like, what I've learned is that when someone says they have a passion for food, they don't actually mean that they actually know how to make food. And you have to be very careful because they can trick you. They tricked me. I'm like, that's on you. Honestly, if someone says that they. That they're untrained, but they have a passion, to me, that means you don't know what you're doing at all.

[Brittany]

Yeah, And I can see how that would be frustrating for him because he's not necessarily there to teach somebody every step of the way. But it's not abnormal for a chef to be like, this is how I want my cuts on a cucumber. You know, this is like how I want my vegetables done. Do you know how to chiffonade? Like, you know, like, kind of checking what they're doing. So it kind of is on him. Right.

[Lisa]

But I think he's also. He's like, realizing, oh, the producers have set me up here. They put someone who has no skill whatsoever. To get a rise out of me in the. In the kitchen. And I'm just gonna push her to the side at this point.

[Brittany]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

So Heather is upstairs. Heather's like, we miss Angie and Mary's commentary because they're not sitting in their bed.

[Brittany]

Yeah, this is them. This is them having dinner. Oh, that's. That is upstairs. I'm sorry. You said upstairs. And I. For some reason, I thought, like, they're in their bedroom.

[Lisa]

Well, higher. Upstairs. The bedroom is upstairs. And we're going even high. We're going all the way to the top.

[Brittany]

I don't even know why I interjected. So she's like, yeah, we missed Mary's commentary. And Brittany's like, I don't miss Mary's commentary. She's like. Like, britney, we have a rule. When you talk, they have to be right in front of you.

[Lisa]

Well, there's other people at this table that you're mad at that you're not saying something about, because there's people who. Who do some talk behind the backs. Lisa, she says that you big sister her, and she doesn't want your advice, and it's okay. And Meredith, she says that you pretend to have seizures and go to a level 100, and it's. She doesn't believe anything that comes out of your. There we go. Drop the bomb.

[Brittany]

I have never had a seizure in my life, first of all. And second of all, I know people who have had seizures, including my son. And now you're attacking my son's seizure disability and coming for my son. Way to abuse a child, Brittany. Way to abuse a child.

[Lisa]

I find that to be despicable. So then Alicia is like, interior, interior gallery needs to know whether or not we should take place. No, they're fighting about seizures. Everything's up in the air. I don't have an answer for you right now. So they're starting. The women are starting to fight. They're starting to have their first major fight of their. Their experience that we.

[Brittany]

I love this part because, well, Meredith is like, my child had seizures. And Brittany goes, well, my child. And she goes, I don't care. I like that Britney's gonna try and, like, one up the seizure story with her own child.

[Lisa]

And Ben is, like, very upset because he's trying to get the food out, because the timing, it matters. And Brittany's like, but this is the seizure that I'm talking about. See, you're saying you're doing the seizure. Stop saying seizure, Britney, stop saying it. Seizure.

[Brittany]

Seizure.

[Lisa]

You know what? I'm hot enough. I'm throwing water on you. All right, I'm gonna throw water back at you. Halt. I halted the water back on you.

[Brittany]

So, Robert, your glue, did she actually throw the glass? Because it happens so quickly, but we see a broken glass on the table, so. Oh, is that from this?

[Lisa]

Oh, maybe, Maybe, Maybe Britney. I don't know. You know what? I don't know. So obviously one of those glasses broke.

[Brittany]

They're stressing out in the kitchen. They're fighting up here. You know, they're having to vacuum around. These housewives fighting. And there was one point where they were throwing water at each other. And Jenna just comes by and goes, it's okay. We'll get you some more water. Not even. Like, I won't get you a towel or anything like that. We'll get you some more water.

[Lisa]

While they're fighting about seizures, everything's up in the air. Everyone, come on. I don't know when they're gonna stop eating. Fucking insane. Absolutely insane. First meal. The charter and the guests are already killing each other. These bitches are next level Delulu. I am over this.

[Brittany]

Yeah, Pretty fun.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

God, these housewives are real torturers, man. Geez.

[Lisa]

Yeah, I can only imagine what it must be like to actually work on the crew of some of these shows.

[Brittany]

But yikes, fun for us. All right, thanks for being with us, everybody. This was a long one, eh? Geez. Thanks for being here, and we'll talk to you next time. Get your tickets for The Golden Crappies February 27th over at watch what crappens.com and join us for live voting beginning tomorrow, Wednesday. We'll talk to you next time. Bye, guys.

[Lisa]

Bye. Watch what crap INS would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. It's always a party on Alison Block.

[Brittany]

Our way is the Amber way.

[Lisa]

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Auto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap.

[Brittany]

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offut. We never miss our call. Diane call Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big yay. It's Emily Gaultier.

[Lisa]

Darren McNicholas. She don't miss no Trickolas Hava Nagila Weber. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go. We all go for Hugo Jamie, she has no less namey Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's not a McBee. She's a McBride. Jess McBride. She's our favorite streamer.

[Brittany]

Caroline Peacock, Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in Your bonnet with Lacey B. Que sera sera Whatever will be will Lauren Silsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsey D. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.

[Lisa]

Aren't you glad? It's Marianne Ahrens.

[Brittany]

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.

[Lisa]

This is living with Michelle Vivian.

[Brittany]

I love a yacht. Olivia Williamson.

[Lisa]

She sure is swell. It's Raquel.

[Brittany]

Yes, we can. It's Savannah.

[Lisa]

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

[Brittany]

Darn skippy. It's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors.

[Lisa]

Make way for A.J. lopez.

[Brittany]

She's VVIP it's Amanda V. Somebody get.

[Lisa]

Us 10 cc's of Betsy MD we're.

[Brittany]

Taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

[Lisa]

Let's get get real with Caitlin o'. Neal.

[Brittany]

Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

[Lisa]

Who, what, why, where? And Gwen Pentland.

[Brittany]

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

[Lisa]

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.

[Brittany]

She's a total knockout. Out. It's Katie Manock.

[Lisa]

Let's get Savage With Laura Wildman in the study with a candlestick. It's Leslie Peacock. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthi. Always killing it. It's Lola Al Kalani. Roger that. It's Marlas Rogers. The incredible edible Matthew sisters.

[Brittany]

She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud.

[Lisa]

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke.

[Brittany]

We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah.

[Lisa]

Tell of son Shannon out of a can. And Anthony, please don't stop. It's solely and pop. Let's take off with Tamla Plane.

[Brittany]

Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet coutar. We love you guys.

[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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[Lisa]

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[Brittany]

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