#3205 Southern Charm S11E10 Part Two: Snitchy Grass Farms

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3205 – Southern Charm S11E10 Part Two: Snitchy Grass Farms

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: February 5, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Ben and Ronnie continue their lively and irreverent recap of Southern Charm Season 11, Episode 10, diving into part two of the cast trip to “Itchy Grass Farm” (aka “Snitchy Grass Farms”). The focus is on the ongoing relational drama, miscommunications, and classic Southern Charm antics—especially the bro-fights, awkward flirting, and what happens when secrets (and bodily fluids) spill out at a country retreat.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Car Ride Gossip and Relationship Confusion (00:35–06:00)

• The episode picks up mid-trip with Charlie, Molly, and Sally discussing Craig and his alleged remarks about Charlie.
• The hosts mock the over-the-top analysis of Craig's personality:
  • Ben: “She just bought a whole set of chickens and a coop for a man hoping he would love her…She's not a jealous psycho. She’s a jealous farmer.” (00:53)
• Austin continues his habit of trash-talking Craig with the other guys, leading to more confusion.
  • Discussed: The straight-male tendency to “act like nothing happened,” burying their issues beneath fake cordiality.

2. Austin and Audrey’s Break-Up Drama (05:10–06:00, 10:57–11:53)

• Austin reveals he’s broken up with Audrey, marking the “first time he initiated a breakup with someone he really loved.”
  • Ronnie (as Austin): “Normally, I just cheat or do something so they have to break up with me, but god, she really wouldn’t go. God, that was a real clinger, this one.” (05:50)
• The hosts lampoon Austin’s self-absorption and lack of self-awareness about his relationships:
  • Ben: “She didn’t do anything wrong, unfortunately. So now I look like a real dick.” (05:56)

3. Arriving at Itchy Grass Farm – Introductions and Shenanigans (06:16–10:57)

• Whitner welcomes everyone to his family’s farm with over-the-top stories about his “rebel” mom, the origin of the farm’s name, and even a surprise Jimmy Buffett connection.
  • Ronnie: “...Later we would find out the grass was fine. It was just…a massive amount of ticks on our legs.” (07:49)
  • Fun Fact: Whitner’s aunt married Jimmy Buffett, “one of the longest running couples in rock and roll history.” (09:25)
• The atmosphere is described as both idyllic and a little offbeat, with jokes comparing the setting to the horror film Friday the 13th.

4. More Rumors, Gossip, and Miscommunication (11:53–14:58)

• Gossip continues as Sally fills Charlie in on rumors that Craig claims Charlie will “fall for him,” escalating group tension.
• The hosts highlight Sally’s delight at the rumor, poking fun at her excitement for single Austin.
• Rodney warns Austin not to "rush out and get a hand job from Sally," escalating the show's signature blend of crudeness and camp (13:22).

5. Poolside Filler & Relationship Dynamics (17:23–21:08)

• The hosts note a major portion of the episode devolves into poolside filler—burgers being grilled and people milling aimlessly.
  • Ben: “It’s really…10 minutes of watching burgers get flipped and people jumping in pools and people milling about doing absolutely nothing…That is what my fingers are crossed for [for next episode].” (17:43)
• Sally tries to extract gossip from Vanita, who refuses to further stir the pot about Austin’s break-up.

6. Craig and Charlie Confront the Rumors (22:40–25:02)

• Craig and Charlie discuss what Sally told her. Craig immediately goes into denial and victim mode:
  • Craig: “I’m ultra sensitive when people get involved in my life.” (23:21)
• The hosts call out Craig’s manipulative tendencies:
  • Ben: “Once again, it’s another example of Craig saying something and then denying it…He’s the biggest benefit of the doubt giver.” (24:00)

7. The Boys’ Club Gaslighting & Shep’s Defense (31:59–34:52)

• Craig seeks reassurance from Shep, who insists no one thinks Charlie is in love with Craig, painting Craig as a harmless “wuss.”
  • Shep: “Everyone knows you’re not some big badass swinging dick. We all know that. He’s a wuss.” (33:46)
• Discussion swings to the classic Bravo trope of male cast members gaslighting, gossiping, and blaming women for “chaos” while the men stir most of it.

8. Gendered Gossip & Agent of Chaos Cliffhanger (35:55–36:53)

• Shep labels Sally as emotionally unstable and a gossip, while he and Craig actively gossip—highlighting the group’s double standards.
  • Ronnie: “Women be gossiping, right? She’s an agent of chaos.” (36:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She’s not a jealous psycho. She’s a jealous farmer.” – Ben (00:53)
• “Normally I just cheat or do something so they have to break up with me, but god, she really wouldn’t go. God, that was a real clinger, this one.” – Ronnie as Austin (05:50)
• “Welcome to Itchy Grass. Later we would find out the grass was fine. It was just…we had a massive amount of ticks on our legs that went undiagnosed for many years.” – Ben (07:49)
• “I mean, I like her. She’s fun, but she can be really crazy, cuckoo, you know? Emotional woman, has no rationality or reasonability.” – Shep, as recounted by the hosts (35:55)
• “Women be gossiping, right? She’s an agent of chaos.” – Ronnie (36:25)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• New Car Gossip and Craig Dissection: 00:35–02:30
• Austin on Roasting Craig and Audrey Rumors: 02:41–04:54
• Austin-Audrey Breakup Revealed: 05:10–06:00, 10:57–11:53
• Arriving at Itchy Grass Farm & Whitner’s Tall Tales: 06:16–10:57
• Gossip Escalates (Handjob Joke, Sally’s Excitement): 13:22–14:58
• Pool Scene & Filler Segment: 17:23–21:08
• Craig vs. Charlie Confrontation: 22:40–25:02
• Shep and Craig’s Boys’ Club Defense: 31:59–34:52
• Gaslighting and ‘Agent of Chaos’ Cliffhanger: 35:55–36:53

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Tone & Style

The recap is peak Watch What Crappens: hilarious, irreverent, and affectionate in its mockery—not just of Bravo’s Southern Charm but of reality TV’s repetitive tropes. Ben and Ronnie keep the snark dialed up, peppering their summary with well-timed impressions, pop culture asides, and running inside jokes (“Live free or die!”).

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Summary

If you missed the episode (or just need a laugh), Ben and Ronnie break down the muddled mess at “Itchy Grass Farms.” With rumors ricocheting, Austin’s latest relationship fail, and Craig’s emotional volatility, the real action is in how the cast (especially the men) dodge accountability and manufacture drama—all while floating in a pool…literally and figuratively stewing in their own messes.

Southern Charm lives up to its reputation for chaos, gaslighting, and the kind of circular logic only possible among privileged, perennially single 30-somethings. Or, as Ben and Ronnie put it: “Southern Charm never change. And I don’t worry that you ever will.” (36:53)

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(Skip to the next episode if you’re looking for more substance—the guys predict a real showdown is coming soon!)

Transcript

[A]

Who cares what happens when there's so much of crapping? Hello, and welcome to Watch what Happens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is probably part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

[B]

So Charlie is now in the back seat, like, duh. What? And Molly's like, yeah, I mean, I love Sally, but she's a jealous psycho. Like, what the hell?

[A]

Yeah. No, she's not. She just bought a whole set of chickens and a coupe for a man hoping that he would love her.

[B]

She's not a jealous psycho. She's a jealous farmer.

[A]

That's right. That's right. So Sally is like, you know, he's the problem. He is. He's the problem. It's him. Charlie's like, I don't know. I'm scared. She goes, I'm just confused. I mean, the Craig that I know and the Craig I spend time with, I could not see him saying something like that. I'm like, well, you should. You should pay attention to the Craig who's on tv, because you might get a better context of the things he might say rather than one who hangs paintings with you.

[B]

Yeah. So Shep loves Bacchus in the back seat of the other car. And now we're talking about Craig and Austin again. So Whitner asks if they're going to be okay for the weekend. And Craig's like, yeah, but he's got to stop attacking me, though.

[A]

Yeah. Like, Craig, the always. Always. The.

[B]

The.

[A]

The retiring. I'm just going to say the retiring flower, the wilting flower, the wall flower, the. Whatever it is. The soft little piece of goo that can't be attacked and witness. Like, that's fair. I mean, wanting someone to stop attacking you is a reasonable position. Am I right? I try to tell that to my mom whenever she's trying to attack the man, but she doesn't listen.

[B]

It takes two to tango. That means, I think, like, yes, we know it. We know what it takes two to.

[A]

Take a lean, Shep. But he. No, we know. But he does have to spell it out for Craig.

[B]

What meaning? I think there's a world where you both say to each other, you do you. But that's all I Dr. To do. And winner's like, please do not have fireworks in front of my parents.

[A]

My parents can't see fighting anymore. They need to know that I live amongst people who Are normal. So Austin's like, well, first off, everyone, hello, everyone in my car. I'm glad that.

[B]

That.

[A]

To have you in my car so I can roast Craig.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I loved, actually. He's like, I'm gonna talk. We got two hours. This is safe Spate. I'm talking about Craig and Rodrigo.

[B]

Start roasting. Better start roasting.

[A]

Rodrigo's like, gay. AI, start roasting, bitch. That sounds like a great idea. So gay eyeball. Gay eye. He just has gay eyes.

[B]

The way he looks around with his glasses. He's like.

[A]

He's like gay Burnett.

[B]

He's like a silent movie actor. The way he moves his eyes. So Austin's like, oh, on my birthday, my jaw was like, oh, when? And this is while I was eating steak. So steak was flying everywhere. Get to the point. Get to the point, Austin.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was like, you should maybe ask me questions or ask me what's up with Audrey, you know? But he doesn't. And he just goes off like what he hears from other people. And then he projects it onto me. He projects it onto me like the way I project baked potato onto his face. It's not fair.

[A]

And really the shrimp cocktail too, and the cream spinach. And really the whole meal just projected on everyone's faces. To be honest.

[B]

The snails are made out of mushrooms. Anybody.

[A]

Did you know, I want to roast those mushrooms. Quite literally, actually. So Vanita is like, well, I just feel like it keeps recurring again and again and again and again. And Rodrigo's like, yeah, he doesn't even know Audrey's name yet. Like the other week, comma, girlfriend.

[B]

And we see a flashback to Craig watching them at the bar and going, aubry's just like, staring into the water. I didn't even catch that he called her Aubry.

[A]

I didn't either. That's so funny. Yeah, that's like Craig Conover 101. So Vanita says, I mean, not knowing his names. I love that. Yeah. I mean, how long has this back and forth been going on between the two of them? But I don't think that Austin has the balls and the friendship with Craig. And Austin's gonna be like, hey, man, so good to see you, bro. Like, act like nothing happened. I'm like, yeah, cuz that's called straight male friendship.

[B]

Yeah. Where they just.

[A]

Everyone, every. They all. All act happy and fine. And then they talk so much about each other behind each other's backs.

[B]

Austin and Craig D. No, they can't. They can't break up. They're like Brokeback Mountain Girl.

[A]

Live free or die. Am I right, girl? So then Rodrigo is like, did you, by the way, did you tell Audrey about what happened at the birthday dinner? And Austin goes, yeah, I talked to Audrey, and, long story, wet from my saliva. I told her we're done.

[B]

Whoa. Why do you have windshield wipers on the inside of your car? I don't know. They just keep going on.

[A]

Very sensitive. They can feel moisture on both sides of glass. Live for your wipe.

[B]

New after a thing. Oh, this is the first time I think I've initiated a breakup with someone that I really love. Like, it's just so heartbreaking. Normally, I just cheat or do something so they have to break up with me, but, God, she really wouldn't go. God, that was a real clinger, this one. Geez, she was hanging on by her eyebrows right to the very end. It was sad. And, you know, she didn't do anything wrong, unfortunately. So now I look like a real dick.

[A]

So now a Whitner's car arrives at Itchy Grass Farm, which is good, because we have the residents of Itchy Crotch City arriving. And Whitner is like, like, welcome, everyone, to Itchy Grass. And we see. I mean, it's gorgeous. There's geese, there's canoes. It's like. It's like a very scary sleepaway camp. This is. I've never seen Friday the 13th because I'm afraid of horror movies, but I assume this is what Camp Crystal Lake looks like. Maybe you can confirm for me the.

[B]

Palms are pretty small. I don't know, they just look like big mosquito traps to me. And Whitner's like, growing up here was idyllic. No rules, no neighbors. You're out there building forts, getting dirty, raking shit, robbing stores, murdering people. So Craig's like, so. Wait, who's. What'd you say?

[A]

Anarchy. You're doing it, baby. You're doing it. Yeah.

[B]

He's like, yeah. Yeah. It was real empowering. I was a feral kid most of my youth, you know? And that's why I wake up every day at five in the morning, go running, do my taxes, repaint the house, et cetera. And Shep's like, what does itchy grass mean? It's like, well, when we were. And while I was a little kid and we moved out here, the grass was tall. Me and my sisters. My sisters were complaining. They said, we don't like it. The grass is really itchy. I got an itchy ass. So my dad said, you know what we're going to name this farm? Itchy ass. Then my mom, she's a real rebel. She came and she put a G and an R on the sign. So don't.

[A]

Don't mess with Mama.

[B]

Welcome to Itchy.

[A]

Later we would. Later we would find out the grass was fine. It was just. We had a massive amount of ticks on our legs that went undiagnosed for many years.

[B]

So.

[A]

Though, that's why they were so itchy. But, yeah, that's the name. Itchy grass.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, it's part. Part of the itchy grass indicates.

[B]

Yeah. So he shows them around. They've got little. Little cabins and stuff all over the place. And he's like, this is Marley's orchard. It's named after the family dog. She would run out here, he'd grab himself an apple, walk back. That fun God might have helped if we actually ever threw a ball for that dog, but we didn't. He just went for any old one that would fall off a tree, that idiot. We named this tree Idiot Tree. My mom said, we're calling it Marley. My mom is a real fucking rebel.

[A]

Real rebel. We said, marley, someday you're going to do that and you're going to. Instead of taking an apple, you're going to take a bill that's about to be signed and pull it off the.

[B]

Podium.

[A]

And it shall be the biggest rebellious move a dog has ever done. Fortunately, never happened. Looks very different from an apple. Anywho, my family unquestionably has deep roots in the south, but just because we've been here a long time doesn't mean we're very traditional. Which I was like, what? I was like, I almost was wondering, what are you. What are you about to lean into here when you say that? But in fact, instead, he pivots and says, fun fact. Jimmy Buffett was my uncle, and. And my Aunt Jane married him. And one of the longest running couples in rock and roll history.

[B]

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappens commercial.

[A]

That is a fun fact. I was not expecting a Jimmy Buffett twist to the story.

[B]

Yeah. He's like, yeah, you know, the Buffett proximity had an influence just on our opportunities. And all of a sudden, the world was just this bigger place of people who aren't from the same country club. Doctors, lawyers, you know, whatever. Let me tell you, you hang out with that guy, Weekend Uncle Jimmy, you will have a niche ass.

[A]

I like. I like how he's like, you know, before Uncle Jimmy came around, our life was just confined to the same country club. People, the doctors, the lawyers, etc, and then we met Jimmy Buffett, and we met a whole bunch of other white people. Our world really opened up after that.

[B]

But these ones had boats, and that's what's important.

[A]

We went from white people on farms to white people on boats.

[B]

Y' all rock. So they check it out. And he says hi to his mom, and she's like, yo, dude. He's like, whoa.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Taking over this country by storm.

[A]

So the dog is excited and running around and everything. And there's like, hugs etc. And they have this beautiful kitchen. I mean, this parents seem so nice. And everyone meets them. And she's like, wow, you guys are so tall. She's like, gosh, I'm six four, you know? And Austin, one inch taller and much wetter. Make sure you bring your poncho.

[B]

And then back in the car, Austin's like, I don't want to talk about it up here. Okay? I don't want to make the topic a point of the evening. I don't want Craig to be like, I was right. You're. You're not with Audrey anymore, you know, blah, blah, blah. So please don't talk about it. Rodrigo's like, well, if it does get brought up, you know, you're going to have Shep and Craig front and center being like, I told you so. So I will be telling them.

[A]

I know. Also, how awful would that be that, like, you break up with your girlfriend and your best buddies are gonna be like, told you so? Like, talk about a toxic relationship. I think if anything, Austin comes in loud and proud, and that way it shuts Craig up, because Craig will be like, you don't even like her. It's like, well, guess what? I dumped her. But you don't even like her. But I dumped her. It's over. But. But you're not. You don't like. You don't. You don't even like her girl friend. Like, if you were together with her, then you also wouldn't like her, you know, like, he would have nothing else to say. Shut him right up.

[B]

So Sally calls, and they're talking about what's going on in each other's cars. And she's like, we're just talking about Craig in our car. And Rodriguez says about as how much you love him. She's like, well, I was filling Charlie in on things that I've heard that Craig has been saying, and she needed to know, like, details. And she's like, well, I heard Craig's been going around basically saying, Charlie's gonna Fall for him. And she does. He doesn't want to lead her on, which makes this guy so special, you know, to where, you know, he thinks that Charlie could possibly break his heart. I mean, could you imagine? Charlie's like, I mean, no one's expecting to fall in love. I mean, I'm like, I'm totally fine here. I just nailed a painting into someone's wall. It doesn't mean I'm in love with them. Sorry. He's been in his house a couple times.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just alone and. And decent. That's it. And Austin's like, well, I'll be alone with you, Charlie. And Sally's like, wait, but, Austin, you have a girlfriend? Yeah, we gotta talk about that. Wait, no, I don't want to talk about this at all. Just kidding. And then they're like, what? What? Huh? And then, like, wait, wait, what? And then Rodrigo's like, we're about to go through a tunnel, girlfriends. And so they hang up with them because it gets awkward. And then Sally's like, wait a second. Are Austin and Audrey broken up? Guys, what did you take from that conversation? And Sally's like. I mean, Charlie's like, well, he said that we'll have to talk about it. I mean, look at Sally. She's giddy. Sally's giddy for this part. Whoa. Look how giddy she is. And she is.

[B]

Yeah. Sally's all excited. She's like, okay, he's available. Ding, ding, ding. So back in the other car, Rodrigo's like, just don't go rush out and get a hand job from Sally, okay?

[A]

Not gonna get a hand job from Sally. Be a blowjob, you idiot. So we arrive. They arrive at the farm and everything, and Beth is in the. In the pantry. She's, like, throwing around. She's throwing burger buns across the kitchen. Kind of wacky. Wacky mom that you see in one of those movies. Like, hey, catch. Here are the burger buns. It's like a sunny D commercial. And then. And then Craig is like, where am I going? Which is probably something he asks many times a day.

[B]

So they arrive and they're like, oh. Sally goes, oh, my God. Itchy grass. I want some itchy in my ass. Who says that? Sally.

[A]

No, literally. I don't think that's a sensation. Anyone?

[B]

Yeah, what does that even. Is that sex? Is that a sexual thing? I want some itchy in my ass. So Wetner. Wetner. Whitner and Beth gre. That's what we'd call him. If you talk like Austin Whitner. He's like, okay, what's up, girls? Welcome to Itchy Grass Mama. Meet the girls. Y' all are actually here. Put your bras in this bin. We're all going to burn them. It's my mama.

[A]

My mama, she's a rebel. So they all go in everything. He's like, well, this is where I actually grew up. You guys want to see your rooms? Okay, so ladies are right. This one's here. And sister. One sister to live here. And you're going to be in the room with the giant face of Jimmy Buffett. Okay. I hope you like parrots. Okay.

[B]

So they start checking out their houses. Vanita has brought some gifts for the mom. And then Austin's like, well, thank you for having a lovely home. Do they. Lovely. She's just like wiping her face. Uh huh. Okay, I'm just going to walk around with a hamburger bun in front of my face. I'm not throwing this one. Hey, just in case this man talks to me anymore.

[A]

Hey, hon, Any chance we can rename this farm Soggy Grass? Okay, thank you.

[B]

So Charlie comes to say hi to Craig and he's wet. And she's like, why are you just sweating? And he's like, they put me on grill duty, so I'm gonna be grilling stuff. And so now we meet the dad and they're grilling some stuff.

[A]

Hey, are you making. Are you making a cheeseburger in paradise? This is what need to say that that was a Jimmy Buffett reference. Mother, can. Can we do Jimmy Buffett on Bag Pops? If not, I really don't care.

[B]

Ally. Ally. Austin sees Sally and Sally's like, oh my God. Hi, Austin. He's like, why are you looking at me like that? Why are you hugging me like that? It's like I always look at you like that. Like, looked at me really tentatively. Not really sure what I mean by that, but I've heard Shep say it, although he pronounced it tentavily, so I'm not really sure.

[A]

But tentatively. I don't know. I don't care which way I say it because we know what I always say. Live free or die, right?

[B]

But man, Sally gets. She sees her opportunity and she's immediately like, how?

[A]

Stan, I know right away, like, what.

[B]

Is wrong with you?

[A]

But she. Well, though they. They did set it up that earlier in the season when she told Audrey basically like, I love Austin. If he weren't, I would just jump his bones.

[B]

I know, but my God, talk about jumping in somebody's grave. Smell like, give It a minute. He hasn't even told you yet. Really? So Madison comes over, and she's left alone with the mom. And so the mom greets her, and she's like, oh, hi. Hello there. And she's like, wow, you're pregnant. Well, okay. Yeah, I sure am. Okay, then you've got buns in the oven. I got buns in the air. Cats. Okay, well, you can't catch. Okay, we got a pregnant one who can't catch buns out here. All right. Might be shipping you home soon, honey. Go. Go out there. Go out there.

[A]

Sorry, toots. Catching the buns is a bit of an itchy farm. Itchy grass farms tradition. So you could try it again. We'll give you another shot. Okay, try it again. All right, well, we'll put you in a remote cabin near the alligators. Enjoy.

[B]

Well, I see you're pregnant. I'm glad you're carrying a gift for the patriarchy. Go ahead and go outside and have a hamburger, toots.

[A]

Okay, so they. Those. By the way, I want to point out that there's so much arriving and barbecuing in, like, the middle section of this episode. It's really, like, 10 minutes of watching burgers get flipped and people jumping in pools and people milling about doing absolutely nothing. Like, I really cannot underscore this enough. It's. It's a lot of filler, which has me believing that next episode's gonna be a really good one, because sometimes before on Bravo, before a really good episode, they like to time it so that way that they. They don't want, like, half of the good stuff on this side and half on that side. So they'll give, like, a teaser and then go forward. So I feel like they're just sort of, like, treading water. Just that way they can time to have a really good episode. That is what my fingers are crossed for.

[B]

Yeah. So Venita is trying to get gossip, or. Well, Sally's trying to get gossip from Venita on, like, whether Austin's broken up or not. And she's like, well, I'm not going to. I'm not going to be the one to tell. I've already been in trou for telling secrets, mostly about vaginas. So I'm not going to tell the secret of that giant wussy. Okay, so. And Sally's like, well, we were close in the beginning of the summer, and I just love you so much. I just miss our friendship, you know? But there were just some things, you know, when you said that whole thing About Craig. And Vanita's like, listen, there's big misunderstandings here. It's not you I'm fighting. The only person that I don't like, that I hate, and I can't stand their guts, and I'll be fake to their face is Craig. Okay? It's Craig. And Craig's doing this thing where he's like. He got into the pool, and he went all the way to the infinity thing, and he just puts his arms up, and he's just, like, squint looking at everybody.

[A]

Yeah. But he also thought that, like, Craig is, like, super famous and charismatic, that, like, everyone would join him in the pool, and then he could have, like, a sharks and minnows moment. Like a, you know, some sort of, like, nostalgic. Like, remember when we were, like, boys and girls and we were like, do sharks and minnows and, like, we should do that in this pool. But, like, no one gets in the pool with him, and he's, like, really upset. Like, guys, come in the pool. Come in the pool. Charlie, you want to prove you can swim? You want. She's like, I can't. I can't. I'll actually drown. I'll drown, but I'll. I'll dive in if Sally wants me to. I'll do it, Sally. Just for you. Okay, I'll drown. I'll drown for you. But come into the pool. Everyone come into the pool. But now Sally has seen Craig for who he is, which is a guy that she hates unless he would actually express interest in her again.

[B]

He's a deadbeat dad to chickens. So Madison's like, I made it. I'm here. And so they all say hi to her now, and then we meet, you know, I don't know. Everybody's just talking about Sally. Sally's really the big thing here because they're all kind of sitting, putting their feet in the pool. And Sally's like, wow, look at Austin. He's sure looking sexy as. Too soon. Too soon. It's like, I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I mean, he's. He's still dating Audrey. He's like, no. He called me yesterday and said, I'm not telling the soul. And I said, okay, well, I am sorry. There you go, everybody.

[A]

Yeah, because it turns out that when Austin had called Madison, you know, when. After he had held Piper for emotional support, amongst the other things he talked to her about was the fact that he and Audrey have broken up. And. And so Sally's like, well, I kind of feel Like a. For being happy. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're just a.

[B]

Because that's just who you are.

[A]

It's okay. Like, I know, I know. Hold on.

[B]

I gotta be. I'm pee right here in the pool. And so he pees in the pool.

[A]

In the pool. Who does that? In someone else? Like, like, I don't know, like the ocean I get. But like a pool and at someone else's, like their parents house. I don't know. Yeah, it was also like a narrow pool. So it just sort of felt like everyone would be like touching his pee in the pool, you know, it wasn't like a big open public pool. Like a big vast pool. It was just like narrow.

[B]

And I just shouldn't be peeing in those either.

[A]

You shouldn't. No, I agree. I'm just saying.

[B]

Making rules. So Ben can still pee in pools.

[A]

I never can.

[B]

Seals, mister. We gotta wear seat belts in the back seat. But we can just piss in that. Piss on everybody else around us.

[A]

All I'm saying is that peeing in that narrow strip, it just was more visceral. It was like you just felt like the pee was circulating around, like touching everything all at once.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. But of course, Austin's like. And also, by the way, keep in mind that Austin is now going to emerge from that. That literal cesspool with urine on his legs. You know, they were the first things to touch commercials. Here comes one right now.

[B]

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Like when the watch party at your place finally makes it out of the.

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[A]

That way hosting feels easy and looks.

[B]

Like you had a plan all along. Get the Instacart app today and get game day deals. So now Craig is talking to Charlie and he's like, oh, is your alls right? She's like, well, I mean, we talked about you a little bit. I mean, Sally said that she heard something that you said about me and his draw drops. He's like, oh, God, what did I say? And she's like. He goes, well, but she's jealous. You know that, right? Because I didn't say whatever she said I said. She goes, okay, well, I understand because I hate when people get involved in my life because now it's gonna be a thing, you know, I mean, I regret. Oh, God, this sucks. Well, you know, I'm sorry brought it up, because it's like, it's just such a nothing. I mean, you don't have to get all worked up. He's like, no, but like, I'm ultra sensitive when people get involved in my life.

[A]

Cut to Craig yelling at Austin, you don't even like your girlfriend. Why are you like your girlfriend? Because you go out with other people. You don't like girlfriends. You're like, you can't even be a person in a relationship, and you've made.

[B]

Nothing of your life and your everything you do is a failure. It's like, I hate when people judge me. This really sucks. But once again, it's an another example of Craig saying something and then denying it. Just like he did when he said, yeah, Sally's a tornado. After Sally said that she liked him, you know, he went off on her and then denied saying all of that.

[A]

And then how about. How about this manipulation when he says, every single week someone has something to say, and I just get protective about you. Oh, please. You get protective. We saw what you said at the guy's dinner night. And also, even if you hadn't said that, since when are you protective? Like, that is the biggest crock of that is such manipulation. I mean, the. This. My eyes just rolled, like, left to right. I mean, just like a perfect, beautiful arc right in that moment.

[B]

Yeah. So Charlie's like, yeah, I want to believe that Sally's trying to be my friend, but. Yeah, I'm not really sure about Sally, man. He's like, well, you know that we have a great relationship, and I know we have a great relationship, and, like, I hope we have a chance, cuz you know how I feel about you.

[A]

Which is that I think you're really hot, but I think you're getting too attached. And I, like, don't want, like, you to be so attached because you're kind of.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And like, I'm just trying to live my life. That's how I feel about it.

[B]

Yeah, I hope she doesn't get the wrong impression, Craig. Yeah, I hope she doesn't get the wrong impression when I say things like, you know how I feel about you.

[A]

Wink.

[B]

So then Whitner is like, okay, let's go to our cabin. So he drives them around and puts them in the cabin, and Madison's like this, like a horror movie. It was scary. And Craig is. Craig goes up to talk to Sally and he's like, sally, you need to tell Charlie. I didn't say this. She goes well, came straight from chef's mouth then, so I know it's true. He even. He even said you were a Ted Tate, whatever that is. You got a problem with it, you talk to him.

[A]

That's not true. I haven't said anything about Charlie to anyone. Well, I'm hearing it straight from that. From your best guy friend. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. I'm not gonna get sucked into stuff. Sally crazy face, psycho jealousy person. And she's like, no one's trying to suck you into anything. But on the subject of sucking. No, no, stop. You hear stuff that blatantly doesn't sound like me. Why don't I get the benefit of the doubt? Oh, Craig. The. The biggest benefit of the doubt giver.

[B]

And it does sound like you. It does sound like you. And he's like, but it doesn't matter to me. I told you it's not true. And I answer to myself, okay, and not going to be close anymore because I can't trust you. And she goes, oh, whatever. And he's like, I'm telling you, I didn't say it. And I can't stop Shep from making up about me. Okay, so now every guy on the show is making up stuff about you that you never said. So he's like, yeah, you know, he's blaming Sally. He's like, sally obviously is psycho, and she's in love with me. And.

[A]

But the way he also always loves to, like, withhold his. His friendship from people. Well, now we're not going to be as close, because you were mean to me, so now I hate you. You. You know, that's, like, his classic move, because I think that he really sees himself as a superstar asset.

[B]

I.

[A]

And, like. And honestly, Craig has become a major star of the show. You know, like, he used to be much more supporting, and now he really is a lead. He's super handsome. He is successful. Whether it's because of his own doings or Jerry's, it doesn't matter. He is, like. He is, like, on paper, as they would say, Long Long island on love Island. You know, on paper, he's my type. He looks great on paper, but he's also believing his own. So when he's like, well, we're not gonna be as close. Like, you don't get to be around me. You get to miss out. You don't get to come to my pool parties where there's a sun shelf in the pool and a margarita machine that kind of makes it kind of slushy. You don't get to be part of that anymore. As if anyone cares.

[B]

It's like, well, good luck finding a hot tub. Maybe next time you could have called me, huh?

[A]

It's not worth me saying what I said again because it was a terrible pun, and I'm embarrassed that I even put it on the podcast, so just please keep on talking. I said something about my burrito, Bill. Go on.

[B]

Well, maybe next time you could have just called me instead of going to her and spreading all these. She's like, she's my best friend. Oh, okay. It's like, okay, Sally, do whatever you want. I mean, Sally is ridiculous as well. But he's like, okay, you're getting overwhelmed now. It's like a woman getting angry. Put her in a hospital. She's like, I am overwhelmed because you're all mad children, and I can't take it. So she walks off. And then now Whitner goes to see Shep, and he's showing him his house. And Shep's like, you don't have to give me a tour. I go to Cuba. You just leave me here alone. I'll figure it out.

[A]

Yeah, it's gonna be easy for me. I'm just easygoing shepherd right now. So then Molly almost walks into a tree branch, and she's like, I almost ate. Sally's like, yeah, well, Craig was really making me believe that he didn't say that. Like, sorry, I know he said that about you. And, like, it lights a fire in me because, like, I know you, and I know you're better than him, Charlie. And Charlie's like, yeah, am I better than him? I don't know. And that branch was scary. I don't know what to do.

[B]

Yeah, but also, Sally, back off. Like, let her. Let. You've already said the thing. Just let her deal with it. Okay. You didn't like this when this was being done to you two weeks ago.

[A]

Yeah. And Sally's being ten times more extra about it than it ever was to her.

[B]

I'd like to also point out, yeah, Sally's ridiculous, so. But she's funny, so I don't really care as much. And Craig passes, and he's like, go ahead. Keep talking about me. It's fine. She's like, we're not even talking about you. Not everything's about you. Oh, whatever. I'm just like, you stupid Craig. Yeah, so anyway, like I was saying, Craig said, and you're better.

[A]

Whitner takes Austin and Rodrigo to their cabin. And I was like, wow, look at our cute little doc. There, bro. It's amazing. Yeah, well, welcome to the dove cottage where you can get drunk and right, huh? Uncle Jimmy, that was for you. So then Rodrigo's like, yeah, air conditioning girlfriend. Yes, sir. Reese. They basically just get settled in to their cabin, etc.

[B]

Craig goes to see his glamping 10, which is really nice, actually. And then now we go back to Austin and Rodrigo, and they're getting ready, and Austin's like, dude, what the. I have a pimple on my face. I haven't had a pimple on my face, like, 14 years, bro. It's Craig. This is Craig Pimple.

[A]

He literally got so angry in that moment. Like, when he saw that pimple on his face, he literally looked like he'd seen a. A. A note that was taped on the mirror that said, I hate you, too, signed Craig. And he was like, what? What? I was like, oh, my God. What happened? He's like, got a pimple. Got a pimple for the first time in, like, 14 years. Insane, right now. It's pimple.

[B]

So Rodrigo puts a cowboy hat on him, and he's like, just pull it down further. No, further. No further. No further. He covers his whole face. He's like, okay, I can't see it now. So then they walk outside, and they're looking at the pond, and Austin's like, whoa, Rod. Welcome to Brokeback. Brokeback pond, bro. So what's even sadder about Rodrigo is he didn't even make. Because when he said brokeback mountain, I was like, that's such a straight guy joke. He stole the straight guy joke to use this in his confessional. That's so sad.

[A]

I know. I know, right? So they're just sitting, talking, and. And Austin's like, yes. It's tough not to think about Audrey right now. You know what I'm thinking? God, this is so much fun without Audrey, huh? Hard not to think about that.

[B]

And Rodrigo's proud of him. He's like, yeah, I wanted it to work out with them, you know, because I, like, I loved Audrey, but, you know, like, I didn't want him to string her along forever, you know? So he's like, well, I've just been thinking about her. Just been thinking about her. God, do you remember what she looks like? I forgot she had eyes. I remember that she saw things. She's blonde, right? She blonde.

[A]

Blonde. There's a plant that was trying to eat her. So then we go to Sally and Molly and Charlie's cabin, and Sally's like. She's like, so, how are we feeling? About this. Buns look good, but it's nice, right? Okay, well, that's glad we America saw this scene. And then we go over to Shep's loft, and Craig comes over, and Shep's.

[B]

Like, ho, ho, ho. What a bottle of rum.

[A]

I'm reading a cowboy book. Which is funny because I just had a pirate thing. Cowboys and pirates. What's your favorite quick Craig answer? It's like, um, I just took an outdoor shower. Oh, are you enjoying the property? Yeah, it's escapism. I'm really into this escapism. I was like, this is not escapism. You're on a vacation. You're literally. You've escaped. Escapism is when you read a book and wish you were on vacation. You're literally on the vacation.

[B]

But, like, sitting in a pool and then looking out and being like, wow, I'm in water. Like, when you're with the right person, you can do this all the time. But, like, I just wanted to talk to you really quick because even though I don't think it's a big deal, Sally made it seem like a big deal. She was like. And then we cut to earlier, and this is the part I was talking about where we don't see what Craig is actually telling Shep. So we cut to earlier what actually happened with Craig confronting Sally. And we. Shep is just looking at him and goes, wait a minute. I did not say, oh, she's in love with Craig. Which is not what Sally said. That she said, see, is a big game of telephone. And why aren't they showing us proof?

[A]

Thank you. Exactly. So Shep is like, well, I did not say she's in love with Craig. I never said that. You know, nobody thinks that. No one does. And Craig's like, well, now I'm like, I'm trying to work on myself, right? And like, like hearing a misrepresentation of myself, it just will trigger. And I'm like, I don't want to do this with this stuff, cuz look at me. Look at how I'm working on myself. Like, how last year I wasn't drinking, but this year I'm drinking and I'm like, But telling people, like, getting mad at Austin because I'm an addict, but then also, like, still drinking. So, like, it's like, I'm really working on myself really hard right now.

[B]

Listen, I. I'm changed. I say things like triggered now. And Chef's like, but I mean, everyone knows you. I mean, you're not some big badass swinging dick Everyone knows you're a was. I mean, you wouldn't say that about a girl. He's like, wow, thank you. I appreciate that. He's like, yeah. I mean, this is on the record. We know who you are. Craig. He's not nefarious. I mean, Craig's not. You know, we. He's not like that. We all know that. He's a wuss.

[A]

He's not only not nefarious, he's also not nefarious, which is how I actually said it for some reason. So Shep is like, there's nobody more respectful to females than Craig Conover.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I was working on my stand up routine. That was just a joke.

[B]

Leave it up to Shep to be like females. He thinks white doves are gonna fly out of the tree like in Cinderella. She had doves, right? I don't know. Was she the one who spilled rice on the floor? God, I would never marry someone like that. Now, listen, someone trying to twist that around is so. Don't let it trigger you, Craig. Don't let it trigger you. No, I appreciate you. I'm glad I came and talked before I got triggered.

[A]

Well, I guess you'll just have to be careful what you say around Sally because women are crazy and hysterical or.

[B]

Prone to histrionics or be careful what they say to you because you are the one who told Sally that, and you know it. Now it's being misconstrued because he did. You didn't. No one said in love, but you're acting like you've never heard this and you have no idea where this would come from. Instead of being like, no, Craig, that's not what I said. I said you were worried that you're giving her. You're leading her on and giving her the wrong idea and that you're gonna hurt her and let her down because what if she starts to like you too much or something? Which is what you did say. But chef's like, no. Crazy woman alert.

[A]

Yeah. And so we cut back briefly to the. The Sally Molly Charlie cabin, and they're just still getting ready and stuff and talking about dresses. Sort of show that they have. They're just having a nice time. Have no idea that the guys are saying these things about them. And we come back, and Chop is like, I mean, I like her. She's fun, but she can be really crazy, cuckoo, you know? Emotional woman, has no rationality or reasonability.

[B]

Yeah, well, it seems like she's just a gossip now. God, I wonder if Austin's gonna Leave that stupid girl that he doesn't like with his no win life.

[A]

Craig talking about how Sally is just a gossip while he's in here actively gossiping with Shep while the women are literally not even gossiping at all. He's like, wow, that's what women do. They just gossip. Women be gossiping, right? She's an agent of chaos. Yeah, she's an chaos agent. Yeah.

[B]

Someone might even say a tornado or NATO tornado.

[A]

So that's the cliffhanger. So, yeah, it's good to see the show's just still doing the things the show does. The guys somehow just gaslighting into their echo chamber, and the women still somehow just can't help but only focus on these idiots.

[B]

Yep. Oh, Southern charm never change. And I don't worry that you ever will.

[A]

God bless you.

[B]

All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. Don't forget to go vote for the golden crappies. You can find links for tickets, live streaming tickets, all that good stuff over at watch what crappens.com and we'll talk to you next time.

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