#3245 Vanderpump Rules S12E13: Goat Cheese Brawl

Summary

Watch What Crappens #3245: Vanderpump Rules S12E13 – "Goat Cheese Brawl"

Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Release Date: March 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Ben and Ronnie dive into the Season 12 Reunion of Vanderpump Rules, breaking down the cast’s first big public appearance post-finale, the drama-laden reunion at SUR, and all the Gen Z messiness, friendship fractures, and hook-up chaos the latest generation brings to the iconic Bravo series. As always, the hosts blend affectionate roasting with insight, highlighting Bravo’s new faces trying to balance relationships, fame, and, as Ben puts it, “dreams of making it in LA—right next to the goat cheese balls.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The New Era: Reunion Showdown

• The First Reunion for the New Cast

  • The hosts note the surprise that this "Valley" spin-off (with most of the OG cast gone) got a two-part reunion at all, citing Vanderpump Rules’ exponential ratings growth and strong new personalities.
  • Ronnie (06:51): “[This is] when you truly get pissed…you see what everybody said behind your back, and that's when you start to unravel, and you've seen how the audience is reacting to you.”

• Reunion Atmosphere at SUR

  • The cast sits in front of the actual SUR bar (not a set), amping up the authenticity.
  • Ben recounts backstage antics at The Crappies live show, noting how the VPR cast brought high energy and partied amongst themselves.

• Lisa Vanderpump Banter

  • Lisa is in classic form—self-aware, snarky, and flawless.
  • Lisa (15:24): “You, too, darling. If reverse was forward times two…This lot, I feel I’ve aged a lot more than 13 years with this lot.”

2. Cast Personalities: Standouts, Rivalries, and Audience Faves

• Fan Reactions

  • Venus and Shane get the loudest audience cheers, illustrating early favorite status among the new cast (09:56).

• Highlighting Venus’ Sexual Humor

  • Venus turns most questions into comic sexual confessions.
  • Venus (16:13): “What are you manifesting for today? Sex. Just lots of sex. I'm so horny, Andy.”

• Natalie’s Slapstick Relatability

  • Natalie becomes the butt of jokes after falling down stairs, attributing clumsiness to growing up in a single-story home (04:34, 25:29).
  • Natalie (25:29): “I'm from a single story home so I just don't get staircases.”

3. Relationship Drama: Who’s Real, Who’s Fake?

• Chris & Audrey:

  • Touted as the “healthiest couple,” but splinter under the reunion spotlight.
  • Chris admits he’s been on other dating shows for fame, not love (34:05), raising red flags for Audrey and others.
  • Chris (34:05): “It's so easy. You just tell people what they need to hear just to get in their good graces, then the rest is easy.”
  • Audrey (40:12): “It was completely unfair…100% so selfish.”
  • The hosts suspect both were more interested in a “showmance” than an actual relationship.
  • Ronnie (44:14): “She was being as fake as he was…I didn’t get any sense she actually really liked him.”

• Kim & Marcus:

  • The infamous on-again/off-again couple.
  • Their constant drama, coupled with Marcus’s insensitivity, rubs Venus and the group the wrong way.
  • Kim (47:10): “I was in survival mode…kind of holding him up when he lost his mom.”
  • Venus (49:02): “Marcus is like a 35 year old frat boy and Kim’s like an office executive…what is she even doing?”

• Venus & Marcus – The Emotional Heart

  • A key emotional moment occurs with Marcus and Venus, who hash out their fraught friendship and the way their romantic/platonic lines have blurred. Both get teary.
  • Ben (08:27): “[Marcus] does that thing where… instead of just blinking, he's like [really squints]. Marcus crying is my favorite.”
  • Marcus apologizes for including Venus in relationship drama; Venus reveals past trauma and why he’s sensitive to toxic relationships (54:38–55:16).

• Natalie’s “Just Friends” Saga

  • Natalie’s flirtations lead to mixed signals with Jason and Shane, causing confusion around what is and isn’t a “date” (59:42–60:23).
  • Natalie (59:42): “Why does everybody think I'm on a date with them?”
  • Jason (60:23): “My actions are my eyebrows. And no one's ever walked away from these before.”

• Angelica’s Messy Entrance & “Homie Hopper” Debate

  • Angelica’s introduction to the group is called out for jumping from guy to guy (“homie hopping”) and stirs drama for admitting she used the guys as distraction after a breakup.
  • The group collectively groans at repeated social media fights—with Angelica’s bruises, accusations of the show being boring, and the infamous “homie hopper” label.
  • Audrey (67:09): “To homie hop…don’t hold me walk. Like, sue me. I wasn’t slut-shaming you.”

4. Social Media Fallout & Gen Z Perspective

• Audrey Addresses Social Media Backlash

  • Audrey claims she’s been “brutalized” online since recent episodes aired, including getting death threats (69:07).
  • The hosts dissect how the cast is coping with public perception, noting how aware (and sensitive) they are to internet reception—very Gen Z.

• Group Dynamics: Girls’ Girl vs. Girls’ Girl

  • Old-school “girl code” conflicts with modern friendship boundaries and public-facing honesty.
  • Multiple cast members challenge Audrey’s “girls’ girl” credentials, repeatedly referencing press interviews and podcast appearances where she talked shit.
  • Ben (29:40): "Don’t accuse me of not being a girls’ girl. I’m a total girls’ girl."
  • Kim (28:30): "Don’t challenge me when I’m setting boundaries as a friend—whatever."

5. Notable Quotes & Funny Moments

• Ben (04:34): “Now, let’s rip them apart.”
• Ronnie, about Venus (15:14): “Venus got a huge amount of applause from the audience. The audience loved Venus.”
• **Andy/Lisa banter (15:24):
  • Andy: “Lisa, you are aging in reverse.”
  • Lisa: “If reverse was forward times two…this lot, I feel I’ve aged a lot more than 13 years with this lot.”
• Venus (16:13): “Sex. Just lots of sex. I’m so horny, Andy.”
• Natalie (25:29): “I’m from a single-story home so I just don’t get staircases.”
• Chris on Reality TV Origins (34:05): “It’s so easy. You just tell people what they need to hear just to get in their good graces, then the rest is easy.”
• Angelica (64:47): “…it’s just easier to have sex before you go to work.”
• Hosts - on Andy’s interviewing style:
  • Ronnie (29:08): “Let me lean forward in my stool to emphasize this.”
• Angelica (67:01): “In all fairness, I thought you guys were boring…no one explained anything to me except Demi. Even she said, it’s too complicated.”

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Description | |---------------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:51 | Ronnie on how reunions get truly juicy after the cast has seen themselves on TV| | 08:27 | Ben’s hilarious take on Marcus’ emotional breakdown | | 15:24 | Lisa Vanderpump’s agelessness and iconic banter | | 16:13 | Venus’ laugh-out-loud “I’m just horny, Andy” reunion answer | | 25:29 | Natalie explains her lifelong feud with staircases | | 29:40 | Girls’ girl argument, boundaries, and accusation tossing | | 34:05 | Chris admits to reality TV “strategy” over sincerity | | 40:12–44:14 | Chris & Audrey’s (mutually faked?) relationship analyzed by hosts | | 47:10–49:02 | Kim, Marcus, and Venus’s interlocked personal drama | | 54:38–55:16 | Venus’ trauma reveal and the group’s empathetic response | | 59:42–60:23 | Natalie & Jason’s "are we just friends?" confusion | | 64:47–65:21 | Angelica admits to still sleeping with her ex for convenience | | 67:01–68:09 | Angelica says she called cast “boring” because no one explained the drama | | 69:07 | Audrey talks about social media “brutalization” since the last two episodes |

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Memorable Moments

• Lisa Vandepump’s real-life ‘Facetune’ face, as recounted by Ben (15:14–15:24), and the hilarious group effort to define "homie hopper" for Lisa and viewers (67:58).
• The recurring joke about Natalie’s relationship with stairs—“from a single story home!”—becoming its own Bravo meme in real time (25:29, 59:42).
• Venus and Marcus’s mutual, macho, weepy apology, with the hosts both laughing at and respecting the emotional overflow (54:38–55:16).
• Audrey claiming death threats, with Ronnie dryly observing: “They were better than you!” (69:07).

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Tone and Original Language

True to the show’s spirit, Ben and Ronnie balancing loving mocking, sharp wit, and surprisingly poignant analysis—ping-ponging between affectionate ridicule (“now let’s rip them to shreds”) and genuine warmth for this motley crew of new VPR hopefuls.

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Summary

This Watch What Crappens episode perfectly captures the energy and hysteria of Vanderpump Rules’ Gen Z reboot, with Ben and Ronnie turning every friendship spat, hookup, and heartbreak into a high-comedy dissection. The cast threads a needle between seeking love/friendship and chasing clout/fame—never quite sure where performance ends and sincerity begins, and Ben and Ronnie are happy to call out every stumble along the way. Whether you’re a Bravo obsessive or just tuning in, this recap has all the SUR-style drama you could want—now with bonus stair-related physical comedy.

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Listen to the episode for all the side-splitting impressions and extra tea!

Transcript

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[B]

Happens. There's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch what Crappin, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about. I'm Ben Maner and joining me today is someone who I just adore. We went through war together the first two months this year and now we've emerged. It's Ronnie Caram. How are you?

[A]

Well, hello Ben.

[B]

Hello there. The war, of course, was planning for the crappies. We've mentioned it a lot, but in case some people just may not realize that if you miss the crappies, you can actually watch it on Kiswee kids. We.crapeppies.kiswee.com just or just go to our website. Watch what crappens.com and there's a replay that's going to be available through the 13th of March. So watch it. There's all sorts of great stuff. We had an amazing, amazing time doing doing the show. Also, by the way, we have a crossover episode on our Feed Today with Rob has a podcast where we talked about the traders and Survivor 50. That was a tremendous time. So go check that out. And guess what? He's not going to be the only one from the Traders we're going to talk to this week. It's just. So just stay tuned. Okay, everyone, Today we are talking Vanderpump Rules. Oh, and I should also mention we are going to have a bonus newsletter this week. Normally, we only have one, but this week we're doing a whole Crappies newsletter where we're going to talk about. We're both going to talk about our experience with the Trap Crappies. The Trappies with the Crappies. And, you know, it was like preparing and what the show was like, et cetera. So keep an eye out for that. That'll be out later this week or maybe today, who knows when. But in the meantime, today we're talking Vanderpump Rules. Really excited to talk about this one. And I do want to highlight that. These kids, they are so funny. Like, we wound up having, like, the entire cast, almost the entire cast of the show come to the Crappies. It wasn't even meant to be that way. We had. So we had Chris and Jason, and they were like our. Our Little Miss Crappies. That's what we had last year, the person to bring people on and off and to carry the awards out, et cetera. So. So we're like, wouldn't it be fun if we have Chris and Jason, the eyebrow twins? So they were. They were serving that role on the show. And then we had Marcus and Shane as guests, but then they all invited people from the cast. So then all of a sudden we had this, like, giant contingent from Vanderpump Rules. And it was so fun. They all came out on stage. They all lined up at the front of the stage, and I swear, they were having the best time. They were. They were having their own party like that. It was like we were. We were at the Vanderpump Rule show. Those kids, they were partying their asses off. They were like. It was like, I think this, like, I'm not sure if this is true or not. I felt like this is like their first big public thing that they've done as a cast since the show came out. Did you get that sense, Ronnie?

[A]

Well, I'm sure they've done other stuff, but, man, they'll show up and party. That's for sure. They did. They were great.

[B]

They were so nice. I have to say, it makes me feel bad to make fun of them. And I will continue to do that. And, you know, Chris and Jason arrived, you know, because they actually had a role in the show. They arrived so promptly, like, so on time. They're like, hey, we're here. Well, how can we help? I mean, they were, like, professionals, and everyone was so lovely. Kim was so nice. Like, the feedback that I got from the people working backstage was that Kim was one of the nicest people the entire night. I was like, kim. But she was. She was so nice. And. And then Natalie came up to me at one point and she's like, oh, my God. When you were, like, making fun of how I fell down the stairs, that was like, so funny because you were like, hasn't she been to the other half? She's never, like, went to the other half of the house. And, like, how does she even deal with parking garages? And the truth is, I always fall down staircases. It's, like, crazy. Like, because the thing is, I was, like, raised in a single single story home, so I think I just, like, don't understand staircases. She cracked me up. So definitely, like, yeah, really, really fun.

[A]

Nice group of people. They were all really sweet. Had a great time.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Now let's rip them apart.

[A]

Yes. Now let's rip. Let's. Let's rip them to shreds. Okay, so their first reunion. A lot of people are pretty surprised that this got a reunion because the Valley did not. The Valley. They were like, okay, here's five dollars and nine episodes. That's it. Bye. Maybe Persian style.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes, Valley, Persian style. But this one, they gave a full re. A full two parter, too, which is pretty good.

[B]

Yeah, but, you know, it's Vanderpump Rules. That's such a major show for the network. I think they just felt like that, like, they. They just had to. They had to do it, and I was okay with that, you know, you.

[A]

You there.

[B]

Apparently the show has had, like, is. Is like. Like, had like, exponential growth over the course of the season. Like, it really is. Like, there were reports coming out over the past few days that, like, their ratings actually really up. Like, like, really, really increased over the season. So it's a good sign for this cast because we, you know, I won't say we. I'll say I really enjoy this. This show a lot, and I think it's actually a really good cast of just kooky young kids trying to drink and be famous.

[A]

Yeah. And now it's interesting because it's. The season has aired, obviously, and so this is the first time we've seen them since they've seen each other talking about each other. And this is when every reality starts to get good, because that's when you truly get pissed, and you see what everybody said behind your back, and that's when you start to unravel, and you've seen how the audience is reacting to you, and you get pissed off about that. Like, who's more popular on Twitter and who's, you know, getting more on Instagram comments and who has more Reddit threads hating them and stuff like that. And that's what we're seeing today. I mean, the biggest. The biggest one affected, obviously, is Audrey, who basically has a fit through the entire thing, and she's really going for it, you know, So I hand her that. She's. She's making some effort here, but she is trying to blame a lot of shit that was her own fault on other people, and I think she kind of failed it. She kind of. She was the only one that didn't really have a lot of grace. Everybody else was kind of giving each other grace, and I think she came off like kind of an asshole. Now, that. That said, I did appreciate that she and Venus both got that hair moisturized. Their hair on both of those kids looked great. So as your auntie, I say thank you. Thank you. That's all I needed.

[B]

Seriously. I. Yeah, I really enjoyed them. Oh, my God. There's a. There's a fly in my coffee.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I have to say, my favorite part of the reunion was the Venus and Marcus exchange when they were, like, fighting, but then they started to both cry. And Marcus crying is, like my favorite because he does that thing where he. When he blinks, he, like, squints both eyes. Because some people do that. They're like. Instead of just, like, blinking, they're like. And so, like, squinting out his tears, he's like, I didn't realize how much affected you. It was like straight guy tears. And they're both, like, crying towards each other. And I was like, this is. I know this is, like, a really sweet and lovely moment, but I am laughing out loud right now.

[A]

The whole thing was funny. Okay, so they're all on stage. And by stage, I mean in front of the actual bar, sir. And so we. Right. They were right, weren't they, really?

[B]

Yeah, they were.

[A]

Yeah, they were act.

[B]

They were actually. They were not on a set. They were just actually at sir.

[A]

Okay, so five, four, three. Here we go. Here we go, guys. Here we go. And Marcus is like, are we going to start with some Warm up vibes. You're just going to get straight to it. What's going on here, guys? And then we see sneak peeks of the upcoming reunion, which I'm not gonna go into, but the cast is watching stuff and we go to the sir patio and Venus is like, oh my God, when you raise your voice, I got a boner.

[B]

Also when you didn't raise your voice, I got a boner. I haven't had sex in eight years. I'm just getting a lot of boners left and right.

[A]

How old is Venus? He said he hasn't had sex in eight years. I mean, smudla.

[B]

Yeah, I think he's. I think he's like 25. No, he's got to be like 27 maybe. I'm not sure. By the way, Venus got a huge amount of applause by from the audience. Like the audience loved Venus. It was interesting to see which who was like the audience favorites. It was like Shane and Venus were the ones that got the biggest reception, I think on, on Friday.

[A]

Well, one lady was going crazy for Shane. I mean, everybody went crazy for Shane. But one lady was like, shane. I looked at her face because she was screaming like that, like she wanted to get him or something. I was waiting to see her hold like a little caveman cudgel thing or like bat or something to come get him. And I looked at her face and her blonde hair was like sticking out like crazily. And then she was making a real, like, she looked angry. She was like, oh my gosh.

[B]

Did I have a question? When you were doing your Keytar song, I. I shouldn't call it that because it's just like your song, but I just like to call it your guitar song because that was my favorite part. When you pull up the keytar when you were doing it, could you hear the Vanderpump Rules kids? Because they were loaded up in the wings because they were going to be coming on stage not too long afterwards. And so there were like literally like eight of them. And I was back. I was with them and they were just there and they were just like having a party and you were singing. And I had to be like, guys, guys, Ronnie's singing. I was like, the mom. I said, guys, can you keep it down a little bit? But they were just having a party there and I was like, ronnie, could you hear them back there? Were they being, do not appreciate the theater. Get some respect over here. Ronnie's doing a parody of where the Hell is My Husband? I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah, no, I Was blacked out. I would black out during that stuff. I didn't hear anything.

[B]

By the way, I also don't know how you like to this moment. Like. Like, I don't know how. I'm sorry to be navel gazy about our show, but, like, honestly, you getting through all those lyrics, I don't. I don't. I just don't know how you did it.

[A]

The teleprompter. That's how. Thank Jesus for teleprompters. I mean, the wheel was a pretty good invention, but the teleprompter, lifesaver. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank God for that thing. Okay, so then we go to Audrey's. Like, yeah, that was deep. I had to let it out. Sorry, guys. Sorry. But I'm a badass. And now we see the parking lot and trailers and stuff like that. Everybody's arriving, and Audrey needs shots to get through the day. And this is when we see her new look. She's got a Marilyn Monroe look and she's very, like, diva coming to the show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, I'm the star of this.

[B]

And then Andy's sitting with Lisa in a trailer and he's like, wow, I'm excited. Whoa. Shane Davis. Wow. And Lisa's like, oh, I love all of them right now. Right now. It's. It's pure. It's ambition. They think that they have a future. It's so delicious. I just want to inject it into my veins.

[A]

So much pain yet to be caused. So many wings to be broken. Then we cut to Chris. Chris, and he's like, I think it's going to be a slimy day, guys. I don't know what he meant by that, but the man works on only fans. How much worse could this be?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You literally work with lube all day.

[B]

You're already dealing with slimy things. Like physically, not no judgment, just like, it's lube.

[A]

Yeah, physically. Yeah. I mean, like lube. Like slime. So then we go, we see more sneak peeks. And then we cut to Angela. Andy talking to Angelica. You have a baby. Packed with Shane. And Shane's like, she would like to have my jeans.

[B]

Yeah. So anyway, after all this opening, we opening stuff, which we will obviously get to over the course of the reunion, we see the title card. And now we're here at the reunion stage. Welcome to the Vanderbilt Bruhl season 12 reunion. I'm Andy Cohen, and while the phases, sir, have changed, we also have a new staff. That was a dig at you, Lisa. Anyway, the faces have Changed. Drama, dysfunction. Dreams of making an LA are still on the menu right next to the goat cheese balls. Lisa, you're aging reverse. Can you believe it's 13 years now? I want to say something. At the after party, we were talking to some people who were at the show, and they were like, the craziest thing happened today. We saw a huge Bentley, and it had pulled up to a parking meter, and the person trying to pay the meter was all confused. So, like, one. Someone in the group went up to help the person with the parking meter, and then she came back, and then they're like, do you realize that was Lisa Vanderpump? And so they had helped Lisa Vanderpump with the parking meters. Then they went and, like, they went. They basically went back to Lisa and were like, hey, can we get a photo with you? So Lisa took a picture with them, and they're like, Ben, you won't believe it. She's, like, airbrushed in real life. And I saw the photo. Lisa's face looked a hundred percent facetune. And she. But they were like, but we took this photo. We didn't air. We didn't facetune it. And it was shocking. Like, Lisa is, like, so photogenic. She literally has filters that are, like, happening in real life. I've just never. I've literally never seen that happen in a photo before. Did they show you that picture?

[A]

No, I didn't see it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. Lisa's gonna get buffed, and she's like a bowling alley lane. She's gonna get buffed before every night, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[A]

All right, well, Lisa, you are aging in reverse. And she's like, you, too, darling. If reverse was forward times two, now you know, look. I mean, the whole thing, the hair dye. I noticed it. I feel like I've aged a lot more than 13 years with this lot. Get it?

[B]

What do you mean with this lot? You mean like, this? This parking lot? No, it's British for group. Andy, keep up. And we see some flashbacks. The very first Vanderpump rules. Reunited in 2013. It's like, wow. So then now it's time to go around the horn. Hi, Venus. What are you manifesting for today? Sex. Just lots of sex. I'm so horny, Andy. And also, I guess, surviving the drama. Okay, and, Angelica, quick question. If I need a ride to lax, can I get one? She's like, I drive you in a heartbeat, Andy.

[A]

I was really impressed that Andy didn't say, love the new bilbs. I know that's an Andy thing, but he didn't do it today and says hi to Shane. Your laugh has been quite the topic of people always commented. He's like, well, some people say I have a hot guy laugh and some people say I have a dumb guy laugh. Andy. Well, which one is it? I guess it's a hot dumb guy laugh. Andy.

[B]

All right, very good. Marcus, bring me up to speed. Are you and Kim together right now? He's like, yeah, brother, we're together. And Kim's like, yeah, I know that's a surprise to everybody, but yeah, America, sweethearts back together.

[A]

Literally nobody is surprised. Kim, you look beautiful. Marcus joked, you're the only person in the world who's 100% straight. Gross. How's that? She's like, well, he just like, doesn't understand that I'm like, not attracted to women. Women in West Hollywood that are like, kissing and having fun, that's just like, not my vibe. Mostly the having fun part. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin commercial.

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[A]

We like, yeah, we're totally fine with being gay.

[B]

So Marcus goes, yeah, I mean, she did recently, you know, admit to a girl crush on Angelica. And I was like, interesting. And he's like, okay, well, Marcus, this begs the question, what percent straight are you? Would you like to explore your gay side? Have you ever hung out with Sharice's son from Potomac? Should we all get together?

[A]

Well, Andy, I'm about two fingers up my butt right now, so I guess that would leave me at 80% straight. Not counting thumbs. I like that. Okay, Natalie, love your song. Pasta messenger. JK and I heard you grew up in the same town. And Ariana Grande. Do you know Ariana Grande? Hey, could you text her right now and tell her Andy's a dad?

[B]

Can you text her and say wicked for good? More like wicked for I'm a dad. Hey, Demi, I hear you have a new man in your life. She's like, his name is Reed. We've been together almost a year. He's the old GM from Sir. I keep it in the restaurant, I guess. God, oh, he makes me so happy. Can you see I'm just like totally glowing right now?

[A]

He's a 76 year old GM from sir. We're totally happy.

[B]

Thank you for asking.

[A]

Okay, Jason, not gonna say anything to you. Just. Hey, Jason. Jason's eyebrows are like, hi. Hello, sir. Well, I'm not sure we've ever seen Lisa demote someone in the way she devoted you. So are you the host? And these. Where are you? Tell us the truth, Jason. He's like, well, like, honestly, I want to be well rounded and like, I figure you could know you you could work the host and maybe serve, bartend, serve, jerk off. I don't know, paint signs, whatever they need.

[B]

He's like, okay, well, I don't really think that was your decision, though. And I think that this is when they show the clip of Lisa saying, can you please describe the crab cake? He's like, well, it's crab and it comes in the form of cake. And it's, like, really good. She's like, I know it comes in the form of cake. It's called a crab cake, you idiot.

[A]

So Andy's like, hey, Audrey, you look gorgeous. Old Hollywood meets skin. She's like, yeah, it's giving, like, slutty Marilyn Monroe. Okay, tell me you don't know who Marilyn Monroe is without telling me. That's the point. That's the point of Marilyn Monroe. We wouldn't call it slutty, though. We'd call it sexy.

[B]

Some like a cold. Andy's like, oh, there you go, Chris. Love that you normalize penis pumps. What? Why would you love that? You have one, Andrew. Oh, my goodness. Like, no, but I actually need a little explanation on it. And Shane helped me out the other night. I watch what happens, and then we see a flashback to Shane. They're talking about the penis bumps and how Shane's like, yeah, I don't use one because it hurts. I just use a erectile dysfunction meds. So that's just how I do it.

[A]

Yeah, this cast is pretty out of the closet with sex stuff. Yeah, like the. The men. Well, and the sex help stuff, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, here's. Here's the crutch I use. How about you? Anybody? I'll raise you a ring. Anybody? Anybody? So Chris is like, yeah, you know, I really wanted to bring it to light because everyone's so scared to talk about their sexuality. Sometimes you just got to pump it up a little bit. That's. That's my mission, you know, I want to talk about, like, guys, dicks and, like, getting bigger and harder. Thank you. Like, I started a dot org website. Thank you. Thank you for that.

[B]

I'm, like, waiting for, like, a little, like, inspirational drum. Like,

[A]

I'm not on TV for the fame. I'm here to help dude sticks. So.

[B]

Well, let's get started. Last year, Bravo announced it was rebooting Vanda Pump Rules with a new group of servers and bartenders sending shots. And Lisa, what do you say to people who compare this to the original Vanderpump rules of the past?

[A]

Oh, I understand. Of course they're going to compare. But we're talking about different people, different problems, different lives, different boobies. And those are just in one season.

[B]

Get it?

[A]

This group had very strong personal stories, so. Well, take this one, Mindy. Mindy had a rough time letting go of her horsey. My name is Audrey.

[B]

I don't care, darling.

[A]

Shut up. Here's the point. We finally got Cena out. You're welcome, America.

[B]

Natalie, the season kicked off with you returning from a week long suspension for screaming at your ex boyfriend at this very bar. So we see the footage of that again and, and Demi talking about it and Natalie's like, just for the record, that was like so not my intention. I was there with like my family and my ex was being like so kind to them that I like kind of triggered them because I was like, why are you being nice to my family? Like I don't even get it really. Does that mean that you and I are good then? Because you weren't acting like you and I are good and I was just like. Because that was like me singing my song as like revenge and then I fell down a staircase because I'm like from like a single story home. So like that just was like a lot for me at first.

[A]

From a single story home will always make me laugh until the end of time. And how'd that go? It's like, I mean, obviously not amazing. Obviously not. He's like, okay. Paolo, the ex boyfriend in question was in an accident a few months ago and thankfully he's doing much better. Like, oh my God, thank God for Paolo. Yay. Paolo's great. And they tell the story of Paolo and Natalie's like, I had dinner with Paolo, but I never heard from from him again. So I knew. So I called Demi and then sure enough, Paolo was in the icu. Interesting that you called Demi. Wow. It's basically like calling an Amazon assistant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To get a hug.

[B]

Yeah, well, Paolo's like one of my closest friends. Just like sometimes I just think back at all the fun times we've had together. I mean, look, look at me. I can't stop smiling.

[A]

Yeah, well, do you two had a relationship? Did you nod to me? It's like, well, I mean, we had a fling, but like, it was just like I was just out of a five year relationship and I wasn't ready for something serious that he wanted because, you know, every 50 year old wants to settle down with like a 25 year old. But like he started seeing this new girl, Natalie without telling me. So that was like, that was great.

[B]

But I had no idea because, like, that conversation happened on the second floor and I just didn't even know how to get up there.

[A]

Yeah, whatever. You knew what stairs were on because you had no problem with making out with him on the stairs. So whatever. Natalie. Liar. God. Natalie definitely saw us fighting, so.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, that was the night that I found out about it. Like, I only found out that there was something between you two after I'd already hooked up with him.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm gonna lose my mind. Look how heated I am right now. Oh, my God, my temperature is through the roof. I'm shaking.

[B]

Yeah, it, like, fucked up our whole friendship.

[A]

Yeah, no, because, like, Paolo is what, like, brought me and Natalie together as friends. We were like, wow, isn't it crazy how his hair growing out of his ears? It was like, nuts. But, like, now there's this whole narrative that we were, like, fighting over a guy, and that never happened. We were fighting over, like, Natalie the guy. It's totally different.

[B]

Kim, can you explain why any of this is interesting or. Actually, wait, here's a better question. Can you explain why Natalie's friendship with Marcus was triggering to you?

[A]

It wasn't triggering. Like, most of Marcus's friends are women, and, like, mostly women he's hooked up with in stuff. So, like, I've navigated friendships with girls and they have their tongue down his throat, like, whatever. But, like, with Natalie, like, as soon as she starts to chat with someone, it's like text phone calls, FaceTime, you know, like Morse code, you know, SOS and like, I heard one phone call and she had. She had with Marcus, and she was basically, like, bashing Demi and I, and that is not cool.

[B]

Wait, what? What? Okay, I want to explain that phone call. I wasn't bashing you guys. I was in the process of falling down a staircase. I'm just, like, not getting.

[A]

Yeah, but like, before filming, when you got suspended, you called Marcus saying, demi and I are not good friends.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so this is like. That's, like, not what she said. I said that you had called because you were pissed that I had. I was the only one who had your back.

[A]

Well, I wasn't pissed, though. Well, I wasn't pissed. Like, I was hurt. I was, like, hysterically crying. Like, I was so upset.

[B]

Like, you guys don't know what it's like.

[A]

It's, like, really hard. It's, like, really, really hard.

[B]

Yeah, well, so as soon as I heard that, I texted Natalie in a non attacking way, and I was like, I love you, but I'm uncomfortable with how you've been calling and navigating your friendship with Marcus in your stupid, slutty shoes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so Natalie's response, in my opinion, should have been like, I'm so sorry you feel that way. And instead, her response was, so you're saying I can't talk to him. Like, how come Demi can talk to him and I can't? To me, that's like a red flag. Like, don't challenge me when I'm setting boundaries as a friend. Whatever.

[A]

But I don't, like, call Marcus to be like, how's your day? Like, I call Marcus to be like, oh, my God, your girlfriend's such a. I mean, it's totally different. Like, why can't I call Marcus, but everyone else can call Marcus? It's just, like, so unfair. It's, like, literally so unfair.

[B]

You literally stood up, towering over me and screaming with your hands in my face at the Belmont. That's. And that's why I decided to take space from you. Hashtag boundaries.

[A]

Yeah, but I did that because you said I was being inappropriate with your boyfriend, so I was pissed. But, like, don't accuse me of not being a girls girl. I'm a total girls girl.

[B]

Yeah, but you're not a girl's girl. Let me lean forward in my stool to emphasize this. Okay. Let's talk about all the press you've done, throwing us under the bus and lying about all of us. You said that I've been a bully. Tell me when I've been bullied. You. Okay? And if you can't give me a good answer, I'm going to take your lunch money. Sorry.

[A]

You were mean all season. Kim Venus is like, you're mean. There, I said it.

[B]

I said it, girl. Split screen. We are taking it up a level where the split screams. Now they're pointing and they're yelling and everything. And I was like, you told me I'm pathetic and stupid.

[A]

Yeah, but you went on Lala's podcast and said, she thinks I want her man. And I said, I'm. And you said, I'm insecure in my relationship. And also you went on Lala's podcast. Like, who does that?

[B]

Who goes on an old person's podcast? It's like, yeah, well, I do think you're insecure in your relationship. And when I saw her. Saw the first episode, I was, like, so hurt. Do you think I want to keep coming to work and be uncomfortable around you? You guys are always good, but when I come into work, I get like ignored. Yeah. And I'm the singer of Passengers being Ignored.

[A]

No you don't. You don't get ignored. Yes, I do. And you said multiple times lies about me. And like we can all, we can go back and forth all day. And Andy goes, no we can't. O I want to move on. Moving on. So Natalie and Kim now get louder and yell over each other. And Andy's like, oh geez. Chris is just plugging his ears. They're like, I just want peace.

[B]

No, I want peace.

[A]

No, I want peace. Darlings, take a breath now. Breathe out. Booties came out magic.

[B]

Welcome back to the Vanderbilt Rules reunion. Chris and Audrey this season mostly seemed like the healthiest couple on the group. But as they is George being exclusive, Chris was not quite ready for Audrey to be his only fan. That was good. That was good, Andy. That was good.

[A]

So it seemed like there were sparks in the beginning for you and Chris. What did you first like about him? And Audrey's like, well, I asked him about his type and he was like tall, dark hair. So I was like, I'm screwed. So I was like, you know, like, what about personality? And he was like, you know, personality is good too, but like I can't calm on his face, you know what I mean? And I thought that made sense.

[B]

Chris, what did you, what drew you into Audrey? Well, I think we had chemistry and she's definitely mature for 22. And I think it's kind of fun when I go to her house and Mary Faith pops out from the shadows and we both get a scare. Cuz I love horror movies. So I don't know, that's why I, I was like really drawn to that.

[A]

Okay, and you're 31, we sticking with that? He's like, yep, 31. And you still used like older women, I hear. He's like, oh yeah, I dated a lot of older women. I have a weird thing for older women. And Lisa's like, oh, don't drag me into the equation, tiger.

[B]

Yeah, well, Ken better watch out. Hahaha.

[A]

So no. So older women, huh? And he's like, whoa. Like when I was in my teens, like a big. Your teens? Wow, let's dig into that one. He's like, well, you know, it was a kink, you know, I thought maybe they're more experienced in bed so they could teach me a few things, like magic tricks. Oh you, you stop it.

[B]

I always wondered, could I have sex with someone who could saw me in half safely? Of course. Stop it.

[A]

What's the point of getting Sawed in half. I've never done that one before. What do you mean? Get right to the point. Anyway, and Andre goes, lisa fucking. My goodness. Do ladies speak like that here in the 18th century?

[B]

Audrey, what was your reaction to Chris being on two reality shows before this one? She's like, well, I was surprised. I didn't. You know, I didn't find out that until, you know, he came horseback riding. And Andy's like, and by the way, by going on these shows, were you trying to make a name for yourself? Because that is hilarious.

[A]

That would be terrible. People coming on reality TV to make a name for themselves. Shameful. I like that. Audrey is also the only person on the planet who just doesn't Google stuff.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She's like, yep. Didn't know anything about him. Never go like, how do you date? You Google the people. What are you doing? And if someone. You find out someone has an only fans, get your damn 19.99 out and go look at the only fans. Do I have to go over there and teach you how to use the Internet?

[B]

Seriously? So Andy's like, were you trying to find love? And Chris is like, yeah, you know, to get on the show. I would say that, but it wasn't really to find love, you know. You know, it's so easy. You just tell people what they need to hear just to get in their good graces, then the rest is easy. I mean, sorry, sorry, Audrey. I didn't say that part out loud

[A]

to me is like, oh, my God, I love that he's owning that. I love that.

[B]

I don't know why I'm, like, amused by, like, let's. Let's check in on how Demi's enjoying this reunion.

[A]

I think Demi is so underrated on this show. Everyone else gets all the attention, but Demi is so fucking funny on this. She's just so deadpan, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Chris is like, well, I mean, sorry. I just wanted to start a new life. And reality TV seemed, like the way, like, hundreds of people, you know, that's. That's what. That's what y' all do. So Andy asked Audrey about her broken bed frame, and she's like, that was more an IKEA problem than, like, an us problem. But we did have a good time, and then we still slept on it.

[B]

So Americus is like, nice. Liz goes, that's not the answer Chris wants to hear. Because she's like, just say you broke it by having sex. And he wants to hear about the sex. Yeah, Jason, you said five weeks was a long Time for Grist. Who had been seeing someone at that point. Jason's like, yeah, he's an Aries dude's like fire, you know, just like, bouncing around. So obviously there was something special Audrey for him to hold her down. And I see it.

[A]

It.

[B]

She's beautiful on the outside and the inside. She's a very mature girl.

[A]

Isn't Aries wind?

[B]

I don't. I thought Aries was war. I don't know what is.

[A]

Let's look it up. Yeah, let's look it up. Is air. I'm gonna put. Is Aries wind.

[B]

Is. Oh, it's the ram. It's the ram.

[A]

The elementary warships. Let's see. Fire one. Aries. Aries is fire. I had no idea. Look at that.

[B]

Oh, well, look. Look at us learning from sweet, sweet, young Jason.

[A]

Something from Jason. Okay, so. And Andy's like, audrey, you were Chris on the phone saying he wanted to bang MAD in Valley. Mad. Yes. So what's the first red flag for Chris? Was that the first red flag? And she's like, it was definitely like, the second. But, like, he didn't respond to Jason's brother in the way, like, oh, yeah, bro, getting bitches. He was like, shut the fuck up. So I wasn't really mad at first, but then I started spiraling in my head because I realized, like, I really liked him and just, you know, like, you know, he said he's been on other shows for not the right reasons. So that made me wonder, like, is this even, like, real?

[B]

I mean, he couldn't even do limited magic at Wonderful World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. It's like, big red flag. Chris is like, I understand that so much. Well, would you say, Chris, that you're being your authentic self on the show? He's like, yeah. I mean, so the main point of it was that those. Those were dating shows, and that was like, really, it. Like, there's a prize at the end. Like, that's it, you know? So, though they're the people at the end of the show and like fake relationships and they want clout to win the prize, but this isn't a dating show. I'm not here for clout. I'm here for networking and to be the next star of Tangled live action movie.

[A]

I'm not here for clout. I'm here for followers. And how dare you ask me if I'm being authentic? Did you not just hear my penis pump answer?

[B]

Would. Does it sound fake when I give a recommendation of the best body oil? Come on.

[A]

Well, talking to someone's not the same as, oh, Audrey's like, well, yeah, I was shown, like, a Reddit thread with certain details that seem believable, like, he's in people's DMS and stuff. And I was like, well, talking to someone's not the same thing as sleeping with somebody. I mean, to be fair, it's like, well, Natalie says, basically, like, this person said that they were seeing you, Chris, and they said the relationship on the show is, like, fake. So what do you say about that?

[B]

Yeah, because Andy brings up this question of, is it true that Chris was with someone the entire time? And. And then Audrey is like, unless. Unless men are evil monsters. And then everyone's, like, shaking their head like they are. And our relationship was all fake. I just don't believe it was disingenuous. And so Andy's like, was it for you? Was it Chris? You just talked about how you were spent two different reality shows in fake relationships with fake datings that we get to a prize. So was this relationship real for you? He's like, it was 100 real people talk, Andy.

[A]

You know, but there were also rumors from our last dating show that my relationship was so. I mean, what do you. You just said it was.

[B]

You just.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

You just said it was. Everyone at the end had. Was in fake relationships. It is gonna hate. Okay, riddle me this, Chris. You were shocked when Audrey put the brakes on your relationship at Universal, part of the larger NBC Universal group. If you would like to get some discounts, go to Universal stores dot com. Then just a few days later, you're all in saying you want to commit to her, and then you tell Jason you're out. So which one is it?

[A]

He's like, whoa.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

That's so inconsistent. Whoa. Bad on me, right? Woof. Inconsistency, right? Yeah, super inconsistent. Well, I mean, I wanted to keep doing what we were doing, but also put the brakes on it and be honest about, like, the future when we might not be doing that thing. Because, like, I don't want to promise anything or saying something. I'm saying I'm ready for something when I'm not ready, even though I just said all I want is us and I'm ready. So I just, you know, I don't want to lie about something or keep bullshitting, you know, like lying to myself and lying to you. So I was kind of lying, but then I wasn't lying. So now I'm not a liar.

[B]

I'm like, can we go from having a fake, real relationship to just a real Fake relationship.

[A]

Audrey's like, it was completely unfair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

100. So selfish. My bad, my bad. Well, I don't want the relation. I didn't. I don't think the relationship was fake. Right? No, it was fake. No, no, but, like, you know, maybe you just have a problem making up your mind. No, it was fake. Yeah, but, like. But, like, surely you were like, oh, my God, I wonder what Audrey's doing. I was like, I hope Audrey's not coming over. Yeah, but still, like, you really meant, like, you wanted Andre, right? It's like. No, let it go. Cut the cord. Cut the cord.

[B]

The kale salad you served me, that was real kale, though. No, it was. It was tissue paper. God, that makes so much more sense now.

[A]

But really, I had trouble pooping for, like, a week. Oh, it just all seems so complicated, doesn't it? Children. Children with pain, children with love. Negative.

[B]

Why didn't you guys just say we really like each other? I'm going away. Why don't you come with me? Or I go with you. Or here's a coin from behind your ear. Magic.

[A]

What part of banging bad bitches and poly with my guys did you not understand?

[B]

I know. Lisa, did you not watch your own show?

[A]

Don't you just take Audrey to Bali?

[B]

You know, it really comes down to my commitment issues. And, you know, I'm just, like. At this point in life where I'm just, like, I'm not where I think I should be to either be married or to have a girlfriend or waste anyone's time, which is why I told Audrey, I just want to be with you and no one else. I'm all in. I'm not seeing anyone else. Let's go back to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Am I right?

[A]

But you wanted to waste my time, and you wanted to, like, go away and travel and still get to know me. Yes. I mean, that's called dating, though, you know? And he's like, yeah, but that's what I meant by me wanting to leave the door open for you, you know, because, like, look, I learned a long time ago, like, you should hold the door open for a girl, and if you don't want to do that, you should just leave it open. So then I'm still a gentleman. She's like, what? You're wasting my time. And Andy's like, well, it seemed over. You had her over for salads. And Natalie's like, that is so la, by the way.

[B]

It is. Yeah. You had an Uber for Sals and then said, you want to see other people. You didn't even give her a vase for the flowers that you were breaking her up with. What was the intention there? And Chris is like, well, I thought you were ready for commitment, A commitment to a lower calorie diet. And Audrey's like, yeah, I know. And, like, I thought you were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend. And then all of a sudden, you give me tulips and a sandwich and say you want to see other people. Like, that was crazy.

[A]

Natalie's just like, here's a salad. Don't want to be exclusive.

[B]

So Chris is like, well, I either commit and ask you to be my girlfriend, or if it wasn't that, that's it, and we're done. And I just wasn't ready to do either one of those things, so I thought maybe we could just have salad and bang. I don't know. Yeah.

[A]

So Audrey is, like, really animated now, and she's like, well, I understand, but, like, I was expecting to be at least at a point where we weren't going to see other people, and I didn't need you to be my boyfriend, but, like, we shouldn't see other people. I mean, isn't that the same thing? How's that different? If you're not seeing other people, doesn't that mean you're boyfriend and girlfriend?

[B]

I'm not used. I'm really not sure. I think that basically she was embarrassed by the situation because she opened her heart back up to him, and then he was like, actually, I don't want to be exclusive, and she was embarrassed. So she's just like. Like. It's like, no, I'm not fired. I quit. That's basically what's happened.

[A]

I think that she has reason to be annoyed because he did fuck with her, but I think she's annoyed because she didn't really want to be with him anyway. She got the ick from him very early on at that trip. She heard the only fan stuff, probably went to watch it, got grossed out, then was talking herself out of it. Then when he did the whole but I'm here for us, she was like, well, this could be a good show. I think that she was kind of thinking of it as a showmance as much as he was, because I didn't get any. Any sense that she actually really liked him ever.

[B]

Yeah, No, I think it's like, no, it's like. But it's, like, embarrassing because you're like, I have the ick, but fine, I'll bring this guy back. And then right away you're like, oh, like, I never should have done this. And now I'm mortified because, like, he made me look like a fool for taking back. And everyone's gonna be like, we never should have taken back in the first place.

[A]

Yeah. And I agree. I agree that that's true. And she should. She does have a reason to annoy, to be annoyed. I think my only point is that. Is that she was being as fake as he was. Like, she's like, you're so fake for this show, and you went on dating shows, and, you know, everyone's kind of attacking him for being fake. But I think she was being fake too. I don't think she liked him.

[B]

Wow. Hot take. I hope not. Really. Mary Faith is okay with that.

[A]

God damn it, Mary Faith. She's like, I've been here the whole time.

[B]

I was. I was feeding the lines into Ronnie's ear commercials. Here comes one right now.

[A]

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[B]

to help make every part of your stay seamless.

[A]

If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready

[B]

whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the

[A]

moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts. Starts with the right support. And, hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.

[B]

So Lisa's like, good for you for standing up for yourself, whoever you are. Person next to me on this television show. So then they have not hooked up ever since they broke up. And Chris, Andy is like, are you seeing anyone now? And Chris, like, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

I'm seeing someone get quiet and just look at him. And Audrey's like, well, guess what? I'm seeing myself, and I'm focusing on me, and I'm not seeing anyone until I decide if they're. They're worth my time and my energy and my body. And I hope that the person you're seeing that they're ready for you and that you figured yourself out, because a bag of salad doesn't cut it.

[B]

I hope that whoever you're seeing knows that you can't just wave a wand and make a window light up at Universal Studios. Okay?

[A]

Literally, you're terrible at it.

[B]

It's literally always supposed to happen for everyone in the theme park, and five

[A]

year olds do it, but you can't

[B]

be better at limited magic. So Andy's like, welcome back, Marcus. And Kim's on, off again. Wait a second. On again. Relationship had their colleagues looking at them like they were from Mars. But when Venus fell out of their orbit, the sir Galaxy became more toxic than ever. See, because like, Venus is a planet and Mars is Mars. So it's like space and like, you know, solar system. Okay, let's just go. Let's go forward.

[A]

So Kim, when you heard Marcus say he was falling out of love, that was rough. That was rough. I called him. I called him. Didn't call me back. Still waiting on that text. But then. Then you were back together 12 hours later. What's the deal with that? She's like, yeah, I was in survival mode, cuz, like, I was like, kind of holding him up when he lost his mom. And then I thought if. If I were to lose him at the same time, I would lose it.

[B]

Lisa immediately goes into broken bird mode because you. They cut to her and her, like, lower lip is out. She's like, there's a broken bird. I sense there'll be tears coming soon. I'm ready.

[A]

She could do it in here. Do it into this. When it mixes with the stem cells I took from Audrey when she was bent over picking up a Kleenex off the floor, it becomes magic.

[B]

So Andy is like, marcus, what drove you to say that you're falling out of love with Kim? He's like, yeah, well, we were going through a tough time that night, you know, because I wanted to be a dj. She wanted to just have me answer simple questions, and I didn't want to talk to her face. And I decided I'd say she wanted

[A]

me to answer simple questions.

[B]

I just, I was like, stop asking me about where the car's parked. I'm out of love with you.

[A]

Seems like this relationship's been bumpy. Oh, God. We're still talking about Marcus and Kim. I have to fast forward because this is. This is too much. So then now we get over to Venus. He's like, okay, Venus, is this their typical pattern? And Venus is like, oh, my God, since the beginning girl. Like. And I truly think, like, they're not even compatible. I mean, Marcus is like a 35 year old frat boy and Kim's like an office executive. You know what I mean? Like, what is she even doing? Like, looking for staplers everywhere. I mean, it's ridiculous. And I just think to get, like, together, it's really embarrassing. Okay? And they can both be better.

[B]

Kim is like, that's offensive. And I'm reporting you to hr.

[A]

You are not getting the bathroom pass at all today.

[B]

As per my previous email. I don't like it when you talk to me like that way.

[A]

Could you be CC on me on this next time? Okay? She's like, yeah, but Venus has not been involved in our relationship for the past six months. So to say that we're still embarrassing. Like, people can improve a lot in six months. Audrey's like, well, that doesn't disregard how he felt about your relationship at that time, though. He's on fire for no reason through this whole.

[B]

I know.

[A]

This whole thing and another thing. And everyone else is just looking at her like, okay.

[B]

Marcus is like. Marcus sort of has, like, a low blow here. He's like, the thing is, with Venus, Venus's perspective comes like somebody who, like, doesn't know what it feels like to be in love and go through turmoil or to deal with, you know. You know, like Natalie trying to find a paperclip. It's like a really intense thing for us.

[A]

I mean, that was kind of low, but it's also true, you know, And I get caught in the same situation because I'm never in a relationship either. And so when sometimes I'll be going off to somebody and they're like, what the fuck do you know? Like, you don't have to deal. You don't. You never even have to deal with this, you know?

[B]

Yeah, but like, I think the. You are not a relationship, so you don't really know what you're talking about. Like, I kind of feel like that's half bullshit because.

[A]

Oh, really? Well, call me when you're a mother and you understand what it's like to raise children.

[B]

But just because, like, you know. Yes, it's. You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. And like, some. The. Of the bickering, the fighting is like a love language. But there's also, like, a lot of couples that don't. Don't do what Marcus and Natalie do. Like, it's not the constant breaking up and getting back together. It's not bickering and the fighting and using other people as, like, sort of props in their fighting. So, like, yeah, like, yes, he is not in a relationship. So he doesn't understand maybe all the nuances of the thing that happen once you're in a relationship. But also, like, it doesn't take a genius to know, like, there's some fundamental issues with these. With these two, unfortunately, one also.

[A]

Yeah, we. We don't have to be relationship experts to be dragged into it because you keep dragging us into it. So I think if Venus was there, like, giving his opinion when he wasn't asked, it's one thing. But, yeah, they Drag him into it constantly. So. Yeah, that's a good point. Okay, so Kim is. Sorry.

[B]

Venus is saying, like, you know, like, that he has his. His opinion matters because he's been around them more than anyone. And Angelica's like, guys, for, like, the last six months, I've really been in their corner, and I've seen their relationship grow stronger, and I do see a foundation of love there, and I do think they can work it out. And they're just, like. They are growing the way my chest is growing. That's all I'll say about that.

[A]

Well, I think they've proven to me that I just need to, like, love them at a distance and, like, I don't trust either of them, so.

[B]

Well, do you think if they were split up, your relationships with both of them would improve? It's like. Like, I guess, but, like, more with Kim, you know, because she has, like, so much to teach me about, like, you know, doing an invoice or, like, doing a proper letter, you know, changing

[A]

the ink on Xerox machines is hard, girl. Like, I'll take the advice, you know, but, like, Marcus, like, I'll feel the same about Marcus no matter what. Like, whatever.

[B]

Yeah, she knows how to fix, like, a paper jam, so that's, like, really helpful to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, Venus has been in a bad relationship in the past, and the truth is a toxic. It was a toxic, toxic relationship. And I think that, like, Marcus reminds him of his ex, and he's projected a lot of that onto Marcus and I, and he's like, yeah, that's true. He's like, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And Kim's like, but I'm not you. That's true, too. Thank God. Okay, so Venus admits that he. He's like, you know, like, I. I look at their relationship through my own relationship and project all my. So that is true. And he's like. When Marcus is screaming at Kim, like, I don't only get triggered by personally, but, like, it also unsettles me for her based on how I experienced that situation with me.

[B]

Sandy's like, well, I thought that you weren't sexually active in a while. And so he says this is his eighth year without sex. And so instead of finding love for himself, he just inserts himself into other relationships. And now he's just. He's like, now I've learned I just won't do that anymore. Hair fling. Ha.

[A]

Yeah. And he's, like, kind of crying and stuff. And then Marcus is like, just one more thing. Like, I went out of my way to apologize to Venus when he's affected by me and Kim fighting. And I will never include you in that again. Okay. Like, have I ever included you since then? No. Right. Okay. Why are you crying? Why are you crying? And Lisa's like, oh, you crying? Hand me the chalice.

[B]

Lisa's like, wait a second. I didn't realize. There's a broken bird just right here to my left.

[A]

They're everywhere. Ben, get a. Ken, better get a bucket, darling.

[B]

We need more chalices. There's tears everywhere. They're gonna pump pouring out.

[A]

Office manager lady, go get the gallon water out from the back, empty it out and bring it in here. We need it.

[B]

I do love that, like, Kim and Venus are basically fighting. But now that Venus is crying, Kim's like, oh, my God, are you crying? She's like, well, I mean, it's just,

[A]

like, the topic overwhelming for a second, but, like, I'm fine. I'm fine about it. It's like, tell us what you're feeling. Tell us.

[B]

This is such a. This is such a. This really is so, like, Gen Z Vanderpump rules. Because it's like, wait a second. Please explain your emotional state right now, which is all right.

[A]

It's been so hard watching Marcus and Gim for so long and then rehashing. It's like. It just hit me. Is there anything you can share about your past relationship? And so he is talking about being in high school, and he was with someone who basically abused him, who was, like, punching him, hitting him, and even when he was driving in a car with him, like, punched him when he was driving a car full of people, which is crazy. And he was an alcoholic and he tortured him, and then he had a fling with his boss who would make him have sex with him or not get paid. What the.

[B]

Yeah. And then he just, like, this, like, ultimately led to, like, suicidal ideation, so he had a really rough go of it. And so he has actually a lot of trauma that's wrapped up in relationships and being with people. And then he decided he's just, like, not going to talk to men ever again, and he's just going to focus on himself. And that's why he moved to la, so that way he could be the star that he always knew he could be. And he left all that behind, so no dating for right now. And so he has, like, a nice triumphant moment, and they're all. They actually all really rally. And then this is where Marcus, he is like. He's like, it really breaks my heart to see you cry. Like, this because I really felt like you were like you, but it makes me feel like, damn, he really did care about our friendship in. In the way that I thought he did. And so now they're both crying. But, like, when Marcus is crying because he's like, I'm not. I'm not making fun of a very serious moment in Venus's life, because by the time Marcus is crying, they've now, like, sort of moved past it. So now Marcus is just, like, crying about the two of them being friends. So I'm like. I feel like I can make fun of it again. And he's just, like, doing this. He's, like, crying like, I just, like, miss you, bro. And then he's, like, saying that. He's like, I could be a. But maybe I pushed Venus to be cold towards him. And so now they're both. They're crying at each other and, like, loving on each other. And Venus is like, well, Marcus is. Shitheadedness is. It's endearing because it's like, it's part of our dynamic. He's like, yeah, it's part of our dynamic, bro. I love you, bro.

[A]

I love you, bro. Well, Shane, I'm curious how your flirtationship with Natalie started and then drove you to bring another girl to the sir. That was hilarious. He's like, well, Marcus invited me out a month or so before filming, and I thought, Natalie making out with some dude. It was my birthday. That's why. That's what you do on your birthday.

[B]

Yeah. So she was making out with a dude, and I was like, damn. I just, like, kind of want to be the one making out with her.

[A]

It was Millie Bobby Brown's brother. I found filmed Demi, Demi.

[B]

Demi with the footnotes. Yeah. So it didn't happen that night, but then the next time I went out with the boys, we met up, and I thought it was a date, but she didn't think it was a date. So I was like, yeah, I thought we were just, like, meeting up before everyone else in the group. I didn't know it was, like, a date. So Andy's like, Natalie. That seems to be a running theme where you don't think it's a day, but other people do.

[A]

Oh, her brother's pretty cute. Of course, I had to come look up Millie Bobby Brown's brother.

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna look him up also.

[A]

He's pretty cute, I think. Well, is this the right guy? Three siblings, Paige.

[B]

Charlie.

[A]

His name is Charlie Brown.

[B]

Can I tell you something?

[A]

Why would you do that to your Child.

[B]

Why are you naming one child Bobby Brown? Another child Charlie Brown. I'm sorry.

[A]

They were determined to get those kids in to some. To be famous somehow, right?

[B]

Yeah, I guess. So hold on.

[A]

Let me show the people at home who this brother is, and we can all decide together whether or not Bobby Brown. I think he's very hot. Okay, let's look. He's got like an Eddie Munsty, Eddie Munster, kind of like widow's peak thing. He's cute.

[B]

He kind of looks to me like a young version of Cersei's brother. Lover from Game of Thrones, Alex.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Jaime Lannister.

[B]

Jaime Lannister, yeah. Also Millie Bobby Brown. Like, she. How old is she? Because she looks like.

[A]

It's like she's like 20. I know. She just did. She did a lot of growing up things.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know what she did. So. Yeah, she looks like a full on. Like it's like 20 years later and they're remembering stranger things. And not in like an aging way. Just like a styling way, I guess.

[B]

Yeah, styling. Anyway, that's what I meant.

[A]

Like, she's like, I'm Christy. Or I'm. What's a. I'm Cindy. Cindy Crawford. You know, she's got like that. Goodbye, Hello. I'm Cindy Crawford now. I was 20 last week, and I'm Cindy Crawford, God damn it. So anyway, they're talking about Natalie getting some Millie Robbie Brown brother ass, some Charlie Brown ass on her birthday. And it made Shane jealous. And so it couldn't happen that night, but he figured he would try it again. But then they met up and he thought it was a date, but she didn't think it was a date. She's like, what? Wait, what? I thought we were just meeting up before everyone else in the group. Like, why does everybody think I'm on a date with them? What.

[B]

What do you define as a date? Then she goes, like, having, like an official plan. Like, not on the spot being like, hey, do you want to meet up in an hour? And then Jason's like, yeah, but the painting we did was an official plan. And Chris. Yeah, I think. I think what it is is that you're like a. You're a flirtatious person. So I could see how someone like Jason is. Would think that you would have feelings for him.

[A]

Yeah. And Jason's all sad. It's like looking down, he's like. It's like, yeah, but like, that's like the whole time I tried to reiterate that we were just friends, you know, I tried to let him know, like, I don't. Don't read into this, okay? Like, come on. He's like, well, she did say that, but it didn't feel like that. But you said it. And after that, I guess it's not up to me anymore.

[B]

Yeah, you should have just, like, told me you were developing feelings so I could like, like, not have been so flirty because I thought I was like, saying, like, we're friends, we're friends, we're friends. I'm. I'm a girl. I'm just a girl from a one story house. Like, I don't understand these things. And then you were okay with that.

[A]

He's like, but I don't have to tell you because I'm telling you with my actions, and my actions are my eyebrows. And no one's ever, ever walked away from these before. She's like, whatever, it was my birthday.

[B]

She's like, well, I'm sorry I didn't read your mind. Love you.

[A]

Okay, well, we've got a new dummy on the scene. This cast was already new, but we figured we needed to add someone else in. Here's Natalie's first image. And she's falling on the ground. That was hilarious. Natalie, what's it like to fall on the ground the first second you walk in?

[B]

She's like, angelica, first and foremost.

[A]

What was I calling you? Natalie. Oh, sorry, my bad.

[B]

So we see Angelica and Andy's like, well, it wasn't long before she was planting her nose and Chris and Jason's business and planting her flag on Shane. Angelica, you seem to fall in love really fast.

[A]

You know, like when I came into the group, like, I just gotten out of a really long year and a half long relationship. So, like, I used a relationship with the guys. Like I was talking about talking to us, like kind of a distraction.

[B]

Okay, well, the jiu jitsu date did not go well. And we see footage of that and then he's like, was it back pain or the realization that he was dating someone else? That hurts? Like, no, the back pain didn't like, start hurting until the next day. And then it came back again once I got these gigantic boobs. And I guess it's just a chronic thing I have now. Thanks.

[A]

Well, Chris seemed convinced you guys were playing it up with the back pain. It's like, yeah, that was a little insane. And Jason's like, that was malicious.

[B]

Yeah, but like, Jason, like, like Jason did it on purpose, which was like 100, not the case. Like, you Made it sound like you tried to, like, hurt your back, you know? And Jason's like, yeah, I never slammed Angelica. I was light with her. I was light. I was, like, having fun, and she was, like, laughing. And you slam me on the floor right in front of everyone. And any guy knows that he's physically more dominant, stronger than a woman, just gonna treat them, like, a little bit more gently. He's like, when I look back at it, I was like, damn, I could have been more light. But in the moment, the laughter and everything, I thought it was just fun for me. And you weren't exhibiting any facial expression of pain, except for you kept on gritting your teeth and going, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. But I thought that was just you being, like, flirty.

[A]

Why would I want to break your back when I want you on it most of the time? That's my question. She's like, oh, well, that's not a terrible point. So, Jason, when she asked about your last relationship, why did you lie and make it sound like you were single? He's like, well, actually, it was, like, long distance, so I was, like, single locally. So, like, actually, it was, like, in a different continent, so I was, like, single continently. And, like, we didn't even speak the same language. So, like, it's. It's pretty complicated. But I basically tell you one thing. My girlfriend from another continent sure can't give me direction.

[B]

I basically would just facetime with the granddaughter of Rice Gorbachev. We didn't know what we're saying to each other, but she's pretty hot. Okay, well. Okay, well, if. Jason. Are you aware how misleading it might have been for Angelica? And he's like, not necessarily. Yeah, no, you did. He's like, but on the first day of talking at this pool party, you can shake your head all you want, but it comes down to it, I was getting to know you. So for me, it just felt, like, unfair.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, I was getting to know you, too. And then, like, I led with honesty because honesty goes a long way, and if you were doing something with someone else, doesn't matter if they're in another country or not. Jason's like, well, then why don't you tell me you were still your ex? But wait, but I said I lived with my ex. And everyone's laughing because she kind of gets caught there. And Andy's like, but you didn't say you were still sleeping together. Well, but, like, it's still an emotional connection, Ryan. Like, Angelica. And Natalie's like, well, Angelica wants to be the one girl that a guy's talking to, then, like, you know, I'm not even saying that to offend you, but, like, she does.

[B]

I was still living with my ex, and we share two separate bedrooms. Like, we don't go to bed together at night.

[A]

He's like, but you do sleep together still?

[B]

I mean, yeah. I mean, that's the safest way. I'm not gonna go sleep with a random person on the street. I mean, go down the hallway. I love this.

[A]

And then Jason's like, but you had intercourse with him. Like, sex. You said it. She goes, yeah, but, like, I was sleeping with my ex. I mean, I'm pretty sure that most people go through a breakup and still live with their ex are gonna sleep with their ex. But, like, it's not like I'm trying to connect with them. It's just like, you know, it's just easier to have sex before you go to work. Like, you were forming a connection with the continent person.

[B]

How do you know that? Because you told me. You were on top of me, and you're saying, it's over, by the way. Now let me kiss you. And then that's how it happened, and that's how it got away from me. And she's. She's like. She's like, this is how it happened. And he's like, no, let me see. It actually is kind of how it happened.

[A]

Well, Angelica, you posted a screenshot of a text from Jason where he implied your jiu jitsu bruises were from rough sex. Have you two slept together? He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was just a joke. That was just a joke. I don't even really like rough sex. I prefer sex when somebody is at

[B]

least 6,000, thousand miles away and is like, we. And Andy explains. Angelica posted this bruise pictures on her stories. And then Jason was like, can you take that down? Jason's like, I was joking that we were rolling around rough like Mr. Mrs. Smith. But then you posted. What you posted was rude and out of context, quite frankly. And if I did that, you definitely wouldn't like it. She's. N's like, yeah. And there's other things that you posted specifically about us as a group that were hurtful. You called us boring, and you said that if we get another season, it's because of yo. And, like, I'm sorry. I think we all know it's because of my number one smash hit, passengers.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm sorry, but, like, that's what other people were, like, saying to me that you guys were, like, boring. And everyone goes, it's a screenshot of a text you sent saying that you were the one saying it. She's like, okay, yes. Okay. In all fairness, I thought you guys were boring, because I asked you guys what was going on, and, like, why is everyone fighting? And then no one explained anything to me except Demi, but even she said, it's too complicated.

[B]

So Angelica came onto this new show, was like, oh, my God, we're shooting a reality show. But you guys are all so boring. That's basically what she's saying. Yeah.

[A]

Audrey goes, oh, my God, Angelica, you need to be studied in a lab.

[B]

And then we see footage that Natalie and Angelica did, like, go to the nail salon and everything. And Natalie was like, this friend group has never been so divided. Kim was saying that she can't send Demi, and now they're, like, best friends. And now she's screaming in my face, I'm a psychotic bitch. And, like, Debbie's like, oh, my God, you're so annoying. And the next thing you know, I'm falling down a staircase, and it's just, like, crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So then we see some unfooted, unseen footage. Okay, so Andy's like, well, I want to address something else. Angelica, you got into an Instagram scuffle with Audrey after the Jiu Jitsu episode, dragging Audrey for calling you a homie hopper. And Angelica's like, well, I was really offended by a homie Hopper incident, you know, And I saw her call me that, but she was the one encouraging me to homie hop in the first place. So now how am I a homie hopper? And Lisa's like, andy, what is a homie?

[B]

What is that? Is this something on HRTV? GGTVs?

[A]

Is this a new kind of gay? Please tell me so I can plan the correct party, darling.

[B]

I think it means just jumping around from guy to guy. Ooh, if only I could do that. But I've got kin. Saucy. Audrey's like, well, I already said sorry to the guys for telling you to make Jason mad by going to Shane. And I don't think you'd be in his lap, right? I didn't think you'd be in his lap right away. I was literally making a joke. Hello, comedian over here. To homie hop. Don't hold me. Walk like, sue me, sue me. Okay, I wasn't slut shaming you. Never even once.

[A]

Yeah, but then when Chris called me a, you just stood there silent, and Chris is like, I didn't call you a. Huh? The abbey and she's like, if I heard that, I would have said something. She's. Nah, you didn't say anything when he called me a. That's a good point. That was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Because you were being a. Because you were being a in that moment and you already made. Made me mad. So why would I stand up for you? The only thing I stand up for is comedy. Stand up comedian over here. That's right.

[A]

Can I ask a question, Audrey? Why are you so mad today? You're very upset. The whole reason.

[B]

Reunion because after the past two episodes have come out, I've been brutalized on social media. I've gotten death threats.

[A]

You're not the only one. I also got death threats. They were. They were better than you.

[B]

Shut the up. They were up. No, but my. No, they were saying that like we're gonna kill you. Like you killed that room in the comedy place.

[A]

Don't talk to me like that. I will. Because you started it, you stupid. Okay, Audrey, you. You've been maligned on social media because you were a total asshole on the last two episodes. Sorry. No one made you do that. How are you going to make it Angelica's fault that you treated her like and publicly humiliated her on purpose? That's crazy.

[B]

It's crazy. Keep doing it. Thank you very much.

[A]

Keep it up.

[B]

So what a fun little.

[A]

By crazy, I mean cr. Amazing.

[B]

Amazing. This is my kind of reunion. It's sort of like it just moves along, goes from beat to beat. And it's not drawn out over three episodes. Episodes. It's as long as it needs to be. Very fun times over here for me. So good. Good first episode of the reunion.

[A]

All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next time.

[B]

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