#3246 Southern Charm S11E14: Blood, Sweat, and Heals

Summary

Watch What Crappens – Episode #3246: Southern Charm S11E14: Blood, Sweat, and Heals

Date: March 5, 2026
Hosts: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam

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Episode Overview

Ben and Ronnie return to recap the latest Southern Charm episode, “Blood, Sweat, and Heals,” set during the cast’s trip to Mexico. The episode is heavy on group dynamics, emotional outbursts, and attempted healing rituals, offering plenty of fodder for the hosts to praise, ridicule, and drag (with their signature mixture of sass and Bravo fandom). Ben and Ronnie dissect Craig's drunken meltdown, the group’s misguided attempts at spiritual healing, and Southern Charm’s ever-troubling patterns of enabling bad behavior—never missing a chance to infuse wit, critical insight, and their trademark mockery.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Craig’s Drunken Outburst & Group Enablement

• Van Meltdown Fallout: The episode picks up with the aftermath of Craig lashing out in the van at Sally, after already yelling at Vanita.
  • Ronnie (04:54): “I'm shocked at all the people standing up for Craig. Even after last—then I thought, okay, maybe they'll be different if it's Sally... No, they're still like, Craig's amazing.”
• Challenging Excuses for Craig’s Behavior:
  • Ben and Ronnie push back on audience and cast excuses about Craig’s alcoholism and Paige’s role in his spiral.
  • Ronnie (06:02): “Alcoholism...does not make you a terrible person. It just like, lightens up your filters...Craig is a terrible person. The alcohol just, like, takes off the rose-colored glasses for the rest of us.”
  • Ben (06:54): “Can we also not blame Paige?...Why do you think Paige left?...She left because of this behavior.”
• Accountability (or Lack Thereof):
  • Frustration is clear as the group focuses on Craig “needing support” more than his victims needing apologies.
  • Ben (16:02): “I have a hot take. I think Craig should feel like a pariah. If you do that to someone, you should feel like you've done something bad, you've broken a social pact with your group and that there are repercussions to it.”

2. The Aftermath: Roommates Recap & Emotional Fallout

• Morning Check-ins:
  • Shep tries to wake Craig for fishing; the group tries to process what happened.
  • Ronnie (12:27): “Craig won't answer his door. He must hate himself right now.”
  • Ben (12:52): “That requires some sort of self-awareness and we're still waiting for that ship to arrive in the port.”
• Focus on Victims or Instigator?
  • Ronnie notes that the cast centers their concern on Craig rather than Sally or Vanita.
  • Ronnie (15:43): “I always feel like after you berate a woman on a bus savagely, you need a lot of support because it takes a lot out of you because abusive assholes just need hugs. Really?”

3. Humorous Asides and Recurring Jokes

• Charlie’s Faces & Running Gags:
  • The hosts riff on Charlie’s “perfect frown face” and compare her to a Peanuts character.
  • Ronnie (09:10): “She also makes like the perfect Charlie Brown crying face. She does Charlie Peanuts.”
• Iguana in the Pool:
  • An iguana swimming across the hotel pool becomes a metaphor for cast members, with Ronnie quipping: “That iguana was the Sally of iguanas. It was like, you look at me. You're bathing, diva.” (32:02)
• Drag and Drop Bit:
  • Ronnie’s recurring tech rant about losing his Mac’s “three-finger drag-and-drop function” becomes a running gag, mirroring Bravo stars’ penchant for making everything “their thing.”
  • Ronnie (25:19): “That’s like my thing. Everyone knows I love to drag and drop on my computer...they’re taking that away from me!”

4. Attempted Healing: Sweat Lodge, Sound Bath, and Group Rituals

• Spiritual Rituals Sheepishly Embraced and Mocked
  • Ben notes the contrast between the group’s buy-in for New Age rituals and their lack of real introspection or lasting change.
  • Ben (54:20): “It was very woo woo. But in a way that I was like, I kind of want to do it...I was surprised that they all had buy-in because this crew here, I mean, you never know with [them].”
  • Ronnie is skeptical: “Do I think this woo woo spiritual journey is gonna fix stuff? No, it’s gonna take more than this.” (60:41)
• Sweat Lodge Extremes:
  • The duo discuss the dangers and intensity of sweat lodges, referencing a real-life incident and Gina from Real Housewives of Orange County’s own Bravo sweat lodge trauma.
  • Ronnie (48:16): “Yeah, like, I feel like there was a story...Arizona...led by a self-help author. And like, several people died.”
• The Group’s Lack of Progress:
  • Despite the pomp, there’s cynicism about whether any healing occurs.
  • Ben (59:37): “All those fun memories of when you guys stood and held hands and stared into each other's eyes. Yeah.”

5. The State of the Group & Looking Ahead

• Calls for Apologies and Realism About Change:
  • Charlie (60:05): “I think that Craig owes all of us an apology for his behavior, and I just don't want to have to tell him that. I want him to kind of come to that conclusion on his own.”
  • Ronnie (60:41): “You can either wait for that, or you can wait for Haley’s comet to come back.”
• Previewing the Finale:
  • Ben teases the masquerade ball season finale and the upcoming Southern Hospitality recap, strongly encouraging listeners not to miss it.
  • Ben (61:01): “Next week is the season finale where they will get into formal wear and have another masquerade ball in downtown Charleston and yell at each other...As Southern Charm sunsets, the sun rises on Southern Hospitality.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (04:28): “No computer will deprive us of that. So Southern Charm. We are in Mexico still. And last time, as you may remember, Craig lost his shit in a van and screamed at Sally, and for really no good reason.”
• Ronnie (16:48): “But he's still a jackass. You still get thrown in jail for a DUI. They don't hug you on the way out. You know what I mean?”
• Ben (20:10): “Craig was crazy last night. I don’t know what set him off, but he started screaming at me, like, what is wrong with him?”
• Ronnie (54:43): “Buy-in meaning that they all bought into this idea. Like, no one was like, this is stupid. This is silly. Why are we doing this? ... They all were like, okay, we're gonna do this. We're gonna, like, have a sound bath and feel something.”
• Ben (60:05): “You can either wait for that, or you can wait for Haley’s Comet to come back. I don’t know which one will happen first.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Craig’s Van Blowup Recap: 04:28 – 06:54
• Discussing Blame & Accountability: 06:54 – 17:03
• Yoga & ‘Corpse Pose’ Tangent: 22:27 – 24:18
• Sweat Lodge Preparation and Ceremony: 44:54 – 48:45
• Ben & Ronnie on Actual Healing/Change: 54:20 – 60:05
• Closing Reflections & Next Week Tease: 61:01 – 61:55

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Tone, Style & Takeaways

Ben and Ronnie’s blend of sharp humor, Bravo-insider references, and exasperated fandom threads throughout the recap. Their approach is irreverent yet passionate, veering from parody to heartfelt critique of toxic dynamics and enabling behaviors on Southern Charm. The healing rituals, while ripe for mockery, also serve as a mirror for the group’s avoidance of substantive change. As always, the hosts alternate between loving the mess and wishing, just once, for a little more real accountability—preferably before the next sauna, cacao ceremony, or Bravo spin-off.

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For full episodes, bonus content, and interactive fun, catch Watch What Crappens wherever you get your podcasts or support the show on Patreon.

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Transcript

[A]

Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan Fellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[B]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball, but you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[A]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

[B]

That's right. Hey. Hey. So each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[A]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. So, spoiler alert, he'll be wrong.

[B]

News flash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy Fan fellows wherever you get your podcasts. Who cares what happens when there's so much that. Well, hello and welcome to Watch what Crap Ins podcast about all that crap on Bravo we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the glorious, perhaps sweaty and healed Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Hi.

[A]

What you doing?

[B]

I am just sitting here podcasting with you and enjoying the fact that I did not have to endure a sweat lodge last night. Although we did watch it on Southern Charm. Before we get into that, we are still basking in the glory of the crappies. Ronnie just put out a tremendous bonus newsletter that I contributed to this week where we talked. We both did, we both did joint effort. But you, you actually pressed publish on the document. So I'm going to give you all the credit where we talk about the road that leading up to and through the crappies and what we did. And Ronnie put in some really cool BTS stuff, some videos from rehearsal, some pictures, things like that. So if you want to see how the sausage is made and see how it all came together, what our experience was with all that gloriousness, go check out our newsletter that's over on Patreon, but it's free to everyone. You don't have to be a Patreon member. It just lives on Patreon. That's where it's. That's where its home is. So go check it out there. Patreon.com Watch what crappens. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting on Patreon and also who's been getting our live feed. Just a reminder, if you missed the show or you're starting to feel some FOMO, you can still actually watch it. Crappies.kidsweet.com or just go to our website, watchcrafts.com and you can watch the replay. That's going to be available through the end of next week and then it's gone forever. So definitely take a look at that. Thanks. By the way, on a personal note, thanks to everyone who joined me last night. I was cooking onions for 45 minutes and I decided to flip on the live switch on our Instagram and I was up there and I was chatting and then the campire joined. So thanks to everyone who joined for the Instagram Live last night. That was fun. And then all the usual great stuff. We got bonus episodes this week. We were doing two bonus episodes. They're both free. The first one already went up. It was Rob Cernino of Rob has a podcast and the Traitors. And we talked about the Traitors and Survivor. You should have already seen that in your feed, but if you missed it, it's there. Rob is a joy and he's a wonder. And then we have another interview that we're doing later today, but we're not going to say who it is in case it. In case it falls through. But needless to say, it is another member of the Traders and I think. Think you guys are going to want to hear this one. So keep eyes and ears out for that video on Patreon. Joy on Patreon. Love on Patreon. Patreon.com watchforcrappins and that is that. Ronnie, what do you say?

[A]

Nothing. Well, the. The computer updated itself and now I can't move. I can't drag things. Oh, my God. I just figured it out. So during your. During your opening, I figured out how to turn on drag again with three fingers on my track. And now I'm okay. I was about to lose my shit.

[B]

Yeah, but this is crap. We will never lose the ability to drag things.

[A]

That's. I know. That's like my biggest. That's the only thing I have in life is dragging stuff. So don't take it away from me.

[B]

No computer will. Will deprive us of that. So Southern charm. We are in Mexico still. And last time, as you may remember, Craig lost his shit in a van and screamed at Sally, and for really no good reason. I mean, she. She basically was like, you got bang. Your bangs are in your eyes. And he's like, shut the up. You're like the worst. Everyone hates you, man.

[A]

Right after yelling at Vanita. So he was. He's having a great, great track record there. I'm shocked at all the people standing up for Craig. Even after last, you know, then I thought, okay, well, maybe they'll be different if it's Sally. Like, maybe, you know, yeah, maybe they just don't like Vanita or something. But no, they're still like, craig's amazing.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's actually kind of shocking, so.

[A]

And I just give to that. I just give Charlie Slick. Still my favorite face.

[B]

I know. It's not just that she's frowning. It's that she's also sort of like, hunched over into her front. It's so amazing. It's like, definitely like that. That look needs to be up for a crappy next, if we remember. So Craig is like, oh, so now we're sad at how we get punched back. Oh, and Rodrigo's like, stop this. Stop the dude, girlfriend. You guys can cry all you want. We already know the issues. And Austin's like, sally, he does not deserve your tears. Stop crying. Don't cry. Don't give him the tears. Sally is insane.

[A]

She's like, he's crazy. We had chickens together. I still marry him. I'd still marry him. I forgive him. He's so sexy when he's mad. So now it's 1222. And by the way, Craig looks. I mean, Craig is the epitome of coke blood right now. He is. His face is bloated. It's red. He looks disgusting. And I think a lot of people. Another comment I'm seeing a lot is like, poor Craig, you know, Paige really, you know, put him into a spiral, and now he fell off the wagon. You guys, alcoholism, alcohol does not make you a terrible person. Okay? It, like, lightens up your filters a little bit, but. Or eases your filters or ever. But it doesn't just turn you into a. Craig is a terrible person. The alcohol just, like, takes off the rose colored glasses for the rest of us. So stop with this. Stop blaming alcohol for everything. Justice for Tito's.

[B]

Can we also, like, not blame Paige for Craig falling off the wagon? He, like, voluntarily, like, took us. He told the wagon to stop and took a few steps off of it. And also, why do you think Paige left? Okay. Do you. Do you. What about this episode makes you think, like, that there was any good reason for Paige to stay? I mean, we all know that he treated her like this behind the scenes at some point. Like, she basically alluded to it, and then it's like, oh, it's her fault that he's. That he's acting this way. She left because of this behavior. So they get. They arrive at the hotel. And Craig storms out, and he's like, get me out of this. Wait, what's your. What's your problem?

[A]

Oh, you're the one. Oh, it's hard for you moving on this van. Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, sorry. You're the one who's ruining this van, and sounds like he's the most.

[A]

You're the one who farted in the van, sir. You're the one who dealt it. And then you're complaining about being the one that smelt it.

[B]

Yeah, you probably smell like dip, too. Let's be honest. So where's the hotel? Craig's so drunk, he doesn't even realize where the hotel is, Even though they stopped at the. They're literally the hotel at the hotel.

[A]

So everyone comes out, and Rodrigo is just like, oh, my God, her grind was insane. Yeah, Rodrigo, way to do nothing as usual. Okay? Except gossip and start problems and do nothing. When it comes down to it, nothing except go, whoa. Move your eyes around like that. Come on, Rodrigo.

[B]

Yeah. Whitner and Vanita are like, what happened? And Sally's like, hey, we're nuts. Which is funny because I want nuts. Austin's nuts. Yoo.

[A]

Charlie's like, yeah. I mean, for no reason, too. I mean, it was, like, crazy. You just, like, went crazy, guys. And Sally's like, I didn't even say a goddamn thing. Like, yeah, she didn't really even say anything this time. Whitney's like, what? What? What the happened? I mean, there were cameras there, right? Right. Well, he goes, you're a loser, and I don't want to be friends with you. You're full of. And I'm like, you. I'm killing popcorn after this. I'm killing popcorn. Popcorn's dead.

[B]

Melon gets to stay in cantaloupe, too. But popcorn, you're gone.

[A]

Popcorn never fit in anyway.

[B]

Whitney is like, well, I'm sorry to hear that. Oh, mother. She's. It was awful. And I'm like, guess who's writing him off. Me. You, Craig Little bastard. And Rodrigo's like, oh, my God. Girl. Girlfriend. Snap. So everyone, their rooms.

[A]

Gay, exclamation. Gay exclamation. Sucks to have a friend yell you like that. Like, I generally am her. Like, wait, where's our key? I think I have our key. Where's our key? Charlie's like, oh, my God. It should not be this hard. Just. Oh, my God. Just let me do it. Hold on. It'll open with my face.

[B]

Door's like, she does. Charlie does have, like, perfect, like, bottle opener face. Like, she could, like, you could turn her face into a little bottle opener and snap the tops off of bottles. She.

[A]

I mean, I know you. I know you're making a joke, but I live in Texas, and people really do use their face to open bottles sometimes.

[B]

That's true. She also makes, like, the perfect Charlie Brown crying face. She does Charlie Peanuts.

[A]

It's like that giant Snoopy when he's strangling. When he's strangling Snoopy.

[B]

And Snoopy's like, yeah, she basically is a Peanuts character. So. So I was like, guys, let's smoke a drunk sick, please. And when he's like, oh, well, mercy Boku. What the happened in the ride, by the way? Craig's insane. It was just him going off. It was bad. It was bad, bro. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what the Is going on with Craig. He goes from Bruce Banner to the Incredible Hulk in a millisecond. I'm like, does Bruce Banner also do the go do the same thing? Isn't that the nature of Bruce Banner?

[A]

He goes from Bruce Banner to the Incredible Hulk in a millisecond. Yeah, I guess he's just saying he's the Incredible Hulk.

[B]

Not like Bruce Banner takes his time. Not like Bruce Banner's like, you know what? I'm getting a little angry concerning a little green, guys. Just give it about 10 minutes. And I'm probably gonna become a real menace to you all, so probably should start getting out of the way.

[A]

Yeah, he's just spoiling. He's just spoiling the Hulk. For those of you who haven't seen it. Thanks a lot, Whitney. So Shep is with Molly, and he's like, oh, Charlie doesn't see the writing on the wall. I mean, that's on her. I mean, big time. She's like, yeah, literally. I mean, God, there's so many lessons I've learned that people were telling me about, you know, But I had to find out for myself. So did I. Yeah. And, you know, is this going to stick for Charlie? I don't fucking know. Should have brought my tuba. What she actually says today. And I loved.

[B]

I know during a spiritual ceremony, like, yes, that's exactly what this ceremony needs, a euphonium. So it's the next morning, and Sally and everyone's passed out. Everyone's asleep. People are waking up. You know, the usual sort of footage of like, oh, my God, they had a hard night. And then Shep goes to. At 10am Shep goes to knock on Greg's door. He's like, knock, knock, Knock, little boy knocking. Hey, Craig, it's Chapter. Just answer me real quick. Do you want to go fishing with us? No answer. Craig, it's Shep. Blink twice if you hear me. Car, I can't see you blinking. Are you blinking? I think he's blinking. He's alive. Okay, I'll see you later.

[A]

So then he goes over to Shep's room and. No, Austin's room. Sorry. He's like, oh, it's good to wake you up like this. I'm jumping on you. It's been so long since we've woken up in bed together. Oh, gosh. Craig won't answer his door. He must hate himself right now. Austin's like, does he though? Probably, yeah. When have you ever seen Craig hate himself? He's never taken responsibility for anything.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry, that, that, that requires some sort of self awareness and we're still waiting for that ship to arrive in the port. So Shep is like, gosh, I know what he's going through. Boy, do I know what he's going through. I just want to be kind to Craig because I've been there before and you need more support than you ever know.

[A]

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[A]

abusive assholes just need hugs. Really? Yeah. But I don't want him to feel like a pariah. I want him to be relaxed. Whoa. I think the chef is focusing on the wrong people to feel bad for. I mean, Craig is insane right now. You know, I feel bad for Sally. I mean, Craig does not have a conscience, so I just don't see Craig feeling bad.

[B]

I have a hot take. I think Craig should feel like a pariah. I think that's like literally what should happen. And I don't think he should relax. I think he should feel like an outcast as the consequence of his actions. And like, for real, like, if you do that to someone, you should feel like you've done something bad, you've broken a social pact with your group and that there are like repercussions to it. Not like he's probably feels so bad.

[A]

He just poor crap foreign.

[B]

Like I understand it's like a little, it's a little nuanced because when it comes to substance abuse, you want to support people in getting the help that they need, yada, yada, yada. Well, but I also get help.

[A]

But he's still a jackass. You still get thrown in jail for a dui. They don't hug you on the way out. You know what I mean? Like, oh my God, you have a substance abuse issues. Give me a hug. Give me a hug. It's okay. Go. No, you get consequences for your actions. Craig. Craig wanted.

[B]

You'll get that. You'll get the hug after you do your work first, which is apologizing and show some contrition for how you behaved. And then you'll get the support. But you don't. You don't get the support before the victim gets the support. Ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

Craig. Ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

So Austin is.

[A]

I know. I hope he has to go to court. And the. The jury is Sally and Vanita.

[B]

No, Sally would be an annoying juror. Sally would just be waving at all the lawyers. Hi, lawyer. Looks like you got an advanced degree. I'm a doctor. She would be one of them. She basically would be, like, in the porno. It's like, the juror. It's like, yoo hoo. I can't help but watching. You got a firm case.

[A]

What kind of children would a lawyer and a robot surgeon make?

[B]

The Shep is like, gosh, I just want him to go fishing with me. Well, what did he say when you asked him? Well, I knocked, and he didn't answer because that would be, you know, a nice little respite from him just to, like, get away from this very stressful trip to beautiful Puerto Vallarta, where the weather is beautiful. We're doing nothing but swimming and enjoying alcohol. He needs a break.

[A]

It's just been so stressful for him with all the nothing he's had to do. You know, it's just me and Whitner at the moment. You want to call? Come with us. Austin. He's like, chef, as much as fishing sounds amazing. I'm gonna bath. I'm gonna bath. Gosh.

[B]

All right. Whereas they say in Cuba already, oh, so then Cuba, Gorsho.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Garcia Sito.

[A]

Don't you want to come on a boat and watch other people bait my fish for me and then cast a line for me and then just watch me take it out of the water to take a selfie on Instagram with it. Seriously, I love that Austin called that so. Well, the last time when Shep didn't know how to bait, or I guess Whitner, whoever it was, was like, yeah, I think Shep just goes on rich people trips where he doesn't actually do anything except stand there and take pictures with the fish. Cause that's exactly what he does today.

[B]

That's what he did. He was, like, running around like he was on a game show, going to each rod and be like, so Sally is talking to Madison. How's the baby? Baby's Good, good. Oh, my goodness. Gosh, that baby's so cute. How's Hudson?

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hudson's a little nervous. I'm already turning into a beta because he's like. He's just. You know, she's just so little. And he's like, I'm scared. I'm like, how are you scared of the baby? God damn it. You're supposed to be an Alpha, Hudson. Why aren't you an Alpha?

[A]

God?

[B]

And this is. This is why you have to get another child, because you need to see who's the alpha, who's the beta. So we're learning things.

[A]

You guys see on Mexico, it's like, yeah, I miss you so much. I mean, so much has been going on. Well, I'll start with, I made out with Austin. She's like, oh, sh. When? Well, like, every night is being here.

[B]

Well, I knew that's what you wanted. Yeah, it is. Well, it sounds like you're off to a great trip. Yeah, it's been really fun. But Craig was crazy last night. I don't know what set him off, but he started screaming at me, like, what is wrong with him? Yeah, well, he's just not born for corn. He's really good at luck. Making you believe that he's not that way. And then a split second, it can turn. Which is why we always accept them back into the friend group.

[A]

Yeah. And Sally's scared of Craig. She's like, no one holds him accountable. Cause he's fucking scary, you know, psycho like that in the mid. That boy's a mess. That sound good? And what are y' all doing today? Y' all have plans? She's like, well, we're. You know, there's a retreat in the mountain, something called the Sweat Lodge. She's like, oh, Jesus, God, this is a good year to be pregnant. Fuck that.

[B]

Let me know if Craig starts foaming at the mouth and his eyes turn red. Like, okay. I mean, before the sweat lodge, that could happen. Okay. They're already like.

[A]

He already is foaming at the mouth. His eyes already are red. So Charlie comes outside and they talk. And Sally asks if she's talked to Craig. And she's like, not at all. Because, like, I don't want to deal with that. I mean, you know, like, it's crazy. I mean, if you could, like, apologize. I mean, that's what needs to happen. And of course, Charlie's like, you know, I mean, I hope that Craig apologizes to, like, all of us in the band. I mean, you didn't have a problem with him yelling at Vanita. And you're not even going too hard for Sally. You're like, I deserve an apology. Yeah, I love that. Charlie's like, you know who deserves an apology in all of this? Me. I'll say to you, first, they came for the Vanita, and I said nothing. And then they came for the Sally, and I said nothing. And then they came for me, and I ate chips and guacamole. Still said nothing. Really. I don't know where they're saying it's supposed to go, but it's not really worth it.

[B]

Then they came for the local artist in Charleston whose art hangs in his wall. On his wall. And I said, thank you for buying that. So, Charlie, I can hang that for you.

[A]

I'm really good with nails.

[B]

Hey, so what are you doing? You. You want to come to yoga and. Sounds like, no. Go find your inner peace. I'm gonna go find Aust. I say, hey.

[A]

So then Molly, Vanita, and Charlie are going to yoga, But Charlie's late. She gets there for, like, the. The calm down part, which is the best part. Well, actually, it's the worst part, because this lady does sit down calming, where you have to sit really straight with your hands in prayer motion. I hate sitting down. Like, that is literally the hardest thing. I can't do it.

[B]

I. My back hurts. I agree.

[A]

I need a lay down. I like the lay down, where they're like, lay down. Just think about nothing.

[B]

That's. I love that part of yoga. That's the best one. It's killer. And then you get to do the corpse pose, you know, because, like, if you were like, I remember, like, as a kid, like, when you go to sleepover and you, like, sleep on someone's floor because there's, like, obviously not enough space for online beds, and it's like, it hurts so much to sleep on the floor. But with yoga, by the time you get to the part where you're on corpse pose, it just feels so good. I'm like, I could sleep here for hours.

[A]

I know that's. That would be if I wrote the commerce, if I wrote the comma cetera. If it was like comma cetera by Ronnie, it would just be 100 pages of the corpse pose and different places. You know, like, maybe like a wiener here, wiener there, but it would just always be one figure in the corpse pose. It's the best. Yes.

[B]

Corpse poses, wieners. You know what I really like is that there's that one pose where if you say you take, like, the two blocks and you put like one block, like tall behind your head and you put one block sort of like sort of second tier on, like, under your back. So you're sort of like you're hoisted up a little bit on the blocks, but if you put them in the right position, it's so comfortable. Like, that is a dream, that position. A real dream. Yeah. So think about that, everyone, by the

[A]

way, to all those people.

[B]

Just contemplate that.

[A]

I was wondering where that was going. No, it's just contrary.

[B]

I just wanted to reflect. It's an episode about healing

[A]

just for everyone. Doing the corpse pose right now, wondering, God, I hope Ronnie's drag and drop is working. It's not still Apple. Take care of this. I'm serious.

[B]

Why is the drag and drop not working? I'm sorry.

[A]

Because the computer automatically updated itself and that feature stopped working. And then I went into the settings where it told me from the Google A to go on there, and it still is not working.

[B]

So I have never. Wait, why would they disable drag and drop?

[A]

I don't think they disabled it. I think it just doesn't. It's not working right. It's enabled in my settings. I saw it. I re enabled. It was disabled and I re enabled it and it's still not doing it. Should we stop this podcast and I'll restart my computer?

[B]

Sounds like you're dragging and you're about to drop. Apple.

[A]

It's important, you guys. Do you know how many times I drag and drop my window between while we're recapping? That's what I do. That's like my nervous energy. I just drag a window to the right and I drag it back to the left. Then I drag it back to the right, Then I make it bigger, then I make it smaller. Come on, man.

[B]

You are talking like a Bravo star in the sense of like, when a Bravo star, like, gets upset about something they make, they're like. They announce that that thing is their thing. Like, dragging and dropping. Like, that's like my thing. Everyone knows I love to drag and drop on my computer. Like, that's like my signature thing and like, they're taking that away from me.

[A]

Yeah, they're ruining my.

[B]

I'm dragging and dropping right now because you made me realize that this experience is fleeting and could be taken away from me at any moment. So I'm doing some unnecessary dragging and dropping of my window at the moment.

[A]

Wait, but are you three finger doing it on your trackpad? That's what I'm.

[B]

Oh, I'm using a Three fingers. Mouse.

[A]

No, no, mine's just for the old days. You have to have the trackpad thingy, the external trackpad, and then you can use it like a trackpad and you drag it.

[B]

Well, that makes a whole lot more. That makes a hugely more sense. I was like, what are you talking about? You can't drag and drop, but it's with gestures in your fingertips as well.

[A]

Three finger, drag and drop. I need to do it. Three finger, drag and drop.

[B]

Do you have two in the trackpad and one in the sink? That's how you gotta use your three fingers.

[A]

Can I complain about something else? Because this episode really has nothing going on. I ordered a couple of shirts from Temu. Okay. One was supposed to be a Chateau Marmont T shirt, which was really cute. And the other was supposed to say salty and be like salt. You know, the salt thing. I like that meme. So I got those. They were like $3 or whatever. Because it's teemo. One says, I drink bush and I wait. It says something like, I drink bush all day and all night, I bang. Well, would be bush, right? I bang butts or something. I'm like, what? What is this shirt?

[B]

Wait, it's not even close. That's not. There's like, nothing in your order that has anything to do with bush or banging. That's.

[A]

I mean, wild. Where did that even come from?

[B]

That's wild. That's a hilarious. That's a hilarious.

[A]

A drink bush and a bang butts. It's like, what the is this shirt? My God.

[B]

Far cry from Chateau Marmont. Whatever. Yeah. Why were you getting a Chateau Marmont shirt? It just looked cool.

[A]

It was in my suggested things and it was $3, and I was like, that's cute. Okay, so. Yeah, because it was the logo from. I don't know, whatever. Okay, so they're doing yoga. So she shows up. Yoga. And Sally's like, Sally leaves. Okay, so now they're talking. So Molly's like, yeah, after last night's festivities, like, I needed yoga. I mean, this is fuckery. And Charlie's like, yeah, this was nice. This was great. You know that last pose that I was here for, that was really fun. And Vanita's like, yeah, it was nice. I mean, Craig should have been at this yoga, right? I mean, not with us, but by himself, maybe. Molly's like, yeah, no, I don't need my vibe, so thanks.

[B]

I mean, it does suck, though, because I feel like in the past, whenever I have seen him, like, overreact or, you know, when him And Austin got into it. Different things like that and such and whatnot and who not. It just. It's been about something. But seriously, last night, it was about nothing. And it was like, I am not interested in this. So Molly's like, so is this the straw that broke the camel's back? And you know, Charlie was like, the camel's broken? No. Doing her frown face. No, the camel. Not the camel.

[A]

I like Charlie. Okay. Overall, I. I do like her. I take issue with this, what she just said, you know, whenever. Whenever. Because she's talking to Vanita and she's like, well, you know, whenever I've seen Craig going off in the past, at least he's had a reason. That's not cool, because you're talking to the other woman that he just screamed at. And yes, Vanita was, like, kind of poking at him through Austin, but nobody deserves that shit, and I don't like that. And also, if you want to get to it, there you. Sally was kind of poking at him through you because you were going to Craig being like, oh, Craig. You know, Sal, I just have to be careful around Sally because you get so upset, which was pissing Craig off. So if we're going to excuse everything Craig does because he's being, you know, given a reason to, then you gave him reason to. To. I mean, if you want to look at it that way, which is a terrible way to look at it. No one gave anybody reason to act like that. Craig is just an asshole. So stop excusing it until it happens to you.

[B]

Charles. Charlie, you've been dragged and dropped.

[A]

I did that with three fingers. Take my advice. Apple like you listen here, Charlie, I've had it.

[B]

Need to get a sticker for that. I need to find a stinger as soon as possible for the next time I say drag and drop. The only stinger I have loaded up is this one from Heather Dubrow. It just doesn't work the same.

[A]

No. So then we go over to Austin and Sally. They're at the swim bar. Where else would they be?

[B]

Me.

[A]

And they're talking about Madison. He's like, well, I mean, I only knew that you talked to her because she texted me and called me a little. So it's pretty funny.

[B]

Yeah. This is super, super funny. Yeah. So Sally's like, you are a little slut. I'm not a little slut. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, aren't I? But no, she's doing really well. She wanted to know everything. I was like, madison, we needed you here. Except for right here between my vagina and your penis. Oh, Austin.

[A]

So then Rodrigo joins, and he's like, guys, hey, girlfriends, fill me in on the tea. I slept until noon.

[B]

And Salah's like, rodrigo, we're on a day. Get yourself lost. Like, this is a date, girlfriend. I'm kidding.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then a visual that I'm surprised we haven't had on this show already. But in some ways, we really have. An iguana just goes swimming right through the pool. The iguana just gets that, swims across it. That was so funny.

[A]

It was like, I'm just taking my morning. Like, it knew how to get out and everything. It jumped into the deep end, just took, like a. His little head was above the water. He's like.

[B]

It was doing the breaststroke. You know when you go to the pool and there's always, like, a lady doing the breaststroke in there, sort of like. And her head's above the water. She doesn't want to get her hair. It's like, you know, that's what he. That's what the iguana reminded me of. Like, excuse me. I'm just doing my breast stroke. This is how I stay young. Excuse me.

[A]

I made it all the way to the end and just, like, gracefully walked up the steps and was like, all right, have a good day, everybody. The tourists are about to arrive.

[B]

That iguana was the Sally of iguanas. It was like, you look at me. You're bathing, diva.

[A]

So Sally asks if anyone's talked to Craig. He's like, no, I don't think anyone has. He was in his room. He locked the door. Well, you didn't like peeking to make

[B]

sure he was good?

[A]

Oh, he locked the door. Okay, I guess you can't do it. You didn't go around to the window. You know what I do sometimes when people lock their door? I'll go through the air conditioner ducts. All you have to do is two little screws. Just crawl right in there, go right. Sally, sound like a stalker. When that side of Craig comes out, I don't want to be anywhere near. I mean, that was the most insane thing I've ever seen. Thank God popcorn wasn't here. I honestly don't even think. I don't want to put words in Charlie's mouth, but she was disgusted. She was disgusting.

[B]

I don't want to put words in Charlie's mouth, but it does open quite a bit. It's very easy to put things in there, I have found. But, I mean, I'm gonna Refrain. I'll refrain. So awesome.

[A]

He's caught already every bug in Mexico in that mouth. Poor thing. So don't have room for more words?

[B]

Well, you say something to him and he refuses to hear it. Well, maybe he'll be open to hearing after the healing retreat. Sure. Yep. Sure. That's. Craig's known for that.

[A]

Is it a lobotomy? Like, what is this? I love that everyone acts like they're gonna meditate for one day and everything's gonna be fine. Mine. It's going to take more than that. So now Whitner is on the fishing boat with Shep, and they're talking about Craig. And Whitner's like, yeah, I mean, I tried to talk to him because Sally left the other van, like, shell shocked. And Charlie had never seen anything like that. So I was like, man, are you okay? And he was like, oh, he couldn't even walk. He couldn't even walk. He was like, shabbat bravo, con. Wait, that's me.

[B]

He was like an iguana taking a swim. Couldn't even walk. So when there's like, Yeah, I mean, just, like, a storm pending, like, in his eye, you know? And I know that look because my mom is not August. So Chef is like, gosh, well, I think he's just. He just got a head of steam yesterday. A big head of steam. I'm like, he had a head of alcohol and who knows what else. It wasn't just steam, I'll tell you that much. He's like, I just don't think it's time to pile on. Look, when I got kicked out of boarding school, my mom came up and packed up my shit in the middle of senior year. And she was like, I'm not even gonna say anything because I know how bad you feel. No one's as hard as you are on yourself. Or at least that's how it should be. And look how you turned out, Shep.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your mom. I don't know that. I don't know that anyone would credit your parents with doing a great job, honestly. Yeah, I don't know that anybody's sending your mom cards like, wow, you know what? You've done a great job with Chef. He is just thriving driving out there. Also, I'm sure his mom was in the car. Look, anyone putting themselves in the mom's shoes knows how that mom was thinking. She was like, oh, my God, I totally understand how the boarding school feels, because I'm the one who sent him there in the first place to get out of my house. Now, where are we gonna send this?

[B]

Yeah, also, the whole, like, when I got kicked out of boarding school, it's such a funny way to start it. Like, gosh, you know, we all make mistakes. You know, when you yell at a girl or you get kicked out of your boarding school. Kicked out of your boarding school is not nothing I'd like to add. You just. Oh, it's just that thing. Yeah, I know you feel bad. I'm not gonna say anything because I know you feel bad. I don't think he feels bad that he got kicked out of boarding school. I'm just gonna say that right now.

[A]

And of course, he's a man on bravo. So guess what his remedy for everything is. More drugs. You know, if someone has a drug and alcohol problem, what would really help them is drug retreat. So let's try some ayahuasca. He's like, yeah, ayahuasca really helped me a lot. I've seen. No, pretty.

[B]

I got. Can you believe I was kicked out of boarding school just for trying to lead an ayahuasca retreat in the middle of history class?

[A]

So then Craig meets up with Whitney, and Whitney's like, well, thanks for making me shoot a scene. I really not supposed to have to do that. I'm here in a black jean jacket for a summer lunch. Okay. What. What. What happened last night? And he's like, oh, I'm okay. Did you. Are we gonna have some nice lunch? I got your favorite Coke. Where is it? It's a diet Coke. God damn it.

[B]

Craig's trying to snort the soda. Are you trying to drown me? Do we have a server? Can I yell at her? He's like, y', all. I mean, I ordered you a bunch of little stanky poos. How'd you sleep? It's like, fine. I slept. I mean, yesterday was a long one, y'. All. Was that maybe one of the underlying reasons why you got a bit agitated last night? Craig's like, I mean, I'm perfectly imperfect. I was like, shut up.

[A]

Or what hog. What hogwash is that? Who told you that perfectly imperfect was your. You're a dude chat.

[B]

GPT therapist giving you some advice again? Please, can you not lead with, like, a coy expression from a coffee mug at Marshalls? Come on.

[A]

So he's like, at the end of the day, you get coke heads for coke beans. And, you know, after, like, drinking for 12 hours, you know, probably, maybe I shouldn't do that anymore. Like, I don't like freaking out and getting agitated like I did last Night. Like, I hate that about me. And, you know, it's a good reminder that there's always things to improve on.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, of course you have to actually improve to improve, but it's a good reminder that there's a potential for improvement, even though you will not be taking any steps in that direction. But, like, thanks for the reminder.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, maybe I didn't have to react like that. But, like, I mean, I. Up once in two years. Craig, that's like your third or that's like your fourth or fifth time this season now that I can't through my head. It's your second time on this trip. What are you talking about?

[B]

Fully unrepentant. So Whitney's like, oh, you do. We look. We all do. Stupid. Okay. Look at my mustache. So maybe we. You should apologize. He's like, to who?

[A]

I hate this guy.

[B]

Maybe a Sally. He's like, seems like no matter what happens, you can always count on Sally to be, like, right there. I'm like, oh, so this is Sally's fault, Everyone. He still believes it.

[A]

No matter what happens when you're yelling at people, it's Sally's fault.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Like, it's so crazy. Like, whenever I'm screaming at someone, there's Sally and there's you screaming. That's the problem. You. So Whitney's like, what do you mean, Craig? And he's like, like, I genuinely believe that if she wasn't involved, that me and Charlie would probably be further along.

[B]

No, I think you'd be. First of all, there's no set timeline on any of it. And second of all, you would be further along if you didn't yell at Sally in front of the girl you were trying to woo.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So Whitney's like, got it. You know, I would give you advice, but being a good person would make you terrible on this show. So I'm just gonna sit here and enable you for a little while. Just say I shot a scene with them to shut everybody up. Okay. And Craig's like, I don't know. What? What, Ben?

[B]

No, I was just gonna say mother. Oh, keep going, Ronnie.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what the answer is. Whitney's like, well, as they say, pride goeth before the fall, so. Well, yeah, because pride's in, like, summer, and then fall is in, like, the fall. Duh.

[B]

Duh. Like, what are you trying to tell me?

[A]

Okay, I like that he says he. He gives this quote to Craig, and then Craig does not get it at all. He's like, yeah.

[B]

Anyway, Chef told me doesn't know what that means.

[A]

No idea.

[B]

No idea. It's like pride goes before the fall. Oh, sure, Commercials. Here comes one right now.

[A]

Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan Fellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.

[B]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball, but you can call me the Smash Daddy.

[A]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

[B]

That's right. Hey. Hey. So each week, you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[A]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven, even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[B]

News flash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy Fan fellows wherever you get your podcasts. So then Craig returns to the other bros, and the guys see they're done from their fishing. We did see a little bit of their fishing, as you mentioned, which was, as you also mentioned, that the fish would. They were just on a boat. The fish would get on the lines, and then Shep would run over to the line, they'd pull up, and these little shiny fish were like, what is happening? Who is this boozy smelling man holding me? I can't breathe. And there's this person who has strange teeth and looks way too old for who he. For what his age is, and he's holding me. What is my life?

[A]

I know that I might be eaten today, but do I have to be eaten by someone that's gonna eat me with their mouth open? I mean, come on, give me some respect.

[B]

This is also the only show ever on Bravo where they are not humane to the fish. Because normally when they go fishing on Bravo, they're like, okay, well, since we're on tv, we'll throw the fish back. But Chef just throws it in the cooler. It's like, oh, nope, that fish is gonna be eaten.

[A]

That fish teacher who's just like, suffocate. Bye.

[B]

It was like, boop. You will be eaten.

[A]

Nope. Well, they did do it last time they showed Shet fishing. They took it off the hook, but they're like, jerking the hook out of the mouth. I'm like, how many busted ass fish. Fish have gone back into the water after Shep has been. It's like the reverse. Bravo. You know, they come back with busted Lips instead of bigger lips. It's like, what happened to you? You got bravoed.

[B]

Your face is such a shiny fish. And then later on, I think, really, right now, Craig's like, how is fishing? And ship's like, gosh, we thought we caught three fish. It's called a skipjack. They were tiny. Skipjack? Isn't that when you decide not to masturbate for the day? Yeah. And so winner's like, he's like, what have you been up to today? And he's like, just went to lunch with Whitney. Oh, really? What did Whitney have to say?

[A]

Well, let's just put it this way. We're not doing a skipjack. Oh, damn it. Whitney got you too, huh? Yeah, Gotta keep my job. Well, we talked about all the healing we're gonna do today. Winner's like, huh? Well, that's not how you approach healing. Okay. Gotta be more serious about it. It's healing.

[B]

So now the girls are getting ready for their healing. It's kind of funny because they're making themselves look all nice knowing that they're about to sweat their faces off. And the girls got together, and then Vanita, like, Craig is like, hey, Charlie, are you excited? She's like, totally. But then she gets into a different van because she's unhappy with Craig.

[A]

So it's like, I'm not going in his van. I'm going to pick ts days. That's the only kind of d I don't like. So Austin's like, hey, you sure you don't want to go with that one? Charlie's like, no, no, God, please. So now they go into the vans and head towards the healing session. And Whitney is like, oh, I went to this weird, like, super progressive private school in Washington, D.C. kindergarten through K. I mean, yeah, K through 12. Sorry. And I was taught by hippies, so I hate the Grateful Dead hippies. So I turned to punk rock instead. Stupid hippies. Progressive.

[B]

At school, nothing says punk rock like an angry private schooler.

[A]

So I found punk when I got mad at the people at private school K through 12.

[B]

I found punk rock when I wasn't invited to the ambassador's son's birthday party.

[A]

Ra so we get a spiritual leader named Victoria. Reuben is their mezcal guide. Okay, a mezcal guide. What kind of healing is this?

[B]

Delicious.

[A]

My family running this healing. I love this. It's like, all right, everybody, we're going to heal. This is the hottie who's going to be leading your healing. Let's get faced.

[B]

Okay, so chef tells us they Start doing this thing where you stand there and you hold your arms out and they take like a incense or something and sort of like guide it all around your armpits and stuff. And Shep is like, before I did ayahuasca, they did two days of the stuff. Just so I get you in the mood. I'm like, I feel like normally it's like a 10 minute process, but with Chef, they're like, we're gonna really need to spend some time with this one. There's a lot of time. Toxins. We got to clear out.

[A]

They were saging you, Chef. They wouldn't let you into the retreat until they'd sage two years of out of you. So Victoria is. This isn't the thing with the bulls, right? That's. That's later.

[B]

That's later.

[A]

This is just because I love that lady. Because that lady talks like this. She's like, welcome, everybody. Welcome to our spirit with the bow.

[B]

Yeah, I loved her.

[A]

Like, every final word. Every last word in the sentence, she's like, and now breathe deep.

[B]

She definitely kind of had camp counselor vibes. Meet spiritualism. But this was her too. It was the same person. She was like, leading things. So she led, like, this part. And then she did. She led the massages. Then she came back for the sound. The sound.

[A]

Okay, so it is her. So. Okay, today we're going to have a beautiful day for manifesting what. What we want in our life, mainly opening the heart. She's so sexy about it.

[B]

Hello, everyone. So then Victoria's like, well, I think we're all cleansed and blessed, and we have hibiscus tea here in a little hut. And also, if you want to grab some water, please do, because whenever you're done, can take a seat. We'll start the beautiful sweat lodge ceremony, which is called Tamazcal. You know that, like, they probably just all heard Takate and they're like, yes, sweet beer. So then this guy Reuben comes out. He's got long, flowy hair, and he's like, very hippie. And he talk. Talks about, like, it's going to clean the body and the mind and their spirit.

[A]

I'm like, just start with the guys and give them all a bath. This is such a charm. These guys need a bath. Everybody would feel better with the shower.

[B]

You know those commercials where they show how dawn gets rid of oil on bird's feathers from oil spills? Like, we need just to do that with these men spiritually and also physically. Let's just. Let's do some oil spill Treatment on them. And so the sweat lodge is going to be an hour and 15 minutes, which is cray cray. When she said that, I was like, oh, I'm not doing it. I also had flashbacks to Gina Christian Heider going into a sweat lodge in Orange County a few years ago. And like, I'm gonna die.

[A]

She got all traumatized.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She was like sobbing and dying.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

I can't even make it 10 minutes in a sauna. So I don't know how these people are doing it.

[B]

Yeah, I was impressed. I. I felt like it must have actually felt amazing. When you come out of it, you probably felt like so light and I mean, and after you take your shower probably was wonderful, but good God, an hour and 15 minutes. And also there's stories of people who die in these things.

[A]

Like I. I would be one of those. I would die. I have to. I have high blood pressure. I can't go in there. No.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I feel like there was a story back a few years ago. Oh, I guess it's 2009, when there was a deadly sweat lodge ceremony in Sedona, Arizona, led by a self help author. And like, like several people died. Oh, because they did an hours long sweat lodge. Well, that's stupid. Hours long? That's crazy.

[A]

How many, how many hours? Well, this one's an hour and 15 minutes. I mean, what are you gonna call them stupid when they all die in here? Let's see.

[B]

They.

[A]

Let's test it.

[B]

I don't know how long it was. I'm gonna look, but that's scary. That's too scary for me.

[A]

Yeah. So Craig, they go in there and Craig's like, I can already feel the heat. And Reuben's like, this is a place where we bond as a family. Okay, bro, you don't have to talk like that too. Okay. It's only sexy with Victoria. Does it? It's like. Well, it's good that we're bonding because we all hate each other in here. So, guys, to the sacred space. And when we're going in the tim car, we're going in the mother of earth womb. Grouse.

[B]

I always wanted a baby. Now I get to be the baby.

[A]

I'm not paying you to crawl into a womb. I don't care whose it is.

[B]

Yeah. I think wombs, I feel like have a one way path. Okay.

[A]

So

[B]

sorry.

[A]

Mother Earth's like, get out of my womb. I've already birthed you. Exit only. Exit only.

[B]

Mother Earth is like, this is not my womb. This is My armpit. You guys are crawling into my armpit right now. So they go into this. This. They go in and they start. They have, like, a GoPro in there. It's actually, like, a pretty. It's crazy. I think. I think they did the exact same setup with Orange County. They've sort of stuck a GoPro on the wall. They're like, we're not gonna make our cameraman go to the sweat lodge. So you just sort of see them sitting there in the dark, and they're all just. They're just going through it. It's going and going and going. And finally, after, like, about 30 minutes, Craig's like, that's enough for me. That's good enough for me. I'm gonna go now. I like how. What do you recommend I do now? And then Reuben, the guy's like, well, you know, at this point, this is a place where we face our own fears and many moments of our life, there are moments where you can't get out. So really, you're battling with yourself right now. Craig's like, yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna succumb to the battle.

[A]

It's like, no, thank you. I get claustrophobic. I'm not great in saunas. So, bye. And Ruben's like, try to chant with me. Everybody else. And so I was like, ow. Burns my throat. I need this. So then Vanita.

[B]

I thought we were chanting.

[A]

I thought it was funny how they all come out. When they come out, they're all just quiet. Because, I mean, it was a lot, you know, and they're all quiet, and then they start talking, and they're like, oh, my God. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. Oh, my God. That, like, changed my life. It was like, so. Oh, my God. My spirit has never felt so good. And Sally's like, my throat burns. The whole thing goes over to. Over Sally's head.

[B]

I know. She's just like. Like her. She's basically like, wow, I had a sweaty moment with Austin. I think we're really getting close now. So now they shower. The other people are massage. Getting massages. We didn't talk about that, but they all get massages. And we get a nice pico at. At Whitney's very, very pale body. And then he really does not go into the sun. It's true. So they take shame.

[A]

A pale body. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I'm not shammy. I'm just saying. I'm remarking. I'm remarking. You know what I'm doing. I'm dragging and I'm dropping. I'm dragging and dropping on that. On that pale body.

[A]

Unfortunately, it's not working. Do I need a fourth finger?

[B]

Drag and drop. So, yeah, I got rid of that. Hippies, punk rock. Got some middle school punk rock. So now it's afterwards they take their shower and Sally's asking if Charlie's okay. And Charlie's like, yeah, I just, I don't. I don't give a fuck about anything at all. And Charlie's like, I do too. I feel like I'm just cleanse of everything. Like my brain is empty. And Charles, like, empty. Yeah, empty. I'm like, listen, I hate to break it to you guys, you probably didn't need a sweat lodge for any of us to tell you that.

[A]

I know. When she said my brain is empty, I just said, we know, Sally. We know. Also, I'm thinking about Austin in the shower.

[B]

Yoo hoo.

[A]

Reverse yoo hoo hoo. She runs to Austin, who's in the shower and he's like, oh, I was thinking about a lot of things. And meanwhile, Craig, by the way, is sneaking around so he can listen. He's acting like he's drinking water, but he's like sneaking all over to see who's talking about him. He's all paranoid. And Austin's like, I was thinking about a lot of things and my intention was not like to second guess my decision making. That's what I learned. Because my decision making has been really, really good on Kat. Dad, I don't get that.

[B]

No. So Whitner's like, decisiveness. You know what's funny about having talked to Craig about y'?

[A]

All.

[B]

That's what he wants for you. And I was like, really? Well, I want him to go to anger management, but we don't always get what you want.

[A]

And you see Greg hear him, and he just kind of walks away like, I'm gonna get Austin back. So now it's the next part of the ceremony. And now the thunderstorm is brewing. And Victoria's like, remember, be mindful. Infer that once we enter, we're entering into a sacred circle, right? So she gives a speech and like, everybody get comfortable. Let's sit in a circle. We're going to create a safe space. Okay.

[B]

It was actually like a wonderfully shot scene. Like, the colors were beautiful. You could feel the warmth and the humidity in the air. It felt very like. It felt the warmth.

[A]

You could feel the humidity.

[B]

It was very woo woo. But in a way that I was like, I kind of Want to do it? Like, I'm not gonna lie, it looked sort of like a fun thing. And I was surprised that they all had buy in because this crew here, I mean, you never know with. With the Southern charm people. So she was speech. What'd you say?

[A]

What is buy in? They all have buy in meaning that

[B]

they all bought into this idea. Like, no one was like, this is stupid. This is silly. Why are we doing this? Sitting around in a circle like, there was no Jax's there. Like, they all were like, okay, we're gonna do this. We're gonna, like, have a sound bath and feel something. I thought that was kind of cool. I'm not even a woo woo person like that, but I just thought it was cool that they were. They were into it.

[A]

So they all sit around in a big circle, and there's a storm brewing. There's, like, thunder clapping. And Austin's like, we have offended the gods. The thunder's like, close your mouth when you eat. Are not napkins.

[B]

It was funny because the lightning starts to happen, and in my mind, I'm like, should we move this inside? Because, you know. You know, rain is one thing, but lightning, that could be. That could be dangerous, guys. But they don't. And I was like, why aren't you guys moving in? And then finally moved it in. And I just love the musician, because the musician, there's a guy who inside, and he's got, like, a little microphone and everything. And you could tell he's like, I've got electronics. We have to go inside. He just, like, runs inside.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, the guitar guy was like, I'm out of here. See ya. The spiritual DJ was like, oh, no. Getting this, pioneer.

[B]

The computer scientist was like, I'm packing up my three computers and rolling them inside.

[A]

Sandra Bullock's like, how am I supposed to type so quickly if my computer's covered in water? I'm out of here.

[B]

Here, Doc from Back to the Future is like, just trying to connect two wires. Like, damn it.

[A]

So they go inside, and Victoria is like, okay, welcome to your new circle, guys. Like, Victoria, how am I supposed to trust you if you just left me out in a thunderstorm? You didn't take me until it already been raining. It was warning you, Victoria.

[B]

We call this circle the circle of bad indoor lighting. Harsh lighting, everyone. White. White bulbs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Please close your eyes only so that way you don't have to see all the terrible shadows cast on our skin.

[A]

And, guys, now I'm gonna share cacao with you. Molly's like, oh, my God, I should have brought my tuba. Cacao. I didn't know cacao was so spiritual. I looked it up. Up. Sure enough, it is. Maybe I should switch. Switch over to cacao instead of Coco. Oh. What do you think? What if I come on here? I'm all spiritual. Will you still like me if.

[B]

If you come back as a cacao man instead of a cocoa man?

[A]

Yeah. What if I came on here? I'm like, guys, I shouldn't make fun of people. We're all one, really. At the end of the day, like, I'm basically Craig. Like, we're one person. I really understand him. Come.

[B]

Yeah. Kaka is powerful. So they are. They start doing an exercise, about to close their eyes and, like, walk around the room without, like. They're just supposed to walk around and, like, feel people's energies and then ultimately find someone and hold hands. And wouldn't you know it, Vanita and Craig wind up holding hands. And Vanita's like, this is weird. And I think the gods are trying to tell me, either fix it or get out. And I want to get out. I was proud of her. I was proud of her for not saying, I really should fix things because we did like each other.

[A]

One more.

[B]

She's like, no, I don't want to fuck with this guy ever again.

[A]

And he doesn't either. He's just, like, squinting like she. And he just, like, smiles. She's like. So they just break apart. And then. I don't know. I'm.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

I know this whole thing is always harping, harping on Craig, but Jesus Christ, would it be so hard to be like. Like, hey, Vanita, sorry I yelled at you. You know, I know things aren't easy, but, like, maybe just something like, he's just such an ass. So now they have to walk around with their eyes closed and find another partner. Which, of course, leads to Craig and Austin holding hands through this whole speech. And it's a long one. This one's a long one. It's like our ancestors used to drink cocoa, and they were miserable people. And then someone found cacao, and grandma learned how to feel things through her toes up into mother's womb. It's like, okay, Jesus Christ, wrap it up, Victoria. Wrap it up. But they open their eyes, and Craig and Austin are staring at each other.

[B]

Yeah, it was as vanilla as you can imagine. They're just staring. Oh, it's insane.

[A]

And Craig's needs more cacao. Am I right?

[B]

Yeah. This ceremony is very moving, Touching. Hands with Austin. Is this, like, fun callback to the memories that kept us friends for so long? Yeah. All those fun memories of when you guys stood and held hands and stared into each other's eyes. Yeah.

[A]

So they decide to heal, and then they have to hug each other. And Shep hugs Craig. He's like, I think Craig needed a hug. Who was the most sincere and powerful hug hug I've ever given anybody. And then they show him hugging, and

[B]

he's like, why did sincere face. Why did Craig need a really big hug again? What was that for?

[A]

Craig is hurting guys. Hurt people. Hurt people.

[B]

So then, okay, I want all of you guys to close into a circle. We're in a circle. And now close your eyes. Feel gratitude. Deep breath. Feel gratitude. And Charlie's like, there's definitely a hope that we can all move forward from and, you know, everything that's happened in the past couple of days, But I think that Craig owes all of us an apology for his behavior, and I just don't want to have to tell him that. I want him to kind of come to that conclusion on his own. I'm like, well, you can either wait for that, or you can wait for Haley's comment to come back. I don't know which one will happen first, but.

[A]

And I was like, do I think this woo woo spiritual journey is gonna fix stuff? No, it's gonna take more than this.

[B]

I did the two by myself. Yeah.

[A]

And Whitner's like, it's gonna take more, a lot more than a sweat lodge and some drum circles to exercise these demons. Ah, Whitner.

[B]

What will happen with this fractured greep? Well, next week is the season finale where they will get into formal wear and have another little masquerade ball in downtown Charleston and yell at each other, and fun times will be had by all. But that's great, because it also means that as Southern charm sunsets, the sun rises on Southern hospitality, which we are recapping next. And good God, if you are not watching this show.

[A]

Wow, Southern hospitality is. It's so good. It is. And also, just because some of you I know don't watch all the shows on Bravo, but this Ladies of London reboot is also excellent. I watched both episodes last night. Excel. Lente. We will be covering that. So check out all the new stuff Bravo's got coming down the pike, because it's pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. But if you're not. If you watch Southern Charm but not Southern hospitality, might we recommend you stay in Charleston and watch Southern hospitality? Because, yeah, it is firing so hard that I don't even know what to do with myself. But you know what? I do know what I'm gonna do with myself? I'm gonna end this. And we're gonna pick this conversation back up again on that recap. Thanks, everyone, for being here. We'll catch you in the next one. Bye. Watch what Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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Strike a pose. It's Tori Rose. She ain't no shrinking violet Coutar. We love you guys. Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fanfellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things things Sanderson.

[B]

And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball. But you can call me the smash Daddy.

[A]

And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.

[B]

That's right. Hey. Hey. So each week, you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter.

[A]

And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert. He'll be wrong.

[B]

Newsflash. I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy Fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts.